Common Beta Male Body Language Mistakes

I see this a lot in clubs and bars where noise is a problem, but also in quieter venues where the only problem is the beta male doing it wrong.

The horrible combination sideways lean-in + side-of-mouth talking + craning neck. It’s the beta male body language trifailure.

Half of game is knowing what not to do. This ludicrous, enfeebling posture may tickle Manboobz Fatrelle’s porcine labia, but it’ll turn off any woman who is the recipient of it. If you wonder why this behavior is beta, you have to see it in action. Seeing is believing. But the theoretical explanation goes like this: Awkwardly leaning in to speak to an indifferent or distracted woman subcommunicates a frantic need for her attention, which is value lowering, and girls prefer their men enthroned at a higher social value plateau than themselves. Leaning in sideways adds the element of cowardice: Now he is trying to get her attention without putting too much of himself on the line. Leaning in sideways while craning the neck and talking out of the corner of one’s mouth is exponentially beta. Pained tentativeness and neediness distress cues are the opposite of alpha male could-give-a-fuck.

So what do you do instead if you find yourself standing like this next to an oblivious girl? If she can hear you from where you’re standing, all it takes to get her attention is a pivot of the head so that you’re looking at her (and preferably down at her) through one eye. Keep your body facing forward. She hasn’t yet earned your full nonverbal engagement. If she reciprocates, you may turn more towards her to continue the foreplay conversation.

If the scene is loud and she won’t hear you from way up there, you’ll have to engage more forcefully. This means boldness in action. If you must make your verbal intentions known over ambient noise, then do it with pride of purpose. Turn to face her so that you obstruct most of her view and she can’t mistake your solicitation for the mumbles of a passing derelict. Penetrate her earspace with a diaphragm-expulsed vocal timbre so that you don’t have to bend at the waist too far. The truly overconfident cads may want to bend over until their lips are practically brushing the maiden’s cochlea and speak straight into the hamster ear trumpet.

Excessive venue noise unfortunately does not allow much leeway for indirect, uncommitted body language openers, but that could be a good thing for a lot of men, who from the sight of them treat women like they’re museum artworks protected by lines of tape on the floor that one crosses under penalty of castration.