Given the recent leaks about NSA and IRS dossiers on American citizens, it makes sense that some people are choosing to opt out of the social media ego stroke-athon for privacy reasons. But how does the womanizing sophisticate who has waved sayonara to Facebook and the rest handle the inevitable questions and objections when girls ask him about his odd lack of online presence?
Women, lovely lemmings they are, don’t like weirdness. Non-conformists give them the heebie-vajjies, until such time that the non-conformist is validated by the wider social group. So the Man Without a Facebook is likely to elicit suspicion, and maybe even irrational annoyance, from women. This problem will be worse for the off-the-grid man who prefers the company of younger women (the kind of woman least likely to care that Big Daddy State is safely in charge of her personal liberties).
Generally, a man should handle the “Why aren’t you on Facebook?” question the same way he would handle any shit test, by using any of the following three tactics:
1. Agree and amplify
2. Dismiss and ignore
3. Ridicule and reframe
Examples:
“Why aren’t you on Facebook?”
“Because I’m wanted in twenty-three states for crimes against humanity.”
“Better question: Why are you on Facebook telling the world all your secrets?”
“Remember when girls had diaries, and they would freak out if their brother even touched the cover? We’ve come a long way.”
“I was. I got kicked off.”
“WUT” {Jeantel Rachel game}
“What a weird question.”
“Hey, you gotta at least get to know me before you start stalking me.”
“Because it’s boring.”
“Because everyone else is doing it.”
“Because I found that the girls on there are all shallow and self-involved.”
“I am. But I’m in the VIP lounge. Zuckerberg invite only. Not open to the public.”
***
Ok, I think you get the idea. The crucial rule to remember about any type of shit test is that it matters less how successfully you hurdle it than how successfully you avoid smashing into it. So as long as you don’t sound defensive or shaky or placating, you should do fine. If a girl is insistent and presses you for a reason why you skip Facebook, tell her “What’s with the third degree?”. The quicker you can get muleheaded chicks like that to defend themselves, the better off you look.
Id be really concerned about a guy who claimed he had no facebook. I woukd think he was married or had a girlfriend and wanted to conceal it.
I would need an explanation. I keep my private life private might suffice. The explanation of paranoia about nsa activities would definitely suffice. But that’s just me.
LikeLike
i dont wanna get you pregnant
LikeLike
Gay
LikeLike
“Why aren’t you on Facebook?”
1. lzlzlzloozo Because I been speding more time on ASSBOOKZ lzozozoozzoz where I can see you buttholelilo before wasting to much itmez tlaking 2u lzozozo
2. Becausez I coucldnin’t rmemeber if my passwordz was
lzlzlzozzlzoz
or
zlzozozlzozozozo
or zllzzozlzozozozozo
or zozlzolzozoz buttehtxzlzlozozozo
3. BEcaueuz I don’t want da zucckerberg eleitesz spying on my ass lzlzzozoz
4. Because I was saving myself for sit on your face with a book zzlzlzozlzozlz
5. Why aren’t you on my face Brooke?
lzozozolzlozozozzlzozozozozo
LikeLike
Love the last one…
LikeLike
Well at least you listen to me.
LikeLike
Hasn’t gotten me laid, but I have turned down at least 4 FB requests from women in the past few years. Even before I discovered the red pill. Just came naturally. I don’t need to be one of her 750 FB friends. Now, my ex GF I met through FB, but this was in early 2010 and I maintain that literally the game has changed in the past 3 years. FB is very lame now whereas from 2008-2010 it was legitimately new and it was legit to find people from high school and hook up with them. That time has now passed.
LikeLike
There are married guys with Facebook accounts who reveal little, including the fact that they are married. They aren’t hiding anything….they just don’t advertise every detail of their lives. I, for example, post once per month, at most.
LikeLike
Yeah but once you have a profile, I will ask to friend you. If you don’t accept, I will be suspicious.
If you are married, you only look better in my eyes but you can’t sneak around to me.
LikeLike
Homewrecker!
LikeLike
That’s how I do it too, I have a facebook page so I don’t look like I’m hiding something, I probably post 5-6 things in a year at most. You could tell some of my hobbies from it but you wouldn’t learn anything about my opinions or my love life. Privacy is gold.
LikeLike
I’ve never had a Facebook! Why would I want to contribute to the largest intelligence agency in the world? In the middle ages, it was the Catholic Church, where everyone was confessing everything like a bunch of morons. Today, it’s Facebook. Why would I ever want to participate in something so stupid and totalitarian? Every single aspect of your life, no matter how miniscule, is recorded on Facebook – religious beliefs, personal quirks, day to day activities, and the like.
How could anyone with half a brain participate in this massive psychological evaluation of the people for the purpose of preventing future revolutions?
Not having a Facebook hasn’t hurt my sex life one bit! If a girl asks why I don’t have it, I usually direct her to the South Park episode that explains why it is a waste of time and a garbage site! Mostly though, “because it’s stupid” should suffice!
P.S. You think they gave us Facebook for free because they love us? You’re a naïve little girl! If you’re not the customer, you are the product being sold!
LikeLike
If you’re not the customer, you are the product being sold!
Exactly.
LikeLike
Yeah ’cause adulterous flakes have a lot to hide.
LikeLike
It’s like this. I prefer knowing you as femistx posting lingerie selfies to friending Mehra Gupta, NGO charity HR coordinator. Shhh. Don’t ruin it.
LikeLike
Hey well, there is like 5000 times more info about me here and on my blog than on fb. The pics are less revealing there too.
Prolly why I dont careabout nsa leaks. I told the world everything already.
LikeLike
Jesus Harold Christ!—-> THIS! FTW— you only work from the neck down. ButterFace… I have seen your face it is fucking unpleasant. But you are a light skinned DESI, right? From the neck down you are an HB8 at least maybe a DIME, but like our host, I’m an alpha male in a fucked marketplace. I could only get with you if you produced your body, didn’t talk too much, and turned your face away from me as much as possible… Your big IQ/brain are valuable, but not for white alpha males, and not for fucking…. realk talk.
LikeLike
God, you’re not even worth a rape from me.
Kindly go wander about Newark, NJ during a Friday night. Preferably right after the Zimmerman verdict gets announced. Win or lose, there’s gonna be a lotta “youfs” wildin’ their asses off.
In conclusion, rap! And jigaboos suck.
LikeLike
I disagree with this- it contradicts many game/alpha maxims, provided that the non-conformity is of the rebel/artist/lone soldier type and not the loner/nerd/loser type. There’s many types of non-conformists, in other words, and absence from Facebook, by iteslf, is neutral among them.
fwiw, I have never been interested in joining Facebook or Twitter- not even a little bit- both because it’s ill-advised to put details of your life and your fleeting opinions up on the web for the world to see (and that’s not even considering the NSA metadata surveillance, which is overblown) and because, well. they’re a huge time sink and kind of stupid.
Plus Facebook is basically obliged to extract more and more ad revenue from its members in increasingly deep and intrusive ways, which will spoil the experience and lead to a gradual exodus. Already existing users spend way less time on the site than they did in the early days. Given that the ad-revenue extraction depends on regular use and regular user-data updates, it’s pretty clear that the long, slow circle around the drain has already started. (You read it here first.) It won’t implode and become an emparrasing punchline, like MySpace- it will just gradually fade in relevance and value as the herdmob moves on to the next shiny toy.
I’d actually be impressed if a chick told me she was not on Facebook and didn’t care about it. I’m sure there are quite a few.
Re the larger meaning of off-the grid- if you mean no banks, credit cards, emails, goldbug, Ron Paulite, tin-hat-wearing, NSA-is-out-to-get-me paranoia, then that is the kind of non-conformity that is viewed, rightly, as extremely weird. But it seems that’s not what CH had in mind.
LikeLike
That kind of non conformity can be extremely attractive too. Depends upon the charm of the man in question. CiP: Bond. James Bond.
LikeLike
The (fictitious) guy who worked for the government-? For a spy agency? No tin hat there. Pretty conformist, actually, to a well-known and attractive archetype.
LikeLike
“East? West? Mr. Bond, mere points on a compass. I work for SPECTRE . . .”
LikeLike
So… you expect me to talk?
LikeLike
“Red wine with fish? Well, that should’ve told me something.”
LikeLike
No…I expect you to rape!
LikeLike
PG: “My name is Pussy Galore.”
Bond: “I must be dreaming.”
LikeLike
Contradicts just about everything this site has ever claimed about “alpha.” Should we “peacock” or not?
If you’re talking about obsessive weirdos maniacally and voluminously repeating conspiracy theories, then no duh. Their “non-conformity” has become pathological to the point where they cannot interact with other human beings, also known as autism. Yet, even then, you have defended such men as so omega that they’re almost alpha — sociopathically detached by their obsessions.
For instance, you have elevated perhaps the sterling example of that type (GBFM) to a mascot in the comment section.
So … mixed messages.
Matt
LikeLike
Also some dude from the nsa told me that nsa only has the prerogative to monitor foreign activity and that domestic monitoring has much stricter regulation due to constitutionality. He said domestic monitoring is handled by the fbi and homeland security.
LikeLike
Yeah, he’s not lying or he just doesn’t know the truth.
LikeLike
1) As if it makes a difference which agency is doing the domestic monitoring…
2) Some dude from the NSA told you that? You do realize that he has sworn NOT to tell you the truth under threat of secretive taping sessions of butthexting?
LikeLike
You talk to men from the NSA? I think he was just trying to get into your pants. Lying can accomplish that.
LikeLike
Did he friend you on Facebook first?
LikeLike
So, I work for a research company and one of the products we have involves monitoring all online activity of voluntary paid participants. A man who used to sit across from me was suddenly recruited by the NSA earlier this year to work for them. I know he did the same thing I do except for that he monitored social media networks (for voluntary paid participants).
He said he was recruited out of the blue and was completely not expecting it. I imagine that the NSA evaluated him and vetted him in secret by carefully examining all his personal activity.
I also imagine that the NSA may have actually evaluated me before him. I like to think that they laughed their asses off at the prospect of me being their internet spy.
Imagine. Agent Feministx. Code name: blabbermouth.
LikeLike
Code name: Fundamentally Oral, surely?
LikeLike
If you want.
LikeLike
An offer I can’t refuse.
LikeLike
If they can do it, they will do it. It’s as simple as that.
LikeLike
Well, that settles it. Some guy chatting up some girl and repeating the conventional wisdom that she unsurprisingly has not encountered.
The NSA (and its lapdog “oversight” court) behaving extra-constitutionally is the controversy. It doesn’t matter what their charter says if they are, in reality, getting a secret green-light to gather and store private, domestic information.
Go back to sleep and dream of cotton candy, puppy dogs, and cock. We’ll nudge you gently if we need you. (We won’t need you.)
Matt
LikeLike
Telecoms records of communication events (not the communications themselves) are not private domestic information. You don’t know what you’re talking about.
Andrew C. McCarthy, however, does no what he’s talking about:
http://www.nationalreview.com/article/350799/rand-pauls-heres-crime-act-andrew-c-mccarthy/page/0/1
(Read carefully)
Quote:
[Rand Paul] has responded by introducing an absurd piece of legislation he calls the “Fourth Amendment Restoration Act of 2013.”
Naturally, the bill is unacquainted with the Fourth Amendment — either the one given to us by the Framers or even the one enlarged over time by Supreme Court jurisprudence. I use the word “naturally” advisedly. Senator Paul’s proposed law asserts: “The collection of citizen’s [ACM: I take it he means citizens’] phone records is a violation of the natural rights of every man and woman in the United States.” A citizen’s “natural right” to telephone-usage records that are actually the property of third-party service providers? I wonder what Saint Augustine would have made of that.
Not content to contort natural law, Paul then works his magic on positive law. He alleges that collection of records of telephone activity (but not the content of phone conversations) is somehow “a clear violation of the explicit language of the highest law of the land.”
By “highest law of the land,” Paul is referring to the Constitution’s Fourth Amendment. The senator apparently did not read the Fourth Amendment before cutting and pasting it into his bill. It requires (in relevant part) that “the right of the people to be secure in their persons, houses, papers, and effects, shall not be violated.” Perhaps Senator Paul will edify us on how it is “clear” that a phone record, owned and possessed by a telephone service provider (not the customer), qualifies as the person, house, paper, or effect of the customer, such that the government’s acquisition of it violates the Fourth Amendment. The federal courts have consistently, emphatically rejected this implausible suggestion, holding that government’s collection of phone records does not even implicate the Fourth Amendment, much less violate it.
In last year’s United States v. Jones decision, Justice Scalia explained (not for the first time) that the animating idea behind the original Fourth Amendment is protection of personal property. The Constitution was not deemed to be violated absent some form of government trespass. That is why, under the Fourth Amendment as originally understood, it would be a violation for police, without a valid judicial warrant, to attach a GPS tracker to a person’s car and monitor his movements (the situation in the Jones case). On the other hand, it would not be a violation to wiretap a person’s conversations by physically attaching a monitoring device to the phone company’s line on a public street, without any entry into the person’s home or trespass on his property. (See Olmstead v. United States [1928].)
This changed because the Supreme Court deviated from the original Fourth Amendment’s bright-line focus on the physical person and his property to embrace the vague concept of “reasonable expectation of privacy.” The original Fourth Amendment preserved the proper constitutional order: It instructs us on what the government must protect, while the people’s representatives in Congress are free to enact additional safeguards beyond this irreducible constitutional guarantee. By contrast, were we to rewrite the Fourth Amendment consistent with its modern understanding — assuming the written word means anything when we could evolve again at any moment — it would say: “The right of the people to be secure in whatever expectations of privacy we judges think are reasonable shall not be violated.”
snip
Moreover, it is equally wrong to imply, as Paul’s bill does, that the metadata collection is of a piece with other scandals involving Obama’s abuses of power. As Senator Paul well knows, the IRS scandal, spying on the media, Benghazi, Fast & Furious, etc., involve unilateral executive-branch lawlessness, stonewalling, and/or overreach. In contrast, the ongoing phone-record collection is the lawful, statutory retention component of a program with extensive civil-liberties protections. Significantly, these protections prohibit the government from inspecting the retained records without judicial approval based on a demonstration of reasonable suspicion of terrorist activity.
[I]t would be next to impossible for police to make cases against organized-crime groups, drug cartels, and other large-scale criminal enterprises if they had to have probable cause of crime before they could obtain phone records.
Records of telephone usage are not constitutionally protected under any credible construction of the Fourth Amendment — not the original Fourth Amendment described and applied by the Supreme Court in the aforementioned Jones case, not the Fourth Amendment as enlarged by the “reasonable expectation of privacy” jurisprudence beginning in the mid 20th century. As a result, criminal investigators and grand juries routinely obtain telephone-usage records by issuing subpoenas and applying for “pen registers” — devices applied to phone lines that enable investigators to learn the time, duration, and subscriber numbers involved in telephone calls. This information, coupled with physical surveillance of suspects, is typically how police build probable cause that crimes are being committed. They need to meet that threshold because the Fourth Amendment has always protected a person’s property, and our jurisprudence (along with federal statutes) extends this protection to the content of telephone conversations and other electronic communications. Consequently, to search property or monitor conversations, police must obtain search or eavesdropping warrants.
LikeLike
Dimwit apologist. I saw the McCarthy piece. You could have just provided the link rather than clogging up the place with his irrelevant filler which is all beside the point.
I don’t give a fuck about their casuist reasoning regarding what is actual “spying,” where the line between domestic and foreign is, and whether they winked at the FISA court about what they are or are not storing.
I do not want a gaggle of bureaucrats with all the competence of postal clerks or TSA gropers keeping me safe from my countrymen. I do not want secret oversight. I will take care of my own, and I don’t care if we have a 9/11 every year if that is the price of my liberty. Any war played on defense is a losing war. But pussies are permanently installed in my government making these crucial decisions on my behalf, like you are attempting to do.
And by the way, their ultra-intrusive domestic snooping has never prevented anything. They’re always fighting the last war. We have been taking our fucking shoes off for ten years at airports because one dude once packed a bomb in there. Grandma can’t have a nail clipper and nobody can have toothpaste.
There is a breed of intellectually compliant sheep genetically engineered in the last century to mindlessly tolerate totalitarianism, and you appear to be one of them. McCarthy is a prosecutor, and so like any good litigator, he is narrowly focused on on making the very best case on a very narrow question. Neither of you have anything useful to say about the balance between liberty and security.
The general liberty has no constituency. Meantime “security” is made priority one whenever any child scuffs his knee. “Those who trade security for liberty deserve neither.” That’s why I am draconian about liberty: it’s to make up for saps like you who would whittle away their God-endowed rights to life, liberty, and property for some laughable guarantee of security from a pensioned cubicle apparatchik who looks and thinks like Rachel Jeantel.
Matt
LikeLike
Conservatives deal in facts, jurisprudence and precedent. Leftards produce ignorant, primal-scream screeds like yours. Talk about clogging up the place with his irrelevant filler which is all beside the point.
LikeLike
You mean the facts of TSA-level ignoramuses poring over my private electronic records?
You pathetic lackey.
The best you got is, relax, what could they possibly do to us? And you call these “facts.” What kind of man trusts his liberty to “jurisprudence and precedent”? Answer: the kind of “man” who is frivolous about the foundation of his power, and who quickly loses it. You are like a woman who cannot conceive the importance of personal firepower — ultimately you place your trust in others to vouchsafe your liberty for you.
Have you seen the obese, genetic garbage running their hands in people’s crotches for the TSA?
You don’t stop the rape when all of the circumstances to rape you are complete. You have to stop it, in its tracks, the moment they are fantasizing about violation, or you won’t stop it at all. Understand, NR dupe?
Matt
LikeLike
Oh, Matt, you’re so *rugged*!!
‘What kind of man trusts his liberty to “jurisprudence and precedent”? Answer: the kind of “man” who is frivolous about the foundation of his power, and who quickly loses it.”‘
I was thinking more along the lines of the kind of men like John Adams, Ben Franklin, etc. The Constitution and Bill of Rights were, after all, accepted elements of English Common Law and statute written down.
Anyway, the butthurt is strong with this one, to the point where he imagines things that were not said (e.g., “The best you got is, relax, what could they possibly do to us? And you call these “facts.”), so trying to get him to recognize, much less understand, that he is not even remotely able to demonstrate how “a phone record, owned and possessed by a telephone service provider (not the customer), qualifies as the person, house, paper, or effect of the customer, such that the government’s acquisition of it violates the Fourth Amendment.”
LikeLike
…so trying to get him to recognize, much less understand, that he is not even remotely able to demonstrate how “a phone record, owned and possessed by a telephone service provider (not the customer), qualifies as the person, house, paper, or effect of the customer, such that the government’s acquisition of it violates the Fourth Amendment” just isn’t gonna happen…keep on preening.
LikeLike
… who all pledged their “lives, fortunes, and sacred honor” to make the Declaration, Constitution, and Bill of Rights mean more than thoughts scrawled on parchment.
Those men went to war with the greatest military power of the time over transgressions much smaller than those apologized for by you. George III is all, “Where was ‘Rogue Coolguy’ when I needed him?” at your pusillanimity.
But enough with you and your sophisticated cowardice. I especially can’t take the niggling over obvious but irrelevant details tarted up as a history lesson for those of us speaking to the big picture. I’ve said my piece. Many more will rally to your flag of quisling fecklessness than to my banner. But you will be fighting from your knees.
Matt
LikeLike
Yes, History loves the strong man who can brush aside niggling trivialities like the law and assert his will to power. Let me guess, you’re going to compile these posts into a book, working title _My Struggle_…?
Try not to rope in Kate to play the Geli Raubal role in your little pyschodrama. She’s too innocent.
LikeLike
so trying to get him to recognize, much less understand, that he is not even remotely able to demonstrate how “a phone record, owned and possessed by a telephone service provider (not the customer), qualifies as the person, house, paper, or effect of the customer, such that the government’s acquisition of it violates the Fourth Amendment.”
What are you, fucking kidding? In this electronic age, WHAT is more a “virtual paper” effect of a personal than their phone records?
I was thinking more along the lines of the kind of men like John Adams, Ben Franklin, etc.
You just made Matt’s point for him… he already pointed out their ACTIVE rebellion over much smaller potatoes.
Yes, History loves the strong man who can brush aside niggling trivialities like the law and assert his will to power. Let me guess, you’re going to compile these posts into a book, working title _My Struggle_…?
Try not to rope in Kate to play the Geli Raubal role in your little pyschodrama. She’s too innocent.
Godwin says “point, set, and match” to your opponent…
No extra credit for the astute Geli reference, even if it proves you’re a bit more studied on the man who you attempted to use as a foil… hmmmmm… wonder what that could mean?
(subliminal man whispers “cogdis”)
LikeLike
How many licks does it take to get to the center of an Agitprop?
For fucksake, conceal yourself better. It should take me more than three posts to tease a written confession of perfidy out of you.
The acid test of an ideologue is not in his exposition of the ideology — most true believers are terrible at positive expression — but rather in the declaration of how he perceives the opposition. Hitler is the enemy, I disagree with your party line, therefore I am Hitler. A pure world of perfect inductions.
This is why I side with the white nationalists and antisemites, despite my general liberality and philosemitism. They are simply more aware of their opposition, more aware of the stakes, and more honest about what they’re fighting for. The rest of you slip and slide around your constantly-shifting ignorances, occasionally cobbling together a coherent thought only to contradict it in the next word.
Say what you want about about the tenets of National Socialism, dude, at least it’s an ethos. I can make deals and have stand-up fights with people who know who they are, unlike you prattlers with no understanding of your origins, which you proceed to fabricate rather than study.
All this exchange proves is you have no earthly idea what I’m talking about.
Matt
LikeLike
No, dear.
LikeLike
Ha. At the end of your explanatory power, now you borrow a superior’s language and try to use it like a talisman to ward off the mean opposition bringing contrary thoughts into your purview.
Shape yourself up, will you? You’re not in fighting trim, and it will be an embarrassment to meet you in the arena, and a disaster to count on you as a fellow warrior.
We are not ideologues here. It doesn’t matter if you say all the right things. All that matters is the size of your balls, and events will guide you rightly.
LikeLike
NoOh, dear.!FIFY
LikeLike
Oops, should have said “no, dears”.
Failing that, try:
Edit>Find>Type: Scalia>Enter>Read relevant passage from McCarthy, moving your lips if it is at all helpful.
Bonus points: explain clearly, and coherently (a stretch, I know) how “a phone record, owned and possessed by a telephone service provider (not the customer), qualifies as the person, house, paper, or effect of the customer, such that the government’s acquisition of it violates the Fourth Amendment.”
Double bonus points: explain how anything you think or say, as evidenced on this site, constitutes anything of the slightest consequence such that NSA would give two shits about it.
LikeLike
Bonus points: explain clearly, and coherently (a stretch, I know) how “a phone record, owned and possessed by a telephone service provider (not the customer), qualifies as the person, house, paper, or effect of the customer, such that the government’s acquisition of it violates the Fourth Amendment.”
Are you fucking stupid?
Double bonus points: explain how anything you think or say, as evidenced on this site, constitutes anything of the slightest consequence such that NSA would give two shits about it.
Given that the U.S. Fedgov is run by libtards and neoCons, who generally look upon our sort as swamp mold, I can fully understand why it would not be a good idea to know everything about us.
You fairy.
LikeLike
None so blind…
Just admit when you’re wrong… hell, the first thing the police go for is the perp’s cell phone and they check contacts, call times and persons, etc.
That should tell you something about a person’s “papers and effects”.
Or is that redolence we detected (yet another!) cogdis operative… of which the chateau of late has been lousy?
You ten-tentacled fairy.
LikeLike
Apparently you “gentlemen” (snicker) failed to move your lips with sufficient vigour while attempting to digest this bit: “a phone record, owned and possessed by a telephone service provider (not the customer)”. The cops go for those records precisely because they are not owned by any suspect, and therefore do not require a warrant to access.
Needless to say, you clearly failed to comprehend this portion from my first post:
“Records of telephone usage are not constitutionally protected under any credible construction of the Fourth Amendment — not the original Fourth Amendment described and applied by the Supreme Court in the aforementioned Jones case, not the Fourth Amendment as enlarged by the “reasonable expectation of privacy” jurisprudence beginning in the mid 20th century. As a result, criminal investigators and grand juries routinely obtain telephone-usage records by issuing subpoenas and applying for “pen registers” — devices applied to phone lines that enable investigators to learn the time, duration, and subscriber numbers involved in telephone calls.”
You’re just embarrassing yourselves. Stop it.
LikeLike
As a result, criminal investigators and grand juries routinely obtain telephone-usage records by issuing subpoenas and applying for “pen registers” — devices applied to phone lines that enable investigators to learn the time, duration, and subscriber numbers involved in telephone calls.”
It’s just a mite different for law enforcement getting the info if there’s a subpoena for an actual criminal investigation, versus just collecting the private records willy-nilly. But apparently that fact sails over your pea-sized brain.
You’re just embarrassing yourselves. Stop it.
Speak for yourself.
LikeLike
NSA doesn’t even need that since it is collecting foreign intelligence, not evidence (there’s a difference in law), it is not a law enforcement agency and it does not perform criminal investigations.
Next?
LikeLike
NSA doesn’t even need that since it is collecting foreign intelligence, not evidence (there’s a difference in law), it is not a law enforcement agency and it does not perform criminal investigations.
Next?
Good, that means it doesn’t even have any right to do what it has been doing with Americans’ phone records. What part of the 4th Amendment and “unreasonable searches” don’t you understand?
LikeLike
What part of “Records of telephone usage are not constitutionally protected under any credible construction of the Fourth Amendment — not the original Fourth Amendment described and applied by the Supreme Court in the aforementioned Jones case, not the Fourth Amendment as enlarged by the “reasonable expectation of privacy” jurisprudence beginning in the mid 20th century” don’t you understand?
LikeLike
Thanks, Rogue. Vienna is lovely this time of year.
LikeLike
Slow down, you crazy child.
LikeLike
It’s Berlin that ya gotta worry about…
LikeLike
What part of “Records of telephone usage are not constitutionally protected under any credible construction of the Fourth Amendment — not the original Fourth Amendment described and applied by the Supreme Court in the aforementioned Jones case, not the Fourth Amendment as enlarged by the “reasonable expectation of privacy” jurisprudence beginning in the mid 20th century” don’t you understand?
So, you’re parroting the words of some asshole who doesn’t believe in the right to privacy, and taking his words as gospel truth?
Not only do you have a pea-sized brain, but you don’t even seem to have the ability to use it.
LikeLike
McCarthy cites jurisprudence, precedent, case law and Antonin Scalia. He successfully prosecuted the Blind Sheik. You misquote things that you haven’t read to attack ideas that you don’t understand. You’re an intellectual masturbator.
LikeLike
I don’t really care if the NSA monitoring is a violation of rights and potential danger to private citizens or not. I am looking out for my own interests. If CH gets rid of his FB profile due to privacy concerns, could not this blog be next? That would be a real bummer. Hence, I must pacify CH somehow.
Also, Heartiste, you will be the lamest stupidest dork ever, and no girl will ever like you again if you stop blogging out of privacy concerns. Like never ever. All the girls will stick their tongues out when they see you and say you are an icky stoopidhead if Chateau Heartiste goes away.
LikeLike
Ha. Pacify the citizen to become numb to the violation rather than pacifying the violation itself.
There’s a reason you were made to be bottom. Problem is, we are now governing from the bottom rather than thrust-fucking our will into the world. Thanks 19th Am.!
“I have not called President Xi personally or President Putin personally and the reason is…number one, I shouldn’t have to,” Obama huffed. Seriously, one of these days Putin is not going to be able to maintain diplomatic decorum and will laugh straight into that prostrated dandy faggot’s halfrican face.
While Obama is making calls to homos to cry along with them at the demise of DOMA, Putin is passing fresh anti-sodomy laws because he’s Putin.
And the West is really really sorry for the Crusades, Islam, so please stop bombing us. And if you don’t, well, then we’ll say sorry again!
Obama isn’t even “leading from behind.” His behind is up in the air, begging for domination. And who indemnifies this fairy behavior? The 68% of single women who “voted” for “him.”
Why would they do that? You display the submissive frame of mind perfectly. Your prostration is a beautiful sight to behold, truly. Until we start defining “leadership” by it and thereby destroy politics with it.
Matt
LikeLike
“Better question: Why are you on Facebook telling the world all your secrets?” This one is good.
Facebook is an invasion of privacy in many cases. My Facebook got hacked TWICE, now I am very careful about which friend requests I accept, I have also set my profile to private so I only have about 50 friends and people think that it is weird that I have so few Facebook friends. Oh well.
I think it can even be a good sign if a man doesn’t have facebook. Because he is busy, he doesn’t have time for that stuff.
LikeLike
Which part of the world are you from? I am considering moving from here, and I’d like to be there.
LikeLike
How sweet of you! 🙂 Cyprus
LikeLike
Yeah. Sweet enough to make sweet, sweet… Nevermind.
LikeLike
Best banks in the world!
LikeLike
Are the girls there like you?
LikeLike
Character-wise? Well there are good girls and bad girls everywhere these days. Women are changing and it is not exclusively in the West.
LikeLike
Top bittersweet moment of my life: reading Christina Hendricks saying that, in her opinion, real men aren’t on Facebook.
I coulda had a shot with her. (sigh)
LikeLike
Her: “Why aren’t you on Facebook?”
Me: “I was. I got kicked off.”
Her: “Why did you get kicked off?”
Me: “Racism or misogyny… possibly both.”
LikeLike
A good reminder on how to pass shit tests, but this specific shit test is only temporary..
Facebook is going down. Over the next decade not having a facebook will become more and more accepted.
In ten years, “Why don’t you have a facebook?” will be like asking “Why don’t you have a MySpace?”
LikeLike
Myspace went and FB arrived.
When FB wil be gone… well, take a wild guess what’ll happen.
LikeLike
People will be getting on My Face?
LikeLike
Yes. Of both genders.
LikeLike
I said on it, not in it, mofo.
You fairy.
LikeLike
Oh! Bothered much?
LikeLike
Oh! Bothered much?
Right back at ya.
You fairy.
LikeLike
You’re cool man.
Don’t worry. 😉
LikeLike
The coolest… you shoulda known better. 😉
LikeLike
I said on it, not in it, mofo.
You fairy.
LikeLike
Good one!
LikeLike
Friendface of course…
LikeLike
But… but… what if you are wanted for crimes against humanity?
(picture alphie rubbing his hands and shouting triumphantly: “I KNEW IT!!!”)
LikeLike
I got kicked out for quoting Gandhi too much 😦
LikeLike
The quotes about the khafirs?
LikeLike
It’s simple.Its called projection.
All the girls I’ve met for the 5 years who were reluctant to share their fb page with me-ALL of them,were hiding something.Like a past as a stripper,or some unpleasant relationships thing etc etc.
Its logical that they assume the same.Women lie a lot about themselves.They think men do it too,and there must be a reason.Their little heads can’t comprehend a voluntary dismissal of a social interaction.
LikeLike
I never use facebook. There is next to nothing on my wall. But I hace a profile. We almost all do for some reason or the other. So one wonders why you got rid of it if you don’t have one. I would prefer an explanation of principles and how facebook is passe over a deflection. But im not advising that to others.
LikeLike
Facebook is in fact passé. Once your grandma and the state senator and Coca Cola got on, it inevitably would revert to the mean. Young people adopt the media that is too novel for the older generation to figure out, and once figured out, they go on to a new platform where they can socialize away from the fusty traditions of their elders. More is less when it comes to FB subscriptions.
Besides, there always was a fundamental flaw in the Facebook idea. Making it easy for everyone to broadcast themselves appealed to the narcissist in us. But mass narcissism on a worldwide scale is an ugly thing to behold, and it turns us off en masse.
Twitter is better: limited messaging, the benefits of receiving a pure feed. All of our media will be on a Twitter-like stream in some form in the future. David Gelernter predicted this nearly 20 years ago. (And Twitter didn’t whore itself out to the X Project like every other internet media giant, partly on principle and partly because it is not intrinsically intertwined with the good graces of big government.)
The business model which depends on selling people’s private information is fundamentally flawed. As gullible as people are to fritter away their most valuable asset in the information age — i.e., their identity — a country simply cannot remain free in the panopticon. Those few of us who understand this exchange will save the credulous majority from the excesses of their precipitate enthusiasm, if only as the side effect of preserving our own liberty.
When it came to putting our money where our mouth was, nobody was fooled by the IPO hype. FB is MySpace in five years. Twitter will effectively become the operating system for all media.
That’s why I “don’t have Facebook.” Not that a girl ever really wants the full “explanation of principles.” It suffices for them to know you know better than they, and after that they try to ingratiate themselves into a man’s good graces. If a curt “Because I don’t” or its equivalent doesn’t suffice, he has work to do on his presentation.
I don’t like “why” questions from women in general — mostly because they are complaints or trivial curiosities tarted up into sounding like an inquiry which I must work to answer (and really work to explain to the female mind). Women are not interested in the “why” of things, like men are interested. Men therefore mistake the questions for genuine, when in truth they are really just prompting a man to show his prowess.
“Why are we doing this?” or “Why are things like that?” or “Why do you have to be like this?” or “Why are we going here and not there?” are not questions seeking answers so much as inducements to demonstration. But men are used to providing answers to questions from other men, the kind of responsibility that women simply are not made to handle.
When a child is saying “Why can’t I?” is he genuinely asking for reasons. or is he trying to say, “But I really want to”? Same with a broad. “Why aren’t you on Facebook?” = “Show me that you are greater than the need for FB, or I will assume you are less than normal.” At no point ever arises a requirement to actually explain oneself.
Matt
LikeLike
By “X Project” I mean PRISM, of course.
LikeLike
A chick doing away with her social media profile is not happening! They love that shit like there’s no tomorrow; NSA spying or not ;)!
LikeLike
Ur bitchez b runnin wild yo, feel me?
LikeLike
As Laid NYC said, some great tips on passing shit tests and congruence tests!
LikeLike
As someone who has deactivated their fb 18 months ago. It’s been way better. I hated the feeling id get when my feed was littered with people I could care less about and subconsciously I was measuring my own worth based upon what their FB was displaying (damn you, ego). Having an ex-gf I was trying to get over really made things easier when I shut my FB down.
All of Heartistes response are good. The one I use is a bit dismissive but spiked with a DHV.
“Yeah, I don’t have an FB anymore, too many stalkers.”
I have yet to stack a routine off that but I think it works fine.
Or you could try this (stolen from YaReally)
“add me 2 Facebook!! ❤ <3"
"I don't use FB"
"lol y not?"
"Because I'm not a 12 year old girl."
Btw, yareallyarchive.com is incredible. Nice work Lumpy and many thanks for doing that.
LikeLike
Tks for mentioning Yareally got an archive. Guy has top commentary littered with gems.
LikeLike
Ya, I’m basically using #3 on CH’s list of ridiculing it. But the tone of voice I use is like it’s the stupidest idea in the world to me.
“Why don’t you have Facebook?”
“Because I’m a 30yo fucking MAN.”
The mindset I’m projecting is that it would be gay if I DID use Facebook, a 30+ man checking his Likes and updating his status and tweeting and taking Instagram photos, like THAT’S fucking lame lol. I’m too busy doing shit and accomplishing shit with my life to give a fuck about getting a validation fix off social media etc because I’m secure and confident.
And I project that all just with my tone of voice. So she ends up almost embarrassed that she HAS Facebook lol. “No that’s fine, you’re a young chick, where else are you going to post all your selfies? lol”
The reality is I totally have Facebook lol but I rarely ever use it (once a month I check it out but I don’t post anything ever) and it says I’m in a relationship with my Primary GF and that looks sketchy to new girls. I can let them know I have a GF and it’ll be fine but I do it face to face and there’s a whole conversation and reframe and groundwork to lay down etc…whereas if they snoop my Facebook and see that they just assume the worst.
Also because I’m older, if I’m weak about it and am like “umm no I uhh don’t have Facebook…”, they assume I’m hiding that I have a wife and 3 kids lol. Because guys DO that and girls get duped by it or have friends who’ve been duped by it and then are suspicious. So then I’m working from a value deficit and they might not even TELL me about their suspicions and instead just flake on me.
So that’s why I’m super assertive with how I say it, so it’s like I don’t come across as the kind of guy who would HAVE to hide having a wife and kids. Like I always quote from the Joker: “Nobody panics when things go “according to plan”, even if the plan is horrifying.”
Also I say “I don’t USE Facebook” not “I don’t HAVE Facebook” so technically I’m not lying lol. And if she harps on it I’ll use exaggeration and say stuff like “maybe I SHOULD start using it so I can stay up all night rubbing one out to your pics like a fucking creeper. Now shush, let’s go dance. (pull to dance floor and escalate)”
You actually get a lot of points with the girls who like older men because this all sounds very alpha badass to her. Like Justin Beiber uses twitter because he’s a pussy, Sean Connery’s James Bond isn’t using twitter, the Bad Boy with the leather jacket and motorcycle isn’t using twitter…so it plays into their fantasy of older men.
I told a buddy who’s almost 30 and nervous about his age with girls but has a baby face: “do or do not, pick one or the other and run with it. Either avoid saying your age and lie about it and pretend to be 24 because you can pull that off, or go the other way and own being an older man, grow a little facial scruff and dress older etc…but don’t be wishy-washy in the middle. Pick one and own it.”
LikeLike
“Why don’t you have Facebook?”
“Because I’m a 30yo fucking MAN.”
That’s a great one to use, although in that context I’d probably say “because I’m NOT a f*ckin’ teenage girl.”
I just say that I was bored with mine. The other night I used my lack of a facebook as an excuse to get a girl’s number.
LikeLike
The “stalker” response is solid.
12 year old girl response seem bitter.
“Nah, had too many stalkers on Facebook” My money on that one. I even used it a couple of times
LikeLike
😀 hell yea.
LikeLike
“Facebook is for girls” — my new favorite answer.
LikeLike
I copyrighted that four years ago.
LikeLike
I copyrighted “Just Link Out”.
LikeLike
Always the same response fom me.
“Why aren’t you on Facebook?”
“Because I’m not a teenage girl.
LikeLike
“WUT” {Jeantel Rachel game}
I’m appalled… mortified even.
LikeLike
crazy ass cracker…a li’l git off, get off!
LikeLike
I be a Ritz cracker… what in your fellows’ parlance would have been known as a quality niggah.
LikeLike
Because I am a king among men and have no need for likes and thumb upping to feel validated. Probably a bit long winded and confusing for your average female but you get the idea
LikeLike
Here’s my ideas on this:
Why aren’t you on Facebook?
–Because this girl named Emma who dumped me is on there.
–That’s a good question. Perhaps I should sign up. What do you think? You could be my first friend on it.
–I thought Facebook was just for people under thirty.
–All of my online time is taken up by Reddit. What’s the difference between that and Facebook anyway?
–I don’t have a smartphone either. Are you going to judge me for that too?
–Why aren’t I on Facebook? I don’t know. Isn’t that for douchebags?
–Because I’ve decided to live entirely off the grid. You can read my blog where I write all about how I do it.
–Because I don’t believe in supporting evil, faceless corporations.
–I prefer to interact with people in person. There aren’t enough personal interactions in this society, don’t you think?
LikeLike
Man you must be eating more pussy than cervical cancer.
LikeLike
And gettin’ more azz than a toilet seat.
LikeLike
1) basically tells the girl you haven’t moved on from the break up and can’t even face her on the internet
2) sorta implies you have no friends, and puts her in the superior position (more knowledgable about something you want to be more knowledgable about)
3) could be said with more confidence, like “haven’t you heard? facebook is for people under thirty.”
4) sets you up as a reddit no-life. Even though you say “online time”, it’ll be interpreted as just “time”.
5) Butthurt, why do you assume she is judging you?
6) Kinda shows resentment towards “douchebags”, which usually tells a lot about a person (read: they haven’t swallowed the red pill)
7) heh, make sure the girl grasps irony, and you say it in a way that she knows you don’t actually have a blog (that it’s a joke)
8) maybe if the girl is a fellow activist against “evil, faceless corporations”, otherwise you’ll just sound uneducated (“evil, faceless” is very vague and its something people apply to any big company they dislike/are against)
9) I like this one, potential conversation opener.
LikeLike
Roosh had a pretty good article a while back about how bitches with smartphones and social media accounts are incapable of love. I don’t think that’s entirely true but it certainly makes it a lot harder to hold their attention. Me personally, I just stick to Twitter and always use aliases.
LikeLike
Why guys shouldn’t be on Facebook: Because one day you will leave your computer on and logged in and your roommate will post as you saying that you’re finally coming out and you want everyone to know. You’ll wake up hours later from a night of excessive drinking to find your post was liked by over 200 people and everyone’s commenting on how courageous you are. Ha.
LikeLike
That’s hilarious!!!
LikeLike
“…the inevitable questions and objections when girls ask him about his odd lack of online presence?”
Inevitable, eh? Why not, right?
All the same, a reasonable response to “Why aren’t you on Facebook?” is a chuckle, followed by “Who gives a shit.”
LikeLike
When I was on it everyone always made it about me, and I thought they should mingle.
LikeLike
What’s “Facebook”?
LikeLike
Likewise Elmer. But after all, we’re the same vintage.
LikeLike
Heh interesting you did this. I’ve NEVER had a Facebook, or a Myspace, when that was the thing. Nothing to do with the NSA or whatever. I was always amused how some girls would flat out refuse to talk to me whatsoever (even if I wasn’t trying it on with them) simply because I didn’t have a Facebook. I’ve literally just never been interested in splattering all my info, pics or talking crap about myself everywhere online. I prefer people to just get to know me. I think Facebook and so on puts girls in a position of power, where they can find out all about you first, rather than them having to put the work in to drag out what you’re into etc. Harder to remain mysterious and aloof I suspect when they already know everything too.
LikeLike
I always say its because I had a stalker. good reason + dhv. I of course got that line from the chateau and applied it to Facebook grilling.
LikeLike
Ditched Facebook 2 months ago.
LikeLike
[…] heartiste.wordpress.com […]
LikeLike
There was a summer where I never brought my phone into the bar. Used to get tons of numbers on cocktail napkins. Something about it’s old schoolness would turn chicks on hard. Plus when I would inevitably get grilled for not having a phone, it was the perfect opportunity to use similar lines as the original post.
LikeLike
“There was a summer where I never brought my phone into the bar.”
I recommend this for guys who are having trouble approaching and find themselves trying to procrastinate by “checking their phone” and pretending to txt etc because they’re feeling chickenshit/nervous. Just don’t bring your phone out for a few weekends…you won’t have that crutch to fall back on and it’s basically “shit I have to either approach or stand here like a tool, I guess I’ll approach!”
If you combine leaving your phone at home with going out solo, it’s a double-whammy because now you don’t have a phone to pretend to be txting AND you don’t have friends to spend your night talking to to avoid approaching…so you HAVE to approach.
Try it, if you’re in that stage where you’re going out to the bar but too inside your head to actually cold approach.
LikeLike
(this is a reply to my reply to this, so it’ll make more sense once that passes moderation):
ALSO, if you want a triple whammy that will force you to approach, don’t bring a phone out, go out solo, AND don’t bring any money or cards to the bar. Now you can’t avoid approaching by pretending to txt, or by staying with your social circle all night, OR by drinking…so literally the only thing for you to do at the bar is talk to people. It’s a Viking style burn-the-boats deal, no excuses no retreat. Again, try it if you’re stuck making excuses not to approach and just going out and getting shit-faced wasted with friends every weekend instead of actually productively working on your game.
Two things: 1) be careful if you don’t have a phone, if you get into a sticky/trouble situ you’ll have to be more resourceful to get out of it because you can’t txt for help or for a buddy to pick you up at some girl’s place on the other side of the city in the morning…but that teaches you self-reliance anyway so it’s not a bad thing
and 2) if you do no money no cards, just bring a $20 so you can afford a cab. And if you have to spend that $20, like on a cab to a girl’s place if you leave with a chick, then again you’ll have to be resourceful and learn to be self-reliant and figure out how to frame control her into paying for the cab or giving you a ride home etc lol. I used to chat up fat chicks at 2am for a ride home just because I didn’t bring cab fare out lol
Worst-case, remember: if you leave your cards at home, you can get in a cab and just when you pull up to your place tell him “hey I have to get my credit card from inside, I’ll leave my drivers license with you and be back in 2 minutes with my card to pay”…what’re the cabbies options? He can’t kick you out cause you’re already at your house, and if you were friendly and chatty and funny in the cab ride (so this forces you to be social even with the cabbie), he’ll trust you. Just be respectful about it and even tell him “if I bring my cards out I drink too much and I’m trying to kick the habit…otherwise I’d have an ugly girl in here with me and you’d be like “o man that guy needs to stop drinking” lol”
Consider going out with no phone, no friends, and no money like being dropped in the woods Bear Grylls style with no tools or equipment and nothing but your instincts and your social skills to help you survive the night. You’ll learn a lot about yourself. 🙂
LikeLike
Because it’s an implement of the illuminati designed to contort our souls to the point where they’re unrecognizable and only of any use to the dungeon masters of hell
LikeLike
>>>“Why aren’t you on Facebook?”
“Don’t take this the wrong way, but Zuck’s wife . . . well, I used to f*ck her.”
I don’t understand these technocrati/netizen types, or whatever you want to call them. They’ll be the first to walk around with Google Glass. Bunch of dickheads who jerk off to TechCrunch idiot faux-journalists.
LikeLike
Its weirdly voyeuristic; people will just sit and stare at Facebook for hours, following everything you do. I had an account about 5 years ago and I canceled it after a few months. It was just bizarre. I’m really glad I did because there’s nothing out there now that could hurt me in a job interview or sale.
Women love it because they are narcissistic. They have an innate need for validation, and so even hippos and skanky freaks can get some without having to really put any work into it.
LikeLike
My answer: “Got rid of it.” Why? “Got bored with it. And besides, I have a phone.”
LikeLike
I’m tired of implicating my friends.
LikeLike
‘Why aren’t I on Wastebook?
its complicated
LikeLike
It’s Rachel Jeantel.
LikeLike
Facebook and being on it is not such a strange thing for girls.
But on OK Cupid, I don’t have a photo. When online game girls and they hook, they always ask “Why don’t you have a profile photo.
Me: I’m very famous, so I like to keep a low profile.
Generally that works. It also leads to intrigue and they exchange numbers and i have a photo on my whatsapp.
If they don’t hook, no big loss.
“I”m famous and like to keep a low profile”
They always say “Oh, how famous are you?”
What are you famous for?
etc
Great lines to continue gaming.
LikeLike
Plus it segues perfectly into the Lorenzo Von Matterhorn:
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=The%20Lorenzo%20Von%20Matterhorn
LikeLike
The ONLY reasons I’ve ever heard ANYONE give me when asking “Why?” to “You should get one!” is… “You can keep in touch with your friends”, (have a phone, Skype and a voicebox thanks), and “You can see what everyone is doing and spy on their life for gossip”. (Errr, I have my own life thanks, got better things to do than spend my time spying on others, that I don’t give a shit about whatsoever).
LikeLike
Funny, I deactivated Facebook and Instagram today then got this post. LinkedIn next.
LikeLike
[…] Off The Grid Game […]
LikeLike
Edward Snowden should not listen to his Beta male dad. In recent news stories, the dad is trying to get him to come back to the USA.
Here is his choices:
1). Stay abroad and free and screw all the foreign women he can
2). Come back home, go to prison, and if he ever gets out his “prize” will be American women.
Gee, which is the better choice.
LikeLike
It’s complicated…..
LikeLike
Thread winner.
LikeLike
“It’s complicated” only works for questions about relationships or past girlfriends etc.
“It’s complicated” in response to “Why aren’t you on FB?” sounds weird—like a line not a game-inspired response.
I think many of the posts here offer “tools”…you have to use the right tool in your toolbox.
Yah, sure, you can use a hammer to open a beer bottle, but if you don’t use it right, you’ll break the end off it and it will explode….
I think the same goes with gaming chicks….use the right line or tone in the right circumstance and it works….
Or Pause…
Calibration.
It’s never perfect and takes trial and error.
LikeLike
Q: Why aren’t you on Facebook?
A: Facebook is like using a hammer to open a beer bottle.
LikeLike
@Matthew…perfect, go with that….
LikeLike
This. Fuckin aspies & jockeys cramming round square pegs into round holes and imagining a fantasy world in their head where they’re bosses who could slay pussy if, y’know, they really WANTED to.
Every guy has two delusions: 1) if he HAD to, if the chips were down and he had to protect his loved ones, he could totally win a fight despite never having thrown a punch in his life, and 2) if he wanted to, he could totally pull all those hot “drunk club sluts who will fuck anyone” lol
LikeLike
Minus one of those “rounds” whoops lol
LikeLike
Heartiste: But they are. They are out to get me. And they’re watching. Jealous. Jealous of my rapist wit. I mean my rapier wit. And the final proof that THEY are out to get me? That YOU won’t let us post form OTHER COUNTRIES using a pr0xeez. How can we HIDE, when you are screening?
LikeLike
CH…looking for advice and I believe your the best man for the job.
I’m currently sleeping with a girl who happens to have a very popular/somewhat famous mother, at least in my neck of the woods. My girl is involved in the entertainment industry (in a behind-the-scenes sort of way) so she’s out and about very often attending events, red carpet, you name it.
My profession is slightly more conservative than hers, but I believe that I am Alpha 90% of the time when i’m with her. I dictate the terms of the relationship. She willingly accepts.
Now my problem is, she’s been asking me to go to a bunch of these events with her. It’s not so much of an issue despite me being the more private type, however I’d rather not go and stand around looking jobless, twiddling my thumbs while “she works the room”, so to speak.These events are filled with hot women, so I can always find someone to run game on while she’s away doing all this. But that just make’s it sound simple.These kinda of events have a way of making you feel like fish out of water, and if you are a nobody, you are more likely to be ignored. I just feel like it would take the sheen off my Alpha, no matter how solid it has been so far with her.Celebrities talking down to you while they’re busy flirting with your girl will do that.
So how do I play it? I like the girl, and she’s doing fine so far in terms of what i seek in a LTR. But her professional world and mine don’t really mix. We get along great with each others friends and families (sisters, cousins, not parents, she hasn’t met mine yet), and we have a lot in common. She knows about my player ways as she witnessed me pick up one of her friends before we ever hooked up.
Do I occasionally attend these events and play it cool and chill in the background, flirt with the hottest girl close by, making sure my girl sees this? Or do I avoid going all together except for the major ones where she would need my support and chances of her leaving my side are very tiny?
Your wisdom is very needed.
P.S – You need to do a post on Mr.Big from Sex and the City and Don Draper…Both are alpha and close to realistic
LikeLike
It’s all in your head. You’ll feel judged because you don’t feel like you belong there, and people will judge you because “what you feel, they feel”. They’ll pick up on your insecure vibe their brain goes “huh, I didn’t really have an opinion about this guy either way, he seemed like a nice enough dude and he’s with this high value girl so he must be cool…but he’s giving off the vibe like he’s expecting to be judged, so I guess he must know something I don’t that would make him deserve to be judged, so I guess I’ll judge him.”
Remember: the fact that you’re AT the event means you’re high value, by default. Everyone at a red carpet event is high value there, so it all cancels out and comes down to personality and social skills. The guy who’s a billionaire CEO isn’t looking down on the guy who’s a semi-famous actor and neither of them are looking down on the old married socially connected guy there with his wife…the fact that you got thru the door with a personal invite from your awesome high value date means you are as high value as any of them even if you’re a janitor.
If you don’t want to talk about work, lead the conversation elsewhere. If a chick is like “What do you do?” Just go “Oh god, please, I don’t want to talk about work tonight. Tell me something interesting about yourself that isn’t job related…have you ever (blah)?”
“Oh, I work in the stuffy boring corporate world. I’ve been pushing papers all week watching my soul slowly die and my girl was like “come out to this event with me” so I figured ya, why not I’ve never been to one of these before. Everyone is all done up and friendly, it’s awesome. :)”
If you’re a janitor, be proud and enthusiastic about it if it comes up. And give other people sincere props for their accomplishments/jobs instead of resenting them. Spread value, good emotions, etc. and act as if you expect people to be friendly and they’ll “feel what you feel” and reciprocate.
Again it is 100% in your head. You’re letting the venue/crowd/etc overwhelm and intimidate you, the same way a guy will treat a 10 like she’s a goddess instead of just treating her normal like he’d treat a 6.
I can say all this stuff that sounds like flowery bullshit because I am constantly partying in high-value environments with people who have shit-tons of money, status, minor celebrity fame at times, driving ferraris, individual guys buying rounds of literally 20-50 shots for their group at a time, girls hoping to land a 6-packed rich doctor etc and objectively I COMPLETELY don’t belong there lol. I have no money, car, suit, I literally have one “going out” outfit that I wear all the time (no one notices or cares), can’t afford to drink much etc.
But I can hold my own with the crowd and everyone assumes I’m as high value as the rest of them because I view myself that way and I don’t expect them to judge me.
Sure, some of them are douches who try to tool me, but I just kill them with kindness until they feel dumb for trying to tool such a nice/cool/chill dude and then we’re BFFs. It’s not even in my reality that a guy could tool me and make me feel bad lol that’s insane, why would some random dude have that kind of influence on my mood/state, you know?
The secret to these enviros is that it’s all an illusion. Eeeeeeeveryone there is full of shit and putting up a fake “front” persona/facade to try to impress eachother. Most of those people don’t act that way when they’re like, with their family opening Xmas presents or with their childhood best buddies having a beer and watching a football game. The environment intimidates them, so they try to put on a front to seem like they belong there.
What I do is try to break thru that fakeness right away…usually by either saying something self-depreciating (admitting my own flaws first so they realize “oh it’s okay to be my normal flawed self around this guy he won’t judge me”, so I might say something like “oh ya I’ve never been to one of these things before…I feel so out of place lol my girl loves it but you guys are all a little intimidating to me. I spend my week in the super conservative corporate world, and everyone here is so chill and fun. Is everyone nervous the first time they come to a red carpet event or is it just me? What was your first time like?”) or really offensive where I’m shitting on the notion that we all have to act polite and unnatural (so something like they ask “how’s it going?” “Not bad, aside from being sober. But I’m working on that…a couple more drinks and even the ugly people will be pretty. 😀 I joke about it now, but when I barf on your shoes later as they throw me out for dancing with my shirt off on the tables, I won’t be offended when you pretend not to know me. Hi, my name is YaReally. :)”). Like do you think if I was a janitor, and said these things, that anyone would give a fuck or not laugh or think I’m interesting? Nah, I’m more than my job.
These kinds things break thru the pretentiousness and make the people feel like “oh, this person is like my drinking buddy who’s just himself around me and I can be myself around him, he’s not playing the “who has more value” game…thank god I can relax now!!” It actually builds connections/bonds REALLY fast/deep because its not something these people run into in that environment.
Last tip: call out the environment to people you’re talking to if they seem like cool friendly people warming up to you. Like “you know at first I was pretty intimidated coming here because I’ve never really been in this scene before…I’m more of a pint of beer at the local pub kind of guy and at first I was worried that people here would be kind of pretentious and like everyone is judging eachother……but you know, I’ve found as I’ve been chatting with people that everyone is really pretty cool when you get to know them. There are a couple cheesy people here who’ve let it all go to their heads but I’m finding that we all KNOW exactly which people here are those types lol and the rest of us are just having fun and getting to know eachother…it’s really not as scary as I thought it’d be. Were you nervous the first time you came to a red carpet event like this?” Again it’s that “sharing your own fear so they can relax and share theirs” and also giving them the role of “i think you’re one of the cool friendly people” so they try to live up to that role and be cool/friendly.
Good luck. Learn to work the events, I’m sure they’re fun and you’d meet some cool people…and your girl would love if her date was this badass alpha who, despite not belonging to her “world”, can dominate it and hold his own in it but still be her break from it all when you go home together because you’re a “normal” guy. Like how high-value is THAT shit?
Good luck dude! If you go to an event, post about how it went.
LikeLike
Also don’t go to ALL the events, you’re not her arm-candy ready at her beck n call to be paraded around…but go to one here and there and have fun. If you go to all of her events she’ll take it for granted…go to one a month and it’ll be like “omg!! He’s coming tonight!! Yayyy!!! Hey everyone look its my man, he came out tonight come meet him!!”
Also tell her to just make sure she knows to introduce you when you’re with her and people stop her to talk. ie – she needs to know that the first words out of her mouth are “oh hi, this is my boyfriend Blah, Blah this is Such and Such.” Even if she runs into a blabby type who just starts rattling off about something, she has to know that is her job as your girl to interrupt them and introduce you so you’re a part of the conversation. Even if you don’t say anything and it’s just some business person catching up on something between them, you should be intro’ed so you’re “in” the conversation.
I wouldn’t bring this up seriously/sternly before you go, just toss it out there jokingly like “ya I’ll go, it’ll be fun. And I know you’ll have to run around and do your thing, and that’s cool, you know I can hold my own…just make sure you introduce me to the people we talk to so I’m not stuck being the random guy nobody realizes is actually your date and not just your hired man-candy for the night 😉 lol”
Then if you go and she doesn’t introduce you and you DO get stuck being the 3rd wheel to group conversations, you can lay down the law stricter afterward or before the next event etc and be more authoritative about what behavior you expect from her if she wants you to go to another event…but don’t do that unless you have to and don’t do it beforehand or it’s butthurt and insecure.
LikeLike
Think Peter Sellers in “Being there”. Who was he? A low grade moron gardner of a rich man. Did anyone judge him that way? Not that didn’t know him. They simply saw someone that was comfortable with theirself at a major event. Everyone assumed he belonged and was a major player because of who he was with. If you are confident you already have all the important questions taken care of since you were invited. You already measure up on the surface, and that is all they see at first.
LikeLike
She’s out of your league and will write a dear Judy letter about it while she’s ur fiancé. Hyper gamy. U new?
LikeLike
Guys think they can game girls without ever learning how to game men.
The answer is, befriend the celebrity. Work the room. If you “feel like a fish out of water” and think “you are a nobody,” you’ve already intimidated yourself right out of the game. Are you indeed “a nobody”? I can’t even imagine saying that about myself, even in an environment of self-congratulating “somebodies” who are “somebody” only in one specific, highly artificial context. If you’re “a fish out of water,” evolve yourself some lungs already and keep moving forward.
In fact, a celebrity “busy flirting with your girl” is the true fish out of water: Here he is disarmed of his great advantage and is descending to your non-famous level. Your allowing yourself to be intimidated is what allows him to continue “talking down” to you despite your now-equal perch. All while missing the opportunity to demonstrate yourself his superior once all of the celebrity is stripped away. If you dominate this dude in a private context, you put all of his fame to work for you. The next time your girl sees him on TV or wherever, she will tingle to remember how you handled him: he’s the guy, but I got the guy who put the guy in his place.
And this is a friendly competition. It’s dumb not to acknowledge his advantage, and it’s suicidal to be bitter about it. If he gets bitter, he loses. If your admiration curdles into envy, you lose. Celebs may want to flirt with your chick, sure, but they want to talk about themselves more. Interview them.
Bottom line: this is a war between the sexes. Even the most degenerate pussy addict wants brotherhood. Ally yourself with the celeb against your girl. Boys vs. girls, gang up on her. They want to play that game, so do you, so does he, and the women want to lose. Be the NCO leading your squad to battle against their pussy posse. Even celebrities want to be part of that. But a mentality of intimidation and scarcity makes men snatch whatever crust of bread they can find under the table.
Meantime, women instinctively align themselves in defensive postures (go out with mother hens, cockblockers, bitch shields, phone shields, ASD, letting their appearance do all the passive attraction work for them) while men have to develop group offensive strategies (hello, wingmen) that often require selflessness, or else it degenerates into internecine backstabbing. This is why game is the linchpin of the “manosphere,” why pick-up is vital to the success of the renaissance of men. Only by building tactics with other men do we have a chance to re-dominate the weaker sex, who have built a nearly impregnable (heh) bunker over the last century.
Then again, I’m sure none of this is useful or practical to the fellows who want a silver bullet rather than to develop personality and general leadership skills. Protip: just talk to celebrities like Mike Rowe talks to sewer workers, or anyone else with a fascinating job. They are not used to that. They are used to starstruck people like you who do all the DLV work for them: OMG, the sheen is off my alpha! This dude had a speaking part on “Law and Order: Criminal Intent”!
Matt
LikeLike
your facebook is useless unless its a dhv. Its astonishing how many guys i see writing status updates like “who wants to chill?” “So bored right now” or taking self shots with their phone. You might as well hold a neon CELIBATE sign over your head. It can grease the wheels, and has been a boon for me. Got my music (i write it) up there and good pics. Never post status updates, and comment irregularly and infrequently on other peoples stuff if youre inclined to. But never like or comment on a girls photos, No matter how witty or clever you think you are, the mere act of engaging a girl on facebook by liking or commenting throws you into chump orbiter status.
fb chat can be useful after having built attraction/rapport.,..ive gotten lays like this ala krauser. ive found the medium prompts women to invest more…probably because the format encourages longer sentences.
LikeLike
‘your facebook is useless’
You could have stopped there.
There is no way to DHV with it. Remember that chicks are using it (at least in their mind) to DHV and they will not buy anything that you are selling on it. Instead they will assume it is an effort to get validation in a ways as desperate and vapid as theirs is. All they will do is relentlessly game the interaction in order to groom you into becoming a beta orbiter.
It is all very well to kid ourselves that we are merely building on existing attraction but you will also run the risk of wasting time and being hopelessly tooled in the process.
LikeLike
You can DHV with, you just need not to do it like chicks do (fake status updates, and compliment fishing).
During your holidays somebody took a picture of you having fun on a waverunner? Post it. You have a picture of you on your motorcycle, post it.
You play piano like a god? Post a video. You’re a racing driver? Make someone take a few pictures of you racing, or on the podium if you can. Etc.
They won’t buy fake written status, since they write them all the time. But anything you’re good at, or that shows a good lifestyle will work, so take pictures.
LikeLike
Do you see what you are doing here?
All of these DHV things can be shown/discussed with her on as date as a hamster spin inducing prelude to putting your cock in her pussy. The more pics/info you put up (even if you think it DHVs) then the more ‘reason’ she has to use FB to research in her safe little world of value filtering. Its a bit like flipping a coin, winning and then deciding to give her the home field advantage.
Remember what the great David Hume told us…
“The rules of morality, therefore, are not conclusions of our reason.”
…now he understood how it works! No one is going to ‘reason’ a chick into bed by DHVing on FB.
The point about FB/social media is that it is overwhelming them with the perception of choice. And when this happens they cant make a ‘buying’ decision.
Help them. Help them to help you to help them. Don’t give them the choice. No FB, no value filtering, no endless chats, no ‘long game’ bullshit. It’s number…date…DHV…hamster….sex. We are doing them a favour because if we don’t do these things, they might not get laid so much.
LikeLike
One of my buddies has 300+ pics up, of him doing all sorts of cool adventurous social shit.
The catch? All but two of those pics are posted by OTHER people who’ve just tagged him in them with comments about him attached (jokes/burns from his buddies, flirting from girls, occasionally he’ll leave a comment teasing a girl or being self-depreciating)…the only two pics HE’S put up is a pic of himself as a baby and a pic of him making an ugly face.
THAT’S how to be high value on FB lol
LikeLike
Also another buddy’s FB is alllllll pics of him with hot girls. Like shitloads and he’s always posed with the girls groping him and having fun with him and basically making him look awesome. And he’s an ugly guy lol. But he’s fun and his FB Wall is allllll chicks demanding they have lunch together or party together or “miss you babe xoxo” or his buddies making partying plans for the weekend excited for him to come out or him teasing girls who respond to his status updates etc.
Massively high value FB profile when girls who meet him see it. He purposely goes for the FB contact instead of getting a # because he knows his FB makes chicks intrigued and impressed.
The key in both this guy and the 300+ pic guy is that in both cases it’s OTHER people raising their value, not THEM. In theory if you were a lame boring guy and wanted to recreate this value you could make a bunch of fake FB accounts and post on your own Wall pretending to be hot girls and shit but 1) that is so retardedly gay and sad that I would kick you in the nuts for doing it, and 2) you should be striving to become the kind of guy where that IS how your social life is…so go out and approach and socialize and apply game and make friends and flirt with girls until you ARE like these guys. Then your FB will get you laid but you could delete it and still get laid.
LikeLike
@Cad and Bounder : You’re thinking on a larger scale than me, and you’re right, if every guy stopped providing information on facebook it would be better for everyone. But selfishly thinking about only myself, I don’t really see how it can be counter-productive, and you didn’t really explain it either.
@YaReally : +1, that’s the best kind of DHV.
LikeLike
Facebook and the other crap is for the lower classes.
LikeLike
Some game analysis on bieber?
LikeLike
Girls like Justin Beiber because they’re told he’s the thing they should like right now. Same reason they all liked the Hunger Games last year, or Twilight, or the Backstreet Boys, or the Beatles. It has nothing to do with anything Beiber *does*.
LikeLike
Yes.
Media does an amazing job at high jacking the female “follow the herd or die alone in the wilderness” instinct.
You could take any reddit-beta-bitch-tits-swpl-mangina, put him on stage, show women screaming at him, put some BS articles in the tabloids acting like he is a big deal, etc… and women would be creaming their jeans.
LikeLike
As gay as that was (whatever, I laughed lol), there’s something to take away from that clip:
If you are high value to a girl you can get away with anything. She will rationalize away any of your flaws and even turn them into assets in her mind, if you’re high-value/attractive to her. Your ugly face becomes “his face has character”. Your tiny penis becomes “I’m so glad it doesn’t hit my cervix and hurt!” Your shitty non-paying art job becomes “he’s such a passionate artist who doesn’t chase the corporate rat race like those lame iBanker guys!” Your iBanker job becomes “he’s so focused and driven in life! Not like those bums who don’t value hard work.” Your ugly-ass tattoo Kimmel shows girls on the street becomes “creative” etc.
Tyler makes a good point in this vid that if a girl is attracted to you, she doesn’t WANT to see you as flawed…it’s in her best interest sub-consciously to highlight your good aspects and rationalize away your flaws so she can get off when you fuck her and she can rationalize being attracted to you lol. If you fuck a fatty you don’t think about her sweaty fat rolls, you think about “oh she’s good at giving head and she has a nice face”.
If she breaks up with you then ya now you’re a jobless bum to her who’s ugly with a tiny penis and she’ll say she hated all those things but that’s just because she isn’t attracted anymore.
Also there’s in-field of him pulling a girl in the first 2 min of this vid lol:
In one of his oldest seminars Tyler says something like: “I can call a girl at 3 in the morning and she won’t be mad at me. Why? It just comes down to higher value. If Angelina Jolie (or whatever celebrity you love) woke you up with a phone call at 3am are you going to be like “pffft!! That’s it Angelina Jolie, we’re through!!” No. Because she has higher value.”
None of your insecurities actually matter. It’s all in your head.
LikeLike
say you don’t want to talk to your exes, and if they say what about friends/family, say gay. cuz it is gay.
LikeLike
did that shit work? fuck the internet. i said to tell them you don’t want to talk to your exes. if they ask about friends/family, say gay.
LikeLike
This
LikeLike
and
LikeLike
Never had a profile on any social media. Life experience has brutally taught that having more info on others than they have on you confers advantage – but the pressure from women I’ve dated to join FB has been immense. Responses such as the second suggested in the post have worked best for me. Generally when a woman poses the why aren’t you on FB question, from her point of view you’re on the defensive and your best bet is to turn that dynamic around immediately. I’ve tried the joking responses but I’ve found they’ll just return to the question later and won’t let it go.
I am a bit fascinated by the whole thing though. If the government had required us to upload the same info people willingly upload to FB every day, there would be open rebellion and rightfully so. However, just make it the ‘cool’ thing to do and very few have any qualms about sharing their personal business with the world.
“It has privacy settings!” When I hear that naive rebuttal I change the subject if the convo has been going well so far and I don’t want to spoil the mood. The second most common response is something along the lines of saying I’ve somehow checked out of society …wow. As a person who actually did do that for many years, I can attest that sitting in front of the computer for hours is exactly how you accomplish it – not the other way around. Maintaining a convo face-to-face is extremely difficult if your social interaction has been limited for years to chat boxes and an Xbox headset. I’m still fighting that battle.
I’m surprised so many in this thread aren’t on social media. We’re a tiny band of refugees here, better not let the establishment discover we’ve gathered in one spot.
LikeLike
Facebook is a good servant but a terrible master. I can use it for hooking up with HS classmates when they’re in town, keeping up to date with my siblings(and nieces/nephews), get reminders of meetups of my local spelunking group, et cetera.
I’m not going to get rid of it out of some paranoid notion that an NSA agent really wants to look at pictures of me fishing or whatever. But I definitely use it in moderation so it doesn’t become an alternative to face-to-face contact.
LikeLike
Facebook is gay.
LikeLike
I am totally confused. I just searched to try and find out about this NSA leak thing, breach of privacy or whatever with Facebook. But I don’t understand the problem? They say people in high places can access your information on Facebook, but why would it be a concern? Facebook is already used for sharing information about yourself anyway. What incriminating evidence would they find on one’s FB account, dirty messages maybe at worst(why would they be interested), or photographs. But anyway if NSA requested this information, wouldn’t Facebook have to give it anyway?
LikeLike
It isn’t government monitoring of Facebook that’s really got people upset: it’s warrantless interception and (presumably) monitoring of emails and phone calls. Not foreign, US citizens.
Apparently none of the genius Constitutional scholars in the Obama admin. have bothered to read the Fourth Amendment, or maybe they’ve just decided to give a big “fuck you” to the whole concept of the rights of a free people.
LikeLike
Currently, you are nobody of interest to anybody in power. However, you have no guarantee that you won’t ever find yourself in a situation where you become newsworthy, and all sorts of people are digging into your life. Ask Joe the Plumber. Ask George Zimmerman.
When posting info under your real identity, never put anything out there that you would not want under hostile scrutiny on CNN some day.
LikeLike
I would add: Facebook contains the single most important thing about you that any investigator or reporter would want, should you ever in the future find yourself under hostile scrutiny: who your friends are. It gives them the list of people they can go to in order to find dirt about you.
LikeLike
It wasn’t just Facebook that signed onto this scheme, though, as I understand it. It was ALL the major Internet companies (Apple apparently held out until Steve Jobs died). That means the government has access to you search history, emails, comments on blogs, and on and on. It’s safe to assume that if you’ve done it online, unless you took precautions at the hardware level (because I doubt a VPN is going to stop the NSA) the government has it and can link it to you.
The potential for abuse is vast. Yes, it’s very likely that nobody’s bothered to look at YOU personally – yet. The problem with all of this is the data mining potential in it; essentially, every single person in this country is now completely transparent to the government, at the government’s whim. Along with their families, their businesses, their careers, their enthusiasm for the Second Amendment, who they voted for (or likely voted for) in the last election… I’m not saying that they’re going to start rounding people up in the middle of the night (although something like this would make that a LOT easier), but it allows the side that holds the information to manipulate, influence, target, and blackmail the rest of us at their leisure.
And I do believe your home computer can be searched…if there’s a warrant. This thing didn’t target criminals. It was aimed at everybody, and even if the intentions were good, as long as that data exists, it’s exploitable.
LikeLike
Wow that sounds bad. So people have to be really careful what they do online I guess…
LikeLike
It’s a shame, I just started blogging but now I am having 2nd thoughts.. I’m starting to distrust the internet.
LikeLike
Related,
I heard on PBS news hour – which is definitely not a right leaning news source – that the IRS investigated over 300 right wing groups yet it only investigated 6 left wing groups
Obviously the political right is the main target of this spying being done by the IRS, the NSA and probably half a dozen other agencies
The left is the establishment now, they control almost everything, who will stop them from spying on those who disagree with them?
LikeLike
smh
LikeLike
Hey Matthew I click your name to get to your blog but is just going to Yahoo. ??
LikeLike
if you have a blog..I don’t know, maybe it’s a problem with my computer taking me to Yahoo
LikeLike
Minus the ‘http://’ (added automatically by WordPest) and you get my e-mail address. I don’t Facebook and I don’t blog. But I do maintain an e-mail account for conversations best kept private, and for when I move on from here, and for nudes.
Don’t imagine that having a private conversation with me makes you an automatic member of my e-harem. I don’t have an e-harem! It’s more like a Virtual Classroom at an all-girl’s school, with good students and bad students and (deliberately) incorrigible students. There’s always a desk open for a curious girl who looks like you. E-mail is the equivalent of the professor’s office hours. Strict teacher-student confidentiality.
Matt
LikeLike
No..it’s really just yahoo.com
LikeLike
There’s always a desk open for a curious girl who looks like you. E-mail is the equivalent of the professor’s office hours. Strict teacher-student confidentiality.
LOL..you are funny. I can’t figure it out anyway.. I know everybody on here seems to think I’m a little slow but actually I was clever in the school, it’s just those who post here seem freakishly-smart..in a good way.
LikeLike
Embracing, I think most of the guys here like to make all sorts of little digs at attractive women. Some will assume you don’t know that much just because you are unfamiliar to them an not an insider to this online-pua blog world.
Matt K is clearly very bright, but he condescends towards pretty much anyone, male or female, in almost every post. It is just how he interacts with the world. So, don’t take it personally or see yourself as not that bright because that is not true. For one thing, you write really well in your second language (English), so you must have a lot of verbal aptitude. And you are open minded and definitely able to reason through new information well.
LikeLike
“Don’t imagine that having a private conversation with me makes you an automatic member of my e-harem. I don’t have an e-harem! It’s more like a Virtual Classroom at an all-girl’s school, with good students and bad students and (deliberately) incorrigible students. There’s always a desk open for a curious girl who looks like you. E-mail is the equivalent of the professor’s office hours. Strict teacher-student confidentiality.”
I want clarification. Are you looking to conduct cyber sex with attractive girls? Do you ever make arrangements to meet in person?
it sounds like you are looking to entice female students for 50-shades like action……
LikeLike
Ha. Attractive girls don’t “cyber sex,” and neither do I.
I told you, I run a MOOC.
All the single ladies
All the single ladies
All the single ladies
All the single ladies.
Got me tighter in my Dereon jeans
Acting up, drink in my cup
I can care less what you think
I need no permission, did I mention
Don’t pay him no attention
Cuz you had your turn, and now you gonna learn
What it really feels like to miss me
Cuz if you liked it, then you should have put a ring on it
If you liked it, then you shoulda put a ring on it
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh
LikeLike
“Ha. Attractive girls don’t “cyber sex,” and neither do I.”
well, that’s what you lead us to believe. You said: “There’s always a desk open for a curious girl who looks like you,” which implies you want to conduct conversations with girls you think are attractive.
Then you said: “I do maintain an e-mail account for conversations best kept private, and for when I move on from here, and for nudes.”
Not trying to put you on the spot but it does imply you want to conduct private conversation of a sexual nature. So I’m just going by what you said.
Anyway, I’m somewhat curious because i would like to email you but I want to know the nature of such interaction. I’m an incorrigible student (a shrew) and i wonder if you could reform me. I might need a strong male guidance.
LikeLike
The link on his name points to a bogus URL, but if you inspect that URL, you can figure out his email address.
LikeLike
I’m surprised at how many have trouble figuring this out, though I shouldn’t be, considering how plonkingly single-entendre our shitty feminist culture is.
LikeLike
I can only conclude that you’re not a techie. I can forgive, but not forget, your abuse of the URL field to express your email.
LikeLike
I usually go with “because I don’t give a shit about what people are up to” or “I prefer real life friends.”
LikeLike
Her: “Why aren’t you on Facebook?”
Me: “crazy stalker x girlfriends”
LikeLike
I once went on a date recently with a chick that asked for FB. I told her I’m far too busy to bother with it.
She then tried Instagram ‘it’s really cool because you can have all these privacy settings’ (an insight into her mentality). I told her no.
She then asked me if I used twitter. I said no and later realised that what she really wanted was for me to join her twitter feed.
She then mentioned an affectionate neg’ing and framing nickname that I had given it. Let’s say it was something like mad chipmunk. She then showed me a transcript with a conversation with a beta orbiter who she had told that I had called her this. He had replied that it was a good nickname and he would use it too. At which point I was losing the will to live let alone continue the date.
Throughout all of this, in the back of my mind I had the warm comforting thought that there is always Whatsapp. Whatsapp is my friend. It’s the only social networking tool that helps me. The only thing you can do with it is swap individual pics and message. And that’s it. Get a girl’s number and you can message and DHV without all the FB social proofing and validation bullshit. You can even game a chick by sending message to your friends late at night so she thinks you are out (she can see the last time you were on) with another chick.
And then my blood runs cold and this has nothing to do with the J.Geils band. I remembered that, for some reason, I cant see the times when this girl is last on Whatsapp and nor do my messages get to her quickly. Then I realised that the vacuous tart had found a way to game it. Either she turns the Whatsapp sync off with the phone or just blocks me and/or everyone else until she wants to answer messages. I’m not making this up.
This FB thing is really becoming an issue because I am finding some chicks have it in their head that they simply will not converse with someone who isn’t on it. One way around it is just to say that you only use Google+. They wont join it because its much less female validation friendly and I would advise all men to use it.
LikeLike
Naive girls who’ve never had a problem with a guy would date someone who was “off the grid”, but once a chick has had a taste of crazy, she wants to see your social circle. So if you’re not online anywhere, or your online presence looks too vague, you need to have a real life social network.
We do talk about our experiences with guys, and Facebook logs are forwarded without editing. If you do some dirt there, it is there unless you both delete it, and can be quickly sent to any number of people.
Facebook admin also keeps records and can take out multiple profiles of a problem user all at once.
LikeLike
MySpace changed their format and I can’t get on anymore. How many customers are you going to have if people can’t get on. Well, since nobody else was on there, there was no point in it.
LikeLike
I’ve been using this simple reason for years now and it makes girls quiver:
I had a stalker and deleted it.
LikeLike
FB is the ultimate beta orbiter. He’s awake 24/7, but never bothers her with too much attention. Hit fits in her purse. She is in complete control. He asks for nothing except for things that validate her importance/awesomeness/desirability. He speaks to the world on her behalf. He cock-blocks when she wants him to, plays wing-man when she wants him to, “protects” her via faux privacy and manipulative tactics when she lacks the character to do those things herself. And he’s FREE!!! He’s sooooo nice. And convenient. And reliable.
But alas, she’s just not that into him. She only uses him for…….
Which is why FB is gay. The rest of those “social” (redundant) media platforms are just distillations of the same elixir. I’ve never had it, never will. I see that it can be useful in a shallow, strategic sense, but the other downsides and overall diminishing returns never appealed to me.
Sure, it can chap the young lasses that I don’t exist in their little ego-land. But so what. If I’m 10-15 years their senior, we are rarely on much common ground anyhow. Mostly because they are almost always just vacant vessels of consumption and self-absorption and I am a full-grown man will brass balls that I earned the hard way (in no small part to purely having to deal with these women through all of their “self-exploratory” phases that pass for growing up in this country) and I have little time for such trivial things.
Soon enough those same girls will be bragging how they “barely ever” used it, “never” used it, “just used it for pictures” etc. I think the tide is already shifting that way, but those tech pricks and marketing bitches are pretty good at creating the need for the next generation of this nonsense. What a bore.
LikeLike
Roosh has a pretty good spin on this in many things he writes.
Here are 2 mildly similar ideas on this post: “being evasive and shady builds attraction”
http://www.rooshv.com/getting-laid-while-unemployed-and-living-in-your-dads-basement
http://www.rooshv.com/how-to-tell-a-girl-what-you-do
LikeLike
off topic, slightly. feedback would be appreciated:
Met the girl first time in a bar. Friend of my friends ex. solid 9. Talked a while, left for after a while. Thought to see her again / would contact her through my friend. Later that evening, she walked past, going home. I first decided not to do anything, but then I thought “lets train recovering from a mistake” and ran after her, which obviously is the mistake.
me: stop, you ain’t going to be let to go that easy
HB: what?
me: no HB can walk around for here without me really talking to them
HB: hah ok.
she was going home, so I was asking where is that so on so on. question mode.
at the end (maybe 5 mins altogether) I went for the number
me: gimme your number
HB: no, I do not give my number to anybody its a rule.
me: you joking?
HB: no, one person would be very angry if I would give it
me: I thought you said you are single?
HB: I am
me: who is it then? your mom? *smirk*
HB: no, I just do not give out my number
me: what are you doing here then? (fucked this up, wanted to be more negative: “how do you get lotsa cockas then”, thanks GBFM)
HB: well.. (I stopped her here)
me: look, whats the meaning of life?
HB: so its either phone number or meaning of life?
me: yes
HB: well.. its to have fun
me: so now, how you going to have fun if you have rules like that
HB: …..
me: ok. I’ll tell you this: if you give me any way of communicating, you will be love yourself of doing that 3 years from now. because you cannot, and I mean cannot, find better guy with better life CV than me. (I am not sure of this part)
HB: you have pretty high self-confidence
me: how can _I_not_ have? (really asking here)
HB: hmm.. thats true.
HB: ok, (my friends name) knows my name and details, you can contact me in fb
and she walked off. I said nothing, took 3secs and walked in different direction. Out of corner of my eye, I see her glancing quickly in my direction for a last time, from approx. 15m away.
I felt the end of this conversation was quite weird. What do people here think about it? how’bout the whole thing? not my best set, but reasonable imho.
anyways, no this thing might go to texting / messages. I really suck at that, while I think my “talk” is little bit better. Need to work on it.
LikeLike
She was trying to get rid of you. You came across as too interested/try hard and might have creeped her out a little bit. Being too forward without first building rapport is not good. Read the CH archives for ignoring female beauty. Would you have chased after her if she was fat? disfigured?
Anyway, just my two cents…
LikeLike
you might be right. Like said, I put myself on purpose in that situation. I do not live where this happened, even though I visit quite a lot, so it was either try to learn something / just let it be. I like learning. I am not at the level where I can recover from one mistake. But then again, that is fucking hard: you can lose 15 mins of good stuff in 1 second…
What you read above is a translation btw, I actually did not compliment her looks, it was more in the “no interesting future ex of mine walks through from here without talking to me”.
LikeLike
You actually did okay. You were congruent and confident and plowed thru her silly rule. At first you were too logical (“change her mood, not her mind”) but the meaning of life stuff switched gears in a good way.
End result is she bent her rule for you, technically, by giving you the okay to grab her contact info from her friend, but she’s still trying to put you in the “you chasing her” frame with FB.
From here what I would do is not contact her at all and just talk to her in person next time you see her whether its this trip or your next visit, and be awesome around her and act normal and flirty and if she asks why you never facebooked her say you don’t use it or you don’t want to spend all your free time Like-ing her pics and jacking off to them, so this time gimme your number dummy lol.
Realistically, you’re probably not going to gain much ground if you add her to FB. Like what are you going to do, add her and ask her to dinner? She’ll just add you to her list of orbiters that all beg for a few minutes of her time. You have more important shit to do, and other girls to talk to who don’t make it so much work. You’re not likely to bang her via FB…MAAAAAYBE if you were SUPER aggressive about it but she’s not going to check her FB messages when she’s horny and attracted to you, she’s going to do it when she’s taking a shit and tired and probably not going to be into it lol
To seal it, the next time you see her, even if it’s weeks from now on your next visit, after you’ve built some attraction back up so she’s in a good mood and into you, I would build some comfort with a speech I use a lot that goes something like “look, I know you have rules about giving out your number, and that’s cool I respect that. It means you’re not just a random drunk bar star chick that hands her number out to any guy who asks…you actually have standards on who you spend your time on. I get it because I’m the same way…I know I seem like just a flirt, but I’m picky about which girls I spend time on, and I can tell that you’re worth my time. Now you don’t have to give me your number, but don’t think that means I’ll give up. ;)” and then go back to just being normal and fun and flirty with her…usually this move results in her actively giving you her number, like on her way out going “here.” and slipping it to you on a napkin or whatever and walking off before you can react because she hates to admit that you’ve “won” lol
It’s like a ballsy little speech that shows persistence but also that you respect her shit but also that you’re completely self-aware of the dynamics going on and who she is as a person and demonstrating that you’re both higher value than the rest of the people who just get drunk and bang eachother with no self-standards.
Anyway, don’t know if this makes sense I’m tired as fuck but hope you get the jist and it works out. I would put her on the slow track in my mind and literally be telling myself that I’m NOT going to get to fuck her this visit, that it’ll be next visit or the one after that etc. and focus on other girls in the meantime.
LikeLike
Thanks YaReally, good stuff!
This was hard one, because she is from my hometown, but both of us live in different cities (I am actually in different country). I am have not been regular enough in my hometown for doing it right way (waiting until seeing next time and going to work again). I have been mostly getting the number -> msg -> seeing again next time I am home -> friends with benefits.
Problem for me is to get this done with good friend-with-benefits (or even gf) material. It works for girls who are amazed of me (good career, low fat, lots of stories, not-that-bad-game). However, when I go to high caliber girls (I do not mean only looks here), I cannot close the deal. I am more into these posh-girls (rich who are little bit cunty). This exact girl was one of them.
As I am not going to see this one again without set meeting, I am probably going to do some messaging along the lines of “most people are static nowdays, and normal is too big of a word. when I was talking to you the very first time, I though that you would be something else. however, after the second talk I had to change my mind. I need passion in my life, and asking me to give it up will be too much. But you seemed to be rather nice person otherwise, and it is always nice to have new friends” or something like that. Too many words though in that one…
LikeLike
Yep. All depends on the whim of whether she’s in a good “mood”
LikeLike
“because you cannot, and I mean cannot, find better guy with better life CV than me. (I am not sure of this part)”
Please no. Not that. If I had a game blog, I would do a whole post on the ineffectiveness line because I have heard it from dozens of guys in my life. Sometimes it is meant as I as an individual cannot find a better guy. Usually it is meant as no better guy than them exists or that they do not know of a better guy.
1) This is just stupid. I get that you are supposed to show confidence, but the I am the best guy ever line is so lame.
2) Whenever I hear it, I start evaluating it. Like let’s look at this guys flaws extra hard and see how true this statement is. And I start comparing you to the other 20 guys that told me the same line.
I hear different variants- One guy said, “I don’t know of any guy that has a better combination of attributes attractive to women than me.” Another said, “you pretty much cannot find a better guy than me.”
If a chick is a 9, she’s heard that junk more than I have. Plus, if she is a 9, she will probably get hit on by professional athletes and the like from time to time. So, you are probably wrong. That chick can get someone of at least your caliber pretty easily, and she knows it.
You have to find some other way of expressing self confidence instead of that.
LikeLike
Being a braggart is try-hard. An actual awesome guy doesn’t have to talk about how awesome he is to convince her.
LikeLike
What if I sure that she agrees with me after that evaluation?
LikeLike
Look, if it’s so dear to you, keep “I am best guy ever” game. See what it does for you.
Personally, when I hear it, I do agree with it because 9/10 times, I hear it right after I rejected a dude’s advances. It’s an ego defense mechanism at work that generically arises when you reject a dude with high confidence. Look, I’ve this conversation a lot of times, and I’m sure a 9 has had it more times than I. It’s like this-
Me: no, I don’t want to get dinner.
Rejected Dude: You’re making a mistake because I am the best guy ever.
Me: (seeing ego repair going on), I see what you’re saying. (bold faced lie)
Rejected dude: Yeah, so we’re getting dinner on Friday.
Me: Sure.
Then I flake. That’s because I don’t have the fortitude of that 9 who could reject your advances 10 times repeatedly. Either way, the girl is not interested and what that chick did is as much as a chick can do to reject you if you were kind of in her social circle. If you were a total stranger, she could probably muster up more bite.
LikeLike
Femx. Wow. Actually decent advice. You should be this person more often.
@Timo – gotta stop validating yourself mate
LikeLike
nah, I do not give a fuck about what I like or not, I care if it works or not. Like said in the first post, I was not sure would that work. Decent advice, thanks for that. I understand your post, but I did not say it because of butthurtness.
My question was actually quite honest though. But I believe it relies too much in logic. Even if I would be the best guy in that current timezone, it does not change a thing. See, I learned something here.
LikeLike
btw, in the country we are discussing here, has plenty of 9’s. Not enough professional athletes.
I know this, because I am a former professional athlete.
LikeLike
It’s a moldy leftover from the self-esteem generation. Self-affirmation hoo-ha. Stuart Smalley game.
There was nothing so preposterous or so damaging to esteem in general as when a throng of losers decided that they were the best judge of themselves, that their forced-positive thoughts were more indicative of value than accomplishment, and that all they had to do was declare a thing to be true and then it would magically become true.
Adam Carolla is a modern prophet about this epidemic. He went off for a half-hour on Wa Wa Wubbzy, here’s the heart of it:
LikeLike
Did not think it like this at all. But you are right, it sounds very much of those “I am a good person,I am a good person,I am a good person,I am a good person” things.
LikeLike
What are your thoughts on the Rachel Jeantel testimony? I think she would benefit from a critique of her intellect, appearance, and honesty.
LikeLike
Well gimme the microphone first, so I can bust like a bubble. Compton and Long Beach together? Now you know you’re in trouble. Cause ain’t nothin’ but a G thing, baaaaaby.
LikeLike
CH, has anyone offered any proof that Rachel is, in fact, something other than a gorilla? Because the key issue is, of course, whether a gorilla is competent to give testimony in court. A young child is not, so I’m pretty sure a gorilla is not a competent witness. Because even Jane Godall’s gorillas learned only what, 30 words? Whereas even a 5 year old human child knows about 10,000 words. Hmmmmm.
LikeLike
she wasn’t that attracted, and was never going to give you her number, the conversation is just window dressing. Good account of the interaction, helpful in understanding their PR techniques. You didn’t do that bad, she didn’t get to the point of being insulting.
LikeLike
Here’s what works for me
Once she asks the question, stare at her with a straight face for 2 seconds, then look away and smirk. Wait. Start to speak, wait the tiniest fraction, Stalkers” you say.
If she asks you about it, act distant and say its complicated.
Anything more she says on that, avoid,ignore,obfuscate,change the topic.
LikeLike
Reblogged this on masykur blog.
LikeLike
I like men who are different. A man who is not on facebook is hot. Non conformist is a hottie mctottie! I’m a lady and I’m not on Facebook. Men ask me all the time if I’m on Facebook. I say no and they never ask why.
Hi everyone. I hope y’all have a splendid sunshiney day. 😀
LikeLike
YaReally–or anyone else experienced with this–have you any thoughts in your archive about how to prevent chicks from trying to sabotage you with other girls? I don’t know how you deal with jealousy and psychotic behaviour from chicks–especially if you slum it occasionally, which I am often guilty of– and will try to fuck up your chances with their competitors, using Facebook to spy on you for example and contact other chicks you’re boning. A second question is then, what do you think of relatively indiscriminately adding chicks you’ve banged to Facebook — is it asking for trouble? I keep all my profile locked down– no one can walk post, etc, it’s just some pics.
LikeLike
I only communicate via smoke signals. Get at me brahs
LikeLike
YaReally, escalated physically last night and got a couple of numbers. Met a professional pua who pushed me to adhere to the 3-second rule. I was literally on fire (had super awesome night). I mostly danced and shot the shit with girls… honestly, remembering the night now, I didn’t get any shittests… I was super physical and grinded a lot, but I pulled back and let them come to me. The Pua dude told me what to say to open and then I took it from there. I approached this girl at the bar of the club, I leaned back against the bar and opened her. Made it look like she was hitting on me. Did some marriage role-playing, introed me to her friends. Actually one of her friends thought I was being rough with her but she told the friend that I was only trying to move her so the dude could get to the bar (which was true). She seemed into me, joked about getting married, traveling and having babies with each other lol. We then had a small heart to heart (so I’m not just jokey with her).
Club numbers are generally flakey, no? So I dunno, how should I play this/text so we can meet up? I have another number I can practice with so, yeah, wondering your thoughts on this. I think getting makeouts was the original goal, but I kinda wanna try Day 2’s now. The girl was actually on her way out so I couldn’t have had sex with her. The other one I got the number from though, I kinda just left for no reason… honestly i guess I could’ve had sex with her that night, but I was so happy I found a pua in my city who’s willing to help me that I kinda wanted to learn more stuff from him lol. Not to suck his dick or anything, but it was like magic. I went from being scared to talk to any girls to freaking grinding/dancing with every girl I wanted to meet lol. We were the life of the party and there were SO many dudes just standing there like robots. Wallflowers. Whatever.
Got rejected a few times too but it was fun!
Going out again on Tuesday night to bars so any other tips are appreciated.
I’d also like to point out that I was probably the worst dressed dude in the entire club (gym shoes, plain shirt, khaki’s) so yeah… kinda surprised how well everything went lol
Also, I’m kind of trying to keep convo details sparse cuz like i’ve read before, it’d be weird to have the exact convo from the night before show up on some blog (especially if there’s a chance I’ll see her again). Am I overthinking this?
LikeLike
‘it’d be weird to have the exact convo from the night before show up on some blog (especially if there’s a chance I’ll see her again). Am I overthinking this?’
I think so. Lol no hot girl is going to get on the netz and look up these convos. It’s probably helpful to think of what life is like for a hot girl — they have a bajillion interactions and convos with guys all day.
That said, I mean….it’s never really -what- you say anyway. It’s all about having that delivery. But knowing what to say and having a cool response prepared does lend you confidence, which helps your delivery.
‘I approached this girl at the bar of the club, I leaned back against the bar and opened her.’
I’ll try this some time. Usually I don’t like to lock-in like that until after I’ve opened the set and we’re having a fun conversation.
‘Club numbers are generally flakey, no?’
Numbers from hot girls are generally flakey unless you really solidify that attraction. That’s awesome that you’re having such quick success with it, tho lol, I’m jealous! 😀
LikeLike
@Hunter
“YaReally, escalated physically last night and got a couple of numbers.”
Props! Getting used to escalating physically is one of the scarier milestones.
“Met a professional pua who pushed me to adhere to the 3-second rule.”
Lol, lucky opportunity there. The 3-Second Rule exists for a reason, it does a lot of good things that help get your night going.
“remembering the night now, I didn’t get any shittests”
A nuance to shit-tests is that they generally come when the girl is determining how congruent you are to who you seem to be. ie – if either there’s something “off” about your vibe (like you’re faking it till you make it) or if she’s insecure/suspicious and just needs re-enforcement that you are (or STILL are, in the case of longer-term relationships) the guy she’s attracted to.
So the newbie approaching with an indirect opener but who’s clearly “up to something” gets shit-tested hard because she knows something is up and is exposing him so she can be not attracted to him and not end up having sex with a faker. Whereas the entitled Natural who’s been good with women since he was young and is 100% congruent when he approaches, even approaching direct, probably won’t get shit-tested because she can tell “he is absolutely to the core the guy he seems to be”…or she may just shit-test him a couple times, juuuuust to make sure, but he passes those and she’s happy. Same time a wife might continuously shit-test her hubby because she wants to make sure she’s still attracted to the same badass alpha she married…and then if he lets himself get beta’ized over time, he starts failing those shit-tests and she falls out of attraction. When I get shit-tested for saying offensive things, it’s because she wants to see if I’m just drunk or full of bravado or going to apologize for offending her, or if I’m actually a guy who says things like that and totally expects to get away with it because I’m used to girls liking me and the things I say.
Part of why passing a shit-test sparks attraction isn’t that the words you say attract her, or that passing a shit-test is in itself somehow attractive, or that zinging her with a good comeback builds attraction…the reason it sparks attraction is that it demonstrates to her “I am congruent and you can trust me to be who you think/hope I am”, so she can be attracted and want to fuck you, because she has that assurance that she isn’t fucking some lame guy.
That’s why a beta who’s learning Game can fake it till he makes it and learn how to pass the most common shit-tests and despite being an AFC deep down, he can still bed the chick, because he passed the shit-tests she threw at him and she registers him as who he’s faking being…and this is also why those guys tend to lose the girl when she spends any significant amount of time with him, because he only learned to pass a few common shit-tets, but he hasn’t internalized the concept itself or the mentalities that allow him to naturally pass those tests.
You were probably in a great state from approaching a bunch, and letting loose and being physical instead of holding back, so you’re basically unashamedly going for what you want…aligned in your thoughts, words, and actions. So no need to shit-test you. You may also have gotten light shit-tests that you didn’t even register as shit-tests because of the state you were in. Like when I get shit-tested (because my strategy involves actively goading the girl into shit-testing me, as I’ve explained before), to me it’s just her flirting, and actually makes me MORE interested because I’m like “ooo, a feisty one, I like it! :D” and I stomp through her shit-test.
“I was super physical and grinded a lot, but I pulled back and let them come to me.”
Good. This goes with the stuff I was talking about before, about being more sexual…show you *CAN* cross the line, that you aren’t afraid to get in her personal space or touch her or talk about sexual topics, but then pull back and be normal. Once you’ve done that, you’ve separated yourself from the friend zone guys who talk to her like a “friend to a friend” or “girlfriend to a girlfriend”, and you’ve set up a “man to woman” frame. But stay across that line too long and you come across desperate/horny/low-standards because it’s as if you’re scared that if you cross back away from the line you may never get there again…whereas a sexual guy knows he can tap-dance back and forth over that line whenever he wants.
This is a BIG part of my style of game.
“Made it look like she was hitting on me.”
Good stuff. Classic lock-in. Two solid benefits from it are that the rest of the girls in the bar think she’s hitting on you and SHE starts to think she’s hitting on you because she’s behaving in a way that she would be behaving if she were hitting on you so her brain is like “well whenever I do this it’s because I like a guy, and I’m doing it, so I must like this guy!”. It’s like a backwards rationalization deal.
“Did some marriage role-playing, introed me to her friends. Actually one of her friends thought I was being rough with her but she told the friend that I was only trying to move her so the dude could get to the bar (which was true). She seemed into me, joked about getting married, traveling and having babies with each other lol. We then had a small heart to heart (so I’m not just jokey with her).”
All beautifully executed on your part. Textbook pickup right here. Lots of iois from her (like defending you to her cockblocking friend) and good calibration on your end to pull back to have a heart to heart. It would surprise me a lot if she didn’t txt you back.
“Club numbers are generally flakey, no?”
Nah. That’s what guys running lose/shallow game say, because they’re skipping a lot of the deeper concepts of game and just going off “I got her to smile and laugh for 30 seconds and then make out and got her number, so of course she’ll txt me back!” and it’s like no, you forgot about rapport and you triggered her ASD and didn’t qualify her or make her invest etc. etc.
If you run really solid game and cover all the bases, club numbers are as solid as any other number (unless you’re hitting on a hammered chick who literally won’t remember you the next day in her blurry hangover memories lol). The reason newbies go through the “I came out of there with 20 phone numbers but they all flaked wtf?!?” phase is because that’s the phase where they’ve just started going for the number more aggressively and they haven’t gotten into the deeper stuff that solidifies those numbers because they’re riding the “I have superpowers!!” high of being able to get a # in 30 seconds.
After they get frustrated enough with all the flaking they post complaining about it and we tell them congrats, time for the next stage in your game, and direct them to material on building rapport and qualifying her etc.
“So I dunno, how should I play this/text so we can meet up?”
I don’t know enough about her to say exactly, but your basic options are “have her meet up with you alone” or “have her friends come out and meet up with you and your friends when you’re all out partying together”. It sounds like you have enough interest to get her to meet up alone…her friends have already approved of you, you’ve had some heart to heart, etc. So try pushing for that first, because you need isolation with her to build to sex. If she’s young and stuck in party mode and only wants to meet up on like a Friday at the bar with her group of friends and yours etc., you can still work that (just figure out how to isolate her), but it’s a shit-load more work and hassle and room for error.
Shoot for a weeknight, where there won’t be as much chaos out and about and you can have some room in a bar/lounge/pub somewhere all to yourselves without the elbow-to-elbow “my BFF lost her cel phone omg dramaaaa!!” bullshit to deal with…plus you likely won’t run into anyone she knows which will help her feel like no one will know if she sleeps with you (VS partying with her friends on a Friday night).
Plan a solid Day 2. Make it involve these things:
1) Alcohol, at least one drink…don’t get hammered or anything, you don’t need to, and you can do it without any alcohol, but it’s a lot easier for her ASD to allow her to have sex with you quickly if it can say “oh well we were drinking and it just happened!”, even if “drinking” means literally one sip of a drink (this has literally happened to me before lol)
2) Multiple venue-changes, that seem spontaneous, and are led by you. So you walk from the car to the lounge (for instance) but go “hey, sec, I need to get some gum” and pull her by the forearm into the convenience store beside you before you get to the lounge. In the lounge you start at a casual open table and shoot the shit and get her comfortable. Then you say “hey let’s play pool/darts/etc.” and move her over to that area to do that together. Tease/flirt/cheat etc. and lead things into a flirtier direction…bet a kiss on the game, etc. Then you say “I need to sit down, come.” and lead her to the booths that are more private in the back corner, where you can escalate kino more, etc.
Every time you enter a new environment with her, even if it’s just changing to another part of the bar, you’re showing her that she’ll be safe following your lead so she’ll be more agreeable to being led (eventually into a cab and back to your place and then into your bedroom)…plus it makes her feel like you’ve known eachother longer because you’ve been in so many different places together, even if the time duration is the same as sitting at one table for the same length of time, so you have more comfort etc.
3) Lace the conversation with a reason to come back to your place or go back to her place…”oh you haven’t seen MovieX? It’s awesome, I have it on DVD…” (then later on when it’s clearly “on”) “This place is too noisy (these drinks are too expensive, these people are too drunk, etc. etc.), let’s go watch MovieX at my place. Come.” and lead her the way you led her around all night, but this time it’s into a cab/car to your place (don’t drive if you were drinking, of course).
4) Figure out logistics ahead of time. Does she work at 6am the next day? Does she have a car she won’t want to leave parked downtown overnight? Do you have cab fare and know where/how to get a cab easily? Does she have roommates or live with her parents so you can’t go to her place? etc.
5) Make sure the last venue you end up at is near your apartment or her apartment, so the transition is easy between there and isolation. A shit-hole pub by your place is better than a fancy upscale lounge a 40 minute subway ride away.
6) Try to pick places you have social proof at, if possible…if it’s not possible, then in the future try to have built up social proof at some places. It’s not mandatory, but it helps if she feels like she’s out with an important socially connected guy even if that connection is the old lady at the convenience store knows you or a bartender at the shitty pub knows what kind of beer you like.
“I think getting makeouts was the original goal, but I kinda wanna try Day 2′s now.”
lol, combine them both and make out on your Day 2. 😀
“The girl was actually on her way out so I couldn’t have had sex with her.”
That’s fine, you did enough work that I’d be surprised if you didn’t end up on a Day 2 with her.
“The other one I got the number from though, I kinda just left for no reason… honestly i guess I could’ve had sex with her that night, but I was so happy I found a pua in my city who’s willing to help me that I kinda wanted to learn more stuff from him lol.”
Homo. 😉 lol. In all seriousness, a good wingman is worth 1000 women, so I understand. Just make sure you try to give some value back to him, like winging him proper and remembering to introduce him to the sets you open etc. Two guys consciously applying game together can do a LOT of damage.
“I went from being scared to talk to any girls to freaking grinding/dancing with every girl I wanted to meet lol”
Remember: he helped jump-start you but ultimately that was YOU doing that. The same you that was telling bachelorette parties what school you went to before they fell asleep from not realizing you had a penis. You are 100% capable of doing this again and taking it further.
At the same time, remember that every night is it’s own thing…you might go out next week and bomb and suck ass and just feel horrible and frustrated going “fuuuuck but I was so awesome before!! now I’m terrible!! 😦 :(” but just remember that while there’s an overall macro-momentum that builds up when you go out a lot, each night itself is its own entity and the steps you take when you get to the club that night (3-Second Rule, remembering to be more sexual, approaching instead of standing in a chode-crystal with buddies talking shit, laughing off rejections, etc.) determine what sort of night you’re likely to have more than anything else.
“We were the life of the party and there were SO many dudes just standing there like robots. Wallflowers. Whatever.”
lol yep. The guys on Death Row looking terrified to be there, and the guys leaned up against the wall making sure it doesn’t fall over. 😉
“Got rejected a few times too but it was fun!”
Excellent attitude.
“Going out again on Tuesday night to bars so any other tips are appreciated.”
Whoops, this probably won’t make it to ya in time. My bad, I’ve been writing long-ass replies lately (Scray yours is comin’ next) and just now gotten around to this one lol
“I’d also like to point out that I was probably the worst dressed dude in the entire club (gym shoes, plain shirt, khaki’s) so yeah… kinda surprised how well everything went lol”
It’s almost like none of that shit matters and it all comes down to Game. Weird. 😉
“I’m kind of trying to keep convo details sparse cuz like i’ve read before, it’d be weird to have the exact convo from the night before show up on some blog (especially if there’s a chance I’ll see her again). Am I overthinking this?”
lol I’m paranoid about it. I change wording here and there and when I give examples I come up with new ones as I’m writing that get the same point across but aren’t exactly what I say in real life. In the community we’ve had girls stumble across their own Field Reports and it’s pretty devestating to them because to them everything seemed to natural and magical and they opened themsleves up and ignored their own ASD etc. and then they read about themselves and their magical interaction being broken down as a strategic gameplan and shared with a bunch of random dudes on the Internet. Pretty brutal and a lot of drama for everyone involved.
You’d probably be fine, but don’t share more than you’re comfortable with, and with this particular girl you should be fine and not need much detailed help. Let us know if she full out flakes or anything…like I say, I would be surprised if you weren’t in a txt convo with her and able to arrange a Day 2.
Props on going out! Hope you have a fun night tonight! Good luck with this chick.
LikeLike
I won’t join anything invented by Al Gore… wait… what?
LikeLike
30 day challenge over:
In short, I still suck at this lol.
—-As I get better at talking (reaching social hook point) to hotter girls, I’m running into some weird inner confidence issues. Like, I was talking to a set with this girl, and the opening went great. And the girl riffs on me saying she’s manipulative…then I roleplay ‘so how would you get even if we were going out and you were pissed….you’ve been home all I day, and I get there, what do you do?’ She says she’d do what she did to an ex….and then details a very graphic, sexual story (it was like some Wild Things shit lol). I -immediately- kind of shut down out of intimidation….like ‘wowshecouldneverlikemeholyshitwtf.’
—-I’m terrified of escalation without a lot of IOI’s. Like, there are a lot of sets where I feel like I should just go for it (seriously, why not?)
—-It’s still hard for me to create an emotional response, which sucks — I still feel like hot chicks think they can ignore me and w/e at will.
—-Mixed sets are where the hottest girls are at, on average, that I’ve seen. I mean occasionally there’s a hot two set of girls or whatever.
—-My calibration re: when I’m getting them interested is fucked up. Like, I’ll open a set and within five-ten minutes, they’ll start asking me questions like ‘hey what are you? (ethnicity) what’s your name? what do you do? etc…’ and my mind’ll be like ‘nah, just joke around about it you haven’t done anything to earn it yet’ but like, lol….I think I’m wrong. Because when I do this they don’t seem to like the fact that I joked about it.
—-Looks make a big difference. I’ve talked to girls, then left, then watched some tall good-looking guy roll in and get way more attention with not even a quarter of the same personality.
—-But, even in the most insane club, you can overcome looks (at least on some level). I opened a five set, 3 dudes and 2 girls. Dudes are good-looking, buff, etc. I roll in, play games with the group, engage the target. I think it’s going horribly (target actually starts asking me the questions from above, but I do THE SAME GODDAMNED thing and joke about it)….so she cools and starts whispering to the leader of the chode group about me. I sigh and eject soon enough
A few minutes later, those girls walk down the club hall and see me and they’re like ‘there you are! those guys were so lame!’ The target seemed to like me, but her uggo friend wasn’t having it. I’m telling you, there’s starting to be this weird inversion where uggos are averse to me lol.
—-Going out alone is pretty hard. I’d say I’m only at like 20-30% when I’m out alone.
—‘Queens of conversation’ has led to some fun interactions. altho, when they say ‘don’t know’ what line they would have said instead, I tend to go with ‘you have NO IDEA, how is this relationship supposed to get off the ground if you don’t help?’
—> ‘there are a lot of reasons it’s not going to get off the ground (smirk)’
‘….now you’re talking to me, all right, hit me with it (leans against bar, looking at club)’
‘First of all, I’m taller than you’
‘….really? (glances down at her feet)’
‘Heels count!’
‘All right, whatever. Next?’
‘….well, you’re really courageous. I like that.’
‘Whoa, whoa….we’re talking about why you -don’t- want to be with me, remember?’
‘ooooh, ya!’
—-Cougars. lol. At least five times I’ve been assaulted by cougars. They’re kind of pushy too…..like, they open me, they ask me a bunch of questions. There’s always one who’s super into me. Bleh.
—-State. I haven’t been in state for like…..weeks. It’s kind of liberating to know you can just go out and get it going no matter what mood you’re in.
—-Clubs. In a city famous for its nightlife….these are such great practice grounds. So many hot girls, so many fun interactions. Plus, you go there more and more, the staff start to take care of you. All they see is you talking to girls like a mack — so when they say ‘hi’ that’s the image they have of you = great social proof to hot girls.
LikeLike
Ha. I understand, including about the cougar bit! Although occasionally, if they’re cool, cougars will set you up with hot younger girls; that happened once to me in Europe (American cougar, local girl). The cougar stated that since I had too much energy for her, I needed a younger girlfriend.
I had a great month too: got off my butt and got over my fear of opening sets with attractive women in bars — in April and May I got some numbers in a university computer lab, but that’s a more restricted environment — learned bar logistics much better, made some new friends to replace those that have left town, and picked up some numbers, all without dumpster diving, and believe me it looks so easy to do that now. Have pretty much wiped out my earlier bad habits of hovering and staring, and intend to make sure they stay dead. Bottom line: I seem to be well on my way to being considered one of the Cool Guys in Town.
LikeLike
That sounds fucking awesome, man.
LikeLike
lol. About to pass out right now but you’ll laugh at my response. Good stuff man, the 30 days did more for you than you realize right now, I’ll break it down for ya. Massive massive props for your effort/self-discipline.
My roommate is doing a similar challenge right now (out almost daily) and I might join him just cause fuck it, why not lol
LikeLike
‘My roommate is doing a similar challenge right now (out almost daily) and I might join him just cause fuck it, why not lol’
Ya, I think I’m good to just start going out 4-5 nights a week now regardless. I mean, it’s starting to become a little more difficult because I’m getting more social circle invites….so sometimes I’m like ‘ya, gotta make an appearance.’ There were several times during the 30 days where I just had to cold approach while in the context of a social circle gathering….so there’s a section of my social circle right now that just loves to razz me/hear my ‘going out cunting’ stories. I don’t mind telling them, because I mean, even if they tease me about them or whatever I don’t give a shit….because I’m way tighter than they are lol
LikeLike
Yeah one thing I have recently concluded is that I will never go out alone again. Ever. It’s just automatic no-way-to-show-social-proof. It really matters, I think more than ever. Just to be clear, I’ve done it for years, I’m not shy, I chat up everyone, male and female, everywhere–on the street, in the elevator, at work, in bars, wherever. I’ve been cold approaching (and having success) literally since age 18. (I’m now 38–and that’s one problem I have now.) I went to a party state school but was not greek, and even there I would cold approach other (non greek, usually) girls in clubs and get them, sometimes. But now that I’m 38….dude yeah men can age more gracefully than women and we don’t have “the wall” as bad but at the same time not everyone is Alpha Jack Nicholson. I’m good looking and make good money but I’m a normal guy–not famous. I was married…now divorced. I *am* invisible or creepy to 90% of girls aged 22 to 25 and especially to younger than 22. I’m 8 years older even than a 30 year old. And I have stayed in shape and can pass for 29, and I get carded, but still…..word of advice to you wannabe players for life. It does get harder when you are not the same age as the girls 21-25 anymore. You are no longer in school or same age group at work with them. I hooked up with a lot of 8s from age 24-27 (when I got married). At 38…not the same. Everywhere I go I have such frustration because I see total hotties aged 17 (I know this blog won’t give me shit for saying that) to 22 with pimple-faced, skinny, no job having probably no future career either, nothing-going-for-them dorks, not even alpha…and I know those kids are feeling those tight little perky young boobs and ass that nigth. While I’m not with anyone. It is definitely harder at age 38 than it was at 18 or 28. But back to my point….I think all of this is really true as far as going out alone. I’m not a loser. I used to have a good social network. Guess what? All of my friends my age are now married and home with their kids. I’m divorced so I’m trying to be back on the scene again with NO social proof. It really sucks, franky. What’s inspiring this post in particular is I went out alone last Monday night to a local dive joint (pretty cool place…good live music…Monday is jaz night), alone, feeling good. Got a good workout in first, was feeling pumped, was feeling like applying the advice of this blog just for fun, literally didn’t give a fuck, not nervous. Ended up hitting on a cute little 8 chick who was probably 21, there with her friends (3 girls and 3 guys)…guys probably beta orbiters. She was kind of cool with me, I got her alone in a different part of the bar (2 stages). I said “put your number in my phone” without even talking to her much, she immediately just did it without questioning. Thing is I got pretty drunk that night…and had no friend to drive me home. Ended up getting 2 other chicks to drive my car home and take care of me (no sex) that night even. See, I’m not a total loser. I don’t go out much because of being a professional divorced dad and I go out one time, alone, and go 1 for 1 getting a true 8 to put her number in my phone (she used my phone to call herself…keep reading to get to the end of that story), and get 2 other random chicks to drive me home and take care of me all night to make sure I didn’t die from alcohol poisoning (that part was pretty loserish).
Ok…next morning the 8 had texted me “who is this” since she obviously saw my # as a missed call in her phone (SHE called herself with my phone after I told her to put her # in my phone). She had seen me pretty fucking drunk a little later on.. I waited all day and:
Me: cute blonde girl?
Her: Yes?
Me (8 hours later): Mmmm hmmm.
Her: ?
Me: Oh, you weren’t asking?
Her: Who is this?
Me: (next day): You texted me. I think u did it from [name of the bar].
(she’s gone).
Now…I don’t think I fucked up that texting much at all. Yareally?
I think she remembered I was the drunk alone older guy or she got 5 numbers that night, next morning…whatever.
Thing is, sorry to make excuses, I think I had no chance primarily because of having no wingman. I had watched her earlier in the night (I really don’t think she had noticed me but I could be being naïve) and again I’m not shy. If I had a wingman I would have crashed her little group much earlier and talked to them….even though I could tell they are 6 friends from college aged 21-22. I truly don’t give a fuck as far as being shy.
I think I just had NO chance with this 8 (super cute, pretty, tight little body, blonde) in that situation.
So I have resolved to not go out alone anymore. Just a waste of money and abuse of my body (lots of smoke in the bar too…plus the alcohol).
Thoughts?
LikeLike
‘Yeah one thing I have recently concluded is that I will never go out alone again. Ever. It’s just automatic no-way-to-show-social-proof.’
lol why. All you have to do is short-set for awhile if you’re really freaking out about being ‘alone.’ That said, I feel ya. The first question almost anyone will ask me if a set is going well is ‘are you here alone…?’
‘Just a waste of money and abuse of my body (lots of smoke in the bar too…plus the alcohol).’
I never drink when I go out. It’s to the point where I’ve gotten so many waters at so many different clubs/bars that bartenders are like ‘lol do you even drink? you just come here, hit on girls, and get some water.’ And I’m like ‘hahaha ya, sometimes I need to hydrate…’
But honestly, if you were just slaying a lot of 8’s back in the day….it doesn’t seem like it’ll take long for you to get back to your former glory. Stick with it, mang.
LikeLike
Pure respect for not drinking. Mostly I default to drinking but it messes everything up: awareness, hair-trigger emotions etc. Difficult to get energy without it, but it’s a poison. Better to enjoy a few artisansl beers at home with your favourite tunes,as tom the democrat would advise
LikeLike
I don’t drink for a lot of reasons. One is just to focus on game, but I mean….I’m getting really into physical fitness — starting to really shed the bodyfat — and alcohol/binging is just bad for it.
LikeLike
First of all, you’re too negative.
Another thing: Don’t get so drunk, it fucks up your game.
The texting exchange sucked. Why did you call her “cute blonde girl”? Did you two even get each others’ names? Also, your replies didn’t seem to make any sense; they’d make me go “?” too. Being an aloof alpha male doesn’t mean throwing non sequiturs at her. Laconic is good, but your statements must be in context to be effective rather than confusing.
You need to make better rapport and to make sure she knows who you are — again, getting plastered doesn’t help either of you.
LikeLike
Alright, I’m going to help you on this. Because as I get older, guys like you are relevant to me because you are a warning of, well, what to avoid becoming if I decide to go the eternal bachelor route. So your rant strikes a bit of a personal chord and writing this will help me remind myself to stick to the right path to head towards being a George Clooney cool older high-value man instead of a creepy fuck wearing dad-jeans weirding young chicks out lol because those are basically the only two paths when you’re a 38yo single guy in a bar hitting on girls.
This is also to help the other older guys in the Manosphere, because the PUA crowd is generally younger and the Manosphere has a lot more divorced dad type guys who are self-conscious about being “the old guy in the bar”. Day-game and social-circle game are probably a lot easier routes for an older guy, but if you still want to be able to choose from a bunch of young hotties in a bar on a Saturday night VS hoping your social circles spit something decent your way, or you’re recently fucked over and need to build a social circle and make new buddies and shit, hitting up the bar with a gameplan might be a route you want to explore, and regardless you should find some of this shit useful.
Also on a personal note, while I DO have fun shitting all over expectations by being chubby and having no money etc. but still getting girls, I AM fully aware that as I get older, to keep this MGTOW-who-can-pickup-girls hybrid lifestyle up (and possibly create some spawn one day, who knows), I’ll have to handle that shit, and I’ve started on those things this year and have a general plan for the future with it lol
@Snoop Lion
“I’m not a loser.”
You’re right, you’re *NOT* a loser. BUT, you’re acting LIKE a loser.
The bad news is: the end result in how people treat you ends up being the same because all people know about you is what you present to them. But the good news is: the actions you’re taking are what make you seem like a loser to people, and you can change your actions, which will change your results. This is all completely in your control, but it will take work, self-discipline, and forcing yourself to change some shitty habits you’ve developed and rationalized away as either out of your control to fix or not damaging enough to bother fixing.
Again, I want to stress that I’m not shitting on you as a person, I’m shitting on actions you’re taking that are completely within your control. Your situation is one that you can completely fix, if you want it bad enough to put in the work.
Also: understand that you have CHANGED. You are not the same guy you were before your marriage. Your mindset has changed, and not in a good/useful way. Part of what’s fucking you up is that you’re picturing yourself as the same guy you were before, so you’re creating more stress for yourself and higher standards for yourself than you need to because you’re stuck in the same mentality as the guy who used to be an impressive athelete when he was younger, but had an operation or something and has gotten fat and lazy over the years, trying to get back to the gym and frustrated because he isn’t able to lift the same weights or run for as long as he used to when he was prime…you can’t approach this the same way you did back then because you’re not the same guy you were and you’re not in the same environment you were in. The fat older dude has to take up a different regimine to get back in shape than he did when he was younger.
And before I get into it, you should be aware that a lot of oldschool pickup instructors are in their 30s now, some of them near or past your age, some with kids, and they still do just fine, even with young chicks. But there are differences between what they do and their mindsets, and what you do and your mindsets.
So let’s break you down:
Going through your post, right NOW (again, you may have been the opposite before your marriage but this is who you are right now, and I’m aware that a lot of this will sound like flowery bullshit but stick it out) you are:
– A 38yo man who bases his self-worth and how he should feel about himself externally (“I’m a normal guy-not famous”, “I’m invisible or creepy to 90% of young girls”, “here’s my story about me getting chicks to take me home, see I’m not a loser guys!!”, “i had no chance”, “I need a wingman”, “I need social proof”, “it’s impossible to be attractive/cool without social proof”, “all these girls judge me for being there alone and that’s relevant to me and I feel creepy because of it”)
– A 38yo man who has no friends and either can’t or doesn’t want to make friends (ya, ya, it’s because guys your age are married, and you used to have a good social network but it’s gone now, and it’s because you don’t have a lot of free time, and it’s because there’s no one to be your wingman blah blah blah…some of those are valid excuses for why this is a problem for you, but the point is the end result is that right now you are someone who has to go out alone and has no friends despite being chatty/social)
– A 38yo man who’s living in his past glories and frustrated that things have changed (“I used to be a badass with girls”, “I got girls back in school even without being greek”, “I used to hook up with young chicks but it’s harder to meet them now”, “girls used to want me but now they think I’m a loser because I don’t have social proof”)
– A 38yo man who thinks he’s owed better than he’s getting and falling into the blue pill belief that if you work out, work hard, make money, etc. the universe will just throw you friends and pussy without you haven’t to work specifically at those things (“look at these stupid kids getting these girls I should be getting 😦 :(“)
– A 38yo man who resents other people for being succesful at things he’s currently not (again with the pimply-faced kid rant)
– A 38yo man who’s a pessimistic defeatist and probably just hides behind the label of “realistic” (you’ve already decided you can’t succeed, and you’re giving warnings to other guys that they can’t succeed)
– A 38yo man with shitty text game lol (sorry man, I’ll break it down later but that was some brutal texting and you completely fucked that up yourself)
– A 38yo man who possibly doesn’t realize that his game has gone to shit because he still falls ass-backwards into success now and then, and, again, is still living in his glory days in his head instead of accept that, like not going to the gym for a while, his skills have gone to shit or they never WERE that good to begin with and now that the environment has gotten tougher, they aren’t good enough to prosper in it
– A 38yo man with no self-discipline or self-control or impulse-control (you keep getting drunk when you’re out, even when you know it’s fucking you over in terms of achieving your goals and you’re basically sabotaging yourself)
– A 38yo man who doesn’t take personal responsibility for his failures (you didn’t drink, you “ended up” getting drunk, like it just magically fucking happened and wasn’t a conscious decision on your part to keep consuming alcohol that you know is bad for you and your results in the long-run, to the point where you needed to be babysat…a 38 year old man needing to be babysat. Like, re-read that. That didn’t “just happen”, you chose to end up like that, and I would bet it’s not the first time since your divorce that you’ve “ended up” in that state.
Also you blame everything else except yourself for your situation: you don’t have friends because your friends got married (so it’s their fault), girls don’t like you because you don’t have social proof (so it’s girls’ fault for wanting guys with social proof), you don’t go out much because you’re a professional divorced dad (so it’s the fault of your job and former marriage), you’re invisible and creepy to girls because of your age (so it’s your age’s fault which is something you don’t have control over), etc…everything is based around “nothing is in my control and it’s all everyone else’s fault!! I’ll take credit for all my successes, listen to how I totally got this 8’s number one for one, but I’m not going to take any credit for my failures because I’m not a loser, all that stuff is the fault of other people or things, not my own fault!)
– A 38yo man who doesn’t have the motivation or discipline or respect for himself to improve his situation (actually, this one is to be determined, by how you respond to this comment…you can ignore what I’m saying and tell me I don’t really know you and I’m only 31 so I don’t understand and blah blah blah and make up a bunch of bullshit excuses to rationalize why you should be allowed to piss & moan without fixing your shit…or you can use this as motivation to start turning your shit around. In fact I’m going to give you a step by step gameplan for you to follow in this very comment. The road is laid out in front of you, if you can shed all the bullshit you’ve let yourself get away with and start working harder on this)
So we have a 38yo undisciplined, whiny, bitter/resentful, friendless, anti-social, frustrated defeatist with shitty text game who blames other people and circumstances for his failures.
Sounds pretty awesome, what <25 girl WOULDN'T want that? I mean, chicks like older mature men right so they should be all over that mess, right? Does that description sound like George Clooney or a well-connected out-going socialite male that's well-respected and brings value to the table? Or does that sound like a drunk old loser with no value to give them beyond using them as a cum dumpster on the nights he isn't too drunk to get it up.
That's essentially what this comes down to. What value are you bringing to the table? The 18-25yo girl is bringing her A-Game, her prime hotness, the highest value she'll ever have in her LIFE…what value are you bringing her that she SHOULD want you? You don't even have cool friends to introduce her to, let alone being able to bring her into a world that guys her age can't…you're offering "I'm decent looking and can stick my dick in you". That's what the young pimply-faced kid is bringing to the table too…except that he can get away with that because no one expects more from him.
And ya, you've had some tough breaks. You don't realistically have the free time a 22yo kid does, and you have responsibilities and shit. Some things are out of your control…but most of what I listed up above there is NOT out of your control and you need to take control of those things that you can.
Right now you're taking the wrong actions and acting like a loser. But again, that's okay because this is fixable if you WANT to fix it (but getting out of a negative victim mentality is hard and it's 100000x easier to just wallow in your misery and feel bad for yourself and ride the validation high of getting sympathy from others for your plight, so I fully understand that this is difficult…even admitting that you need to work on some shit is hard for the ego to take, let alone actually executing it).
So then, now you know how you're coming across to other people (and I'm just some fucktard on the Internet who read one of your posts…if *I* can pick up on all of this from a couple paragraphs from you, young chicks in their prime who are developing the skillset of deducing which guys are high/low value can pick up on all this and probably more). Scray is encouraging you because he can tell you're just stuck in a shitty mindset too, and so is corvinus, and other guys reading your post can probably tell too, so it's not just me picking on you. This is how you're presenting yourself to the world, even if you have a 6-pack and you're pulling $300k/yr as a professional.
So let's break this list down to what's under your control and what isn't:
– a man who bases his self-worth externally (under your control)
– a man with no social proof (under your control)
– a man who has no friends (under your control)
– a man who can't or doesn't want to make friends (under your control)
– a man who's living in his past glories (under your control)
– a man who's frustrated that things have changed (under your control)
– a man who feels like he deserves better (under your control)
– a man who resents others for their success (under your control)
– a man with shitty text game (under your control)
– a man who thinks he still has awesome game (under your control)
– a man who has no self-discipline or self-control (under your control)
– a man who purposely damages his body/mind (under your control)
– a man who doesn't take responsibility for his failures (under your control)
– a man who doesn't respect himself enough to fix his situation (under your control)
………..huh. Look at that. 🙂 lol
This is why I say, I'm shitting on you here, but it's not because of who you are as a person, it's because the actions you're taking that are completely under your control are the wrong actions and I know you can fix them, because I've fixed a lot of them in myself, and I've watched other guys have fixed them in themselves, and plenty of guys fix these things every day.
It's hard work, but if you want it, you can do it. So let's build a road-map for you.
But first, a quote from an oldschool Tyler seminar he gave when he was like 23 and he was seeing old guys at the bar who were pulling young tail and figuring out why they were successful for his future reference: "I think when you're older, I think one of the most important things when you're older is to build it around lifestyle. So have cool places to go and stuff like that. It's just fun to meet powerful, cool guys who've been around, they know the city, and they know cool stuff and they can just open up another world to you. Because she's not admitting to herself she wants sex…she's saying "he seems FUN." And then he gets her alone and it "just happens"." So I talk to him and he says "I'm 75 years old…and I get more pussy than any 75yo in Los Angeles." and he does because it just comes down to game."
So then, how can we fix each of these things? This is how to fix them…some of the ways to fix them may not be convenient for you, and may require you to either push your comfort zone, risk embarrassing yourself, or juggle your priorities so that you have time for these things. How bad you want it will determine whether you'll make any sacrifices to get it…but I want you to understand that if in a year from now you're acting like a 39yo pissing & moaning on here well on your way to becoming the stereotypical whiny-ass old creeper that half the Manosphere embraces being, that was completely YOUR decision because this road-map is removing your excuses:
Flaw: being a man who bases his self-worth externally
Fix: Has any of this post of mine pissed you off? If so, why? What do you care what I think? Why do you care what 21yo girls or their group of friends think? Why does going to a bar alone cause you to act any different than if you had 10 buddies there? Why do you care if girls think you're creepy? Why do you think that the 8 would've liked you if you had some buddy there? What if you could never get laid again by anything but trolls, would you feel shitty? Would you keep telling stories about what a pimp/playa you were back in the day? How many times since college ended have you told people you got girls back then?
The fix for this is to purposely fuck up your ego. Go ahead and make an ass out of yourself with some 21yos. Approach them even if you think they'll think you're creepy. Go sit down with the hot 21yo's pimply-faced group and start telling stories. Go stand in the middle of the dance floor and try dancing by yourself, badly, at the start of the night. Go to the youngest nightclub in town and try approaching some girls. Do the things that you think a 38yo can't get away with.
Is this going to slay you a bunch of 21yo poon? No, they'll probably think you're a creeper. But that won't kill you and isn't a big deal and you need to develop your inner game to the point where you can creep out a 21yo completely, in the worst way possible so she's telling you "eww get the fuck out of here, gross!!", and then be able to turn around and approach the next 21yo with the complete belief that there's no reason she wouldn't be into you.
This is probably the hardest one to fix, because every instinct you have will tell you not to do any of this and it takes a long time for it to get better. Your ego has spent years building up an Identity and it won't want you to risk fucking it all up, let alone purposely fuck it all up.
Travel to another city to do this if you have to, that's fine. It's not about actually fucking up your day to day life/reputation, it's about in that moment in the bar, when you're there thinking those 21yo's won't be into you, fucking up your self-image right then and there in that moment and riding that reference experience…and doing that frequently enough that you develop the ability to not let other people's opinions phase you, especially the opinions of stilly <25yo girls.
This is the one you'll fight doing the most and rationalize ways/excuses to not do it lol That's fine, it's natural. Push through that if you want the young chicks, or quit bitching because you aren't willing to fix your shit, either one is fine, but the former will be a lot better for you in the long-run than the latter.
Flaw: a man with no social proof
Fix: Focus on purposely creating social proof from scratch instantly wherever you are. Learn to work the room, merge sets of strangers with eachother, build rapport faster, figure out who the highest-value people in the bar are and befriend them, get chummy with the bartenders and make small-talk with the bouncers. Chat with the guys and girls who are having fun and have good energy, regardless of how they look or their age etc. Social proof is something you can build anywhere, instantly…as long as there are other people in the room, there's a heirarchy of value that you can tackle:
Quit going out looking at other people as useless to you, or as obstacles, or as not worth your time. Look at them as potential friends and fun. This falls back into the first point, about learning not to care if you embarrass yourself doing this.
Flaw: a man who has no friends
Fix: This falls back into the social proof thing. Approach more people, make more friends, even friends you wouldn't normally picture yourself having anything in common with. I'm 31 and I have good solid day-to-day friends as well as casual bar buddies across the age gamut from 20 to 50yo. They're different looks, personalities, ages, races, styles (everything from rich metro dudes to Budweiser ball-capped construction guys). I don't go in judging them, and I don't expect them to judge me (because I have that first thing aobut not judging myself on other people's opinion down (most of the time lol, I'm human and it comes back if I don't actively work on it just like you get fat if you stop working out and eating healthy)). I'm friends with hot people and ugly people, doesn't matter, as long as they're fun. Some of them aren't even outgoing, they're introverted nerds, but I find ways to connect with them and help bring their good qualities out and make them feel liked and wanted and a part of the group and like they're worth something.
This comes down to giving people value and looking for the good in everyone. I know my worth, and I have the social skills developed from pickup to spread that worth to the people around me. Understand that this isn't something I naturally had or was naturally good at…I had to actively work on this and develop it and make an ass out of myself a shitload because it started to become something I was unconsciously competant at.
Flaw: a man who can't or doesn't want to make friends
Fix: Why don't you have friends? Seriously. You were at the bar the other night when this shit-show all went down…how did you manage to not make any friends that night? Will anyone besides those 3 girls remember you? Do you know the bartender's name? Does he know anything about you? Did you talk to any guys? Do you remember the names of any guys, or anything about them? Or did you just go sit on a stool "listening to the music" until the universe threw some poon in your direction and then you pounced on her. Did you talk to any guys beside you, start up a conversation while you ordered your next beer? Buy anyone a drink, have anyone buy YOU a drink?
I met this dude last week. Nice guy, super good-looking tall dude but he looked nervous and like he was having a shit time, so I chatted him up and joked around about the bar because I could tell it wasn't his scene. Made him comfortable, built a little rapport, even bought him a beer and then opened some random girls and introduced them to him. Shot the shit with him and cheered him up till his friends showed up. Dude was probably early 20s max. I have a bunch of friends so I didn't grab any contact info, but if I wanted to increase my social circle I would've said something like "I'm hitting up this other bar next Friday, it's more your crowd. I can shoot you a txt when I head there if you want, or just come out and find me and we'll chat up some girls." If I run into this guy again, he's going to remember me and I'm going to remember him and say "Hey, how's it going man" and call him by his name because I try to remember those things.
Either you don't WANT to make friends because you judge them as not good enough for you or not the right age range for you or not attractive/cool enough for you to associate with, etc. which is an internal issue on how you view others on your end, or you don't think other people would WANT to be your friend which is an internal issue on how you view yourself on your end.
Flaw: a man who's living in his past glories
Fix: No one gives a shit. Yesterday has no effect on today. You can be a god one night, slaying poon left and right, and then the next night you can't get a girl to even smile at you. There are ways to build up consistency and push through the off nights, but the point is that nothing you've done up till now matters…the girls don't care and we don't care. All that matters is what you do from here on in. The sooner you quit talking about what a badass you were, the sooner your ego will let go of trying to convince you you're still a pimp and holding you back:
Flaw: a man who's frustrated that things have changed
Fix: Deal with reality. You have to work harder than you used to. You aren't in college surrounded by pussy with a bunch of youthful energy and optimism. You're an older man with a career and kids and responsibilites. Girls aren't going to give you a free pass because you're a pimply-faced 20yo that they don't expect anything more from…they expect you to be a solid man who's got his shit together and can give them some value. You will have to work harder at this. Is that fair? No, probably not. But fuck it, it is what it is. A short guy has to learn how to be dominant and get rid of his "short guy insecurity baggage", so he has to work harder than a guy who's average or tall height…is that fair? No, probably not. But fuck it, what's the alternative? Settle for some fat chick and go down the sexless marriage route with her because life isn't fair and it's too haaaaard and that other guy has it easier? No, you just do it.
Flaw: a man who feels like he deserves better
Fix: You don't. The world doesn't owe you shit. It sounds like you have parts of your life handled (career, health, etc.), and that's awesome, but it won't hand you those 21yo hotties because you're dropping the ball in other parts of your life. Note that I'm not saying you can't get laid, but that if you want the girls who are at their prime, when you're 38+, you have work to do.
Flaw: a man who resents others for their success
Fix: This is just negative bullshit. It usually stems from you seeing yourself as higher-value than other people, but not because you ARE higher-value to other people but because you feel like they SHOULD see you as higher-value and it's unfair that they're too stupid to realize how much better you are. This is all a retarded mindset. Start finding the good in people…even when you meet people you don't respect, or have nothing in common with, look for something in them that's positive. Maybe do Tony Robbin's positivity challenge a few times this year if you find yourself constantly "talking shit" about other people in your head, even people who "deserve" it. If some 20yo pimple-face came along and took your 8 from you the other night while you were shit-faced on a bar stool, you should be able to go "lol shit, good game kid" and be happy for him pulling a hottie.
Flaw: a man with shitty text game
Fix: lol. You're in the right place to fix that. 😀 Also: http://yareallyarchive.com/search/?q=game+text
Flaw: a man who thinks he still has awesome game
Fix: Ya, you got a #. But you didn't stick your dick in her. Ya, you got two girls to come home with you. But you were too drunk to fuck either of them. Ya, back in college you got laid a bunch blah blah. But this isn't then, this is a marriage/divorce/kids/loss-of-friends/etc. later. It's fine, you can fix this…post up Field Reports, figure out your sticking points, make more friends, build a social circle, befriend staff and start becoming known for offering value to people, go out with some goals of shit to work on instead of aimlessly just getting drunk on a bar-stool alone waiting for the universe to throw something your way for you to work with.
You're one of the Aimless Alphas (http://yareallyarchive.com/2013/6/#comment-heartiste-449411) who were always decent at game, so when shit gets harder because the girls aren't as receptive or forgiving anymore and their game needs to be tighter, they choke and get frustrated and blame everything else for their lack of success with the girls they want. But you can fix this, you just have to work at it. The first step is admitting right now your game isn't tight and needs work to land the hot young chicks who expect you to have tighter game than the 38yo twice-divorceed 3-kids-by-different-dads cat-lady saggy wrinkled old chick expects from you.
Flaw: a man who has no self-discipline or self-control
Fix: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JRVNQonYdNU
Flaw: a man who purposely damages his body/mind
Fix: Same video as above.
Flaw: a man who doesn't take responsibility for his failures
Fix: Same video as above. It's an important video, watch it, even though it's long…even his little intro, where he describes the amount of work he was doing at the time. Grab some food, sit back and give it a watch.
Flaw: a man who doesn't respect himself enough to fix his situation
Fix: I've shit on you a bunch here…but it's only because to me it sounds like you're a guy who could be living a better life than he's living, and isn't heading toward where he wants to be, and that's a waste to me. You can fix this, but it's entirely on you to do it…all I've done here is take away your excuses to NOT have a good social circle and 21yo chicks on your arm. From here, the choice of how to live the rest of your life (which could be another 38 long years) is up to you. Good luck. 😉
(far as your text game goes, it was terrible. I *THINK* I get that in your head you thought it came off like you were calling her a cute blonde girl and her "Yes?" was her asking if she was one so your bit after was telling her yes she was but that took some serious mental gymnastics to pull out of those weird texts…she and most people reading that would have no idea wtf you were saying, and then you didn't take the conversation anywhere or anything, and then you played "guess who this is" for too long past the point where she legitimately needed to know who the fuck you were…for all she knows you're some homeless guy who heard her say her number, or a stalker or who the fuck knows or cares, and on top of it all you waited hours and days to respond in an already creepy situation for her…I'm not trying to be a dick, but you could've probably laid her because she was into you at the bar, but you did some weird stuff and tossed it away lol It's all good, just do some reading up on text game, this is easy to fix…post some more txt convos in the future and we can probably help you)
LikeLike
Solid stuff, YaReally. Lots of value in this.
LikeLike
Thanks, glad you liked it. I hope it motivates the guy I’m responding to, but if it doesn’t then at least maybe a few “newly back on the scene” older guys or “planning to be an eternal bachelor” younger guys will be able to take something from it.
LikeLike
Excellent feedback YaReally… I hope He reads it and takes it in.
Funny thing is i’m a 38 y.o. divorced professional father of 2, and have NONE of the problems he’s describing with younger girls. I do look much younger, and my overall vibe is very congruent with that… age really truly is just a number, and the younger girls just want to have fun and feel free, spontaneous, and a bit reckless.. Age has never been an issue. I’m with 20-27 year olds on the constant…
The only issues I see here with Snoop is inner game attitude issues.. PERIOD. Lined out and detailed perfectly by YaReally..
Even forget text game for a minute…. work on the other inner game issues, and text game will just begin to flow naturally… text game is a pure extension of your overall vibe and personality, which is currently in the Def Con 5 dumps.
Keep your head up man… Divorces and being thrown back to the big bad scary world all alone is rough… but it’s also the big bad world of freedom and opportunity as well.
Really though man, solid solid feedback.
LikeLike
That was me 10 years ago…did well with the 21-27 girls till the late 30s, then apparently my behavior patterns were no longer attractive to women. This site (along with Roosh, Alpha Game and Rational Male), and especially Yareally’s comments helped me solve the problem. The turning point for me was getting my head in a place where I didn’t seek external validation or telegraph neediness. From there I was able to parse game principals, project greater value, and build deeper attraction with girls less than half my age (see Krauser’s deep conversion). The 30+ bitter old nanny goats are invisible to me now.
At my age I would have zero value to hot younger girls if I based my self worth on her response to my advances or showed any lack of self control (i.e. getting drunk). Getting drunk reflects neediness (to escape the real world), and lack of control. You have take care of them not the other way around.
I’ve visited this site daily for the past five years and read through the comments to the point that game fundamentals are 2nd nature. It’s getting harder to focus strictly on my game and not get diverted by the evils of feminism, the plight of men etc. Most everything has a dark side…you can’t avoid it but unless you intend to act on it then make it the last thing you think about. Don’t grow into an resentful middle aged man.
A bit of preaching here: Life’s circumstances almost always transform a happy party drinker into something more dark in middle age. Anticipating that drink at the end of the day steers you into rut and you get careless about the serious business of life: “women and children can be careless but not men” (Vito Corleon, The Godfather). Quitting the booze got me out of my comfort zone and revealed opportunities that were formerly invisible and opened up the space for self improvement. I was only a light drinker, but still overly dependent on it. I’ve since adapted by limiting it to high end beer and whiskey in moderation but it takes tremendous willpower at times.
And remember, free advice is often worth exactly what you pay for it…none of this may apply to you….you find inspiration to motivate in unexpected places.
LikeLike
Yo, sorry for the slow response. Massive props for doing the 30 day challenge!
“In short, I still suck at this lol.”
lol you’re better off than you realize. Allow me to break it down. 🙂
The running theme for this is going to be “Surprise, you’re good now. Suck it up and accept that you’ve basically got all the basic skills you need to be getting laid regularly now.” You’re no longer a “recovering AFC”. You put in the time/work/thought/etc. and improved fast as fuck and you’re basically at the door to the lottery office to pick up your million dollar check, but you’re talking yourself out of opening the door because it seems like this all happened too fast and that it shouldn’t have been as “easy” (in the grand scheme of things) as it was.
The check is written and signed to you inside that office, just sitting there waiting for you to go “Shit, I DESERVE that check. I’m kicking this door down.” instead of looking around for permission to open the door and confirmation that the check is really yours.
It’s time to start kicking those doors down and claiming what you deserve like a boss. You’re done. You can start closing girls now, for real, with your P in their V. You’re the wolf in the field of bunnies now, and they WANT you to take them.
This isn’t just feel-good shit. You’re still going to fuck up, and if you stop going out, you’ll lose your skills and have to get back in the groove (tho it’s easier to get back into it and when you do it long enough most of it will just be a part of you and natural, it’s mainly just the actual cold-approaching/escalating fears that’ll come back lol). You’re still going to have sticking points and you’ll still run into logistical troubles and flakiness etc. and girls will still blow you out and hot girls will still seem trickier…
BUT, you’ve GOT the external skills handled and a lot of the internal skills/beliefs handled.
Understand that improving in pickup involves improving two areas: your internal game and your external game. Imagine these are two columns that fill up. Rather than improving both at the same time, usually what happens is that we alternate improving each, and at the start the strides we make are huge and fill those columns with big chunks…then as we alternate back and forth between them, we “top them off” with smaller and smaller increments as we get better and better. At the start we’re learning tons of concepts and focusing on lots of things in each column, whereas down the road we’re just making little fine-tuned adjustments.
Now every guy starts off with his columns filled different amounts depending on his life experiences. Some guys have a lot of confidence and like themselves, but they have no external skills with women. Some guys (like a lot of the oldschool PUA community) have awesome external skills, but their internals are all fucked up and full of self-loathing and they feel like they’re “scamming” the girls they get. And some guys start with both columns empty lol.
So your progress has been the external column jumping up like crazy, while the internal column has improved dramatically (you come across as way more confident in yourself, and not insecure etc. like your first comments were, and you’ve built a lot of great positive mindsets etc.), but not as far as the external one.
So now you’re in a situ where your external game is way more solid than before, but your internals haven’t caught up. As a result, now you’re going to have to work on your internals (specifically your sense of entitlement, giving yourself permission to take what you want, viewing the girls as lucky to have YOU rather than the other way around, coming at girls from the angle of screening them to your standards VS meeting their standards, etc.).
You’re giving off the externals of a guy who can get these girls, so they’re reacting to you as if you’re there, but your internals haven’t caught up so you’re self-sabotaging and “premature ejectulating” and second-guessing and pulling yourself out of there because your brain is like “wtf no way this could be happening, I’m just SCRAY”.
As much as I hate the term, this is the stage where it’s time to “man up”. 🙂 You’ve got the skillset to lay the groundwork out, all you have to do now is step in and claim what’s yours.
This is why I said you’ll laugh at my response…because your “problem” is basically that you got too good too fast and your brain hasn’t caught up to accepting that. Even as you read this you might have some doubts popping through your head like “well but I got shot down 3x last night”. Ya, fuck it, everyone does…but that doesn’t change the fact that you have the skills/abilities in you to get the girls. It’s like learning the material in class…you might still bomb the final exam for whatever reason, but you have the knowledge/skill to ace that thing if you fully embrace it and apply all the shit you’ve learned and accept that you can get an A+.
“As I get better at talking (reaching social hook point) to hotter girls”
You’re approaching hotter girls AND reaching the social hook point with them. You’re already better than 99% of the guys around you because they can’t do that.
“I’m running into some weird inner confidence issues.”
Yup. Because you don’t believe you deserve them yet. How could you be “fixed” in under a year of this?
“I was talking to a set with this girl, and the opening went great.”
Of course it did. Because you’re attractive and confident and socially savvy.
“She says she’d do what she did to an ex….and then details a very graphic, sexual story (it was like some Wild Things shit lol). I -immediately- kind of shut down out of intimidation….like ‘wowshecouldneverlikemeholyshitwtf.’”
🙂 Like I say, the running theme here now is to accept that yes, she could like you, and you deserve girls like that, and the vibe you’re putting off now makes them just assume that you GET girls like that. That’s why they’re telling you stuff like that now.
But also like I say, you’re talking yourself out of it because you don’t think you deserve that yet.
“I’m terrified of escalation without a lot of IOI’s. Like, there are a lot of sets where I feel like I should just go for it (seriously, why not?)”
Do it. You have the skills to deal with however the chips fall, and pushing it is part of what MAKES them give you iois. Give these a watch, I’ve linked them in order of importance. The first 3 are the most important, but the other 3 will help re-enforce the mindset:
“It’s still hard for me to create an emotional response, which sucks — I still feel like hot chicks think they can ignore me and w/e at will.”
They feel like that about EVERY guy lol. That’s their world. When you’re approaching them, they are literally ignoring like 10 guys txting them, 20 guys eyeballing them from across the room, etc. That’s just their world. You have to smash into it and create some polarity…this means risking getting blown out or having them hate you. You don’t need this with a 6, but to get an 8+ you need to make her react to you:
“Mixed sets are where the hottest girls are at, on average, that I’ve seen. I mean occasionally there’s a hot two set of girls or whatever.”
Yup. Mystery called this way back in the day…”the hottest girls are almost never found by themselves”. Thus he came up with Group Theory. Search YouTube for “mystery method volume 1 part 1”. I’m not sure off-hand which part has the focus on group theory…I think it had a 3 in it? Part 3 maybe?
“Like, I’ll open a set and within five-ten minutes, they’ll start asking me questions like ‘hey what are you? (ethnicity) what’s your name? what do you do? etc…’ and my mind’ll be like ‘nah, just joke around about it you haven’t done anything to earn it yet’ but like, lol…”
Your brain is looking at “I haven’t done enough external things to earn this yet…” but what it hasn’t adapted to yet is that your internals work with your externals…so the better your internals are, the less you need to do with your externals, because they’re helping you give off a more attractive/alpha vibe.
So it’s like imagine a newbie shy computer nerd saying “You’re cute, what’s your name?” Now imagine a badass alpha male (whoever your role model is) saying those exact same words. The external game is the exact same, but the 2nd guy has better internals, so when HE does it, it’s attractive.
Your brain just needs to start learning that your internals have started picking up the slack.
“I think I’m wrong. Because when I do this they don’t seem to like the fact that I joked about it.”
Yep, because you’re doing the same thing as when a guy says his name is rumplestiltskin. “lol No really what’s your name?” “Brad Pitt.” “lol come on…what’s your name?” “Shaniqua.” “…oookay no seriously though. What’s your name?” “Mr. Chow.” “ughh…fine whatever. bye.”
But you’re doing it because your brain hasn’t accepted that yes, a girl like that can be that attracted that fast lol
“Looks make a big difference. I’ve talked to girls, then left, then watched some tall good-looking guy roll in and get way more attention with not even a quarter of the same personality.”
Absolutely, if you’re not sticking your dick in her, and a good looking guy comes along, he won’t have to do much. That’s why you don’t leave your girls with these guys, or why you go in and dominate the set and take her from him lol
Like if you just put a bunch of random guys in the room and let her pick, ya, she’ll pick the best looking guy. But that’s why you learn how to create such a presence that she doesn’t even notice those guys. You take over her space, you take over her attention, you take over her WORLD…you become the only thing that EXISTS to her.
You’ll develop this in time. 🙂
Like I say, when I go out with my tall good looking buddy (who even has Natural game), if two girls come up to us, they will BOTH focus on him because he’s naturally better looking and they go for the better looking guy by default. And if I just stand there “looking cool”, they will ignore me and keep talking to him. I have to ACTIVELY dominate their reality and force them to tear their attention away from him and onto me.
So I’ll do stuff like “HEY. Don’t be fucking RUDE. Introduce yourselves or I won’t let you fuck my ridiculously handsome friend here.” and hold out my hand like I just EXPECT to be noticed. That ALONE gets me some attraction/iois. Then when I shake their hands, the one I want I’ll shake her hand last, and then as we’re shaking it I’ll hold onto it a bit longer than I need to and spike her temperature with stuff like “God, you girls just pounced. You must be horny as fuck. When’s the last time you had sex.” as I stare her down and she goes “omg” and giggles…then I’ll pull her in by that hand and put her arms over my shoulder and my hands on her hips and turn as I do it so her back is to my buddy, and from there I escalate shit and claim my space and then we can resume with the rest of the group, but I’ve already solidified her attraction for me. Like, through all that, she doesn’t even have time to process that other better looking guys are around me. Those guys don’t exist.
“I opened a five set, 3 dudes and 2 girls. Dudes are good-looking, buff, etc. I roll in, play games with the group, engage the target. I think it’s going horribly (target actually starts asking me the questions from above, but I do THE SAME GODDAMNED thing and joke about it)”
So ignore your externals for a sec…what internals did you use here? Well, you approached a girl at all, that’s confident. You approached TWO girls at once, that’s really confident. You approached two girls at once in a set with DUDES. That’s REALLY confident. You approached two girls at once, in a set with *3* dudes. That’s SUPER confident. You approached two girls at once in a set with 3 good-looking buff dudes. That’s through the ROOF confident. Then on top of that you play games with the group and engage one of the hot girls you want…right in front of the guys, who might be her boyfriend or might kick your ass…That is off the charts confident and socially savvy and cool.
And then you think when she shoots you iois asking questions that it doesn’t make sense for her to be attracted to you? To all that that I just described? What girl WOULDN’T want to fuck that guy? lol Like I say, your brain is looking at “well I just played some games and teased her a little”, which is external…it hasn’t registered where your internals are now.
“so she cools and starts whispering to the leader of the chode group about me. I sigh and eject soon enough”
Ya, ’cause you didn’t jump through the window. But you know you didn’t…your sticking point right now is just that your brain is having trouble accepting that these windows are appearing so fast for you now or that they’d be there at all. You have 20-some years of Old Scray wiring up there that’s used to never getting windows…your brain is trying to unwire that and rewire it, but it’ll take time and reference experiences and this is why you have to keep going out. 😉 Your brain can’t rewire itself without the reference experiences it needs.
She may have been saying to them “sorry about this guy…we don’t even know him.” But she’s only saying that because her mouth isn’t busy…with your mouth. 🙂 Like, it’s not that she didn’t like you or that she’s a bitch, it’s that you didn’t take the ball anywhere so as a self-defense mechanism for her own ego and her frustration/disappointment at you not taking things anywhere, she has to turn against you because what if one of those 3 chodes turned out to be cool and she fucked it up with them for a guy who drops the ball?
“A few minutes later, those girls walk down the club hall and see me and they’re like ‘there you are! those guys were so lame!’”
🙂 Now imagine you had escalated that interaction when you met them all, and you had 3 chode losers to babysit the cockblocking uggo friend for you while you take this hottie down? Just reach out and take her. 🙂
“The target seemed to like me”
Of course she did! Like I say, look at all the boss internal shit you demonstrated walking up, on top of your solid externals. Why WOULDN’T she like you?
“but her uggo friend wasn’t having it.”
If only you had 3 desperate chodes to babysit her for you while you “let’s go grab some food, I’m starving. We’ll be back in a minute, it’s fine, your friend is with these 3 good-looking guys, she won’t even notice you’re gone, come, let’s go, it’s too loud here I want to get to know you better, we’ll be right back.” 😉
“I’m telling you, there’s starting to be this weird inversion where uggos are averse to me lol.”
lol ya this’ll happen. This is again the internals/externals thing. You’ll run external game on them the way you did when your internals were low, but your internals are high now, so a lot of the cocky/funny stuff will just come off as assholish/cruel to them and they’ll think you’re making fun of them or trying to tool them etc. even when you’re just flirting and being friendly.
Don’t stress it, it’s their hangup not yours. You can fix this problem down the road. Basically just dumb yourself down for them…like be cool/chill, VS being flirty, because they’re insecure and will assume flirting is tooling them. Plus now you’re another attractive guy hitting on their friend while they get no attention. This is where you befriend guys and pass her off to them lol…most guys, even those good-looking rich tall jacked guys, are desperate for pussy and can’t get it on their own so they’ll take your scraps and leave you with a clear path.
“Going out alone is pretty hard. I’d say I’m only at like 20-30% when I’m out alone.”
All good. This is natural. NO ONE can do it. Like, NO normal guys. Even my best Natural buddy who can cold-approach and slays it all the time, is scared to arrive at the bar by himself and will go out of his way to meet up with me ahead of time just to avoid walking in solo and out of state terrified.
Tyler has a lot of videos on building momentum that might help with this, but it mostly comes down to the more you do it the more your brain realizes nothing horrible is going to happen and the more it allows you to be yourself. Combine that with the externals of learning to approach instantly, always be in set, approach the fun happy energy girls even if they’re not the hottest, etc. and you’ll get better at solo.
“‘you have NO IDEA, how is this relationship supposed to get off the ground if you don’t help?’”
Perfect. I use this kind of thing all the time. Imply that you’re in a relationship together already, break up, make up again, act as if you’re debating dumping her for whatever she’s doing…all sorts of stuff, they love it. I ramble into “it’s not you, it’s me” all the time…and then when they do something good I go “oh!! whew! okay i love you again, we can be together.” and pull her in. This kind of stuff is retarded but it all helps avoid a friend to friend vibe and sets a man to woman sexual relationship vibe.
I’ll also use “this relationship clearly isn’t going to work out…we’re going to stick to just using eachother for shallow meaningless sex.”
“‘there are a lot of reasons it’s not going to get off the ground (smirk)’
‘….now you’re talking to me, all right, hit me with it (leans against bar, looking at club)’”
awww, cute, she thinks she’s going to shit-test you. 🙂 And what does it mean when a girl shit-tests a guy? Does she shit-test a homeless smelly ax murderer? Nope. she shit-tests guys she has a spark of attraction to.
“‘….really? (glances down at her feet)’
‘Heels count!’”
Solid play here. You didn’t even have to SAY the heels thing, but you’re shit-testing her just with your glance/expression. Lots of sub-communication, and she picks up on it and technically, by saying “Heels count!”, she’s qualifying herself to you. Do girls qualify themselves to a homeless creepy drunk? Nope. They qualify themselves to guys they’re attracted to.
“‘All right, whatever. Next?’
‘….well, you’re really courageous. I like that.’”
So now she’s gone from shit-testing you to ioi’ing you. What did she do next, club you over the head with the Clue Bat? Like in my reality, this is a 100% blinking green-light to escalate and end up fucking this chick.
“‘Whoa, whoa….we’re talking about why you -don’t- want to be with me, remember?’
‘ooooh, ya!’”
Now you’re teasing her, assuming attraction, AND she’s roleplaying along with you in a flirty way.
If you didn’t have sex with this girl……..why? (serious question) This was a done deal. And again look at your internals here…you’re assuming attraction from the start, teasing, screening her, WELCOMING her shit-tests instead of being terrified of them because you KNOW you can handle them.
Again, why WOULDN’T she be attracted to you after all that? Just reach out and take her. 😉
“Cougars. lol. At least five times I’ve been assaulted by cougars. They’re kind of pushy too…..like, they open me, they ask me a bunch of questions. There’s always one who’s super into me. Bleh.”
lol. You’re too young for that shit, stick to hot young chicks unless you feel like going for a cougar. Some of them can be hot/fun/etc. and they usually take a lot less game. Like they’ll tell their friends “I’m going home with this guy” and their friends will say “you go girl, go get some!”, VS 18yo’s who are like “OMG SARAH WE HAVE TO GO HOME TOGETHERRRRR1!!!” like retards lol
But ya, just use em for social proof or to warm up etc. unless you CHOOSE to bang one. They come with a ton of baggage usually. You can actually learn a lot about what hitting the wall is like for a woman and what the future of a lot of the young chicks you meet will be like, from hanging around cougars lol
“State. I haven’t been in state for like…..weeks. It’s kind of liberating to know you can just go out and get it going no matter what mood you’re in.”
Good. Being state-dependant is tough. If you can consistently GET into state, it’s great…but it all comes down to the 7-11 test: aka whatever your game style is and whatever your vices for it are, if you saw a gorgeous 10 in a 7-11 on a sunday morning when your hair was messed up and you were completely out of state…could you approach and get her?
You’ll find that if you stop going out for a while, you’ll end up becoming state-dependent again. This is natural and frustrating. Battling state-dependence will be the biggest internal struggle that will haunt you forever lol
The trick to not falling back into it is to go out every day, even for 20 min a day, and approach when you’re out of state and build reference experiences that you don’t NEED state to approach. That’s why a lot of pickup coaches aren’t state-dependent, they approach every single day all day long, so they numb that feeling of needing to be in state. But most normal people have normal jobs/school/lives/etc. where they can’t approach every day, so they fall back into state-dependance.
“Clubs. In a city famous for its nightlife….these are such great practice grounds. So many hot girls, so many fun interactions. Plus, you go there more and more, the staff start to take care of you. All they see is you talking to girls like a mack — so when they say ‘hi’ that’s the image they have of you = great social proof to hot girls.”
🙂 Good stuff man. Tyler makes the point that clubs are designed for you to have *FUN*. They’re not designed to intimidate or scare you (except for some exclusive high-end new york type clubs). They’re designed for you to let loose, feel the music, get drunk, forget about work, and just have a blast.
But a lot of guys who get into pickup, or a lot of guys who don’t go out much, HATE clubs because they’re scary and loud and chaotic and there’s AMOGs and they’re annoying and girls are bitches and wah wah wahhhh…it’s such a retarded mentality to get into. I LOVE the clubs, there’s so much energy and everyone’s done up and in a good mood. I’m psyched when I get to go out and I walk in the door with a smile on my face, not because that’s a pickup “move” but because I know I’m going to have a blast.
“Ya, I think I’m good to just start going out 4-5 nights a week now regardless.”
If you can do it, do it. Even 20 minutes a night during the week and then keep the big nights for the weekend, is a decent setup if you have a busy schedule. It’s not so much that you approach 50 sets a night, it’s that you go through the motions of “I’m out and I’m social and I approach people and talk to whoever’s around me and that’s just what I do” and build that mentality in your brain.
I was hanging with a good buddy once, and this guy dominates every room he’s in. Total social butterfly. I was staying at his place once and tagged along with him for his day. EVERYTHING he did involved being social…from chatting with the clerk at the supermarket, to dropping in on a buddy at work not for any purpose, just to drop in and shoot the shit for an hour. So of course when he hits the bar, he’s warmed up and his brain is like “ya, we just talk to everyone around us, that’s how we roll”.
“I mean, it’s starting to become a little more difficult because I’m getting more social circle invites”
lol. I remember when you were complaining that no one would invite you out to things and you had to chase them down to get invited…now they’re an inconvenience. 🙂
“so sometimes I’m like ‘ya, gotta make an appearance.’”
What a boss. What girl wouldn’t be attracted to this guy? Just gotta’ reach out and take ’em.
“There were several times during the 30 days where I just had to cold approach while in the context of a social circle gathering….so there’s a section of my social circle right now that just loves to razz me/hear my ‘going out cunting’ stories. I don’t mind telling them, because I mean, even if they tease me about them or whatever I don’t give a shit….because I’m way tighter than they are lol”
lol whatever, that’s normal. You’re doing something that they can’t do…they’re living vicariously through you, and if they give you shit it’s just projecting their own insecurities because you’re at least attempting to do something they wish they could do. But you already know this, because your internals are tight. 🙂
“I never drink when I go out. It’s to the point where I’ve gotten so many waters at so many different clubs/bars that bartenders are like ‘lol do you even drink? you just come here, hit on girls, and get some water.’ And I’m like ‘hahaha ya, sometimes I need to hydrate…’”
lol good man. Keep this up. You’re learning to game “clean”. Every guy who learns to game relying on crutches ends up hitting a point where he gets frustrated at his crutches holding him back and ends up having to start over from the bottom doing what you’re doing from the start. You’re saving yourself a lot of frustration and setbacks down the road by building good habits now. It’s like growing up in a household where your parents cook you healthy meals and instill good dietary knowledge/habits in you…VS growing up in a household where your parents feed you McDonald’s and pizza and twinkies every day. When you get to adulthood and have to handle your own shit, the good-habits guy is going to have a way easier time handling his shit than the twinkies guy who’s going to have to start over from scratch the way he should’ve been taught to from childhood.
LikeLike
Scray!
Congrats. A quick tip:
“My calibration re: when I’m getting them interested is fucked up. Like, I’ll open a set and within five-ten minutes, they’ll start asking me questions like ‘hey what are you? (ethnicity) what’s your name? what do you do? etc…’ and my mind’ll be like ‘nah, just joke around about it you haven’t done anything to earn it yet’ but like, lol….I think I’m wrong. Because when I do this they don’t seem to like the fact that I joked about it. ”
These are major IOIs when they are trying to get to know you. One thing I notice in NYC, when I open direct, within 5 minutes girls would ask me my age. I feel like regardless, answering directly wouldn’t do me any good so I decided to make a routine on this because the age question is an IOI so why not escalate?
Her: What ethnicity are you, Scray?
Scray: Well lets play a game, if you guess it right you get to kiss me.
Her: And if I guess it wrong?
Scray: Well, I get yo kiss you.
Her: (Giggles) okay…(guesses)
Regardless of the guess, act like it’s now time to go in for the kiss. Just do something on the lips nothing crazy with the tongue. Two seconds max. This has worked for me and it immediately takes an IOI and ups the escalation. Give it a try Scray because one thing I notice, when they do an IOI like that (asking about age, race, job, etc), if you give a cocky/funny response, you sort of miss this window and go into dancing monkey territory. At the same time, the times I’ve given serious answers, it hasn’t always worked out.
Perhaps I should focus more on shifting away frtom dancing monkey-mode but try the guessing game and let it segue into a kiss. Best of luck and awesome work bro!
LikeLike
That sounds solid, I’ll try it. I already do guessing games but I don’t really ever use them to up the stakes…(lol…DOY…)
LikeLike
LikeLike
By the way, a little treat for guys who are having problems maintaining a hard cock while wearing a condom. Now that’s some off the grid game.
LikeLike
Good suggestion. I’ll pass it on. 🙂
LikeLike
Similar situation happened to me. tell me what you think. Not looking to bang this girl,which is probably why I handled it as well as I did lol.
(via text)
her:omg u don’t even have a twitter or instagram why not?
me: Nope. Sorry I’m not an attention whore with the attention span of a fruit fly
her:oh so I am?
me: these are your words,not mine. You’re oddly defensive all of a sudden.
her: but it’s so good for keeping in touch with people,you should get on it.
me:if I need to talk to someone,I’ll text them. Or send a raven (we had just talked about Game of Thrones,figured I’d throw a reference in there)
her: lol
we go on to other subjects,etc. How was that?
LikeLike
I met this chick like a week ago at a summer shore house. Hot, 8, has a boyfriend but I have a feeling that’s not exactly gonna stop her completely. Anyway she probably has lots of hot friends too. Issue is she wants me to add her on facebook and my facebook is horrible. I added it late, I have only barely over 100 friends, I have few pics. part of the reason I have few pics is that my social life is overall pretty bad, which I am trying to change. I’m getting the feeling I should probably not add her, right? Or is there a way I can cockily message her to divert attention from my bad facebook?
LikeLike
Let the friend request sit until you’ve been her boyfriend for three months.
LikeLike
Don’t add her. Keep the mystery. Infact, don’t add her until you’ve banged her enough times that you don’t give a fat flying rat shit about it anymore.
LikeLike
Some golden advice from Bill Burr.
LikeLike
Her: Why don’t you use Facebook?
Me: I don’t need to
LikeLike
Being friends with a “target” on facebook is fools play.
You need to stand out from the crowd, set yourself apart.
Being friend number 2267 will not achieve this.
LikeLike
“Because I can’t read cursive.”
LikeLike
I damn near choked on a chicken wing.
LikeLike
[…] but see it this way: the freedom engendered by feminism is simply returning us all to the state prior to civilization where the alpha males had always […]
LikeLike
If you’re not the customer, you are the product being sold!
Good one!
There is a breed of intellectually compliant sheep genetically engineered in the last century to mindlessly tolerate totalitarianism…
This is so. I find that even when you spell out to people whose rights are being violated (say by the TSA) they still go along with it because “if you have done nothing wrong there is nothing to worry about” or “the government is protecting us.” Other people have long since resigned themselves to what seems to be the Cult of the Omnipotent State.
The people who have taken the Red Pill are generally the outliers.
LikeLike