In big and small ways, social science studies have a habit of confirming many CH precepts. The latest finds that expensive diamond engagement rings and expensive wedding ceremonies are inversely associated with marriage duration.
This study was done by professors from Emory University. They found that U.S. adults who spent large amounts of money on engagement rings and/or their weddings were more likely to end up divorced!
According to the research, men who spent $2,000 to $4,000 were 1.3 times more likely to end up divorced than men who spent $500 to $2,000.
And when it comes to weddings, if you have a wedding that costs more than $20,000, you’re more likely to end up in “Splitsville!”
The average cost of a wedding in the U.S. is $30,000, according to “The Knot.”
Expensive rings and weddings are classic provider beta male game. And, as science is showing and the Chateau has warned, beta male game is ultimately self-defeating. Women don’t fall in love with a wallet; they fall in love with a man. They don’t desire a mate guarder who has to pay fidelity money; they desire a self-assured jerkboy who expects love free of charge.
And if you’re dating a princess who demands a big ring or ostentatious wedding, my advice is simple: Run. Don’t look back. The next day, you can admire the bulge of your full bank account and your spared dignity. I just saved you from hitching yourself to a woman who couldn’t really love you without a large gift bag included in the deal.
What studies like this one uncover is a bidirectional sexual market feedback loop: On one vector, you have a weak man who feels it necessary to pay for love and supplicate to his fiancee’s gaudy selfishness. On the other vector, you have an unenthusiastic woman who knows she is settling for a less desirable man in a trade-off between exciting sexiness and boring security, and who therefore feels empowered to make her sloppy second beta pay tribute to her in Damegeld. Where these two vectors meet, relationship exactness and complementarity trump love, and subcurrents of divorce are never far from cresting the polished dinner party surface.
If you pay the Damegeld, you’ll soon be rid of the Dame.
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da gbfm is requiring a miniumz
$10,000,000 dowery
in gold
to be deposited in
a swiss bank account
with the following formula at work
GBFM dowery =
$10,000,000 +
# of times she’s been gina sexed out of wedlock * $1,000,000
# of times she’s been buttcokedz out of wedlock * $1,000,000
# of times she’s *really* been buttcokedz out of wedlock * $2,000,000
as SCIENCE hath shown dat a womensz soul is shoved out of mouth and into teh ether never to be reuninted agian via the bernankifying act of buttcocking, the RISK of marriage thusly increases in direct proprotion to said womns butthexting berenkififtatctcionzlzlzozolzozlzozzl.
zlozozozozozolzlozozol
your engagement ringz will be a
peral pearl neckalcez
lzozozozlzooozooozozz
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Well, you know what they say, you don’t pay prostitutes to f*ck you, you pay them to leave afterwards. Why would an expensive engagement ring or wedding be fundamentally any different?
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[…] Science Continues Vindicating Heartistian Worldview […]
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If a woman won’t take your name in marriage, DON’T MARRY HER, PERIOD. She’ll be all about claiming your name during the divorce though.
P.S. O.T.: Heartise, I have a meme for you. It relates to St. Louis.
“Hands Up, Don’t Knock-Out Game”
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No rings for the wife or me. We still wear the clothes we bought for the wedding (for her, a simple dress; for me, a new tie and jacket). We got hitched in my parents’ backyard in front of 10 people. That was 15 years ago.
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That’s boss! 15 years is a century in today’s divorce-ridden age. Congrats!
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Isn’t the woman’s father responsible for the cost of the wedding?
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Totally true. Marriage is a mercenary business deal, no matter his much romance temporarily disables the reason and makes the partners think otherwise. It’s a very conditional love, based on transient traits and assets, regardless of how much the partners swear their live us unconditional. The partners might luck out incredibly and go for decades with mutual interests and motivations that don’t diverge, but then again, they might both win the lottery. Romance is general anesthesia of reason.
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IMHO: The cost of the rings/shower/wedding isn’t important. What’s important is the support of family & friends. Community expectations, lotsa eyeballs on the newlyweds. Nothing like nosy neighbors to discourage screwing around.
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Right. Imagine if you had to assemble all your wedding guests in order to get a divorce. Probably three quarters of the marriages could be saved if those people offered to help the couple in need by various means to get them through. Divorce is not in the community interest. Being a wedding attendant is more than wearing a pretty dress. To me, it implies a commitment to the couple’s commitment. That said, I have never been asked to be in anybody’s wedding 😉
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Count yourself lucky. I’ve already been in four Bridezilla weddings. On the plus side, I definitely know what I DON’T want. I definitely don’t want to force my friends to pay $300 for an ugly dress they’ll never wear again.
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Okay, I will 🙂
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Except if she pays for the wedding… and her own goddamn engagement ring.
(Seen it happen)
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I let my wife, buy her own ring on Groupon for $20.
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I broke down and provided the cake:
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this could also demonstrate a split between urban status whoring and rural traditional values. The latter less likely to afford or splurge on a ring.
The beta provider angle is apt, but the status whoring nexus shouldn’t be ignored: I’d imagine likelihood of posting a picture of one’s engagement ring on a social media network correlates similarly with divorce rate.
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lol
http://www.cnn.com/2014/10/15/opinion/schwartz-single-women/index.html?hpt=hp_t3
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Pepper Schwartz is professor of sociology at the University of Washington and the author of many books, the latest of which is “The Normal Bar.” She is the love and relationship ambassador for AARP and writes the Naked Truth column for AARP.org. She is also a senior fellow at the Council on Contemporary Families, a nonprofit organization that gathers research on American families.
PhD in Sociology… call her Doctor Pepper, thank you very much.
Yet another (ahem) frontrunner not controlling the media.
zozlzozlzozlzozlzozlzozlzozlzozlzolzozlzolzozlozlzol
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In the Count of Monte Christo, Edmund Dantes fiancé uses a string as a ring. This always stuck in my head and could be used a test for the modern woman to see if she is a materialistic succubus. If you must get married, then propose with no ring. If she gets angry dump that hoe. Since love is constant it can’t be measured my a ring
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The bottom line is that a woman who really loves you won’t WANT to put financial pressure on you. Yes, we love gifts, particularly from a man who rarely gives them, because it’s special and meaningful. So yes, a girl who loves you will still want a ring from you. But cost shouldn’t matter. It will be meaningful because you chose it and bought it for her, not because it’s big and expensive.
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The study also says that marriages where the engagement ring was less than $500 are more likely to end in divorce. When it comes to marriage, there is such a thing as caring too little.
[CH: if you’re going to err, err on the side of too little investment. that option is more salvageable.]
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Yes, yes, and yes. Spent loads on a ring and wedding that only she–and parents–really wanted. How I let it happen in a moment of weakness, I’ll never understand. Wish I knew then what I know now.
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Damegeld. LOL A much needed laugh. Personally, I’d like a sapphire. They’re so beautiful. But, even those are “blood gems,” so best to go the “lab-created” route. And, they are less expensive.
At the moment, I have a three dollar necklace, which I like as much as anything 🙂
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For a moment, I thought you said “I’d like a sappho”…
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My own personal poet from the island of Lesbos? Thanks, but no thanks 🙂
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Since my wedding cost $250, I guess my husband made out well? (Married 11 years to a gorgeous Alpha and the envy of every woman in a 300 mile radius…) Besides, money won’t make me scream in the sack like my husband will. 🙂
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Actually, (I hate to tell you this) but you *may* be in an abusive relationship. You should NOT allow your husband to put you in a sack. Calmly but firmly tell him that he is not Borat and you are not Pamela Anderson. Screaming will not help. I believe this marriage can be saved once he realizes no one is happy in burlap.
😉
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It’s funny how feminist propaganda sounds like butthurt whining, innit?
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I need statistics on just how many families are single income relying on the man’s earnings to believe that this is a very common occurrence. I just don’t believe it is. I want to stop the perpetration of the myth that there is some man out there just waiting to whisk young women off for a life in the upper class/upper middle class. I think most people subsisting on one income are making a lot of sacrifices, and I’m not sure how realistic it is to expect a man to support women in our times.
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Bought ring cheap, planned wedding in 7 days. invited 20 people, over 60 showed up. still going strong after 19 years. Bridezilla can rot in hell.
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What a great story!
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It could also be the case that when more money is involved there is more incentive to get a divorce (2 to 4K wedding ring). As for cheap rings, well, proles be prolling.
[CH: proles could teach urban SWPLs a thing or two.]
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They should do a study with wedding cost / income ratio
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[…] Source: Heartiste […]
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Had to spring for a $5K rock as part of my nuptials in vietnam. At least when we were shopping for rings the viet sales gals would proffer their ample tits for me to gaze at longingly while my fiance firmed up her decision.
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If I recall, $5K would pretty much feed an entire village for about a decade.
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One could do some serious brothel surfing with that kinda dough.
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Viet nog girls have “ample” tits?
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My buddy’s wife told me that her two lesbo friends spent over three grand on pictures alone! One of which is a huge portrait they keep in the main hallway. Total SWPL when I first met them. The one girl looked hella old for only being 30, but seems to be she let herself be pumped and dumped and got tired of no cuddle time. What was funny is older people were asking them were there husbands were. That marriage will end soon.
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Watched this video the other day of some NBC show ‘Marry Me’. Displays of total romantic (beta) abandon. You can almost sense her pussy lips closing shut through each stage, culminating in the rejection of a kiss. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SWP2bW5B0Zw&feature=youtu.be&t=5m6s
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Corroborating data point: married 20 years, wife never cheated, wedding cost exactly $100 plus the price of a couple of extremely basic gold rings.
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A divorce is paying a woman to go away as well, it’s just that it is a bad bargain compared to a whore.
ALTHOUGH, I bet if you calculated the number of wife-bangs and divided it into the total divorce bill, it might somehow come out to be a similar rate, as though there were some cosmic $$/orgasm ratio for men.
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Really learned a lot from this site!
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I gave my wife a 1/6 carat diamond in a white gold ring for less than $300. The wedding cost less than $2,000, held on the family farm. So I should be doing good according to the study.
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If any of you fellas would read the tiny linked article/study. It says 2,000 to 4,000 for the high end??!! Heck for 2,000 you get laughed out of most jewelry stores for engagement rings. On the flip side 500 for a ring? Seems like people who buy lucky charms rings or fool’s gold probably aren’t from the nicest parts of town and boy don’t those marriages last!! Over 10K, I surely do buy this result. But as it stands bull.
And I am by no means wealthy either. I had just lost my job and was starting a small contractor business when I got married. Spent more than 2K but didn’t go crazy. Never even considered her ring to be anything but a bargain level one. Been five good years.
As for wedding prices. Absolutely. They are princess parties for childish adult princesses. Nothing more. This is where the study should have focused. I’ve been to Camelot type weddings and they are divorced before I get home.
My wife and I married on a mountain in Gatlinburg after I paid a biker preacher 85 bucks to officially marry us in the state of TN. Wore a suit and tie and her dress cost 100 bucks. Still use both. We ate at Longhorn that night and made love for 3 straight days in a nice cabin. Total cost was about 700 bucks of which maybe 200 was for the actual wedding.
Women are becoming like the rest of the West, predictably stupid. They signal sluttiness, infidelity, even if they are even remotely marriageable. If your girl demands an expensive ring and you both aren’t rich, walk. Right there. Don’t look back. Bang a hot chick asap and breathe a sigh of relief.
If she wants a princess wedding and her daddy will pay for it, let her, but consider it a bad mark on her record. If she wants you to pay for it, leave and then bang her best friend, mom, or both. Seriously.
I sometimes wonder why game is even needed in the coming years. If you have balls and a decent IQ, it’s like fish in a barrel.
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I gave her a 30 dollar ebay ring and got married in juvie
I think I’ll be okay
Though 6 months later I splurged on a 300 dollar one, so maybe not.
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[…] Science: Don’t buy a big ring. […]
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Not being an American, I find one of the ways you can often spot an American woman is by the size of her wedding ring. They have the biggest wedding rings out of any other nationality.
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I guess I picked the middle ground on this – I bought an engagement ring (estate sale, few hundred bucks Canadian) and got down on one knee. She got a dress at a bridal show pretty cheap (and we used the material to have a baptism gown made for our first child). I bought a new suit.
We had a church wedding (I am a Christian) and a little reception in the hall right after for those who came (about 200) where we cut the cake and visited with our guests. We had a small dinner at a nice local restaurant with our inner circle. Paid the bar tab. The whole thing was less than $5k – about what my wife’s cousin paid for her wedding dress the year before!
I think some of that was for me, I am traditional and I believe in marriage as a sacrament – so cheap and quick doesn’t suit my understanding of such things. I like the celebration, but not as a “this is the bride’s day” affair.
It’s been 17 years and counting.
I’ve been to quite a few weddings in my time, and many of them sickened me with their excess, and the fairy tale princess bride vibe of the whole thing. It’s an important day for husband and wife, but also for their respective families and the community. That should be the context for any decisions regarding its celebration.
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