COTW winner is AspergersKills, who relates a night when the vibe seemed formidable and he had to dig deep and remember that it’s a man’s evolutionarily assigned job to make the first move.
To give an immediate example of how this forum helps men, I went into an upscale karaoke restaurant last night to eat. I quickly noticed that I was the only male amid 50 twenty one year old girls celebrating their 2 year college graduation. I sat down in a leather lounge chair at a table between them and the place where singers tend to perform. They would stand over me and cheer their friends. But, in the first twenty minutes I was there, they would not make eye contact with me or otherwise recognize my existence in any way.
Most men would feel humiliated by this. They see it as belittling and unfair that women pay no attention to male strangers and that women try not to make eye contact. Elliott Rodger would probably want to go block the exits and burn the place down after experiencing what I had last night. The few men who did show up at the restaurant over the course of the evening, shrunk into themselves because the group of 50 really hot young women was quite intimidating.
But I remembered something I read here once, that the best way to break ice at a karaoke joint is to choose a song requiring a duet and then ask a woman to help out with the duet. I went up to the DJ and, just then, one of the three best looking of the graduation gang came down to choose a song as well. I learned later that she was hoping I would talk to her. I did. I asked her to complete the duet I chose and she was thrilled to help.
The duet performance went great and all 50 girls applauded us. That earned me big points with everyone as well. There’s a PUA term I forgot the name of that describes what happens when a girl’s companions mostly seem to like you. It opens the Heavens with light. Soon they were competing to sing duets with me and they’d lounge in the 3 empty leather chairs at my table, their gorgeous legs up on the table. I felt like the sultan of swing. Without thinking about it, I would lean back in my chair and put my arms out along the back of it, or drink my coffee by holding the cup itself instead of the handle, mild pieces of advice I picked up here and internalized.
Meanwhile the other guys got zero attention from the girls and sat like introverts leaning into their drinks mumbling to each other.
The most uncomfortable part of the evening for me was figuring out whose number to get, recognizing that there was an element of losing out on dating one of the other 49 if I didn’t do it the right way. It was also true that I only really connected with 5 of the 50 over the course of the evening. As this site notes, it is a numbers game. Some people just aren’t into each other no matter what their behavior (or looks).
So sites like this teach positive behavioral modification to prevent guys from shrinking into themselves in the presence of hot women. I wasn’t “acting” last night. I just chose a clever way of introducing myself and becoming part of a group.
These kinds of stories bring a tear to me eye, they do.
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COTW runner-up is Just Saying. And he’s just got something to say about tapping into that sexy female id.
They crave the drama, and get antsy when it’s missing.
This is one of the things that I look for. We (one of my girls) and I were at a family theme park earlier this year, and there was a family. Young children, Mom (hot little blonde early 30′s) and the Father and an older couple that I later learned was his parents. So my girl (20 yo, brunette) and I were sitting having a fast-food dinner – when Mom and Dad start arguing. Didn’t really matter why but it was obvious that Mom wasn’t happy – of course. So she goes storming off (I enjoyed watching her jiggle-past), and my girl says to me, “I think that’s my cue. I’ll call you in a few if all goes well,” and takes off not that far behind while I finish the burger and fries and sit and enjoy the view. Good to her word she calls and says she has a “new” friend and are heading to the car,
Long story short – Mom wasn’t happy that for most of the last week they had been doing “kidsy” things and she had wanted the Grandparents to take the kids so she and Papa could have some quality time today since she hasn’t had sex all week. So she ended up having quality time with a couple she didn’t know. Women are strange and wonderful things – she wanted time with her husband, but being raw-dogged by a guy she didn’t know was just as acceptable to her. It took a while to get her there – an hour or so, but the journey is half the fun and everyone knew where it would end up, it was just a question of letting her get there. I have used women’s need for drama to benefit myself throughout the years – it is very dependable. Women are such simple creatures – give them another female to compete against – one that is younger, hotter, and more attractive and enjoy the results. The guy is pretty much superfluous other than he gets to enjoy the competition since whatever the younger one does, that older one will HAVE to do as well. Never trust a woman when there are other women around – they will toss a marriage, kids, and everything in their needs for a little drama in their lives. Never forget that since it tells you what you, your family, and everything else is worth to her – not as much as that few hours of excitement in a boring life… Remember that since it will NEVER change. It is how women are – so accept it, and use it to your advantage….
Drama is the Force. You can use it for good… or you can use it to command the dark side.