The post subject says it all. A reader asks,
Read your site regularly. Thanks for the time and effort.
Interested in your thoughts: I’ve got a recent girlfriend- good looking, moneyed background, sweet girl but lots of confidence. She is, however, outright jealous- or at least catty- about an ex of mine who she has found notes from and a couple pictures of us together.
She recently lost her phone and asked to temporarily borrow my old one. While sanitizing it I found found a few nudes my ex sent me. She looks good. Do I leave them and stoke the flames further? Or leave it to simmer? Opportunity or foolishness?
A girlfriend who is excessively jealous of an ex-girlfriend of comparable SMV is projecting a desire to have a boyfriend who is adept at attracting other women. The catty jealousy is manufactured drama that she indulges because it serves the purpose of making her more attracted to you. You may consider this flattery… or a warning sign of troubles ahead.
If your ex is hotter than your current girlfriend (be honest with yourself), the jealousy is nothing less than raw insecurity. Women know, despite their socially acceptable protestations to the contrary, what really matters to men. A hotter ex-girlfriend translates as a greater risk of you trading up in the near future.
My answer is partly dependent on which of the two contexts above is relevant to you. If you get the sense that your girlfriend is very much in love and her jealousy is revealed insecurity, the smart move is to delete the photos so she doesn’t see them and melt into a puddle of manic self-doubt. (The smarter move is to not let her borrow your phone so that you may keep the photos for your old age when the nostalgic masturbation material will come in HANDY.)
But if she seems like the drama-prone type (INFIDELITY ALERT) and her jealousy strikes you as deliberately hyperbolic, you may want your girlfriend to “accidentally” come across those nude photos of your ex as a means of assuring she stays in your orbit. A drama queen needs these occasional reminders of your surfeit of sexual market options. Keep the ho on her toes.
Keep ’em, then challenge the ho to surpass them.
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What’s the state of the art for recovering deleted [& purged] files from a flash drive?
Is there anyone who claims to be able to do this [the way you can with a classical magnetic-platter hard drive]?
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No idea. Should be interesting to see if someone here does know.
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I can, it’s easy.
Unless a full format or overwrite occurs, the card can be [dumped and] content analyzed. In the GNU (and UNIX) world, this is easily accomplished with dd if=/dev/sdb1 of=/tmp/card_dump. You may need to attach the image to a loop device using losetup /dev/loop0 /tmp/card_dump, then simply use a utility such as testdisk on /dev/loop0 (or possibly on card_dump itself, in which case skip using losetup).
Technically testdisk can be used directly on the card, but I’ve always believed in working on bitwise images of the original as an absolute means of data loss-prevention and sanity.
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For permanent, unrecoverable erasure of a drive, the following command (assuming the disk device is attached at /dev/sdb) should do the trick:
dd if=/dev/urandom of=/dev/sdb bs=1M
If you want progress of the erasure, use this instead (assuming no backgrounded jobs in your shell session):
dd if=/dev/urandom of=/dev/sdb bs=1M & test 0; while [ $? -eq 0 ]; do sleep 10; kill -USR1 %1; done
If you want paranoid impossible to recover even with direct forensic inspection of the HDD platters themselves erasure, repeat one of the above commands multiple times.
Optionally, when finished, running this will make the drive all zeros and not look like a jumbled mess of random:
dd if=/dev/zero of=/dev/sdb bs=1m
Add everything after the & in the second command reference above to the previous command for progress updates.
The drive will be in an unpartitioned state. Partition with fdisk or parted, and create a filesystem of your choice on your created partition using mkfs. For an encrypted filesystem, consider cryptsetup before running your file system formatter. Remember to run the formatter (assuming you name your cryptographic device crypt_disk) on /dev/mapper/crypt_disk. Windows can’t read luks/cryptsetup devices without a 3rd party program, but as long as you’ve sworn off Micro$hit it won’t matter (which you should if you care about security).
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+1 to Heywood’s comment.
Regardless of if you let her find them or not, you should keep them on a separate device for your own pleasure, as CH states. Never delete a good nude. (If you date fatties/uggos who send you nudes, PLEASE DELETE THEM.)
To further Heywood’s idea, if she confronts you, tell her, “You should see the OTHER stuff she sent me…” That unstated possibility… you have a good chance of getting a competition going with her worst imagination, regardless of what the ex actually sent.
Especially if you have the good sense to drop hints about what you like to see (ie, sexy classy pinup nudes, mirror shots… predator shots*.)
*http://bash.org/?241250
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Both you and Heywood either live in a completely false reality of your own creation, or routinely date extraordinarily ugly women.
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Bu77h3><3d much?
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“The smarter move is to not let her borrow your phone so that you may keep the photos for your old age ”
An even smarter move is to give her the phone and put the pictures somewhere else.
wtf?
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Exactly. And cellphones can easily be hacked, for those who didn’t know.
On the topic of jealosy: “The catty jealousy is manufactured drama that she indulges because it serves the purpose of making her more attracted to you.”
Is it manufactured? Isn’t it a very real thing, that women are jealous of other women who are the objects of their man’s desire? A woman wants a man for herself: his company, his protection, his resources. No reason to find more complicated arguments for why she would be upset.
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My advice: leave the ipcs on, regardless. Then, if/when she confronts you about them, apply massive lashes of reproach, eg: “I lend you my old phone to help you out, and you end up snooping where you shouldn’t? Nice way to repay a favor. But thanks; I’d forgotten all about those pics until you reminded me of them.”
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That last line will be good. My only suggestion is he should email those pictures to himself and save them prior to giving her the phone.
She will expect him to delete them and when he puts up no fight to keep them (“Sure, I don’t care…”), her hamster will be nuked.
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Trump card, bitches!
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As a retired airline captain, the photos I saved of some of the hottest girls I experienced from around the world are nice to view on occasion. Reminders that life was, and is good. Don’t let a woman touch those photos, unless you have copies. Redundancy is always a good thing.
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Yeah, I’d make archive copies and let the cards fall where they may. If she snoops, she deserves to find them.
And give her a shrug in reply to her whining.
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They love love a “well traveled man” and a little reminder of your options is a good thing. Archived copies are a given.
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Redundancy is a good thing, though unless she’s a media-whore a simple deletion can be overcome with GNU tools.
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CH offers expert advice upon which I’d like to add a small comment: Having been in a similar situation, I’d also take into account the ages of the current gf and the ex-gf. If the current gf is older (even by a few years), my experience is that she will flip out about the younger (and potentially cuter) ex gf. If the current gf is not someone you’re going to keep around longer than a few months, make a back-up of the photos, leave them on the phone, and reap the benefits. There’s a 50-50 chance the current gf will delete them if she sees them but will still bitch to you about having the pictures at all. Maintain frame. “Soft next” if she gets too crazy for your liking.
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Listening to dating advice from women is like watching that one video where the girl lets her bf put makeup on her instead of her doing it herself. It just makes you look like a clown.
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Two notes:
1. Backup those pictures, the phone’s gonna die some day.
2. If you’re “sanitizing” your phone be careful not to make it look too obvious.
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The smarter move is to not let her borrow your phone so that you may keep the photos for your old age when the nostalgic masturbation material will come in HANDY
This right here is like an arrow piercing my heart. I did something a few years back that was so patently stupid I scarcely have the words to describe it.
I was having a bit of a “beta” moment I think. I had amassed a NICE, I mean a right proper collection of exes in various stages of undress, as well as some nice stills of them allowing me “access” to various body parts. I also had a couple short and full length vids.
In a moment of clarity (insanity), I decided that keeping these things was a bad idea. Erased… with the click of a mouse.
It is something that still pains me to this day that I was that fucking stupid if even only for a moment. What beta poison had seeped into me on that fateful evening? I shall never know…
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Jay are you going to amren?
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Are there gonna be any white women there?
I volunteer to be security.
(undercover)
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Hate to break it to you, old chap… but you’re the guy that security bars from entry.
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Doubtful. I have a particular distaste for amren. The moderation on that site is so over the top it is laughable. I dial it WAY down when I try and post there and still my posts tend to go into the memory hole. Anyone who is that self-censoring tells me they have already lost the battle.
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I dunno, man – there’s something to be said for walking away from your past and straight into your future.
Get out there and find your mate – whomever she might prove to be – and start putting some buns in her oven.
To hell with all those other cunts who didn’t measure up.
Don’t live in the past.
Live in the present.
And in the future.
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I had pictures like that, and two movies of having sex with a really hot girl, filmed with my laptop. But I realized I never watched them, I kept them “just because”, and then I decided to just delete them. Do I need trophies to brag to myself? Hell no. I never think about that, and if you want to watch sex movies you can find a few at XVideos.
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Jay in DC
Erased… with the click of a mouse. It is something that still pains me to this day that I was that fucking stupid if even only for a moment.
————————————————————————————————–
All is forgiven my son. Now go forth and amass a greater archive and see that it is good.
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Do you still have the storage medium they were on? Has that medium been [heavily] written to since deletion?
If Yes, then No, you still have them. See my file recovery instructions near the top of the comments above to get them back.
If writing was light, you could get most, if not all, back anyway.
If you’ve already reinstalled WinBlow$ several times and filled the drive at least once post-deletion, or you no longer have that storage medium, you boned yourself so congrats!
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She’s your girlfriend, not your wife. Either: 1. Buy her a burner or 2. Tell her to buy her own damn phone.
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Addendum: I consulted the wife. The girlfriend is hunting for drama. Self-respecting girls do not request loaners. DO NOT LEND YOUR PHONE.
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The only instance where deleting an ex’s photos is OK is if she was super hot and you can’t get over her. Even then I’d recommend giving the encrypted files to a trusted buddy to hold for 2-3 years while you heal. Apart from your own mental sanity, there’s no good reason to permanently delete any photos.
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If he has to ask (and he’s in an ltr) there’s probably not enough congruency to come out of this with a positive outcome. Considering these are nudes saved on a phone, as opposed to a cashier babe flirting back in front of your date, the girl might get a sex addict/ creep vibe before she gets the alpha cad tingle. On top of that, the guy probably doesn’t have the skill set to judo her reaction and follow up into more hot sex (will probably end up apologizing).
There’s a lot of ‘depends’ here. But to me this is nuclear game and this guy’s mitts are too soft handle something that hot.
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I don’t care what anyone says… I’m keeping those paintings.
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Praying that this new GF decides ‘hey, I want to be photoed too’
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Bet on it… they ALL have an inner whore, waiting to break out… God bless ’em. 😉
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The pictures on my phone are all of my gfs unconscious with their underpants around their ankles.
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Absolutely leave them on, if you like them. It’s important to be able to be yourself with your woman. So it’s a test if she can handle the fact that you are a sexual being whose energy isn’t entirely focused toward her. Not really cool to do if it’s a manipulative dig though. Do expect her to freak out a little and then get super slutty if you’re able to stand your ground after she gets upset.
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@YaReally, update for you.
I am very good friends with an ex gf who I dumped. We never banged after that but we did travel together and hang out. She is a true “friend”. She helps me, supports my projects and is also a good DHV for other girls because she’s very cute and well-liked. Guys also like her.
My crazy Ex gf who we’ve discussed at length was always insanely jealous of this ex gf. I always said “she’s just a friend.”
Since telling her to fuck off a month ago I have had no contact and at my weekly social party the crazy ex gf came out last week and I totally ignored her—didn’t look at her so don’t really know what her reaction was.
This past Friday she came out again and there was an orbiter with her. She made a point of making it unmistakeable that I would notice them talking to each other on the dance floor. They stood there and chatted so they held up the entire flow. I could see the guy was desperately trying to make something happen. I got the impression from their body language my ex was trying to make ME jealous.
I didn’t react and after having a decent time, I left to go meet some friends.
Ironically I later learned my ex gf “Friend” left shortly after I left, perhaps giving the impression we were leaving together.
I personally think the idea of making an ex—any ex deliberately jealous is too much work and not alpha.
I think it’s the same with defriending someone on Facebook or deliberately changing your privacy settings so an ex can’t see what’s on there—it’s too much work.
My view with my crazy ex was that I wasn’t going to change my life or lifestyle for her and my friends were true friends and she knew all about them.
That she would get jealous of that was more a product of her insecurity.
My view with game is that any action that is forced—-like deliberately getting an ex jealous is beta because it takes too much effort.
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It’s not hard to make most girls jealous. It doesn’t require work; all it requires is that you not upend your life for them or “protect” them from your past.
Keep your nudie shots, keep your bikini posters, keep your porn movies, etc. Girls will get jealous in a good way so long as you stand your ground about your past and your being man.
Related story:
I have a friend who is a great-looking guy but in reality a total beta. Has an ex-gf slut who used to constantly sending him nudes and naughty texts–she was batshit insane but DTF with him at almost any time. He now has a gf whom he plans on staying faithful to.
His current gf discovered these old nude shots on his phone and flipped out. GFdemanded he block her/delete them. I was proud when he told me he refused ==they were from his past, not with his current gf, and he’s not erasing his past for current gf.
Good man.
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@whorefinder. Yes, I agree with that approach. I don’t agree with any deliberate attempts to make someone jealous beyond “organic jealousy”.
It’s too much work.
In the past when girls I’ve gone out with have tried to make me jealous I’ve 1) called them on their nonsense and 2) distanced or left them.
In one case (pre-game) I dumped a girl I had been seeing who got some dude’s number in front of me.
For years she would still cry about how she lost me. Now we are good friends and she is super supportive of anything I do. But a part of her still regrets pushing me too far.
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> “I am very good friends with an ex gf who I dumped. We never banged after that but we did travel together and hang out. She is a true “friend”. She helps me, supports my projects and is also a good DHV for other girls because she’s very cute and well-liked.”
Why in the name of God almighty are you not making babies with that chick?
SRSLY – that’s mate-for-life material which you’re describing right there.
Some of you mother-fuckers are such morons that it makes me wonder whether Western Civilization even deserves to not go extinct.
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Hey there: Robert Graves Game. It pisses off the Yeshiva Students.
http://divinemisconceptions.blogspot.com/2010/10/i-spit-on-robert-graves-review-of.html?m=1
This is quite an interesting review of a complicated book cherished by Lesbian Studies Departments: The White Goddess.
If you haven’t read it, be assured you don’t have to. However Graves basically nails how a Bitch can fuck you up in this book. He also satirizes the hell that is matriarchy and the problems of the Jewish omnipotent God. Navigating between the two leaves a man either wrecked on the shoals of a pussy whipping or the sandbanks of celibate monasticism.
(quick note, Graves was a gifted writer and soldier, occasionally wrote great poems)
It would be interesting to see what he’d say about Heartiste’s contention that American Women are bonkers mad. He had a crazy bitch lover called Laura Riding who terrified him.
Anyway. Anything that pisses off the usual suspects must be good on some level.
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[…] The post subject says it all. A reader asks, Read your site regularly. Thanks for the time and effort. Interested in your thoughts: I’ve got a recent girlfriend- good looking, moneyed background, sweet girl but lots of confidence. […]
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What kind of bullshit is it that she needs to borrow her boyfriend’s phone because hers got lost? How long does it take to replace a phone? 30 minutes? If this story is true, (1) she never “lost” her phone and she clearly just wants to snoop and (2) she is crazy.
Give her a burner phone with minimal hours. After you’ve had her a few more times and begin to get a little bored with the routine, dump her and call your less crazy hot ex.
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This is like letting your significant other use your computer. Do it and you’ll find some keylogger spyware loaded on the machine.
Men, you need to protect your privacy by protecting your phones, computers, and finances. Never trust a woman with these things. Never ever. The drama you will generate will not be worth it. Not only will she confront you with what she finds (bad enough, but a man can handle that), she WILL get her revenge too. Think long and hard about what that can entail … and I’m not just talking of divorce rape. In the online world we live in, what she puts on the web will live forever. Do you want future employers and business colleagues seeing your dirty laundry?
Take it from an expert. Control your privacy like it’s your greatest asset. Because it is.
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> “Do it and you’ll find some keylogger spyware loaded on the machine.”
Final Exam exercise in Game Theory 101.
Q: “Honey, what’s the Administrator’s password to your computer?”
A #3, GAMMA: __________
A #2, BETA: __________
A #1, ALPHA: __________
Show all of your work.
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Alpha: “Here. Use my work laptop. No web surfing, ’cause HR will have my hide. Just access your gmail. No Facebook. If you need to shop, try a bricks-and-mortar store.” [The machine is, naturally, impeccably clean, has a second email password, which cannot be given away to anyone for work security reasons, and can be taken way at a moments notice because of a work emergency, so no spousal spying software can be installed. AND TAKE IT AWAY from her after 15 minutes. That’s plenty of time.]
Beta: “OK, sweetheart.” [Frantically clears browsing history and hopes (vainly) that he didn’t forget to delete anything else incriminating.]
Gamma: Ha ha. Trick question. There is no GF or wife.
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Im not suggesting this, Im just putting it out here for review; Nomennovum probably has the right idea.
What do you do with all your “stuff” when you get married?
Throw it out? Burn it? hide it?
A friend of mine told me that when he and his wife got married, they bought a special footlocker and jointly agreed to put all their mementos from past lovers in it with the understanding that neither one was to look through it until one of them died.
It is the honor system. I forgot to ask him if it should include your porno collection.
what?
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“A friend of mine told me that when he and his wife got married, they bought a special footlocker and jointly agreed to put all their mementos from past lovers in it with the understanding that neither one was to look through it until one of them died.”
The wife opened it up with 30 days of their exchanging their vows. Women do not respect anyone’s right to privacy, and they will never keep their word if it’s not to their advantage to do so.
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So… fucking… close. Almost laid the last few weekends, end of the night. Need to focus on leading/closing. This is going to happen. And I will keep going out and fucking up until this happens.
I keep rationalizaing events that happen where the girl could be into me:
Girl dances with me (oh, she just wants to dance).
Girl pulls ME to another part of the venue (oh, she’s just pulling everyone to hangout)
Girl initiates conversation (oh she just wants to have FUN)
This is how i’ve lost the last three potential lays because I’ll respond LOGICALLY instead of taking things to a flirty, focused direction. All of these scenarios ended in me letting the girl go, not taking it anywhere EVEN though, these were all at the end of the night and I could FEEL the sexual tension.
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Is it possible that she wants to borrow a phone so that she can check out the contents? I once let a girlfriend use my computer. Big mistake, Later, she also got access to my email and downloaded contents. At the same time, she would never let me near her when she was ‘online,’ and ranted about ‘respecting’ her privacy.
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She is definitely asking to borrow the phone so she can check the contents, and she deserves what she gets if she snoops. Still, I think it’s better if he just tells her no, she can’t borrow the phone. That will get her curious/jealous (what’s he hiding in that phone?!?) without him having to deal with the drama of having her actually see the pics.
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Save to a computer file and delete. She’s not going to believe (unless she is catatonically stupid) that you didn’t bother to scrub the phone before handing it over to her.
The pictures would tell her you intentionally left them for her to see. Then she’d wonder why you’re actively attempting to make her jealous, and that would get the hamster spinning in a way that will make those panties dry as a three thouand year old pharaoh’s mummified carcass.
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up is down and down is up. triple a negative – worse off, positive starting point, gets you better off
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I have no idea what that meant.
But I do know that if a woman thinks you’re trying to impress her, you’re on losing ground.
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