Comment Of The Week: Your Rejection Only Makes Me Stronger

darkhorse steals the COTW,

well, the point is to get some rapport going with your girl, and really rapport of a sexual/romantic nature. she’s either going to accept or reject that “rapport option” you’re extending to her based on whether she is attracted to you and how you communicate/socialize.

deleting responses and ignoring a girl’s responses does not seem like behavior associated with rapport-building. it seems like behavior associated with fear and an unwillingness to feel rejected.

if you are deleting the girl’s response, it sounds like you are nervous about her response – whether it will happen, what it will be, if she will reject you.

here is a flash report: girls are going to reject you. the less you are ok with that reality, the more you are going to do weird shit like delete girls responses to your texts out of fear of rejection, which only introduces even more social awkwardness into your interactions with women. the more confidence you have in the quality of your game, the less you will care about reactions to the interactions you initiate.

Too many newbs mistake outcome independence for passivity. If you’ve engaged a girl, and she’s reciprocating, it’s game time. Move the seduction forward. Don’t make a habit of buttressing your inner game by deleting girls’ texts so you don’t have an emotional reaction to whatever you imagine they’ll say.

(A milder and more advantageous form of this kind of inner game trick is to turn off your phone for a day, so you call girls a day later. But this is for initial responses. If you have a girl on the chat line and she’s replying in a timely manner, keep it up. Don’t look a gift hoohah in the muff.)

Ultimately, the alpha attitude of outcome independence rests on a foundation of behavioral indifference to rejection. Rejection inoculation, you could say. If you worry excessively about being rejected by a girl, you’ll always struggle to unlock any alpha male potential within you. Of course, no man likes to be rejected by a girl he desires, not even naturals, but the idea is not the elimination of distaste for rejection. Rather, the aim is to accept rejection as the collateral damage of pickup, a necessary burden, and to stop beating yourself up over it.

Think of rejection like a sudden downpour, or a deus ex machina. It happens, you let it pass, you carry on. You don’t pretend to like it, but neither do you bellyache and take disproportionate, self-defeating measures to avoid it. It’s a fleeting nuisance that has no bearing on your attitude or your ambitions. Each rejection then becomes a victim of your cavalier dismissal, which, when compounded, strengthens your immunity to emotional disturbances caused by future rejections. And a funny thing happens when you start to think this way… you experience less rejection.

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Runner-up COTW winner is Lord Byron, patron saint of Le Chateau, from his Childe Harold’s Pilgrimage:

There is the moral of all human tales;
‘Tis but the same rehearsal of the past,
First Freedom, and then Glory — when that fails,
Wealth, vice, corruption — barbarism at last.

Leave it to an unapologetic master cad to tell it like it is.

We are loose nuts rattling in a doomsday machine. We can see the abort button, we can even reach it, but our hands stay by our sides. And all we can do is lament our paralysis.