An interesting study, with findings that won’t surprise regular CH readers,
This article presents an anthropological analysis of heterosexual seduction behaviors of men and women (from 18 to 65 years old, with varying civil status) who attended nightclubs located in the movida areas of Lisbon, Portugal. These behaviors were analyzed according to structure versus communitas theories. Nighttime seduction behaviors were observed and recorded in a field diary, and in-depth semistructured interviews with 60 men and 60 women were conducted. Interviews were analyzed using the thematic content analysis model. Results suggested that the communitas domain was evinced in the various seduction strategies. These courtship behaviors tended to follow a specific pattern: nonverbal seduction, visual seduction, verbal seduction, and acting-consisting of caresses, touches, and kisses [ed: KINO!]. When this escalation process evoked positive responses, it generally culminated in the complete synchrony of movements between the two bodies. The seduction process encompassed both masculine and feminine initiatives: Women engaged primarily in nonverbal and visual seduction, while men appeared to orchestrate verbal courtship and acting. However, sometimes men and women did not want to seduce or be seduced because they were married (especially women) or were with their partners (especially young men) and did not want to endanger the structure domain.
To put it in LAYman’s terms: Women seduce men with their bodies, men seduce women with their nimble tongues (aka game).
Women require plausible deniability in matters of the tingle. Ambiguity is, to women, the essence of seduction. Hints and innuendo, “does he or doesn’t he?” mental calisthenics, and dramatic reversals and forward movements all contribute to heightening a woman’s sexual arousal.
Men need none of this. A pretty woman could present her naked body for the taking, and the man will take it, no (sincere) questions asked. Men abide the nuanced female view of seduction because women hold the key to sex; men who don’t abide women’s unspoken romantic predilections tend to go home alone. To bed a woman, a man must find a way to oscillate on her tingle frequency, and then to amplify that frequency. This tingle amplification needn’t be permanent; short bursts of wavelength alignment are often enough to do the job, because most men hardly come close to hurdling that low bar.
The best male seducers are those who relish the inherently feminine nature of seduction. These are men who not only understand the rules of the game, they are overjoyed to apply them, and in so doing come to master them.
So women use coy facial expressions and sexy displays of their bodies to entrance men, while men use words and subtle touch to entrance women. In other words, each sex PLAYS BY THE RULES OF THE OTHER SEX. Women give men what men want (visually stimulating sexiness and lip-licking promise) and men give women what women want (a torrent of seductive, pregnant words anchored with erotic, escalating touches).
Somewhere, right now, a weirdo omega hater is shrieking about GAMEBOYZ DANCING TO WOMEN’S TUNE. It shrieks alone tonight.

The guy in the following vid gets a lot of shit from commentators over his height and most chicks give him the cold shoulder upon approach (in his other vids).
But he’s relentless and assumes the sale every time. I recommend all should watch.
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> “However, sometimes men and women did not want to seduce or be seduced because they were married (especially women) or were with their partners (especially young men) and did not want to endanger the structure domain.”
The “especially young men… not want[ing] to endanger the structure domain” part refers to the poor stupid fools who haven’t yet swallowed the Red Pill.
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If you ever went out with a girl you would understand that
when you are trying to create confort because you’re about to bang,
it does bode well to look and flirt with other women but it does not
bode well to actually “game” other girls, ex.: Conceede too many words to them.
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Cupid Shmupid is a fucking boss.
Any short dude esp should be paying attention to this guy’s body language (rock solid, never chases, never leans in, never tilts his head up like a child looking for approval he’s always got his had level etc), logistical handling (stands on tall things, makes the girls sit so he can look them in the eye, pulls their head down to make out etc), vocal tonality (lots of breaking rapport, commands and statements more than questions and when he asks questions they’re asked in breaking rapport), handling shit-tests and AMOGs smoothly (never gets flustered at height comments/disqualifying from girls or guys trying to tool him), etc.
This guy is like a master-class in how to demonstrate the value tall guys are naturally assumed to have, in a 5 foot tall body. He’s what I’m talking about when I say you can show dominance leadership tonality etc to make up for physical shortcomings. And he’s not even THAT refined yet. Like, he’s running about the equivalent game that a new guy to PUA runs in his 3rd-5th year…lots of attraction and better game than a lot of guys, but still not rock solid quite yet.
Dude will be an absolute beast one day. And anti-gamers and guys who didn’t put in the effort he’s put in will say “oh those are just paid actresses” and “well he’s popular on YouTube so it’s just cause he’s a minor celebrity that he gets girls” etc lol
For more fun here’s a guy picking up in a fat suit:
And Cupid Schmupid’s appearance on their channel:
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go in strong like a fucking bank robber.
good shit.
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the fat suit video made me feel like shit.
fuck women and their need for confidence. none of those naive bitches have any confidence yet they want that in a man.
i’ve hated the “c word” (confidence) all my fucking life, since i’ve never had any to begin with. my life is worthless because i lack confidence but these women have no confidence themselves and they have the world by the balls.
fuck my life.
game works, but for 1% of the population, who’ve never felt a fucking gesture of genuine affection from this world, it`s impossible to get them to start.
i’m telling you guys right now, if there was a gorgeous naked woman on my bed this second begging to fuck me i’d tell her to go fuck herself, kick her out of my house then start crying over how much of a worthless, unfuckable piece of shit i am.
betas don`t have it this bad. betas are fixable, they haven’t been by the world this bad.
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Jesus Christ, you’re an industrial strength sissy.
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Seriously man, take a Brazilian jiu jitsu class and channel some of that fuckin nonsense into something positive that will change your outlook.
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Patrice,
If you are really that depressed you need to do something about it.
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Agreed. Sitting there in a funk ranting about women being evil bitches is not helpful.
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Maximum Achievement by Brian Tracy
How I Found Freedom in an Unfree World by Harry Browne
Read these. And if you finish these and you’re bitching about how bad your life is, there’s really no point us trying to help you.
And if you don’t read these… please stop posting like anyone here cares more about your life than we do our own. Cuz at the end of the day… everyone has their own shit to worry about.
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@Patrice:
Come back a year from now after watching this and let us know how bad-ass you are.
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I am a Bisexual, sometimes I feel I prefer men, with women you need game and effort and lead them, with men you could take the place of the women, everything feels easier.
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Yeah, he’s boss.
Don’t know if you’ve seen this one, but check out the 3:02 mark. This dude doing the Mylie tongue thing had me crying tears of laughter.
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YaReally, I have a question about body language. I’ve noticed there are two types of dominant body language styles — I’d call it ‘strong, rock solid alpha” vs. ‘relaxed, cool as fuck, like water’. What are your thoughts on this and how it relates to pickup?
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I went out to a club last weekend and there was a short guy with a hot girl. I walked right between them and started hitting on his girl. “I’d love to get you pregnant, my name’s Darkhorse, what’s yours?” She was receptive and the guy had a fit lol. Totally lost his composure.
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Haha! As a shorter guy, years ago I would have either been butt hurt or tried to choke you out. But after the red pill, if she’s receptive to you that means either my game isn’t tight enough, or that girl isn’t worth my time after that instant and I’d immediately look for other girls in the club (not in a butt hurt way, but in an “alas, such is the randomness of life” kind of way).
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I did the same thing to a much larger guy (6’2″, 200lbs.) trying to pull a sexy bottle service girl who models. I could just sense he was starting off on the usual, my name is X I do Y tangent. Literally cut in right between him. Again, girl receptive. Number and date this week. That dude just walked away.
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F dude. If only I had a wing like you back in the day. Guys that know what you do kept that shit to themselves.
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Ya. Only real solution if she’s receptive.
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I end up seducing women when I’m not trying to. If I really like a girl, I completely lose what is my otherwise natural mojo. I wouldn’t call my mojo game, just that it comes off as cocky and smartass enough to pass for game. I can also hit on the girl if she is very attractive, but I happen to know and hate her personality. Basically, the less I like a girl, the better I am at bagging her. So I do all right, I just never get the ones I really want. If I like a girl a lot, I physically get nervous and clam up. I’m not shy at all either, but early life rejection has fucked with my “fight or flight” instincts in terms of chicks. Apparently my body wants to choose “flight” every time I think it’s a girl I might be able to actually love (whatever chemical cocktail that might be). It’s hardwired in from all those cruel bitches in my adolescence who played games with me like a cat does to a mouse.
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> “Apparently my body wants to choose “flight” every time I think it’s a girl I might be able to actually love (whatever chemical cocktail that might be).”
Those are the chicks with whom you should be making babies.
The next huge hurdle which you need to clear in Game Theory is learning to hold frame [your rigidly masculine versus her supplicantingly feminine] even with a bitch whom you deep down actually care about.
Maybe the biggest hurdle of all.
And at least half of holding frame is making damned certain that she remains supplicantingly feminine, and doesn’t start getting all Hillary Rodham or Michelle LaVaughn Robinson on your ass.
Which requires an eternally rigid masculinity on your part.
Don’t ever let your guard down, and do something insanely stupid like trying to get all cute & cuddly teddy bear and make a fool of yourself and lose her forever.
Cute & Cuddly is for Mama Bear.
Daddy Bear’s job is to take care o’ bidness.
To leave Mama Bear with that flush & rosy glow in her cheeks.
And a big satisfied smile on her face as she sleeps the sleep of babes.
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I have to admit I find it off-putting to read “a bitch whom you deep down actually care about”. I’m sure I’ll be beaten up for ‘white knighting’ here, but one doesn’t need to be a beta or omega to be puzzled at the tendency some here have to dehumanize women. They are people. Different than men, for sure, but still people. Is this seriously how you folks refer to (or think of) your mothers? Your sisters? Really?
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I’m saying precisely the OPPOSITE – that there are indeed worthwhile women out there – cute hawt smart nice-girls from good-families.
But just because you do finally encounter Miss Perfect – the chick whom you want to be the mother of your children – it doesn’t mean that you’re allowed to let down your guard and get all soft and wimpy and beta with her.
In fact, it means that you have to UP THE ANTE and be even more disciplined in your adherence to the virtues of masculinity when you’re in her presence.
BTW, a little off-topic, but if you talk to the dudes in Trauma Surgery [and in related specialties, like Orthopedic Surgery and Neurosurgery and Vascular Surgery and whatnot], and if they trust you enough to be completely honest with you, then they will readily admit that they use the opportunity of the Friday Night / Saturday Night gangsta drive-by shootings of the Orcs as PRACTICE for the surgeries which they really care about.
I.e. they operate on tens or hundreds of Orcs, whom they don’t give a shit about, as practice for saving the life of the occasional patient whom they very much do care about – such as the high-IQ beautiful little white girl who was a completely innocent victim in a terrible automobile collision with a drunk driver [himself probably a drunken Orc, in which case they’ll practice some on-the-fly triage, and whisk her off to the only available Operating Room, and let his sorry Orc ass just bleed out right there on the gurney in the Emergency Room].
And you can use that very same philosophy in the Game which you practice as a bachelor – you practice your techniques of Masculinity on cunts and femtards and orcas and bar whores and cynical old cougars as PRACTICE for when you finally do meet the Princess of Your Dreams.
So that, by the time she saunters into your life, you’ll be ready for her.
At which point you can get to work making babies with her, and doing your part [however humble] to save Western Civilization.
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When I read Tolkien to my children, I do my best imitation of jive-talk for the Orc voices.
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good explanation of what i think is a pretty common situation. i have some of the same issues. fortunately, when you don’t give a shit you get enough of a look at the other side that you can remember to fake it sometimes.
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Ya….which is why you should just treat pickup like a numbers game. Ultimately, that’s the kind of attitude that makes it something other than a numbers game.
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In my own case, it had to take a nuclear meltdown level of one-itis before I got the don’t-give-a-sh!t attitude even with 9s. Or even 10s, assuming I meet one.
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there is no such thing as a 10 yo. im a 10, and its laughable to assume a woman is my equal.
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Ya ok Cartoon-Alpha Man.
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The best advice I ever saw for this is to realize that the physical symptoms for fear and for excitement are the EXACT SAME. So whenever you start to get that “flight” response from your body, you just tell yourself that it’s not fear, it’s the adrenaline rush of being in the presence of a smoking hot woman, and then just power through on that. Takes a little practice, but it works. Just remember, your brain is simply another organ that you can exert control over, just like your arm or your leg. You are not at the mercy of your thoughts.
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good.
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Twas brillig, and the butthexed girls
Did tingzlzozozozozl in the gina;
All mimsy were the borogoves,
And the proles raths outgrabe.
Beware the desouled woman
with her eggs and gina drying up
having given the best years of her anus
to drunk alphas, my son!
Beware the Jubjub bird, and shun
The fumious pajama-boy!
He took his lotsas cockas in hand:
Long time cock carosuslel foe he sought
So rested he by the zlozzllz tree,
And stood awhile reading GREAT BOOKZ FOR MENZ ™.
And as in uffish thought he stood,
The Bernakified, with eyes of flame,
Came whiffling through the tulgey wood,
And brought the movies when she came…
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Mofo’s advice is great.
What helps me is to put yourself in the woman’s shoes and recognize her problems. Empathize. Do NOT sympathize, your goal is NOT to help her with her problems. Your goal is to use your tools to conquer this woman, and to do so it’s useful to know what she’s feeling and what her motivations are. Cold empathy. With what happened to you before, the coldness should come easily.
And you can more or less do this. We understand how women think, what their insecurities are, and if you have questions, they are only too eager to tell us! They will be honest about stuff like this, and the surprising idea of a guy delving into he psychology will generate moisture all by itself if you let her be emotional more than analytical. She is attracted to you until and unless you break the attraction. Why? Because you have a penis and all the other attributes of a male. It’s that simple, she can’t help it.
It seems you were so mistreated that you need to understand something else as well. These women are not going to gang up on you. They are not some sort of organization or team. In fact, they are quite distant from each other in a way that men are not with each other. Look at any situation involving camaraderie, and you’ll see that when the men have it, the women don’t. So the things other women did to you long ago cannot affect the woman in front of you if you don’t tell her. Even women’s “friends” are her enemies or competitors in many situations. Sometimes this comes in handy.
Don’t look for sympathy from a woman, that’s only for her children. In return, don’t sympathize with her either, other than on the surface. This is a game.
Lots of guys have more game than I do, but just what I wrote above was enough for me to meet and marry my wife and mother of my children.
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Yeah, I think most of us have been there at some point. Take comfort from the fact that your effortless seduction of other women shows that you have the raw potential of a natural (lot’s of guys don’t have that). You just need to learn to keep your composure when your blood is rushing to your penis and your heart is pounding. Practice I guess. Next time that smokin’ hot 9 batters her eye lashes at you and smiles, take a deep breath and centre yourself.
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It’s hardwired in from all those cruel bitches in my adolescence who played games with me like a cat does to a mouse.
I know what you mean, my teen years were pretty awful because I was painfully shy, and girls treated me like shit, they were cruel to me, but if you work at it, you can grow out of it (for lack of a better expression)
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So there is more than one guy out there who thinks that approaching women and talking to them is “dancing to women’s tune”? Are you telling me that this isn’t just one random troll—that this is an actual philosophy that has actually gained traction among a segment of the population?
Going to have to deploy a “Wow, just wow” here, because I just vapor-locked. An air bubble has been injected into my intellectual IV. My hamster is doing that scene from “Total Recall” when Arnie gets pushed out into the Martian atmosphere.
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So there is more than one guy out there who thinks that approaching women and talking to them is “dancing to women’s tune”?
It’s a common attitude among MGTOWs, most of whom seem to be omegas who’ve given up.
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Unless it’s married. Then it shrieks on the couch.;
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I’ve been working on my non-verbal communications lately – aka Body Language. Because, truth is, I’m heavily muscled – and have an intimidating bearing about me – which, I think, shuts down conversation before they start.
Couple things that I find really work are:
Initially maintaining a “closed-off” posture – then “rewarding” by opening up.
For instance: Starting a conversation over your shoulder – and if a woman asks questions or expresses interest – slowly turning your shoulders to face them…. Then leaning back a slight bit – which draws her forward – into a kinda private space.
I had a patch sewn on the sleeve of my jacket – so they would have something to comment on. Works like a charm – and the conversations have been great.
Also, eye contact.
I find that a direct look into a woman’s right eye – when making a point – really nails it home. Whereas, looking into the left eye – draws a type of skepticism.
I really think this has something to do with lateralization of brain function. You know – Left Brain / Right Brain differences … and I’m going to experiment with changing up which eye I look into based on the topic of conversation.
So basic, I know – but amazed how effective it’s been.
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I have a similar issue. Basically I adopt the laid back cowboy “leaning back on the fence” posture, usually when a fence, bar or turnstile is conveniently located nearby. You know, back and shoulders behind your waist/center of gravity, both arms relaxed and resting on the “fence/rail/bar” as well as the upper middle of your back, kind of like you see in the old cowboy movies when they’re just hanging out being kick ass masters of the high plains. Chicks really seem to dig this. When I’m standing at full height (6’3″) and in a dominant manner (hard muscular with good posture, feet planted firmly and apart and hiding nothing) I still get looks, but I also know that I come across as intimidating/dangerous to a lot of folks (been told this).
Not that dangerous is bad, mind you, but it does make women more hesitant to walk up to me than when I’m in relaxed “cowboy ranch hand taking a break” posture.
These issues disappear once I have a woman in tow, of course, as they then seem to want me to be the giant muscular good looking dude that they “caught and are showing off”. Hey, if it gets their panties wet, what do I care, right?
Interesting observation on the eyes, will need to start paying attention to that myself.
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For the umpteenth time, where are these evening/nighttime venues within which you can have a civilized conversation with a chick?
I haven’t been in a restaurant or a bar in ages which didn’t have the music blaring at 110dB.
And you can forget about the nightclubs/discos/dancehalls/whatever – that’s gonna require frigging lip-reading on both your part and her part.
Or frigging sign language.
Or standing next to one another and txting.
Actually, that might be a good idea – type the words on your cellphone in large font, and then hold it up and show it to her:
“I AM GOING TO HIT ON YOU PREPARATORY TO COITUS BUT IT IS DEAFENING IN HERE. WHAT IS YOUR NUMBER AND I WILL TXT YOU INSTEAD. THEN WE CAN HAVE COITUS.”
Hopefully she isn’t such a stupid fucking bimbo cunt that she can’t read.
Or doesn’t know what the word “coitus” means.
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I hear you. I’m also older – and in the context of nightclub / texting / 110db music – I look like a try-hard lurker who’s completely out of his element.
So to set myself up for success – I scoured the town to find places with the right atmosphere – then go there often enough to get a sense of the timing.
I favor craft-beer places – mid way through happy hour. I’ll go early in the week to chat up the servers and bartenders – then go back on Thursdays – dressed to kill – when there’s a crowd … And – by 9 o’clock – I’m outta there.
Outright avoid: Sports bars and franchise theame-joints.
The cell-phone coitus message would be good for a laugh.
But then, wouldn’t the right body language say the same thing?
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I think that shutting down of conversation is all in your head. It’s just a different energy you’re bringing and you gotta know how to use it. You gotta know where and how to take the conversation. The over the shoulder stuff is straight mystery method and has been proven to work. Keep using it. Throw in some back turns too, it helps with the push pull. Don’t forget to move slooow. And never break initial eye contact first.
The intimidating thing is excellent. Read some sixty years of challenge to learn how to use it. Chicks love to be dominated and if you can do it with your presence then it can be a shortcut to the bedroom.
Burninator is right about the chill posture. But don’t feel like you have to be the laid back lean on the bar cool guy all the time. Most of the time when guys do that it’s because they aren’t the big guy and can’t use that intimidating game.
@Burninator
If guys are calling you dangerous then they see you as serious competition and they tell you that to soften you up and make you less of a threat. Fuck that.
If a girl says that to you then you say, “let’s get outta here.”
Dangerous isn’t the same as being a dick. You can be cordial and friendly, and still be scary to them.
There’s nothing wrong with being intimidating, it’s Alpha.
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@Burninator
If guys are calling you dangerous then they see you as serious competition and they tell you that to soften you up and make you less of a threat. Fuck that.”
Yeah, I know, agreed. That said in my normal venue/kingdom I’m well established and have the rep already, so I tend to chill. Most men who give me the “whoa dude” thing are strangers. As you say, fuck them.
“If a girl says that to you then you say, “let’s get outta here.”
Dangerous isn’t the same as being a dick. You can be cordial and friendly, and still be scary to them.
There’s nothing wrong with being intimidating, it’s Alpha.”
Absolutely agree. It depends on where I am most of the time (see above). If I’m the “new guy” in a place, no relaxed cowboy. If I’m at “home” in my kingdom, it depends on my mood.
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Dangerous is GOOD.
Dangerous is EXACTLY WHERE YOU WANT TO BE.
Manboob loser schlub Beta dude is boring and predictable and SAFE.
Tall-dark-and-handsome mysterious stranger dangerous dude is “OMFG GINA-TINGLEZZZ LET’S FUCK LIKE RABBITS!!!”
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Right, I know. Suppose I’m not communicating my thoughts accurately. I was just noting that if you’re wanting to strike a relaxed pose due to being a huge scary looking guy, the best one to take (in my experience) is the “relaxed cowboy leaning back on the fence after a long day of shooting savages and rattlesnakes”.
I have no issue with being intimidating or dangerous. As noted elsewhere, I’m tall, well built and I open carry in day to day life (without a uniform, I’m a, gasp, “civilian”) so things like “intimidating” are things I’m comfortable with. Just sometimes though, you want to hang out and relax while retaining bad ass cred, and in those cases I lean back as described, given my build. Nobody mistakes me for a little wuss guy in those instances, but I’m nowhere near the level of “OK, I’m going to kick your ass if you say one wrong word” of my normal posture/stance. And The Lean is better than slumping over a bar face forward with your shoulders down or standing there uncomfortably trying not to look like a dork, ya’ know?
In an unfamiliar location or if you feel the need otherwise, yeah, stand and stay with the dangerous/intimidating posture. Nothing wrong with that.
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I dunno, man … intimidating brings out all sorts of insecurities in people.
Other night, I meet this 25 year old – it’s her birthday and she breaks off from her friends to chat me up. Now, this chick is anyones idea of a knockout – and tells stories like a stand up comedian. She’s in a great mood and up for some fun – so, game on.
I’m deploying the posture, eye contact, etc – and doing just enough talking to keep it playful, warm and light. She’s responding with classic hair flipping, up from under looks and such – possibly teasing – so I test with a real gentle neg and she blushes all the way down her cleavage. Can’t fake that, nice IOI.
The conversation shifts – she’s revealing and vulnerable now – and I’m low toned and in-control. All systems go for kino. So off comes the jacket – and I stand close – to put my hand on her waist. Which she leans into – and then..
Bang! The look I see all the time …. Definitely not bedroom eyes. Not a pull my hair, kiss my neck and palm my pussy look. Something more akin to suddenly coming face to face with a bear. Slowly … Reaching .. for the pepper spray!
Then – In the most defeated way – she says – ‘sorry to bother you with my petty problems’, and walks back to her friends looking like I’d just robbed her lunch money. … Fug me. Again?
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You’re playing the step by step game. I bet sometimes you do a last minute hail mary for sex, texting her late night to “come over”. You have to make a strong sexual impression at first, declare your intentions for getting with her…first words out of your mouth, “So we’re going home together right?”…don’t worry about her reaction…”Hi I’m Charlie…” then get to know her. She understands your frame is sexual and what your intentions are right off the bat. It’s easier for her. If she walks away, so what.
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It’s easier for her … Huh – Well, that’s a good point. .. I will think on this.
How to be overtly sexual and still approach in such a way that she won’t outright throw cold water or just plain freak out.
Like that scene from Animal House: “Mind if I dance witch yo’ date?”
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@ Charley
In a social setting where sexual innuendo is socially acceptable, like a bar or a club, any attractive women is going to by default act flirtatious toward a high beta just because the attention gives them power and she is testing her value against other women. This includes married women. They get validation points for having an attractive or high-ranking guy come on to them, and it’s a thrill too. Doesn’t mean they’re dropping panties right away. Sounds like you may have run into this. If you are immediately sexual in a non-threatening way you avoid making a time investment down a road to nowhere. Also separates you immediately from the weak guys who have to use ploys to get a girl’s attention or the “I’m Bob, what do you do guys”.
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@Charley
How to be overtly sexual and still approach in such a way that she won’t outright throw cold water or just plain freak out.
Being playful and silly helps a lot. It disarms things and makes the sexuality non-threatening. Especially if it’s a ridiculous statement that makes her laugh. But the frame needs to be, this is about sex (intention), here’s why it’s ok (getting to know you).
Most guys approach and say this is who I am (getting to know you), please have sex with me as a reward (intention).
See how the second sequence has desperation embedded in the interaction?
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The other thing is this seems like beta kino to me. It’s not intentional at all. It comes off as sleazy to her. If she’s reaching out and touch me, yeah, I might return the favor, but if you want kino you better start off charismatic and declare why the fuck you’re touching her lol. To the girl with the belly shirt you just opened STTONG and told who you are and is vibing with you: “You have the fucking sexiest abs I’ve seen in the club.” *abs squeeze*…and since you work out, return the favor and take her hands and put them on your abs and tell her you work out. Don’t do wussy kino.NO wonder the girls are running away lol. You didn’t establish a charismatic, sexual vibe and then you tried to sideways touch your way into attraction. Doesn’t work like that.
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*opened STRONG
lol I’m all about typos.
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A big problem in today’s cultural climate is people wanting to skirt the rules because they don’t have the capital to win at the game. Inherently every person knows what attracts the other sex but the problem arises when they fall for the siren’s song in promises for a new social utopia where biology doesn’t exist and we can rewrite human nature to follow a lazier and more happy path.
Now many women have fallen into the trap that my pussy is enough. I don’t have to work on my figure, it’s good enough because men are horny. I don’t have to work on grace, access to vag all that matters. They use youth to mask a very shaky foundation. Then they go full potato and their ideology goes to their heads and manifests in unaesthetic skrillex hair and piercing because they have become full on believers. It’s simply a long version of not wanting to play the game since it’s hard and they might lose. It’s defeatism in the age of carb fueled obesity and cultural expectations of androgyny.
Men follow their own version of the piper in ignoring the signs and think just being around and providing is the ticket to smashing. Seduction is work. Your ego gets crushed, you have to put up with endless amounts of BS from guys and girls until you get experienced. It’s much easier to escape to being your own personal Michael Cera then lace up your gloves and fight it out.
TD:LR: People know the core rules of the game, they simply deny it in hope that’s it not true.
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To be honest, I think it’s about discovering what kind of shit you will and will not tolerate. You can build your life however you see fit. If people in your group treat you like shit, ditch them. Only keep people in your life who add value to your experience on this planet.
That’s probably the biggest problem people have, I think. We all struggle — -or at least I do — with scarcity and abundance. But, whenever I internalize an abundance mindset, that area of my life improves. Now, the problem of course is that you move on to better things and that scarcity returns….but it’s just a continuous cycle.
So many guys tolerate so much bullshit in their lives and in their relationships because they don’t know any better. They watch bullshit TV shows where the man gets henpecked by the bitchy, not-that-hot wife and think “Oh that’s just life.” They hear a lot of ‘you go grrl’ and ‘man up!’ nonsense and think “oh, that’s just how it is.” People don’t make it worse with their “relationships are tough,” “relationships are about compromise,” etc. bullshit.
Your life is as tough or difficult as you make it…in every sector.
Treat as though they can be replaced and you’ll become irreplaceable to them. The core of game, I think.
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@Scray
Man I love when you write shit like this. I give you shit when you go on negative tangents with your game skills, but it makes me happy/proud to see you figure a lot of inner shit like this out. A lot of men and women will go their entire lives without ever understanding the stuff you wrote here, and that’s a tragedy to me. Good stuff dude.
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I only say it because, shit man, it’s the only thing that works. Every time I’ve started behaving like a faggot, what gets me back to acting tight is just….getting out there and talking to more high quality girls.
That’s why I think marriage is insanity. Fucking insanity.
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Marriage isn’t insanity at all. You can do whatever you want in a marriage, you just have to establish a frame that you’re going out and that’s that.
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Seems way harder to establish that frame with the whole….no-fault alimony/divorce/etc. legal scheme.
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Scary,
Then don’t get married in the US or other regressive western countries.
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(Scray, not Scary, sorry!)
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Yup. Fulfillment comes from within.
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“Treat as though they can be replaced and you’ll become irreplaceable to them. The core of game, I think.”
I think the core of game and/or life is ‘don’t give a fuck’. I see a lot of false ‘I don’t give a fuck’ but the genuine real McCoy, that’s rare. To be truly in that ‘I don’t care about society/people’s opinions’ is the key to the whole thing. If you hear about the true big shots that achieve, they seem to share that. The successful really truly ‘don’t give a fuck’. They deserve it simply ‘because’ and will work for it simply ‘because’. It’s true power. See through the little bullshit that our primitive monkey brain wants to think is important due to maladaption and power it through it.
You see teens go through I don’t care phase and the adults laugh and correctly say it’s a phase. However why do they do it? They do it because they know it’s power and it’s way to take power when they are at the mercy of others. Then my question is why do we as adults write this off? To not care about what people that essentially want to be your pimp is what you should be doing, not being brainwashed into following.
However one legit explanation I can see is the marriage and kids thing. That’s when it really clamps down and the bonds are set and guys get ultra timid. They have to provide and can’t take risks but must eke it out so their family eats. Kind of raw deal when you realize that your wife will hate you for it.
But with that in mind, why submit when you don’t have to? When it’s just you, take it for it’s worth. Most people are lame, girls and guys. When you understand this, their opinions are essential worthless because they are just plain fucking dumb. It’s elitist but if you have the right worldview and the right attitude you should be and you should have faith in how you see the world and act accordingly.
Another thing is that my main issue with the red pill, is how these guys will take it and then start screaming about how women are stupid sloots like the world actually cares about what they have to say. Simply knowing does nothing. Indignation is feminine bitch trait. It’s not them saying the information per se but it’s the tone of ‘I’m mad placate me’. Don’t be mad and expect anyone to care because no one really does unless you have a vag.
TL:DR: Be chill as fuck and make it happen. Our society is one big joke and should be treated as such.
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I have a problem with “don’t give a fuck.” That’s closer to what I’m talking about than ‘be a needy faggot,’ but it’s still off the mark. Not giving a fuck is just cheating. If you truly don’t care, then lol…way to hamstring your own enjoyment of what life has to offer.
The solution is to learn how to express yourself like a fucking man. You will care about things sometimes, and sometimes, whatever you care about will disappoint you or turn out bad. Instead of needing that particular situation to “go right,” you realize that it’s just one of many in your life and you can extricate yourself smoothly.
—
Also, adults laugh at teenagers because adults know that teenagers care A LOT about what everyone else thinks, despite what teens say. What annoys the shit out of the parent/adult is that the teen — who is still inexperienced — fails to see how bad they are at the charade. So it’s like dealing with a guy wearing a red shirt who insists that he’s wearing a green shirt — like you’re some sort of fucking idiot.
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You don’t know what you’re talking about – you don’t even know me! These tattoos aren’t for other people – they’re for me.
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@scray Despite success, the “fear” of scarcity is what handicaps me. it requires a conscious effort on my part to say “WAIT” before suddenly succumbing to some girl’s pressure to meet at a certain time or respond a certain way.
keyboard jockeys can say “bitches should respect the cocka” but in reality the social pressures you describe surround us.
If you’re not behaving like the needy pedestalizing sap in 500 Days of Summer girls AND many guys will jump down your throat for not being a “gentleman”.
I just pushed back on the latest girl i’m gaming who insisted on going out on Valentine’s Day.
I had previous plans so made plans for another day which she was all whiny about.
Finally I said: “valentine’s day is gay. we’re going to do something different”.
But in this city—Valentine’s Day should be renamed “Beta Provider Chump Day” with every local girl getting huge bouquets of flowers—often anonymously—from their doting pedestalizing boyfriend—who usually ends up carrying the things.
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Do guys actually give you pressure about not being a beta-style “gentleman”?
That’s a really tough social circle you’ve got there to deal with, wala.
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Yes, they do. This is a fact. They are quick to judge me to please their women or the woman they’re orbiting.
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You need a stronger frame. Much stronger. If you have friends that try that shit on you they should eventually give up or just laugh at how preposterous your behavior is to their ideals. Or they won’t open their mouths because you’ll put them in their place and make them look like idiots. Remember that a real friend wouldn’t throw you under the bus to impress a girl so don’t feel guilty if you make him your bitch in front of her. Respect yourself before you can expect respect.
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10 minutes in:
Some retarded white knight beta dipshit trying to shame Tyler into being a gentleman. This shit happens even from random dudes. They’re easy to deal with, but like, these guys are happy to jump right in and try to shame guys who are acting like “assholes”.
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“it requires a conscious effort on my part to say “WAIT” before suddenly succumbing to some girl’s pressure to meet at a certain time or respond a certain way.”
If it helps, I had to do that too. I’ve internalized it now but that was by consciously stopping and checking myself until “fake it till you make it” kicked in.
I’ve done stuff like using “drunk dial” apps that block you from txting a number for X amount of hours, during the day just to avoid responding too fast (txt then lock their # for an hour or a day etc)
I’ve set girl’s numbers to not make a tone and not vibrate when they txt so I legitimately accidentally miss their txts and avoid txting back immediately/predictably every time.
I’ve gotten #s while out and left on a high note and ended a solid txt convo then given my friend the battery to my phone to keep from me till morning to avoid txting all night drunk and fucking things up.
I’ve read a girl’s txts right before taking a shower so that I can’t reply until after I’m out of the shower, and I have a solid 10 min in the shower to think of a solid response.
I STILL reword my txt messages a dozen times before sending them. If I don’t feel a txt is perfect, I’ll just sit on it for a bit and brainstorm other responses while I work until I hit something solid and even then I’ll play with the wording a bit as I’m typing it.
I’ve changed girls names in my phone to stuff like “Z DO NOT TXT NOOOOOOOO” so their name is at the bottom of my list so I don’t see it as easily and so when they txt that name pops up and reminds me she’s on a Soft Next or whatever.
In person it’s all trickier like dealing with betas and social shaming…but that stuff makes your frame stronger when you stand against it and don’t falter or apologize for your beliefs/desires as a man. And if you stand long enough, people accept the new you and lay off. And the ones who don’t, you cut out of your life because fuck them for not supporting you in something important to you and your happiness lol
Now I don’t have to really do that stuff, but every guy transitioning from scarcity to abundance has trouble like you…you just have to find ways to outsmart yourself and keep holding your frame unapologetically 😉
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YaReally – wow – that is a shitload of calories which you’re putting into all of this.
I can see doing that maybe in your early to mid 20s, but by your late 20s to early 30s, you really need to take all of these mad skillz which you’ve learned, and focus them on the girl of your dreams, and grab her for yourself, and settle down once and for all and make a bunch of babies with her.
Otherwise it’s just so much purposeless sybaritic* nihilism, and the bitches go longer and longer without experiencing live births, and they draw that much nearer to barrenness and menopause and spinsterhood, and Western Civilization moves closer and closer to the precipice of extinction.
Start putting some buns in them ovens, man.
And get your ass some live births to show for all the calories which you’re expending.
PS: If you’re an entrepreneur or a sales agent or a marketing campaign designer or a politician, then you can use EXACTLY these same mad skillz to earn a living supporting the girl of your dreams and the massive brood of children which you have by her.
Game your sales leads using almost exactly the same techniques which you had used to game your poontang back when you were a bachelor.
*PPS: Rush Limbaugh used that word – “sybaritic” – in his show yesterday:
http://www.rushlimbaugh.com/daily/2014/02/10/democrats_work_is_punishment
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@Zombie
“Start putting some buns in them ovens, man.”
Sure thing, man. You’re cool with me putting you down as the father on the birth certificate to pay for the cost of raising all these buns, right?
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No, mother-fucker, I want you to have about six or eight kids with your woman – three or four sons, and also three or four daughters – and then spend the next several decades:
1) Teaching your sons what it means to be a Man, and also
2) Teaching your daughters what it means to be a nice girl from a good family, and especially what it means to NOT spread her legs and put out for every bullshit con-artist song-and-dance-routine which she receives from a complete fuckup like me or you.
Work with your daughters, through Middle School and High School and College, and point out all the sad sorry worthless techniques which the PUAs are going to use, to try to get them to eBernankify themselves and ride the carousel of butthexualization throughout their prime years of fertility.
Make sure that you teach them right, so that you and your woman can get plenty of grandkids out of them.
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I eagerly read the decorative preamble of your posts ZS, transfixed with anticipation, like a Master Baker, as I follow the sweeping historical and philosophical references, as they artfully and inexorably spiral towards their journey’s end: the most delectable of sound bites.
Without suggesting in any way that a successful recipe should be altered, you may also like Iceberg Slim’s “sock a squealer into her”.
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I also have that urge to reply quickly to a girl. The way I do when friends contact me about something. I want to be efficient, so why not get the texting over with? But of course being too efficient in communication with women makes them think you are coming on too strong and must therefore be low value. It’s what we have to adapt to.
It is counter-intuitive, because we are used to thinking that more input means more output. More study time means more things learned. More work means more money. More wood chopping means more chopped wood. Alas, with women it doesn’t work that way. Only when it comes to the amount of approaches, of course, but not with each woman separately.
“Spin more plates” – it is really good advice. It helps you keep your head cold and not contact a girl too much, not sound too eager. The distance and perspective you get from working on different women at the same time is very valuable.
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Why would you want to keep a head cold? The sinus congestion alone makes me miserable…
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These posts depress me because in many ways the advice is similar to what we pull with high status guys. So in the end you have two people trying to out-aloof each other.
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I don’t really follow this rule (except the spin more plates). The ‘who cares less’ thing is gay. Right out of the faggot playbook.
[CH: The world’s greatest heterosexual seducers all plied their conquests, on occasion, with variants of “aloof indifference” game.]
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@Amy, yes, so stop it. As an experiment I have refused to follow the rules, and like YaReally told me, I can never think the rules don’t apply to me. I have finally come to grips with this sad fact. Women insist we follow the rules even if they claim otherwise. Even if I come from a position of total confidence (like the girl is not even all that and “I’ve had better”, literally), I *will* be punished for any niceness early in the relationship or even “over texting” and flipping one text a day or within 3 days of the first meeting is “over texting.”
I have had LTRs where we did not follow the rules and it was “love at first site” and we were just together from day one for one to 3 years, and I keep trying to replicate that, but it must be like one in a million chance of that and I’ve used mine up apparently.
The thing is, I have one thing down, a game thing, that I don’t even have to fake. I am TRULY busy with my life and in a way I’m MGTOW. (BTW I only post here when at work…too busy away from work.) I play guitar, work out, read, spend time with my kids. Despite this, I will actually–unlike women–MAKE TIME (IMAGINE THAT, LADIES!!!!!) for a girl I’m interested in, and low and behold every time I do I get punished for it as “too needy” even though I really wasn’t. Just the other day I was texting while driving (bad I know but it was tons of traffic and car wasn’t moving)…..with a girl who seems nice and interested. I bet she thought I was responding too quickly. Actually it was because I had time, being stuck in traffic, whereas when I got where I was going, I would no longer have time.
Other examples are in the past year I have gone out with 6 or 7 girls when I didn’t even really want to, because I would have rather played my guitar, literally. I made time for these girls, missed a night of playing my guitar, admittedly after I did the inviting.
It is depressing because as you say it’s out aloofing each other. But I have learned one cannot simply tell girls you understand the game and ask them to quit it. Doesn’t work.
And I’m literally talking about women who are not as hot or young as many girls I’ve actually been with who are in love with me. I just want to skip past all the BS but they will not play along.
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If you are trying to bang hot young women, I don’t fully buy into aloofness, at the initial stage at first. And in fact if a girl is being aloof I’ll put pressure on her immediately. “all these short answers make me think you must be married or have something to hide.”
Gotta understand a hot young girl’s terrain. They are getting tugged at from all sides by all this shit trying to suck them in: offers to party, ex-boyfriends, their girlfriend’s dumb banter, co-workers trying to get a hold of them, beta orbiter stroking their ego. Plus these girls have active social lives, so a lot people think girls are not responding to their texts – no it’s because they went out and partied last night and got 30 texts and yours is at the bottom of the list and while you may have made a good impression, she’s to lazy to hunt for your text. You gotta ping her again with solid content. In my opinion, this is where a lot of guys fall off with the really hot young girls. They get flustered and think the girl doesn’t like them.
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[The world’s greatest heterosexual seducers all plied their conquests, on occasion, with variants of “aloof indifference” game]
Such as….?
[CH: Such as all of them. Stop contrarian trolling or you’re outta here.]
Seems more apt to say they plied it with outcome independence game. If they cared, they showed it. Ultimately, trying hard not to give a shit is the same as trying hard to give a shit — it’s just a form of supplication. I think she’ll really like it if I just don’t care and do nothing.
[Cut the strawman crap. “Doing nothing” and refraining from showing too much investment in an outcome are not the same thing.]
Living your life without taking any cue from her is what does it. Some days you care and show it, other days you don’t.
[Again, “living your life” and actively pursing women for sexual and romantic gratification aren’t mutually exclusive.]
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“These posts depress me because in many ways the advice is similar to what we pull with high status guys. So in the end you have two people trying to out-aloof each other.”
And this is why I don’t play text game Amy. It’s silly to how I live and act in the world. When you’re with me, you know I don’t text, you know I don’t have a constantly buzzing leash to answer, and that you and I are off to do something exciting, enticing or erotic, or any combination thereof. If we meet again it will be decided before we part and agreed upon, and if we need to cancel we pick up the damned phone and say it.
Texting, besides being a highly female thing, is tedious, boring and full of drama/game/timing crap that frankly I don’t have time to engage in. If you can’t reach me it’s because I’m out enjoying the living fuck out of life. Call back later.
Keep that in mind for the future.
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[CH: Such as all of them. Stop contrarian trolling or you’re outta here.]
It’s not contrarian trolling. Outcome independence = not caring about the outcome. I was addressing the general notion of not caring. At all. Or trying to appear that way. There’s a difference….
[Cut the strawman crap. “Doing nothing” and refraining from showing too much investment in an outcome are not the same thing.]
Yes. That’s what I’m saying….
A lot of guys get roped in to ‘not responding,’ ‘not doing X,’ ‘not doing Y,’ because they are afraid to put themselves out there not because they’re outcome independent.
I’m not even sure what the disagreement is, tbh.
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Personally I don’t think responding quickly signals “needy”, it’s the frequency of texts, within the conversation and generally.
I just wonder what happens when you are playing hard to get with girls who are also playing hard to get. Girls are better at it (we are more used to doing it). So both sides overplay and it never goes anywhere.
IRL example: Guy in my class gets my number from my friend, wants to meet for a drink, has to cancel, wants me to pick a date next week. Fine. I do and then he texts me morning of, says he has to let me know later in afternoon what time because he has to work. I text “ok”, nothing else. He doesn’t text until 8.
He probably thought this was aloof game and he was being “high value” by canceling once and then making we wait around. But I play aloof too (plus I was annoyed), so I blew him off and went out with my friends. And ignored his texts.
I guess it’s the reason behind the “abundance mentality”… some girls respond to aloof game better than others.
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lol, not trying to brown nose CH, but I swear to God that when I read this (before CH inserted replies):
“Scray
[The world’s greatest heterosexual seducers all plied their conquests, on occasion, with variants of “aloof indifference” game]
Such as….?
[CH: Such as all of them. Stop contrarian trolling or you’re outta here.]
Seems more apt to say they plied it with outcome independence game. If they cared, they showed it. Ultimately, trying hard not to give a shit is the same as trying hard to give a shit — it’s just a form of supplication. I think she’ll really like it if I just don’t care and do nothing.
[Cut the strawman crap. “Doing nothing” and refraining from showing too much investment in an outcome are not the same thing.]
Living your life without taking any cue from her is what does it. Some days you care and show it, other days you don’t.
[Again, “living your life” and actively pursing women for sexual and romantic gratification aren’t mutually exclusive.]”
I actually thought to myself, “I can’t believe CH puts up with this crap.”
Scray is extra retarded lately.
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@darkhorse
Yep. Agreed. A lot of the “I don’t play games” and “I’m Mr Aloof” guys are still getting laid, but it’s not by the smokin hot 18-22yo’s who literally wake up to a dozen “good morning babe! :)” txts and get offered free trips to Paris and shit every weekend.
It’s not that those girls wouldn’t like the guy, it’s just that unless he’s established MASSIVE value to her (ie – her celebrity crush could act aloof and she’d chase), she’s just legitimately got too many other offers on the table to give a shit.
With a 25+ or esp 30+ chick ya, go ahead and be aloof, she doesn’t have as many options as she did when she was younger and hotter, so she’ll chase easier.
It all comes down to value and standing out in her reality. Sure a guy can say “whatever man if she doesn’t get with the program then I’m Next’ing that bitch and moving to the next cause I don’t play games” but you can’t Next a girl you haven fucked, that’s her Next’ing YOU, and it means your game wasn’t tight enough to get her…which is okay if you’re just in the game for easy/constant pussy. Some guys just want to get laid, some like a challenge, it’s all good long as you’re happy with the type of girls you’re getting
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@grim
We’ve already established your internals are fucked up. Last week you were blaming 20-year olds, now you’re blaming women for perceiving that you’re texting too much and that you’re too nice. And I’m not pointing this out to shit on you. I’m pointing this out to support you. The only way out of this is to change whatever is fucked up about yourself.
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@Grim
lol.
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@Amy
Some points…
1) A man playing hard to get with an legit hot woman he hasn’t fucked is such a “whatever” to her. She knows there’s a high status guy who isn’t playing around. A man can play aloof after he fucks her well enough that she actually envisions herself “on his team”.
2) A guy can go aloof off the bat for a lower quality woman without options. Like she’s gotta be legit lower quality than he is.
3) A woman isn’t actually playing hard to get with high status guys, they’re playing hard to get with guys they view as high-betas. Like if a celeb approaches, the hard-to-get rulebook goes out the window. Hard to get is played with guys who are considered last resort “options”.
4) If you’re getting a sense that someone is playing hard to get, call out, then cut off immediately. “Seems I’m just getting a game of hard to get, was actually looking for intimacy. Made the wrong call.” Respect yourself and don’t let them back in. “Not interested. Clear intentions are important to me.”
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aaahhh valentines day. What a shit test.
On the plus side, I sometimes enjoy sending valentines days to people from other people, and then I sit back and watch hilarious shit unfold.
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It really is a shit test. I’ve always said I hate V-day (I do) and don’t want/expect anything. And even that is usually viewed as a shit test.
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How is it a shit test wtf
Is Christmas a shit test too?
You can do nice things for who you’re with. Just do what you want to do for them, if anything at all.
No need to be a social sperg and ignore the holidays.
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Dude, it is the *dictionary definition* of a shit test — testing men to see if they are beta. Look at the Victoria’s Secret super bowl commercials: Adriana Lima in lingerie purrs, “Guys, Valentine’s Day is simple. Give. And receive. (wink).” It is Cathedral promotion of the message that men pay for sex or get sex in exchange for buying candy or flowers, when we all know that (most) women enjoy sex just as much as us and we can get it the other 364 days of the year too.
I got into a nice discussion about this with my ex GF who loved sex, but I won’t type it all here. In her womanly way, she failed to understand that we were saying the same thing and were on the same side.
And yes “Christmas” too, since you ask. Our entire beta-cathedral society is based on a house-of-cards economy where 80% of consumer spending is to appease sheep women’s desire for shiny useless crap. Every time you turn around, the Cathedral is telling you to get out your credit card and buy something.
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Christmas has religious significance. The significance of Valentine’s Day is manufactured by the greeting card and florist industries.
I’m totally on board with doing nice things for the person you’re with. But when they’re done on a day of forced obligation, I don’t think it’s that meaningful. I’d rather just get a kiss and “Happy Valentine’s Day” and otherwise leave it alone.
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@Scray
How is it a shit test? The expectation from entitled princesses they’re going to get a bouquet on their desk when they come to work in the morning—and when they don’t they pout.
Last year my crazy ex gf blew off Valentine’s Day saying she was in rehearsals for a performance and couldn’t make it.
I was the one who blasted her saying “What kind of girlfriend doesn’t get her guy a gift?”
Her: “How do you know I didn’t?
Me: Because you didn’t
A few days later she buys me a bottle of my favorite spirit and apologizes.
I’m now looking back on these passive-aggressive head cases I’ve gone out with.
When I called them out on their bullshit which would seem anti-game—I got much more immediate results than when I disappeared for a few days.
I think different tactics work on different types of girls.
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I think it’s better to say that Valentine’s day is a ‘shit-test generator’
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See Lena Doughgirl, star of “Girls” for an example.
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NAWALT! Oh wait no. That was bullshit.
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Beta, beta, beta. You’re so beta, CH. You call the article “interesting” and then you say it “won’t surprise.” Only a beta is interested in something he already knows.
I think you’re afraid of anti-natalism. So you engage in selective mental targeting so that your own comforted state is kept safe.
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u mad bro?
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This is why kids should not be allowed to watch porn.
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I have no idea what you’re talking about “afraid of anti-natalism”. Not speaking for CH of course, I am somewhat afraid of underproduction of white babies and I am doing my small part at least to replace my generation in the pool. I encourage others to do so too. I don’t let fear get to me — what happens will happen, and all I can do is my best.
Would you say that I am “afraid of anti-natalism”? Or, what are you talking about, “Hello”?
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“I am doing my small part at least to replace my generation in the pool.”
Procreation is a gamble with someone else’s welfare. How would you like it if I did that for you?
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My parents did it on behalf of me, my grandparents on behalf of my parents, and so on and so forth. Good thing they did. It is an authority over the future, that we have as fertile beings. That’s why to be infertile is such a tragedy.
OTOH, I see why “The Village” would rather that I don’t exercise it. Serfs like me are “easy” to replace (what with 3 billion+ subcontinentals/chinks + many others), and me exercising my authority over the future significantly hampers my ability to serf the Village. And there are fields to be plowed, crops to be picked, irrigation ditches to be drain, while shorties popped out by fornicating serfs cost “The Village” mucho dineros.
So,
I see your point, and that’s why I warmly invite you to take a long walk off a short pier, whether you’re a paid stooge of “The Village”‘s elders or a useful village idiot.
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R U my father?
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Luke, I AM your father!
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There are people literally queuing up to be born
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Aww, anti-“racist” anti-White is upset at Whites not acting the way the media owners demand, but is afraid to say so, so he tries his hardest finding something in the game theory to attack instead. And fails miserably. “Only a beta is interested in something he already knows. ” LOL
Heads-up: No, using “beta” five times in one paragraph doesn’t make the accusation scary. Try harder.
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Somewhere a tardcon woman is fretting about how all those horrid playas are going to corrupt her pure, wrapped in cotton wool, daughter despite all of the protestations the daughter can squeal, or murmur.
Yes, plausible deniability is a key element of the female seduction process. Whining omega pedestalizers refuse to admit this, along with shambling feminist manatees who keen “No means no! And yes means yes, but nobody ever asks me“.
Elsewhere, Hanna Rosin can’t figure out the inscrutable mysteries of the pretty young women in the Sochi winter Olympics — they’re dressed like girls what in the world is wrong with them?
http://www.slate.com/articles/sports/fivering_circus/2014/02/sochi_olympics_more_female_athletes_in_lingerie_than_ever_before.html
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Regular reader, recently took theRP (28 yo male from Canada), first time commenting. Cool study. I came upon an article called “Love and Power” it was long, but basically, it said how there is only ‘one path’ to intimacy – shared power in relationships (which I personally do not agree with). I would love some links or forwards to articles that talk about power in relationships and what the ‘real’ dynamic should be. Cheers.
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It won’t be possible to find much of it in the mainstream press because “equality” meme is politically correct and we are not. The contributor GBFM here makes the case that classical literature supports what we are saying, you might go back and try to read some of his posts. Yes try, it’s not always easy lzololololzzzzz …
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Thank you FamilyMan. I like coming here, and other sites like this, because there IS no political correctness, Cheers.
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Somewhat related:
http://www.naturalnews.com/038743_primates_liars_gorilla.html
People lie to each other constantly: we experience 100-200 lies each day, and married couples lie to each other in every ten interactions. It shows that being married doesn’t entirely eliminate the normal patterns of behavior between people.
Some differences between men’s and women’s brains, to take into account when married and otherwise:
http://www.livescience.com/14421-human-brain-gender-differences.html
Study showing how a woman’s attractiveness makes a man happier and the relationship better:
http://today.ucla.edu/portal/ut/PRN-do-looks-really-matter-yes-and-209451.aspx
”The [less attractive] husbands seemed to be basically more committed, more invested in pleasing their wives when they felt that they were getting a pretty good deal. Because for men, the attractiveness of their wives is part of the deal,” said Karney, who is also an adjunct behavioral scientist at the RAND Corporation.
”For women, that’s not part of the deal. The deal that women get isn’t being with an attractive man. It’s being with a protective man, or a wealthy man, or an ambitious man, or even a sensitive man. So they didn’t care as much about the appearance of their husbands.”
That study and many others show how marriage is not about men and women acting the same way toward each other. Marriage is not like two colleagues with the same degree working on the same problem, it is like two people with different degrees coming together to solve different problems in a project.
One more about different behavior in a marriage:
http://www.hhs.gov/news/healthbeat/2013/11/calm-down.html
“This isn’t about who wins the argument – but a study of hot marital fights indicates that when the wife calms down, the couples are more happy.”
Aside from that, I can tell you one thing when I look through the many links I have about the psychology between the sexes. If I could give one brief piece of advice to all who get married it would be this: eat healthy and stay fit.
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Thanks for the good read Arbiter, Cheers.
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Great analysis here:
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That was painful. Been there myself, never went that far though. Before I learned not to help girls.
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@FamilyMan, I think context and calibration are key.
I do things for girls—occasionally. If I genuinely like them as a person (which I admit is rare, but there are girls who I just like even though I wouldn’t want to bang them.) Some girls literally throw themselves at me. I am not interested. But having a girl like that as social proof is always good, so I don’t mind doing something nice if it’s not inconvenient to me and if I know she’ll gush about it to her friends.
It’s important to consider this: If YOU are being needy a girl will sense this.
But if a GIRL is being needy and you oblige with some favour. In my experience they just go crazy swooning and singing your praises because you gave them a little attention.
I’m not so black and white now. If I personally know I’m not supplicating then yah, sure I’ll pick up a bottle of wine if i’m at the corner store and they text me from a party.
If I do this I usually game them: “So what’s in it for me?” “How do you plan to thank me?”
But since they’re already madly in love with me…even this lame game…is enough to have them dripping wet.
I’m thinking older 7’s or younger 6’s—not fatties.
In other words, girls that have friends who by their swooning would give you social proof but no one would mistake you for hitting on them.
Not sure if this has a name…”Mercenary game”? But then again all game is mercenary.
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.. and WHAT and ending. As close to a mandatory supervised viewing for one’s children, as a Hymiewood production possibly can get.
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It’s a bit like a 1960s reboot of The Sorrows of Young Werther.
The only problem I have with it is that the way it’s written, it’s too easy for the average lumpenprole to identify with Gary rather than recognize that Gary is how you don’t want to act.
Also, note how the less attractive girl (Rose) latches onto Gary, while completely ignoring the alpha Rick. It seems girls have a sixth sense about the attractiveness level of both themselves and their male counterparts, and seek out mates accordingly.
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OT – Chateau Heartiste appears to be banned on JetBlue flights. Today, while trying to visit the site using JetBlue WiFi (in beta, heh) on a NY-LA flight, an error came up saying “You’re trying to view a site that’s not available on Fly-Fi.” Needless to say, all Netflix content could be streamed via WiFi in flight. So, streaming sex scenes while seated next to children=fine; CH blog posts=banned! (Same for the Return of Kings website, but not rooshv.com)
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ya I have noticed a lot of places’ wi-fi blocks CH as “pornography”
zlozlzozlzozlzozlozlozoz
actually no lzolzozzllzo as that pisses me off if I’m stuck somewhere and have to read something other than CH
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It’s bound to happen to doubleplusungood crimethinkers.
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It’s fascinating seeing the birds on here chastise you all on the Poon Rule 16!
They were at leat fascinated enough to post comments that verge on the dominatrix side of female sexuality.
Do they actually recognize that they are engaging in power exchanges by saying that this or that rule doesn’t work?
PS I’ve found that carefully calibrated racism gets you laid. Especially by crusading liberal do-gooders. Especially Scandinavian types. It has the reverse effect on Jewish girls though.
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best. bot. EVER.
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You gots to hit the meaty part. Zhyd hamster is immune to staff that’s pure cocaine to the goy hamster. But also viceversa.
But why?
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cause Zhyd hamster knows he is superior to goys without saying a single word. If you have to mention it, you are not part of the Zhyd hamster tribe and parents forbid to play with the food.
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Lol. The Jewish girls swoon when they see a few darkies on the England football team. Never mind if the team score. Infact it’s even better for them when the team loses and is halfricanized.
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definitely possible for good looking guys that can dance even a little to pick up with minimal, or even no talking in a club. A plus is that girls picked up this way are usually up for one night stands.
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It is interesting that to be seen as cream of the crop by the most attractive women in their most attractive years, you no longer need to have an apprenticeship with a local craftsman, show how many acres of farmland you will inherit or show your ability to solve any problem whatsoever. Instead you need to know how to jerk spasmodically to sounds everyone involved will consider passé a year later.
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Jerk ‘rhythmically’
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This isn’t so much an argument against what you’re saying, because in general I agree, that’s the way it is. However…
Am I alone here in preferring the attention I get in my 30’s (I get LESS attention, but higher quality) to that that I got in my 20’s? In my 20’s it seemed like guys would decide they loved me before they knew me and then when my personality came out they weren’t sure what to make of the fact that I had one. Also every interaction I had with men seemed to be fraught with the white noise of the male libido- hard to tell who was sincere and when a connection was real or contrived. And this from a girl who’s pretty much average looking- youth is what really covers 3 kinds of ugly, not whiteness 😉
These days, attraction isn’t pre-supposed, but I seem to draw attention from guys who actually dig me instead of just having a blanket interest in girls in their 20’s. I think I’ll fare better choosing a mate under these circumstances.
Attraction is absolutely important, but wouldn’t it be shitty if that were the only reason they were with you? Glad my signs of aging can weed out some of the guys right off the bat!
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In my 20′s it seemed like guys would decide they loved me before they knew me and then when my personality came out they weren’t sure what to make of the fact that I had one.
Men are not uninterested in women because they discover she has a personality, that is a fake feminist claim. A woman who is intelligent and has insight is not scorned, despite what the leftist Sex and the City claimed. There is that scene when the red-haired woman, played by a leftist homosexual actor of course, goes to speed dating and every single man’s eyes glaze over when she says she is a lawyer. Then she lies and says she is a stewardess, and the men become interested. You believe that? It’s complete B.S. But I suppose that scene and teachings like it soothe women’s egos. In real life, most guys I know long for a woman who combines a warm personality with an analytical mind, so that she is able to hold an interesting conversation and learn meaningful things.
You get less attention but higher quality in your thirties, you say: meaning men are more desperate to get married while they can still find a reasonably attractive single woman. It doesn’t mean they were worse people in their twenties and are better now. A guy wants to get married when he doesn’t have many prospects left for having sex with different attractive women. It is not shallow, it means it is a great thing to be able to have sex with many different attractive women. It is a good thing to play the field in one’s twenties and find someone to marry in one’s thirties.
Also every interaction I had with men seemed to be fraught with the white noise of the male libido- hard to tell who was sincere and when a connection was real or contrived.
It is not wrong of a man to want to sleep with attractive women. And sexual desire does not make a connection any less sincere and does not stand in the way of love – the opposite is true. Attraction is the greatest ingredient in creating love, and love is very difficult to maintain without attraction. Without that desire you call white noise, why should a man approach? Because he wants a chess partner?
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A translation of what you just wrote:
You: Am I alone here in preferring the attention I get in my 30′s (I get LESS attention, but higher quality) to that that I got in my 20′s?
Translation: You are older and therefor past your prime. With fewer men showing interest any more, you appreciate more what is becoming less and less frequent: displays of interest.
You: Also every interaction I had with men seemed to be fraught with the white noise of the male libido- hard to tell who was sincere and when a connection was real or contrived.
Translation: Now that male ardor is cooling, your hamster is revving up – any interest (because it is less frequent) is taking on greater significance in every dimension.
You appear to be new here. The truth isn’t pretty, it is the truth. The question isn’t if attraction should be preeminent, it is whether at your age you retain enough value.
How widely have you share your affections at this point in life? Statistics show if you have slept with more than two men the odds of your breaking off a relationship go up exponentially. That means your marriageable value drops of at the same rate.
At your age, you are on the downward slope for attractiveness. Marriage goggles (caused by love and a positive personality on your point) will let you retain value with one man far past the point of physical value. For all others you are swiftly becoming part of the scenery.
The truth about men and women? They share very few interests in common for the most part (if they are straight). Sex is one of those interest. For men, that requires physical attraction. This is not sad, or horrible. It is the way we are built. If men are looking for non-sexual relationships, they are better off with male friends. Same for women.
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Read this one earlier today and couldn’t stop myself from laughing aloud. Spergy math geek applies quantitative methods to finding a girl via OKCupid, winds up reinventing Game without realizing it.
http://www.wired.com/wiredscience/2014/01/how-to-hack-okcupid/
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The breakthrough came when he coded up a modified Bell Labs algorithm called K-Modes. First used in 1998 to analyze diseased soybean crops, it takes categorical data and clumps it like the colored wax swimming in a Lava Lamp. With some fine-tuning he could adjust the viscosity of the results, thinning it into a slick or coagulating it into a single, solid glob.
He played with the dial and found a natural resting point where the 20,000 women clumped into seven statistically distinct clusters based on their questions and answers. “I was ecstatic,” he says. “That was the high point of June.”
The funny thing is, many women and some (leftist) men hate the thought that they aren’t the great independent thinkers they believe themselves to be, but are in fact biological creatures whose behaviors and desires come from instinct shaped by evolution. They therefore hate studies like this one. “Generalizing is bad!” “That’s prejudice!” They will only accept dispassionate analysis of people’s behavior when it is baseless accusations aimed at their enemies, like “You are just afraid of things you don’t know!” Then finding reasons for the behaviors of groups of people is suddenly acceptable. Provided it is actually all propaganda, of course.
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That’s because lefties do not really believe in evolution. They “believe” in it to the extent it can be used to club fundies over the head, and that’s all.
Lefties/libs/progs/ can’t bear the notion that not only did evolution not stop 40,000 years ago, it continues right now, and since the brain is an organ just as the lungs are organs, evolution does not stop at the neck. Hatefact!
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When the last question was answered and ranked, he ran a search on OkCupid for women in Los Angeles sorted by match percentage. At the top: a page of women matched at 99 percent. He scrolled down … and down … and down. Ten thousand women scrolled by, from all over Los Angeles, and he was still in the 90s.
He needed one more step to get noticed. OkCupid members are notified when someone views their pages, so he wrote a new program to visit the pages of his top-rated matches, cycling by age: a thousand 41-year-old women on Monday, another thousand 40-year-old women on Tuesday, looping back through when he reached 27-year-olds two weeks later. Women reciprocated by visiting his profiles, some 400 a day. And messages began to roll in.
Awesome. No “you’ll find someone when you stop looking!” bullshit. Rather than just flop around and hope to get lucky he looked carefully at his chosen venue and learned to maximize his chances. This is what men should do, but not just online of course. I have done similar things, considered which free-time activities and where would be the most suitable. I also started to help out with tutoring in a particular field which has given me great results. Stop and think, and it pays off. That and weightlifting.
Then came the message from Christine Tien Wang, a 28-year-old artist and prison abolition activist. McKinlay had popped up in her search for 6-foot guys with blue eyes near UCLA, where she was pursuing her master’s in fine arts. They were a 91 percent match.
Wait, wait, wait. Doesn’t this Asian leftist woman think that “everyone is the same”? And yet she searches specifically for White men – sorry, “men with blue eyes”. Ah, leftist hypocrisy. When it comes to their lives, you see the standards being different than what they preach in public.
She bristles at that. “You didn’t find me. I found you,” she says, touching his elbow. McKinlay pauses to think, then admits she’s right.
He spent hours making the perfect profile, adding the questions that women viewed the most. And yet she claims he didn’t do the work? And he “admits” she is right? Oh. Sigh.
Tien Wang was accepted into a one-year art fellowship in Qatar.
…
A week later Tien Wang is back in Qatar, and the couple is on one of their daily Skype calls when McKinlay pulls out a diamond ring and holds it up to the webcam. She says yes.
Oh, McKinlay. Such intellligence, but you couldn’t go further than this, the leftist feminist who leaves you for art work in Qatar. You don’t even see her often enough to allow you to propose in person.
Intelligent beta who could have done so much better with the right help.
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My wife has a female (Asian) doctor friend that has spent most of the last five years away from her husband. Smoking hot body, face starting to age. I don’t care how hot a woman is, once a month at best visits for five years (she is from California, spent time in Michigan, Saudi, and Maryland) while she pursues her career is a non-starter. Hell, I’d be even more pissed because she was hot. She mentioned once that she was baffled why her in-laws consider her a “tiger” and controlling. Also no interest in children. ONST or FWB material only… and her face is approaching the wall even if her body is still fairly tight.
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Grim, Scray, Amy,
Thanks for your replies on my question that was deleted.
Something happened weird with the submissive girl’s phone, and she got in touch with me yesterday, very worried. I can continue to use this girl for as long as I’d like.
Scray, yes, the soft next may have been applied a little willy nilly, but I’ve adopted the idea that a woman can’t be taught by telling and needs showing. Essentially, I thought she needed to be emotionally hurt in this case before she’d really devote time into the things I told her.
Amy, no troll. And I’m not just an asshole to this woman, because that wouldn’t work, though I am very dominant. I sometimes keep her walking on egg shells. And I wasn’t going to realize I fucked up and apologize. I didn’t have to. Lastly, I often enjoy reading your comments.
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You’re backtracking now and saying you’re not always an asshole to her, yet you’ve actually said you treat her like shit and are using her. You’re excessively cruel. Texting her friend (I assume flirtatiously) to punish her? I’d launch you for that alone. Talk about the punishment not fitting the crime.
I’m calling you out because I have experience dating very dominant men and trust me, I understand the dynamic. I know what she needs from you, so that she is able to do all of the things you expect from her… which she really does want to do for you. If you were really a dominant man and not an asshole, you’d know all that and you’d be doing it.
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The Alpha lifestyle of a CEO playa. Bill Gates says he ‘does the dishes every night’ but that in a biopic, his wife wants him to be portrayed by Samuel L. Jackson. No one inspires wifely racial loyalty like a dutiful SWPL billionaire.
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2556606/Bill-Gates-life-billionaire-says-wife-like-Samuel-L-Jackson-play-movie.html
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A black man playing Bill gates?
when Hollywood makes a movie about Oprah as I’m sure they soon will, Scarlet Johansen should play her, and if Obama is in that movie Jerry Seinfeld should play him, and Rosie O’Donnel should play Michelle Obama
Hell! why even stick to the appropriate gender? aren’t gender social constructs anyway?
why don’t they have Bill Gates played by Whoopie Goldberg?
And Obama played by Melissa McCarthy?
If I met Bill Gates’ wife I’d tell her exactly this.
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Hearts should be played by ru paul.
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In the upcoming MLK biopic, the good doctor should definitely be portrayed by Carrot Top.
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@YaReally
Took a couple hot young girls out last night just to hang. Both 8+s. One is just too much drama for me, the other is solid but has boyfriend. Beautiful girl, well mannered, well educated. We were chatting and as the night progressed she eventually opened up that her boyfriend doesn’t fuck her the way she wants to be fucked: really rough. (this is becoming a recurring theme in my interaction with women now.) I know she likes it rough because we made out about a year back when I started slapping her she returned the favor lol. Last night tried making out with her a couple times while we were hanging last night, she rejected the advances. Coyness: “I have a boyfriend, lol, that’s not happening.” But the vibe was still solid, she wasn’t scare doff. We started grinding in this divey bar and it got pretty intimate,..cheek to cheek, pulling her hair, clenching her ass, grabbing herby her coat collar and kind of throwing her around the room on rhythm lol (this probably looked weird to the patrons, lol). She didn’t come home, boyfriend checking in earlier, but left an invitation to meet again. Would like to know what might be going through her mind and how to advance. She prolly feels a little guilty about the dance floor antics and even just hanging out with a guy whose intentions she knows are to fuck her. Clearly she isn’t sold on getting fucked by me, but it’s tempting to her. She’s weighing getting fucked like she wants with her loyalty to her boyfriend whom she likes. Think eventually I need to text what I would exactly set up a rough sex session and exactly what I would do. She’s leaving in X number weeks. Thinking about starting out with something like “So I X weeks to seduce you, huh?”, get a conversation going, then outline what I would do.
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@YaReally
I got raw with her over text. Made a statement. Coy responses from her. I don’t want to push it from here since it’s going to seem desperate if I continuing escalating. Going to radio silence. If she leaves after X days, she leaves. If she really wants to get banged out before then, she knows where to go now.
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> “Beautiful girl, well mannered, well educated.”
Two points:
1) Do not allow yourself to start developing feelings for her. If she will cheat on him, then she WILL cheat on you. Cheaters cheat – that’s just who they are. NEVER trust a cheater. Furthermore, “beautiful, well mannered, well educated” is the kinda profile which will seduce you into wanting to believe that she is wife material, but she is NOT – she’s just another filthy stinking good-for-nothing cheating whore.
2) I woulda considered upping the ante and either would have gone to some bi-chick of my acquaintance and asked her to do it for free, or else would have gone to a professional dominatrix and hired her for a firm date. Then I would have txted Miss Well-Mannered Well-Educated an ORDER [not a request, but an ORDER] to the effect that:
“I will be at [insert address here] at 1:00 AM Saturday morning with a kinky girlfriend friend of mine and she is very, very excited to meet you. Do not bring your boyfriend.”
Have several bottles of champagne on ice and some champagne flutes and whatever leather accoutrements and handcuffs and whatnot that the Bi/Dom brings with her.
Then whether or not Miss Well-Mannered Well-Educated can summon the courage to actually show up, at least you can have fun with the Bi/Dom chick in her absence.
The key here, though, is to order her, not ask her.
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1) Of course I have feelings for her. I like have sex with women I whose company I enjoy. It makes it better. There’s a difference between having feelings and being a lapdog.
2) This isn’t really a strong strategy for a number of reasons.
a)>/b> Bondage play is really, really sensitive territory for a girl. Like, they might say “I’d love to be tied up”…and then when you tell them you bought the bondage rope, they realize shit is real and get scared, like is this guy a psycho and going to kill me scared. It requires an immense level of trust between partners. You think ASD is bad, you throw bondage into the equation and it’s like ASD on steroids for a lot of girls. I brought some rope home to my primary the other day, and asked her if she wanted to be tied up. She did, but it still took some time for her to admit she wanted to try it because it’s thought of as really naughty, and it’s tough for her to vocalize that she wants to do it. (In fact, if it’s a girl’s first time with real deal bondage rope, the best thing to do is have her tie you up first so she starts of with a sense of comfort and control with the whole experience. So ordering a girl into rope play isn’t going to work.
b) she already told me she wants to be fucked hard and her boyfriend won’t do it. all that means is she is tempted, and could see herself fucking me, but it doesn’t mean she has the courage to go threw with it. We actually talked about how she has an opportunity to fuck all her exes before she leaves for a new city, and she admitted she thought about it but wouldn’t go through with it. Yes she wants to get fucked hard, but she doesn’t want to feel guilty when she comes home and says I love you to her boyfriend, and doesn’t want to think of herself as a shameful slut. So the bondage offer is a smokeout. Like, ok, you say you like rough sex, then let’s make it real and you’re going to get thoroughly dominated.
c) lastly, she’d find all that champagne stuff cheesy and she’d rather tie up a girl than have a girl tie her up.
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lol, sorry again for the bad HTML and the constant typos lol. I need to hire an editor for these CH posts anyway.
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2a for sure. People’s definitions of “being tied up”, “rough sex” and even “kinky” vary widely.
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yup. here are three examples of kinked out rough sex I’ve partaken in or have friends who’ve partaken in with partners: rape reenactment, punching, fisting. Common thread through all of them: the act is “requested” by the female, not “ordered” by the male. Unless you’re actively seeking sex-offender status, do yourself a favor and do not order your partner to do this stuff.
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@Amy
Any suggestions for handling this situation? Would appreciate a woman’s perspective.
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She’s fighting that anti-slut defense. You have to get her to a place where she feels ok about coming over… so she can rationalize in her head that it’s just about getting her sexual needs met, she’s leaving town so it won’t turn into a big drama, no one will know, it doesn’t really count, etc.
I’d have to know what you texted her and how she responded. If she was sexual I’d consider texting her again after a week or 2. Text her what you’re going to do to her and tell her she’s coming over on x date at x time. It takes the decision she doesn’t want to make out of her hands. Calibrate it as heavy or light (if you’re good, maybe I’ll do x) as warranted.
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@Amy
I told her I that her leaving meant I had X amount of time to seduce her and that I thought she would enjoy getting handcuffed and tied and tossed around a bedroom like an object. She responded that it looks like I’m taking taking the deadline seriously. That’s a neutral-to-warm response in my opinion. She’s not freaked out by the idea, but she’s not saying “bad boy, you make my panties wet.”
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@Amy
Would you recommend giving her directions on what to tell her boyfriend? Exampel: “Tell him you’re going shopping.” Or does even mentioning the boyfriend amplify the ASD?
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@Amy
“Come over on X day, and let’s get a little rough. You have Y weeks left here. No one will know…and if you’re good girl I’ll do Z to you.”
Doesn’t laying the cards on the table as such make ASD that much worse?
I’m still very beginner at seducing taken women, but it’s a skill I feel I need since about 90-95% of them women I’m interested in are “taken”.
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Well, just a caveat: I haven’t been in this cheating-ASD scenario. Just the sex-ASD.
Since she’s already told you she likes it rough, and played it out a little in the bar, I doubt that’s where the ASD is coming from. It’s the boyfriend.
You were pretty direct in your last text and while she demurred a little, she was still receptive. So yea, I would text her a direction to come over at a certain day and time to get roughed up, what happens in x stays in x (she’s moving, right?) She definitely needs to be *told* to come over, in her mind that helps take the decision out of her hands.
I wouldn’t mention the boyfriend, it just highlights that she’s cheating.
YaReally has experience with taken women so hopefully he’ll weigh in.
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My read is that if it were in fact going to go down, then it already would have.
She had her opportunity. That night was her way of saying, I have feelings for you and needs that are unmet but I can’t really go through with them.
Had a similar experience with a woman earlier in the month. I think this must be pretty common behavior for a woman who has a nice, handsome poster boy boyfriend from a good family. She still wants to stay in touch with a bad boy, savoring the dirty texts she receives from him time to time, maybe even meeting up with him in safe place just to feel desire for her. She’d like to have both men, but because she’s too scared to lose the good man, the closest to emotional completion with limited risk is making a home with the nice guy and keeping in touch with the bad boy. Only if some fatal flaw emerges in the relationship, like the guy goes full beta, the sex disappears and she wants to leave him, will she give in to her desires and consummate the relationship into a secret romp.
Come to think of it, the “taken” women I’ve slept with have all hidden their relationships at first flirt so as not to upset the prospect of sex. They don’t want me saying, you’re married/taken, sorry I don’t do that. They’ve also been really compliant, open to real PDA. (Oh wait, like a different girl who is texting me now, lol.) So new soft rule for me is any taken woman who declares she is missing rough sex is probably just wants a virtual fantasy, not one that gets consummated skin-to-skin.
Thank you for your input.
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@darkhorse
lol this is all just ASD. You’re actually creating MORE ASD not LESS with all these raw sexual follow-ups you’re doing.
This is why you don’t get too raunchy/sexual until you have a solid clear path logistically to the actual lay in that same interaction. If you pass a certain point but can’t deal the deal, her ASD kicks in and you’ll have a bitch of a time getting her to meet up again because her ASD is saying “noooope stay away from him or you’ll have sex and be a cheater and a slut!” If you pass that same point but CAN seal the deal that same night, then she’ll be easier to meet up with again because she’s already jumped into the cold water of the pool so he might as well do it again as it becomes normalized to her.
Your raw txts about how you thought she’d enjoy being tossed around and no one will find out and bla bla are 1) making this “you’ll have sex if you hang out” ASD worse, and 2) trying to logically convince her…remember: change her mood, not her mind. It’s the equivalent of a dude listing off reasons why a girl should be attracted to him when she’s not.
That all said, this strategy CAN work, because I’ve pulled it off when I accidentally went down this route in my earlier less calibrated days of trying this out…but the common theme when it works tends to be that you have to go so overboard into sexual territory that she’s so turned on that she short-circuits her own ASD and goes for it, but to pull that off you need a lot of elements to align perfectly like you need to be txting her on a night when she’s horny and has free time to have a few hours txt convo plus the time to come bang (like her husband is gone for the weekend), plus get her into a deep sexting convo which means a lot of 50 shades descriptive sexual txts on your part (not “I have handcuffs, it would be fun”, more “you’d feel the steel cuffs click around your wrists as I nibble on your neck and growl in your ear telling you to tell me what a dirty little bla bla” which is a big time investment on your end), plus a bunch of other shit…generally it’s just too random and low % to bother with this route. There’s a very low chance of it working and of you just wastin a bunch of energy trying.
Much better is to avoid that situ entirely. You should be removing all sexuality from hanging out instead of increasing it. She should feel like “oh he just wants to have innocent goodbye drinks as friends before I leave” and then in-person you seduce her because you know the attraction is there…so you isolate her, give her excuses for her actions (let her have a glass of wine so she can say “we were drinking” etc), and escalate and it should be a done deal.
At this point you might have the ASD too flared up to salvage it. You could try something crazy like a week or two (depending on when she’s leaving) of radio silence followed by telling her you’re seeing someone now and you’ve decided to get serious with them and so you two can’t have sex but it would be cool to grab a farewell drink together before she moves on with her life etc and disqualifying yourself like that MIGHT get a meet-up…but that’s some untested shit right there so I can’t predict what kind of success % that would have.
Ideally in the future use this as a reference experience for why we don’t go too far until we know we can make the actual lay happen logistically. It’s such a nightmare to deal with triggered ASD lol. Remember that she WANTS to fuck you. She WISHES she could, she’d LOVE the sex you’re offering…but ASD is so strong that she’ll pass up what she knows would be the best sex of her life, just to appease her ASD.
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Thanks. I may have pushed hard so ASD certainly is strong. Plus Valentine’s day can only make it worse. I’ll figure out logistics that work and just do drinks. I was in a similar situation and told a girl she couldn’t make out with me if we met up and she tried to force herself on me.
Side note: Ironically talking to female friends about the situation makes them want to sleep with me more. ,
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@darkhorse
Ya, do radio silence now then txt her after vday. Like Sunday evening if she lives alone or Monday during the day if she lives with him. There’s a possible chance he’ll fuck up vday with a shitty lay etc. and you can capitalize on that after she’s bummed about it for a couple days.
BEFORE vday, her ASD is going to go off harder cause she’s visualizing that he might send her flowers at work and treat her to a nice candlelit dinner and bang her proper. But after when none of this happens, that’s a possible window of opportunity.
Vday Xmas etc are all trickier for banging a girl in a relationship because the ASD/guilt kicks in higher. I had to stop banging a girl because her upcoming wedding triggered her ASD too hard as the wedding day got closer (lol, I just wanted to write that sentence).
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Logisticically is meeting at a hotel bar and going for the bathroom fuck too much of a challenge given ASD. I can’t bring her home. She can’t go home either.
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oh ya just saw the tweets. Yes CH Dunkin Donuts is one of the places where CH is blocked as “pornography”
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