Sweet Rosalie writes,
I don’t understand how the married guy is “happily married” if he drinks so much and sounds so desperate. If I had been his wife I would have divorced him not for cheating, but for being such a desperate clingy beta (for a 36-year-old who treats him like s#it nonetheless). I wouldn’t mind too much my husband having an affair if he acts like a grown-up, but the sight of my husband losing his head like a (drunk) teenager would be unbearable.
It’s helpful to remind oneself that the male mind is as, if not more, unfathomable to women as the female mind is to men, and this is particularly so when we speak of the primeval parts of the brain responsible for regulating romantic feeling. Rosalie is Exhibit A. She can’t understand how a man can be both happily married and desperate to bang an office hottie. But men are perfetly capable of compartmentalizing sex and love, something women can’t do or can only do with strenuous mental exertions that defy their natural psychological predisposition.
FACT: Most men can simultaneously love their wives and lust for their mistresses.
FACT: More men than women are capable of LOVING two or more romantic partners concurrently.
FACT: A man can sustain and reconcile a happy marriage and a romantic fling for decades without feeling an urge to give up on either one.
Women have trouble doing any of the above three axioms with the same ease of execution and peace of mind that men naturally possess. There are exceptions, but this is the way to bet.
Rosalie, therefore, is befuddled. And Rosalie should not be chastised (gently mocked, yes) for her befuddlement, because it is the nature of her sex to project her own desires and compulsions onto the motivations of men. It is a rare woman indeed with the self-awareness to understand men’s romantic desires and to predict men’s actions based on that understanding. It is the rarer woman still who will forgive men for following their desires in the same reckless manner that women unabashedly follow theirs.
Rosalie’s confessional blurt reveals something else of the character of women. It isn’t the cheating per se that offends her; it’s the man’s clinginess and betatude with which the hope of cheating is pursued that gets under her skin. This is in line with the CH contention that, deep beneath the reservoir of polite social expectation that wraps cortically around the id monster, women aren’t so scandalized by a cheating lover as they are emotionally traumatized by a cheating lover who cheats with sub-par fare and does so with the mien of a mewling betaboy in a rush of love. (That post, btw, garnered a response from a more optimistic man than I.)
Rosalie is woman. The sex act of the cheater is not the crisis of heart for her. The betrayal of *love* is what sets her off. Like most women, what she truly fears is infidelity of the heart, not infidelity of the groin. This is why it’s so jarring to her to hear about, or visualize, an older husband falling gaga in love with a younger woman, and reverting to a primordial beta prototype in the process.
Sweet Rosalie, if only there were more women like you who spoke truth to id, and understood that alpha husbands sometimes need sexual and romantic outlets, and that this male desire needn’t mean the end of their marriages. Are you French, by any chance?
What she truly fears is that the mistress will take her precious resources and pack mule away from her.
ERRRRRRRR…I mean his heart.
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Gotta disagree.
What she [the hypothetical woman in question] fears is that she fucked up her entire life [and, even more importantly, the survival prospects of her male progeny] by marrying a worthless beta LOSER!!!
That’s the Darwinian/biological aspect of the alpha/beta thing where I can feel some sympathy for the woman.
Bitches do NOT want to be married to some worthless beta caveman panty-waist whiner who will curl up in the fetal position and start sucking his thumb and crying for his Mommy at the first sign of a saber-toothed tiger sniffing around their cave.
Rather, a woman wants to be married to a full-blown mouth-breathing knuckle-dragging furrow-browed troglodyte, who will stare Mr Saber-Toothed Tiger square in the eye, and announce, “Okay mother-fucker, show me your A-Game.”
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Red pill stuff for women right here.
This post should have its own tab at the top of the page and a compulsory read for women visiting this site.
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When it comes to adultery, I’m a one woman man.
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An excellent specimen. Rosalie is appalled by the clingy beta, but would likely be aroused by the “alpha with options” were he to have his affair with discrete gusto. Men who choose not to have affairs can still test this feature of women via discrete flirting in the appropriate venue – a whiff of “he has options other than me!” will kick start some hamsterbatics very quickly.
Men who still doubt Game’s reality, on the other hand, can also test this by merely acting towards their girl / LTR / wife as this man did towards his office paramour. If Game is false, then self-betaizing should have no effect upon the wife / LTR / girl’s response. Of course, no Game skeptic has ever to my knowledge actually taken the steps I outline. I suspect that is because at some level, they know what would happen…
And yes, Earl, there is more than a whiff of “oh, noes, loss of resources!” here, but do not underestimate the raw hate women have for beta men, clearly displayed by Rosalie.
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I’m in the exact same situation as ‘married man’ – Didn’t quite reach the level of embarrassment – but, EXACTLY the same situation.
After the first ‘not interested’ – I over gamed. Same outcome.
The ‘married man’ summary is dead on … I was an emotional tampon.
This Rosalie comment above is just another female rationalization meant to ensure that the ‘married man’ isn’t left with a single shred of dignity.
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I am partly French. Actually I am a weird Euro-mutt mixture: French-Russian-Romanian (?!, but true). But enough about me, because I have to explain myself and what I wanted to say in that post….
My opinion is that the de-masculizination of Western men has run so deep, that they can’t even have affairs and mistresses in a dignified, elegant manner anymore. For many generations before us (before the 60s, that is), it was generally understood that in order to have a long, successful marriage, women should be prepared for a certain level of cheating from their husbands. While everyone was discreet about it, girls knew before marriage that a husband’s adultery was not a sufficient reason for divorce. Yet the society still had some expectations from the husband: that he will show social decorum, that he will continue to put his family first, that he will be in control of the situation and that he will balance the two sides of his life in such a manner that the social appearances will be preserved.
Now, let’s go back to the story of the “happilly married” man: not only he acted as a (drunk) beta in front of his potential mistress, but in one of the numerous times he got drunk, he confessed to his wife that he was crazy about his co-worker. (It’s not the first story of this kind I read on CH – married men who want to cheat and they want the approval of their wives). Now, if I was the wife of this man, what should I say? “So, honey, what do you want me do? Offering dating advice? Chasing tail for you? Do you want me to beg her to sleep with you?”.
Can you imagine J.F. Kennedy telling his wife “Jackie dear, I feel like cheating. I’m crazy about Marilyn, you know, the actress. Any thoughts? What do you think?”. Or Louis the XIVth going to the Queen: “You know, I’m crazy about that broad, Madame de Montespan. Just so you know it, I want to f#uck her!”.
I would prefer a husband like JFK: it’s your business how many mistresses you have, just keep me (and our children) out of this. I can accept your affairs. I wont’s accept your foolishness.
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Rosalie
I can accept your affairs. I won’t accept your foolishness.
Or, in Game terms: “I accept your Alpha with all its flaws, I won’t accept any betahood”. This quote is pure gold. Many men would be much happier with their wives if they truly understood Rosalie’s statement.
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I don’t understand pretty welI this ranking of men according to the Greek alphabet. Men are men or they are not.
[CH: Some men are more men than other men.]
I think it should be common knowledge that the only sin we can’t forgive in a man is weakness.
[Women find it tough to forgive shortness too.]
Otherwise, we can forgive pretty much everything – being cheated on, beaten, humiliated (many examples). I don’t say it’s easy, but as many examples in real life show, most of the times they are forgiven. It looks like weakness is a man’s Capital Sin in our eyes. (I’m not proud of this, I just notice.)
[That’s true. Weakness is the tingle killer.]
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Short men have to be extra tough.
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I get it in.
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Pretty much.
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It’s not that women hate it when you play the game. It’s, as K. Rog put it, “if you’re gonna play the game boy, you better learn to play it right.”
Also if you’re short I recommend demonstrating power through intelligence, i.e. cunning. Tis pretty much the only legit way.
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Add muscle.
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Then they just look like a smurf with muscles.
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It’s been proven that, though women love tallness, they like broadness even more.
Broadness at the shoulders, not at the waist, mates.
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I don’t understand pretty welI this ranking of men according to the Greek alphabet.
I don’t really love the alpha/beta terminology, because it tends to be overdone, especially when people forget its origin. The history is this: “pick-up gurus” used to write books about how to be a “Pick-Up Artist”, PUA, and they used that in forums too (and still do), forums meant to stear people toward buying their books and videos and paying for their seminars.
The manosphere got started mostly in the PUA forums and moved to blogs. A new word was needed, because PUA sounds immature and was too narrow. For a new word to replace an already established word, it needed some real-world gravitas. “Alpha” is what the head wolf in a wolfpack is called, so it would do fine. “Beta” then follows because that is the name for the other wolves.
However, “alpha” and “beta” should not be overdone. Alpha in the manosphere context means only one thing: the ability to attract women. Beta, then, is the guy who is stuck on square one where he thinks he should buy her flowers and declare his love off the bat, things like that.
“Natural alphas” are the guys who instinctively know how to pick up women in the modern environment, but they are few. The manosphere wants to teach what they do to other men who want that knowledge. Used right this knowledge makes sure all are better off, women too for the most part. No more clingy, mushy guys who don’t understand subtle cues.
However, this says nothing about their capability in other areas of life. Both “alphas” and “betas” can be science geniuses, captains of industry, successful athletes, or not. The vast majority of men are betas. This doesn’t make them inferior in any area of life except when it comes to picking up women.
Again, this is often forgotten because of the origin of the words. The alpha wolf is indeed a leader and a superior specimen. There is no “game” among wolves, the alpha wolf gets women precisely because of his quality in a harsh environment where that is all that matters. The modern dating scene is not like that. (Although I think many would prefer that dating was entirely about your quality and what you could bring to the table, like it has been in the past. You wouldn’t have to go through college seeing the girls swoon over guys just because they can move right on the dance floor.)
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Now that you point it out, it did sound as if he was asking his wife for approval. That may be the worst of all the mistakes he made.
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Hey Lara, I’ve got a community of likeminded women going on Reddit if you want to come check it out, leave me a comment on my last blogpost, if you’re interested. You’d be good company
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“I can accept your affairs. I wont’s accept your foolishness.”
I consider affairs foolishness, but I do confess I wonder just what it was that Jackie O had: married to two major alphas, taking Onassis from Maria Callas.
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I consider repressing sexual desire foolish
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I consider same age marriages foolish.
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no disagreement there, babe
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Preach it Brotha!
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Back in the day I moved in some of the same social circles as she did, so perhaps I can give you something of a man’s take on this:
No. I can’t. It beats hell out of me too. Perhaps she was a bit borderline and only “turned it on” for her specfic targets. I never saw that she was anything special.
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No kidding!
Maybe I should read a biography. And wear more hats 🙂
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Protip: Stay away from the pillboxes.
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haha okay 🙂
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I never got the impression Jackie had some magical effect on men. I imagine JFK felt pressure to settle down, to fulfill his father’s political ambitions, and Jackie fit the bill of a good politician’s wife. For Onassis, she was a status symbol.
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For Onassis it was surely a status symbol. The story goes that at the height of his wealth and fame he boasted in front of his friends: “I believed I deserved as a wife the most famous woman in the world, but the Queen of Britain was already taken. So I went for the second most famous woman in the world, the First Lady of the USA”.
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Thanks, ladies! 🙂
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Rosalie, you made my day. I thought women of your insight had passed generations ago. Let’s meet for a drink.
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I agree with Odysseus, Rosalie. It is refreshing to hear such clear headedness from a woman.
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Hear hear. I believe anal is in order!
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My opinion is that the de-masculizination of Western men has run so deep, that they can’t even have affairs and mistresses in a dignified, elegant manner anymore.
I know what you mean. Nothing is more pathetic than a middle-aged man suddenly starting to sound like a kid. When he talks to women he dates, sounding like a love-sick teenager. When he flirts with 21-year-olds on dating sites. When he sends birthday cards to his estranged children with cutesy expressions he never used while the family was still in one piece. Suddenly a capable man turns into mush at the onset of old age. For a woman that must be a disgusting sight.
And there is no excuse whatsoever for writing puppy-eyed love notes. Dignity, people. We want women who want men to lead. We should therefore be men who deserve to lead.
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”For many generations before us (before the 60s, that is), it was generally understood that in order to have a long, successful marriage, women should be prepared for a certain level of cheating from their husbands.”
It had to be really sad. I’m happy that today women don’t have to put up with this anymore. I’d get totally depressed if I found out my husband is cheating on me.
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I believe women were wiser and more realistic before feminism. They understood the nature of men better – and men understood the nature of women better too. It’s sort of funny that today we are so familiar with every detail of the anatomy of the opposite sex (due to sexual liberation, porn, etc.), yet we are so naive regarding the psychology, the needs and the peculiarities of the other sex, not mentioning our naïveté about the relations between women and men.
Most women used to accept that men have different sex drives and different sexual needs and an affair is not a sufficient reason to deprive your children of their father. I think they were stronger, tougher and more powerful than us. You have to be really strong to accept this reality of life.
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”I think they were stronger, tougher and more powerful than us. You have to be really strong to accept this reality of life.”
I agree with you, you have to be a strong woman to accept that. I’m afraid I’m too weak for this.
”Most women used to accept that men have different sex drives and different sexual needs and an affair is not a sufficient reason to deprive your children of their father.”
I’m not sure about that … OK, when father is the only provider, I could understand that. But nowadays when us women have our own money I don’t think we should forgive cheating. Isn’t it better for children to grow up with a happy single mother than with two unhappy parents? Men who cheat can also infect you with diseases which is another problem. And they can fall in love with their younger lovers and leave their wives.
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“Most women used to accept that men have different sex drives and different sexual needs and an affair is not a sufficient reason to deprive your children of their father. I think they were stronger, tougher and more powerful than us. You have to be really strong to accept this reality of life.”
I think the opposite is true. It is easier, more convenient, and less expensive for the woman to stay with a cheating spouse (especially as the notion that other women are attracted to him fuels the wife’s desire for him) than to leave him.
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I’d be more concerned with catching an STI or my husband conceiving a bastard with his mistress. I work hard also and there is no way in hell I would let some whore’s bastard take from my kids! I would leave him before that ever happened. By the way, this happens more than you know.
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To pull a husband like a JFK you better bring the matching goods. like CH says below, some men are more men than others…same goes for women. Hot, feminine, with a sweet disposition are the big 3. You sound like a ball buster already. A woman can fake it to make it…. I’m still not buying you can fully apply these principles we talk about here regarding understanding of the masculine mind in a heated lovers quarrel that you are personally involved in. Don’t take it as a jab. Every woman I’ve discussed these things with, sure enough, suspends logic, turns into a big emotional blob, and can rationalize away anything further proving that she can probably grasp what’s written but application in the field is a whole other ballgame… Women can’t BE men, implying you can is just being a know-it-all. If you think you can get inside a man’s head and FEEL what he has to deal with then your demand for such a high level alpha reeks of entitlement as you’ve already dropped the ball on the feminine part. Feminine women don’t even try to think like men, because they know they can’t. You can’t empathize, you can’t understand a man’s path.
Honestly I would pass on any woman contributing to a red pill blog as their “know everything” attitude would likely be suffocating. You already can’t tolerate one ounce of vulnerability from a man while many a women have at least some buffer, likely picked up from reading these entries “I deserve an uber-alpha!” Really, from your entry you come off as if your man were to shed a tear for his mother dying he would disgust you to the bone. Just like a loser nerd thinks he deserves some HB9 for his call of duty skills and wimp arms, I assure you don’t deserve your top notch alpha like you think.
Not much is more annoying than a woman who thinks she has some hidden inside knowledge, you never hear the end of it.
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Although I agree with the basic thrust of this article, I’m not buying the idea that women don’t compartmentalize love and lust. After all, that doesn’t jive with beta bux; alpha fux?
[CH: The difference is that men can compartmentalize love and lust over a long time period. Women, when they do this, tend to do it for short bursts, which allows them to, say, fuck around during ovulation without feeling too much guilt about it. Women will also feel less love for their beta male husbands if they begin to share time with alpha male lovers. So in this sense the compartmentalization ability of women is very fragile, and fleeting.]
I know CH said more men than women can do this, but I’ve sure seen a lot of women do it too. I’ve played the alpha fux part often enough to be chewed out by more than one woman who desperately loves her husband or at least doesn’t want to lose him.
[That isn’t love, that’s fear.]
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I got this one:
Women lust for the alphas, which also make them love the alphas.
Women LET betas fuck them and SAY they love betas, but we all know better than that.
Remember: men love with their hearts, women love with their vaginas.
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This is so stupid. men love with their dicks, bray. As in, if she’s HOT you WILL fall in love. Sexual attraction, i.e. lust is the prime ingredient for love in both sexes.
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Which, to be clear, means that I believe men are more capable of loving more than one partner simultaneously. I don’t know about the whole ‘love/lust’ compartmentalization.
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bullshit. I just ended a 2 yr relationship with a 9 blonde because she has small tits and nags.
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Lol contradiction —> 9 blonde and small tits.
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Are you in love with your hands then, bray?
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wat…some people are blessed and need to use both hands. thx for noticing
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If she’s hot, I WILL want to fuck her.
Men watch porn to jerk off, not to fall in love.
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and after fucking a hot girl you genuinely lust for, you will fall in love. apparently you think jacking off to porn = fucking a hot chick. If only it were so simple, bray.
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“and after fucking a hot girl you genuinely lust for, you will fall in love”
Spoken like a true beta.
“apparently you think jacking off to porn = fucking a hot chick. If only it were so simple, bray.”
Logic is clearly not your strong suit.
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And don’t make me pull out all the scientific datas that say men actually love the women LESS after sex.
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No, spoken like a realist. Evolutionarily, women trade up by laxing their commitment requirements — fucking up. Men trade up by increasing their commitment efforts — loving up.
Just like women have a dual mating strategy, so do men. Men fuck many partners — that’s true, but men also tend to fuck down. This is why the married guy cheats on his wife and has mistresses but tends not to leave his wife. When he does leave his wife, it’s because he’s finally found a “better” option. So, a man will devote the vast majority of his resources to a small number — probably one — of high quality long-term mates.
Men value looks. When a man finds a woman he LEGIT finds very attractive, he will fall in love with her. Love encourages this investment. Has nothing to do with Beta. If you -don’t- fall in love with hot women, then there’s something wrong with you. Falling in love doesn’t = acting like a complete jackass. Here’s a paper about short-term/long-term mating strategies.
http://www.psy.cmu.edu/~rakison/bussandschmitt.pdf
So go ahead, pull out your scientific data. I’m willing to bet that it’s explained by the fact that men tend to fuck -down-. In that case — no shit men become less attached after sex.
And yeah, the fact that you’re standing behind something as imbecilic as jacking off to porn = fucking a hot chick outs you as a Keyboard Jockey. Go fuck a hot chick, come here and reread the stupid shit you wrote…then laugh at how retarded you sound.
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I’d say it depends on how the sex was.
The sterile hole of feminist darkness is six of one, half a dozen of the other.
The fluffy abyss of dewm, on the other hand…demands total mind, body, and soul involvement. It makes you promise things and calculate what length of chain would reach from your bed to your bathroom, and maybe your kitchen if she’s southern.
If no woman has ever blurred your compartments, you’ve never really had sex, just bodily friction.
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“If you -don’t- fall in love with hot women, then there’s something wrong with you.”
That or there is something else very wrong with her, aka the exception to the rule. Men love hot women much like women love babies for the most part. I also believe men will love an older woman , if he knew her in her youth and was the mother of his children, just like a mother always remembers the lingering memories of their adult children. Aging career women fail to understand they are like a 10 year old being adopted out of foster care. I have no idea what the hell they think they are doing or what virtuous cycle of attachment they think exists. If men fell in love with women near the end of their reproductive cycle, we’d be extinct.
I have even seen some men still have a thing for girls they knew in high school, if they retain some fraction of their former beauty; memories matter. It is plausibly adaptive for men to return to women they knew in their youth because they may have even unwittingly fathered their children,
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should be clarified “HOT” should incorporate physical attractiveness, femininity, and sweet demeanor. I’ve known and banged super hot girls that I absolutely couldn’t stand otherwise. No possibility for a relationship..and on the other hand, have been in relationships with girls 1 or 2 points below on SMV who I adored. Girls seriously do not understand what a sweet, calm, courteous demeanor will do for their love life. I don’t care if the girl is model hot, if she’s a bitch, she’s a bitch. Of course I would still bang but that’s it. Just because a girl is physically attractive a smart man wouldn’t fall in love with her based on that alone
I came up with this a few weeeks back… “Girls are either unfuckable or undateable” Not a concrete rule but the gist is, in 2014 the hot girls are nearly unbearable otherwise. With social media and smartphones, keeping their attn for more than 5 minutes is a chore, and they know it….and they’re entitled bitches. The ones that are worth hanging on to..man they just don’t do it on the eyes..
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Bray is a verb. It’s the sound a donkey makes.
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Bray is also a slang form of ‘bro.’ A variant of ‘brah’
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Scray, I think you’re still at the hound-dog stage. At this stage, you’d better not love those chickies with your heart. Game does a good job preventing that from turning on prematurely (don’t get oneitis, don’t cuckold yourself by committing to a single mom, etc.), making the dating experience much better for men.
There is a paternal stage that it’s supposed to lead to. The heart is involved there. It’s involved in the woman’s maternal stage too, but only for the children, not especially (and sometimes especially not) the husband.
That doesn’t mean that your dick turns off. But for the record my wife looks about the same as when I married her.
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Uh….of course I love them with my heart. If you’re going after chicks you have no feeling for, then you’re just masturbating with cunts. Maybe that’s the life for some people. Not me. I like the effect beauty has on me, and I like the way it makes me feel. Maybe I’m not ready for a full-on commitment. Maybe in the future I realize that I’m never going to be able to be a faithful husband….but oh well, that shit’s for the future. Has no bearing on my ability to care.
As for oneitis, voluntary cuckholding, etc. I just put that all in an evolutionary context. If you are a 7 and could be assured of 3 awesome babies with a 10, but the 10 has a kid already….is it worth it? Idk, tough call.
Now I get how some people will say ‘that’s desperate, you should find a 10 without any encumbrances.’ First, I will say lol. Second, I will say that everyone has to concede that at any give time, a man has a maximum limit to what he can pull — maybe it will get better over time, but in that moment he is limited. So…..he should always get the best he can.
Plus….get even realer….you’re a man. You’ll only be with her until that something better comes along. Then you can jet off and do your thing if you want.
Now, once you get your own personal moral standards going….you’ll tell yourself ‘I want to avoid these situations because I don’t want to start and breakup families, etc. etc.’ but I’m just giving you the raw amoral picture.
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I love my children with all my heart. But I also don’t take an ounce of shit from them. Any resistance to my authority when applicable is futile, and they are called to heel. I also love my wife with all my heart, and would not hesitate to do anything necessary for her well being. Taking her shit does not contribute to her well being. When did love become associated with weakness, blubbering and puppy dog eyes? They is a childlike love for a jar of cookies which is nothing but the satisfaction of an appetite, accompanied by desperation to fulfill it with the fear of loss , all fundamental, childlike weakness.
Its quite all right to love a woman even at the early stages, but this is no reason to begin a display of weakness. And to the degree a woman will mold to you she will become as quickly deserving of it as the mold that you make from a lump of clay turned into porcelain . That is not to say women are mere lumps of clay. However their virtues as expressed in erotic affections towards you certainly are.
Some men in the modern age have decided this isn’t possible. It still is, but it is harder. If they decide not to love and bang away at the only virtue that can be substantially verified like a tight ass, then that is understandable. Love yourself and don’t fall in love with that junk.
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Muh dikkin’, tastes like chicken. You’re a color blind man telling us that two of the colors on the traffic light are exactly the same.
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And you are not a man…or you’re the kind of “man” overly concerned with the regulation of other men’s penises.
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Muh sequitur.
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Still a valid observation.
Men who make a big deal out of who other men fuck are the lap dogs of insecure women. Whenever you insist on white knighting for “white” women, you’re displaying the stump where your balls would be.
It is disgusting.
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We are all stupider for having read your “valid observation”. May the hyenas have pity on your corpse.
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In a way, you are correct. If you were smarter, you’d be worried about something that really mattered. The more you indulge your stupidity and worry about the wrong thing, the stupider you become.
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Shhh —The adults are talking.
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Sure, if by adults you mean confused betas.
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My comment was rude. I apologize. I get grumpy.
You’re comments are wrong. I’ve never “run a routine” in my life. There’s a lot more to relationships that being an alpha. Women appreciate charming mastery a whole lot more than grumpy mastery.
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Remember: men love with their hearts, women love with their vaginas.
I see this sometimes in manosphere blogs and “PUA” forums, and I am still amazed by its whiff of loserness. With no proof whatsoever some claim that only men can love, while women are these cold, greedy creatures who don’t love and have no loyalty. Precisely what feminists say about men to feel superior. There is no scientific backing for this: by contrast research has many times shown the abiltiy of women and men alike to feel love and loyalty, in case research was needed. Love is not magical, but it is a strong instinct that fills an evolutionary purpose.
But hey, whatever soothes your ego while the other guys go on dates, get girlfriends, get married (boo, hiss, alimony!) and have children. “Sour said the fox, who couldn’t reach the berries.”
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Yeah, anyone who claims women don’t feel love hasn’t experienced it from a woman. Now this is a different question than asking if women are naturally more machiavellian in the romantic sphere. In this respect, women outshine (outendarken?) men. But once a woman falls in love she can become more obsessed than the most idealistic man. If anything, men’s love tends to dim faster as the novelty of the sex wears off. Women’s love strengthens as the emotional bond grows.
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“If anything, men’s love tends to dim faster as the novelty of the sex wears off. Women’s love strengthens as the emotional bond grows.”
Explain the divorce industry.
[CH: The end result of women’s love dimming. I didn’t claim that women never fall out of love.]
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CH
Yeah, anyone who claims women don’t feel love hasn’t experienced it from a woman.
———————————————————————————–
Boom!
Guns aren’t the only things they will hide for you.
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Your lack of comprehension baffles me. Let me break it down to you in laymen’s terms:
When men love, they demonstrate their loyalty via resource and emotional commitments.
When women love, they demonstrate their loyalty via vaginal commitments.
Hope this helped you and the idiot above understand life a little better.
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Your lack of clear language baffles me. “Women love with their vaginas”, seriously? Women show their love in many ways, just like men do. And “Explain the divorce industry”? Yes, due to feminism and certain other conditions that make people immature, along with the U.S. laws that allow women to get half a man’s paycheck, women initiate divorce more than men do. How would that mean that women, as CH says, wouldn’t feel strong love and become even more loving as feelings in the relationship deepen?
Who is “the idiot above”, CH or JB? I don’t think any of their comments were idiotic. What you need is to be in a relationship. I know, I know: a certain segment of those frequenting manosphere blogs are permanently hostile to the thought of relationships. I think of them as fatties visiting bodybuilding forums in order to feel like they are in the game.
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Being in a relationship doesn’t mean you are experiencing love from a woman, genius.
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Oh, I guess that’s why women in love never support losers, clean up after losers, never offer unwavering loyalty and emotional support for losers, etc. No, what you said isn’t contradicted by millions of real world examples. Of course not.
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Nice straw man. You suck at logic.
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Oh it’s a strawman…sorry did you not say =>
When men love, they demonstrate their loyalty via resource and emotional commitments.
When women love, they demonstrate their loyalty via vaginal commitments.”
Ya, I guess if I said something so retarded I’d pretend I was good at logic too when someone pointed out real world examples to the contrary. A woman in love does way more than just let a man fuck her.
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Totally agree. In my experience, women love more completely than men.
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More helplessly, yes. More completely, no.
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Those women who ran back to their husbands most likely realized you’re a beta at heart after your well of alpha-mimickry PUA tactics ran dry. I’d recommend inner game.
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Anyone who says inner game doesn’t know of genuine character. The word “inner game” is light-weight pop culture that doesn’t hold a candle to real quality, acquired over many years.
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Yeah, there’s some truth to this. The best for inner game is just to go out there and put yourself through some painful shit. It’s necessary. I mean, in order to operate like you need to operate, you have to have all cylinders going toward the goal. You can’t get caught up in a momentary rejection or worried that everyone at the bar will notice you’re alone or hitting on chicks.
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Inner game is genuine character. There are scientific proof that the “quality” of one’s character can be changed. Inner game is simply the PUA term for such a phenomenon.
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I hate the PUA term “PUA” too. Thank gods manosphere blogs have left those forums behind, with their guru-worshipping flocks and constant pitch to sell books, DVDs and seminars. Lots of quick solutions in 1-2-3 bullet points. “Ten Signs She Is Attracted To You!” “What Do Your Pheromones Tell Her About You?” “How To Make Women Chase YOU!” The only fairly good such forum is SoSuave, which started off never even using the “PUA” talk or sales pitches, although some who migrate over to SS use the word “PUA” all the same. SS has its own tongue-in-cheek term, DJ, Don Juan, and has the DJ Bible, a compilation of good posts over the years. The DJ Bible is recommended.
But I digress. “Inner game” is the PUA sphere’s way of making things sound cool and easy once again. Typical for our age. Buy my DVD and I will tell you how! And in other forums, here’s how to “hack your life” just like hacking a computer! And why not make it short enough to fit in Twitter! Insight and character are not easy things and no one should be misled into thinking they are – that defeats the whole point, of building a solid foundation where game is just a side issue you do with ease and mild amusement because you are about so much more than game.
[CH: “PUA” is just a modern twist on an older term: “player”, which itself is an update of “ladykiller”, and before that, “rake”. I wouldn’t get too hung up on the terminology. The message is what’s important.]
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“PUA” is pretty mainstream.
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CH, On the first point, that makes sense, and matches my experiences. Mine were fleeting, and the one I know of that wasn’t the wife eventually left the husband.
But on the second, I’m still a little skeptical. Or at least, I’d like a better explanation. After all, if she doesn’t love her husband, why would she fear losing him?
[CH: The threat of indigence is a powerful motivator.]
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Maybe, but a couple of the women seemed genuinely indignant when I implied they didn’t love their husbands. It’s not like I was going to tell their husbands. So I’m skeptical. But who knows, maybe it was merely their hamsters. Or maybe they knew I wasn’t going to marry them.
A lot depends on what we define as love. I think they felt genuine affection for their husbands, but not much in the way of lust.
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The difference is that men can compartmentalize love and lust over a long time period.
But didn’t you say in several of your posts that, for men, lust is love?
[CH: It is, with a caveat. Precisely, lust is necessary but not sufficient for a man to feel deep romantic love. There’s no contradiction. Spousal love tends to become less lustfully romantic with time, and more companionate. Obviously, the longer a man maintains both a wife and a mistress, the more likely the balance between his love and lust will skew one way or the other. All I’m saying is that men are better than women at extending the shelf life of love/lust compartmentalization.]
I remember that at some point you said that the best compliment a man can say to a woman is “I can’t stop thinking about f#ucking you” or something like that.
[That’s a good one.]
My idea is that, in spite of some essential biological and psychological differences, men and women are not that diferent in matters of the heart. I mean, you can’t love 2 people at the same time and basically, you lust for/ love what you cannot have.
[I’ve loved two women at one time. It went on for six months like that.]
One partner can offer you maybe social stability and a certain level of emotional attachment, but if you lust for another, your heart is already with the object of your lust.
[Or two women can be stone cold hotties, and I just can’t get enough of either.]
In the case of the married man, the wife is the beta (stability, a home, family), while the potential mistress is the alpha (the unattainable object of lust, the trophy).
[Few men will risk losing a hot and sexy young wife to a peccadillo, but some alphas have such insatiable sexual appetites that they can’t help but acquire lovers on the side. The real danger is when the wife gets older and the younger mistresses start to look like more than just fun flings.]
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Women don’t love betas
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Another really good post. I need to study this one carefully and ingrain it into my bones.
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Drunkenness is a “relationship killer” (since we’re using Seinfeld references).
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Maudlin drunkenness, sure.
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“You only lie to two people in life: your girlfriend and the police.” -Jack Nicholson
A married friend of mine was having an affair a few years back. His wife’s friend spotted him with another girl, holding hands outside a movie theater (out of town, too…what’re the odds?). The friend told the wife, who called my friend out on it. He denied it. “I told you…I was out of town on business.” The wife not only took my buddy’s word, she stopped hanging out with her friend.
A woman would rather cut a girlfriend out of her life than be presented with evidence that her relationship is less than the Disney magic she believes it to be. I’ve seen it happen many times. If you want an even swifter exit, present her with evidence her husband is cheating and then tell her she needs to DO SOMETHING.
If she loves you enough, she’ll believe the lie.
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If man’s mind is unfathomable, a woman’s mind is the bottomless pit, the ultimate abyss.
Drunkenness is only a relationship killer when there would be a relationship during sobriety. All the girls look prettier at closing. EtOH can raise SMV in proportion to BAC.
Note: men tend to have more efficient livers than women, so it requires a man taking the fifth to have the same effect of a woman consuming “a glass of champaign”.
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Neither men nor women are unfathomable and mysterious, that is just what Medieval poets said about women to be poetic. We all have behaviors shaped by evolution. It just takes effort to study it all, an effort not all are willing or capable to make. Those who have found the manosphere have taken a valuable step in the right direction.
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And in the the problem with sterotypes is that they are true.department…
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Tale of two alphas.
Would you double cross your home boy for fame and fortune after struggling together to cross thousands of miles of dangerous African jungle full of savage beasts, mysterious diseases and blood thirsty natives?
Either this is a hatchet job on Speke or some major league playa hatin is going on?
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Or is the way he went about it, failing so badly. If he had went out and macked and gotten with a hot piece then I BET that would set off the tingles. Look at my man, he can get hot women with ease but yet he stays with me….sets her above the rest.
Instead, he fails and does so in horrible fashion. Ugggh my man can’t even get laid, look at how unsmooth he is, this girl will talk with other girls about how lame my man is, ill be known as the girl who’s man is a chump and is lame ….if he can’t get laid, what does that make me? My worth?
That’s when the hypergamy kicks into overdrive.
So if you’re going to fail, do it discreetly. If you do fail discreetly, say at work even, don’t go sharing that with your girl in the how was your day discussion. Don’t make it easy on them. No ammo.
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Well… this pretty much sums up what I wanted to say. A pathetic failure will diminish the value of a man much more than a successful and detached adultery.
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And Monica’s Dress – is a banner under which successful adulterers rally.
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By the way, do you really believe that fag Obama really has an affair (with a woman, I mean)? Because it would be for the first time ever when I have a shred of respect for him. But I can’t believe he is man enough for this.
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http://nypost.com/2014/01/20/dad-track-star-killed-self-over-stress-from-upenn-workload/
this isn’t isolated. Many ridiculously gorgeous and talented girls pulling the trigger. Note the older sister,26, recently had a baby (that’s central here). So, poor girl, you must be 1) track star, 2) get great grades, and 3) find the perfect daddy for your spawnage by 26 (like big sis). This is “mission impossible” for single girls to pull off when 95% of those alpha penn boys have zero interest in such things. So, she needs to track down a perfect older man with six figs for hubby duty. And, given her beauty, the expectations must be hilariously high for absurd alphatude. This means that she’s looking at getting sportfucked by alphas rather than closing the deal. You can’t easily pull off the big settle when you look like that and older sis didn’t have to drop her standards.
In a different time she’d already be betrothed (as a virgin) and happily looking forward to marriage and parenthood. But, that was before feminists started helping women. Why would a girl like that even need to think about grades?
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This is the first I’d heard of cute girls killing themselves over generalized stress. She’s cute, not ridiculously gorgeous. The body is very nice and skinny.
Stress about competing with a 26 year old sister driving a 19 year old to kill herself? That would be insane.
She wouldn’t need top grades, but maybe she wasn’t making it at all. Maybe she was losing her track scholarship because of grades, or something.
I’d be interested to see other examples of girls who have power in the social game offing themselves. To be clear I don’t want them to off themselves, just want to see examples because you say it’s happening.
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Men are less emotionally invested and women much moreso. THis is why we don’t understand the natural borderline disorder from breakups and the empty “empowered” feminist lifestyle. It makes women crushed because the “slutty life” of de facto uncompensated prostitution is solely the lowest alternative for the least appealing women. When hot chicks are forced into this lifestyle, they go borderline for the simple reason that there Id is screaming at them “you are 19 and a hard 9, why are you suffering this shit when you should be married and having alpha spawnage by now?”
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And if so why isn’t some perspicacious alpha snapping them up while they have their looks and fertility? Some of this alpha shit is stupid.
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