Reader mas00 asks,
question for CH readers.. so I TA at a college getting my masters and I sent out an email to my class and I got one back from a 6-7 in my class.
“Thanks for a fun quarter! It’s the first time I actually enjoyed going to section.
Hope to see you around!”
how can I flip this to see if she really wants to see me?
You don’t need to flip anything. Girls will rarely go out of their way to email a man such effusive praise unless there’s a sexual undercurrent. My bet is that she harbors illicit thoughts about you and her… together… under the silver moonlight.
Since you’re not a professor, I don’t believe the standard ethics codes prohibiting teacher-student affairs applies, but someone in the belly of the beast who is more informed can correct me if I’m wrong about that. A safe ROI reply would be simply providing an opportunity for her to meet you in an out-of-school or in-my-office context, and see if she bites. For example:
“I’m giving career advice to students on [X] at [X], if you’d like to stop by we can discuss further.”
Isolation is the key here. If the calculated ruse is not your thing, then just straight up segue into flirty banter.
“If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you were flirting with me.”
If she’s at all interested in seeing you again, she’ll respond to that stinky bait in a way that indicates she’d like the conversation sustained rather than curtly cut off. Plus, such an email gives you plausible deniability should any school termagants get wind of it and summon you to a tribunal. Really, given the risks, you’re best off communicating with this girl in person, instead of over email. At the least, use your personal email.