Some readers have asked, if I had a younger teenaged Elliot Rodger cornered at one of his dad’s Hollyweird parties, what would I have told him, assuming I could sense that the boy was troubled by his perceived failure with girls and suffering great loneliness?
The thought has crossed my mind. Here’s what I would say (give or take):
Women are different than men. Much different. Forget everything you know. You must understand this first.
You must be willing to listen and improve yourself or I’m wasting my time here.
Accept that women are different, and like different things in men than you like in them. That means stop worrying about your looks so much. They aren’t that important.
Don’t act needy. This is the most important lesson. Girls hate male neediness. Girls love men who seem like they get a lot of women and don’t chase after them. Fake it if you have to, it’s better than moping around like a loner.
Lift weights. Drink a lot of full fat milk. Don’t expect that you’ll look like Arnold in his prime. But if you stay the course, in one year you will be more muscular and more confident than you are now, and girls will notice.
You have to get over your shyness. Girls can’t read your mind. You spend too much time inside your head. Get out of there. Focus on making eye contact with people, and stop looking like a grouch. Talk to girls first as a friend. Get comfortable with that, then begin flirting with them and making your sexual intention known.
Stop taking whatever drugs your dad put you on. The only drug you need is the testosterone you’ll get from lifting and the thrill of approaching girls.
Find a male friend who is good with girls. Don’t envy him. Observe him. Learn from him. He doesn’t have to know this, but he will be your mentor. Don’t feel ashamed that other men have something to teach you.
Again, your looks or your race you can’t do anything about, so stop dwelling on them.
Girls don’t like “supreme gentlemen”. Girls like fun guys who tease them and confuse them and make them chase. All those ugly guys with cute girls? They flirt with the girls and then ignore them and then make fun of them. It’s a seesaw girls love to ride.
You should never let a girl know how you truly feel until she has already fallen in love with you. Girls love men who challenge them.
Be mysterious. Don’t wear your heart on your sleeve.
Never, I mean never, write poetry or love letters for a girl, or buy them stuff. You save that for girls you are already fucking.
Girls don’t want to hear about your problems. If you have to vent, do it with a male friend, or an older male guardian.
Never, I mean never, take advice from a woman, even if she is your mother.
If you want to know what a girl is really thinking, watch what she does. Don’t bother listening to what she says, as she herself is unaware what turns her on.
Never put a girl on a pedestal.
You make a girl chase you by not returning her texts promptly, or by flirting with other girls around her, or by ignoring her chat pings or calls. Don’t feel bad about doing this, it turns girls on.
Your car doesn’t matter. Your clothes don’t matter. Your family’s money or the people they know don’t matter. Do you know what matters to girls? Self-assurance. Act like women already want you, and now it’s just a question of which one you’ll choose.
Oneitis will kill your soul. That hot blonde you obsess over? Stop doing that. The world is filled with cute girls. Go out and mingle with them. Trust me on this, once you are experiencing the incomparable joy of a cute girl giving you all her love, you’ll forget about that one girl you used to think you couldn’t live without. You’ll forget allll about her.
Stop thinking life is unfair, or girls are unfair to you. There is no such thing as unfair, there is only the way the world works. This is the way girls work, now make that work for you.
Here are a few one-liners I want you to remember because girls love to hear them.
Don’t be defensive if a girl acts indignant when you tease her. Her indignation is the first sign that she’s beginning to like you.
Stop berating yourself. Who cares how other men are doing compared to you? The only thing you should care about is your own growth as a man.
Stop hanging around losers. That includes losers on internet forums.
Let me show you how to stand like a confident man, and how to walk. Come, try it with me.
You are young. You have way more time than you think. Get some perspective. Setbacks and rejection are a normal part of living, not the end of the world.
Say the word “fuck”. Good. Say it again, this time louder. Good. Now scream it from the top of your lungs. Wow, people are looking at us. Smile. You’re feeling better already aren’t you?
That’ll be $200.