We sat in a window box of the cafe. Warming sunlight marched through and glittered off her black hair. As I spoke absent-mindedly about a girl I loved whom I recently lost, barely comprehending in my stream of consciousness that I was airing my inner thoughts, a sunshaft grazed her cheek and I saw that she was silently crying. Two soft tears traced slowly downward, framed within an expressionless face. The effect hit me hard, not because it was the first time I made a woman cry from sheer carelessness, but because her tears were so incongruent with her personality. She was an Ivy-educated business consultant, easily turning six figures, ambitious, sure of herself in ways she thought mattered, and to the undiscerning eye cold and opaque.
She was also pretty, but the timing of our fling threw her orbit away from mine. Pleasing enough, she regrettably didn’t press my buttons like my recent ex-girlfriend had. And so, when she earnestly pried for my truest feelings, she received in return the fate of suffering reckless confessions she didn’t want to hear. My emotions were raw, and I unloaded on her callously as she took my strafe on every flank. Not meaning to hurt her, I had, and every time we had sex since then, over the following weeks, it ended with her tucking her knees under her chin naked on the bed to quietly cry into the wrapped bubble of her body.
When my one-sided conversation with the cosmos had finished, and her tears had shocked me back to empathy and guilt, she choked out a tiny utterance that I’ll never forget. A simple, endearing question: “So you really liked this girl?” Imagine for a moment the excruciating hollowness of unreciprocated longing that the friendzoned beta male feels as he patiently abides his love’s encomiums to another man. Women can feel this way, too.
I crashed back into her presence. Now all I could think was making amends and, truthfully, a part of me wanted to preserve for a while longer the usefulness of her distractive adoration in my time of need.
“Yes.”
I surprised myself at the forthrightness of my answer. Quickly recalibrating, “…but I could see it coming, so maybe it’s all for the best.”
She coaxed a crooked smile, but I had sunk her. She knew in that bright cafe that we would never be more together than a pleasurable temporary escape. Already approaching thirty, the weight of it landed in the breadbasket of her soul.
These stories locked in time offer lessons for times yet to come. What I had unknowingly, accidentally, obliviously, and with quite sincere effort done to this woman was run an extreme version of Disqualification Game on her. That confessional about my recent ex, the sincerity with which I expressed my confusion and unresolved desire, the indifference to how it might be received by present company, sent my replacement lover into a tailspin. She felt stronger love for me at the same time she felt the sadness of our inevitable, arriving end. Thus, our sex life carried on while her tears flowed heavier with accumulating grief.
What was accidental can be made intentional for one’s personal advantage. “I’ll always have this thing for my ex” Extreme Disqualification Game can, if delivered without a hint of manipulative urgency (almost as an afterthought), greatly increase a woman’s attraction to you. She’ll see herself as the one who can make it better, or steal your heart away, if you’re careful to stop just short of killing her hope outright. You’ll be a challenge too irresistible to some women, especially women with options, and if you parcel your redirected romance into hamster-sized pellets that make her feel as if she’s slowly winning you over, you’ll have from her a love that can transcend all other arid considerations women tend to autonomically jot down on dating profiles or personal ads.
Or leave her, out of the blue. Then reluctantly return. She will ignite like a thousand flames.
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Reminds me of J. Robert Oppenheimer’s remarks at witnessing the first atomic explosion:
“If the radiance of a thousand suns were to burst at once into the sky, that would be like the splendor of the mighty one ..”
“I am become Death, the destroyer of worlds…”
Disappearing Act / Extreme Disqualification Game – These are “nuclear options”
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Dangerous game. I think a lot depends on the timing. Doing this in an established RL, after the I love you exchange or even headed into it, is pretty nuclear.
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90% of women settle for the pathetic males that are out there when they desire actual men as there are so few, and that dwindling statistic is accelerating rapidly as even the idea of the typical hipster fags take root and spread like a virus among a feminized populus.
millions of 22 year old females created yearly looking for the real men, and when they hit your age, have settled several times already as i am sure you have and still do.
no danger. not to men, anyway.
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You don’t know my age or the type of men I date, but thanks for playing.
It’s a dangerous game if you care about losing the girl. Oh, I know. You’re so tough and alpha you don’t care about anybody, ever. Assuming it’s true (I’d bet money it isn’t) then you are the sad one. Deadening yourself against the lows of life and love makes it harder to feel the highs.
I agree about the hipster metrosexuals, though. A trend that needs reversing.
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So, I’m at the gym, which is uncharacteristically full of ripped black-skinned men generally qualified for the term “nigger,” when I fin myself staring at one guy who’s the quintessential gym rat // ‘roid monster. And, despite myself, all I can think is, “Is he gay?” It was a deja vu moment just like when I watched a gay client masterfully manage a client, consultant (not me), and contractors simultaneously on a fucked-up project site. Admiration for the faggotty mastery of men (and women). He’s a great client, BTW.
So, when we’re talking about metrosexuals, does this include the apparently manly – but secretly effeminate – ‘roid monsters we see at the gym?
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Most black men have engaged in one form of buggery or another. heir communities are rife with predators: no strong father figures, sexual experimentation is encouraged, and, of course, the fact that only a few alpha men are getting all the Bumqueeshas— the rest are banging each other to stave off their sexual frustration.
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To me, the metrosexual label is more about appearance than sexuality. A big manly guy isn’t going to get tagged as a metrosexual. Pajama boy is a metrosexual, regardless of his actual sexual orientation.
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Okay so you lose the girl. Boo hoo, there are more.
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u r a headache
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rather her than scray-scray
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she’s the female version of scary
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By date u mean fuck?
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I mean date. As in time spent with a guy which may or may not progress into a relationship.
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You never lose a girlfriend, only your turn.
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… You don’t know my age or the type of men I date, but thanks for playing….
Let me try “a shot in the dark” at it
you are in your late 30s, possibly early 40s
you used to be more of an independent girrrrl, even a bully or maybe even tried being a dominatrix or something of the sort,
you even thought you might be a lesbian at some point, but now you have somehow “softened up”, you now consider yourself a heterosexual,
you want a simple “normal” life and wish you could find a good provider alpha man
in short ,you used to be wild but now are hoping for the white picket fence dream
How am I doing? 😉
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“you are in your late 30s, possibly early 40s”
LOL No way! I’m an ancient thirty-five, ya know. She is clearly in her twenties 🙂 I hope Amy didn’t take your comment as an insult and instead got as much amusement out of it as I did 🙂 LOLOL 🙂 Or saw it as the chance to qualify herself it might be. Fun idea for a post though: how to guess a woman/man’s age.
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> “I’m an ancient thirty-five, ya know.”
Is that new boy-toy of yours gonna put a bun in your oven?
Or is he too much of a pussy to man-up and become a father?
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We already have three children. All blonde. How many YOU got?
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“…or maybe even tried being a dominatrix or something of the sort”
Lol! This is truly 50 shades of wrong. No, sorry CF but none of it is right.
I am always told I have an old soul, though. I have a lot of friends who are older and married.
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Grr, growrr, Tili “A woman is not a person” Kum! Women, grr, bark, bark! That’s your posts in a nutshell. Obviously there is no topic CH can come up with that would make you change your habit, to simply use it as a chance to show your hatred of the women of the world, the evil creatures who won’t date you. While others discuss game, which you know you have nothing to do with, you simply take the chance to vent.
Such are the ways of fat, ugly fifty-year-olds who haven’t had sex for twenty years. Too bad your kind has so much free time on your hands; you stink up the manosphere, when you could be spending that time going out and getting some exercise. Though I expect that at this late stage, exercise would kill you. So let me buy you a pair of sneakers big enough to fit your swollen feet, and off you go. 😀
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two long paragraphs and a smily face when you could just change your handle to “White Knight”?
again, huffington post is <<<<<<<<<<< that way.
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It’s hard to write complete sentences with a black man’s dick your mouth, isn’t it boy?
Rape!
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I’m actually going to go ahead and agree with “Amy” on this one. when you do this to a girl, she will lean more toward losing hope (and finding a guy who’s more push/pull) than actually inspire her to win your love. Do this to a girl if you actually have no feelings or care for keeping her and loving her. no alpha has a girl that emotionally holds him and SHE will also probably subconciously recognize this.
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Agreed. As I am older, I arrive with prior relationships and their evidence (children, odd opinions about the divorce industry). So every woman ‘audits’ for lingering affections. I have found it best just to decline commentary, positive or negative, and this produces a less confrontational form of disqualification game. It’s also a lot safer if someone asks a question about an ex- who evokes some of my inadvertent anger or resentment. I just shake my head, refuse comments. They can figure out for themselves if I am still carrying a torch. “Well, she’s the mother of my children …” is about as explicit as I prefer to get.
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Years ago I recall having this same conversation with a girl I had been banging immediately after I separated from my wife awaiting the divorce. I didn’t understand game but I was free-spirited and had several options.
This girl really liked me but I had met someone else I thought I might like more. So I told the girl “Someone really hurt me that’s why we can’t get more involved…”
The girl’s reaction was fiercely protective. “WHo is she, I’ll hurt her!” she declared.
I think that like all aspects of game at the heart of it is the ability to love but also be willing to walk away.
For Extreme Disqualification Game to be even a strategy there has to be some motivation behind it. In this case the motivation is the same as mine, the girl was nice but I wasn’t that into it.
We ended up involved for another year mostly for sex which is what the girl really seemed to be after.
As with most things, when I did show true interest in her, she decided I was too selfish or too something and I never saw her again.
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“I think that like all aspects of game at the heart of it is the ability to love but also be willing to walk away.”
No, the ability to love has nothing to do with game. But they aren’t mutually exclusive.
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Being a female on the CH boards, weighing in on what it’s like to be a man and to game women, must be a distinct honor. Like being the world’s tallest midget.
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Yes, all other accomplishments dwarf in comparison.
(sorry, couldn’t resist)
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clearly on the rag
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@Amy your posts are often insightful. But this one about “love” to me illustrates the conflict that women have between “logic” and “emotion”.
Yes, logically they should see Extreme Disqualification Game as “nuclear” but as the original post demonstrates and in my case as well, the ability to walk away has more to do with sparking more desire.
If it doesn’t then the ability to walk away on the part of many inoculates him from feeling too much.
I’ve tried it both ways. My ability to sustain “love” was sabotaged by my refusal to walk away and instead share my feelings and emotions. I appeared weak.
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It’s nuclear because, as in CH’s example, if you leave her no hope that you’ll love her, she’ll probably leave. If you create the impression instead that it will be difficult to earn your love… well, that’s a magical dynamic. It can be a thin line between making her feel there’s no hope (which is like being punched in the gut and you can’t get air- BTDT) and making her think it’s unlikely yet possible.
You can love someone and still be willing to walk away. I’d expect that from any man. Why should I feel like I can do whatever I want and still have him stay with me? You never want to make a girl feel like that; no matter what we say, we don’t want to feel like we have that kind of power over you. She should always be aware your love, if it’s there, is conditional.
As for sharing feelings/emotions… of course I’ll never understand how “alpha” men fall in love, the actual process of it, but I’ve learned a little about how they show it. They don’t show it by waxing poetic about it, sending heart emoticon texts, or buying roses on Valentine’s Day. Girls will lure you into thinking you have to show it this way, and most of them actually believe it, but as you know they’re wrong. So you just don’t do it. You know what they will really respond to is the scarcity of any demonstrations of feeling from you. It gives any small demonstration of affection great value, and it reminds us that we don’t have full power over you. Which, as much as it drives us nuts, is fundamentally reassuring.
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‘I think that like all aspects of game at the heart of it is the ability to love but also be willing to walk away.’
I’d say that this is a particular from the general principle — it’s just self-control, in general. Confidence, rather than arrogance. Needing nothing, but unafraid to say/express wants.
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“The girl’s reaction was fiercely protective. “WHo is she, I’ll hurt her!” she declared.”
Yeah, some of us get pretty protective. Like this woman who broke up with our illustrious host. Does she know who he *is*! Nobody puts ‘eartiste in the corner!
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No woman in love wants to fully accept the fact that a man can offer his deepest affections to someone who is not her.
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thats why we don’t throw it in her face and still bang the bartender too 🙂
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Sorry to hear about the break up 😦
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Lol you make jokes!
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“Those who find ugly meanings in beautiful things are corrupt without being charming.” – Wilde
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Giving her hope is key.
I dated this one girl for while and kept in contact with my ex explaining that we were simply “good friends.”
I was generally aloof and dickish to the girl I was currently dating and told her it takes me a long time to get emotionally invested.
Eventually she went through my phone and saw some somewhat (but not entirely) incriminating texts to my ex. She cried, but stayed.
She was about to leave to study abroad in a month and told her that when she left we’d be broken up, likely to never see each other again. She was very sad, but gave me some of the best sex of my life that whole month.
Despite not valuing her much while we were together, I came to miss her.
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How did she get hold of your phone? Under no circumstances would I let a girl see the list of people I have texted, especially not since she would find that quite a few of the texts I have sent to her begin the same way as texts I have sent to other girls.
I have learned my lesson after that one time when I wanted to show a girl I was dating something in an email. I opened up my Gmail and quickly clicked on the email with the information. I didn’t think of that she could see the list of contacts to the left. I use that email address almost only for the girls I date. One of the girls in the list was her classmate at the university, a girl she hated. We still went to bed together, but that is the only time a girl got up at 5 am to leave my place because she didn’t get any sleep the whole night. Never saw her again.
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She went through it while I was passed out drunk.
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Which university you trolling? Hogwarts?
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> “Despite not valuing her much while we were together, I came to miss her.”
You know, instead of just the endless purposeless nihilistic fornication with these poor bitches, you could actually put some buns in their ovens instead.
Do your part to keep Western Civilization from going extinct.
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She was a couple years younger than me and still in school when I was graduating. I was moving 1200 miles away. Tough part about growing up today is that people move around so much, and girls are told that their careers are the most important thing for them worry about until age 30.
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Sounds like a sweet girl, I know I’m different from a lot of you here in that I think that there can be such a thing as a keeper.
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Closest thing to a keeper I’ve seen yet. She wasn’t perfect though.
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Hmmmm. Seems like any expression of feelings for an ex automatically indicates you didn’t aloofly alpha-dump her, that she ended it (or even if it was mutual, the man is sad or still misses her at least a little bit), and sounds beta and like you’re not over her, and not in a good way. Plenty of online profiles of women say, “don’t contact me if you broke up with your ex less than six months ago,” because they’ve experienced the betas who are not over their exes who dumped them. I did that to a few girls, because I purposely tried to jump right back on the horse instead of sitting around moping, with the goal to have sex with a new woman before my ex had sex with a new man, so I went on match and then went out on dates less than a week after the end of a 3-year LTR, and the new girls could, of course, smell that I was sad about the ex.
I do get that in your story, you were already the alpha that the current girl you made cry was having sex with. In my story I was a beta trying to get a new girl for the first time.
But, even in an LTR, if she knows you could fuck your ex if you wanted to, but you’re the one who dumped her…okay, that’s preselection/ability to get another woman, but I don’t get you advocating sort of almost “pining” for an ex in a way saying you miss her but it sounds like she’s gone whether you like it or not.
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You are clearly conflating pick up artistry with the more far reaching concept of game here. Reminiscing fondly about a past love certainly isn’t a topic opener by any means, but to do so openly, and as a lamenting contrast, can certainly play on a person’s emotions, as our dear authors’ story illustrates.
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@Grim I think your post misses the emotional impact girls have. The reason online posts say “dont’ contact me if you broke up with your ex less than six months ago” isn’t because the dude they’re meeting up with would be “beta” it would be because he would be “aloof” and “unavailable” 2 very attractive qualities for women. But also 2 qualities that LOGICALLY a woman would not want, they want someone they can control but chase someone they can’t.
Hope that clarifies.
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This is my impression too.
They love to have betas contact them that they can choose among, more orbiters please!
If the woman is less bitchy / more sincere than this, she won’t have such a requirement in her profile — probably not anyway.
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Never been able to execute extreme disqualification game. Just not sure if my game is at that level yet or i’m not executing properly. My extreme disqualification if I had to pin it down just comes off as beta-still attached game.
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> “Never been able to execute extreme disqualification game.”
This shit that Heartiste is talking about here is some pretty God-damned nihilistic voodoo.
He’s talking about absolutely breaking a woman’s soul.
Destroying her.
I’ve never been there – at least not intentionally – maybe accidentally, without realizing it, but not intentionally.
I hate to quote a nigger [and a diarrhea-colored nigger at that], but as Colin Powell once said, “You break it, you own it.”
Whereas, from the point of view of Game Theory, the operative syllogism would be, “You break it, and then you discard it.”
And then you wonder afterwards why so many women hate so many men with such virulent passion.
Personally, I don’t see how breaking and discarding other human beings is going to do any good as far as the larger goal of saving Western Civilization from extinction is concerned, but if anyone has an argument as to why it’s such a wonderful idea, then I’ll give it a listen.
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Agreed. I am all in favor of not letting women manipulate us, being in charge, and all that good stuff. But the cynical mind-fuck stuff I read about here, done for the sole purpose of getting a woman to have sex with you, even knowing it will mess her up mentally, is, reprehensible. And then when she has been turned into emotional crap and sleeps around with any guy who will have her, because she figures ‘that is all she is good for’, these same people dismiss her as nothing better than ‘pump and dump’ material.
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We did not ask for this, women did,
Feminists made their bed, now we ‘pump’n’dump’ them in it.
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If you were just P&D’ing over the hill feminists, I’d see your point. You aren’t.
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It is not about me, it is about the generation of whores decades of feminism has created, and how empty and sad those whores eventually become after they rode the carousel for too long thinking it was the thing to do to feel “empowered”.
It has been known for as long as men have written books that females tend to make bad choices. Even very recent studies come to the same conclusion. Women do not know what is good for them. Women tend to make bad choices.
Feminism is one of their worst one.
They wanted it , they made their bed.
they lie in it, we fuck them in it.
Again this is not about me, it is about something much bigger.
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If you re-read the OP, you’ll see this woman was pushing 30, had definitely put career as A#1 in her life, and perhaps was starting to look for a beta provider.
And ya’ll are crying tears about CH breaking her heart? You have any idea how many hearts she’d probably ripped into over her past 12-14 years of dating life?
Yes, cry me a river for this chick who is finally paying attention to her biological clock.
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@Random Guy and ZS: But he didn’t hurt her intentionally. And even if he had… it was the truth, wasn’t it? She didn’t mean as much to him as he meant to her, and it wasn’t going to change. At some point she needed to know it.
From a girl’s perspective, it’s much more reprehensible to do anything to cynically lure the girl into thinking you care MORE for her than you really do. And I’ve yet to see CH advocate that type of game.
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“This shit that Heartiste is talking about here is some pretty God-damned nihilistic voodoo.”
Damn straight.
What a disconcerting and incongruous story! Beautifully written to boot. I’m still wrestling with that last paragraph: “What was accidental can be made intentional for one’s personal advantage…”
Because of that, this post makes me think more of Roosh’s misgivings (http://www.rooshv.com/the-beginning-of-the-end) than an unabashed “embrace dark triad traits and get girls” stunt.
This post was genuinely moving and poignant in its descriptions of the emotional states of both parties:
“She knew in that bright cafe that we would never be more together than a pleasurable temporary escape.”
You don’t go from that sort of a tragic awareness and empathy to unabashed and destructive manipulation, and that doesn’t really seem to be the whole point of this story.
In all seriousness, CH, maybe it’s time to settle down.
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Hm, how about writing the story so that you clearly dumped the ex …
“sometimes I worry about Brenda, I ended it with her pretty suddenly after she embarrassed me at the New Year’s Eve party and then we had a big fight …”
The girl interviewing to replace Brenda will be sure not to embarrass you at parties, something she’ll feel is within her control.
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hey heartiste, you’re the man, I got a question for you:
do you see yourself ever having kids? is it something you want, are opposed to, or are indifferent about?
I used to definitely want kids, but as I get older into my late 20’s I’m realizing more and more how much they’ll take away my life and the things I enjoy
but then again I don’t want to end up 50 years old with no kids and lots of regrets
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I used to definitely want kids, but as I get older into my late 20′s I’m realizing more and more how much they’ll take away my life and the things I enjoy
It feels that way, but as you say, think of how you will feel in your fifties. Increasingly, your life will feel empty without children. Single and childless, you’ll spend the last decades of your life feeling like there is no use getting up for another day. There won’t be any sexual adventures to catch your interest at that time. I know, I feel the same way, that I have no desire to have children. But like you I know how different it will be when I get older.
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Also – and this is UBER IMPORTANT – all of the nice girls from the good families in your age cohort are already being snapped up left and right.
So you can either grab a nice girl from a good family NOW – while it might still be possible – or else you had better start preparing yourself emotionally and intellectually for settling down with a chick who is MUCH younger than you.
And in all honesty, if you’re pushing 30, then it might already be too late to find a nice girl from a good family in your age cohort – they’ve probably all been grabbed up by the dudes who were smart enough to grab them when the grabbing was good.
Point being that you are going to discover that, as you get older, the chicks in your age cohort who are still single will be increasingly unstable, bitter, weird, more than a little hateful, not all that cute, and will nag your ass like the wicked witch of the west herself.
And that’s because all the stable, sweet, normal, loving, pretty, supportive, nice girls, from the good families, are now married and are pushing out progeny for some lucky [but smart] motherfucker who is NOT you.
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‘And in all honesty, if you’re pushing 30, then it might already be too late to find a nice girl from a good family in your age cohort ‘
What are the parameters on cohort? Like, 2 years plus or minus?
Anyway, the sweet spot to grab a woman is when she’s 20-24. If you’re nearing 30, that’s around a 5-7 year age difference probably…not bad at all.
[CH: ZS had a lapse of judgment in that statement. A 30-something man who isn’t a total loser or genetic reject can easily find a “nice girl” from a “good family” in his age cohort and well into much younger age cohorts.]
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> “What are the parameters on cohort? Like, 2 years plus or minus?”
I’d say up to about three years younger than you.
In high school, when I was a senior, I had no problem dating the girls who were juniors. But the high school sophomores felt a little too young for me.
And in college, by the time I was a senior, the freshman girls seemed just a little too young.
But as long as the two of you are in the same four-year cohort [she a freshman, you a senior], then you’ve got some commonality of experience.
So if you’re 30, then a chick who’s 27 would have been a freshman when you were a senior.
> “CH: A 30-something man who isn’t a total loser or genetic reject can easily find a “nice girl” from a “good family” in his age cohort and well into much younger age cohorts.”
Heartiste, we’re in complete agreement here – there’s no question but that dudes with Game, who keep themselves in good shape physically, can totally hit on chicks 10, 15, or 20 years younger.
What I am saying is that the day is going to come when you realize that the remaining single chicks of your age cohort [who are still NOT married] are well on their way to becoming spinsters precisely because they’ve got some pretty serious personality problems going on – too bitchy, too bipolar, too schizo, too alcoholic, too spendaholic, too austere, too tyrannical, too ugly, too fat, too hateful, too obsessive-compulsive, too whatever.
And it’s going to dawn on you that if you want a family, then you are going to have to start dating MUCH younger chicks – precisely because all of the best chicks of your age cohort have long since been snagged by other guys.
And then you’re gonna go through this wistful melancholic reflective period, when you think back to all the beautiful girls whom you knew, in high school and college and graduate school, and you’ll realize that now they’re getting old and barren and have husbands and ex-husbands and kids and maybe even a precocious child giving them a grandchild [when they’re in their late thirties or early forties].
And you get this sense of all these once beautiful women just fading into oblivion and lingering on as mere ghosts in your memories and in your dreams at night.
Anyway, I maintain that there is a certain amount of psychological preparation which is needed in order to “divorce” yourself from your own generation, and to start heading “south” into the younger generations.
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Lol huh? When I’m 30, I will be looking at girls 20-25. Only when I reach 35, will I consider girls older than 25.
‘And it’s going to dawn on you that if you want a family, then you are going to have to start dating MUCH younger chicks – precisely because all of the best chicks of your age cohort have long since been snagged by other guys.’
What is the downside to this? Nothing seems wrong with keeping myself eternally young by keeping pristine puss on tap.
‘Anyway, I maintain that there is a certain amount of psychological preparation which is needed in order to “divorce” yourself from your own generation, and to start heading “south” into the younger generations.’
Disagree. Women really do not seem to mature much after around 20. I know 30-something women SAY that they are experienced, etc. etc. but as someone who has dealt with them (well one)…there was NO difference in ‘maturity level’ or ’emotional connection’
That’s just a myth, as far as I can tell.
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Arbiter,
I didn’t realize you were into fortune telling. What a lovely development. Perhaps you are finally getting in touch with your feminine side?
Amy will love, love, love this!
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Spoken like someone with no kids
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Oh, you’ll have plenty of regrets, at 50. But I wouldn’t make not having children one of them. They are an obligation that is liberating, and a joy who enlivens the quieter days that may characterize your maturity. But get a pre-nup that covers custody as well as money.
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” But get a pre-nup that covers custody as well as money.”
Unless the woman gives up custody at birth, and never participates in child care, good luck getting such an agreement to stand up later, if you split up and she changes her mind.
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It’s a start; as you note pre-nups are being broken all the time. But the choice is between children or no children, and the first choice will impose risk. The risk is real but not absolute.
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A bit older than you, I had done all those things — had fast cars, had all the educational experiences anyone would want, traveled — and decided that life didn’t have a lot more meaning without kids.
My biological side spoke up and wanted to procreate.
You can always hop on later, not so much for women.
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Well, not that anyone without kids will understand, but my best advice is to have ’em…
I have four, and their formative years were the best times of my life… filled with joys that still bring a tear of reminiscence to me eye.
I’m now in those “in-between” years, waiting for grandbabies to fill the house…
So, in the meantime, corralling you boys is the only drollery I have.
lzlozozozlzlzozlzlzlzozozlzlzl
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Dude no way. I definitely want children. How will they take too much out of your life? The woman will mostly take care of the kids.
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Grow into the superior man and bang marrieds.
The broads love love love it, you will know you have reproduced after so many “good girl” moms strip off that wedding ring first and then the condom and beg you to blow inside em so their farm animal can pay for your kid, and no hassle/divorce theft.
Also, It drives the white knight religious brigade nuts so that’s a plus.
This is the age of the cuckold.
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Melancholy overtook me upon reading this; it’s quite a deviation from the typical styling of ole CH, though the category is a familiar one. Good read.
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Yep this is A+ CH.
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@YaReally
FR for my tuesday night. Any quick comments?
– didn’t feel like going out, listen to jeffy
– redhead at pub5
– stage — initial trio of katy and hottie from syracuse
– casey blonde from chi
– jennifer street blonde
– “can we fuck” girl
I didn’t really feel like going out on a Tuesday night. A new friend, Cam, from out of town who talked a big game wanted to go out. He brought along another guy I didn’t know, Pete, but seemed pretty cool. Pete said he had a girlfriend and would thus be a good wingman. lol. Watched this jeffy video about dealing with resistance and went out anyway: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fgu0noyhWTA
Met up with the guys at a little bar just off the main strip. Totally dead and smelled like farts. They were sitting across the bar from the one attractive girl in the bar, a fake redhead doodling on her phone and talking to the bartender occasionally. Cam is talking about the girl, studiously avoiding eye contact. I walk around the bar and ask about her hair. She bites, I pull up a seat. Ask her what she does, she’s some sort of doctor—but when I ask what kind she demurs. I think i missed some context here. I bullshit about giving kids stickers and suckers after sticking a needle in them. The bartender comes over and starts talking—clearly a boyfriendy vibe but never explicitly says anything or tries to tool me. Just makes it impossible (in my head) to get sexual or kino. She says something subtle to blow me off and I leave.
We bounce down the street to one of the main “local” bars in a touristy district. Sausage fest of old men. There’s 3 girls, two are ok and 1 is hott. Roll up to one of the less cute ones and start bullshitting. Just find out their situation. One’s from town and the other two are visiting from rural new england. Very into country music. Eugh. When Cam comes in I introduce him to the girl I’m talking to and go switch to the hot girl. Talk, find out her situation. I find out she’s in town for another 4 days so I go for her number. She mis-enters it while I tell her a story about liquor. This part was unfortunate as it felt pretty choppy and a lot of broken eye contact. No real kino even 2-3 minutes into the interaction. I ask for her number again, and she fucks up in the phone interface again (note to self, get an iphone). Eventually hottie or the 3rd girl, don’t remember which, gives the girl signal for “I want to leave”. I tried to throw a little conversation to the 3rd girl, but it was hard to involve both. They peace.
Roll over and hit up another girl, a 30 y/o looking pretty blonde. Opening is pretty choppy and she is a little freaked. I take a really explicit step back and just keep talking, and she keeps interacting. Find out where her and girlfriend are from and start bullshitting. A bunch of middle aged guys come up from behind and open blonde and her girlfriend. She responds really badly and icily and is freaking out when she looks back at me. I make a joke about it being a shark tank in here and offer her an electric cattle prod to keep the guys away. She relaxes Try to introduce my buddy at this point to the other girl—that’s a bit choppy. He stops talking to her within 30 sec, and I’m pretty much only focusing on my blonde. She asks me if I’m on drugs or drunk (no). Verbal stuff is good and she’s comfortable with me being right up in her grill, but no real kino. I tell her to come with me to the bar to get another drink, and she doesn’t come with. I didn’t feel comfortable grabbing her hand to pull her with me. I also didn’t have a good handle on how to deal with the friend if my buddies weren’t occupying her.
Those were basically all the hot girls there. We left and walked down the street. Cam said he liked the look of a girl in a yellow shirt, 15 feet away, in a group of 3 early 30 something chicks. Walk over, “my friend really loves your look, but I want to see if you’re the right kind of girl for him” We talk for 20 seconds. Cam walks up with Pete, I introduce them. Switch to the other hot blonde in the group—she’s probably the hottest and was a 9 in her prime. No ring. Start bullshitting. Good start, push for her number and she says “I’m too old for you.” Honestly should of said something like “i bet you can keep up”—instead i looked her up and down “*shrug* you go to the gym”. Qualified her a little bit on her cooking skills. We start to riff on threesomes, and it was a good start to sexualizing things. We talked about threesomes in the abstract and retrospectively I should have made it personal: “have you ever had a threesome?” She says something about “nice meeting you”. I get pissed and tell her how I hate that. That I’m a creep and I want molest her so she tells me to fuck off. I pull her arm up around my shoulder and put my other hand around her waist. She pulls back. I do it again and she pulls back again. She says that I’m definitely not a creep. I tell her to come with us to the next bar we’re bouncing to. “No I can’t have work tomorrow.” “I have to be up early.” Push for number, “I can’t.” Blah blah.
There were a couple other sets that could have been awesome, but I bounced too quick when they just needed persistence.
—-
I’m getting to the point where I can hook sets pretty fucking well, and keep them going. Cam talked a huge game but couldn’t keep up conversations or even open them. Derp, and I’m the one with a bunch of approach anxiety!
I want to better at being able to pull girls over to my friends, but I usually can’t get enough investment to get them to move quickly. That or I’m focusing on one girl and I don’t have enough rapport with the group to make a move happen.
I’m having a lot of trouble getting numbers. It’s frustrating being enough of a threat that I don’t get a pity phone number, but they’re not invested enough to give me one with real enthusiasm either.
Longer sets and getting kino started faster are all things to focus on.
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@Lumpy
“I’m having a lot of trouble getting numbers. It’s frustrating being enough of a threat that I don’t get a pity phone number, but they’re not invested enough to give me one with real enthusiasm either.”
lol this is a bitch of a limbo to get stuck in but we all did. It’s funny cause when you’re legit new girls will be nicer to you because they’re like “awwe look at the social retard trying, that’s so cute, sure you can have my number I’ll never answer little social retard boy! Awwwe!!” lol
Now you’re at that point where like you say, you’re not low value but you’re not high enough value basically.
Your style of game seems fairly low energy and chill…shoot the shit type stuff, right? My phone is glitching like a bitch so I can’t load another page right now but search my archives for keywords “Liam” and “gambler” and watch Gambler’s section where he’s demonstrating eye contact and cutting space etc on the girl (my post should have time stamps for it listed) and then watch the entire Liam video. This laser eye shit is fucking killer for the “shoot the shit” type guys. It adds a ton of sexual tension…better than kino etc.
The other option (or something to work on as well) is directing your conversation better. It sounds like you’re mostly just riffing and then going for the close. Gotta build a deeper connection, find out her hopes and dreams and all that shit VS surface level convo about stuff. Like they might think you’re cool/social, but they aren’t enthralled by you and demanding you take their number etc. Julien from RSD talks in a lot of his videos about being polarizing and taking her on a “full range of emotions” etc. you might be able to pick some ideas that work with your style from his stuff.
Like you may simply be “cool” but not “sexworthy”. Like their emotions are good around you, but it’s a plateaud good that turns into a flatlined white noise of ——- VS being more polarizing and causing a little drama and putting her on her heels qualifying herself etc or even hating you at points, to where she’s feeling “a full range of emotions” as Julien puts it so it looks more like __/\/\/—\/ instead of the flatline you know?
Try transcribing your exact convos best as you can remmeber and I can point out “this is where I would have gone into something like bla bla” and “here I would ask such and such”
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Here one can drop all mail attn: yareally c/o CH. It’s the most interesting PO box I’ve ever seen.
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@Lumpy.
Here is the Richard La Ruina/Gambler video Ya was referring too, it’s Good stuff:
-IG
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0:45 : You can tell that chick on stage is quite turned on by him, by about 40:00. She can’t keep her legs still.
1:11 : he’s got no problem being in friendzone, because he has no problem getting out of it. But it’s the one-up friendzone (he’s talking sexually in front of her, being very comfortable with her, etc.) not the one-down friendzone (she says “let’s just be friends”)
This is just a couple places I randomly checked, I didn’t watch the whole thing.
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My memory is terrible, but I’ll get you more exact convos. 😛
Your style of game seems fairly low energy and chill…shoot the shit type stuff, right?
Yup. I’m pretty introspective and quiet even though I can force myself to get out and talk to people pretty good. High energy game comes across as incongruent and vaguely psychotic. I’d like to get laid while addressing my personal bs, though. 🙂
Thanks for suggestions on liam and gambler. Will give that shit a try in terms of being more polarizing.
Any suggestions on finding out “hopes and dreams”? Fuck, I don’t even know my friends hopes and dreams.
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Here are my suggestions.
High energy substitute: If it’s not congruent try entering the conversation with commanding body language and a hard, disarming statement that’s a little cheeky. “You look like a fun lay.” The content is bold so you don’t need to be. Then you can transition to the hi my name is lumpy spiel so that the conversation normalizes and you aren’t viewed as a psycho. I would get the number and bounce, then revisit your boldness theme again through text…hey it’s lumpy, you really do look like a good lay.
Touching: I think gambler is outdated because all guys think they are supposed to do kino. You end up with a bunch of guys with no game putting their hands on girls expecting that they’ll get them wet from a little touch. You are gonna creep out a girl if you touch her and you don’t have a vibe. You actually don’t need to initiate contact at all. Strong verbal game will get the girl reaching out to you for touch, which you can then escalate.
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Or stop going to bars overloaded with men and find some places where there are lots of normal (as normal as they can be) girls, like a yoga class.
Why fight the ratio? Then even if you win, some other poor guy’s evening is even worse.
I mean if it’s fun, sure do it, but why try to get girls where there are hardly any girls?
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Field Report…
Had a drinks meet up with a model who canceled with a long apologetic text, saying she was sick. To fill the void in my schedule, I decided to go out to a high end nightclub, solo. I’m really starting to appreciate solo pick up, which I feel is more natural. Rolling solo forces you to get in the game and not cave to a buddy who might want to fall back. You don’t play by your friends’ logistical rules, or let their insecurities about approaching drag your game down.
Start off the night saying hello to a 6.5 I’ve met before. Make friends with a guy who is hosting a party for bunch of 6s. A little banter with his 6s, they’re being flirtatious. Bottle service girl comes up to me and randomly asks me if I like the music, we start chatting, I turn the conversation sexual. She’s a sexy girl, statuesque, model material.
At some point I return to the 6s, and try to start conversation with one. She actually turns her back on me lol. I think a couple years ago this would have been a drag on my ego and I would have tried to reopen, but my frame is just, wow, this chick is not that hot and is acting super weird and socially inept. Her friend, who didn’t see the interaction, actually notices me grabbing a drink next to her, and draws her friend’s attention to me. I just tell her I’m not interested, her friend is acting weird. She shames her friend for acting this way and apologizes to me.
Not so pleased with the quality of girls I’ve met up to this point, so decide to direct approach the hottest girls I see in the club. There are a pair of 8s sitting in a booth. Strong opener, then hi I’m Darkhorse. Decent conversation. Find out they’re runway models. Promoter comes in and mate guards, whispers something in girl’s ear, she turns ice cold on me lol. Understand that in a nightclub setting with promoters, women are currency, and if you’re going to walk right into a vault and try to take that currency away, there’s a high probability you will get mate guarded hard. So if you confidently walk up to the girls at a promoter’s table, there is a good chance the promoter will think you’re a competing promoter trying to steal his girls. Anyway, conversation goes from really solid to ice cold in a matter of seconds. I give them my card, they’re not so interested in giving up cell numbers. Didn’t press, just walked away. Old Darkhorse would have tried to sell himself or justify why they should give the number. It kind of sucked losing rapport so fast on the models, but I view at as their loss. Mind state for the rest of the night is not to let their weirdness effect me. In hindsight, I probably should have called a time out in our interaction and introduced myself to the promoter so he didn’t see me as a threat.
Leave the table, see an 8 and hard, hard 9 walk by. Hard, playfully sexual opener on the 9, then hi I’m Darkorse. Little small talk, the girls are digging the vibe and we’re connecting. 9 tells me she lives in X, I tell her there’s a girl I sleep whose the gf of a pro athlete, also lives in X. She likes the drama (maybe it’s my girlfriend back home!) and tells 8. It’s clear she like that 9 respects me, so there’s a turning point where they realize “this guy is high value”; 8 is starts initiating touch, making herself available. Lol moment happens, when I realize these girls are from the same table. Same promoter attempts to mate guard again! These girls are more independent though (and hotter too, lol), and aren’t having it. On a side note, I think rolling solo is great for handling two-sets where the girls are 8+. If your game is tight, the women will start to wonder which girl you want, and may proactively “fight” over you. (This won’t happen where there’s a huge discrepancy in SMV between girls, like with a 6 and 8 pair. The 6 will try to sabotage. So don’t go for uneven SMV pairs if you are solo.) We move to the bar, I get their numbers. I google Miss 9, turns out she’s a famous fitness model. Her online pics and vids are so hot, makes me laugh a little that her phone number is in my cell. I’m sure a lot of celebs have banged her out lol. I’d text her, but frankly 8 seems more ready to have a connection and these girls live together.
After getting the numbers, I realize 6.5 has been watching my whole interaction with these girls. Moments after I leave the girls, 6.5 and the bottle service girl start gyrating around me, having a little dance off. (Bottle service girl is legit, btw, I just can’t approach for a reason I can’t disclose.) Have a little grind with 6.5 just for fun, and then tell her I’m leaving. I’m into 8+ girls. Go home and fuck my primary.
Key points:
– Go out solo. Allows for the most freedom.
– Open everywhere, at the bar, in the middle of the dance floor, when they’re among friends. Don’t wait for her to be available for you.
– Be a social guy, even with the 6s. It warms you up for the 9s.
– Good vibes with hot girls builds turbo-powered social momentum, especially if you’re one guy with multiple hot girls. Huge social proof.
– In nightclub setting, promoters have a lot of influence. They can shut you down. Be proactively friendly with their.
– If a girl loses interest, don’t justify yourself or plead. Get over it and meet someone better.
– Don’t be afraid to talk about the sex you’re currently having, especially if it’s a dramatic or funny scenario.
– Even girls with lower relative SMV can act super weird or antisocial. 1) Don’t let it affect you, and 2) don’t try to continue the approach as a way to avoid ego pain. Let it go and find someone else. Somewhere in the world there’s a 2 who get’s disgusted by the thought of fucking Brad Pitt.
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Ya’ got heart, Ch. Ya’ got heart.
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pfft…you want extreme disqualification game?: try keeping a framed photo of your girlfriend on your nightstand while you fuck the new girl lol
I actually learned a LOT from that period.
Personally I like her to know 100% that there’s no chance of me bein her boyfriend/provider. Most girls are actually cool with it as long as you act like it’s normal and you’re up front about your intent and boundaries. Like the Joker says “nobody panics when things go “according to plan”, even if the plan is horrifying.”
Straight from the horses mouth actually, a recent favorite fuckbuddy of mine was bitching about men the other day and she said “this other guy, I can’t tell what he wants. With you it was easy cause you told me right when we met that you’re not going to take me to dinner and you just want to fuck, so I know what “this” is. With this other guy he takes me out on dates but then gets mad that I haven’t put out yet and it’s like do you want a girlfriend or just sex or what, I’m cool with either but just make up your mind!! It’s so frustrating.”
By doing some massive extreme disqualification, the girl knows to only expect sex from me and I avoid a LOT of drama and tears and nagging and headaches lol. I don’t like to leave any hope that they can win me over because then they TRY to and that goes down an annoying path (and can end the relationship sooner when she busts out The Ultimatum).
I like to drop stuff like “I’m dead inside” or use Ryan Reynolds like in Just Friends: “why are you like this?” “some chick eff’ed me up REAL bad.” Lol
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The dead inside thing is kind of thing is what I use. To me it’s a combination of vulnerability and disqualification game. I feel like I’m a lead in a movie when I play that persona. I actually got the whole idea from an r&b singer, a guy who can fuck any girl he wants but is still caught up the one he had before becoming famous.
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Hank Moody from Californication is a good example too. He’s got his “the one” and the girls he meets all know he’s “taken” even if he’s single. The way it pans out for him (the girls accepting that all they’ll get from him is sex, but still being interested) is actually pretty close to how it plays out in real life. In a way the girls often envy the girl he “belongs to” and find it romantic/sexy and wish they could be her for him or some guy some day down the road.
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Weeknd?
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Not quite. The weeknd’s story is more like ” I want to love you, but you’re a whore like the rest of them, so come here and I’ll fuck you good just for the night”
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You’re right, but that does come from a – I’m dead inside because “the one” is unattainable so I’m incapable of even emulating love.
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Speaking of that, I have had “fuck buddies” though we never really said it explicitly. But in the long run it was always an unstable arrangement. One girl I was seeing for a while developed feelings for me, and she was very clingy about it. Because she had only been in one relationship, a long one, and didn’t know anything about game. Another girl got angry at me, even though she knew from the beginning that we wouldn’t be together, as she was too young for me. Other times, things have just fizzled eventually. The longest I maintained a fuck-buddy arrangement was around half a year, and most of these times it felt perfectly all right when it was over. In some cases it felt like a relief.
The media love to talk about “friends with benefits” and include them in movies and TV shows, where those involved are either oh-so-casual about it or they eventually fall in love. But I suspect that in most cases in real life it doesn’t last long. Kind of like how infidelity in real life is usually much less dramatic than the media make it out to be: like most relationships, the fling on the side usually also just fizzles eventually.
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All you can do is be honest at the outset (which it sounds like you are). You probably think that’s pointless since girls tend to fool themselves that the guy will change his mind, but believe me, the girls that are awake to reality and want to steer clear of these arrangements really appreciate the honesty.
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ya casual fuckbuddies tend to last about 3 months to a year. Anything past that is an anomally.
Eventually she catches feelings and delivers The Ultimatum (“I can’t do this anymore if we aren’t going to be in a real relationship, it hurts too much because I like you :(“) and you either lose her or date her as an LTR. You can stall The Ultimatum by following rules like not seeing her more than once every week or two, not doing relationshippy shit, etc.
Or her goals change and while just sex was enough when you met, she wants a steady Borefriend and finds one and stops calling (till it fizzles out or she misses the sex and you get a “hey” txt at 2am after 8 months of radio silence).
But the time you have together can be awesome, improve both your lives, leave a bunch of great memories, and end on good terms where you may bang again down the road when your ships pass eachother again. The media bullshits that fuckbuddies either turn into perfect relationships (they CAN tho lol) or they’re shallow empty hookups where someone is being used and gets hurt by the other and it ends horribly.
It’s all pretty much bullshit to keep us on the marriage wife 2.5 kids white Pickett fence cubicle job you hate till you retire at 60 and die from a heart attack at 61 path that keeps society running.
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That’s fine if you don’t want kids. The women actually do, and healthy ones will kick you out before they get old waiting for you. I guess this is sort of mutually consensual, after all the girls require a non-needy approach so they are really demanding to be used like this.
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I discuss kids etc with them. Not many chick under 28 want kids these days cause they’ve been brought up to believe they have big career goals and travelling adventures to achieve first because they have no idea the walk will have hit them when they decide to have kids. Thanks feminism lol
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Lol…framed photo. Reminds me of the time I had a girl in bed notice a gift bag that was lying around. It was my at the time girlfriend’s. Bag had a vibrator for my gf. The girl in the bed was shocked and bounced that night but then demanded I get with her over the ensuing days. She set up an appointment to qualify why I should be her boyfriend. It was kind of fucked to watch it play out actually.
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I have a few photos of my children up with their mother, who was a NYC model and actress, and a few others with an LTR who is Hollywood. I don’t have any solo portrait photos of any ex- alone that are visible to guests. This has presented the right frame for me — ‘a man with a past, no regrets’ — that has, on most occasions, generated an apparent (competitive) desire to be the next woman on the wall in a group picture, or better, a solo portrait. Now, that’s not why I do it; I just like the pictures and like most guys, I remember the good times not the end-times. But women will study those photos and ask the occasional question, and usually compliment them (positive pre-selection bias).
This practice also serves as an excellent filter for bad-news babes, like my second wife. She would fly into rages when any mention of my first marriage or any other relationship would make its inevitable entrance. That is the woman who kidnapped son #2. I go on red-alert whenever a woman expresses resentful jealousy of the fact that I have actually lived a life prior to meeting her.
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Last fall I had a fling who I told pretty much the same thing. Only I added that I was imagining she was my ex while we were fucking. The result from what I can remember was more interest, and more sex.
I got the whole “I’m not gonna be just a body to you” spiel. But all those convos were obviously hamster inspired considering she was blowing me afterwards haha.
Side note: never met such a hamster in the flesh, chick was practically mentally challenged by how flighty she was. Somehow she made it to university though.
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Very well written, CH. Not many people can write a story as eloquently as you do here. Credit where credit is due.
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I request a novel.
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Hey Heartiste,
Love the site. Just thought you’d like to know about a recent article by ykw Harvardian “Sandra Korn.” It’s in the Crimson and the comments are Gold.
http://www.thecrimson.com/column/the-red-line/article/2014/2/18/academic-freedom-justice/
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ultimate disqualification game:
even paul elam gettin coldblooded loozllz
we now return to your regularly scheduled sentimentality
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Good to see. The “pussy riot” filth is a left-wing extremist group, an offshoot of the communist group “Voina”, which means “War” in Russian. They vandalize and deface buildings and businesses. They used a chainsaw to cut down a wooden cross that was raised in memory to Stalin’s victims – these communist swine of course are glad that their ideological brethren murdered and raped millions in the past.
And socialist media in the West of course cover for them, by lying and saying they are a “punk band”, when they have recorded zero music, sold zero music – they were just plinking away on instruments a few times in some of their vandalizing actions. No mention whatsoever of the fact that they are a communist organization.
And what a surprise, one of the leaders is Oksana Chelysheva, who is the “Deputy Executive Director” of the Russian-Chechen Friendship Society, a strange pro-extremist outfit which is funded by the National Endowment for Democracy, NED. Chelysheva also has other extensive U.S. government ties through her leadership roles in other NED and George Soros-funded outfits like the Finnish-Russian Civic Forum and the EU-Russia Civil Society Forum. The NED, of course, receives taxpayers’ money. This is just one way Western governments fund communist organizations.
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Cue Guardian commenter indignation:
“But they were just singing! Singing in a church!“
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$20 says Pussy Riot members watch this video and diddle their collective beans.
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Where’s the discussion about the Cathedrals attempt to take down Putin and his relatively pro-male attitude?
They have Republican politicians lining up to say they’d do a more efficient job at starting a civil war in the Ukraine.
Drudge points to a pro-male article for once:
http://www.infowars.com/the-war-on-men-10-ways-masculinity-is-under-attack/
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This is how out of control women have been treated historically, only in the last 6 decades have we allowed these bitches to run wild. And yes, I agree, these Ruskie girls will remember the time they got fucking TRUNCHEONED by men with intact balls and rub it out at least a few times to this much needed beatdown.
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I started laughing when I read this. Probably not the reaction that was expected.
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+2
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That was good that you did that because now that girl will be knocked off her high horse a bit.
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Hearts, ya single now?
Wait, was that like not what this post was conveying?
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hahahhaahah
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Been lurking here for a couple of months now. I would like to offer just another perspective, and perhaps a somewhat general comment.
Grew up in Europe, have been living in N America for several years now. I must say this: Mother of God. The dating scene in N America seems more like a war scene, a front line with all the associated carnage, misery, and suffering. Here, the romantic relationships themselves are based on ego competitions, who will dominate or swindle whom, who is more dominant, etc.
It’s interesting, because people living here in N America are predominantly (still) of European stock, however the mating behaviour and dating culture can’t be more different from the dating cultures as found in Europe. I wonder why is that so?
I keep reading your posts guys but I have to say that sometimes I feel sorry for you, having to live in this Darwinist (from the romantic point of view) environment. It’s just some sort of weird mixture of 1) feeling sorry for you (due to you being forced to live in such an environment), and 2) being in awe because that very same harsh environment must have been producing incredibly well-adapted and ruthlessly efficient (again, from the romantic perspective) men.
As a conclusion, you all more or less sound like a combination of 1) a Beta craving for true love, and 2) Patrick Bateman. And while I can understand what you all write (including CH) from the intellectual point of view, it’s all still pretty weird and, I’m afraid, US-specific.
[CH: Having spent time in Europe dating the lovelies there, I doubt the veracity of your claim. Girls there, especially NW Euro girls, are just as beholden to their tingles as are American girls. Any difference in dating mechanics is one of degree, not kind.]
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That’s the tabloid version of a reality which has many of the elements you say but which you also characterize poorly and with exaggeration.
Women just do not have the fortitude to remain spinning on the carousel for more than a short period of time without irreparable centrifugal damage, despite the TMZ-like press American girls get. If anything the carousel cocklash begins a process of internal breakdown, which makes it easier to build them back up into something whole, or at least as whole as worn hole can be rehabilitated. The younger the intervention the better.
Many never go extreme pole-hopping at all, despite the ease, the dysparenting, the decadence, and the cultural anomie pressuring them to. More often they compromise and adopt serial monogamy with inadequate men their own age in a series of long-term relationships until they suffer into wisdom (previously known as common female sense). If and when they play the short-term strumpet, it leaves them raw. No matter what the fads on the margins, the female nature is always seeking stability. No matter what the PUA fantasies, girls will never be able to fuck like men, just like they can’t lift heavy objects like men.
End-times metrosexuality is the loudest part of “the dating scene,” but it certainly does not comprise the entirety of modern love in the ruins. It takes a certain kind of slut with a heart of leather to endure year after year of dick diversity, and while we may have the greatest ratios of entitled, masculinized cuntery in the world (thanks, feminism), that is just the visible dross layer floating to the top and obscuring what depth of refinement and purity there may be.
The punks around here celebrate women for having adopted the sexuality of men, and there is a reason why they promote it as ubiquitous, natural, and irreducible: easy cooze requires little to no “game,” therefore any two-bit chump can swing his little pud around and knock into some notches, thereby ostensibly demonstrating his pussy wizardry to brag about online. It’s like boasting how large your wardrobe collection is while only ever purchasing used and threadbare clothing for pennies on the dollar. What you hear about is the fruits of a thrift store shopping spree.
Whoremongers have no tools to discriminate. These spaces do not alert you to the modest, publicity-shy, recherche women who are priced out of the street-magician’s league because Full Package girls are no part of their downmarket world. They don’t believe in rare earth metals because they’ve only ever slaved away in the strip-mined gravel pits. They wouldn’t recognize a gem in the rough if it landed painfully on their crotch.
Matt
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Grew up in Europe
Uhh, yeah… sort of a big place. What CH said, I have rather vast experience with Euro bitches, mainly here, sometimes there.
UK = USA. Full stop. Spain, the Netherlands, Belgium, not far behind. Germany is spear-heading the initiative to transform Europe into Brown-town, strangely, they don’t have too much diversity themselves yet. Sweden which is technically Scandinavia is in a death spiral. They also have strong, independent, empowered womyn. Interesting how diversity and feminism seem to move together, no?
Italians still throw bananas at monkeys masquerading as Homo Sapiens, so some hope there. Anything East of Austria? MUCH different issue. They are feminine and keep themselves as such. Most women east of Austria run intellectual circles around their busted American counterparts, they are educated, well read, and hot, and will melt your cock off in bed.
Lemme quote thwack who is quoting Tarantino. “WHAT COUNTRY YOU FROM?!?”
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Lololozlolxlolzlolz
http://www.miamiherald.com/2014/02/18/3942225/hillary-clintons-new-gospel.html
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The pure, unfiltered male rawness blasted her hamster into submission.
Is this what chicks truly crave? Their painful drug that they cannot get enough of yet cannot stand to be with? That creates the ultimate in inner female drama to sate them for all time?
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I have a question. A creeper who hit on my now ex gf asked her out for her birthday as she told me “as friends”.
I immediately sussed out something weird about the whole thing because I know the guy and what a douchebag he is. I also got the sense she liked the attention. I called her out on it and distanced myself, then she broke up.
Now they’re together. He’s a beta provider shlub but he has a car and some money and her friends like him. I could see he would be a good mark for her after me because he is so malleable and the “I’m asking you out for your birthday as a friend” then taking her to a quiet Italian restaurant was odd overall.
That’s the background.
My question: I know I was right to suss out something odd and basically call her out on her cheating and next her, but….wouldn’t telling a girl you’re asking her out as friends be “low value” and putting yourself in the friendzone NOT “Disqualification game”?
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Yes, but your girlfriend was lying to you regarding the ‘just friends’ thing to mitigate suspicion.
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@Anonymous yes which only increased it and caused me to withdraw. She broke up with me 2 weeks later on some premise that “it will never work”.
I understand they are together. I actually caught her in a lie. She had been suddenly texting, calling etc to check up on me. But she’d arranged then canceled a date telling me she had big “trouble”. She didn’t reschedule and the next night went out with that guy.
That was my last contact with her 4 weeks ago. I told her to fuck off and never contact me again.
So I don’t feel sorry for the girl in this original post.
If a guy doesn’t take control he will be controlled.
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“Bourne Ultimatum” Game.
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Or:
I am just a worthless liar.
I am just an imbecile.
I will only complicate you.
Trust in me and fall as well.
I will find a center in you.
I will chew it up and leave,
I will work to elevate you
Just enough to bring you down
…
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I’ve been thinking about this a lot but I’m afraid most of this blog and others like it, and pretty much 100% of the comments, are pretty beta. Alphas have better things to do than talk about women, who generally dont deserve this much consideration or attention.
[CH: And yet you’re here, talking about women.]
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True… and I admit I have a strong beta streak that I’m trying to understand and control. I’m talking about the whole community, not myself particularly – or any other individual. Of course male-female interaction is the fundamental ingredient of all animal behavior – but I think to reduce its overall fraction of a man’s attention is to evolve and become a more balanced person. Women deserve _some_ attention, but not _too much_.
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Seems like Matt Forney has become a huge fag.
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“has become” is pretty generous
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It’s a quite familiar game played by the artist from the “Vicky Christina Barcelona’ movie
I’ve seen it a few days ago, still fresh in my memory . .
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Fantastic study, wasn’t it? If you haven’t seen it, you might enjoy Matchpoint as well.
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sure it was a great study. An everyman’s guide for …. I’m sure you gonna get it.
A weird master Woody Allen shoves us how actually ‘the game’ (somehow I don’t like that term) hasn’t changed for decades, maybe centuries.
It does not matter how modern women is emancipated nowadays.
If the master (strong man) knows how to play the strings, right cords and move gentle/hard the bow .. the violin (woman) gonna weep anyway and anyhow.
I’m not familiar with Matchpoint. Should I see it ?
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Oops, it’s called Match Point. It’s another Woody Allen movie. Both portray a stable marriage as more important than any interloper on affection. Very interesting.
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ok thanx, will check it out
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Cool! Hope you enjoy it 🙂
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Holy carp there is a novelist in there! I knew from the wordsmithing of the titles (“broads” Bogart aint got nothing for ya) and the Vulcan-like use of unnecessarily long words that there were some skills behind the curtain – but you sir, you are are an enigma wrapped in a riddle shrouded in mystery…
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This reflects the main sex differences in jealousy: a woman’s jealousy is sparked more by the idea of emotional infidelity, which is close enough to being in love with an ex, whereas men get more jealous by sexual infidelity.
So, girls don’t care as viscerally about how many flings you’ve had, but if you’ve been harboring a broken heart over an ex, that’s a hard blow to their jealousy/emotion centres. The post here shows one way to use this to our advantage; it’s dynamite though, gotta be careful.
My current fling is a former club-rat and whore (20 cocks, 3 relationships, she’s 23). The sex is epic. Still, I’ll be dropping her as soon as I lock in a hotter chick. Her cock splattered past disgusts me when I dwell upon it, which isn’t often. She doesn’t get jealous at all by my own past (30+), but she does get jealous of a female friend of mine who I know for years who’s always been a bit in love with me. Hmmmm.
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Pro tip time:
An ankle bracelet is a good tool for cutting dates short and forcing girls back to your place.
Just remember, you are “turning your life around” and she has a key role in your success or failure.
[CH: You’re joshing, but I’d bet an ankle bracelet prop would get a man laid more often than not.]
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True story. One of my old roommates was under house arrest for about 2 months. He was allowed to go to work and to law school night classes, but otherwise couldn’t leave the house. A few weeks prior to getting the ankle bracelet on he started re-gaming a girl he had pumped and dumped a few months ago. She would come over to bang/watch movies/etc. This went on for the duration of the house arrest. The day before he was scheduled to get the bracelet off he told her he didn’t want to see her anymore b/c “school was getting really serious” and she didn’t take it well. About a month later he texted her for a drunken booty call and she replied “lose my number asshole”.
House Arrest Game baby
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I always end up falling into LTRs where the girl is head over heels and I’ve never been able to do this extreme disqualification thing. Maybe I don’t have the balls but I really just am not out to hurt anybody’s feelings.
Thing is, the girl will eventually lose interest and walk, leaving me butthurt and beta, lol. Guess I need to change up my “game”.
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The OP story above is an attempt to recharacterize a maudlin confession into a deliberate alpha move. It indicates a failure to invest wisely and deliberately. This is what happens when a player play-acts through the motions of a relationship in the attempt to stay aloof: periodic crashes and burns, loss of discipline, beta backsliding. It is too emotionally taxing to keep up the pose. The rigid tree snaps in the wind, when the goal should be bend, don’t break.
And it isn’t just a feature of long-term relationships. It happens biologically — most acutely in women, but men are not immune — every time a new level of intimacy is experienced, no matter what gruff disaffectation a man-whore adopts to compensate for his own unintended attachments. Both parties are invested whether they wanted it or not, whether they acknowledge it or not, and divesting is a more violent procedure than a player cares to admit. This also explains why they idolize psychopaths, whom they believe are immune from this otherwise inescapable bonding.
You are not “butthurt and beta,” you are normal. What’s abnormal is the idea that a clean sexual dynamic can be achieved while preserving total indifference — the steak-sizzle the PUAs sell in order to move ground chuck.
Now, CH isn’t going to spell it out for you this way; he has a reputation to uphold. But at least he is merciful enough to communicate these crucial caveats to the player lifestyle in parable form. It doesn’t even matter if he is unaware of his mercy. Heed the caution.
Matt
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In contrast, I practice extreme QUALIFICATION game…
Anyone care to guess what that is?
……
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Perhaps rape?!
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Ding ding ding! You win a virgin non-mudshark who’s in shape and knows how to cook.
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I’m not sure why this works but it does.
Girl I’m seeing right now has asked me occasionally what happened with the ex that I broke up with. I hadn’t said much but after a few words about it and some pained and wistful looks she responded with things like “It sounds like you did all you could” and “I think you’re pretty great”. And then texts me the next day with “Thanks for sharing with me last night. I know that wasn’t easy, but I appreciated it.”
She is predictably hooked on me.
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Off-topic, but interesting, and an idea for CH to kick around.
Most of you by now know about the fighting and blood in the streets going on in Ukraine. However, something similar is going on in both Venezuela and Thailand.
All three have governments that were democratically elected, in legitimate elections. In this day and age, dumb-mock-crazy is supposed to be the balm that cures all ails. Of course, many of us now know it’s just a mandate for whatever gang that gets elected to loot the country as much as possible for the benefit of that gang and whoever funds them and supports them.
What else do these three countries have in common?
Some of the hottest women on the planet.
I do not think it’s a coincidence that such rage against democratically-elected corruption is happening in these countries. Think about it: if you are regularly making love to a beautiful woman, don’t you feel like you can take on the world? Now multiply that by an entire country’s men.
Conversely, here in the Anglosphere, where bitchy fat chicks are as common as dirt, the men are more likely to moan like the Vogons at the end of the Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy movie: “(moooaaan)… what’s the point?”
The best example, of course, is Ireland after the banking collapse. Nary a peep was heard. They voted out their government, but the next government continued bailing out the bankers, and that was the end of it. But of course, we have the same sort of thing going on here in the USA with 0bama’s mismanagement of the economy. Same deal.
And I’ll open the floor to discussion.
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This is a brilliant point. CH should do a post on it.
The Ukrainian protesters are not lacking in support from hot chicks, something that American Tea Party protesters wouldn’t have as much of.
That’s why we won’t get needed regime change in the US
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the first paragraphs are so beautifully written, bravo. my best post from you.
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This can also be used to “prime the pump” during a dry spell or if you want a high value female and/or are usually a little down on yourself. I was just with a female similar to the one in CH’s story the other day.
What you do is look happily wistful at an opportune moment and when questioned say that you are thinking about someone. When she presses for details and she will you must be able to call up a description of your current or former that gives the impression of how much you are or were into her. What I do if I have had an average run of FB’s is to recall one from the past usually an LTR that I was very connected to. It is an old salesman trick. If it was real to you it will be more convincing. The time-line lie will not affect your psyche as emotional memories do not get old. Aside: this is why PTSD is a bitch for those of us that have it. Only cure is to discipline yourself to not access the memory file and shut it down if you do due to some trigger.
Back to work: Some may criticize in two ways. It sounds pathetic as you sound like a beta pining for a lost love. It only sounds that way if you say it. What you are describing how great the connection was, her beauty, things that show how you rated a great female. Girls will never ask why it ended unless they are into you; it’s complicated. Some of the more sociopathic amongst us can spin this from vignettes of different people, literature and our imagination and act like it is real. Try it with a random chick who likes or is at least nice to you. I did this to a cute bartender at my club and got her. I said that I would love to compare notes on the lovers who moved us. Told her that I wanted to hear her story and then told her my happy ones. Don’t be afraid to paint a visual picture or describe how she sounded. Girls love imagery. I literally walked outside with her, told her that I had never shared like that and kissed. The rest fell into place. The other criticism is that you are saying that you are in a relationship, yes. Females love to compete for attention. I have literally told girls that I am in an LTR and ten minutes later telling them when I am picking them up for some activity. Slut test: the ones that say that they do not want to get involved with an attached man are asking you to escalate. It is thus your action, not theirs. Ones that want to know that your current relationship is over are at a point where they want to settle down. I played one of these for four years, best oral I ever had. Someone else can be last in line.
Yesterday’s activity, I am networking and the female is very pretty and successful. I am bullshitting so much that I almost forget what truth is. Since I am evasive about a part of my life that I would rather forget, it gives an air of mystery. Thus, she needs something to connect with me and the drum-roll starts in my head. Here it comes, personal life, “Do you have someone special?” I expected, “married?” When a girl avoids marriage questions and does it this way her subconscious is looking for an opening that you are available. Marriage is too final for someone that she knows respectably. Someone special gives options. Remember this is hamster land not Vulcan. So I tell all about my LTR and the truth is this LTR was her equal in the biz world. I paint a picture even give her name, describe our connection. My interviewer’s knees are rubbing together. This could be profitable and/or fun.
Try this with any female that you are already talking to. It works so often and even gets referrals to her friends. It could really jump start your game.
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Disqualifying with a woman who already loves you is sadistic overkill.
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