Commenter MercifulBoss asks,
I was daygaming at the mall a while ago, got this girls number and took some photos with her and me in the photo for social proof. She opened me on facebook we talked for a bit, I tried to get her out but she found excuses and never went out with me.
Today I was fucking around on Facebook and she opens me saying, “like my photo of me getting kissed?”, its a photo of her sitting at her computer while some random dude kisses her on the cheek.
I didn’t reply (seems like an attention whore to me — I don’t like enabling attention whores).
Was this the correct move, or should I have said something non-commital like, “cool”? The silence could be interpreted like butthurtedness?
All indicators are that she’s a) taken or b) totally uninterested in anything but getting her ego stroked by a chasing beta. I don’t think you have a deep mystery on your hands here. The correct move was moving on.
However, it sounds like you wanted an exploit that would ignite the possibility of slipping the PIV. If so, there are many effective ways you could have replied to her taunt. Examples:
her: “like my photo of me getting kissed?”
you: “you’re real close with your dad/brother/cousin, aren’t you?”
you: “more tongue next time”
you: “presentation: 7, execution: 2”
you: “goddam, dude is slobbering on you like a hungry dog” [boyfriend destroyer subroutine]
you: *popcorn pic* “awesome. steamy lesbian sex” [another boyfriend destroyer PLUS sneaky neg]
you: “you call that a kiss? i’ll show you a kiss.” *send her pic of a Hershey’s kiss*
you: “how cute. you’re looking for my approval” [flipping the native sex script is powerful game]
you: *send her pictogram of birthday cake cat*
The point with these replies is that it’s paramount to communicate an aloof, outcome independent, devil-may-care, toes-a-tappin’ alpha male attitude. Amused mastery, in PUA parlance. The best way to do this is through an amalgam of cavalier humor and edgy teasing.
This method is probably the only really results-replicable, reliable, game-savvy response to an attention whore dropping beta bait into the Facebook tank and fishing for nibbles or whole chomps from desperate orbiters. She’s already put you on the defensive; therefore most replies, like “cool”, will carry a whiff of butthurt.
Radio silence of course is your next best option, but that doesn’t leave much room for burying the beef hatchet in that ratchet. Silence is a very passive opt out of an attention whore feeding frenzy. It isn’t butthurt — men tend to overestimate women’s ability to read spite into silence — but it isn’t a proactive game tactic, either. At best, it leaves her wondering what you really think and leaves you free to spend your valuable time on other less emotionally needy women.
Just follow the patented CH Maxim of Seductive Interaction:
Maxim 5: Charisma before silence, silence before self-incrimination.
Lesbian allusion, winner
LikeLike
Agreed. Runner up would be a pictogram cat.
LikeLike
> “*send her pictogram of birthday cake cat*”
Thread winner right there.
I felt like the lesbian thing was too difficult to understand.
Either directly imply that the dude is a fag: “So you’re his beard?”
Or else explain the lesbian thing a little better: “So you’re the femme and she’s the butch?”
Or: “So whaddup wit y’all dykes and the mullet crewcuts?”
But until “birthday cake cat” gets oversaturated to the point of “All your base are belong to us”, I just don’t see it getting supplanted any time soon.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/All_your_base_are_belong_to_us
LikeLike
i would like ‘…’ for this one but all of them are pretty good
LikeLike
It just took me a double take or two before I finally “grokked” the lesbian retort.
[Although now that I do grok it, it makes complete sense.]
But you don’t want to be too much of a smart-ass with the dumb cunt – such a super-duper-look-at-me-maw-are-you-proud-of-me-now-smart-ass – that your too-clever-by-half wisecracks soar right over her head.
It’s a point which we’ve talked about several times here at The Chateau – that a huge part of game is simply learning to DUMB DOWN your delivery.
Especially for the spergy STEM-major otherwise mildly anti-social dudes, who spend 8 or 10 hours every day in the library, studying differential equations or crystalline lattices or travelling salesmen problems or whatever.
That baggage needs to be checked at the door.
Sure, if she’s got an IQ of 130, and an advanced degree in English Lit, then go ahead and get all Chaucerian on her ass [within the broader context of gaming her], and talk about bar maids of ill repute in suffocating bodices with ample décolletage just bursting at the seams and the abiding desire burning beneath their petticoats which only the most devilish of knaves knows the sacred holy secret of quenching.
All in iambic pentameter, within a broader SMS protocol max of 140 characters per TXT.
But if she’s got an IQ of 110, and an Associate’s Degree from a community college, with an LPN license rather than an RN license, then your ass is gonna need to ditch all them big shiny multi-syllabic LSAT words, and get real simplistic and troglodytic and straightforward on her ass.
In a hurry.
Before she rolls her eyes and starts dismissing you as that nerd boy loser dude who sends the weird creepy stalker-like gina-frigidness txts which neither she nor any of her hawt babe girlfriends can decipher.
As always: CHOOSE THE RIGHT TOOL FOR THE JOB!
LikeLike
Her actual IQ probably matters but not in the way you think it does. Whenever you hit a chick with a lot of verbiage, she isn’t really listening that closely to the content — she’s just sort of basking in the glow of your confidence/competence/whatever.
It all depends on whether the girl VALUES intelligence. And actually, I’d go a step further and say verbally demonstrated intelligence. If she values it, it doesn’t matter whether her IQ is 90 or 130 — talk away. However, it’s probably less likely that she values it if she’s dumber….but that’s not a hard and fast rule.
Also, I qualified up above because girls universally love intelligence. The problem is that guys demonstrate it in gay ways — like talking about stupid shit. Instead, deceive someone right in front of her. Make someone the butt of your joke. Devise a clever way to break the rules without being caught. Win at blackjack.
These are all things women find hot. What they find hot is the application of intelligence to real life, which — when you get down to it — is a form of prudent risk-taking. /solved.
Just take a step back and ask yourself ‘if I was in ancient times, how would I use trait X or Y.’ Everything you have — intelligence to looks — you have for a reason. Who would you be in the tribe? Would you be the uber alpha male that controlled all the resources and set the rules? Or would you be the guy who tries to slip in and plant some seed in that guy’s — undeniably — hot mate. before jetting off to a different tribe?
Looking at things in this way has helped me a lot…especially with building value and DHV’ing early in set.
LikeLike
> “*send her pictogram of birthday cake cat*”
Just realized that sending the birthday cake cat runs on the same principle as the Chewbacca Defense. Brilliant.
LikeLike
i thought that was pretty good too
LikeLike
YO – THWACK – PAGING MY MAN THWACK!!!
Check out this nigger that L’il Barry Soetoro Dunham Marshall Davis Reggie Love sent to Italy, to serve with the State Department:
http://www.jammiewf.com/2014/state-department-diplomat-women-are-like-candy-meant-to-be-unwrapped-and-thrown-away/
“women are like candy, they meant to be unwrapped and thrown away”
BOO-YAH!
Nigger Game FTW.
LikeLike
?
LikeLike
Barry is in the process of turning the entire God-damned USA gubmint into the smoldering ruins of Detroit.
Civilization simply CANNOT be maintained by inherently uncivilizable peoples.
It just can’t.
It’s why no one built any aqueducts in Europe for about one thousand years after the fall of Rome.
Why there weren’t any advances in mathematics for almost TWO thousand years, after the fall of Athens and Sparta.
Why they call it the “Dark” Ages.
There is a YKW, who writes under the pseudonym of “Theodore Dalrymple”, who has a thing or two to say about this:
What We Have to Lose
http://www.city-journal.org/html/11_4_what_we_have.html
“…In fact there was—and not very far away, in a building called the Centennial Hall, where the inauguration ceremonies of the presidents of Liberia took place. The hall was empty now, except for the busts of former presidents, some of them overturned, around the walls—and a Steinway grand piano, probably the only instrument of its kind in the entire country, two-thirds of the way into the hall. The piano, however, was not intact: its legs had been sawed off (though they were by design removable) and the body of the piano laid on the ground, like a stranded whale. Around it were disposed not only the sawed-off legs, but little piles of human feces.
I had never seen a more graphic rejection of human refinement. I tried to imagine other possible meanings of the scene but could not. Of course, the piano represented a culture that was not fully Liberia’s own and had not been assimilated fully by everyone in the country: but that the piano represented not just a particular culture but the very idea of civilization itself was obvious in the very coarseness of the gesture of contempt…”
LikeLike
Thank you for the Dalrymple essay, I’ll be posting that in other places I imagine. It was a depressing and eloquent vocalization of my own thoughts and I hope others here will take heed of it. You really have to wonder where we’ll be 50 years from now.
That is one of my contentions with the philosophy of game sites, though I think I begin to fully realize the underlying goal of CH. To arm the white nerds with some manliness (even if initially false) so that they’ll enter the genetic fray. Maybe I read too much into it all. But it conflicts with my desires for civility and civilization in general as it agrees and amplifies (to steal some terminology) the dysfunction of our times. Pump and dump, terse childlike discourse, etc are not exactly conducive to growing, or surviving, as a people. I guess the counterargument is, high mindedness won’t matter much if you don’t effectively get your seed in the mix.
I would like to see the site host elaborate on this conflict. His post swing from promoting the crude to decrying the fall in an almost bipolar fashion. That’s not necessarily meant as an insult as I have the same cognitive dissonance on what works vs ideals, but I’d enjoy seeing his take on it and a more honest exposition of just what his ideals are beyond attaining poon and observing the crumbling of society. Maybe it’s something he’s still sorting out for himself too and using the editorials to speak it aloud for analyses.
LikeLike
I thought “More tongue next time” sounded the funniest
LikeLike
Not much to choose, varying degrees of effectiveness probably depending on how perceptive the chick is and if she harbours any secret lesbian/bi-curious leanings.
LikeLike
“More tongue next time” is best by far. Aloof, short, low investment. Exactly correct for this species of attention whore.
LikeLike
O’course we can’t say what the best reply was unless we saw the actual picture, but I’m pretty fond of the “your real close with your dad, aren’t you?”
LikeLike
Stick to one word game:- “gay”
LikeLike
or “who is this?”
then delete from Facebook immediately and forget.
LikeLike
It’s amazing how much easier that amused mastery stuff is in writing with time to come up with the quote and polish it. And it works just as well. You can be feeling like shit and still put on a nice performance in writing. I am trying it out in hostile feminist blog threads, and it hasn’t failed. I’ll ramp it up.
To theorize, the remoteness of written communication makes aloofness easy, and the natural delay gives her hamster lots of time to rev up.
[CH: The remoteness of online or text game will help build a foundation that can be leaned on in the field. Calculated spontaneity comes with practice.]
LikeLike
Very true. If you’re not a good public speaker or storyteller, it can help you hone your “material.”
LikeLike
Did your man ever put you over his knee and give you a nice hard spanking for publishing that full frontal icon/avatar of yourself?
Or is he not your man anymore?
Or is he just not a real man in the first place?
LikeLike
And if you wait a few hours before responding, her hamster will be turbo-charged.
LikeLike
LEAVE HER ALONE YOU BASTARDS. *Waits for accusations of ‘white knight’*
LikeLike
Kate,
Detox my Buttox..
-GB
LikeLike
If I wouldn’t do it two years ago, what makes you think I’d do it now? It is almost my Chateauian rebirth day, but that doesn’t sound like a very fun party game 🙂
LikeLike
True, FamilyMan. And here’s a tip: If a young guy wants inspiration for cockiness, he can imagine someone cocky he’s seen on film. Or imagine a character from a book he’s read (but who am I kidding). It’s hard for many young guys to get inspiration these days, and it sucks that we have to get it from fiction, but still. It can put you in the right mind.
One thing to remember: women are not as good at reading men as we think they are. If you smile and act like you’re not bothered, most women will believe it. They don’t know you. And you are a man, a category of the species they know to be stronger, more successful and more aggressive. Therefore acting unmoved and amused will work.
That is also why silence works. She will wonder, “Is he silent because he is bitter or because he has other things to do and doesn’t care?” Don’t think she will be sure it is because you are bitter. She is used to betas playing the game for as long as they can. Silence means not playing the game, and that is a strong move by a guy.
LikeLike
In dealing with ex-girlfriends, is it better to use amused mastery or indifference?
Got an email from an ex this week. We’d seen each other for 1.5 years where she was ‘woman in love’, then parted(I wouldn’t commit), she moved for work, we visited romantically for two weeks, then lost touch, then circumstances where I unwittingly put her on the spot(putting commitment on the table and her being with someone, me not knowing it) and she left me hanging(never responded). I went no contact for 2 months then the below.
(She’s still seeing someone now)
—
Hi G,
I didn’t want there to be a long interlude until we spoke again, and though I remain confused and upset about what happened between us, the fact remains that I care deeply about you so I couldn’t go much longer without dropping you a line.
Happy New Year, and I hope Christmas was magical. Write me when you have time xx
HerName
—-
Clearly I noticed that she didn’t bring up leaving me hanging. Calmed myself down. Wondered if 1) she was trying to be nice and start friendship 2) just seeking to resolve her inner narrative that was disrupted two months ago. Probably both –and– she’s a woman. So there’s stuff going on that she doesn’t even know about and I have to lead her through so that she can behave in a way appropriate to me.
So I decided not to fully buy into her frame. “Yes I care about you too” might just mirror back what she’s thinking and put me squarely in the friend zone, or written off. So no obsequiousness. (That email, though muddled, is genuine and heartfelt and she put herself out there a bit. I do care about her and like every guy would love to just express myself but…)
I decided to be nice but talk past what she wrote-a bit of indifference. Do you think this is the right approach? I’m not desperate to get her back or anything, but I do see this as a learning experience.
—–
Hey HerName,
Good to hear from you, thanks for the well wishes. Hoping your 2014 rocks socks!
It’s been busy here with developments on job front, grant applications, apartment search and of course, Mexico. My niece drew me into a debate on 1) having a unicorn vs. 2) being batman (clearly batman)
Hope the wedding went well.
Stay in touch Gazzzz
——
Should I have given more of an olive branch? I figure it’s nice enough that she can respond without feeling bad about it and it doesn’t put me in the position to be trying to draw her out (chasing her). Or should I just get warm and fuzzy and make her mind spin from there?
OR —this just struck me– was it too dry- should I have been more flirtatious masculine- amused mastery? But would showing interest have been good?
Thank you I appreciate the knowledge.
Note: Rock socks is something I’ve said to her before. She knows that I’m moving job stuff, had wanted to move with me months back. She knows I went to Mexico family vacation. Her brother got married.
LikeLike
Out of curiosity (it might not matter to some other people’s analysis), what is you goal here? Getting laid, getting even, or putting buns in ovens.
Also, I think her next response could be extremely informative…
LikeLike
Good question. I’m not a vindictive guy. I want to see where I can get this and then decide. Not suffering from oneitis—although it was good.
No reply—I sent the above Sunday. My professional blog’s stats tell me that it’s “About Me” page was visited yesterday (Tues) afternoon by a computer at her workplace—The page was reached through a google-search of my name.
Thoughts?
LikeLike
> “or putting buns in ovens?”
> “Good question.”
Not a good question.
Not an outstanding or even a superior question.
It’s the ONLY question.
Are you ready to man up and lose the Peter Pan syndrome and get her off of birth control and then enter into The Tree of Life with her?
Not next year, not next month, not next week, but NOW?
Cause your seed* talks, whereas bullshit walks.
*At least in combination with her ova, after a lag time of about nine months.
LikeLike
Yes, I put full commitment on the table in Nov (seeds and all). I am still interested if the dynamic is workable—not just in terms of getting her back but how it lands, if it does.
Backstory: When I talked with her in Nov she got confused, said she was seeing someone (surprise to me), I said “we can get through that”, she said “this isn’t just a light relationship” and then she said “this is a lot to handle, let’s speak in a week.” I followed up with an email saying “I recognize it’s a complicated situation, I regret not telling you sooner, and commitment means building the whole shebang: seed, etc.” She never got back to me. Two months passed than her above email.
She didn’t do anything wrong—moving on was her prerogative since we weren’t together. She should have replied to me—but at that point I’d probably pushed her towards the new guy, she was overwhelmed and it was a negative reply that she just didn’t want to talk through.
My take is that NOW:
– The 2 month no contact made her miss/realize she wants me in her life in some form
– Her email expressed a desire for my emotional companionship despite her relationship (wanting her cake and eat it too)
– My email communicated I can be nice but I’m moving forward
So now she’s struggling with potentially having lost me emotionally. Her head is spinning and she’s googling me.
I figure I’ll let her head spin to rationalize reaching out.
If she doesn’t it’s either her barrier to action is too high i.e.: 1. she’s not interested 2. feels social convention pressures or 3. feels like I’m too distant
Any suggestions? Much appreciated.
LikeLike
Ha, relax dudes. You can put buns in ovens without promising commitment. Just saying.
LikeLike
This is totally out of character for me to quote YaReally but he broke down the power of “lol” in this exact same situ
https://heartiste.wordpress.com/2014/01/07/when-alpha-males-square-off/#comment-515614
Credit also to “Nomennovum” who originally put forth that option.
CHs proposals are great and powerful and are not being discredited. I’m stressed “lol” for guys who don’t know what to respond with in the moment and need something to fall back on.
The type of witty shit CH comes up with usually comes to me after the fact or when I’m rehashing arguments in the shower the next day.
[CH: Yeah, ‘lol’ is a very good all-purpose reply to female shit. Even better than ‘gay’ because it contains more ambiguity.]
LikeLike
Needs a wut? after the lol, IMHO.
LikeLike
lolwut implies investment in an answer IMO.
lol by itself doesn’t give a shit.
LikeLike
I guess I don’t think like a chick.
I only “lol” WITH somebody.
But you guys seem to be implying that chicks would be mortally afraid of someone laughing AT them.
And I have a hard time in summoning up that level of sociopathy when dealing with chicks.
If – as a precondition to getting in her underpants – I have to force her to fear that I might actually laugh AT her, then I’d have pass on it.
I just don’t feel like the poontang is worth getting quite that Dark for.
Maybe it’s different out here in flyover country, where it feels like we still have a few nice chicks, from good families, who can be gamed more or less on the up-and-up, without having to go Dark like that.
LikeLike
I still like “lol”. It drives me nuts when I’m looking for attention or any kind of serious response and all I get is “lol”
LikeLike
lol
LikeLike
What’s that supposed to mean?? Are you laughing at me?
LikeLike
Now that’s^ attention whoring.
LikeLike
ya..nice buttchin
LikeLike
Amy,
My buttox are smooth….
My buttox are round…
My buttox will soon make…
An Amazing Sound!!!
At that time, it will be your privilege to…..
…..(wait for it, wait for it)……
Detox my Buttox…
-GB
LikeLike
“Today I was fucking around on Facebook” etc…
That was your first mistake
LikeLike
We’re all laughing AT you…not with you.
LikeLike
Anyone have a link to the birthday cake cat pictogram JPEG?
LikeLike
It’s four images because FB use four sprites to make an animation.
LikeLike
http://pusheen.com/
All the cat gifs you can handle. Same artist.
LikeLike
There’s one with an illuminated technicolor birthday cake, everyone! With stars above it!
LikeLike
thanks
LikeLike
There is an easier way to avoid this situation.
Confirm a provisional date before you take any number. Then when you contact her, it’s just about arranging a date. If she doesn’t answer, you next her. If she answers and tries to reframe and get you chasing her for a date, you next her. If she uses the word ‘maybe’ in any kind of response, you next her.
If she suggests another date with specifics, you stay aloof and send her a minimal text laying out your date plans. If she doesn’t comply, you next her.
Otherwise, enjoy the date.
Let’s put it this way, if it was George Cooney, would she ask to be friends on FB before meeting him again?
Attention whoring in order to garner validation from beta orbiters has become a way of life for many young girls. A man of distinction marks himself out by circumventing these traps, and letting her know he is doing it too.
LikeLike
> “Attention whoring in order to garner validation from beta orbiters has become a way of life for many young girls.”
God I hate the 21st Century.
Mark my words: It will NOT end well.
LikeLike
The West is Circling the Drain …..
LikeLike
Yes, I’m thinking of that once in a while. In the past you didn’t need to jump through hoops. You inherited the family farm, or you were a shoemaker apprentice who would one day open your own shop, and that was where your value was, take it or leave it. Even the romance we read of, in the upper echelons of society, was more structured: you would go to the ball and there were rules for dancing, rules for talking to each other. Then you would ask a girl in a straightforward and polite way if you could see each other again, for her to reply to. There were no games.
More boring. But saner.
I guess we could take the way things are now without getting a headache if there weren’t bastards controlling the media and creating a trashy anti-culture. We would still have a bit of a circus in the dating sphere, but it would be much more peaceful. The women would be more mature, and the men as well.
LikeLike
I don’t think pre-WW2/pre-WW1 was quite that easy, and yes, there were plenty of games. Just not games like we’re used to thinking about it today. Hell, watch It’s A Wonderful Life (if you can stomach the syrup and dreck), the Donna Reed plays a big time form of dread game on Jimmy Stuart in order to get him attracted back to her after she returns from college, yet all of the “rules” were still in play at the time which made that period seem civil. Even the pre-college courtship had inkling of back and forth/game to it in a way. It wasn’t straight up honest “Madame, I formerly declare my undying lust for your winsome form, accompany me to the bedchamber and proceed to disrobe forthwith” and her answering “Oh, but of course M’lord, verily I too am quite taken with the way you cut a line in your stature and composure! To the bedchambers it is!”.
Any decent reading of extremely boring and inane 19th century Chick Lit (think Bronte and her contemporaries) will confirm a more subtle (or patently innocent blatant, depending) type of game at play between the sexes, just one bounded within a larger social rule set.
LikeLike
The key difference now is the illusion of choice; something that women aren’t conditioned (environmentally and genetically?) to be able to handle as well as men.
Consider the famous jam jar experiment. A stall selling 15 jams will sell less than one selling 5, because consumers find it easier to make decisions when faced with less choice. However, people will always go for more options.
Now think about this in terms of comparing the options (or rather the illusion of options) women had just 20 years ago versus now. Facebook, online dating, 24/7 social media, smart phones. The contact nodes are far more numerous now.
Behavioural patterns are, to a large extent, determined by the social environment. A girl with less options is going to be nicer to you, than a girl who thinks she has loads of options. Obvious, but easily forgotten.
And then they hit 30…..
LikeLike
> “the illusion of choice”
The combination of the complete abandonment of rules and structure, together with the presentation of essentially infinitely many possibilities from which to choose, is literally [not figuratively but LITERALLY] driving young women insane.
Women are not equipped to deal with the combination of infinite chaos and infinite temptation.
Either one would be bad enough on its own, but in combination, the two forces drive women completely insane.
Or, perhaps I should say, the two forces together unleash a woman’s inherent insanity, which civilized society had been created to contain and to control and to channel towards productive use.
PS: Oh, and the obligatory, “EXACTLY AS THE FRANKFURT SCHOOL PLANNED IT!”
LikeLike
Don’t forget that the traditional courtship ritual included having the man prostrate himself before the parents, and the father in particular.
LikeLike
was steve mcqueen born in the chateau heartiste?? http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2057769/Steve-McQueen-Wife-beater-drug-taker-relentless-philanderer-brutal-truth-actor.html
him and rubirosa high five each other
LikeLike
I feel like Steve McQueen can be appreciated on two levels. As a kid…you can recognize the man’s skill in seeing him race, ride motorcycles. Evel Knievel kind of hero worship.
As an adult, you see the effect he had on Ali McGraw and have a newfound respect for the man.
LikeLike
I call bullshit on the quote about Steve almost being killed by Manson’s minions. McQueen would have beaten the shit out of all of the Manson followers. If he would have been present at Sharon Tate’s house, Charles Manson would never have been a household name.
LikeLike
The only regret one can has about such a man is that he did not place more buns in them fine ovens he accessed. Mike Jagger FTW there.
LikeLike
That’s just depressing all around.
LikeLike
For once I actually disagree with the CH analysis. A girl that writes “do you like my pic of…” or “do I look sexy if …” or whatever is looking for validation. Validation of any type. Any response, however clever or neggy or charming or aloof is going to provide that validation, it is jumping through her hoop. An attention whore of this nature has sent this to dozens of guys, and if she’s hot, has gotten a dozen responses of varying quality and you just don’t want to be in that mix.
The best option is to ignore, to distinguish yourself from the masses. Women hate hate hate to be ignored over all else. You have to get her wondering if you are going to respond and why won’t you respond and does he hate me? Does he think I’m being a whore? An attention whore?. Any response, even if it sets a different set of wheels spinning is going to break this chain of thought.
If you must respond, do it at least several days later and ignores the original question. I think a ‘We’re going for drinks meet me at…” a couple of days later when her wheels have been spinning would be 10 times more effective than the most clever possible response. Because now she wants something, any validation, and wants to know why you didn’t respond in the first place and what will it take to get his attention anyway? Then when you meet up you can game and make fun of her text.
That’s what’s worked for me anyway.
[CH: The original emailer tried this tack, but it didn’t work. He asked her out, she made excuses. Changing the subject was no longer an option with any merit, based on past performance.]
LikeLike
[CH: The original emailer tried this tack, but it didn’t work. He asked her out, she made excuses. Changing the subject was no longer an option with any merit, based on past performance.]
Hmmm, I see you point. But then at this point he’s already overplayed or undergamed or she’s just not interested and he’s trying to turn all of that around. Seems easier to next her rather than try to turn around what is basically already a failure. This might just be a lost cause, unless she has hot friends.
In my experience ignore is the only way to successfully game an attention whore.
LikeLike
> “unless she has hot friends.”
Well I think we just answered our own question…
Hot Friend Game FTW.
LikeLike
Yes, if you look at a forum like SoSuave, you always see guys register to ask about this or that girl. “How do I get her?” “How can I turn things around?” And almost always the answer has to be that he should move on.
Game can help you catch a woman, but very rarely that woman, if she just isn’t interested. It’s like fishing. Good fishing techniques help you catch a fish, but not that fish that is simply not biting because it is full already.
That is not to say that game can’t help you catch that woman on occasion. Sometimes a woman is on the fence. Those are the ones we use various advice for, like when and how to set up a date, don’t talk her ears off, etc. You have to learn to recognize which woman is on the fence, which is DTF and which is a cold lead.
LikeLike
The best piece of advice for turning game into something other than a numbers game is to treat game like a numbers game. Think about it.
LikeLike
In line with #3, playing into their shit by going over the top works well too, you have to be careful, but well executed a ‘nice pic!’ kind of thing makes her wonder what exactly you are trying to say or imply.
LikeLike
put a lol in front of that and see how they react
LikeLike
Or a question mark behind it.
LikeLike
All the replies are pretty funny. More people need to have this sense of humor. These interactions are not life and death. Games are supposed to be fun! That’s why they’re played.
LikeLike
Hmmmmmm. Deeeep.
LikeLike
That is true, and one of the lessons I’ve found it hardest to put into practice. It’s easy to get invested when you have limited options, or if one of your options is particularly appealing. Being married and having access to readily available sex is no cure for this.
The only way to play this game is to fight against that tendency toward investment, and to avoid taking any of it seriously at all. That really is the master key that unlocks all doors.
It took me the longest time to truly grasp this, and even then, I’ve found my grasp to be tenuous. I think it would actually help if attractive whores were available. They’re not. If you want to bang a cute girl around here, there is but one way to achieve it: you have to pay the iron price.
LikeLike
” Being married and having access to readily available sex is no cure for this.”
Now there’s a sentence no man married over five years would recognize in reality.
Or did you mean “being married and having a mistress on the side”? If so, apologies.
LikeLike
I’ve been married for 20 as of yesterday, and I can go in there right now or any time and wake her up with my cock any way I want.
My wife fucks like a porn star, and even does ass to mouth, but she’s fat. I’m tired of fucking a fat chick.
I want eye candy. I want young pussy. Once I finally succeed in acquiring that mistress, my wife might never get laid again.
LikeLike
Couldn’t you just get your wife to lose weight? There are posts here on ways to “inspire” that.
LikeLike
I expect if I could afford to leave and did so, she would probably find a way to lose weight, Kate. Barring that, she’s never going to change this aspect of her behavior.
In all honesty, if she lost down to slimmer than she ever was at any time I’ve ever known her, she’d still be too fat for my taste. This is what I settled for as a 19 year old virginal dweeb who wanted to lose his virginity. I was already looking for an exit strategy when she turned up pregnant, and then I did what I felt was my duty as a man.
Now that I realize so much of what I always did wrong, it’s hard to imagine that I couldn’t do better than this. Physical attraction is a lot of it, but it’s also a marriage of an adventure seeking nature lover to a couch potato who gets seriously excited about reality TV. All we ever really had in common was fucking, and an interest in ancient history.
If life were simple, I’d just leave, but life just isn’t simple at all. She has her tendrils wrapped around every aspect of my life. My retirement, my phone, my health insurance; even control over my paychecks. I’m buried deep. It’s my problem to solve, and I honestly don’t know how the fuck to solve it.
Cheating is my most realistic option, and she agrees that my cheating is her most realistic option too.
Cheating sounds easier on TV than it is in real life.
LikeLike
I know. It isn’t simple at all, but you have more power right now than you think. I really identify with a lot of what you’ve written regarding young relationships and a partner who has given up. So much so I have thought about your comment for hours and written half a dozen longer replies. If I might offer some thoughts, your wife does seem to be lost in the divide between theory and reality. The realities of you having a mistress are not likely what she is thinking about when she says its okay. What she most likely means is that she isn’t up to the task of making you happy herself. But, in outsourcing that, she’ll create a new set of problems. Even if you weren’t concerned about the moral implications of cheating, which I suspect you are, the legal ones ought to deter you. Her permission now likely won’t mean anything if she changes her mind and divorces you later. It sounds like she need to get back in touch with reality through social interaction. She needs to feel what truly losing you or your support might mean.
LikeLike
Fucking women is funner.
LikeLike
Kate,
Detox my Buttox, you sluttox….
-GB
LikeLike
Women live for the light that such interaction with a man bring into their lives. They can get that light no other way.
It’s hard to overemphasize this. I’m not even sure if it’s accurate to say that women live for five minutes of alpha. They live for five minutes of alpha-like interaction, until the next five minutes anyway.
I bet that could un-friendzone many people if they’d do that. Friendzone is like being a girlfriend, and interactions with her girlfriend do not bring that light, in fact they are often moping about how to get that light.
LikeLike
“I bet that could un-friendzone many people if they’d do that.”
Great thought. The key is keeping it to five minutes. Short and sweet.
LikeLike
i just use “bored” and go dark until i hear back.
like Dal points out in “Choice Addiction”, it can go both ways.
LikeLike
When ghey doesn’t work, drop a “jesus” by itself. It’s a short response that shows whatever she’s asking/showing is a joke to you with the added possibility that she is a joke to you. It’s more effective than “lol” which can have the implication you actually think what she’s saying is funny.
LikeLike
How about something a little more devious? I have an old picture of me at some party with balloons and shit in the background. I have a big smile on my face and in each arm i have these 2 beautiful chicks in bikinis.
(Btw, in actuality, that day was just another day of work and i didnt really know the girls or score, but you know how pics always make life better than it may be).
I used to send that pic to my friends with the header, “Sorry i havent got back to you in awhile…ive been busy.”
So maybe wait 3 weeks and send that pic with, “Hey sorry for the delayed response..ive been busy…cute pic..lol.
LikeLike
Would be way too try hard. If you’re thinking this much on how to “get a girl back” you already lost. Hit her with a simple response until the tide turns, and then you can invest a bit more. If it doesn’t, you’ve moved on but left the door open.
LikeLike
Thanks, good points. its over the top..my favorite is still just ‘lol’.
LikeLike
Smart move. Always resist the “over the top” move, it’s almost always indicative of anti-game. If you stay away from that mindset and eliminate anti-game, you’ll have made an improvement 90% of dudes never make. At the later stages once you have your sea legs under you, you can add such spice in to have fun, but only after mastering the fundamentals and having decent success with them.
LikeLike
Fat cat picto takes the cake!
LikeLike
Not a bad suggestion, but hold the apology for chrissake. just a ‘cute pic’ is enough
LikeLike
So true, i was thinking about that later too. I broke the rule there, but I have almost completely erased that word from my vocabulary..and i notice the positve difference with women. its sealed in a tomb now and unearthed for very extreme occasions: ie. sorry..sorry ..sorry ..sorry. lol
LikeLike
one of my close friends during uni used to say sorry sorry sorry like 10 times a minute. to everyone. now he’s got this gf and when they first got together he’d do the same thing. now they’re engaged and we all know that fate
you can usually tell a man by how often and when he uses that word
LikeLike
“Jesus” isn’t funny and shows disapproval. That means she got to you. If you show you don’t like the picture, after having tried to game her and failed, that means you want it to be you in the picture instead.
LikeLike
I’m a banana. Peel me.
LikeLike
I personally would have sent a picture of me wearing a silly hat back. Silly hats, when done right, no can defense.
LikeLike
her: “like my photo of me getting kissed?”
you: “you’re real close with your dad/brother/cousin, aren’t you?”
^^^^
The first place my mind went to. I think she wants to make you jealous in a “beta bait” sort of way.
LikeLike
I think the same… and those girls are usually very jealous themselves… so the option if waiting some time and then the picture with 2 hot babes is a good one imo… she might respond immediately..in a jealous way.
LikeLike
Jealousy escalation. I like it.
LikeLike
“haha, who are you?”
LikeLike
“who is this” is a good one
LikeLike
And then intentionally misremember her a few times – “You’re that chick from the bar at the Ritz on Tuesday night?”
“The chick in the stacks at the library on Wednesday?”
“The chick at the gym on Thursday?”
“The chick in the grocery store on Friday, over by the cucumbers?”
LikeLike
How about “which one is you again?” (the boy or the girl)
LikeLike
“more tongue next time”
Thanks CH.
LikeLike
What about “that’s not how a man kisses a woman”
LikeLike
No Mr. special flower beta
LikeLike
“no tits no care” would work
LikeLike
no tits given no shits given
LikeLike
Great post, think most guys confuse attention whoring: demands for attention or false cries for help or fishing for sympathy—with IOI’s.
Honestly in this situation, withdrawl is the best and only option.
There is zero chance of anything developing and no amount of amused mastery will help.
However…this is not to be confused with shit tests or genuine IOI’s.
I’ve been gaming Church Girl and it’s going very well. But we went out the first time, I k-closed, then there was around 10 days of push-back which I correctly assessed as outreach for “Comfort”.
So we chatted and bantered back and forth by text.
She would write “You’re sick” in response to a photo of a pin-up girl or something I sent.
I’d reply by Agreeing and Amplifying: “Very sick, I need a nurse…but you’ll do”
She texted “I’m a sinner, you are very bad.”
Me: “The only sin I can tell you’ve committed is liking James Blunt’s music”…
But in my case the context is different. The girl IS engaging and these are IOI’s and shit-tests.
LikeLike
Sounds good except “The only sin I can tell you’ve committed…”. What is she, a saint? Should have been simply, “Yeah, you like James Blunt!”
LikeLike
Agree there, you got wrapped up and forgot to mini-neg. Overall very good, details very fixable.
LikeLike
Gotta confess – Attention whoring is like cat-nip to me … a pulled string.
How do I reconcile the 2/3rds Commandment and Maxim 5?
LikeLike
There is something faggy about all this no? Some broad sent you message on the internet and you are unsure if you responded correctly? Like a dude that is super into eating box or worries too much how he dresses, the hyper-game obsessive is usually a fag or an over-compensator and that shit is beta.
LikeLike
The following is what my gf of 2 years left me on a notepad minutes after I said we needed time apart:
“take her out,
I dread these next few days but if that’s what you need i’ll respect that!
As I said before, I’ll always love you and have a place for you in my heart.
Think hard, and have a good few days..blah blah
yours truly, ____ xo”
Not too shabby – thanks CH!
LikeLike
I’m speaking from experience here because I handled a similar situation once – the caveat being that it occurred both over Facebook and in person! In the end SHE asked ME out.
Please open your minds here for a second as you read this guys.
My theory is that this is the original questioner’s game to win.
I have a thought here for you: is it possible that in this particular scenario the correct game move is…to act more beta? An aloof, charismatic reply might be over-playing his hand.
[CH: I don’t get that sense here. She rejected his advance (one advance, so far as we know), and is clearly toying with him. Her facial expressions and body language would help set the context for her behavior. What’s she looking like in her kiss pic? An imp? Or a try-hard?]
He’s already displayed attractive masculine qualities. If you’re too aloof, too charming and in every context, it raises a woman’s guard. Even men become uncomfortable with dudes who are too suave, after a while. Too much savvy is toxic in the wrong context. Here, her ASD could already be fretting at the possibility of being nothing more than a pump and dump to this stranger after a brief mall encounter. By showing a tailored, emotional response to her message, this guy could quell her fears that she is nothing more than another warm hole to her. He could strategically reveal a chink in his armor. A “Byronic” flair. He would also show her that he possesses a real spectrum of human emotion and is not a closet psycho.
[What you’re talking about is vulnerability game. This game technique has been discussed on this blog many times as an effective way to keep women on their toes.]
He’s asked her out multiple times
[He wasn’t clear about how many times he asked her out. Nonetheless, if a girl rejects you multiple times, it’s a good bet it’s not more signs of beta maleness she needs to see.]
and she’s come up with excuses, yet still replies, so it seems that he is cordial enough.
[Her continued replies aren’t surprising, nor evidence of a need for beta earnestness. It’s common for playful sexy women to use clingy betas for sexless validation. Chicks with skin in the game have been known to string men along.]
Time to “break the spell” with a massive push since all he’s done so far is pull.
[Actually, the replies in the post are all “push” tactics.]
Example reply, using this framework:
Her: “Like my photo of me getting kissed?”
Him: “Your soul needs to be cleansed.”
[This is the high-falutin’ version of “lol”. Younger women (<25) may not get it.]
He would then IMMEDIATELY block her on Facebook and then report her (for lulz).
[FB blocking her after she sent a pic of her getting kissed by another man and taunted him with it? This is guaranteed to be perceived as a butthurt reaction.]
IF she then sent him a text message…ANY text message, it would be a sign that made the right move. DING, DING, DING, DING!
[Ok, but this is really passive game. Not dissimilar from radio silence.]
She is now investing in continuing contacting and has responded to his massive push with a pull. This would be a sign that she is a consummate drama queen, rather than an attention whore.
[Six of one…]
Ideal scenario:
Something like..
Her: “Did you seriously block me? Lol you have no sense of humor”
Him: “You must feel like you fucked up – can’t see why else you keep contacting me.”
[What you’re describing here is a subspecies of vulnerability game I call “No more game-playing” game. I like to throw out that text after a flurry of teasing parries if I suspect the girl I’m dealing with is an ingenue who loves drama but also has a strong romantic streak.]
BOOM. Even if she wasn’t that interested, it makes her hamster wonder “why do I care? Maybe I do like him..”
At this point she will get apologetic and either ask him to meet up or hint in some way that she is available.
Then, the ideal move in my mind would be for him to text her this:
Him: “Sorry, I can’t meet you this year. I have to [insert verbatim one of her lame excuses for not showing up to your suggested dates].”
[Phew, I dunno man. I’m picking up a vibe of resentment in this line. I get the idea, but memorizing a girl’s excuses and then feeding them back to her in a game of “gotcha”? Maybe I’m off the res on this, but I’d like to hear from other players on this board if they agree or disagree with my gut judgment.]
It’s not to be “badass” but to teach her a lesson that she cannot be rewarded with such contemptible methods. It also restores karmic balance to the force.
You wouldn’t lose with any of the comments suggested before…but I doubt you’d win.
[Your doubt is misplaced.]
LikeLike
But how is blocking her on Facebook a “tailored, emotional response”? I would just think you are weird. Creepy-weird. Guys don’t do that unless the girl is stalking or threatening them…. girls are the ones who will block over silly reasons.
Also, coming from a high ASD rules-type girl…. texting/IMing pre-meet isn’t really about screening for players. That can only be done (or done well) during actual dates. If she’s not interested in getting together with him, she’s not trying to weed out the players. She’s just not that interested.
LikeLike
@Byron
This is interesting. It’s exactly what a chick would do to a guy.
I’m going to try this and will report back….
LikeLike
Sup Wala!
I’m glad to see you’re still in the mix. That text exchange you shared was gold lol
LikeLike
BOOM. Even if she wasn’t that interested, it makes her hamster wonder “why do I care? Maybe I do like him..”
….No. She would think she really got to him, which she did.
LikeLike
Exactly, it is just too try-hard. If it would ever work it would be with someone who was already emotionally invested, which in this case the girl is not. So it would be generating a whole big drama and in a way that would be no more effective than just ignoring.
LikeLike
Well written
LikeLike
i submit that this works if you are pretty uber alpha and enjoy (as I do) what i call the yo-yo. get her, lose her, get her back. its a fun game for the pretty advanced and bored homie. similar to fucking with engaged girls for sport. or bartenders. whatever. or ex-GF game. same exercise.
i also submit that its only for the above average female, usually very feminine with a lot of sisters. meaning, daddy didn’t have enough T in his sack to make little boys/brothers. with the average girl you will just fry her circuits and she will check out on ya.
it can be a fun game for somebody with time to kill and wanting to dig in to the female psyche for fun.
LikeLike
I’ve got sons but I thought that had more to do with the wife. My wife and all her friends seem to have sons mainly. So I thought some sort of common factor was at work (no idea what) that caused sons to come out.
LikeLike
Him: “Sorry, I can’t meet you this year. I have to [insert verbatim one of her lame excuses for not showing up to your suggested dates].”
smells like butthurt… which leads to… he cares = she gets validated = she “wins” (attention whore behavior is rewarded)…and on to the next orbiter…
a year is a long time. why not just next her/go silent? Trying to get in the last word…? that seems like it would burn the bridge. I think it would be better to go silent, then ping her in a couple of months…
LikeLike
I don’t think it’s good to shove the girl’s lesson back at her. She is turned on by your fresh new bullshit, not her same bullshit that she’s tired of because it’s hers. Teach her a lesson somehow but in a way that promotes wetness.
That’s my feeling about it.
LikeLike
Hmm…Okay. Thanks for the replies everyone. I can see why most of you think it’s tenuous at best. It is a bit more of a caring asshole than an uncaring asshole, which is against the dark teachings, I know.
Some of you mentioned that it would require more of an investment in this guy…true. My case was different in that regard
I appreciate the instruction
LikeLike
” pest “
LikeLike
A teacher is giving his class a lesson on female anatomy. “This is the clitoris, this is the vagina, and here is the anus. Any questions?”
“Yes, I have a question,” one girl asks. “Can I put my panties back on?”
Peter
LikeLike
lol
LikeLike
Who says cats are the alpha male replacements?
http://f2bbs.com/bbs/show_topic/932780
LikeLike
I knew an attention whore whose powers were so great that she actually went through the college of engineering at a large Midwestern university, collected all the needy betas in her orbit, and then kept them there by creating an annual “Hot Guys of Engineering calendar” every January. Total puppetmaster stuff. They were pathetic.
By contrast, the first week I met her, she bought me shots at an off-campus bar and fucked me three times in a row at her place.
I wasn’t welcome in the College of Engineering, that’s for sure. Humblebrag: Being a contextual alpha actually can ruin friendships.
LikeLike
TL;DR: Humblebrag
LikeLike
Betas didn’t get pussy. I did.
Were you able to read that much?
LikeLike
The Consumer Guide to MIT Men
http://stickles.blogspot.com/2011/01/consumer-guide-to-mit-men.html
LikeLike
Birthday-cake cat is Pusheen the Cat:
http://pusheen.com/post/24100660383
With birthday cake:
http://knowyourmeme.com/memes/sites/pusheen
Pusheen was created by artists Clare Belton and Andrew Duff as a character in their webcomic “Everyday Cute”[3], which was launched in May 2010. … The comics revolved around the lives of the characters modeled after Belton, Duff, their yellow dog named Carmen and Pusheen, a chubby gray tabby cat based on Belton’s childhood cat. Her name stems from the Irish word “puisin” (“kitten” in English), which was given to the cat after she was adopted from a shelter.
Actually the picture is funnier without knowing.
Hey, “puisin”, “pussycat”? Turns out there is a connection, with puisin coming from Ye Olde English as well as many other Germanic languages:
http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?p=3373344
It appears as a name for a cat in other Germanic languages, pus and pus-katte in Low German, puse in Norwegian, poes in Dutch.
It shows up in 1726 as pussy , diminutive of puss. It shows up even earlier (1605) referring to Dick Whitington and his “pusse.”
The use of “pussycat” appears in print in 1805 in a nursery rhyme–“pussycat, pussycat, where have you been.” No doubt it was a common useage well-before that time.
It probably was turned into pussycat merely to make nursery rhymes flow more smoothly. Sing-songy kind of thing.
No, this doesn’t have anything to do with game, but I like learning.
LikeLike
Now showing on Thoughtcatalog (the same old damned thread that won’t die because I won’t let it) we have yet two more women who like me. “Katie Blume” who said she likes my attitude, and “Just another guest” who said she likes me, the only two examples of anyone liking anything about anyone else in the whole enormous thread.
And they are bitching at each other, I guess to compete for my favor. Not consciously, but because each feels like shit that the other woman is buttering me up, it makes them angry.
Interested in any suggestions for appropriate “amused mastery” I could drop in there. Since I am at heart an educator I mentioned to them that they harder on each other than they would be on a man and this shows how feminism is hardest on the woman. I may prove my point, but it’s a bit too intellectual to maximize the hamstering — my tendency to do this is a weakness in my game and my interpersonal interactions generally, I tend to spend personal capital to educate the other person or make some abstract point.
LikeLike
That’s funny. Well, it’s hard to give suggestions without having seen the whole conversation. Canned replies don’t sound as good as something that fits the context.
That reminds me, there are these two girls I’m keeping on a slow burner. One I see through a hobby once in a while, and the other I cold opened in the street one day. Every now and then I see one of them at a coffee shop for an hour and a half of talking, and same with the other one, and then I don’t meet them again for another 3-4 weeks. But just last week I found out that they are co-workers. It’s a small world. I found out from one of the girls, then sent an email to the other one mentioning that. They are both good friends in the workplace.
I was thinking that’s pretty good valuation, Girl A hearing that I am friends with Girl B and vice versa. Both are quite goodlooking by the way. Well, it still probably won’t lead anywhere, but once in a while I have these slow-burning projects, and sometimes they do pay off half a year later. (Then you find out the girl had a boyfriend when you first met, but she didn’t tell you, and now she is finally over the relationship and ready to have sex again. Yes, that has happened.)
Meanwhile I have dated and had sex with other girls. Which is not something I am going to mention to either of them. Although the girl who I share a hobby with knows one of those girls too – let’s hope she doesn’t hear about it.
LikeLike
Katie just accused Just of taking my side to curry favor with “the men in the discussion” meaning me. Just replied that she happens to agree with me (she has agreed with every single thing I’ve said btw) and that doesn’t mean she is trying to curry favor.
I replied to Katie saying I am a guy who wants to understand both sides and asking her view on my proposition that feminism is harder on women who step out of line than it is on men. Thus giving a little support to Just without being too obvious about it, see if it keeps the discussion going a bit more.
I really do want to understand both sides. If I understand the interaction from their point of view, well for one thing I value the knowledge for its own sake, and I will have more latitude for the next interaction.
LikeLike
Oh I suppose the link would be helpful. http://thoughtcatalog.com/brianna-wiest/2014/01/18-things-women-shouldnt-have-to-justify/#comment-1201126457
LikeLike
send her the vid of a bitch you know eating her own shit and laughing while you joke with her in between puking her guts out
ask her what she thinks
lol I think I reached the pinnacle there is no where else to go
LikeLike
well havin her drink rat poison I guess and say see ya in the next life as a one liner I suppose would be the top
obsession is so fucking hot
LikeLike
Pic of the half-buried body, with mutilations clearly visible?
LikeLike
That proves the premise of 1/3rd of all teenager movies of the 80s: If you can just get one cute chick to pretend to like you, the rest of the girls really will like you.
RT @FUSigma: @AceofSpadesHQ Hypergamy. It’s nothing more mysterious than that. minx.cc/?post=346468 @heartiste ””””””””
true only now other bitches are actually really scared by ex would kill them for being with me after the last act before she just sent competition to jail
my rep has gone through the roof
LikeLike
I knew not watching the video on internet would be worth it I was right he he he
same reason I don’t watch porn I want to see or do stuff in real life
LikeLike
Before stumbling out of the darkened wasteland into the bright lights of the Chateau, stories like this would have been somewhat baffling. Now they elicit nothing more than a knowing chuckle.
http://www.standard.co.uk/news/world/franois-hollandes-affair-leads-to-poll-boost-thanks-to-support-from-french-women-9058650.html
LikeLike
How about this: “Cute guy. What’s his number?”
LikeLike
Not sure an answer would be advised, attention whores who deliberately troll you for comments validating her wonderfulness aren’t worth the time. Especially after she’s blown you off on your attempts to get her out of the house AND then shows you her with another guy kissing her in order to, clearly, signal that she’s either not interested or playing you and him off against each other, which are both rather lame.
IF I was going to answer, I’d find a physical flaw in her pic or something in the background slightly neutral and off-topic to comment on, and leave the schlub and her need for validation entirely out of the response.
Her: “Do you like this….(whatever) of me doing (whatever) with (some random dude)”?
Responses (again, if I even bothered, which since I don’t use FB or Twitter is basically moot)
Me: “Why are you squinting?”/”Your ear looks weird”/etc.
or
Me: “You’re under/over exposed, use more/less light.”
or
Me: “Zepplin’s cool.” (if there is a Led Zepplin poster in the background, or whatever happens to be there, the more trivial the better).
No mention of him, no mention of her obvious deeply seated desire to attention whore, changing the subject and making her feel insecure because either you clearly don’t care (poster comment/photo quality) or you’ve noticed a flaw nobody else tells her about since they’re orbiters.
Might be entirely off base, I am much better in real life and off the internet, and frankly the entire “FB/Twitter” game thing seems rather like something I’m not interested in. There’s some value in text game, but it’s rather limited in my daily use as well. Gonna leave this one to the younger guys who are cursed with having to navigate around an All Comforting Ego Soothing Narcissist Grrlll World electronic hell of young air headed dimwit fluff bunnies.
Meh, I’d still stick with the silent response, in the end. Game her if you see her in real life again, but if she’s not willing to make that happen then what’s the point of continuing to indulge her narcissism?
LikeLike
I’d have gone with “rape!” or maybe “next”.
LikeLike
Terribilis est locus iste. Five points (inverted) to the resident Genius and mentor of the chateau. Time is of the Essence.
LikeLike
Keep eat-pray-loving in exotic brown lands, gals. Keep hating and being repulsed by us nice white guys who would take care of you while you’re at it.
http://www.cnn.com/2014/01/15/world/asia/india-danish-woman-gang-rape/index.html?hpt=hp_t2
LikeLike
Two FRs. Sexualized dating web site game. Low investment in profile, single picture.
Girl 1…
ME: hey “artsy” girl, that’s quite the choker you’re wearing in pic #4, lol. it is actually quite nice. just got on the site. how is it treating you?
HER: of course it’s nice lol. the quality of guys on this site isn’t so great.
ME:lol that’s probably because there are a lot of socially inept guys on this site. gotta take it with a grain of salt. you “tolerate” those guys with the delete button to get to the few guys you actually would jump into bed with lol.
HER: so this is a casual sex site?
ME: Sure. For some people, yes.I wouldn’t judge them for that either. It’s also a site for people who have no intention of meeting anyone but want to get a realistic idea of what their dating market value is. And I don’t think those people deserve judgement either lol.
HER: I’m not judging anyone
ME: you’re so close-minded!!!
HER: lol, you’re a taurus? when is your birthday?
ME: May 20th. I guess I’m like a bull in the bedroom, but honestly, that’s the only comparison I can draw. I don’t really believe in Astrology so much lol. Call me a cynic as I shrug my shoulders lol. are those sexy eyes astrological too or is that genetic lol?
HER: they’re genetic, like yours
ME: is that a veiled compliment? behave. You’ll me blush at work, and that looks bad lol.
HER:nice adjective use, lol
ME:lol…wow, I thought your profile type was “artsy”, not “bookworm”. Now I don’t know if I need to assign a punishment for missing an opportunity to call out the omitted verb in the second sentence
HER: lol, that’s too much
ME: how are you finding the boys on this site? have you skillfully separated the wheat from the chaff?
HER: It’s mostly garbage..but there’s a few decent ones here and there. I’m sure you’re finding the same
ME: yeah, it is. oh well. fat people and illiterates need love too, lol. I would ask you out now but I would want to straight to a hotel after dinner, and I don’t have the budget for that now lol.
HER: Bad grammar is a turn off. And wooow. Why would you need a hotel? You don’t live here?
ME: Good, I like turning women on. And to answer your question, it’s always more fun to end with breakfast in bed. (Unless you’re offering, lol.)
HER: That didn’t really answer my question though..
ME: I live in the city, with a roommate and he’s not down with hearing sex lol.
HER: Oh..interesting.
ME: lol. so do you live in the city too? let’s meet up for cocktails some evening. send me your phone number and I’ll send you a text.
HER: Yeah, ok sounds good. (XXX-XXX-XXXX, provides number)
Girl 2
HER: real estate people rock
ME: you made me think of something other than real estate when I saw your picture lol
HER: lol…funny..what do you do in real estate ? sales?
ME: Did you hear about that real estate professional who was using his high end units as a shag pad? Well, I gave that up once I got caught lol. I do investment and development work primarily in (city). But seriously, I don’t want to talk about work. Where did you get the dress in your picture? It looks hot on you.
HER: i bought it from a boutique in london..whats your name? I’m (Name) btw
ME: I’m (Name). That’s a nice red chanel handbag in the background. You have expensive taste, lol. You seem really into rules and authority in your profile, lol. I hope you’re sweet and nice for the right guy lol.
HER: nice to meet you (name) , and yes i do have expensive taste..lol you know how hard we work so to enjoy is a must! im not so much into rules as you think..lol i know people who pics ended p on commercials without their approval on dating site who later said they own everything on their site. So Im letting it be known..im not down!lol
ME: well I hope you’re down to wear that yellow dress if I set up cocktails for the two of us one evening.
HER: i have many dresses (name)…dont worry
ME: Not worried lol. I bet you look super sexy in all of them…send your number and we’ll set up cocktails sometime.
HER: ok (name)…not much of a cocktail girl…but call me (XXX-XXX-XXXX, provides number)
LikeLike
Hey man, I think you come across as a very cool dude in your messages to these girls.
What’s interesting to me is that you:
1. don’t at all worry about length compared to the woman (sacrilege!)
2. sexualize the encounter super quick in crafty, non sleazy ways
3. you compliment a lot without sounding supplicative (in my opinion). yet you do come across as lascivious…how does that work….
I’ll be watching your posts more now
LikeLike
thanks dude. plus that’s a good breakdown.
** I think it’s way better to be verbose, especially if you are intelligent and somewhat funny, than to be laconic. showing those traits helps you get selected. what you don’t want to do is constantly ping back, that signals insecurity.
** if you can sexualize in smart ways it shows intelligence, which is sexy. usually smart guys can’t sexualize. for one, it goes against socialization to talk about sex openly (makes guys feel weird.) secondly, they would rather tell a girl they’re in i-banker and hope she gets wet. in reality that only works for girls who are conscious of the what an i-banker is, which is actually a minority of girls, and definitely a minority of hot girls.
** the “don’t compliment a girl” school of thought is garbage. you are right, the rule really needs to be “don’t be supplicative.”
** lascivious is kind of a judgmental word in my opinion. what isn’t cool is pressing the discussion if the girl clearly isn’t into it, like she stops responding. the thing is a lot of girls want this discussion. imagine if you were checking out a hot girl for a week, got her number, texted, and her first response was, thank god you texted me cuz I’ve really been hoping to suck your dick. would you be upset? you’d probably be stoked. girls actually may want to fuck you.
** all this is extemporaneous, so you kind of have to be in flow. and you do have to escalate, can’t start out on the wrong food.
LikeLike
Hey Darkhorse,
Thanks for elaborating a bit! Gonna go chat up some honeys right this minute
LikeLike
Just a note about 1) … as time goes on you’ll notice that the maxims are extremely useful, but you have to sort of look at them as general guidelines. For example, if you are in a relationship/FB situ with a girl for 6 months — in the AGGREGATE, your behavior should more or less line up with the maxims. However, every particular situ requires calibration.
Sometimes you’ll need to give more — particularly in the early stages.
LikeLike
Gotcha, Scray. Thanks for the tip
LikeLike
Pursuing this 8…banging…23, sandy hair, green eyes, thin…tight….hnnnnnnnnnnnngh; background —>
I’d seen her a few times at the bar. I tried to hit on her once and failed. A week or so later, saw her again at the bar. I started to make some idle chit chat —- still kinda bombing — and got a lucky burst of social proof — I’ve drunkenly made out with the cute bartender several times, I kno like 60% of everyone who goes to the bar, etc. So, after that lucky burst of social proof, I glance over at 8. I’m still trying to figure shit out….she looks back at me, and I make a thinking face, drumming my fingers on the bar. She smirks….
“Just say it…”
“…AIDS.”
Her eyes widen — you know, the OMG wat is this guy doing look. Not laughter either, like….social ostracization. I pick it up again….time to take charge
“…Relax, I’m really good at this.”
“…you are?”
“Yeah— I give people AIDS all the time.”
“And you just share that with people at the bar?”
“Giving is sharing, so yes. I share AIDS with everyone.”
“I don’t know what this is, but it’s not working.”
“It’s AIDS. I just told you.”
Boom, got her. She’s doing the red-faced laugh. So over the course of that interaction, I decide that she must have a weakness for slightly darker guys — not black….maybe like, the lighter side of hispanic or something. She must also be at the point where she’s ready to “settle down.” Good on her for realizing that….she’s only 23. A lot of those types are like….29.
I try to get her to come over for a movie night for the day 2 — she says ‘ahahha no, we all kno what that means. lets meet for drinks.’
Ya, seems like she’s ready to hop off the carousel.
So anyway, day 2 I experiment — I go fairly beta with it. I buy her a drink, I chit chat about her interests, and I remain light on the kino. My efforts are rewarded at date’s end by a nice makeout session in my car when I’m dropping her off.
Day 3 rolls around. She still shuts me out of meeting at my place. It’s ok, my game probably could have been better, and I’m being more cautious than usual….I’m buying more into playing this bait-and-switch beta game. So we get some drinks again….I’m nice, easygoing….not aggressive. She talks about her aspirations, I entertain them.
So…over course of Day 3, she drinks a good amount. I notice that she’s starting to become distant. Fuark. Beta strategy fail? Probably. Whatever, just move on to the next girl.
Suddenly, she just blurts out
“why are you here with me? we have nothing in common? Like honestly, what the fuck is your deal?”
“……uh……..”
“No seriously, you buy me drinks and you’re just sitting here listening. You probably can’t wait to grab my ass later.”
“…..um…..”
“What, aren’t you going to say something?!”
I just start laughing in her face. I’ve never encountered anything so random.
“You’re going to laugh at me? FUCK YOU!”
She’s storming out before I can even pay the bar tab. I take my time — what’s she going to do, walk home? lol. This bitch walked all the way to my car, and I get there and she’s standing there with her arms folded.
“……I get the sense that you’re pissed about something.”
“I’m just cold, can we just get in the car and you take me home.”
“Aight.”
Get in the car, drive her home, and I’m silent the whole time — so is she — and I’m kicking myself for deploying any beta strategy. Then when we pull up to her house, I’m just like ‘well….gonna see this thing through.’
“Hey, I hope you had a great time. It was good seeing you.”
“….I’m sorry.”
“….for?”
“Being a bitch.”
She then….goes on a LONG FUCKING monologue about how different I am than all the other guys and blah blah blah blah blah. I’m like, oh well here comes the LJBF speech. That speech never comes. Instead, she kisses me goodnight….but then that kiss turns into a pretty insanely naughty sex act (some serious id from both parties).
…Cool, right?
Seemed like it for a few days. I had some shit to do, and the texts seemed cool. She agreed to come over, she was roleplaying like she was my gf. Cool.
The Day 4 rolls around….she switches shit up by saying she’s going out with some friends (I guess one of them had just gotten out of surgery or whatever). Fuck. That. I just make plans with the 7 and ignore her.
Txts:
8: Ya gonna meet them at X bar, hope to see you there
8: Okay we’re all going to Y now, are you coming?
8: Hey are you there
8: (hours later) You’re fucking annoying.
(next day, I look at my phone after leaving 7’s place)
Me: lol
8: Oh that’s funny? Fuck you, you fucking asshole.
Me: wat now
8: You never came you prick
Me: K. I was busy…is that not allowed
8: That’s not wherein (ya srs she said that) my problem lies. You completely fucking ignored me for the entire night. Do you think I’m stupid?
Me: 🙂
8: Have fun using someone else and then jacking off when you can’t anymore. Don’t text me anymore. Bye.
Haven’t even had the sex yet, so I was just like….’ok, guess she must have hooked up with someone and is taking it out on me, or some other stupid bullshit. who cares…’
Then….five days later
8: what have you been doing.
Me: using people and jacking off mostly
8: lol. you think we could be friends?
….
lol, I don’t even….
WHAT IS GOING ON. I DO NOT UNDERSTAND THE DYNAMICS AT PLAY HERE.
I’m tempted to respond “ya…come over and let’s watch a movie.”
I def am not interested in being friends, obviously.
I feel like this snake in the grass beta thing is like playing with fire, and I don’t really know what I’m doing.
—
Anyway, just a little morsel of what I’ve been up to — still hustlin’, strugglin’.
LikeLike
Scray, incredible read. Similar thing happened to me with the HB8 i picked up via daygame last week (sigh)
We gon’ make it my dude. Look at it this way, the next HB8 or less you go out with will be easier because of this.
LikeLike
just man up say “I’m interested in being the type of friends where your clothes come off lol”..you’ll get your answer pretty quickly if she’s DTF.
LikeLike
Writing that one down…
LikeLike
I lol-ed at that pick lol. Oddly appropriate here.
LikeLike
I feel like I can still bang her. I just….I’m like at a point past my ability right now and I don’t know what is happening. lol.
LikeLike
Lol that feel, I know it. It’s a mindfuck when a girl like that is giving signals and you’re oblivious to them because it’s not quite in your reality for them to be THAT into you THAT fast.
Win/lose bro just remember that it’s a net positive for you. With this girl, with the next girl…
LikeLike
she gave you an opening. conversation was very playful, sideways…your behavior established yourself as “not a pushover”…but you failed to establish yourself as a “gps toward the destination of sexual activity”. totally understand why, if you think this girl is super hot. it feels good to have some power, to stay in touch with her, and not to lose things if she rejects an advance…but really you never advanced.
LikeLike
So how do we advance? Real-talk. It’s tough man because this is all new and a lot of it gets fucked when you throw in emotions in the mix
LikeLike
I’m not a paid professional (yet) so any advice, please take with a grain of salt.
it seems like you have the charming/cool part down really solid. there needs to be some sex added to the mix. It’s tough to do without fearing that you’ll lose out on the 8 by revealing that you want to be sexual with her. but the attitude’s gotta be like “ain’t know thing if you’re not down with sucking my dick.” Instead of crybaby, pussy-worshipper who gets down on bended knee and declares “I promise to cherish this woman forever!”
check out my online text FR I just posted for some insight:
https://heartiste.wordpress.com/2014/01/14/gaming-attention-whores/#comment-518323
If you need practice, I would just try to make the second or third text you send to a new girl an innuendo. She’ll either be down or not, so you filter the girls who actually are attracted to the idea of sex with a fun cool guy as opposed to playing a guessing game.
So like “hey it’s immoral g”….”hey it’s new girl”…”(insert innuendo here)”.
It’s incredibly EASIER for a girl who wants to bang you to follow a sexualized lead than a non-sexualized lead because she understands it’s about sex. There is a road-map. If they are down you’ll see faster responses, more openness to a conversation, as opposed to the sideways bullshit one-upmanship games that try to establish DHV but don’t end up in the bedroom.
LikeLike
my comment is in moderation, but if you have a back and forth, post and I’ll help.
LikeLike
I didn’t read the entire FR…didn’t realize you had advanced to heavy petting lol. she likes you, she’s just a drama queen. I would just keep your distance for a couple weeks. silence will bring her to you. she’ll reach out again. been in this situation before. drama queen goes crazy. I cut her off, she apologizes and offers make up sex. right now she’s reaching out because she like you and doesn’t want to stop communicating. just wait till she reaches out again to set up an isolated situation.
LikeLike
All right. I’ll try to follow this advice — it will be difficult. Feel like an imposter. The thought of trying to have an LTR with this girl makes me laugh….so it’s that kind of a challenge to mah inner game.
LikeLike
Saw your comment about getting moderated. Just saying thanks in advance.
In a more recent post I’ll post my interaction with this HB8…for science.
LikeLike
@immoralgables
cool. can take a look at my FR post above scray’s FR. contains some online dating web site work that shows instant, upfront sexualizing. the girls know they’re walking into a sexual situation for these dates when they send me their numbers. those FRs are real online back-and-forth examples, verbatim. both conversations happened within the same day. attractive women too, one was 30, another 27. also can see examples of sexual frame in yareally archive. “getting sexual over text”.
LikeLike
and I don’t get what you’re upset about, either. she’s pinging you lol. you just need to flip on the sexual switch, and as long as she’s responsive, take care of the logistics and set up a situation for sex.
LikeLike
some credit to ya for probably putting the idea of AIDS in there lol
LikeLike
I agree with Immoral Scray. I enjoyed seeing a glimpse of what you more experienced dudes are going through.
13 sets today and no luck.
So of course I’ll just read and learn.
LikeLike
Answer a few Qs
1) Was this daygame?
2) How did you generally open?
3) How did most of the interactions end?
4) What’s your biggest stickingpoint?
LikeLike
@Immoral
Yeah, all daygame.
Standard opener is to find something unique about the girl’s appearance/mannerisms to comment on. I just come up with things in the moment. The two best sets today illustrate my trend:
Set 1 – walking toward the train in the subway.
Me: Hey! (I run after a cute girl – about 5’4” great complexion, obvious introvert) *light touch on shoulder*
Her: *turns around*
Me: You know who you look like?
Her: Erm who?
Me: Have you ever seen a Woody Allen movie?
Her: Yes..
Me: You know the one where he’s married to a hot nymphomaniac and they can only do it in public? You look like you could be their daughter!
Her: Hahahahaha so I’m somewhere in between?
Me: Hey, well she was a supermodel (the way I said it was flattering to her, not offensive.) You look Italian
Her: Hahaha I’m French actually
Set 2 – walking on the city streets
Me: Excuse me, hey let me stop you for a second (I run after a brunette about 4 inches taller than me w/light skin, dark eyes) *light touch on shoulder
Her: Yes, sir?
Me: Sir? You’re very formal, aren’t you *fake disapproving tone*
Her: Nooo *smile* What is it *smile*
Me: I have to say, I’m digging your fashion sense here. Lovely contrasts – the style seems very…Eastern European
Her: Thank you!! *confused and surprised tone*
Me: You can’t be from around here
Her: Oh, you’re right! No I’m from [city xyz]
Typical ending:
When using the subway I get around 2-3 minutes avg. before “there’s my train *runs after it* see ya!” or “this is my stop. Nice talking to you!” It never feels like I’ve had enough time to warrant asking for digits. Also, there’s me worrying about people listening. Not as much as before though.
Sets on the street last around 4-5 minutes and almost always end with:
Her: I have to go back to where hot girls come from (back to work/catch bus/etc.)
To which my standard response is:
Me: Oh well that’s too bad. I was hoping to flirt with you for just five more minutes *cheeky smile, hold eye contact*
Of the girls that it got to that point with, they all responded:
Her: Hahahaha oh!.. well..I have a boyfriend
And sometimes verrrry unconvincingly, I felt. They then stared at me until I said something. My routine is to exchange names here and shake hands to keep it classy. I then send them on their way.
Sticking point = zero numbers to work with.
LikeLike
@Immoral
1.Yeah, all daygame. A few were on the subway while the rest were on the streets.
2.Standard opener is to find something unique about the girl’s appearance/mannerisms to comment on. I just come up with things in the moment:
Set 1 – walking toward the train in the subway.
Me: Hey! (I run after a cute girl – about 5’4”, large but cute nose, looked very introverted) *light touch on shoulder*
Her: *turns around*
Me: You know who you look like?
Her: Erm who?
Me: Have you ever seen a Woody Allen movie?
Her: Yes..
Me: You know the one where he’s married to a hot nymphomaniac and they can only do it in public? You look like you could be their daughter!
Her: Hahahahaha so I’m somewhere in between?
Me: Hey, well she was a supermodel (I said all this in flattering, joking way so she took it as humor). You look Italian
Her: Hmm, very close! Guess again
Me: Urhhmm Spanish?
Her: *shakes head* Nope guess again, guess again!
Me: haha throw me a line here
Her: I’m French actually
3. All of them ended this way:
Her: I have to go
Me: Oh that’s too bad. I was hoping to flirt with you for another five minutes
Her: hahahaha…..well…I have a boyfriend
Me: Okay, what’s your name?
Her: Hot chick
Me: Alright, goodbye hot chick! Nice meeting you *shakes hand*
4. Sticking point: Getting plenty of IHABs from seemingly interested girls 3-5 minutes into conversations. It always happens at the exact moment I express more intent. Maybe they’re all trying to teach me a lesson by punishing my use of direct game too soon.
LikeLike
Hang in there. This comments section is filled with all of our rejections lol.
LikeLike
LikeLike
LikeLike
I think it’s her asd (ant-slut defense) kicking in. You sexualized it real fast with the AIDS thing, shit was real already with that. If you’re right that she is looking to get off the carousel and settle down, she doesn’t know how to do it either, but another cock is going to scare her.
I really like how you’ve gotten this far but I do think she needs reassurance and to see that you have “something in common” whatever the fuck that means. But you don’t really need much of it and you don’t want to become activity-friends anyway.
You’re doing push-pull and lately it’s been a lot of mutual push, maybe a bit of pull. I am just concerned that she’ll get more scared of you (hence, remote) as her hamster wheel turns. How about a dangerous activity where you can protect her?
LikeLike
Do comments like the ones you suggest work on like PhD having girls in their 30s or do they just ignore them?
LikeLike
Should work just as well or better on them than on others. It gives a welcome break from their life-of-the-mind, they like you to remember they have a pussy too.
Be verbally aggressive and confident with these girls.
LikeLike
[…] Commenter MercifulBoss asks, I was daygaming at the mall a while ago, got this girls number and took some photos with her and me in the photo for social proof. […]
LikeLike
[…] Gaming Attention Whores by heartiste. I said it before, I’ll say it again, love or hate heartiste, his game posts are insightful. Sure, this is not the kind of woman I’d want to deal with but in this day and age, if you’re not hooking up with an attention whore you’re probably celibate. […]
LikeLike