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Chateau Heartiste

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Soccer Post

June 18, 2014 by CH

This is the obligatory CH soccer post. Suave commenter gig chastises,

I am not reading/commenting here as much as I would like to, but seriously, the World Cup is happening.

You have 4 years to talk about girls. Americans have bought 5% of tickets to the finals, btw. Now there should be a permanent post on the Cup

Lastly but not the leastly, world cup games in Brazil are almost carnival-like.

American SWPLs love, or pretend to love, soccer, because it has a low barrier to entry for the world’s poor. All you need is a field and a ball.

I have a soccer prediction. If the Mestizo-ization of America continues apace, soccer will indeed become a big thing here. As white America tags along magnanimously and warms to soccer, and its programs get better, expect an American “stamp” on the style of play. More fast breaks, more football-type (the real football) strategizing, more partition of talent. And less gay flopping.

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Posted in Globalization | 235 Comments

235 Responses

  1. on June 18, 2014 at 9:49 am Backdoor Man

    Heh. You don’t even need a ball. On several continents, I have seen kids play with a “ball” of wrapped-up rags.

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    • on June 18, 2014 at 9:57 am thwack

      Ive seen ni66ers shoveling snow off a basketball court at 7am

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      • on June 18, 2014 at 10:23 am Ted Cunterblast

        Basketballs bounce off the shoulder of Demetrius. I watched june bugs sweating in the dark near the Ralph Rangel Houses.

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      • on June 18, 2014 at 1:35 pm thwack

        Your son wears jerseys with my name on it.

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      • on June 18, 2014 at 3:00 pm Ted Cunterblast

        Your name is Ralph Lauren?

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      • on June 18, 2014 at 3:32 pm thwack

        Listen super bitch, do you wanna trade spit with ni66ers?

        or learn how to get laid?

        It would behoove you to sit down and STFU you gameless wonder.

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      • on June 18, 2014 at 4:30 pm VRW

        world cup time – everyone suddenly has a thought on soccer, and everyone’s opinion MUST be heard!

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      • on June 18, 2014 at 5:12 pm Glengarry

        “Basketballs bounce off the shoulder of Demetrius. I watched june bugs sweating in the dark near the Ralph Rangel Houses.”

        Time … to die.

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      • on June 19, 2014 at 1:32 am gunslingergregi

        there are no more basketball courts where I live now from when I was young
        they were all broken and nobody has fixed them
        nope I guess one thing nig drug dealers don’t do is give back to the community they keep getting stacks of money repossessed by the cops though had another one yesterday

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      • on June 19, 2014 at 11:42 am Greg Eliot

        Blade Runner references trump n1663r sass.

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  2. on June 18, 2014 at 9:49 am Knowbody

    Poor brown people sport

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    • on June 18, 2014 at 9:51 am Backdoor Man

      That explains Germany, the Netherlands, England, etc.

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      • on June 18, 2014 at 9:53 am longanlon

        In all those countries, soccer is mostly played by the poor.

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      • on June 18, 2014 at 10:57 am Hugh G. Rection

        Yeah that’s pretty off base.

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      • on June 18, 2014 at 11:02 am Arbiter

        That explains Germany, the Netherlands, England, etc.

        It was played by the poor there too. From the beginning. Then it becomes bigger because religion and ideology tell us to imitate everything the poor do.

        And even though it isn’t a poor-only thing in the West, the reason it is such a hit in the Third World is indeed poverty. You just need a bundle of rags to kick.

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      • on June 18, 2014 at 10:34 pm Dave Pinsen

        And Australia — which has played surprisingly well so far, despite losing their first two games (they lost 3-2 to the Netherlands, which wiped out Spain 5-1). I can see the Aussies putting their own stamp on the game in similar way as CH expects the US to.

        Though if the Latino population of the US gets to a critical mass, SWPLs will abandon soccer. They like it because it’s popular in Europe, not because it’s popular in Latin America and elsewhere in the 3rd world.

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    • on June 18, 2014 at 9:58 am leeminh0

      True, in the case of Russia or Korea, but the other European teams have a high disproportion of Black or Arab in them (Benzema? )

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      • on June 18, 2014 at 11:05 am Arbiter

        “A high disproportion”? Dumbass trying to sound intelligent. They have a high PROPORTION. “Disproportion,” ridiculous. “They have a disproportionately high number of…” is a way to use that word, but don’t try to use words you can’t handle, you just reveal your ignorance.

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      • on June 18, 2014 at 11:22 am leeminh0

        And you must be one of those americans who only speak English xD I have Spanish first, then English, and after: Korean, Japanese, and Portuguese words and rules on my mind 😛

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    • on June 18, 2014 at 12:32 pm Knowbody

      What’s your point? I can thank my American and British ancestors for laying the ground work for me. Everywhere you go…someone knows English. That’s awesome

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    • on June 18, 2014 at 10:51 pm ho

      I will never understand why Americans get so butthurt about “soccer”.

      And CH, calling handegg “the real football” has to be the height of obtuseness. It’s neither foot, nor ball.

      Why would you prefer a vehicle for advertisers over a genuine sport anyway?

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    • on June 19, 2014 at 10:01 am Director

      It originated in the elite private schools in the UK. It was spread as a sport by English expats.

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  3. on June 18, 2014 at 9:50 am Jason R.

    Mestizos in the USA will continue to follow their teams from their original homes and pay little attention to MLS or the USMNT.

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  4. on June 18, 2014 at 9:59 am duderz

    Nope. As soccer becomes more of a mestizo game in the US, white liberals will lose their interest in soccer and focus on games with a higher bar to entry, like hockey and lacrosse.

    Ten years ago, upper middle class high school kids were playing soccer, but they got tired of being beaten by teams full of Mexicans and African immigrants, so now they’re all playing lacrosse. Mexicans can’t afford all that gear, you know.

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    • on June 18, 2014 at 11:38 am Ronin

      Lacrosse is the true gentleman-rogue’s sport. Even Archer plays it.

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  5. on June 18, 2014 at 9:59 am Anonymous

    It’s such a poor sport that the top five professional sports franchises in the world are soccer clubs. Good one CH. I would have thought you would enjoy getting to watch all these brown skinned nations get embarrassed in competition by their white counterparts. Then again does a coward really need a reason to be afraid?

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    • on June 18, 2014 at 11:08 am Arbiter

      It was a poor-people’s game in the West too, but it was then also adopted by the rest of society. Thus the soccer clubs. That doesn’t change the fact that its spread in the Third World is due to it being easy for the poor to play.

      “does a coward really need a reason to be afraid” – You would know. You are too much of a coward to even type out a user name.

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      • on June 18, 2014 at 11:29 am Laguna Beach Fogey

        Football’s origins are with the rich kids in the public schools [boarding schools] of England.in the 19th century.

        European colonialism helped spread it around the world.

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      • on June 18, 2014 at 5:44 pm Cholo

        Its a democratic, entrepeneurial game, played by quick-thinking clever guys who are average in height and weight and survive by thinking and creativity—-like capitalism; unlike the Stalinesque American football with its monster-freaks, under “command and control” of coaches!

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      • on June 18, 2014 at 7:06 pm gunslingergregi

        Cholo

        Its a democratic, entrepeneurial game, played by quick-thinking clever guys who are average in height and weight and survive by thinking and creativity—-like capitalism; unlike the Stalinesque American football with its monster-freaks, under “command and control” of coaches!
        ””””

        interesting thought
        I think the irony of life is that the poorest countries are the ones with the most freedom

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    • on June 18, 2014 at 11:53 am FULL FORCE IRRUMATIO

      no, of the top 5 wealthiest sports teams in the world, 2 are soccer, 2 are football, and 1 is baseball.

      http://www.forbes.com/pictures/mli45ikdf/1-manchester-united-2/

      plus soccer is top-heavy. Scroll through that list, the vast majority of the top 25 are American sports teams.

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  6. on June 18, 2014 at 9:59 am Anonymous

    Bread and circuses for the masses. Televised sports are just entertainment for beta males.

    Best thing to come out of this World Cup noise was the Brazillian supermodels doing the Samba:

    https://m.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=10152466106659826&id=353199739825

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    • on June 18, 2014 at 10:57 am Big Balls

      “Bread and circuses for the masses. Televised sports are just entertainment for beta males.”

      True. But the last 10 minutes of u.s. v. ghana was pretty fun to watch. ghana goal was poetry in motion. watching highly disciplined men perform their craft on a world stage will always pique my interest.

      Guess I’ll go beta for a few weeks every four years. never seems to affect my bj count.

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    • on June 18, 2014 at 1:24 pm zodak

      watching sports is stupid when you could be banging some girl. time is better spent doing something else.

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    • on June 18, 2014 at 6:30 pm Modern Primitive

      All i’m hearing here is whining from Betas who were always picked last for the football team.

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  7. on June 18, 2014 at 10:03 am ramram

    It is interesting to see racial composition at the stadium, eg. Brazil fans watching live matches at the stadium look strikingly different (99% white European) than their soccer players (90% mulattos and mestizos).

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  8. on June 18, 2014 at 10:03 am thwack

    Not only is “soccer” a great sport for athletic conditioning; but it is very much a hip and lower body discipline which is good practice for fucking and dancing.

    Next time you watch it, imagine the ball is not there.

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  9. on June 18, 2014 at 10:06 am Knowbody

    eh, they’re rich in numbers. no surprise it’s the #1 pastime of 3rd world besides selling each other and posing for commercials with sarah mclachlan music

    fanatics turn savage at 1 or 2 goals in a stupid back and forth spectator sport. all stick and ball sports are lame unless you’re participating.

    course I’m into motorcycle road racing so things like soccer and golf are a snooze fest to me

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    • on June 19, 2014 at 1:11 am deal with it

      Most motorsports are boring as hell to watch unless you’ve done it yourself or are watching stage rally. Let’s be honest, MotoGP is not that exciting… however, ripping through the gears on a sportbike yourself definitely is.

      Most ball sports offer more for the viewer than most motorsports. With football (soccer), you don’t need to have them scoring every minute. Just watching high level players match up with their ball control skills is enjoyable to watch. Compared to road course racing where most of the time, there is not much passing and everyone falls into a stagnant rhythm for a good 10 laps.

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      • on June 19, 2014 at 5:46 am Knowbody

        That’s why I find it enjoyable…I do it myself. I agree otherwise, F1, Nascar, pretty much all car racing is boring as hell, 2-3+ hrs of lap after lap. No wonder people just get hammered at nearly all spectator sports. I’ve played football, soccer, baseball, basketball…can’t sit through a whole game for any..or get excited about it. Mostly every motogp race is to the wire and only 45 minutes or so..but it’s not just motogp, a good race is a good race. Some good battles in world super sport, I would say better than motogp. The gap there is that it takes nothing short of a motorcycle racing god to ride them fast, it divides the field. In WSS you can have 6 lead changes between 4 riders to the wire, don’t even care who the rider is or the equipment. I can understand it doesn’t appeal to everyone….now if irish road racing doesn’t get you pumped you have no pulse. Idk anyone who watches it for the first time that isn’t amazed

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  10. on June 18, 2014 at 10:08 am dsgntd_plyr

    Watching the mexico brazil game yesterday i noticed 20-25% of the crowd was mexican. It’s thousands of dollars for a mexico-brazil round trip, tickets, food, hotel etc. So mexicans aren’t poor helpless people (4.8% unemployment rate btw). So all the “we need to help poor mexicans” immigration talk is bull shit.

    Related. Mexico is rich enough to take in the central american children’s crusade.

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    • on June 18, 2014 at 10:59 am colombian guy

      the ones that made it to the game are the rich ones. most Mexicans cannot afford to even leave their city. a country with a 100 million people like mexico, no matter how fucked up, has a small but meaningful upper class. so and see mexico city or gudalajara, the amount of money there goes over many places in the u.s

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      • on June 18, 2014 at 5:16 pm driveallnight

        Will arrive in Cartagena on Monday. Dame culo costena, bueno pues!

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      • on June 18, 2014 at 9:53 pm driveallnight

        “Cheap and plentiful drugs, the hottest broads on the planet, and then throw in the possibility of violent death at any time. I’m your host driveallnight, welcome to Approach Week: Colombia”

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      • on June 18, 2014 at 11:55 pm Rick250

        I concur. I have been to Cartagena 3 times. Last time was a ‘salvage the holiday’ trip to get away from Costa rica with surfing with my bro.
        Protip: dont ever go to Costa rica..women highly recommend it..so doubly dont do it.

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      • on June 19, 2014 at 12:05 am Rick250

        Side note about Brazilians and soccer:
        I had the pleasure of hanging with a bunch of exchange students from Brazil..they would play hackysack or kick a ball around like they were in the circus..unreal how skilled they were.
        Then one day i brought out my american football and tossed it to them. They werent familiar with it and it showed. Every single one of them threw it like a 13 y.o. girl would…i was amazed how pathetic they were.
        Then, years later, i had the pleasure of hanging with some Christian students from Alabama up on a trip to visit other parishes and volunteer in my city. The did more for my city than i ever have.lol. And sweet Jesus could they throw a football far and accurately..good times.

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  11. on June 18, 2014 at 10:09 am Andro

    Oh CH man, I have full respect for your writings about women, feminism etc. but please, oh pretty please DO NOT cross into that shitty American exceptionalism shit. I clearly see from your text that you know shit about football (yes, the whole fucking world is calling it football – association football is full name of the game), so please DO NOT go there and comment, at least before you educate yourself. Football might have a certain different meaning to it inside the USA, but for the rest of the world it is No1, and there are VERY VERY masculine reasons for that. So, stay sharp and educate yourself, and here are some links:

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Football_hooliganism

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    • on June 18, 2014 at 11:15 am Arbiter

      “DO NOT go there” – That’s a leftist, feminist way of talking. “Racial IQ differences? Don’t go there!” You berate CH for talking about non-American things he supposedly doesn’t understand, but you then use an expression from the American Left that you don’t understand. How embarrassing.

      “Manly”? That the rabble gatherings at games as an excuse to fight doesn’t make it “manly”. They go where the crowd is. The fact remains that caring, or pretending to care until you believe it yourself, about who kicks a little ball is pathetic. Those “manly” criminals you love are people who should be imprisoned for life, and society would be better off. They do nothing to raise the “manliness” level in any society, they only provide an example that leftists can use against us. “Look, this is how men are!” they lie.

      Videos from Russia – your country has exactly one person I like, and that is Putin. Even though he is corrupt like the rest of your society. The lower people are mostly trash, who like non-Whites hate anyone with more wealth, and become parasites leeching off Westerners when given the chance. We have nothing to learn from them.

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      • on June 18, 2014 at 11:35 am Andro

        When you become able to speak, and not to even mention write, only TEN words in my language as I do speak and write in English, then I just might take you seriously about what is or is not leftist or feminist way of talking. And talking about corruption, West is the most corrupt society that world has ever seen. Only your corruption is not material. It is spiritual, which is 10 times worse. Leeches you say? Who had slaves? You or us? Who had colonies? You or us? Well, at least we did not come to your country to tell you how to live and what to do, whome to vote for and bomb you if you do not obey. You Anglo-Westerners are the worst hypocrites the world has ever seen. The cancer of the Earth.

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      • on June 18, 2014 at 12:06 pm The Spirit Within

        Arbiter, shut up. You’re embarrassing yourself by commenting on a sport, and foreign cultures, that you barely understand.

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      • on June 19, 2014 at 9:50 am Director

        American sport is so heavily nigged out that Soccer is a blessing. It’s a sport that favours bright multi skilled white men. Latin men have an affinity to it but it’s not a nigged out mess.

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    • on June 18, 2014 at 11:23 am colombian guy

      agreed, I barely watch the games. what most of the bashers here don’t know, is that usually the number 10 in every team (captain), is a clear example of alpha even out of the games. some of them display dark triad traits. this sport can teach a lot.

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      • on June 20, 2014 at 9:06 am bryanton

        The number ten is by no means the captain of all (or even most ) teams.

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    • on June 18, 2014 at 11:56 am eofahapi.

      How rude.

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      • on June 18, 2014 at 12:02 pm eofahapi.

        That was to Andro. You can not assume someone does not know about football. Even if one does not, why be mean?

        It is time of world cup, get in the spirit! 😀 .

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    • on June 18, 2014 at 3:36 pm Anonymous

      playing football (not soccer) is not as alpha/masculine as american football (ie less violent sport). watching/supporting your football club is an ENTIRELY different thing, however. dismissing the entire sport and any association with it as beta or the sport of the poor or non-white people game or anything like that = talking complete bs about things you have zero understanding.

      you wouldnt believe some of the shit that happens here in europe regarding football

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      • on June 18, 2014 at 3:38 pm Anonymous

        a lot of ch principles can be exemplified very well throu football

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    • on June 18, 2014 at 4:03 pm cynthia

      This post isn’t so much about the sport itself, but rather, how it dovetails in to the SWPL, liberal, worldview, and how a certain segment of the US population makes a fetish of it. It’s not about American sports being better than soccer, it’s about soccer being the sport that people who hate America like to associate themselves with instead of US sports, as a social/political statement.

      He’s not insulting soccer, get over yourself.

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      • on June 18, 2014 at 8:07 pm Canadian Friend

        Bingo

        Cynthia is 100% right.

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      • on June 18, 2014 at 11:13 pm Col Nicholson

        Very well put, cynthia. Just this last weekend some NPR geek had a little segment on how soccer unites people all over the world. He was much moved in observing how soccer is the first sign that things are beginning to return to normal after any natural or man-made disaster. Whatever hell-hole you happen to find yourself in you can always form teams and kick something around in the dirt.

        The subtext (to me) was definitely “why can’t we Americans get with the program.”

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      • on June 19, 2014 at 8:27 am Ryan Vann

        First adult and manly response yet; unlike the petulant personal affront tact taken by all the preceding posts. Would up-vote.

        Futbol is without question the sporting equipment of NPR in the US. Expressing your interest signals your goonie SWPL allegiance, but very few people actually enjoy either.

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  12. on June 18, 2014 at 10:12 am Laguna Beach Fogey

    Let’s hope soccer–the real football–continues to grow in popularity. It’s an awesome game.

    Note that the US team is finally being whipped into shape by the German coach, Jurgen Klinsmann [who lives in nearby Huntington Beach], who has imposed a strict, unconventional training regimen on players, including IQ tests, media training, and blood tests. Based on the win over Ghana, it seems to be working so far.

    The World Cup, in particular, allows for an expression of nationalism and racial pride which you can’t find in American sports, which, unfortunately, are dominated by the sub-humans and their white male worshipers.

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    • on June 18, 2014 at 10:29 am markpower49M

      I enjoyed your post.

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    • on June 18, 2014 at 10:56 am naz

      yeah the game against ghana was great fun to watch but still team usa is a third class team. I dont know about the training regimen, team usa players were going down left and right with hamstring problems and they generally looked assed out and exhausted at the end of it all. my prediction is theyre gonna get creamed by portugal.

      if the usa plays fuckin ghana, then yeah ill support my country, but if theyre up against any european team, australia or argentina then ill support those teams since they mostly have players that actually look like me and share my heritage.

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      • on June 18, 2014 at 11:18 am Laguna Beach Fogey

        Agreed, although I think the US team is better than it has been the last few World Cups. It’s not surprising that it takes a German to whip them into shape.

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      • on June 18, 2014 at 11:39 am corvinus

        Yeah, Klinsmann definitely made a difference. It was obviously his idea to let Ghana have more of the possession, take a bunch of crappy, wild shots, and wear themselves out, while USA made a smaller number of far more accurate shots. And it worked, aside from Ghana’s lucky break near the end… Ghana definitely flagged in the last half hour as their West African fast-twitch team ran out of gas.

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      • on June 18, 2014 at 11:51 am hideousblackamoor

        Many of the players on the US team are the products of German-black American race mixing (or Hungarian-black), including Brooks, the substitution centerback who scored the winner against Ghana.

        Not just that, but the top gun striker (until his hamstring pull) Altidore is full black and descendent of Haitian immigrants. ( Also has an out of wedlock kid w/ a white chick.)

        Black, check. 3rd world immigration, check. Race mixing, check. Why aren’t you calling for a mass lynching? At least bring some bananas to a friendly match and throw them at the players. You disappoint me. Come on, white folks. Do something!

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      • on June 18, 2014 at 11:57 am thwack

        Also, that extra bone in their foot may have slowed them down too.

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    • on June 18, 2014 at 11:19 am Arbiter

      Let’s hope soccer–the real football–continues to grow in popularity. It’s an awesome game.

      Why do you want to project nationalist feelings on a game, which has nothing to do with the nation? Oh no, “we” lost against that African nation, that means “they” can be proud but we can’t! Ridiculous. The handful of individuals playing their little game on the field have nothing to do with what is really good in a nation, and they don’t “represent” anyone but themselves.

      “Oh look, ‘our’ team has non-Whites in it, and they managed to kick the ball X number of times. That means they are fighting for us, and we are all brothers in ball!”

      Millions of idiots watching games and pretending they have meaning, pretending so hard that they actually believe it, only shows the immense capacity for self-deception in the masses.

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      • on June 18, 2014 at 12:12 pm naz

        The racial composition of the sports teams that a nation projects onto the world stage says a lot about that nation.

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      • on June 18, 2014 at 12:47 pm corvinus

        Yeah, I noticed there are a lot of Rhineland Bastards on the US team, and I wish there were more white guys, but oh well.

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      • on June 18, 2014 at 1:07 pm The Burninator

        Well said Arbiter.

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      • on June 19, 2014 at 6:51 pm haunted trilobite

        it’s essentially true that they have no meaning, and that it’s just entertaiment. But most of life is meaningless: oscillating emotions that occupy the ceased march of time toward an inexorable end. Some forms of entertaiment can be ‘meaningful’ in that they convey wisdom that enriches our moral standard, for example. But soccer, or other sports, can

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      • on June 19, 2014 at 7:07 pm haunted trilobite

        provide examples of team work, and sportsmanship, particularly young impressionable children. These guys arranged generally more ‘alpha’ than their fathers couldn’t ever hope to be, so naturally kids aspire to them. CH mentioned the brand of football-of course there is pride among fans when their team expresses a certain style. The Italians and Spanish both have highly sophisticated tactics and philosophies underpinning their game. And it does bring people the world over together, even if it is borne of a capacity for self-delusion. If you mention your respect for this aspect or that player of a foreigner’s team, they’re usually very appreciative. Fair enough you can dig through wikiprdia looking for their country’s contribution to art, music, political theory, stem, etc, but chances are the drongo you’re talking to will be oblivious to all that anyway. Sorry for the long response, but vast swathes of the great unwashed find merit in soccer, and many of them are/were cleverer than any of us could ever aspire to be.

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  13. on June 18, 2014 at 10:13 am Gro Haila

    Because of the low scoring oficiating errors and “errors” have too big an impact on the outcome.

    Funny thing, my first clear view of the world “as it is”, was in a crowded bus where one semi-pro league official confided to a pal the “there was this sum of money for me if visitors won, but it could not be pulled it off” (on account of visitors not being strong enough).

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    • on June 18, 2014 at 10:31 am OlayDave

      Average American NFL score is 17-13; and that’s because each “goal”/TD is inflated to 7 points, with a stupid FG ( a kick over the bar, not into a goal) given three. Take out the inflation and its 2-1, same as soccer.

      Human error on officiating makes far less difference in soccer than most other sports. As a former official, its easy to know the difference between good and bad calls and perspective on the field.

      Too bad you never had the guts to be a ref.

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      • on June 18, 2014 at 12:53 pm Knowbody

        And? I don’t even have a hard on for gridiron football but the scoring rules just puts more demand on coaching and coordinators to develop strategy. Both offensively and defensively. American football is as close to strategic warfare as you can get in field sports. Games have been won and lost solely on the risk taking or lack thereof the head coach

        No position in soccer compares to the demands of an NFL quarterback.

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      • on June 18, 2014 at 8:18 pm Canadian Friend

        American Football is one of the sports with the longest list of rules.

        This will get me a lot of hate but here I go anyway,

        because of these complex rules American Football is – to an extent – a more cerebral, more intellectual game than soccer.

        Soccer is mostly endurance and agility…with your legs only ( no hands allowed, which is weird )

        I have other more shocking theories about European Soccer/Football but for now this will do….hehe…

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      • on June 18, 2014 at 10:59 pm ho

        “American football is as close to strategic warfare as you can get in field sports. Games have been won and lost solely on the risk taking or lack thereof the head coach

        No position in soccer compares to the demands of an NFL quarterback.”

        So?

        In “football”, a large number of players are essentially water carriers. In “soccer” on the other hand, every player is likely to actually participate in the central directive: putting the ball in the box.

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    • on June 18, 2014 at 4:10 pm Hilary Clinton

      Yuichi Nishimura + Neymar = Affirmative Action 101

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      • on June 18, 2014 at 5:11 pm Cholo

        Every position in soccer compares to the demands upon an NFL QB, since every position in soccer must handle the ball, often under pressure and every position has the chance to score if creative enough. NFL QBs are rigged with headsets so they don’t have to think, they react to a coach’s thinking for them. No such cushy luck in soccer!

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      • on June 18, 2014 at 11:00 pm ho

        “Every position in soccer compares to the demands upon an NFL QB, since every position in soccer must handle the ball, often under pressure and every position has the chance to score if creative enough.”

        Horseshit. Soccer isn’t nearly as tactical/strategic as Gridiron.

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    • on June 18, 2014 at 10:11 pm Cortesar

      “because of these complex rules American Football is – to an extent – a more cerebral, more intellectual game than soccer”

      Is that why American football is played solely by square heads which IQ matches their shoe size?

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      • on June 19, 2014 at 6:06 am Knowbody

        obviously latching onto a stereotype. You can’t be a “big dumb jock” and run an NFL playbook. it’s the only professional sport I believe that absolutely requires some college prep unlike NBA or Soccer where you can get drafted out of the detroit mean streetz league..or sand dunes

        Water carriers? If there’s was ever a team sport it’s American football…you can have a god like QB or even a few outstanding key position players and still blow game after game with a weak D or O line. Barry Sanders is a good example of this

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      • on June 19, 2014 at 11:52 am Greg Eliot

        Get your racial epithets correct… square heads are Norwegians (sometimes Scandinavians in general);.

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      • on June 19, 2014 at 5:02 pm thwack

        I thought it was “toe head?”

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      • on June 20, 2014 at 11:05 am Greg Eliot

        Towhead is usually a compliment given to the little children with bright blonde hair.

        Geez, what did (or didn’t) they teach you guys in school?

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  14. on June 18, 2014 at 10:19 am Barbarossa

    ch, I hope to read an inspiring social commentary rant equal to your magnificent post from years past, a patriotic independence day story this July 4th. your readers demand an update from the dark lord.

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  15. on June 18, 2014 at 10:25 am OlayDave

    Its a very popular sport cuz you don’t need to be an absolute freak of nature (black and better than 6’2″+ and 235 lbs. up to 350) to be good. Its easier to identify with athletes that are the same size as you.

    Once you get used to the flow and the geometry, its fun to watch and you’ll then be bored with all the stoppages in play of American sports (Football: a 1 hour game that takes 3.5 hours to play with a grand total of 12 minutes of real action? Basketball: 48 minute game, taking 2.75 hours and non-stop jamming or flinging of the ball into a modified peach basket!)

    And the game is entrepenuerial: creativity on the field in a fluid situation is encouraged, rather than “command and control” by coaches, like American sports.

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    • on June 18, 2014 at 10:32 am Ted Cunterblast

      Good point. I have a theory that one of the reasons sports fans in America dislike soccer is that it makes them feel like fat fucks. Given the obesity epidemic in America, they probably are.

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      • on June 18, 2014 at 12:55 pm Knowbody

        That makes no sense considering the highest grossing films, magazines, etc. that push “thin is hot”…which it is…come from America.

        Weak theory

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    • on June 18, 2014 at 11:26 am Arbiter

      “all the stoppages in play of American sports”

      Right there in soccer too. Faking injuries, exaggerating contact. There was an examination of which teams cried foul the most some years back: the Mediterraneans did a good job at crying to the referee, not surprisingly, but South Americans were even worse, also not surprising. That people can make themselves believe there is actual importance in games like this shows they have nothing else to talk about.

      The reason they blabber on about games like it had any meaning in the workplace, is that they have little else. The workers don’t understand science or anything else with actual value. Sports is a safe subject away from politics or philosophy (which they are too lazy to read anyway) or similar. Sports is something that gives them the chance to feel like experts.

      It also gives them a chance to feel like winners, by projecting their hopes of success onto someone else. If they can make themselves believe that sports has real meaning other than being just a game, then they can feel that there is a frontier left to conquer. And they can pretend that they as fans have a role in that, by cheering for the team. “We are the twelfth player!” they flatter themselves.

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      • on June 19, 2014 at 7:17 pm haunted trilobite

        hmm, you’ve developed your point upthread pretty well. I still say there’s some value in sport, but agree with you also to a large extent

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    • on June 18, 2014 at 12:02 pm The Spirit Within

      +100

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      • on June 18, 2014 at 4:41 pm Matthew

        -12

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  16. on June 18, 2014 at 10:29 am markpower49M

    But then I’d look like the world’s loser race.

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  17. on June 18, 2014 at 10:33 am markpower49M

    All spectator sports are for losers. Get a life of your own. You life is your mission. Soccer is gay because of all the fake flopping. It’s disgraceful.

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    • on June 18, 2014 at 11:30 am Arbiter

      Agreed, it is for losers. That’s why the masses love it – they can pretend they have some meaning by being fans for a team, as if that made them part of the team’s success, and by pretending that the team is doing something useful and not just playing a game. If they can’t pretend, they have to realize that they wasted their lives, being too lazy to study as kids, and are now stuck in dead-end jobs.

      Oh, sure, we can always mention how there are educated fans too. That’s because in our age, the low are praised and the high try to imitate them.

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      • on June 18, 2014 at 5:24 pm Cholo

        What do you prefer—Chess? You a “One Night in Bangkok” kind of ghey guy, eh?

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      • on June 18, 2014 at 8:27 pm Canadian Friend

        Another interesting fact,

        Soccer fans are much more violent than American Football fans ( or Baseball fans or Basketball fans ).

        There is no comparison, yet the Europeans lift their nose on the USA because it is “violent”.

        Such hypocrisy.

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    • on June 19, 2014 at 6:32 am Clément

      lol and whats your mission? posting comments on a blog?

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  18. on June 18, 2014 at 10:34 am DeNihilist

    Funny thing is, ice hockey is the fastest growing spectator sport in the US.

    Huh?

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  19. on June 18, 2014 at 10:49 am Dan in ATL

    CH should be encouraging all men to watch the World Cup. Every match features several shots of the women that are available outside of American borders.

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  20. on June 18, 2014 at 10:52 am beta_plus

    Increased Soccer participation in the US is also indicative of the breakdown of families. For a child to learn baseball, a father must buy a kid a glove, help him break it in, teach him to throw and catch properly, and hit the ball with a bat.

    For a child to learn ice hockey, a father must buy a kid used equipment and teach him to skate.

    For a kid to play soccer, a single SWPL mom just has to take her son out to a field and let him run after a ball. No major purchases or more importantly time and attention necessary.

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    • on June 18, 2014 at 11:13 am Rick Derris

      That is an interesting point. There are a lot of kids from broken homes who play baseball and football (and even make it to college and pro teams), but I’ll wager most of them weren’t exposed to the sport until they attended schools with organized teams.

      Sad to think that the Rockwell-esque image of a kid playing catch with his father has been replaced by a gang-banger in the empty lot or a SWPL family with 2.1 kids dragging the children to every bullshit activity imaginable.

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    • on June 18, 2014 at 11:14 am colombian guy

      in the rest of the planet is just the oposit. soccer as you call it, in the u.s , is something you pick your 8 year old princess from. as for the rest. soccer as you call it, is a male bonding thing. dads are always playing with their kids. americans should not resist this, they should use it to their advantage. if your kid id not 6 feet tall at 14 to shine in basketball , or 190 pounds of solid steel muscle at 16 to be quarterback, soccer is a good alternative.

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    • on June 18, 2014 at 12:20 pm SC

      You really think that the SWPL mothers are the largest category of single mothers? Hell no! Its Black/Hispanic/prole White women who are by far the most likely people to become single mothers. SWPL towns usually have a divorce rate of between 15%-25% and an illegitimacy rate of near zero.

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      • on June 18, 2014 at 12:55 pm beta_plus

        No, SWPL mothers are not the the largest category of single mothers. However, of single (usually divorced) mothers, they are the largest group to drag their kids to pretentious American soccer games.

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    • on June 18, 2014 at 5:20 pm Cholo

      I spent hours with my kids, all three, 2 boys and a girl, playing and teaching soccer. Taught both boys to balance their kicking with both feet by working their non-dominant foot, in both case the left. After several games I had parents come up to me after my sons scored with left-footed kicks, saying they didn’t know my sons were “left-footed”! LOL! it was all the practice. As team captain in HS, my older son scored a ton of goals from headers, which he and I drilled on constantly and yet, he was a defender by position!

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    • on June 18, 2014 at 11:02 pm ho

      “For a kid to play soccer, a single SWPL mom just has to take her son out to a field and let him run after a ball.”

      Bullshit. Playing soccer with your father is a common activity.

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    • on June 19, 2014 at 11:06 am Director

      Don’t be a retard.

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      • on June 19, 2014 at 11:10 am thwack

        Greg Eliot has entered the building

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      • on June 19, 2014 at 11:55 am Greg Eliot

        Thwack, don’t be a retard.

        (first time I’ve ever said that at the chateau, right?)

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  21. on June 18, 2014 at 10:53 am Anonymous

    A lot of people getting butthurt over a CHILD’S game.

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    • on June 18, 2014 at 5:22 pm Cholo

      All games are CHILD’S games, Ass Clown!

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      • on June 20, 2014 at 9:18 am jean

        All of them? American football is far from a child’s game.

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  22. on June 18, 2014 at 11:07 am colombian guy

    don’t bash football so soon. . I have seen pre teen American girls loosing a lot of weight because of it. sadly many of them become unfeminine afterwards, some of them not. at least there is hope. on the other hand, many male kids that will never make it to a basketball or American football street game , can find a place in football or soccer as you call it. just see messi , best player in the world, who entered the sport as an undernourished sick kid. football is a sport that helps kids to cope with many things, for example.. it can make you less beta.

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  23. on June 18, 2014 at 11:15 am Rick Derris

    All of the SWPL bitches in Austin are skipping work to watch the games, primarily so that they can SPLOOSH over the “hot guys” on the teams of other countries. Then they go back to the office, do little to nothing, and then scream RAPE if the skinny white guy from accounting or the IT Indian OTBer dares to address them.

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    • on June 18, 2014 at 1:02 pm corvinus

      It’s okay if they sploosh over the German team (minus the few darkies).

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    • on June 18, 2014 at 4:06 pm colombian guy

      same all over the world.

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  24. on June 18, 2014 at 11:19 am elmer

    ForeignBride wants to see soccer (aka “futbol”) but I dumped cable some time ago. My co-worker Pablo tole me she could watch on “univision” for free and she is happy despite the Spanish language problem.

    I am going to stop by Big 5 and buy a soccer uniform to spice up our sex life. A man’s gotta do what a man’s gotta do.

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  25. on June 18, 2014 at 11:20 am Subarctic Hillbilly

    Of mixed feelings about the … em … sport. The SWPL preening drives me mad. Like to see those neckbeards playing full contact REAL FOOTBALL on the sidewalks of my youth. And yet, it is graceful.

    However, soccer’s rise in American sports status has been predicted since the glory days of Pelé. Remember him? Neither do I.

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    • on June 18, 2014 at 11:37 am Ted Cunterblast

      Well, like so many Americans, they probably couldn’t make it without collapsing halfway across the soccer field, wheezing and gasping for air. nd I’d love to see those dumb lardasses playing American football try to play real football or a genuinely dangerous sport like rugby.

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    • on June 18, 2014 at 7:10 pm thwack

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      • on June 19, 2014 at 8:33 am thwack

        You know you are good when your opponent has to foul you to keep you from scoring.

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  26. on June 18, 2014 at 11:28 am check

    Only in America could you have a “world series” where only American teams compete and football where 99% of the time the ball is in your hands, or sat on the floor doing fuck all because of a stoppage, time out, blah blah blah

    Real football is the biggest sport on earth. Period.

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  27. on June 18, 2014 at 11:32 am tspark156

    What about rugby? you know, the one that’s like yank pussy football, but not gay as all fuck.

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  28. on June 18, 2014 at 11:33 am Bardon Kaldian

    Not CH’s best. World football aka soccer is the most popular collective sport in the world & is overwhelmingly white as far as its best teams and players are concerned. Unlike American football or basketball. Anyway, I don’t care about any sport too much, it’s just a waste of time. As I said elsewhere- American football is, as compared with world football, banjo forever unsuccessfully striving to become violin. From 3+ hours of Stupidbore …eh…Superbowl, only 11 minutes of real action (a WSJ analysis). Overweight nogs puffing & collapsing all over the field- that’s my definition of dull & absurd.

    The truly beautiful sport discipline to watch is water polo. Just, it will never become a global game….

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  29. on June 18, 2014 at 11:34 am Arbiter

    The Ghana team’s motto is “Black Stars: Here to Illuminate Brazil”. Would a European team be allowed to call itself “White stars”? Of course not. That’s how “soccer benefits nationalism” as one poster above opined.

    Weird. I saw a picture of the Algerian team lined up: eleven Arabs, many of them lightskinned. Then in front of them stood eleven Black kids, also in soccer uniforms. Political correctness spreads to Arab countries, it seems. Must pretend that the Black tribes in the southern part of the country are also Algerians.

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    • on June 18, 2014 at 1:04 pm corvinus

      The Ghana team’s motto is “Black Stars: Here to Illuminate Brazil”. Would a European team be allowed to call itself “White stars”? Of course not. That’s how “soccer benefits nationalism” as one poster above opined.

      They’re called that because the Ghanaian flag has a black star on it. It’s a bit of a pun.

      Weird. I saw a picture of the Algerian team lined up: eleven Arabs, many of them lightskinned. Then in front of them stood eleven Black kids, also in soccer uniforms. Political correctness spreads to Arab countries, it seems. Must pretend that the Black tribes in the southern part of the country are also Algerians.

      That’s because the savage dune coons in North Africa are mulattoes, as anybody who takes a look at Zacarias Moussaoui’s mugshot should realize.

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  30. on June 18, 2014 at 12:01 pm eofahapi.

    I like soccer, it is the only sport I like. Along with formula 1, but that is not really sport?

    What is gay flopping?

    Football is no where close to as gay as rugby where the men almost molest each other.

    I am not sure but I think all of Greece team is Greek.

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  31. on June 18, 2014 at 12:01 pm thwack

    You could just hang them all and replace them with white people?

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    • on June 18, 2014 at 12:15 pm naz

      another drive by post reflective of your people’s crime methods.

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      • on June 18, 2014 at 1:29 pm thwack

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  32. on June 18, 2014 at 12:31 pm Lalas

    Australia has already beaten you to it.

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  33. on June 18, 2014 at 12:32 pm Lily

    The United States http://thebusinessphone.com/africas-potential generic topamax weight gain 40 hours in the practice site weekly. It is suggested that this time be divided into five 8-hour days.

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  34. on June 18, 2014 at 12:33 pm McGonzo

    Soccer, yeah. Almost as gay as cornhole.

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    • on June 18, 2014 at 1:07 pm corvinus

      Turkish oil wrestling is gayer.

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    • on June 18, 2014 at 5:31 pm Cholo

      Says the fat slob who couldn’t stay on a pitch for five minutes without ralphing his guts out and who would collapse in horrified pain, the first time a 12 yr old took a shot at his thinly protected shins or ankles with a whip-like leg and foot with cleated boots!! You ever get re-acquainted with your belt buckle or the tops of your shoes?

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    • on June 18, 2014 at 11:06 pm ho

      I never understood this. How is soccer “gay”? I could see if it was figure skating because those are genuinely homo. BUt soccer players? Pff.

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      • on June 19, 2014 at 11:11 am thwack

        I think its because it looks like dancing?

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  35. on June 18, 2014 at 12:35 pm Wrecked 'Em

    Everything America gets interested in it gets so good at that there’s no competition… American football, basketball, baseball — why is there no World Cup in these things? Oh, because nobody else would be interested in watching American decisively dominate every single year always and forever.

    So, enjoy America’s disinterest in soccer while it lasts.

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    • on June 18, 2014 at 4:08 pm colombian guy

      actually there are plenty of disciplines in which americans dominate…and people are happy to compete against the, havent you seen the olympics??

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    • on June 18, 2014 at 11:09 pm ho

      Is there anything more laughable than an American that genuinely believes you can dominate soccer by throwing money and negroes at it?

      You can’t dominate soccer honey. America being good at American football is because other people don’t give a shit. America being good at basketball is because of darkies. Don’t know enough about baseball to comment.

      I would actually enjoy American’s liking soccer. You would probably be no better than England.

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    • on June 19, 2014 at 10:00 am Director

      Delusional. The US is disinterested in Association Football (soccer) because you can’t have advert breaks.

      Brazil or Germany or Italy would tend to wipe the floor with the US in the WC even if Football was a sport ghetto trash niggers would play religiously. It’s not a nigged out sport. It requires too much improvised strategy.

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  36. on June 18, 2014 at 12:50 pm Anonymous

    “the real football” …. well this is really funny because something that isn’t played with feet or with a ball…shouldn’t be called a football …

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    • on June 18, 2014 at 1:06 pm corvinus

      “American rugby” would be a more accurate name.

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      • on June 18, 2014 at 3:05 pm Ted Cunterblast

        “American pussyball” would be even more accurate.

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    • on June 18, 2014 at 6:27 pm markus64s

      Baahaahaaha. That’s why you always hear people say, “look at the ref, that guy really has balls.”

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  37. on June 18, 2014 at 1:10 pm Jay in DC

    I don’t follow it on the reg, but I -do- always watch World Cup. And I agree with other posters here; Seeing massive amounts of Europeans playing a sport is reason enough alone to watch.

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    • on June 19, 2014 at 11:02 am The Spirit Within

      If you only want to see white people, then just watch the UEFA.

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      • on June 19, 2014 at 11:04 am CH

        or time travel back to 1960 America. *swoon*

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      • on June 19, 2014 at 11:15 am thwack

        or just start singing the white people national anthem wet dream:

        they cum so hard to this song

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      • on June 19, 2014 at 7:36 pm haunted trilobite

        it certainly doesn’t have the edge of ‘king heroin’

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      • on June 22, 2014 at 12:50 pm cryo

        lol thwack is spot on about Margaritaville being the national anthem for lame-ass white people

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  38. on June 18, 2014 at 1:17 pm gig

    The World Cup, in particular, allows for an expression of nationalism and racial pride which you can’t find in American sports, which, unfortunately, are dominated by the sub-humans and their white male worshipers

    BINGO

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    • on June 18, 2014 at 1:26 pm thwack

      If the sports are dominated by sub-humans you need a BETTER definition of human.

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      • on June 18, 2014 at 2:47 pm gig

        cheetahs run faster than humans, yet they are still unable to build rockets.

        Elephants are quite stronger than humans, yet they have been failing up to now in developing an alphabet

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      • on June 18, 2014 at 3:27 pm thwack

        How many rockets have you built and how do they help you get laid?

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      • on June 19, 2014 at 8:31 am thwack

        The rocket females care about is the one between your legs:

        Dont punk out

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  39. on June 18, 2014 at 1:22 pm gig

    Spain leaving in the first round is something that no one would have predicted

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  40. on June 18, 2014 at 1:35 pm KappaUpsilonNuTheta

    I wish I loved soccer, I really do, there’s so much of it and everyone else seems entertained. But when I watch it I see a bunch of feminized effete manlets prancing around, playing hurt and crying a whole lot. I know there’s skill, I know there’s grace, but it just can’t compensate for how girl-like the game is. Maybe it’s because I grew up with rugby, where the competition is to show as little reaction as possible to being plowed down by a 120kg sack of aggressive shit travelling at right angles to you – ie values of endurance, fortitude and stoicism. And it’s the only place you get to see the Celtic nations ritually knock the stuffing out each other without being arrested.

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    • on June 18, 2014 at 1:49 pm aint nuthin but a gangsta parrttyyyy

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      • on June 18, 2014 at 7:07 pm Jay in DC

        Awesome… it -has- gotten better in recent years but flopping is so fucking homo it cannot be expressed in words.

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    • on June 18, 2014 at 5:36 pm Cholo

      You couldn’t take a shot to your shins/ankles from a 12 yr old girl soccerette with falling down in searing pain, let alone a shot from a guy who can propel a hard round ball at 50 mph!

      As a rugby player you can’t enjoy soccer, because what’s left of the mush in your skull after playing rugby, formerly referred to as “brains”,can’t comprehend something as fast as a moving soccer ball.

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      • on June 18, 2014 at 6:23 pm markus64s

        Ah, yes. The speed of the ball in a painfully low scoring game… that’s how you judge quality. Running back and forth is fun to watch.

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      • on June 19, 2014 at 8:54 am KappaUpsilonNuTheta

        I guess I struck a nerve. You have words, I have this:http://f3.thejournal.ie/media/2011/12/George-North.png

        Your average soccer player would pass out at the sign of his own blood, despite having to shove a tampon up his ass once a month.

        Actually rugby players are fairly smart people, and universities are a primary incubation ground for the sport. It’s also considered an upper class sport in England, Scotland and Ireland – you know for genetic elites.

        Also, unlike soccer, it allows you to use a feature that is virtually unique to humans – opposable thumbs – and unlike soccer it doesn’t require the use of the head to strike a hard round ball travelling at 50mph as a basic play.

        Even cricket is much manlier than soccer. There are cricket players who have faced a rock hard ball travelling at 150km/h for several hours while playing with a broken hand.

        But, go back to your wendyball. It’s enough to make even a 12 year old girl seem scary 🙂

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      • on June 19, 2014 at 9:08 am KappaUpsilonNuTheta

        and just for fun: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bVjO5_DUMGM

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      • on June 19, 2014 at 10:21 am Canadian Friend

        Just watched that youtube clip and I can not believe what I just saw.

        I did not know it was THAT bad!

        Not only are the soccer players OBVIOUSLY faking being injured but they are such bad actors that I now put European soccer in the same category as American ” professional” Wrestling.

        It is all fake and all staged, it is a sport for retarded people as only retarded people can believe this is real.

        EVERY injury is as OBVIOUSLY fake as a clown nose.

        And that is the sport you think is so superior to American Football???

        You are so gullible that you probably believe in the tooth fairy.

        Not to defend those American wrestling clown/actors but at least those faking wrestlers are not girlie/gay as those European soccer player are.

        And they are better actors.

        My respect for European men has just gone down a few more notches…

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    • on June 19, 2014 at 8:03 pm haunted trilobite

      Soccer fans have to agree with kappa here: pro soccer is now a disgrace. Tasted up nonces falling over and cheating constantly. And these guys are built like brick shihouses these days, since weight training became widely practiced in soccer. Controlling a ball ona cold wet morning isn’t very enjoyable, but it’s nothing like what the gladiator s of rugby have to go through. I personally like rugby, but opt to watch soccer just for those rare moments of sublime grace that occur amongst all the faggotry. It’s a more artistic sport overall, imo. Going back 20-40 years ago when you had players like “chopper” Harris, it was certainly a man’s game. Those guys often got the bus to training and worked construction after retiring. Money and youth academies has distorted players’ perception of reality. So even though they come from acid in face, slit your throat slums, where rugger gents would be eaten alive, they’ve been plucked out and pampered before reaching age 12. Generally. Perennial adolescence. gladiatorgladiators of rugby

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  41. on June 18, 2014 at 1:40 pm Soccer Post | Reaction Times

    […] Source: Heartiste […]

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  42. on June 18, 2014 at 2:47 pm Daniel

    What’s the matter CH, ran out of things to look down on ?

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  43. on June 18, 2014 at 3:39 pm gig

    I have a soccer prediction. If the Mestizo-ization of America continues apace, soccer will indeed become a big thing here. As white America tags along magnanimously and warms to soccer

    Also true. Soccer will grow because of America’s decline and parallel to it

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  44. on June 18, 2014 at 3:57 pm cynthia

    Naw. They like soccer because American doesn’t like soccer. It’s the “game of the world,” not our arrogant Amerio-centric football or baseball or basketball. It’s a way for them to pretend to be cultured, sophisticated, and well-traveled, even when most of them don’t so much as own a passport.

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    • on June 18, 2014 at 10:13 pm Exurban

      Cynthia is right. If American soccer became big then the hipsters/SWPLs wouldn’t like it anymore. BTW, when they tell you it’s the most popular game in the world, your comeback is that McDonald’s is the most popular restaurant in the world, so why don’t hipsters eat there?.

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      • on June 19, 2014 at 11:11 am The Spirit Within

        IF soccer became big? MLS has 21 teams, many soccer-specific stadiums, national TV contracts, and greater average attendance per game than NHL and NBA games.

        Welcome to 2014. We’ve been waiting for you.

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    • on June 18, 2014 at 11:03 pm Ted Cunterblast

      Nonsense. We like football because it’s a better game. Period.

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  45. on June 18, 2014 at 6:18 pm markus64s

    Americans, please stop calling it “soccer.”

    Use it’s real name, “Poorball”

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  46. on June 18, 2014 at 6:26 pm Anonymous

    Or as we like to call it here in Australia – European poof-ball. Also know as synchronised lawn-diving.

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  47. on June 18, 2014 at 7:13 pm wolfie65

    As most American comments regarding soccer, this one goes way wide of the goal. It is indeed the original football (and actually played with the feet), rugby, American football and basketball are adaptations.
    Reasons why soccer isn’t popular in the US: The game requires you to run for 2×45 minutes. Many Americans huff & puff just getting off the couch to reach for more Cheetos. Put a football player on a soccer pitch ,and he’ll be on his knees, begging for oxygen after 3 minutes – which is longer than he has to run in an entire football game.
    Many Americans have major problems accepting someone who isn’t at least 6’2, 230 lbs. as an athlete, never mind a world-class athlete. Seeing people of normal or (gasp!) even small stature excel at sports makes them deeply uncomfortable.
    It’s not a democratic sport. While the match is in progress, the referee is the all-powerful God-King and what he says, goes. If he says that was a goal, it counts. If he says ‘Off with his head!’ and shows you red, you gotta go. Now. And you will not be replaced by a younger, hotter model.
    Speaking of younger models, soccer is also not nearly as intensely youth-focused as Americans tend to like many of their sports. There are guys in their 30’s and even 40’s still playing at or near top level.
    Scoring is relatively rare. Americans LOVE yelling ‘T’shdun!” or ‘Xomm Rrrrrunnnn!’ every few minutes, scores below double digits are boring.
    Perhaps most importantly, the format of the game prohibits having 3 hours of commercials for every hour of play, interspersed unevenly via timeout after timeout after timeout after….well, you know. If Madison Ave. can’t sell you crap for at least 45 second per minute, all day, every day, they’ll make damn sure you won’t like soccer any more than they do.

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    • on June 18, 2014 at 11:07 pm Ted Cunterblast

      Bingo.

      LikeLike


    • on June 19, 2014 at 6:40 am Knowbody

      What does that say about a sport where a 40+ year old can remain competitive. The average NFL career is 3.5 years, such a pansy sport, right? Original football, who cares…SWPL hipster mentality…”cool before it was cool.”

      Many americans huff and puff getting off the couch for more cheetos..HA! Since the national sport’s credibility is based on the exaggerated representation of that country’s population, we’ll got that route. Like soccer fans in Africa are all somalis with AK47s and AIDS or middle east they’re all muslim beheading squads…nice try. America is well represented in every sport on the global stage. USA has won 4 out of the last 5 Olympic Soccer tournaments.

      Have you seen the Olympics medal table?? USA has literally embarrassed the entire world in every medal category.

      LikeLike


      • on June 19, 2014 at 11:16 am The Spirit Within

        Wolfie65 was a little off. Most professional soccer players retire by 37. The only ones still competing into their 40s are the keepers — Casey Keller — but that’s rare.

        In the Premiere League, you pretty much are forced out after age 30, especially the strikers. Our Major League Soccer is cleverly scooping up brilliant 30+ players who have marquee value but are past their prime in Europe. Their presence is really building the visibility of the league.

        LikeLike


      • on June 20, 2014 at 7:24 am wolfie65

        If there’s a country that has ’embarrassed; everyone else in the Olympics medal count, it’s Norway. Last I looked, they actually LEAD the Winter Olympics medal count, despite having a population of only 4 million. Austria, Switzerland and Aussie do pretty well also, despite having small populations.
        Most soccer fans in Africa are people who consider themselves lucky to have a bowl of rice and water that won’t kill them.
        No one said that American football is a ‘pansy’ sport. It’s a sport in which huge meat-and-lard mountains (brought to you by State Farm) collide massively for 5 seconds at a time to advance a mutant ostrich egg (brought to you by Honda) a couple of yards (brought to you by FedEx). Each collision is followed by 5 minutes (courtesy of Budweiser) of time-outs, during which the lard mountains catch their breath (Zyrtec), a group of septuagenarians squint at video (Coca-Cola), trying to determine whether LeShawn Washington’s left little toe was north or south of grass blade X (Levitra), coaches shaped like several beer barrels tied together spit into their heavily laminated play books (Allstate), and a former lard mountain draws X’s and O’s (I’m Greedy Crook and I approved this message) on the screen.
        Did I mention there are lots of commercials? For 4 hours.

        LikeLike


      • on June 20, 2014 at 9:24 am bryanton

        Yeah that op is exaggerating about players still being near the top in their late 30s or 40s .

        It’s rare even for goalkeepers to be playing at the top level in their 40s. And almost unheard of for outfield players.

        If anything, the game is more “youth orientated” than American sports, since the players don’t have to go through college first.

        LikeLike


    • on June 19, 2014 at 9:45 am Bardon Kaldian

      Mostly correct.
      http://bleacherreport.com/articles/1492553-world-football-vs-american-football-why-do-we-hate-each-other

      http://www.forbes.com/sites/bobbymcmahon/2012/10/28/a-dozen-reasons-why-the-nfl-will-never-make-it-outside-of-the-usa/

      LikeLike


    • on June 19, 2014 at 12:42 pm jack

      europeans have this weird inferiority complex about soccer, they really care about why Americans don’t care.

      So they rationalize with all sorts of arguments which insist on making themselves sound superior.

      Truth is America was never poor n’ crowded enough for soccer to take off. Other sports filled the niche, and our attention is all full now. So sorry, America has never cared about soccer. It doesn’t care about soccer. It never will care about soccer.

      You can say it is because we’re fat or have ADD or we’re rednecks. Whatever.

      Just know that you’re the only ones thinking about it.

      We don’t think about you at all.

      LikeLike


      • on June 20, 2014 at 9:33 am bryanton

        To be fair, I’m British and I never see British media or blogs handwringing over why America doesn’t by into football. It seems to be an entirely domestic thing, usually in the form of unprovoked defensiveness (“i’m American, let me write 500 words to tell you why I don’t like soccer….”)

        LikeLike


  48. on June 18, 2014 at 7:45 pm Ozzy

    One will never appreciate football unless he has played it and has experienced how difficult it is to play it well.

    LikeLike


    • on June 19, 2014 at 6:24 am Knowbody

      Every person on earth can be given a soccer ball and kick it around. Give some Somali kids an american football and they turn into nonathletic 9 year old girls.

      LikeLike


      • on June 20, 2014 at 9:28 am bryanton

        Everyone can kick it, but not well. Same as any sport in that respect.

        LikeLike


  49. on June 18, 2014 at 7:47 pm Phero

    Football is a game of creativity, skill, technique and physicality.
    All qualities men should have.
    It’s what BJJ/Gracies brought to the US as UFC.
    The average american just doesn’t seem to grasp such things though.

    LikeLike


  50. on June 18, 2014 at 8:48 pm Mike hunt

    Went to a local pub on Monday to mack some broad I met earlier on a park bench. Bunch of white guy office workers watching USA – Ghana. Guess who they were going nuts for? (Hint, I’m in Canada). So pathetic, these self-haters. Meanwhile I tuned out and the girl grinded me back at the park.

    LikeLike


  51. on June 18, 2014 at 9:27 pm Canadian Friend

    Speaking of team sports and liberals,

    take a look at this,

    http://washington.cbslocal.com/2014/06/18/u-s-patent-office-cancels-six-trademarks-for-washington-redskins/

    LikeLike


  52. on June 18, 2014 at 10:28 pm dslap

    There was a recent article about how the US team and English team lose chances because they don’t flop. Calling the issue “cultural” the US players still said, we don’t care, we don’t act and flop. Dempsey playing with a broken nose, numerous players playing with pulled hammies. This style of play is already being formed is this World Cup by team USA. Merica.

    LikeLike


    • on June 19, 2014 at 11:18 am The Spirit Within

      I saw Landon Donovan flop. I was about twenty meters away and it was obvious. They all do it. It’s a strategy.

      LikeLike


      • on June 19, 2014 at 11:24 am CH

        so you’re saying there’s no honor in soccer.

        LikeLike


      • on June 19, 2014 at 12:02 pm Canadian Friend

        Soccer players flopping is the exact same thing as teenage girls pretending to faint to better manipulate.

        Girls have the excuse of being girls… but men behaving like girls?

        And that’s not even mentionning the horribly bad acting that is even worse than in American “professional ” wrestling where everything is so obviously fake including the blood.

        girlie men who are bad actors = pathetic

        The more I learn about soccer the more I understand why it is called gay.

        LikeLike


    • on June 19, 2014 at 11:24 am Slaughter

      Yes, rooney and sturridge don’t dive? the england team is shit because they don’t know how to play. Their best player rooney doesn’t even know how to kick a corner. That’s why their league is ruled by Latin players (Spanish, Portuguese, Italian and south american)

      LikeLike


    • on June 19, 2014 at 11:27 am Amy

      Flopping is pathetic. I played soccer and I’m hardly the most rugged person in the world, but I’d rather lose games than flop. How can you have any respect for an athlete that tries to gain advantage by pretending to be weak and injured? I don’t care if it requires “skill”. They’re still a bunch of wusses.

      LikeLike


      • on June 19, 2014 at 1:51 pm Slaughter

        football players will survive without you, amy, they get much hotter girls…

        LikeLike


      • on June 20, 2014 at 9:32 am Amy

        Good. If they act that girly in their personal life, they need all the social proof they can get.

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  56. on June 19, 2014 at 2:47 am BlackRed

    Sorry CH but this was way off the mark. “Soccer” is a white-dominated sport, with whites constituting the majority of bigwigs in FIFA, and with mostly white superstars (with a few black ones too, of course). Also, because the ability to play soccer WELL requires significant strategic acumen, purely black teams will be never on the average able to defeat white teams, like it frequently happens in the US with basketball and your futeball. (Here I claim, of course, that Europeans are better than anybody at strategizing, or have the best brawns/brains ratio of all the races, which translates into soccer dominance.) That’s why all the best teams come from Europe, and the rest from South America (with significant white majorities). Also, what is this about “poor people’s sport”? I can’t really understand this US-centric thinking, because FIFA, Europeans Champions League etc. are drowning in serious money, in fact this has become a major complaint here in Europe. You talk all the time about “whites” (my only complaint about this blog–exaggerated racism), yet the powerhouses of soccer include such “black” countries such as still-lilly-white Germany, France, England, Spain. Even Brazil had so many great white players such as Zico, Socrates etc. not to speak about Argentina (Messi, Maradona, etc). You Americans just recurred to that old vice of yours (exceptionalism) and discard a very interesting sport indeed.

    LikeLike


    • on June 19, 2014 at 2:14 pm Slaughter

      don’t forget the Spanish players who won 2 Euro cups and a World Cup, and other great players such as Raul, Shevchenko, Figo, Boniek etc

      LikeLike


  57. on June 19, 2014 at 2:48 am BlackRed

    Recur not recurred

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  58. on June 19, 2014 at 3:56 am laikastes

    Soccer is gay.

    LikeLike


    • on June 19, 2014 at 10:05 am Ted Cunterblast

      Given the NFL’s pro-homosexual propaganda and the Michael Sam case, it’s probably more accurate to say that American football and its supporters are the gay ones.

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  62. on June 19, 2014 at 7:23 am Pervert from a high school playground

    Looks like the knockout game has made it to Africa.

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  63. on June 19, 2014 at 8:41 am gig

    How many rockets have you built and how do they help you get laid?

    I built a rocket last summer using white privilege, basically. But now I don’t have time, it’s sugarcane harvest from April until October and I spend too much time whipping the slaves and raping the she-slaves to get anything done wrt rockets

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    • on June 19, 2014 at 9:28 am CH

      chicks dig a slavemaster with a rocket in his pocket.

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  64. on June 19, 2014 at 11:20 am Slaughter

    Compare cristiano ronaldos girlfriend and lebron james’s girlfriend, not a competition. And it’s not because she’s a niglet, look at mario balotelli’s girlfriend and she’s much hotter than lebron’s.

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  68. on June 19, 2014 at 7:43 pm Roman Bernard

    “the real football”

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  72. on June 20, 2014 at 11:05 am Clown You

    Soccer is not a sport. It’s what happens when you give some kids a ball and a field to play in. So long as America remains wealthy, it will prefer sports to soccer.

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  79. on June 22, 2014 at 12:42 pm Kronos1978

    Hey CH,

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  82. on June 26, 2014 at 11:18 pm Pander

    Just lost my respect. Soccer is the whitest of all sports, fucking idiot.

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