This is what a caring asshole that chicks don’t dig — as opposed to an uncaring asshole that chicks dig — sounds like:
What did this asshole do wrong? Too much investment, too much emotion, too much spite, too much butthurtitude, too much everything. When people stumble across this blog and wonder why CH claims assholes are held in high regard by women, they are mistakenly thinking of the pissed off asshole above as representative of the species assholicus vajmoisticus. But he is a subspecies of asshole, and not one particularly beloved by women (although, if it’s a notch count contest between a butthurt asshole and a supplicating niceguy, go with the butthurt asshole).
The opening salvo was strong…
my gf is on vacation, can you send me pussy pics?
…but quickly de-escalated into whiny resentment. When she sent the cat pic, a better — read: uncaring asshole — response would have been:
The above keeps the conversation moving toward, instead of away from, pussy pics.
Some will argue that the context matters. He may very well be a hockey player who used to bang this slut and justifiably thinks she’ll toss him fap material at his command. He may also genuinely give no fucks about longer-term prospects with the girl.
Irrelevant. He wanted a pic of her pussy, and he didn’t get it because of his off-key assholery. Had he played his hand better he may have gotten what he wanted.
[…] Don’t Be The Wrong Kind Of Asshole Chicks Don’t Dig […]
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PURRRFECT ;^)
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Goddamn california is retarded as rightly mentioned…they’ve passed a “yes at every step” ? law da fuk!
http://auaria.com/?p=152
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Now this is the downside to Aspergers behavior.
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Yeah, Vox’s term for a caring asshole is a “gamma male”, and it’s apparently only one step above omega in the hierarchy.
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If gammas become uncaring…they become sigmas. Lack of empathy for one’s own feelings improves their lot in life.
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Oddly enough, Vox knows of ex-omega sigmas, but no ex-gamma sigmas. Not quite sure why that is. Maybe ex-gammas who learn game well tend to become alphas or betas instead.
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I always figured gammas had no social awareness or don’t care about game and lose at it because of their butthurt feelings. Sigmas are the same but don’t have butthurt feelings about it and that’s why they win more often than not.
Omegas I figured were just guys who had no value to anyone…even themselves.
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I think the main difference between gammas and omegas is that gammas are not pariahs or social outsiders like omegas. Gammas want and try — or demand — to be part of society, whereas omegas (and sigmas) don’t. Male SJWs and micromanaging bureaucrats are often gamma. Feminists are simply female gammas.
However, both gammas and omegas are at the bottom of the attractiveness totem pole, and both tend to get one-itis due to a scarcity mentality and come across as creepy, which is why it’s easy to confuse the two. I myself was unclear on what exactly the differences between the two were.
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So what is the term for traditional Catholic using game to “pump and dump”?
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This is why we don’t let conversations devolve into jargon. Everyone picks a Greek letter and gives it a definition, and expects everyone else to be up on it. Let’s just stick to the obvious, people.
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He failed when he asked, “can u send”
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True that.
No buildup, nothing. Just someone thinking “If I’m brave enough to ask she’ll be impressed I’m no coward who cares what she thinks! She’ll think that means my value must be through the roof.” There are those who latch on to that one part of game, to be unafraid as a way to show quality, and denounce everything else as beta. Because that’s easy. Then you don’t have to learn anything, don’t have to do anything. If you fail it’s because the women are bitches and whores etc. There is not a single PUA/manosphere guru who advocates that one-trick approach, but that doesn’t provide them with any clues. If they read forums at all, of course.
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You missed what he was implying I think. He should have demanded pussy pics(send me etc) instead of ask for them(can you etc).
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Getting girls to send you unsolicited pussy pics is alpha as fuck.
Having to ask for it is beta.
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That’s tight game bro
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As our own Elliot would say: most droll
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This is what Tilikum would sound like if he was about thirty years younger and actually talked to women. As it is, he is an aging Elliot Rodger who couldn’t afford to buy the guns.
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u will always be my favorite internet gym-rat nerd! big smoochies!
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Sure thing chief. Now tuck it back in, zip up. clean off your screen and go back to jacking off to reruns of I Love Lucy.
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Was Ricky fucking Ethel?
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No, Fred. That’s why Tilikum finds it so hot!
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was you replying to yourself the likely result of not understanding how the “reply” button works like a mother humping rube, or was your weird little rant meant for yourself and you got caught up in all the excitement of having someone actually reply to your “thoughts”?
i’m currently on a bit of a husband/bf destroyer jag these days, so i love my haters, but could you kinda trim out your metaphorical flaps so when you try to insult your betters, you can actually, ya know, actually insult them.
meanwhile, i suppose enjoy whatever activities your sorority has cooked up for you this week, lay off the carbs, and try and stay away from the black guys 😉
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I started to say stuff to set me apart from the butthurt asshole under this particular microscope, and then I realized that the number of chicks who have ever texted me still stands at 0. Right.
uncaring asshole > butthurt asshole > emo faggots like Troubadour
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That first sentence in his reply cracks me up though. It’s like watching a kid throw his dinner plate at the wall because he can’t have dessert.
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Fifty Shades of Asshole.
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Guys, I need help please!
Long story short, a year ago i dated a girl for 6 months, she made the move on me when i was with another girl. At that time i was alpha, unknowingly, and used many game concepts unknowingly. However 3 months in i got massive oneitis for this chick and turned into a disgusting beta, going against every poon commandment! Funny enough, 3 months later she broke up with me.
I was heartbroken, but obviously didnt show it to her, then I stumbled across this very blog and my eyes were open to reality. Anyways, so I’ve been working on myself a lot over the past 6 months; career, social, physical and confidence. I’ve been posting loads of cool shit ive been doing on facebook with other girls/buddies and generally social pictures. I also posted a half naked pic of me in the gym. I recently got ripped 8% bodyfat for the first time although ive always been muscular and worked out.
Out of the blue she messages me on fb saying hey.
How do i reply to her?? I don’t want to get in a relationship with her again but i do want to “revenge” fuck her one last time.
Thank you.
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i dunno about all this asshole stuff. my game tends to be ultra cocky and teasing and creating the aura of having boundless options (which becomes reality if you do it enough). i see these uncaring bad boy asshole guys (not butthurt but more asshole than cocky) in bars and i don’t think they’re really competing with me if we’re talking about just picking up a chick. being extraordinarily confident, cocky…i.e. flashing that confidence, and leading the pack is where it’s at. but showing a little well-timed friendliness to others in front of a chick has certainly never hurt my chances.
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Right now I’m attending several social networking functions — and absolutely killing it. Here’s an example of game-gone-right:
(Me, chilling, talking with people — I’m always moving from group to group, checking to see if everyone’s having a good time; and because I have done this at every function, I’m starting to get to know a lot of people. Anyway, Cute7 is someone from my ooollllllld FR’s. Way back when. So she’s at this event (dumb luck) and notices this — she hasn’t seen me for awhile. I look different, I act different, etc.
Here she comes….)
Cute7: You know, Scray you have completely remade yourself. It’s crazy. But I don’t know, I still just can’t see you as sexy.
(She says this in front of the group I’m talking to, who at first, are on her side)
Me: *smirk* thanks, and vice versa to you.
Cute7:…wait, what, you can’t see me as sexy? That’s…
Me: A rude way to start a conversation? *smirk* (shit test DEMOLISHED — the group INSTANTLY turns on her and snickers along with my smirk, she shrinks a bit in her facial expression…she knows who has the value now. Not like a dog who just got disciplined, hey? And to cap it all off….) You’re right. *smirk* My apologies.
(The DHV here is huge…Power + demonstration of a huge amount of social skill….near instant doggy-dinner-bowl)
…
I made out with her later on. We’re gonna chill tomorrow.
Probably the most legit grace-under-pressure game-changing moment I’ve had. This was a girl who always gave me a hard time before….and now look at what’s happening.
People discount jokes and wit in the game, but these are always good. I called her on her shit using a device that manipulates her emotions. I never had to directly address it at all. Not only that, but I manipulated the group’s emotions as well.
And, this was a total non-looks DHV. That’s why it’s such a great example.
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Why Fat Girls Can’t Get Dates: A Study in Waste Management
http://freebeacon.com/issues/feds-wonder-why-fat-girls-cant-get-dates/
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“Obese girls consistently report having fewer dating and sexual experiences, but more sexual risk behaviors (i.e., condom nonuse) once they are sexually active.”
IOW, fat chicks go full-on slut on those occasions a man is willing to bang them.
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they don’t really have a choice. Been much times I have gotten up to walk when a chick insists on a condom.
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Always makes me cringe when guys try to impress women with unsolicited summarizations of their best “qualities”. “I have a huge cock and I play hockey”. Christ, what a fucking idiot.
One of the most important Laws of Power: Conceal Your Intentions
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I expected a girl like you to be shaved
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+1 and stealing it.
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In response to kitty photo
I thought a girl like you would be shaved
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Idiot… She was willing to play – just didn’t want to be too obvious about it… Like I’ve said before – most men lose the chance by going too hard too soon… He could have played that and landed her. A woman that isn’t interested wouldn’t have sent anything – she was definitely willing to play, till her blew it – Big Time…
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That was my take too – he could have riffed off the pic so easily – she WANTED him too – but no….all butthurt.
I’d have gone with something like “Oh, I see the full brazilian didn’t work so well” or….”4 fingers? I dunno……”
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I went too hard on getting a date once in texts with a girl who liked me. Now I know better how to have handled the situation, but I look back on it as “Better to say something than to have never even tried.”
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Well… that was odd.
Was at a house party last night hosted by a live-in couple. A plump but still curvy 6 showed interest in me, so I figured why not, and hung out with her for a bit (including heavy, sexual kino). After a while she disappeared. I then was hanging out with the hostess. She is a smoking-hot 8 but, while she seemed to show sexual interest in me, and gave me her number about a month ago, and are now Facebook friends, I more or less ignored her because of her live-in relationship, as well as the fact that she doesn’t stalk my Facebook profile.
She mentioned to me and another guy there that the 6 and the host — her boyfriend — were in his room screwing. As the 6 gave off a desperate slut vibe, that didn’t surprise me. But I was a bit mystified at the hostess’ lack of concern about her boyfriend; I figured if he was alpha enough to get an HB8 live-in girlfriend, he would be able to bang less-attractive sluts without the girlfriend minding too much. The other guy asked for an explanation, and the hostess stated that she and her boyfriend were polyamorous. A little later, due to how she was angling her body while standing by me, I slid my hand onto her bare inner thigh. She let out a purring contralto chuckle. As I suspected…
I’m still a bit confused about the polyamory. CH has stated that polyamorists tend to be sexual rejects scraping the bottom of the barrel, but that doesn’t seem to be the case here.
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At the very least, this guy is entitled. He will get more pussy with this type of game than most men.
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True. But what the kind of girls he gets will never satisfy him. Therefore he is as frustrated as the other guys plus that he constantly fucks up the day of other people.
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“I play hockey….”
Does that work occasionally? Never tried. This badminton swagger gettin me nowhere.
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It works for me (i actually did play hockey) but I don’t use it like this – very indirectly, I casually hint at it in the natural flow of conversation
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Probably….puck girls do tend to be of a better quality.
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Lacrosse is better.
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Nah, they’re more into other girls. No buns in ovens there, sadly…
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When I used to be in my prime shape, girls often asked me what sports do I play. If you have to mention your athleticism first, you’re probably not that athletic and you don’t have game either.
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I seek CH wisdom with a question I’ve been mulling over. I was watching TV at a sports bar recently and an eharmony commercial came on. I watch almost no TV anymore and it’s the first time I’ve seen a commercial for this in years. I noticed 4/5 of the men had beta posturing. The last guy had an aloof stance and a facial expression that said “life is my bitch” instead of “my bitch is my life.” Part of 4/5 might be due to directors poking, prodding, and arranging couples to look more “together” and photogenic.
It seems like dating sites are a natural gambit for betas as it frees one from the burden of approaching and therefore appeals to the non-confrontational and unconfident. This also means competition will be weak. Dating sites also seem to be favored by female bernankefied thirty-somethings who realized they don’t want to die alone and they’d like everybody to care about them for a day when she gets to throw an opulent party and stuff herself into a white dress. The hilarious fake “I love cats” dating profile video comes to mind.
However, could these sites be a possible tool for intelligent men who want a chaste wife (for good reason) so they can focus their efforts by limiting interaction with unwanted demographics? A smart guy knows the tells for looseness and would be able to theoretically better his odds of finding a wife who’s not a lotsa cockas (or is even a no-cockas before marriage) type to start a stable family with rather than investing a lot of time cruising likely venues (extremely traditional conservative churches/seminaries/universities etc.).
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@CH:
Need your help.
I think this girl has actually fallen in love with me… What does this change and what does it not change?
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Billy –
actually having the same issue but it might just be a woman using her womanly tricks to change your way of thinking about the relationship.
I like the status quo so I’m going to maintain it, and maybe be a bit careful about cumming inside her in case she wants to have an …accident.
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but it might just be a woman using her womanly tricks to change your way of thinking about the relationship.
Yes. Betas have to watch out for women hunting for beta bux, especially older women with loudly ticking clocks and baby-rabies.
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Yep, Corvinus, you could definitely keep dumping your seed purposelessly in all those cootches, while never getting around to actually propagating that family tree of yours, which was bequeathed to you by billions of years of ancestors [several 100s of 1000s of years of whom were recognizably human].
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Unlike a chimp like myself?
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Yo, homes! It’s my cousin! Wassup, cuz???
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Can we guess? She’s told you that she’s never felt like this about someone before. You’re the 6th guy she’s said that to.
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Insouciant, cheery, almost absentminded assholery works well for me. When she’s lying there beside you afterward, you want to hear her say something along the lines of “You’re such a jerk, but I keep coming back. I hate that about you.” That’s when you reply with a brag, she gives you the Shoulder Punch of Faux Outrage™, and you sleep the sleep of victory.
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Married men probably don’t have to rack their brains for that key phrase. ‘Bad and all as that was, and regardless of whether you regret marrying a 2 pump chump, you’ve made your choice and will have to lie back and think of England til one of us kicks the bucket’
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Going one step further with this….
The token resistance shit-test in the bedroom is still one I occasionally struggle with. What do you do with a girl who still pulls this shit even after you’ve banged ten times or more?
Of course you expect this early in the piece and you use the appropriate game tactics (freeze-out etc) to good effect, but what if it’s still happening when you’ve actually been dating for a couple of months?
At this point it’s not cute, endearing, or worthy of game tactics. It’s fucking annoying.
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One thing you can do…”You know…I’ve been reading about all this Yes Means No stuff and campus rape….you said no – so we’d better stop” and then put on your clothes and leave Or if she’s at your place – tell her she should leave now. Calmly, matter of factly – and even with an exaggerated sense of concern. Really play it up – but you gotta leave.
The key here, is that you’ve been rewarding her bad behavior she puts up LMR – and you still give her dick and your attention. If you don’t want the behavior – don’t reward it.
Plenty of other angles too – but that’s the key problem – she’s been “rewarded” for putting up LMR – time to break the behavior string.
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I don’t buy these “take off and leave the bitch” solutions. How about fixing the problem, rather than applying dynamite to it?
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Brilliant idea mentioning rape, that certainly sets the mood.
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I would call her ass out and be ready to walk. If you’ve jammed her 10 times and she still puts up asd, she’s a crazy
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You gotta be a lil careful of pre-charging convos. Usually it will go something like this. Me: What u doin – Her: Gonna watch the news – Me: Can I swing by – Her: sure. She knows were gonna watch the news and then bang so a lot of the time you dont need to say anything about banging. There should be no resistance at all, she should be looking forward to it. She either wants a relationship, or you are freaking her out with over sexualizing things. Maybe shes got a bf? I would ping her about it… Minimal contact, then wait for her to invite you over, and if she does then you can ask you seem to have hangups when I swing by whats up with that. Chances are she will be caught a little off guard by this and you might catch her in a moment of honesty. Might being the operative word.
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dread game…
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Describe the resistance you are getting in some more detail. How are you getting past it now? Where are you most of the time, alone in her place or are others (roomates) around etc? What do you mean by “dating”? Are you both exclusive and she knows that? Run through the last time this happened.
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All things considered, the pic she sent was quite clever.
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Choking-the-cat.
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CH why did you post a picture of a brown chicken?
Thats a waste of good rope.
Couldn’t find a white one?
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the white ones were too busy running from darkies with their pants down.
turn-it-around rape!
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She ran perfect game… also demonstrates the value to women of the shit test… easily screened out a sub par suitor. I imagine she texted this to all her friends and they had a good laugh.
So many guys miss the boat, seduction, actual seduction – with some give and take and building up anticipation – is really a lost art these days. To many guys trying to be “Alpha-Man – all Alpha all the time”, must win every battle.
Is it really losing when you know you are letting her win?
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when @yareally talks about how pick up was deconstructed from watching how hot girls acted… this is it in action. Her frame can’t get any more solid… Manster fried circuits…
Her frame is so solid because she has an abundance mentality, as the one who controls access to sex and can turn on the tap whenever she wants… this is the frame you want to have. easy breezy
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are you people insane? I have been sent pictures of either cats or pussies dozens of times. chicks like to play around too, it’s not that big of a deal nor is it representative of some effing “frame”…she sent a picture of a goddamned cat.
can you spergs just PLEASE STOP ANALYZING EVERYTHING?
[CH: i agree that there’s some overanalyzing here, but frames don’t have to be intentional. in fact, most of the time a woman’s frame is an emergent property of her fleeting feelings in the moment. that doesn’t mean you still shouldn’t try to reframe her.]
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Good for you Trav! and then what…?
You are either in your frame or their frame. LOL
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I was thinking the same thing, it was very clever and witty. It would make me think “I like this girl, she has a sense of humor”. CH’s response picture is spot on ! I would add one bit of spice to it – A “rooster” standing proud over his 2 eggs !!
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[…] Source: Heartiste […]
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Spite is a tricky thing.
It’s a poison and a little bit goes a long way; very easy to get your hands dirty.
Ultimately, it makes you look like you’re insecure with poor psychological hygiene.
That’s why I think it turns chicks off; because it’s too much the way another girl would deploy a retort.
The uncaring callous version does many things better. Shows you have: Higher value, no scarcity, limited time, no seriousness to spare on the thoughts of nitwit women, many better things to do, good self-esteem viz. behavior-attribtion, and an understanding of women’s innate masochism & finger-pointing hamsterizations.
It’s tough to get out of at first, because spite can often be the natural result of someone who just has principles;
-but doesn’t yet understand women.
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The other bit about the chick behavior+principles+insecurity+spite+response is that if you go that route, you’re probably going to be skewering her on some core-characteristic of hers, and using wordy-logic.
If you’re just plain callous & dismissive, you end up avoiding her initial defensiveness & leave the options open for her to demonstrate she’s better, by sub-com-ing the judgment that she is not behaving well, that special, or interesting.
-Which can lead to more “Wait, wait, I can do better!”-type hamster-fuel for her.
And you also come out as the lower-relationship-investor, further supporting your position of value, abundance, scarcity of time+attention, etc.
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He’s not an “asshole,” he sounds like a chick. With the ice-breaking “hey,” then an explanation, then a question about what she was willing to do for her.
A better move would have been “i’m touching myself thinking about you, show me what that amazing body looks like….”
If he’s already banged her, that’ll easily do the trick. Sometimes it’ll work even if he hasn’t.
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He sez, Come on. “jus let me put my finger in yur navel” // – ” ooh, ooh, ooh, she says that is not my navel.!”
“Relax chile, that is not my finger…”
I grow weary of the simple shit that writes itself.
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Yes don’t be vicious.
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Here’s a text convo I had with a Tinder girl, which is a another good example of the OP:
Her: Hey, how’s it going?
Me: wow.
Her: Wow?
Me: you look like a nice one
Her: What is that supposed to mean?
Me: a nice fish… a nice GIRL! what did you think it meant.
Her: I didn’t like the way it came across. Word of advice, be more respectful and you may get further.
Me: slow down, i need to be wined and dined first.
Her: Haha oh I see, you’re a traditional lass then?
Her: Drinks?
Good example of what CH is talking about.
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Not sure if this is a real example. But I have blown my top with girls. If you’re relatively calm most times and lose your shit… it works wonders. However…if you’re ALWAYS losing your shit: 1) you’re too invested 2) she’s a complete cunt you shouldn’t be with.
Problem is when you’re too invested, you hate to lose so it becomes your own personal Vietnam…you continue to escalate, invest, pour more resources=more needless drama and eventual collapse.
I’ve now become much more cognizant of the importance and value of “covert” communication over this type.
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So, quick question….what kind of guideline do you follow with regard to 1) and 2)?
A lot of dudes here would say “as soon as she pissed you off ONCE that’s IT.” But realistically, how many times — or what kind of frequency — would it take for you to conclude 2)?
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While I can’t brag about a crazy number of girls, I can brag about my relationships usually turn up the way I want them to be. It’s simple: don’t give a shit about the relationship and just care about you enjoying it. When she’s more of a hassle than the enjoyment she gives you, next her.
For example, her needing help is all cute if it’s rare, but if she’s actually helpless, the relationship will be a chore. If she pisses you off so that you fuck her hard, it’s cute. If she’s constantly being a cunt, you’re either doing something wrong or she’s insane. Either way, quit the relationship. The reality is that all of us know when the relationship isn’t worth it, it’s just that often the crazier the girl, the hotter the sex so we get trapped by the sex bait.
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@scray This is a good question. I’ve written at length about my crazy ex gf who was an extreme example of someone with the worst traits of BPD.
I would say that you have to trust your gut on this and not get confused by the push-pull dynamic of a girl who brings out the worst in you.
The dynamic at play in this original text is one of a guy who’s need for validation overshadows his sense of self.
GF not putting out=I must not be good enough…means must put foot down on this bad behavior=over-reacting angry asshole.
Girls start to show these signs early on. We as guys tend to overlook them if the girl is hot or we’re getting banged.
The bottom line: if you’re doing all the work and getting luke-warm responses, pull back. Exercise some self-discipline.
Go slower and lead the interaction with tighter game.
Have more things on the go so a girl’s stupid behaviours don’t set you off.
This is mind over matter.
When to let go? When this type of thing becomes the norm and you feel like blowing up more often than not.
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Heartiste – need some tips on working around this new California law for the game-aware beta. Not naturally Alpha and pretty average on the looks scale so rape accusations are a concern.
**One thing you can do…”You know…I’ve been reading about all this Yes Means No stuff and campus rape….you said no – so we’d better stop” and then put on your clothes and leave Or if she’s at your place – tell her she should leave now. Calmly, matter of factly – and even with an exaggerated sense of concern. Really play it up – but you gotta leave.***
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Text “Doan’ make me choke my monkey” with a monkey pic.
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Honestly…. I think that being this type of asshole will get you more fucked over with girls especially if you hang out with a laaaarge group of girls like sorority girls.
Use your assholeness in a careful manner.
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Moreso than being beta.
If your girlfriend is gone you say.
“Hey gf is gone but wanted to get a spontaneous bite real for a sec” or “drink”
Not “send me pussy pics whore”
That a nuke for not only her…but her whole friend group
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@ch I would love love love if you did some analysis for gaming hb 9s post fucking them.
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assholes lose their temper with people. a dick keeps cool and lets others get emotionally riled up
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lead em out into the deep water….
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You haven’t lived until you’ve been hung from a tree.
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When thwack gets hung, not even the willow will weep.
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When thwack gets hung, not even the willow will weep.
Duh… hanged.
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My asshole text game is tight, yo.
“Don’t look behind you…”
Rape!
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That was funny. That guy makes being butthurt cool. That chick isn’t going anywhere she will stick around at a distance and the guy will get another shot. Shit, he plays hockey.
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Here’s a scenario: you’re at a wedding and someone says a joke at the expense of the best looking maid of honor(and that shows the most skin in pictures). People laugh and she figures out they’re laughing at her and asks some indignant question to show her butthurtedness about it such as what are you laughing at or equally socially off stuff.
Considering antagonizing her might blow over into the relationship between the bride and the groom, you can’t actually employ asshole game.
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Did people quit developing wordpress? Because the comment bug is passe by now.
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That is,
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the answer should have been
Her: pussy and fingers included
Me; Think your pussy needs a shave
Her: pussy and fingers included.
Me: your feeding your pussy to much whiskas
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Her: pussy and fingers included
Me: pffffffffffffffffffffffffffftttttttttttttttttt, your doing it wrong woman… fingers arnt wet
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a) Since when do hockey players have to *ask*?
b) The only good thing about this entire post is the cat pic. Everything else is a pool of puke.
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Anytime a girl does something flippant like this to me, I respond in a bored Simon Cowel / American Idol sort of way
Like texting back a terse “3/10” or “is that the best you can do”. It’s a lot better/more fun to do in person by not saying anything but having a completely unimpressed or slightly disgusted facial expression
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That dude is such a loser he is probably going to convert to islam so he can force his sister into marrying him.
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