A grateful reader writes to say thanks to the demidongle of CH for changing his love life for the better,
I have to start out by saying thank you for this site. It has certainly opened my eyes and cured me of my societal conforming. Like most men I have had a couple good relationships, a couple bad, and some flings, ons’s in between. Your typical guy if you will. To preface this e-mail I had a 7y relationship as a young man and a couple year and a half ones up until this point. The first one taught me a lot about life, love etc. the ones that followed them were shit. In July of this year I met my current gf. After assessing this relationship time and time again I realize she is one of those girls that needs a guy in control, but if you’re not, she fucking hates you and the resentment infects her body like the plague. Ive seen both sides of it. Her undying affection and love; and her seething resentment. Her dad was absent in her life therefore she tends to overcompensate with the “control” of her life. She’s never trusted anyone to take care of her but herself. A wall to break through for sure.
Im one of those guys who learned to not care too much about the women I didn’t care about (naturally), and care a lot for the ones I do care for. So an aloof alpha when it didn’t matter, and a beta when it does. [ed: a common male malady] So I got into this relationship and things went fantastically for a few months and then she started in on me about things. From how we were before in the honeymoon phase I just figured well I’ll do what she wants and Ill be fine. Wrong. I couldn’t figure out why she was still requiring more from me after doing what she wanted. She was still unhappy. “you aren’t doing this”, “you aren’t doing that” “I cant live like this”… So I supplicated more, and more, until my brain was going to explode from the confusion. We had a few blow out fights that was basically my frustration for her unhappiness exploding, and her continuing to complain. I told her “you ask me to leap and I fucking leap, what the hell else do you want me to do?”. But she would still tell me that she loved me even though at the same time she was telling me she was unhappy and treating me like a doormat. She never stopped telling me she loved me. Which probably confused me more. My fight or flight response was on FLIGHT but something kept me there..
So I was fed up, had no solution to the problem, I do love her and with my mr fix it attitude in full effect along with my commitment and resiliency.. I needed a solution. So I found your site… read the commandments. Read the beta/ alpha posts. Keeping attraction in a relationship. The story about the experiment with the husband and wife was especially eye opening. So from reading a lot of the posts that pertained to myself I decided to do what seemed counter intuitive. I chilled the fuck out, mentally strengthened myself and decided to love her fully even through her storm of emotions. One of the commandments states:
“Her emotions are a hurricane, her soul a saboteur. Think of yourself as a bulwark against her tempest. When she grasps for a pillar to steady herself against the whipping winds or yearns for an authority figure to foil her worst instincts, it is you who has to be there… strong, solid, unshakeable and immovable.”
So I stopped supplicating to everything. I started defending myself. She’d ask me what I wanted and then shit test me with “well why would you do it like that, that makes no sense, that’s stupid” So I said “you asked me what I wanted, I told you, and you aren’t happy with that. Don’t want my opinion, don’t ask for it” she just about fell over. I stood my ground. She left for work pissed but I didn’t go after her. I ignored it. She called me about 2 hours later to make sure everything was ok and was overjoyed to talk about what we were going to do that night for dinner. It was peculiar but I just went along with it. She came home and was like an excited girl again. A small victory. And a promising insight into her psyche. There have been many times since then (about 3 weeks ago) that she’s done the same and I’ve stood my ground. In that time she’s gone from seething resentment to joyful love again, which I enjoy along with the increase in fucking that has come because of it.
The last thing I’d like to say is that the guy I’ve been for the last month since finding your site is the guy I have always been. I just thought that since I cared so much that I needed to conform to her wishes to make her happy. But she just wanted a man who was a fucking man and was going to put her back into her place. In turn that made her love even more, and come after me. She was testing my ability to lead the relationship and I was failing. She knows exactly what shes doing, and so do I, I just didn’t understand it. She was shit testing me every fucking day. So I stopped coming after her about what is wrong, why she’s quiet, just let her fucking be. The other day sitting on the couch she looks at me and says “I need you” I said “ok”, “no like I need you, I don’t know what I would do without you”…
Shes crazy. But my ultimate success is taming her, it’s a fucking game. It always is. I get off on it as sadistic as that seems.
Thanks Chateau Heartiste. You rock. You can use my story but please no personal information. And just because I know you get a lot of trolls I can tell you I most certainly am not. Hopefully some shit made sense in my rambling. Thanks again.
When strangers seeking answers amble across Chateau grounds and peer into its dusty libraries, two kinds of reactions follow:
1. Screeching and shrieking about the horror of this place, or
2. Solemn thanks of appreciation for saving a life.
Some people you just can’t reach. But some… they’re ready to be happy. The door is always open for them.
His story could be mine, but the gf I had then was a much worse bitch. Tamed her anyway, with your guidance.
Then got the hell free and beat feet for the Fields of Snatch. Thanks.
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“beat feet for the Fields of Snatch”
not since the lost gunslinger have i read more beautiful prose
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No buns in her oven? Shame
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Incredible work.
This post and the one about Dave from Hawaii need to be mandatory readings for any man entering an LTR.
To go further, the mentality that’s learned from both posts is a way to level up your interactions with women.
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Dave from Hawaii post:
https://heartiste.wordpress.com/2009/08/14/relationship-game-week-a-readers-journey/
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Agreed. That’s the article that did it for me. When I read those real-life before and after relationship interaction examples, I finally broke through my life-long beta blockers and accepted the red pill like a Snuggie. CH should def post that shite at the top of his page.
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Taming a difficult, shit testing woman is great fun. When an irresistible force meets an unmovable object, the result is fireworks. And tingles. Lots of tingles.
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> “I stood my ground. She left for work pissed but I didn’t go after her. I ignored it. She called me about 2 hours later to make sure everything was ok and was overjoyed to talk about what we were going to do that night for dinner. It was peculiar but I just went along with it. She came home and was like an excited girl again. A small victory. And a promising insight into her psyche.”
LOL’ed.
> “There have been many times since then (about 3 weeks ago) that she’s done the same and I’ve stood my ground. In that time she’s gone from seething resentment to joyful love again, which I enjoy along with the increase in fucking that has come because of it.”
If some filthy damned YKW psychobabbling conman, on a 30-minute infomercial for his product, were to tell you that he could teach you how to get very noticeable improvements in your own lovelife within a mere two hours, and, using the very same methods, how to completely pwn your own lovelife within only 3 weeks, and if you actually believed the YKW to be speaking the truth, and if you were ready and willing to send him the YKW-geld, then how much would you pay for his videotape?
$49.95?
$149.95?
$499.95?
Rediscovering your own masculinity – or simply just REMEMBERING that you ever had a sense of masculinity in the first place – might be the single most positive step which you can ever take towards improving your own lot in life.
An afternoon spent perusing the Man-o-Sphere, and thinking about the lessons to be gained therefrom, is worth infinitely more than a year of your time and $10,000 spent on “marriage counseling”*.
Also, the little real-life examples which dudes post to the Chateau are simply priceless.
Learn the theory.
Then memorize the real-life examples.
*Which really ought to be called ANTI-marriage counseling.
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Do you have a link for that one IM?
And what story was he refering to regarding: “The story about the experiment with the husband and wife was especially eye opening”.
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right here:
https://heartiste.wordpress.com/2013/12/20/a-woman-needs-a-man-to-put-her-in-her-place/
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copy and paste to search bar:
A Woman Needs A Man To Put Her In Her Place
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I pasted the hyperlink but that got moderated so until it comes thru, Google this:
“Relationship Game Week: A Reader’s Journey Heartiste” and click on the first link
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:,)
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Next semester: Alpha advanced 101
Instructor: WF
Course name: Rape!!!!!
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That’s a good story. Glad to hear he was helped. Guys really need to become men. We get too little encouragement to grow up these days, and become to passive, take too little responsibility for ourselves and our relationships. We should always strive to improve and be the kind of man who can lead, and lead well.
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All this shit testing and bad behavior from women should not be tolerated though I don’t think. It’s not just men not being men, it’s women not being women as well.
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“it’s women not being women as well”
I would argue it actually is women being women because they are shit testing to try give the guy a chance to man up. They go up and up and up until it simply bursts. Women are biologically programmed to this.
They shit test, we smack it down. Simple as that. Night follows day.
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Go look at a picture of an American woman from the 1940’s-50’s and compare it to now and tell me there’s not a difference. Heartiste has covered how they’re even physically more masculine on average now.
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And feminism, women’s suffrage, etc., are shit tests that we have collectively failed.
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If even the Spartans failed their shit test, what hope have we?
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Ak 47’s and Nukes.
And Guantanamo bay for the worst ones.
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The generation that created the reputation is not the same generation that failed.
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Nonsense, women will shit test you if they are interested in you. Blowing those shit tests out of the water is how attraction is built
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Women need to shit test you. The more you pass them…the less they do it.
The more you fail…the worse they become.
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Yeah but I think women shit test men a lot more today because the culture is so influenced by feminism and misandrist attitudes.
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Exactly. Feminism has created a demand for more and more alpha men. Shit testing is one way to find them.
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See my whole thing is I know that this is true but it would just make me hate the bitch and want to get a new one.
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domestic violence game FTW! Oh, and rape!
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Aint there any bitches out there who are simply nice and easy to get along with?? (And hot,o’course…)
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No.
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Negative.
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Sure there are… until you cross ’em.
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Nope
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Not if she’s attracted to you. That’s not the nature of attraction. Being nice and easy to get along with is like being a big dog. Her role is to be a yapping puppy.
If she’s not attracted to you, of course, it’s much worse.
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No.
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Nice women do exist, but they are as rare as a $10 million winning number lottery ticket…
It is better to learn to deal with the bitchiness and irrationality of women than to try to find a non-bitchy one who is rational.
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I’ve come to understand that being a non bitchy, rational woman is the worst possible thing a woman could be. It is barely a woman. It strives to unmake men by making things easier for them.
We were raised by very well intentioned alpha dads who instilled in us the importance of obedience, and made it very easy for us to do. We forever seek that man who is as worthy of complete or near complete trust and obedience like our father.
…but we need to challenge you so that you have to earn us, and we need you to scare us so we earn you. It’s the spice in the dish…the little bit of pain in the pleasure. Without it, a relationship is boring and little more than a business transaction.
I bored my first husband this way. If I had to do it over again, I’d have been extremely difficult until he punished me for it a few times. He’d have to struggle for every inch of compliance…but the way to go about this isn’t by trying to be a man…more like an octopus. A woman should be slippery and a guy should have to secure every bit that he wants to keep within his grasp at all. Once you drag us from the sea, every choice that isn’t the safety of your bucket should feel like the cooking pot.
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Negress, please… could your hamster grow any bigger?
One of the biggest complaints of your men is that you negresses are true harridans… as you’ve exhibited all-too-many-times here… in spades (pun intended.
And now you’re here rationalizing it as something to be admired and emulated, lest men get bored?
Christ Almighty, not even YOU could possibily believe such tripe.
(Fark, every time I figure I’d just continue ignoring this black flake she comes out with something that demands more than a shakin’ of de haid.)
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I agree with her though: too nice can be boring. Men like a little zip 🙂
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Greg, it amazes me that someone so ready to point out the differences between “races” would show such denial that different cultures have different mating dances. Also, I specifically stated that being manly or a “harridan” was not the way. Being difficult for the underqualified to ensnare, and being a harpy who repels everything are different things.
…but let us explore, shall we, what dating and shagging out of pity has earned the African woman.
Fuck all. So I don’t recommend it. Just as a woman should be holding up her end, a man should be holding up his, and whoever isn’t holding up is not worthy to mate.
Having low standards just makes you a slut. It’s bad enough that people think we’re the ugliest women in the world, but to be easy on top of that doesn’t suit us well. If we’re going to be easy, we should be easy to the guys who are manly enough to be easily providing some security, protection resources, and hey, maybe even love if they can manage it for such disgusting creatures that all of us surely are.
Nature has no pity for the stupid, and since an ugly girl is still a girl, she should optimize whatever advantage that gives her.
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I agree with her though: too nice can be boring. Men like a little zip 🙂
Well then, let’s see if we can get Rap’sDaughter on board, and the issue’s settled. :wry:
As usual, the hamster has its own dictionary… sigh.
Dumb cooze… boring is boring… nice doesn’t mean you can’t be funny, scintillating, sexy, etc., etc., etc.
I know, I know… I should have my head examined for my wild imagination that women would be able to think beyond two dimensions.
And change that latest avatar pic… you look washed out… it’s as if Nicole Kidman aged a decade and lost her charging privileges at all the cosmetic departments on Rodeo Drive.
(((shakin’ mah haid)))
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Greg, it amazes me that someone so ready to point out the differences between “races” would show such denial that different cultures have different mating dances
Well, Ah stands co-rected!
Didn’t realize you were speaking strictly on behalf of coloured girls… didn’t see anything but a vast generalization in your previous post’s:
I’ve come to understand that being a non bitchy, rational woman is the worst possible thing a woman could be. It is barely a woman. It strives to unmake men by making things easier for them.
And if you meant it strictly for your own kind, I still have to stand by what I hear the bruthas squawk about in re bitchiness, attitude, etc. of the sistahs.
It be all over de ‘nets… to the point where it’s become even a running joke all the way from pop culture entertainment to the (ahem) White House.
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In a perfect world, a woman can be nice and not treated like crap as a reward…but this isn’t a perfect world. It’s boring because it’s niceness, and not because the niceness was lacking some extra something other than sufficient scarcity.
Niceness in women should be expensive. It should cost investment.
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I’m sensing a kinder, gentler Nicole… new year’s resolution, perhaps?
For the record, I like it… credit where due.
Now I’ve got to start working on my resolution… to live more by grace than nature in 2014.
Thanks for the silent rebuke, even if it wasn’t intended… a wise man loves a rebuke.
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Kate,
Err on the side of too nice, that is unless you are worried he can’t go past 9:30 keeping the lunch money. In that case I suggest the more predictable maniacs.
It will not have any other social benefit. Like any test, it does not purify the metal. It merely verifies.
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Every predator, receiving a kick or a scratch from its prey, wishes the job of catching food were a bit easier. This is how you should interpret African American men’s complaints about African American women’s attitudes.
The African American men who are not predatory against African women in particular, have the same complaint about American women in general, and just note that African American women are particularly ill suited to behave so stupidly.
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Nicole
I’ve come to understand that being a non bitchy, rational woman is the worst possible thing a woman could be.
—————————————————————————————————–
What have you done with the real Nicole?
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Still here, just melted off enough of the adipose alien that was attached to my body to get some air and spit some new perspective.
It is dangerous for me to be as kind as I was when I was bigger. I’m still big, but apparently no longer heavy enough for it to be a factor in portability for the kinds of dudes I used to be half invisible to, and therefore quite comfortable around.
Don’t worry, I’m not going to lose my compassion for men. I had that long before I was fat, although it was badly expressed. I’m just starting to understand some of the paranoia of smaller women.
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I understand where you’re coming from, but in my experience, the kind of “attitude” one deals with from Black women makes them repulsive. Any woman is capable of being an annoying bitch, but there’s more to it with Black women, they come with a huge chip on their shoulders and I don’t have the patience for it. Thugs on the other hand, they’re always game except when it’s time to help care for the children, that’s not part of the deal. This is what tingles get Black women in the US.
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There is a saying among people who have worked with domestic abuse cases a lot, and that is, “People can get used to anything.” The more real counselors, like myself, go a step further and say, “People can fetishize/get off on anything.”
African American women think they are pretty much stuck with African American men. We seldom want to put it in those terms, but that’s basically what it is. Many African American men are associated with thug culture, even the more intelligent ones who, sometimes lacking or lacking knowledge of other realistic alternatives for paying the bills, do more hustling than thugging. At least half are not even poor, and among the poor there are those who are working poor, but the thugs are a big enough and visible enough chunk of our number that they have become the sort of representatives of ultimate African American masculinity.
When a person feels stuck, but doesn’t want to admit to this feeling, they often end up glorifying or fetishizing the dysfunctions in that hole they’re stuck in.
If you encounter this again, do what my second husband did, and roundly nip that shit in the bud. He cared, not one whit, that he might be perceived as a crazy racist Jew for doing so. When my trust issues reared their ugly head once, he just told me he wasn’t going to take my shit and walked away.
It took a lot of crying, apologizing, and begging to get him not to keep walking.
Mileage varies. Some women you have to walk away from unless or until their behavior improves. Some you need to yell at them completely not giving a fuck, call their behavior what it is, and inform them that they’re not going to play you like a punk, or guilt you into not acting like a man, just because you’re non African. Some you have to physically grab hard enough to make a bruise, look them dead in the eye and tell them they will not disrespect you.
Either way, understand this well: an African woman is still just a woman, and most of us in or from the U.S. are dying for someone to treat us like women instead of dudes with vaginas. Our own men, by and large, treat us basically like dudes with vaginas, so we’re starving.
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I think plainer girls are sweeter. We have to be 🙂
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Lolozozoz. Hey Hearrstsie!!!
Some violent asshokesx can be both alpha and omega at da same timesz!!!
http://www.miamiherald.com/2014/01/12/3867115/as-trial-looms-details-emerge.html
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Why no smile Kate?
Are you doing herron now?
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Does her man know that she’s posting full frontal facial shots now?
http://1.gravatar.com/avatar/98479b69cbc0a1ca54b90bb99b0e9adc?size=840
If I were he, then the bitch would be over my knee for a nice hard spanking.
Sheesh.
Mother fucker is already losing control over his own damned household [if they’re even still together].
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You think I wouldn’t ask his permission before putting it back up? Silly man. Its nice of you to look out for him though and I’ll give him your suggestion!
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“Mother fucker is already losing control over his own damned household”
What gave you the impression Minter was ever IN control? Most married men in this country aren’t.
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Yes, there are. But if you want them to stay that way, you must apply a little game now and then.
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You really think women are all that different?
They are all part of the same emotional smorgasbord. The only thing that separates them is their looks.
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Yes there are differences. Some are more feminine than others. The less feminine ones shit test more I.M.O.
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Au contraire. The more feminine ones need reassurance of their man’s worthiness more constantly and hence they test more.
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I find that feminine women’s ‘shit tests’ are more cute and flirty. It’s like banter. Whereas more masculine feministy one’s tests are harsher and meaner as an extension of their cold barren nature.
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Jesus Christ, there’s a 25,000 word essay right there – if I had the time to write it.
I went to the upscale trendy grocery store yesterday [even worse than Whole Foods], for something that I can’t get at the normal-folks salt-of-the-earth grocery store where I usually shop, and all I saw were manjaws.
Everywhere I looked – manjaw, manjaw, manjaw, manjaw – all dressed in dark dour ugly heavy wool clothing – like a bunch of stern old rod-wielding nuns from one of Matthew King’s most fervent wet dream fantasies.
And uniformly the meanest nastiest most hateful people you will ever cross paths with.
I hate to say it – because my entire life I have felt nothing but sorrow for the ugly chicks – but I’m starting to become much more amenable to the idea that there is a strong strong strong correlation between what we consider to be facial beauty and what we know to be goodness of the heart.
Ten years ago I would NEVER have entertained the possibility of it.
I’m way too much of a White Knight by nature.
I just feel so damned sorry for the ugly chicks.
But not when the Darkness starts rearing its ugly head.
PS: Another huge topic of conversation is how some of the chicks are actually kinda cute in their late teens and early twenties – the Jewesses in particular – but then towards their late twenties, the Darkness starts rearing its ugly head, and it’s as though their facials features quickly devolve into something which much more closely resembles their underlying personalities.
Man, I tell you, there’s a 1500 page mult-volume magnum opus of a series just waiting to be written on that topic.
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Just assume all women do it. Besides even if you don’t have one…the world itself is one big shit test for all men. Either you sink or swim.
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Yessir. This is correct. Most people sink and think its FANTASTIC to be bottom feeding. 90/10
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…the world itself is one big shit test for all men.
Another of earl’s pearls…
Of course, the stakes of pass/fail in those other cases carry consequences far more dire than a piece of trim. 😉
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Yes! And society should be about the busines of helping young men and boys be strong,resilient and resolute for the shit storm ahead.That lil colored boy in the diaper,his momma & daddy teaching him to say “suck my dick”,maybe theyre having fun and laughing at the baby but there also instinctively trying to prepare him for the world of the black male;a tough place to be,and a tough place to try and fuck a sub 300lb woman. Only the strong survive bitchezz
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I’ve heard it said you’re a hillbilly savant…
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Their bitchiness only varies in degrees.
Do I seem sour or “butt hurt” ?
maybe… but if only people knew how nice I am and what kind of crazy stuff women I have been nice to have done to me, then you would understand
3 of them have physically attacked me – bit me, pulled chunks of hair off my head etc etc – and I never hit them back,
one came close to getting me accused of rape even though absolutely nothing happened,
one lied to the police, claimed I had abused her and wanted to kill her, I had to go to court and spend thousands on a lawyer to get me out of this
about a third of women I have dated have cheated on me
one stole $600 from me and then disapeared
almost all of them have screamed at me at the top of their lungs for unimportant things such as my bringing 2% milk when they asked for 1% milk.
I could write a book on the crazy stuff women have done to me but people would think I am making it up so crazy it is.
Either I attract crazy women or most women are crazy.
Nah…we know the answer; most women are crazy bitches.
when women are nice it is an anomaly, their normal state is being bitches.
oh yes they have pathological altruism for third world immigrants, homeless beggars and little turtles in the Amazons, but for the one person who deserves their empathy, compassion and understanding the most, they are cruel heartless irrational violent unforgiving unfair bitches.
Yes I am angry.
and I have every right to be.
No one on this planet has treated me worse than the women I have treated nicely.
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So it’s their fault that you don’t know how the world works.
“every time I roll on my back and show the lion my belly he eats me, oh it makes me so mad”
Get a whip and a chair and STFU
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WTF?
The manosphere warns us women are horrible ceatures, millions of men agree but when I say it you get upset???
Why the hell are you so angry at me?
Are you a woman?
go change your tampon you will feel better.
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Why don’t ya’ll wake me up when its time to blame the white man?
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It is always time to blame whitey.
get with the program!
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Because instead of learning from your mistakes you kept being nice to them and getting burned. Then you blamed the player instead of the game.
“if only people knew how nice I am” – typical martyr. It’s not the world doing things to you, it’s your choices that shape the outcome.
A warning is fine. Just like the sign at the zoo that says DANGER, it’s a LION, it will EAT you. Don’t get angry at the lion if you wander into it’s cage.
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“it would just make me hate the bitch and want to get a new one.”
Ultimately this comes from being insecure and reactive and you can fix it, tho a lot of guys end up going down the bitter path and stewing in a hatred of women which is pretty unhealthy lol
Anyway, think of it like this:
If your son cried because you won’t let him eat cookies for dinner, would you hate him, think he’s a little piece of shit, and want to replace him with a different son? Or would you discipline and teach him?
if your dog pooped on the couch, would you hate him, think he’s a little piece of shit, and want to replace him with a different dog? Or would you discipline and train him?
If not, what do you think the difference is between how you’d react to those things and how you’d react to a woman who tests you?
“Well, a woman is older than a kid, so she should know better by now!!!”
Who would have taught her to know better? Her absent father? The society that encourages her to NOT know better and not take responsibility for her actions, protecting her from the consequences, and in fact REWARDS her for causing drama and running on her emotions?
They’re like children or untrained pets. You resent them for it because you see yourself in them and think “that’s bullshit, no one would let ME get away with that! Why are women such entitled bitches who think they can do what they want!! They should show respect to other people, I had to learn to do it so they should have had to too! It’s not fair that I had to learn that guys will punch me in the face if I’m a dick and they didn’t have to, life was harder for me and that’s unfair!!”, instead of seeing yourself as above them and benevolent like “oh cute, she’s acting out, no one has disciplined her properly and taught her to be a better person…she’ll learn that from me if she spends time around me trying to test me.”, the same way you’d think that about your son or your dog when it tests you.
They’re not bitches, they just don’t know any better yet. Whether you want to invest the time to teach them or not is up to you…you can look for a girl who’s better trained at being a pleasant human being than other girls, and there are a ton of them out there (a big part of how they treat you is how you come off and your vibe, I don’t get a lot of shit from girls these days because they know from the start that I won’t tolerate it).
But they’re not inherently “evil”, they’re simply making sure that you are a guy who won’t cave when life presses you. If you get frustrated and lose your shit over a silly little girl testing you, how are you going to raise the kids you have together? Or the pets you get? Or take care of your family when life gets difficult and LIFE tests you?
They just want to make sure they made the right choice by weeding you out if you’re weak. Shit-tests don’t bother you when you’re solid like an oak tree…if anything the tests become cute, like the notion that she would think her tests would shake your solid roots.
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Yareally— I’m trying to internalize this concept (can’t blame a woman for being a woman) into all interactions. Just tried to use it, I’m wondering if you could give me some feedback on how I’m doing with the below exchange:
Got an email from an ex this week. We’d seen each other for 1.5 years where she was ‘woman in love’, then parted, she moved for work, we visited romantically for two weeks, then lost touch, then circumstances where I unwittingly put her on the spot and she left me hanging. I went no contact for 2 months then the below.
(I can give the whole context if you want. She’s seeing someone now)
—
Hi G,
I didn’t want there to be a long interlude until we spoke again, and though I remain confused and upset about what happened between us, the fact remains that I care deeply about you so I couldn’t go much longer without dropping you a line.
Happy New Year, and I hope Christmas was magical. Write me when you have time xx
HerName
—-
Clearly I noticed that she didn’t bring up leaving me hanging. Calmed myself down. Wondered if 1) she was trying to be nice and start friendship 2) just seeking to resolve her inner narrative that was disrupted two months ago. Probably both –and– she’s a woman. So there’s stuff going on that she doesn’t even know about and I have to lead her through so that she can behave in a way appropriate to me.
So I decided not to fully buy into her frame. “Yes I care about you too” might just mirror back what she’s thinking and put me squarely in the friend zone, or written off. So no obsequiousness. (That email, though muddled, is genuine and heartfelt and she put herself out there a bit. I do care about her and like every guy would love to just express myself but…)
I decided to be nice but talk past what she wrote. Do you think this is the right approach? I’m not desperate to get her back or anything, but I do see this as a learning experience.
—–
Hey HerName,
Good to hear from you, thanks for the well wishes. Hoping your 2014 rocks socks!
It’s been busy here with developments on job front, grant applications, apartment search and of course, Mexico. My niece drew me into a debate on 1) having a unicorn vs. 2) being batman (clearly batman)
Hope the wedding went well.
Stay in touch Gazzzz
——
Should I have given more of an olive branch? I figure it’s nice enough that she can respond without feeling bad about it and it doesn’t put me in the position to be trying to draw her out (chasing). Or should I just get warm and fuzzy and make her mind spin from there?
OR —this just struck me– was it too dry- should I have been more flirtatious masculine?
Thank you I appreciate the knowledge.
Note: Rock socks is something I’ve said to her before. She knows that I’m moving job stuff, had wanted to move with me months back. She knows I went to Mexico family vacation. Her brother got married.
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Yareally – got some good comments on a repost of this, would appreciate any sage advice https://heartiste.wordpress.com/2014/01/14/gaming-attention-whores/#comment-518185
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Yareally – got some comments on this when reposted, would appreciate any advice. CH gaming-attention-whores post comment-518185
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This. Exactly why I’m confident you know your shit better than 99.9% of the community out there.
P.S. Went through your archive as I’ve mention but I didn’t bother to go to the Simple Pickup videos that you mentioned a few times because I once saw one of their videos and thought nah, maybe later. But I went to their YouTube page and saw a ton of their videos and I had tears of laughter escaping my eyes. The one video I have to share is the one for Short Guy Game. This guys is a fookin’ trip. This video (along with the others) proves people should have no excuses:
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a shame that he is still a beta
you fags only find a counter-intuitive way to always try to have control on things
And CH knows this, even if he is an adult virgin. Only reason he posted this was for the praise the guy gave him.
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No homo but you’re a fag
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I don’t know what you mean. What’s counterintuitive about being logical and natural? And then you find you are in control of things. Try it sometime.
You are welcome to think I’m a fag too. Tell my wife, bla bla bla.
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There is no “CH”. This blog is written by several different individuals.
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It’s well written in any case, so I don’t really care. Since I don’t know their names and don’t want to bother with intrigue, I’ll just use “CH”.
I don’t think GBFM is a guy with a writing impediment who can’t stop bumping the l, o and z keys. I think he’s something like an English lit. prof. who is covering his writing style with all that nonsense so his colleagues don’t catch him writing for this blog. His writing is professional quality.
How do you know there are several individuals writing as CH? Do you know more about them?
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How exactly is he still beta? The mindset in the relationship is unmistakably alpha.
Perhaps you’re referring to his oneitis. In which case I’ll just shrug my shoulders and say that game has different uses for different men – whatever his personal goal may be, he’s made remarkable strides with game.
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After a woman has disrespected you as badly as his has I don’t think it’s very alpha to stay with her.
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Don’t get me wrong, it’s good that he’s learned game & grown as a person.
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It’s alpha to step back and decide, somewhat coldly. He should probably include writing down lists of her positive and negative attributes as a way of clearing his head.
Personally I took a step away and came back while I was dating my wife. It’s not commitment yet, don’t let her smooth you into skipping the choice step.
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Here I will do the list for him.
Positives:
1. Boobs
2. Ass
3. Vagina
4. Legs
5. Mouth (when not talking)
Negatives:
1. She’s a crazy BPD cunt.
LplololZzzozz. Make a list. Come on, man.
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The Chateau has had a profound effect on me and, as the commenter writes above, has given me the way to return to the man I really always was. This is beautifully expressed – the modern world damages real men and does not tell us how to live fulfilled lives.
I’m now forty and my experiences of teenage years profoundly damaged me. The Chateau has done so much to realign my values and attitude and for that I am eternally grateful.
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Maybe so… but have you bunned any ovens?
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Don’t ask him about buns.
You don’t want the answer.
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Alas, (yet) another jest… aw, forget it. 😡
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Damn… if true blood American don’t get your jests, what chance do I – a French Canadian – have of getting them?
what oven? why would they be burned?
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American colloquialism for ‘gotten a girl pregnant’–the bun comes out of the oven like the baby comes out of the girl. You probably have similar expressions in French.
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It was an homage to the inimitable Zombie Shane… one of his favorite exhortations is telling every white man to impregnate white women (“put a bun in their oven”), since that’s the only thing that truly matters if there is to be a white future.
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Canadian Friend, its also the Creation story children are taught. God made people like people make bread.
Your color is an indication of how long you were in the oven.
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Has he caught any leprechauns? Gold,Jerry,Gold!
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so.. you game gays?
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Oh God, the wit!!
Gay game is different from breeder game – I’ve always had rock hard gay game, always get the best, freshest ass in the house.
And it bears out a Chateau theory: when you succeed at sexual conquest early, ur own confidence does the work in future.
The gay scene is ruthless though but hard attitude can do a multitude
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Note the hateful homosexual term for normal people: “breeders”. We are only meant to “breed” people that they can prey upon. Sick. Homosexuals are protected by the socialist media, and so they drop their masks and show their true nature, always hating the normal society they couldn’t make it in. Too bad for them that they are doomed. If the socialists they support manage to make the West majority non-White, homosexuals will be the prey, beaten and killed like in Iraq today. Ah, payback is a bitch.
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> “Homosexuals are protected by the socialist media”
Ahem – the YKW media.
The Frankfurt School intentionally unleashed all of this insanity upon us, precisely for the purpose of destroying and eradicating Western Civilization.
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Arbiter
. If the socialists they support manage to make the West majority non-White, homosexuals will be the prey, beaten and killed like in Iraq today.
—————————————————————————————————–
No they won’t. There will be a lot less of them and they won’t flaunt it; but they will still be around.
Nonwhite cultures have always had a place and purpose for homosexuals that functioned in support of the culture and the people. The key was it required a sacrifice. It was not something you chose until you graduated from college or a “phase” you were passing through…
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The ancient Greeks and Romans allowed man-on-man sex, but you still had to breed kids so your city-state wouldn’t have fewer soldiers and get conquered.
Strikes me as a sensible compromise, actually.
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Even back then, azz-f@ckers didn’t get the Good Housekeeping Seal Of Approval.
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If there’s hate, you’re feeling the same, and why?
I have a simpler explanation for “breeder”: we can breed and they can’t. They want to make it sound a little bad, to assuage their feelings of helplessness at their sterility. We have access to the miracle, they are just creating skin on skin friction.
And some of them make a lot of money and could certainly have pussy. I don’t understand why they are gay, but then I don’t have to.
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“”If we could survive without a wife, citizens of Rome, all of us would do without that nuisance.” So proclaimed the Roman general, statesman, and censor Quintus Caecilius Metellus Macedonicus, in 131 B.C. Still, he went on to plead, falling birthrates required that Roman men fulfill their duty to reproduce, no matter how irritating Roman women might have become. “Since nature has so decreed that we cannot manage comfortably with them, nor live in any way without them, we must plan for our lasting preservation rather than for our temporary pleasure.””
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i knew all the PUA techniques before finding the chateau but its only when i came here and started reading that it all clicked and made sense. i could look back on the women i was with after reading this stuff and see it perfectly explained the dynamics of what happened.
CH preaches the greater philosophy behind game and sexual dynamics and really opens your eyes to the world. at first you get a natural tendency towards bitterness at life and women but after a while you just accept thats life and get on with it but with the self confidence that comes from knowing everything thats going on around you. i truly believe that men learning this stuff can literally save their lives
the writing is great too and can make for some serious laughs at times
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Awesome story. I’d be interested to know how she reacts when he moves on, confident in his new Alpha attitude.
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I was thinking that too. She’s definitely saying “I love you” strategically as a way of fixing him in place. Maybe it’s more emotional now, but it’s not his job to care for her. It’s his job to choose.
Tender feelings for a woman have no place pre-commitment. And commitment is marriage or at least engagement. Until then you’re just fucking around, preparing, still in an adolescent stage.
Even if you’re 45 years when you are doing it.
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I teared up while reading this. An incurable beta I am, though the Chateau’s wisdom has been instrumental as well in putting my marriage on a far more stable footing.
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And remember gents…a good firm swat on the bottom is just as good as passing a shit test with your wordsmanship.
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Yes, agreed.
Ass slapping should be a daily ritual.
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i like to paw the shit out of a dime piece out in public. works on 10 levels.
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And gets the 8’s and below really mad at you. I am currently in that same discussion on thoughtcatalog and now a curvaceous (maybe just fat, no pic) woman is telling me that one must never touch under any circumstances without permission. As if results don’t count.
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what’s an 8?
j/k
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Early stages, I threaten to swat her ass. It’s a good gauge if she gets interested.
Always follow-through.
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Nothing gets a chick quite as wet as a jolly good spanking from a man she respects and admires. That shriek when your hand makes good contact is her way of expressing deliciously painful pleasure at your dominance of her. That youtube video of the spank and pie in the face has been posted on here more than once, it may well be staged and has reverb added to the sound, but its still a first rate demo. I am an advocate of the spankological approach because it works. Don’t believe me? Try it then lay back and enjoy the beejes.
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icon = woodpile + ax ???
Old Old Old School Game FTW.
Ancient School.
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A big chopper skilfully employed also causes heavy precipitation.
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This might be one of the good tests, if not the best, for judging her future wife-ability:
Does she willingly submit to a spanking?
If not, next her… I don’t care how many other tests she passes.
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Shane’s reply also serves to highlight a broader point. I’m pretty sure Greg and me are from the same generation that didn’t have PUA/game books and websites. Despite cultural separation our individual experiences are at parity, due to the cycle of the winners of the younger generation learning from the winners of the previous one. The roots of the weeds and tares of modern thought sit in dry shallow salty earth whereas the mighty oaks of ancient wisdom anchor in fertile loam made rich by eons of permeated reality. Learn from the ancient my young sons, spank and spank well and often. The daughters of man will love you for it.
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+1… yeah, we didn’t have all these so-called PUA books and videos… written by (ahem) men that only seem laughable to me.
All we had was screen role models, like Heston, McQueen, Wayne, Bogart, et. al.
Men who could mix it up, if they had to… but by whom often a mere glance or a word sufficed to silence a rival or moisten the panties of a potential conquest.
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Truth truth and truth Greg me old mate. The likes of Russell Brand, 1D, and Justin Bieber would have been the object of pity and derision. Because most modern women are fucked in the head and nearly all men walk around with vacancies in the nut sack these effete nancyboys clean up. We can take some comfort however in the fact that hotties still swoon for the dark side as that at least shows that the essential qualities of manliness still cut it where it counts.
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It is deeply comical how many self-described feminists on OKC are also BDSM submissives (admitting to want to be tied up in bed and so on).. I think it’s a matter of making their natural feminine instincts ‘subversive’ rather than ‘traditional’ so they can follow them.
Sort of the way CH can brand traditional views as ‘edgy’ and ‘controversial’ and therefore make them appealing to dudes frustrated with the nanny-state matriarchy. Rebellion against rebellion is reaction… and two negatives make a positive.
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Interesting second paragraph. As a guy, perhaps I am in no position to comment. But I think there’s a lot of specific how-to information and war stories here, more useful than trying to copy behavior in old movies.
Also, that “traditional” stuff is heavily repressed now and kids are taught for years in school to think differently, so correcting bad habits is difficult but essential.
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Perfect summary.
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Man, between Viva Las Vegas (1964) and The Cincinnati Kid (1965), whoever had a more luscious presence on the silver screen than Ann-Margret?
Damn.
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“See my whole thing is I know that this is true but it would just make me hate the bitch and want to get a new one.”
I agree. It’s like her slapping you in the face and you rewarding her for it by being alpha. But I guess from the female’s crazy biological perspective you have slapped her in the face first by being beta. OTOH female shit testing comes early on in a relationship when they are unsure of your alpha qualifications and need proof so…..god damn evolution!
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No need for this “she did” “I did” stuff. Now you’re in better control of your life. So set your direction. Do you want this girl or not? Do you want to add a girl simultaneously? Do you want to marry this girl, or do you want to marry someone and you’re sure she is not it?
You have the right to do all these things, and I’ve found women never question it. When I dumped my old girlfriend I was trying to be polite about it, but another girl said “so you dumped her.” I said “yes”. And she thought that was totally normal.
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Don’t retaliate, that’s so beta. Plan. Do you want her, want to dump her, want to date another woman at the same time? Think with your large head, you are the decider and can probably achieve what you set out to do.
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retaliation isn’t beta lol. it’s the only entertainment one has when they have the health/money/blah blah thing down pat.
the crazy hot bitch challenge is the essence of life for the superior man.
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Then you’re not being that rock she needs. It’s your choice — certainly if you’re not committed, you’re not committed, and a lot of men act committed too early, out of confusion, comfort or just because the woman you’re with sure won’t tell you it’s OK to keep options open.
Sometimes it wears me out and it’s less fun having to deal with whatever comes in instead of initiating so much, that’s for sure. Such is the committed life.
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married over ten years until a few years ago and fully committed.
you can be both committed and need the challenge of a smart, haughty (ht CH) girl.
the by-product of winning at life (money, stuff, whatever) is boredom after say……30. this of course isn’t true if you are trying to stay out of debt/or build a career.
people at the top just have different problems. shrug.
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turns out you can have enough money/success/stuff and get bored. married over ten years previously (to the same girl! “rimshot”) so ya i get it.
scratching out a meager existence is respectful, but lest just say that we all don’t have the same experiences 😉
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Then you’re not being the rock she needs.
FamilyMan, Tili is just on here to vent his bitterness toward women who won’t go near him. He is not doing any game. His posts are simply two-dimensional loser talk full of bluster. A picture of him would reveal an old, fat, ugly man snarling at his computer screen.
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Well I don’t know about that either, I’ve found some good energy in them.
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yikes.
like i said i would, i forgive you, ya poor wretch.
it must be hard “doing all that game” you do.
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The Bard was onto this a while back:
http://www.online-literature.com/shakespeare/shrew/
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http://www.sparknotes.com/shakespeare/shrew/section10.rhtml
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That is some delightful rationalization in the analysis. Of course, it’s prudent to rationalize to avoid getting an F from your bullying, “false-is-true” lit professor.
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Shades of my own life, my wife did require some taming. But it’s ongoing taming. Willie doesn’t get into maintaining frame and the nuclear escalation of shit-tests when kids arrive, which I think is why there are so many broken families even though everyone knows it’s awful for the kids.
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My experience is that if you help guide her towards focussing on the kids’ well-being, pretty much to the exclusion of all else, then that can go a long way towards moving the relationship forward in a positive and constructive direction.
God help you, though, if you’re married to a filthy stinking cunt who would rather go out dancing and boozing with her galpals than, say, driving her own flesh-n-blood chilluns to piano lessons or swim practice.
I’m not sure how you’d go about taming a witch-whore like that.
In fact, if the serious maternal instincts don’t kick in when the baby comes out, kicking and screaming, then you’ve got a world-class disaster on your hands.
Maybe call her out on it? To her face?
“Wahh Waahhh Waaahhhhh!!! I wanna go to TGIF and drink some 99-cent drafts with the girls! You’re gonna hafta drive the kids to swim practice, mmmkay?”
“Uh, honey, honestly, afterwards, why don’t you just go home with one of your galpals and stay there with her. Forever. Our family could do without your poisonous attitude. It’s killing the poor kids. Just killing them.”
Something like that?
But I’m just guessing – I dunno how you go about “gaming” the pre-divorce positioning.
Just make sure that, when all is said and done, you get full custody.
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I don’t have that situation of inadequate maternal instinct. I’ve heard of it, and thank God it’s not the case for us. My wife has maternal instincts aplenty.
In fact the reason for the escalation of shit testing is that attraction moves from me to the kids. I think this is the problem in many marriages, and “staying together for the kids” is the right way. Some people, frequently women, scoff at that as if there’s something wrong or that’s not romantic enough. But if romance is replaced by parental imperative, there’s no use pretending otherwise.
It was interesting when we sent the kids to camp last summer for 2 weeks. I had my wife back, not a shit test the whole time. She noticed it too. But then when the kids returned, back to normal. This confirms my theory.
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I like how this story isn’t about a woman going crazy for a killer or even an asshole, but rather just preferring a guy who doesn’t act like a submissive dog.
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for once…
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I believe this is not the favorite website in your bookmarks.
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It ain’t like that at all man. It’s just that red pill reality is so soul killing. Every time I see a hot chick go for what is universally considered a bad guy, a little piece of the good guy I’ve always strived to be dies.
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What you thought was your soul is really a set of false beliefs that you have been worshipping. Drop the beliefs. You’ll still be alive.
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I think a lot of people advocate overreaction, which does two favorable things:
(1) the way to break a bad habit is to overcorrect for a while, and
(2) to really feel you have permission for the right attitude and aloofness at the right moments, I find it’s useful to know the next steps that you’ll probably never take. Or maybe you’ll try them later.
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+1. Srs.
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Lolozozozozoz. He’s been with her five months. Tell this guy to come back in a year or three years tell us more about his BPD girl. With a nearly decent girl you get through at least seven months before you even start to have these problems. Notice I said nearly decent girl. I said that because that’s the best one can hope for. There are no truly decent girls.
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Leonard of the TV shot The Big Bang Theory needs your advice. Desperately. In the last episode, with a record 20M viewers, Leonard is groveling to support and please his girlfriend Penny. The more he tries, the more he disgusts her. She wants to marry him, but she is waiting for him to act like a man.
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” … the guy I’ve been for the last month since finding your site is the guy I have always been. ”
Concur completely. I would give partial but substantial credit to CH, it’s not the only reading I’ve done that has helped my head. But alpha is easy, it’s the other stuff that was hard. If you give yourself permission (soon it becomes automatic) to do what comes naturally, well that’s the ballgame.
And yes, I am still generating hatred and bewilderment over on that same ThoughtCatalog thread that won’t die
http://thoughtcatalog.com/brianna-wiest/2014/01/18-things-women-shouldnt-have-to-justify/#comment-1196614654
which is what the most natural sort of statements generate among that crowd. Fine let them enjoy me. 🙂
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A girl on there now volunteered to me “I like you”. Right after I alluded to my wife.
And have been running a tutorial on red-pill, to the anguished screams of several women who just can’t accept that men don’t have to want used-up whores. But the girl in question is a bit smarter than that, and she’s qualifying herself by setting herself apart from the shrews and taking my side. She had earlier called me an “amazing guy”.
Social proof, all the rest, man this shit works.
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Kudo for at least avoiding divorce court in the future.
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A tad OT but look what these bitches with too much time on their hands are up to. Now theyre debating if we should survive. What a shock the antagonists are a 1)Jew pig,as ugly as the Devil himself,and a 2) Irish pig old maid. Twas an Irish-Am feminst named Mary Daly who is considered like the Father of feminism or something- –who first elucidated the Genosex Theory:That feminisms ultimate goal is a queer world where men have been eliminated. Some sick shit. Man, women are so fucking stupid and worthless,goddamn. http://www.munkdebates.com/the-end-of-men
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Try this link: http://www.munkdebates.com/debates/gender-in-the-21st-century
One of the ones saying men are obsolete is Maureen Dowd, a well established columnist in the NY Times.
Haven’t read it yet, but I assume it’s the sort of hypothetical argument like “Resolved, there should be no homework” that they have in school debate clubs. Everyone knows there will be homework anyway.
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Notice the stupid idea was overwhelmingly voted down but that kept the title
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> “One of the ones saying men are obsolete is Maureen Dowd, a well established columnist in the NY Times.”
Given that Maureen Dowd is childless and long since barren of the womb, I’d say that that’s the pot calling the kettle black, if I ever heard it.
And as is traditional over at Jim Robinson’s Free Republic, obligatory face-rubbing in the damned mud:
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We let them walk on us. We let therm walk on us. We let them walk on us. Oh shit they’re walking on us. We better stop this. Boom. No more feminism.
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“Is Maureen Dowd Obsolete?”, a column by Fred Reed:
http://www.fredoneverything.net/Maureen2.shtml
(“Without men, civilization would last until the oil needed changing.”)
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Seems they deleted the story. It must have been too revealing, and they didn’t want to get caught.
For the second link, gee, how did I know right off the bat Hanna Rosin would turn out to be Jewish? Unsurprisingly, j. Hanna Rosin is married to j. David Plotz, editor at the socialiste Slate. Who was put there by j. Jacob Weisberg. But there is no tribalism going on there, no, just a coincidence.
Maybe there’s something about the outsiderness of being Jewish that makes for a fiery feminist type.
–Hanna Rosin
These kind of people repeatedly denounce tribalism/nationalism practiced by others, but it is their own first law. And while Rosin gets married to produce more of her kind, she tries to make sure as few as possible of the sheeple will marry and reproduce. With hangers-on like the Irish Maureen Bridgid Dowd following her lead in order to get paid. Seriously, there are a whole lot of Irish becoming this kind of hangers-on. The hand is always extended to them, a standing offer to pay them to be front figures.
However, Rosin’s and Dowd’s “The End of Men” book is actually not the standard feminist ranting. It seems more of a plan to gain money by a catchy title and exploiting the feminist market, strange as it may seem. Because Maureen Dowd has also slammed Al Gore for being “so feminine he’s practically lactating,”
Hanna Rosin has also said things like, “As we get used to women in power, we are likely to discover that they behave much like powerful men – vain, entitled, always looking for more”, “I deeply believe that men and women need each other” and “If my own current husband was suddenly a stay-at-home dad, it would be emasculating. That would be hard for me.”
So these two, Rosin and Dowd, are trying to sit on both sides of the fence to make money.
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Feminism is worthless. As for Jewish women…well, why do you think there’s so much intermarriage?
Women, on the other hand…the next generation has to come from somewhere.
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” … I realize she is one of those girls that needs a guy in control, but if you’re not, she fucking hates you and the resentment infects her body like the plague.”
THIS APPLIES TO ALL WOMEN.
Of course, this may be quite obvious to the seasoned CH scholars in the ranks, but sometimes n00bs like me have to learn the hard way.
I spent part of my summer vacation with a lovely Swiss 6. Strolled along the beach, dinner at an Italian restaurant (thankfully we went Dutch). Physically, all we did was cuddle and kiss twice, every attempt I made at another kiss/escalation after that was met with “no… no” like fucking Consuela from Family Guy. Basically, after a certain point the tingles turned off and she was just using me to keep her company because her friends were staying too far away.
I even screwed things up further when I sent her a very beta email gushing about what a great time I had with her and how I looked forward to reading her blog and seeing more photos she took of her travels. Since I sent that, it has been complete and utter silence on her end, she’s even neglected her blog and flickr. That is, evidently, the disconcertingly malignant vaginal dryness inducing effect of betaness.
So what have I learned from this experience?
WOMEN CRAVE LEADERSHIP. They want a man with a plan, who knows what he wants, knows what he is doing and has the balls to take control.
DON’T BE AFRAID TO ESCALATE. She wants to be seduced. She wants you to persist through any barriers she puts up, BUT, if she really doesn’t get into it…
WALK THE FUCK AWAY! No more dinners, no more spending time together, no being her fucking girlfriend! Who benefits from that? NO ONE. YOU DON’T BENEFIT because of aching blue balls, not to mention the humiliation, SHE DOESN’T BENEFIT besides a short-term attention fix. DON’T BE AFRAID TO PULL THE PLUG!
No matter how sweet and innocent she may appear to be, DON’T BE DECEIVED! THERE ARE NO EXCEPTIONS! WOMEN CRAVE LEADERSHIP AND DESPISE BETAS!
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I was the typical nice guy who obeyed all the rules I was taught, and I expected to hand a strange girl a flower and have her fall in love with me. I ended up with the kind of desperate marginally attractive chick who will do 90% of the work in making a deal happen. All I had to do was take half a step forward, and I finally got rid of my virginity, and ended up married with children within 2-3 years.
Our marriage worked for her with me the kind of guy who said, “You like sex, I like sex, why don’t we have more sex?” I always used to finish with, “Was it good for you?” I used to hope secretly she would figure out that I wanted her to cook lunch on her day off, and would cook me something I liked.
I didn’t change for her, I changed for me, because I always hated being that much of a pussy on the inside. I just had no idea how to fix it.
So now I get sex if I want it, and if she’s trying to get some from me and I’m not drunk enough or the lights are on, she doesn’t get any dick. Every time we fuck, when we’re finished, she says, “Thaaaaankk you!” with an exhausted sigh. She asks me for sex frequently. I tell her what I want cooked on her day off, and therefore I get to enjoy an edible meal I didn’t have to cook myself one day a week.
Even if you have one of the women who can tolerate someone as totally emasculated as I was, YOU will be happier if you gain possession of your own testicles, and she will be happier in some ways too, while also being sad at losing power in others. Oh well.
Like one of the girls I dated said, in reference to the way I am ruthlessly taking advantage of my wife for my own benefit these days, “Well, isn’t that exactly what she’s been doing to you all these years?”
Yes. Quite.
I wish there were a better solution than cheating though. Keep a personal assistant who pays me $40,000 a year who isn’t too bad to bang if I’m drunk, or pay alimony and live in a trailer next to a meth lab while I deal with bankruptcy proceedings.
My options still suck, but at least I’m making the best deal for myself I can, thanks in large part to CH.
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Sounds to me like you’re pretty well off having avoided many troubles.
(1) your wife is loyal
(2) your wife is not a former whore
but you don’t like sex with her that much so
(3) you have a chick on the side and she PAYS you $40,000? That’s the part I don’t get, but whatever it sounds pretty good.
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> “aching blue balls”
Have you ever dated a seriously religious chick [let’s call her about an HB8+] who would get cuddly in bed, and allow you all the way to about second-damned-base, with your clothes on, but that’s as far as you were going to get without marrying her?
Some of the most intense pain that I have ever experienced in my life.
It hurt so bad that I couldn’t stand up straight for the rest of the day – I’d have to walk around slightly bent over so as to relieve the pain of it.
God, it still hurts just to think about it, all these years later.
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This might be an exception to game. Look at the deal she offered. Marry her and you get a girl who was NOT used up. Maybe a virgin. Probably a keeper.
Not saying it was the deal for you, but she’ll make some guy a good wife. It’s just so rare to find a woman with self control.
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Yep. This realization is a fundamental wake-up call, one of the first, if not the first, switches that turns us onto the red pill.
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I wonder if lesbians shit test each other
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I guess the femmes shit test the butches
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Hard to see how a lesbian, no matter how butch, could pass. This may be a source of the bitterness.
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They’d have trouble nowadays because their masculinity, though lesser than most men’s, has been under as much attack as male masculinity. If a woman doesn’t know that her more feminine partner needs overt possessive aggression rather than passive aggression, she is just not going to do what needs to be done to provide emotional security.
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Les. relationships are famous for blowups, often violent ones, and seldom last long. Women don’t get along and certainly cannot live together even if they are lesbians.
If you’re a femme and want a butch lesbian, won’t you eventually want a real man with a real non-plastic dick and male smell, male muscles, etc? Butch lesbians wish they were men — I guess I can understand that or at least assume it — but I don’t understand the femmes at all.
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In my experience, butches are actually more likely to fall for, or at least feel affection for, men than femmes are. I know it’s counterintuitive, but maybe butches are more likely to be straight tomboys who were propagandized into lesbianism.
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I could see that, actually.
The butch also has interests in common with men.
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Interesting. I’ve wondered about this because I’ve had experiences with women I was convinced were gay (laid back like a guy, not very feminine in behavior or appearance), who seemed to be attracted to me and it had me confused. I was thinking maybe they were bisexual with a slant toward women.
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Looks like a woman needs to be alpha too, to keep the flame burning.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lesbian_bed_death
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That, or she just doesn’t have much to offer her partner?
Rug munching? Anyone can do that, don’t need another woman. I happen to think the hype about how a woman knows how to do it better is just hype. It isn’t nuclear physics.
Vibrator insertion? A woman can probably do a better job of that on herself.
A lesbian has no way to enjoy her partner’s vagina.
So it’s just … something missing there. At least gay men can give each other anal. A terrible idea, but if you’re into it I suppose you’re into it.
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ive never met a lesbian, only girls that have given up.
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I think it’s a proven fact that lesbian relationships have the highest rate of so-called “domestic violence”.
Saw the link somewhere awhile back, too lazy to dig it out again.
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One word: catfighting. lzolzozlz
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Lesbians having the highest rate of domestic violence clearly indicates that their bitchiness which they expect us to put up with is simply unbearable to them.
once they taste their own medicine ( as lesbians would ) once they are the receiving end of constant bitchiness and relentless shit testing , they want to kill each other
no one can stand women, not even women who are into women
I will keep on calling them the weaker sex…and I am being polite.
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This is a really good sub-thread. These are some great points that could and deserve to be explored further.
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lez divorce rate is 3x hetero rate. Gay guys actually have a lower divorce rate than hetero. Common factor, chicks.
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this post and it’s comments reminds me that CH is written for evolving Beta’s and not ascendant natural Alpha/Sigmas.
in realizing this i realize that i’ve been a little hard on Scray, Arbiter, Greatest Beta, MK, and some others.
i’ll try and soften it up.
mea culpa.
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What a load of horsefeathers
There’s the part about just being the man and letting go the rest. That’s important and makes life much easier. But there’s technique to learn all along the way for those interested.
I believe in letting go of revenge. Maybe I’m Buddha. But it seems so simple, and if it isn’t what you would be doing otherwise, why bother with revenge?.
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lol. quit making my points for me.
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We’ll agree to disagree.
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awesome. go read Confucious “the Doctrine of the Mean”. seriously. i think you will like it.
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I liked it. Confucius is good at describing the external result to aim for. For the inner “game” of getting to a place where you have the right energy and balance, I like the Buddhist sutras, or Hermann Hesse’s take on it in “Siddhartha”, or Lao Tzu’s Daoist approach in the Dao De Ching.
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Go hard or go home.
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June says you were a little hard on the Beaver last night.
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thats “a liitle TOO hard” Greg.
no negro can resist a white syntax error.
No demerit, carry on.
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Dude! I don’t write ’em, I just report ’em!
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=you%20were%20a%20little%20hard%20on%20the%20beaver%20last%20night
Alas, (yet) another jest fallen flat!
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It wasn’t an error. tt was at least colloquially correct. But not ebonically so, apparently.
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spoken like a man who has never made a girl go from “harder!, harder! to
*unintelligible*
If she’s still speaking English, you ain’t doing it right.
(Cue Leslie Nielson)
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Um, Tili, you are an “authority” only in your own fantasy. To everyone else your status as a social loser who never dates any women is obvious. You are a keyboard jockey plain and simple.
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wet streets don’t cause rain, kiddo 😉
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From what you’re girlfriend has been saying you’re “softening up” a wee bit too much…
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see what happens when i try to make everyone happy….that bitch.
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Women can do CH, too, I guess:
http://chrome-fox.blogspot.ca/2013/10/the-best-rejection-letter-to-hopeful.html
[CH: The judgment of aging Playgirl harpies is irrelevant to the real world sexual market. Verdict: Not the CH.]
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Comparing the prose of CH to the snark of that letter is like comparing Doeste-what’s-his-name to Matt Groening.
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now goatse and groening……thats a comparison!
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Once you move out of the mindset… you realize what a load of crap the link above is.
Saw this 50s, stout, short, guy walking with a funny twaddle … so many things one could be self conscious about. For 3 seconds social conditioning took over … but then I snapped out of it and realized this short, stout, twaddling guy could be picking up chicks just the same.
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Like comparing F. Scott Fitzgerald to…Scott Baio
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Let’s be fair now… to Scott Baio.
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Playgirl Inc. / Centerfold Division / New York NY 10001
Really that’s the address of their “Centerfold Division”? The corporation has a “Centerfold Division”? Is that where they fold the paper in half and put in the staples?
Right.
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So charming the femtards think this stuff is outdated: http://www.collectorsweekly.com/articles/selling-shame-40-outrageous-vintage-ads-any-woman-would-find-offensive/
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Of course they do!
They’ve got all their coloured boyfriends waxing lyrical about their “stank”.
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Speaking of which, this has got to be one of the all-time best vintage ads:
Chase-Sanborn Coffee Wife-Spanking:
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His insight often reminds me of the experience one has when reading philosophy. You read a line that seemingly goes against everything you ever believed, but its arguments glow so intensely you wonder how you could have once been so stupid.
Game is in itself a journey, I have seen that the benefits of it come from a change in mindsets long-term rather than from immediate gratification. It is an acceleration of life experience. I am 19, and I feel like I have already lived more, seen more and understand more world-truths than the veterans of life. But, that is not a good thing. I feel like I have completely desensitized myself to feeling anything emotional with a woman, I am incapable of falling in love. It reminds me of music, of how wonderful it can be when you listen to it for the first time. And then, you learn how to play the piece through repetition, you play it a room of sobbers but feel nothing yourself.
Back in the day, a few years ago, I got into this due to a complex, as we all do. Coming from the world of betatude, heavy white-knighting and sexual starvation, it got to me so hard I took a year before university just to learn game. 12 months of intense learning, every book ever written read, hundreds of hours practiced. After 3 months of personal therapy, and too many failures to count, virginity was finally lost. What a disgraceful experience. I felt nothing from the sex, as years of masturbation had given me what doctors call “delayed ejaculation”. This is when you are so used to fast strokes and heavy porn imagery that vaginal porn (even raw-dog) with a girl (even an attractive one), cannot simulate the sensation. I had read a lot on sex, and I dominated her for three hours. I finished with my hand. Despite every intention and desire I had to form a relationship with the first girl I managed to lay, the moment the cum shot out the penis all interest dissipated. A nuclear destruction of all long-term desire has overcome me every time since. Meet girl – Game girl “logically” wanting relationship – Sex you don’t enjoy with girl – Never call girl back. The big lesson here was that sex sucked. I didn’t feel shit, and the girl eating up my face went from enjoyable to immediately tiring.
Over time, I pushed myself through everything, and despite my intense desire not to, I got into a relationship with a feminine attractive girl to see if there really was something women could make me feel. I had sex with her frequently working on my sex problem, and once I managed to take care of it, I found that my orgasms were weaker than with masturbation, and I didn’t enjoy the process. There was nothing arousing about some bitch licking my face, or having her nipples in my mouth. When my girlfriend kissed me in public (she was attractive enough that my former self would have dreamed of such a girl), I felt like pushing her away. That “hot” and “unattainable” girl was now a nuisance to me, like a sister but without the emotional bond. The key realization to me was that the mental image of something sexual was far more arousing than the actual thing. You imagine a million dollars and you surround it with wonderful feelings, you get a million dollars and it does nothing for you. You imagine having sex with the unattainable girl, and once you have it the physical sensation does not live up to your prior imagination.
Conversationally, women have never done anything for me. They are boring as rocks. I have never had an interesting conversation, ever, with a woman. I have found that when one gets excited and “falls in love” you don’t get the girl. If you do you grow bored of her after 2-3 sex sessions. If you are aloof you get the girl but you don’t like her, which means she is as useful to than some dude. I am aloof because I genuinely don’t want her in my life. I don’t even want to have sex with her, as sex doesn’t measure up to masturbation. This indeed sounds sad, and contrary, but a proper masturbation session with heavy imagery will be physically more rewarding than sex with a woman. A lot of men cannot cum through sex. Perhaps this is not the case for every single man, but certainly for a huge chunk of them. Others have said that 2 or 3 sex sessions with a girl and then masturbation will beat a 4th. But, lets put ourselves in the best possible scenario. Sex is marginally better than masturbation, at the cost of never feeling connected to someone, of having thought-provoking conversation, of an increasingly negative view of womankind, and of thousands of hours put into game.
I hate to be cynical, but game truly is a life journey, an acceleration of experience. And experience teaches you enough to guide future experience. Game has been wonderful in teaching me these things, but maybe the primary lesson it has taught me is that, perhaps, I should withdraw from it completely. I no longer feel like it is worth it. This is an objective question I, and every player, must pose to himself.
Could I objectively go the rest of my life with just masturbation and be happy? To answer this question I must first ask how much better sex is than mastubation. For me it is worse, for other men only marginally better. But is so much work worth the marginal improvement? I don’t believe so, so the answer to my first question is, objectively, yes. Validation from seducing a girl, fighting demons of the past, keeps me interested until I have achieved the goal. Yet, the goal in itself fails as a reward.
The only other question I should ask is: Could I go the rest of my life without female companionship? The answer to this one is hell-yes.
“Is it worth it?” is a question every player will, at some point, have to pose. Game is a road, and the work put into it is the energy required to walk the road. But, it should be in every man’s best interest to determine what road, or group of roads, and in what priority, should he follow. What goals are going to bring him the experiences that will truly satisfy him, and what work-cost should warrant their pursuit.
I advise game as a way of gaining realization. But, at the end of the day, the goal of it is to determine whether it is a lifelong journey, or a stepping stone towards another.
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Steve, congratulations, you have learned much. You have surely gained better technique than I have ever had at game. I learned much later, didn’t have good physical endowment for attractiveness, and basically had to figure it out myself before the game literature.
You’ve learned that your relationship with a woman will never be that thing you crave. What is that thing you crave? I suspect it’s your relationship with your mother. Understand that a woman never loves anything like she loves her children. Therefore (looking at that fact from another point of view) you will not get the same sort of love with a “romantic partner” as you got (and still get as long as she lives, and will remember after that) from your mother. Your romantic partner, if she has children, will give that love to them, but not to you. To make this realization and get over seeking it from all those women out there is extremely important.
Now you see the world more clearly and, at 19, are still probably in the midst of separating emotionally from your mother (normal I’d say if you have a good relationship with her) and are very let down to find that you won’t find that feeling anywhere else. The romantic relationship is one where the woman requires leadership from you.
To paraphrase, someone asked the Buddha “what do you do after you gain enlightenment”? Buddha answered “the same thing you were doing before you gained it.” Women are out there, you don’t have to fuck them all. In fact, leave some for other guys, don’t stretch them all out. You’ll always have your technique if you want access. Live your life for a while. Graduate from college in a good major, get your career started.
You may want to raise children, have a family. That’s the proper use of sex anyway. For that it’s best to have the children’s mother around. Our cultural norms and institution of marriage are designed to provide the right environment for children to grow up, under YOUR control. You’re probably a bit young to care about this yet.
Choose a mother for your children who is healthy and intelligent (high IQ).
The kids will mostly get your looks and her brains. So don’t marry a model who’s dumb as a bag of rocks. There are smart women, not so many of them, but they aren’t highly demanded by men either. so you can get one. Go hang out at a good university, there are some intelligent women.
[CH: This is horrible advice for any man with a working penis.]
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Steve, I left a longer comment that got eaten …
The bare essential is that the thing you were seeking from girls, that thing you lost along with the betatude, is a relationship like you had with your mother. You will never get that with any other woman, because no woman loves anyone, including her sex partner, like she loves her children.
She loves her children. She is attracted to and desires her sex partner. Therefore he has to lead, she will not provide comfort to him. She is like a child to him, following him. She can contribute usefully though.
It is what it is, you have found the truth and it’s better to know than not to know. Some day you’ll probably want kids, and then I recommend you choose the brightest woman you can find, there are a few and men usually don’t want them, but you’ll have bright children then. Look for clever students in hard majors, or concert violinists, or something else hard and young women who are winning in those activities.
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You have issues. Orgasm from real PIV sex is at least 7,000 times more intense and awesome than one from masturbation. You seem to be an aspy.
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“Conversationally, women have never done anything for me. They are boring as rocks. I have never had an interesting conversation, ever, with a woman.”
Maybe the American women are like that, because here in Mexico where i live i know plenty of charming women, in fact most of the comments i read about complaining how women are dull ,are written in English and likely come from Americans.
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I mean ,i am not a big fan of Mexicans in many things, but i don’t see a problem in Mexican women with that, i am a girl who enjoys the company of Mexican women, they are enough charming, wanna proof? look how charming is this Mexican women (by the way she lives in Japan and talks a lot about Japan) she is one of my favorite youtubers.
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“The story about the experiment with the husband and wife was especially eye opening”
On one had the “story” was a hoax. On the other, even a hoax can accidentally hold a grain of truth, which in this case, helped someone on the path of self-improvement. Should it be called Pious Hoaxing?
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My friend used to travel with the band Chicago about ten years ago. Those guys have been with tens of thousands of women. My friend was being mopey about similar stuff like this. One of the band members shared this bit of wisdom, which I’ve always retained.
“If it’s not perfect the first year, get the fuck out.”
Heartiste’s advice is golden and this guy is doing right by the bits of wisdom he’s shared. But there’s crazy and then there’s less crazy, and if you ask me, she’s slipping into the former really quickly if you both started only dating in July.
This time is the best it’s ever going to be with this girl. Act accordingly.
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Tl dr: guy liked a girl so much he let her get away with shit behavior. Guy grows a sack, peace ensues.
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+1
Things a little slack today at Cliff Notes?
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Ch pats his back. The end
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❤ ❤ ❤ n /// n ❤ ❤ ❤
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@ Beta Man are you single ?
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@ Betaman: another question, do u like Anime ? is my hobby :3 and i wonder if we could watch it together
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“Tl dr: guy liked a girl so much he let her get away with shit behavior. Guy grows a sack, peace ensues.”
That is very true.
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@ Betaman: yesterday i converted to Hinduism, would you mind a Hindu marriage ? since you likely are not a Hindu.
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😦
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I don’t get it. This girl sounds like a codependency nightmare with emotional intimacy issues. If it’s this much work to maintain a relationship with her, why bother? How is this victory?
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Next level would be to tell her to shut the fuck up, I know you need me get over it lets go have sex.
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What happens when the guy in the relationship also has hurricanes of emotions?
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Women are attracted to psychopathy.
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Breakup. Heartache. Nutsack kicking.
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If the guy has a hurricane of emotions, twat punting rather.
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I’ve noticed a lot of dance music contains the death of pretty lies.
“Lana Del Rey – Young and Beautiful”
“I’ve seen the world, done it all, had my cake now… Will you still love me when I’m no longer young and beautiful?”
In which a girl hops off the cock carousel and asks her provider to assure her that he will give her the beta bucks forever.
—
Cole Plante with Myon and Shane 54 feat. Koko Laroo – Lie To Me
“Tell me that you’re the only one you think about when I’m not around.”
“I don’t want to know, what I already know. Keep it to yourself, leave me out in the cold. I want you to lie to me.”
In which a girl asks for hamster pellets from her guy.
—
Just listen, most dance music is realtalk.
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This one goes to Chateau’s Jesuits
Tiefe Wasser sind nicht still
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Sie Narr! Ein Freund des Teufels wird keine Kamerad für mich.
(let pass any syntax errors… I’m a bit out of practice.)
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and this one to feminists
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and finally this one to those who like Rammstein, to the epic tits at 2.59 and to the beauty of German language
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As much as I like a driving rock song, all I hear that voice saying is:
“WIr wollen zusehen, wie die Welt zum Teufel geht!”
Recognize the reference, or doesn’t your so-called appreciation of Deutsch extend to beyond the cacaphonous?
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Lana del Rey is a mudshark.
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1. H, thank you.
2. Please use the movie poster for the german film “Die Wand” (“The Wall” in English) in a post. The image is of a waller and her dog alone in the wilderness. Ironically satirical. +1. Thank you again.
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May I chime in?
thank you
*chime*
When it comes to “wall songs”, if I could only pick one, it would be this one.
“When I was younger, the boys all came around. But now Im older, and they’ve all settled down”
Walls and trees my two favorite things.
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oops,
Eva kills it but
Buffy St Marie wrote it.
You know me, I gotta stay true to the game:
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That’s hotter
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In the TV show “two broke girls,” the girls claim to be okay “because they have each other.” This is more jooish propoganda encouraging women to be idiots and not have marital relationships with good men.
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Won’t work, won’t change the fact that girls hate each other.
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Their lives will grow cold when they’re Lost Behind the Wall. Good.
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thwackster you’re so the rennaisance man;In your case I guess it’d be Da Harlem Rennaisance
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Just like this girl was shittesting him, heartiste is shittesting us with a blurry and skewed header on his blog.
I just failed the shittest.
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This type of girl will eventually dump him if he doesn’t leave first.
This post and a few recent ones allude to “Cluster B” girls.
These girls have a deep pathological fear of abandonment and will do whatever they can to avoid that.
The cycle goes: Idealization, Clinginess, Resentment/Shit-testing, Abandonment.
Most of these relationships never get back to the Idealization.
This girl is now on her best behavior because she’s been schooled. But eventually she will escalate the manipulation.
Game in this case must be a focus on “inner game” and knowing when and how to walk away from these pieces of shit.
My ex gf who I’ve written about extensively here is classic in this pattern.
Whenever I go silent she immediately panics and starts to show up where I go.
When I acknowledged her, treated her well, gave her those attention fixes she so desperately craved, she’d find a way to sabotage the relationship—usually be introducing some type of drama or “Trouble” and then trying to manipulate me into giving her attention while using the “trouble” in her life as a convenient excuse to avoid going out and being a girlfriend.
The more I called her out on this, the more she thrived on the drama.
The strategy is to pretend you give a shit but quietly disappear. A dramatic exit would freak them out and cause them to react.
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“All truth passes through three stages. First, it is ridiculed. Second, it is violently opposed. Third, it is accepted as being self-evident”
– Arthur Schopenhauer
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Good for this guy He is still a chump imo.
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Soooo,
being a chump,
… that’s an excuse for what exactly?
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shhh, men are talking.
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?
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This is how Russians (Jews and gentiles) do
http://www.salon.com/2013/08/12/i_love_and_hate_dating_russian_men/
an angry feminazi tries to battle her End of Times genocidal desire for real men
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which we taught them… they got the be barbaric part but they still white knight… true xtians
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I like Russians— in Russia. Bring hell down on muslem pieces of shit;keep they womens in line;smack down the faggots;work the black market. Russians are cool! But when they come over here…not so much. Blood sucking assholes…
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Oralcuminmyface looool blue eyed fags fighting each other
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Dangerous Russians.
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Excellent take on the utility and danger of Russians.
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Diana Bruk… let me guess.
Next.
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I think she’s rationalizing / excusing that she was not chosen by any of those men.
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good to see you read zero hedge. then again, i suppose id be surprised if you didn’t.
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It’s pretty beta to commit to any woman long term unless she’s the mother of your children.
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This. Now that he’s seen that there’s nothing particularly special about her why not play the field?
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What makes a woman special is that she belongs to you. Playing the field is great if along the way, you keep some of what you find. Don’t be afraid to own things. This is part of being wholly a man.
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I keep a favorite girl.
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I have a teddy bear
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says the girl needing to be owned…
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We all need it.
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The hamster speaks truth for once. All girls need to be owned, with varying degrees of domination and pain required.
“If you ignore me, don’t need me, are self-sufficient, and slap me around, verbally, physically, and emotionally, it means you are strong enough to deserve to have your seed continue, and thus can have all the sex you want.
If you chase me, long for me, give in to my every whim, build your life around pleasing me, and worship me, I will take every possible advantage of you that I can, and drain your resources, but I will never stop looking or longing for a man that can dominate me. Without remorse or apology.”
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On the other side of that, I remember the words of the Marquis de Sade, “Every man wants to be a tyrant in bed.”
I’d consider it a defect or sign of insincerity if a man did not.
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Nicole you know I appreciate you, but why should a man listen to a woman about what proper manhood is?
What does owning mean anyway? A harem? A memory? Genes shared in children you have together? Legally we cannot own people here, so it’s got to have a metaphorical meaning, what’s yours?
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I can’t articulate what it is because there is no way I can walk in your shoes.
I can, however, express when I am not feeling it, and under what circumstances other women show signs of not feeling it.
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Doormat beta here…
Is this the general order for the best-to-worst method of dealing with shit tests?:
1. Amused mastery
2. Verbal beat down delivered with anger
3. Meekly standing up for yourself
4. Doing nothing because you’re too afraid
5. Supplicating
When I get shit-tested by girls who I’m not even dating by the way I know I have to stand up for myself but I mostly don’t, and it eventually reaches the point where I start getting angry and ignoring them and when it finally reaches the boiling point I might blow up on them and defend myself.
I never want to start shit with them (like a total beta), so I never pre-emptively bust their balls about things. The pattern I’ve noticed is that they slowly bust my balls about things enough times until they reach the point of resentment and anger.
As a meek passive doormat who’s trying to change himself, do I slowly become an outgoing ball buster so women don’t think I’m an easy target? I get it they will shit-test me anyway but is this a good start?
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Patrice,
Do three things.
1) Read up on shit-tests from the old-school PUA forums and learn just one tactic on passing them and agree to that. Agree and amplify should be your friend.
2) Read this Classic Heartiste post on a relationship beta who becomes alpha. It covers the concepts you want to learn more about
https://heartiste.wordpress.com/2009/08/14/relationship-game-week-a-readers-journey/
3) Read “No More Mr. Nice Guy” by Robert Glover. That will help you get over some of the guilt you may feel from being more assertive.
You could actually get this all done on a Sunday afternoon so no need to see it as a massive project. Report back here with any epiphanies you have. Any questions you got I will take time to answer and explain. But to get there, you got to put in some leg work.
Best of luck.
-IG
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“We grasp one ax handle to hew the other; and yet, if we look askance from the one to the other, we may consider them as apart. Therefore, the superior man governs men, according to their nature, with what is proper to them, and as soon as they change what is wrong, he stops. ”
ramp it up to 110 and dial it back. never apologize, hard or soft next.
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Why don’t you quickly become a quiet ball-buster right now? Outgoing vs. quiet is slow to change and something you don’t even need to change. Changing to ballbuster is simple and even easy, and you already know how to do it.
When you get some sort of awkward question, stay calm, if something cleverly aggressive enters your head, say that, if not you can make a purely irrelevant comment, maybe a neg about her body or something.
Who needs a long list of stuff? The women are naturally attracted, all you have to do is not turn them off. You won’t get all of them, some are even in a committed relationship and have enough character to do what they promised. But you’ll get many.
You can pay me later.
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Got a related scenario to Patrice. In the last year I find myself being opened and/or shit tested by women/college chicks who I happen to be around but not in the same social circles (doing MBA currently, long story). I’ve had 4 instances this year of one or pairs of them following me around, sitting in restaurants next to me, getting in my line of sight, essentially lame attempts at getting in my proximity, deliberately trying to get me to open them. These are girls I know only as faces around campus but am not interested in talking to or knowing. After several rounds of me giving polite pleasantries and its apparent they don’t get the hint, they resort to attempting to provoke reactions and shit tests. What gives? Why proactively shit testing when I haven’t shown the slightest bit of interest?
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This is such a great post! *sniff*
But he’s not totally right when he says she knows what she’s doing when she shit-tests. A lot of women don’t understand what they’re doing when they act up, or why. I only mention that in case it helps the guys who are disgusted by it. It’s not really an intentional thing. It’s usually subconscious. And even when it isn’t… it’s almost a compulsion. I have more self-awareness than a lot of women and I still do it. I do know what I’m doing and I hate that I do it, but sometimes I can’t stop myself.
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retard
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tingles uber alles
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Don’t you think a constant diet of “agree and amplify” from the guy would get tedious? Pretty one dimensional.
See here I do ask a woman for her opinion. A woman more perceptive than most, but in a female way. Because I am trying to see it from her point of view. I did not ask her advice. Given the facts, it’s my job to analyze them, because I am better at analysis.
Agree and amplify is a convenient default response, but you can actually enjoy many of these shit tests, they let you say anything you want. Women want to be weak if you’ll just cooperate and take advantage of the weaknesses they present.
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I’m not sure what you’re asking me. I usually don’t shit test with insults so I don’t get a lot of the “agree and amplify” response. I get a lot of the indifferent (or amused) “stop with your bullshit” response, because I tend to get oversensitive and histrionic.
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yup
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We don’t report, we decide.
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Here’s an amazing thread about just how far a woman will go without demanding commitment:
http://thoughtcatalog.com/stephanie-georgopulos/2012/12/how-do-couples-become-official-these-days/
The post is boring, the comments revealing.
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Dudes, make no mistake: google, which once had a mantra “don’t be evil,” is firmly controlled by the Cathedral now. Page one of youtube:
http://www.youtube.com/
(white guy/black girl interracial marriage promotion)
lzozlzozzozlozzoo like a white man would want a black woman.
Here are the options:
1. white or hispanic 6 or above
2. “professional services” from a hottie
3. porn
Black woman or woman under 6 does not make the list.
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So pathetic. He had to read some blog to learn how to stand up for himself? Before his OWN GIRLFRIEND? How/why/where/when/what?!
Americans are self-absorbed neurotic babies. Every “problem” has a book, or a course, or a blog for you to “fix” yourselves with. Everything becomes a scheme, a product, a system. You don’t live, you manage your own fantasy adventure stories with help from “experts” and “professionals”. TURN YOUR LIFE AROUND IN 48 HOURS with the new patented ALPHA PACKAGE SYSTEM only 9.99 per month! Soon YOUR PENIS will be experiencing pleasurable friction inside a REAL WOMAN like those you see in movies! Just follow the infinite list of absurdly complicated, self-contradictory and ultimately useless advice found in our MAZE OF MIRRORS handbook/blog/dvd/protein shake/12step program and YOU TOO can prattle endlessly on like a woman about all the women you now talk to! (tee hee hee, and BONE! YEAH, SCORE!)
One day I’ll have big arms like lads on the front of Men’s Health! Then I’ll show ’em! I’ll show ’em all…..my arms.
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and then… there is rape! 😛
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You’re trying to be funny, but you’re right, and I don’t think anyone here would disagree with you. However, just like fitness and martial arts, one has to reach people from where they are, not where one thinks they should be. At least this blog is free.
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Carl, lets say you are dating an extremely hot chick who is out of your league and she asks you:
“Does this dress look good on me?”
Now, needless to say, the dress looks fantastic on her but what would you say as a reply to turn her on?
Here is one more for you:
“I saw you staring at that blonde over there..do you think she looks better than me?”
And what would you say here?
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Ill give you an example for question 2.
“I saw you staring at that blonde over there..do you think she looks better than me?”
“No, when we were naked together, i noticed her breasts were asymmetrical.”
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Carl, lets say you are dating an extremely hot chick who is out of your league…
Doesn’t grok.
and she asks you:
“Does this dress look good on me?”
Now, needless to say, the dress looks fantastic on her but what would you say as a reply to turn her on?
“It’ll look better when it slides off your shoulders and falls to the floor.”
“I saw you staring at that blonde over there..do you think she looks better than me?”
And what would you say here?
“Hmmmmmm…. the jury’s still out.”
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I had a gf who once told me she got really turned on by some guy she met on a train once who used what i thought was a bit of a cheesy line, but he probably had good game and delivered it well plus she was a slut. He said,
“I like your nails..” (She always had really nice nails/manicures).
“But id like them better if they were scratching down my back..”
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“Americans are self-absorbed neurotic babies. Every “problem” has a book, or a course, or a blog for you to “fix” yourselves with. Everything becomes a scheme, a product, a system. You don’t live, you manage your own fantasy adventure stories with help from “experts” and “professionals”. TURN YOUR LIFE AROUND IN 48 HOURS with the new patented ALPHA PACKAGE SYSTEM only 9.99 per month! Soon YOUR PENIS will be experiencing pleasurable friction inside a REAL WOMAN like those you see in movies! Just follow the infinite list of absurdly complicated, self-contradictory and ultimately useless advice found in our MAZE OF MIRRORS handbook/blog/dvd/protein shake/12step program and YOU TOO can prattle endlessly on like a woman about all the women you now talk to! (tee hee hee, and BONE! YEAH, SCORE!)”
Agreed, Carl. That’s the problem with the whole PUA/Red Pill scene, they peddle a bunch of parlor tricks. Self-realization and situational awareness, combined with amused indifference; once those are internalized the rest is just noise.
Most men don’t want to listen to this.
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So what do you suggest as an alternative?
I’ll be really darkly blunt here, most people are sheep. Most men and vastly most women can’t really think for themselves. It’s not that they don’t want to. It’s that they can’t. They just weren’t born with the stuff to come to logical conclusions that would lead them to productive ends. Even those who can think independently and can see above the herd to be more productive than usual, without or in spite of their culture or upbringing, are usually not benevolent. This is why we have culture in the first place. People need to be programmed to be useful and benevolent. We’re social animals, and this is our build.
So the tried and true methods of adjusting a culture or creating a subculture have to be used if you want to actually get the job done and not just sit back on your haunches and condemn everyone without fixing anything.
A bit of flim flam here, and some coaching there, and a book or two…this is how these things get off the ground. If someone is promoting b.s. that isn’t working and does no good, this is one thing. If it’s actually improving lives, then what’s your beef?
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I’ve been there. I’ve been a pretty beta sort of guy. We are not born knowing this stuff. CH is very good because it does NOT promote a complicated self-contradictory system (I see you too have read quite a bit otherwise you would not know to say this), but it helps people see the lies that have shaped their thinking.
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lzozoozozozlzzozlzo French “first lady” living in sin, 48, has had a mental breakdown requiring hospitalization because her hubby had an affair.
zlzolzzoozozoz
http://www.miamiherald.com/2014/01/12/3866220/french-first-lady-hospitalized.html
lzozlzozlzo Marriage is the best!!!
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Had to look up ‘grok’…. To understand (something) intuitively or by empathy….lol
Thats a good question 1 reply .. i like it.
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Grok, a.k.a., “intuit”; without the disadvantage of lousy onomatopoeia and scifi etymology from the day before yesterday and a connection to hippies.
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I read the book from which “grok” came when I was a kid reading sci-fi. I think it was by Heinlein?
Good stuff.
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Oral Contraceptive use increases attraction to beta men? (on in other words, beta men get all the sterile women?)
http://www.epjournal.net/articles/current-hormonal-contraceptive-use-predicts-female-extra-pair-and-dyadic-sexual-behavior-evidence-based-on-czech-national-survey-data/
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Women use beta males as providers for themselves and their children. It’s the beta males who have the children, the alpha males “just” get the fresh young pussy.
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First sentence definitely true.
Second sentence I suspect not so much. Betas marrying single mothers (gammas?), betas being cuckolded, alphas spreading their seed far and wide … even alphas doing that alpha thing (planning and deciding), choosing a wife and creating a family, and having the strong will to see that project through. Maybe the woman even thought he was a beta provider. Oh well, hopefully someday she’ll decide it was a pleasant surprise.
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Off topic here, but there is something that needs the Dark Lord’s shiv:
http://isteve.blogspot.com/2014/01/upworthy-what-america-cares-about-now.html
I’m thinking an equivalent version in red and black.
Or at least GBFM.
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Hmmm. Nothing there about undersexed, normal, good men who do the bulk of the work that makes society function. They get no support from women because women are being allowed to run feral. To add insult to injury, if they turn on a TV or go to a movie, they’ll be told that *they* are the bad guys. Normal 35 year old man wants sex from a slender woman? What a jerk. Oh don’t go to cnn.com though or watch any MSM show unless you want to have faggotry AGGRESSIVELY shoved in your face.
The future, indeed, looks grim.
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Well I never. The French President’s mistress isn’t older, fatter, and uglier than his wife. It just can’t be true because it means that us feminists are full of fucking shit and cougars are just a myth.
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Israel ships dozens of African refugees….to Sweden:
http://www.theoccidentalobserver.net/2014/01/two-ingroup-morality-items/
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I was recently loitering about an Internet forum. But this one is particularly monitored for “behavior”. I never really put it together until now just how much I loathed and hated the restraints, which to me was nothing but an incitement to weakness and effeminacy .
It was then I realized that men shit test their society. We play pranks on it and test it for every weakness. Any adolescent who could loot the conder store would certainly feel gratification, but I suspect also disgust, begging inside for a society capable of stopping him. Could you imagine being policed by tearful maternal disappointment, the removal of bunny petting privileges, and the darkening of your wee, little Disney themed night light?
Who would not despise it in favor of a just society that punishes stupidity harshly? The weak and pale guardians of our state gives me nothing but disgust. This must be the same for any wife with her beta husband.
This is what the movie Hitcher was all about:
Jim Halsey: What do you want?
John Ryder: I want you to stop me.
This is what the knockout game is all about. Its what game is all about…sustainable virtues, fed buy underlying lusts to survive.
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Appreciate your site, you’re on target when it comes to understanding women. My first major victory tonight. I told her what I wanted 3 weeks ago, and held on to it while she refused, gave me ultimatums, then threatened to separate and divorce. I did not give in or compromise, I did not argue, debate or even discuss. Got 100% compliance. And she’s happier than she ever was when I gave in or compromised, argued or debated. She refused to comply right up until last night, then gave in, and then got happier and happier as the night went on; she sent this e-mail this morning:
So excited to see you…..
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OT
I have a post on the nature of free will and Marxist culture that CH and readers here might be interested in.
http://humancivilizations.wordpress.com/2014/01/13/higher-order-animals-have-been-naturally-selected-to-possess-free-will-enabled-mind-constructs/
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Gents, I’ve been in uncaring asshole mode for a looong time that I fear my other form of game is lacking. This is mainly because the women I’ve been meeting haven’t really been worth my time, and I’ve had no desire “to woo” them like I used to.
I recently met a (seemingly) quality girl that’s not making me run away screaming from the prospect of a LTR. No red flags yet. The rub: I have an inkling my assholery might scare her off. I’ll try some vulnerability game, but I might need some new inspiration to make it seem like I’m less of a cad.
Thoughts? Suggestions?
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Lol this behemoth thinks that having sex with lots of men is some sort of an accomplishment http://www.alternet.org/im-fat-40-and-single-and-ive-been-getting-laid-crazy
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Well, she’s 40 and 300 lbs… so I admit I’m a little surprised she’d get that level of attention, even if it’s just for sex. But big women are a fetish for some.
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Imagine it’s the height of the drought season in Sub Saharan Africa. A sickly thirst stricken wildebeest falls dead. Even after five days of putrifying, some starving animal is gonna gnaw on it.
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Hollywood is pushing on men the dream of free “no strings” sex.
The women most likely to provide this consistently are the ones who are both at a disadvantage, and either lack or spurn male protection.
The dick isn’t going to suck itself, so…
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Same story here.
Got divorced from a sexless marriage. Was a beta begging for it and giving her the satisfaction of domestic bliss.
Now I bang much younger and more attractive broads.
Nobody’s perfect, still working the beta out of me. Sometimes it regresses, but it’s getting easier as time goes on.
It all started with reading this very blog.
Seriously life-changing and everyone is happier.
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Thank you for all this
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Two updates.
Met up with Church girl last night who I’ve been gaming, she’s early 30’s, petite, great body. Gamed her on OK Cupid. She was constantly talking about church and inviting me to church etc. When we first me, she came dressed up based on what I had told her in texts I liked: heels and stockings, tight dress. Amped up kino. We talked, played questions game, amped up more kino, built comfort, sexualized k-closed. Then kept up the sexualizing coupled with comfort to calm down the “I bet you’re a real player” shit tests. Me: “no I’m a coach”.
Last night we arranged a dinner, she shows up: heels, tight dress, stockings, looking SMOKING. We had dinner, chatted, more comfort. Then went for a walk, I took photos of her in heels. Then back to my place. make out session, short of f-close. She’s taking me to the airport this week for my big trip.
Then…there’s the ex. Who after a 2 month NEXT got her friend to buy her a ticket to my New Year’s Eve party. She was all on her best behavior, we danced, she was bringing up various great memories. Then we had a long talk after and she told me about some guy “chasing her” who “has a good heart”. I basically laughed it all off. Told her I thought she’d wait at least 2 months before diving into another relationship. We then began texting like old times….then escalated to a lot. Then she suggested we meet up to go see a photo exhibit.
A few days before that, she suddenly started the drama about being in “trouble”.. her rent went up….she had to move. All this was stuff I already knew, so I was wondering, why did we go from great texts and a pending date.
So I expressed some concerns but basically kept it all light. Suddenly late Saturday afternoon she has to cancel our Sunday date because she has to meet with her brother to discuss furniture delivery blah blah blah.
I get it…She’s got her “supply” of attention and now flakes. I basically didn’t question it, kept our exchange light. Then NEXTED her again. She sent me a lame text late Saturday night about eating chocolate. But after the cancelation without any offer of a rain check I texted.
So….my game is pretty good overall. But in the case of these attention seeking Cluster B vampires…I need to get better at bailing or not getting “hovered” into their drama.
I’m learning.
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Then kept up the sexualizing coupled with comfort to calm down the “I bet you’re a real player” shit tests. Me: “no I’m a coach”.
Awesome.
I recognize the attention seeking in the story from your ex. As always the cure is to watch what she does, not what she says. Here she cancelled a date, so you did the correct thing and stopped seeing her. She knows perfectly well that if she wants attention she should provide dates and then more, and if she doesn’t, then she isn’t upholding her end of the bargain. No freebies, missie!
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[…] success stories. I know I’ve come across even better ones than this one at Heartiste, but I’m drawing a blank. (I’m looking more for changed lives, […]
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