A reader passed along a link to a post from what I believe is a satire website, called ‘The Reductress’. The post title is ‘Nicholas Sparks’ Wife: Romantic Gestures Are Not Orgasms’. It’s funny, if stylistically pedestrian.
“She really was my muse,” Nicholas said of the former lending company account executive, who he proposed to in a thunderstorm but never let try a girl-on-top position.
The humor is accessible because it does say something truthful about the sexes. Women say they love romance, and in certain contexts they do, but grand romantic gestures never did do nothing for their vaginas that a jerkboy attitude and an impudent boner didn’t already do.
Romance is dangerous beta bait. Books and movies have genres dedicated to the proposition that sappy romance wins women’s hearts and gines. I don’t doubt that women sincerely love immersing themselves in romantic escapes, but to extrapolate from that arid swoon a real world wet desire by women for pre-schtup sentimental schlock is an inference error that will cost you more lays than avoiding displays of romance altogether.
Don’t chomp the bait. Romance can’t spark attraction. It can only reinforce love. You will never part a woman’s legs with a love poem. Usually the opposite will happen; your LLoyd Dobler love sonnet performance paying loose tribute to the movie scene that shook your amour to joyful tears in a dark theater will have a decidedly less aphrodisiacal effect on her in the bright amphitheater of humanwave transmission.
Maxim #49: Romance isn’t foreplay. Romance is, at best, seasoning on an established sexual relationship.
Corollary to Maxim #49: A premature romantic gesture will have the opposite of its intended effect on a high SMV woman. Untethered romance is a DLV.
Hey, I’m a romantic just like most men. I’ve given myself over to the mush side on occasion, and it was nearly always a mutually enjoyable experience. The one weird trick I used to ensure mutual enjoyment? I never sapped it up with a girl I hadn’t yet tapped. I learned that lesson early in life. Save your romantic wanderlust for girls accustomed to your lumberthrust. They’ll be much more appreciative than the girls who have a band of betas lavishing them with jizz-stained testimonials of enduring obsession.
Reiterating, this is how women perceive romance:
Post-sex romance = surprise love.
Pre-sex romance = sex-starved ploy.
Naturally, the demanding male logos asks, “Then why, if women don’t tingle for romantic twaddle, do they devour representations of romantic twaddle?”
You’ve got to consider the psychological prestidigitation of the female mind. There are two self-medications being administered here.
One, when a woman melts during a romantic movie, she’s not thinking of Bob the Beta photobooth weirdo wooing her as if she were Amelie in her own little gay Paree. She’s not even thinking of a sexy but strangely asexual alpha man doing that. Instead, she’s metamorphosing the romance porn into relationship victory. A cute girl has little trouble getting sex from a man, but converting that coin of the clam into a long-term investment is exponentially tougher. Male romantic abandon, viewed from this perspective, is cause for a victory dance by a woman who now has evidence she succeeded taming the dude. This female perspective is always tinged with a tacit subconscious understanding that sex was already happening, or destined to happen, somewhere out of immediate sight, and it was therefore the allure of her nonsexual charms that truly won the man over.
Two, women have a queer ability to imagine themselves as the protagonist in rom-coms, even when the protagonist is a man (as they often are). This is a bit of inverse projection by women, as they identify with the lovelorn “beta man” who is desperate to capture the love of the emotionally distant “alpha woman”. The male character’s romantic exertions remind women of the efforts they undergo to win the commitment of the hard-to-get alpha man. In this body swap, women see something of themselves in striver Romeos, especially that something which speaks to a woman’s craving for acknowledgement of her feelings. But of course, what women don’t see is the involuntary sexlessness that typically bedevil beta male characters, because women can’t relate to incel with the ease that they relate to insol.
[…] Romance Isn’t Foreplay […]
LikeLike
I’m trying to understand these posts/blogs, but the terminology is confusing. Is there a dictionary?
LikeLiked by 1 person
I’m pretty sure it’s a trackback link for an aggregator website.
LikeLike
I’ve a theory that I hope doesn’t undo most of the effort I’ve made to transcend early beta-hood. The only women a guy should put on any sort of pedestal and love absent of any accomplishment or reciprocated attention are his own daughters. There are boundaries, of course, and it’s possible to be unseemly about it. But that sort of devotion is only meant for our own children. not for women to whom we’re attracted.
LikeLike
This made me think of the book Pride and Prejudice. I read it years ago and recently re-read it through a TRP lens. I was impressed with how “honest” the book was with respect to Elizabeth’s desires. Maybe I’m off base, but here’s a neat quote from the movie that seems relevant:
Elizabeth Bennet: And that put paid to it. I wonder who first discovered the power of poetry in driving away love?
Mr. Darcy: I thought that poetry was the food of love.
Elizabeth Bennet: Of a fine stout love, it may. But if it is only a vague inclination I’m convinced one poor sonnet will kill it stone dead.
Mr. Darcy: So what do you recommend to encourage affection?
Elizabeth Bennet: Dancing. Even if one’s partner is barely tolerable.
Check it out if you find yourself funemployed and with lots of time on your hands.
LikeLike
Excellent and without doubt 100% correct. The large majority of the “nice guy” contingent don’t grasp this simple concept. Ever notice in most “rom com” movies the chick is dating/banging a jerk before the beta gets his chance. Tis the way of the world.
Also, for the amusement of the CH brethren. A reality show about land whales looking for love:
http://nypost.com/2015/01/06/life-as-a-big-woman-looking-for-big-love/
LikeLike
No wonder they are so pathetically lonely. They strive for men exponentially above their league and reject the ones actually interested in them.
““There’s a difference between liking someone for who they are and turning it into a fetish thing,” says Servance, who once had a man ask to squeeze her butt cheeks on a date.”
Asses were made to be squeezed. Methinks she’s a confused lesbian.
LikeLike
They are made to be squeezed. But you can see here that even a land-whale with low SMV is disgusted by the beta behavior of asking permission instead of confidently grabbing and squeezing.
I anticipate cognitive overload in Kalifornia universities over the next few years as betas experience this cold fact with the new consent crap.
LikeLike
Oh my acheing sides. Check out the summaries of each girl at the end of the article. We have a fat female Urkel, a slut, a single mom, a hypocrite, and a unicorn hunter (wanting a tattooed AND clean cut man).
LikeLike
How well would a post-coital romantic gesture go over? Something above and beyond offering her a cigarette?
LikeLike
Nothing says romance like Plan B
LikeLike
Meh a bottle of water is always appreciated after a thorough stretchin it out.
LikeLike
Glass of water and a towel.
LikeLike
Such as….?
I always thought cuddling was romantic until I learned (here) that it means nothing, other than a means of self-protection against psychos. Lol
LikeLike
I recall the 60’s era Playboy Advisor recommending that you light a cigarette during sex if you want a woman to dump you.
LikeLike
So basically women just have a very bizarre and weird way of thinking about things, splendid. The whole romantic media industry just seems like one big large mental backflip now. Well, anyways, I am curious if this takes love letters completely off the table then. I was thinking about writing one or two to express interest except a) they would be for people I actually know and b) they would not be romantic, probably more tongue in cheek and direct. Has anyone tried that? I wonder if women would even read them.
LikeLike
Love letters in an established relationship might be okay, but they are almost never a good idea to announce your interest in someone. Think someone will be glad to hear you love them in a written note? Think again! Writing suggests that the interest is one-sided to begin with; otherwise, you’d just be having a conversation with them. I hate to squelch your enthusiasm, but its better to leave the romance for after you’re in the relationship.
LikeLike
I can’t speak for anyone else, but I wouldn’t recommend writing “love” letters, per se. Especially if, as our host has pointed out, you aren’t already banging the girl.
But I WAS involved in a long distance relationship with a woman (non-exclusive), and I told her that I don’t like texting. I suggested we exchange hand written letters instead. (Mostly because, in the long run it would take up a hell of a lot less time than the two hour text conversations that she wanted to have every day.) She loved it. Ate it up. “This is SOOOO romantic!” Turned out to be a win-win for me.
LikeLike
You can’t trigger attraction over text!
If you can’t do it face to face so you can fuck her brains out, why even bother?
LikeLike
Agree with Kate.
I think id avoid the letter thing. Maybe just be upfront in a tongue and cheek way instead of writing it.
I think most women might think the love letter is “cute and sweet” but may also laugh it off and friend zone you?
Women aren’t always as romantic as you guys think we are. We like it but only once we’ve determined we LIKE YOU in an intimate matter.
[CH: it cuts against media propaganda, but men are distinctly more romantic than women.]
LikeLike
dude I posted a link the other day (not sure if it got published) to a website with college girls commenting and MAKING FUN of guys who want relationships or any kind of romance in college, lecturing the guys that they just want casual sex
LikeLike
Agree with Kate’s point also. Love letters if you dont love him too are not good. I am not sure if it is the same the other way around also, women giving love letters to men.
LikeLike
“I am not sure if it is the same the other way around also, women giving love letters to men.”
I can say without a doubt, yes. I’ve read too many women’s stories about being overenthusiastic (and experienced it myself) to know how it can ruin something that might have worked out if one had just been a little bit more restrained.
The difference between a stalker and devotion is whether or not you like the person.
LikeLike
An old saying: men are romantics pretending to be realists; women are realists pretending to be romantics.
LikeLike
I’d really love an example of this. Men forget anniversaries. They hate Valentine’s Day (I do too, but most girls don’t) and aren’t particularly thoughtful of others the way women are. I’m not criticizing this behavior at all; it’s masculine and being romantic and thoughtful is feminine and it all works out. But now are you telling me men are more romantic than women and just suppress it? Because I must say you’re all doing a great job. Lol
LikeLike
True, however certainly women SHOULD be (more) romantic though.
LikeLike
Romance is beautiful as a butterfly on a horse’s cock.
LikeLike
Anniversaries and VD are basically occasions where the woman demands the man publically declare his commitment to the relationship. Remind me, are there any similar regular occasions where the woman ritually declares her romantic feelings?
LikeLike
Ah, all the romantic stories written by men. Cinderella, Snow White, Sleeping Beauty – these stories would not exist if the men of yore didn’t want them to be perpetuated. Then there’s the classic image of the man stringing a lute under a woman’s balcony. Again, it exists because men made it so. France in the Middle Ages was very much into Amour, especially southern France which was thought of by the rest as the place where love reigned. (Southern France being an independent country, Languedoc, until the Catholics invaded because Languedoc allowed Cathar Christianity.) Tales of romance were based on this region and told by traveling bards. Bards who were, of course, men. What story about knights does not include a story about his love for a lady? This stories were definitely written by male bards for entertainment.
Shakespeare and others also wrote about romance constantly.
Romance comes from women raising the cost of sex. They want the man to jump through hoops to prove that he is prepared to invest time, effort and resources. That shows he is more likely to stick around and care for the woman’s children after the sex has made her pregnant.
So are men more romantic than women? I don’t know. But I think this means that while men are romantic out of necessity, men are the ones who expand on it intellectually, turn it into something bigger than mere necessity would dictate.
Women, of course, will always have an interest in such an expansion, since it benefits their survival that romance is a major focus. And since it is the one theme that doesn’t divide people, it is the go-to theme in entertainment, giving it exposure far out of proportion to its importance. (I am not saying this as a complaint – all of this is logical.)
One reason why I like heavy metal is that the genre bases music on other things than love. Variation.
LikeLike
For women, romance is roses on a piano…
… for men, tulips on an organ.
LikeLike
@Amy, we hate Valentine’s Day because it’s a retarded day when we’re supposed to spend money on meaningless baubles to evidence our romantic impulses and love. Women don’t like Valentine’s Day because of their romantic nature, they like it because everyone likes getting gifts and having their ass kissed. Not being American is pretty cool though because I’ve always told women I simply don’t believe in Valentine’s Day. lol
If there was a holiday called Heartiste day and women had to get anally defiled by their boyfriends on that day, you wouldn’t like that day either, even though some might misconstrue it as romantic.
“aren’t particularly thoughtful of others the way women are.”
Thoughtful means showing consideration. Men give seats away when on mass transit, open doors, give you their coat when it’s chilly etc. What exactly do women do?
“But now are you telling me men are more romantic than women and just suppress it? ”
It’s how I lost my virginity. Wanting a woman to love meant having to find one that’s good enough, which wasn’t possible even in Eastern Europe at the time and my romantic predisposition didn’t get any takers. Having two social groups with which I partied, a group of former high-school classmates that are pretty cool, traveling with uni classmates and having a facile access to drugs is what got me laid. Getting moist eyes at maudlin movies or liking to do things for others is just stupid when it comes to women. I’m nicer to men than I am to women because of it(as in if I had to choose between a random man and a random woman to get a beer from me, it will be a random man). It’s not because I’m mean, I sometimes fight my impulse to be nice, it’s because of what makes you feel butterflies in your stomach and your pussy tingle. Romantic men isn’t that.
To me, romantic behavior only has a place in a relationship with a girl I want to take on an emotional journey. I’m not great at the pick up part, but I consider all my prior relationships to have been unique in the sense that each girl aroused different emotions into me and I’ve done the same to them. Each girl has a different set of emotions that motivates her and if she has a romantic predisposition, surprising her with romantic gestures, especially when you create contrast to prior treatment, works. Being a romantic guy in general? It simply gets girls to forward me your attempts to seduce for us to mock.
LikeLike
Oh come now, I said they would be tongue in cheek and NOT romantic. Why do it? Because who would do a damned thing like that, that’s why. It’s eye catching and has a hint of sophistication, certainly better than regurgitated pickup lines from mystery method. Besides, men used to do this sort of thing all the time. There are letters that did just this sort of thing during the great wars. And what about tinder and all that if writing won’t work?
LikeLike
You could try it if you really want to — you’ve got nothing to lose. Just know it likely won’t be succesful.
LikeLike
Martin, if you have an overwhelming desire to communicate via snail mail, then send them an obnoxious post card from a happening tourist destination like the Alps or the RIviera.
LikeLike
If you’re in the Alps, then send them a postcard like this, where you’ve written some playful teasing soft-negs or whatever:
LikeLike
God Martin, you’re stuck on this gay letter thing aren’t you? The line between “tongue-in-cheek” and “OMG I WUV U!” Is her level of knowledge of your sense of humor. And considering how fast your rationalization hamster is running to make this not gay in your own head, it’s probably a lost cause.
You sir, need to grow a pair.
LikeLike
listen, don’t dismiss everything that all of us men, with plenty of experience are telling you. your letter thing is not going to work. the girls will mock you. leave the blue horn on the wall.
LikeLike
Sign that letter and you’ll be signing your own (poon) death warrant.
LikeLike
Your first clue on why not to do it is “hint of sophistication”. If your desiring any kind of physical contact – this isn’t the way to get there. That ranks up there with extravagant diners, expensive wine, etc. That is for after a relationship exists. Don’t forget that women go for thugs, jerks, murders, bank robbers, pretty much everybody, before they go for nice guys. Fear and excitement is what revs up the hamster. None of that points to “sophistication” getting you DHV up front for sex later.
Letters during the “great wars”? There were more Dear John letters than ones that weren’t from already established relationships that were successful. If the women in pen-pal arrangements stayed faithful it was because of lack of opportunity.
Somehow I doubt any successful Tinder campaign is going to look much different from the suggestions to be obnoxious.
LikeLike
I wouldn’t do it, martin. She’ll think you’re afraid to approach her in person.
LikeLike
“So basically women just have a very bizarre and weird way of thinking about things, splendid. ”
No, you’re just stupid and it’s beyond your grasp, I guess.
” I was thinking about writing one or two to express interest except a) they would be for people I actually know and b) they would not be romantic, probably more tongue in cheek and direct. ”
I’d think you’re an inveterate loser being passive-aggressive if I was female. If you want to do tongue in cheek things, do something effortless and self amusing.
LikeLike
>No, you’re just stupid and it’s beyond your grasp, I guess.
Apparently you can’t detect when people are being facetious, particularly in the article’s context of how women _actually_ view romantic media. May I suggest that before you post next time, you take a moment and think before you act?
LikeLike
Ahhh romance!!
*excuse me while I think about the last romance encounter I had*
Romance is hot when Its not OBJECTS (flowers, candy, material things) it’s hot when it’s subtle and passionate.
The long gaze (with no words) at you while having din din
KINO dropped unexpectedly:
— back rubbing,
— leading you through a crowd by kino by walking behind you with hand on small of back,
–resting hand on your thigh while driving,
— making compliment by way of what he plans to do with you when you are alone 👅
— the unexpected behind hug with his face in your neck
TINGLEVILLE!!!
[CH: This kind of stuff is better classified as game or flirting than romance.]
LikeLike
Well what if your man you’re in a long term relationship does it? It’s not flirting or game.
[CH: romance has a specific connotation… declarations of love, gifts, flattery, moonlit dancing, long walks on the beach sharing visions of a future together, etc]
LikeLike
Ahhh. Ok I agree.
LikeLike
“— leading you through a crowd by kino by walking behind you with hand on small of back,”
Distinctly beta behavior. An alpha gets in front and watches the crowd part like a bow wave from a battleship.
LikeLike
Well you’re not a woman and you’re not me or my vagina. So…
LikeLike
Cosigned. Learning to always walk in front of my woman changed my relationships completely. It’s more important that it seems.
LikeLike
And while you’re walking in front guys are grabbing her booty and hand and making all kinds of gestures to her. Lol it’s happened before.
Oh well. I like him from behind. I feel more protected and safe.
LikeLike
Just watching it makes chicks’ pant. Once you’ve got it down to where people get out of the way all the time, it’s a sure-fire way to set up the same-night-lay.
LikeLike
@Neecy If other guys are grabbing you in proximity to your guy, then that’s also a DLV/non-alpha on his part. Not saying you have a terrible guy, but walking behind is mate guarding, and that’s beta. If he doesn’t have enough presence to keep the other guys off, he’s not an alpha.
LikeLike
Romance: when flying Southwest, your six two husband boards first to get an aisle seat in the emergency exit row and then conspires with other passengers to save you the middle:)
LikeLike
HA! 😝
LikeLike
He’s a keeper Kate!! 😉
LikeLike
Romance: Every time he goes out for cigarettes, he comes back.
hehe 🙂
LikeLike
Romance: when he agrees to sit through bleak foreign films with subtitles while you cry into crumpled tissues.
LikeLike
Awww hahahah How sweet! 🙂 I love foreign films. You get to watch a movie and read at the same time! 😉
LikeLike
My SWA seat strategy when traveling solo: look for a large man in either aisle or window seat in a three-seat row. Take the other (aisle or window) seat in his row and manspread. Nobody will take the middle seat because nobody wants to sit between two men, especially if at least one of them is big, unless it’s a full flight.
LikeLike
haha good tip! 🙂
LikeLike
Amy said ,
Romance: when he agrees to sit through bleak foreign films with subtitles while you cry into crumpled tissues.
Yes it is true and I have been that guy on occasions, but if he does it too often and is too eager to do it, it will have the opposite effect; it will kill the tingles ( or romance whatever you want to call it…)
Amy, and what about you? do you sit with him while he watches world war two movies and cheers when bad guys get killed or when he watches a dvd of some heavy metal band concert played so loud the furniture is shaking?
LikeLike
@CF Hey, I sat through “Django Unchained”, although I can’t say I “watched” it since I had my eyes covered for at least 80% of the time. My bf wanted a refund of my movie ticket. But yes, I went. Lol
LikeLike
It is interesting that Neecy started by saying this was a list of romantic things, but ended with “Tingleville!!!”
It seems that to many women what causes tingles is what they call romantic
while we guys would simply call it stuff that makes her or us horny.
LikeLike
My experience is that women want it all – and in no particularly predictable order – they want both James Bond the gentleman who can decipher an expensive wine list and James Bond the cold-blooded killer who can flip on a dime go all Neanderthal on your ass.
LikeLike
But they definitely want that whole Neanderthal/Vampire/Werewolf sense of primal rage and foreboding of danger lurking somewhere in you. Jesus H Christ do they hate boring and predictable and “Nice”.
LikeLike
And don’t ever get depressed because you held your ground and refused to yield and ended up having a knock-down drag-out fight with your woman. Because you’re about to have the best makeup sex of your life.
LikeLike
How does makeup sex usually come about? I’m young and most of my encounters over the last few years have been casual / short term so it’s not something I have experienced.
LikeLike
Leaving the toilet seat up, throwing your dirty clothes on the floor, eating as an afternoon’s snack what was to have been tonight’s dinner which she had slaved over for hours, refusing to socialize with her lame-ass friends and their beta boyfriends, not earning enough money, not being sufficiently ambitious, drinking too much, being obnoxious in a formal social setting [like a business dinner] in front of Really Important People who have a say over the future of her career, flirting with other hot babes at said business dinner and thinking nothing of it, accidentally saying something true but intemperate about her family [oops!], etc etc etc…
LikeLike
I meant what happens between the fallout and the sex, how do you typically get from one to the other? e.g. does one party apologise and sex somehow follows? Do neither party apologise and the passion just spills over into sex? Who typically initiates?
LikeLike
It’s your job, as the man. She’ll be make ugly grimacing hateful faces at you, but you can tell that her heart isn’t in it, and you’ll move in to try to slide your hand in her pants, and she’ll shove you away and roll her eyes and tell you how much she hates you, but again you can tell that her heart isn’t in it, and so you repeat that cycle several times, until finally you force your hand into her pants [pinning her hands behind her back if necessary] and you get your finger on her clitoris and where before she was turning her head pretending not to want to kiss you, now suddenly the two of you are in a full open-mouthed french kiss, shoving your tongues down each others’ throats, and in the very next moment, you’re making mad passionate violent primordial love, right there on the kitchen countertop/table/floor/wherever…
LikeLike
Seems plausible… and fun. I tend not to do anger by half, so if I was truly pissed I’d undoubtedly have to leave the room and attempt this after a brief intermission. Much obliged for the unapologetically straight-up explanation; it’s what I love about this place.
LikeLike
> “a brief intermission”
Now be forewarned that that brief intermission might be a few days. Or even a few weeks, until she ovulates again. LOL’ed. Also, from the completely opposite point of view, if you’ve firmly decided that she’s never going to be the mother of your children, and you just want to be done with it once and for all, then a nuclear fight can be a good excuse to walk away and never look back.
LikeLike
WORD TO THE MOTHA!!!
👏👏👋👍✊👊💪💪☝️
LikeLike
What happens to men who don’t unleash The Beast Within from time to time: http://www.reddit.com/r/TwoXChromosomes/comments/2nonqz/i_wasnt_treating_my_husband_fairly_and_it_wasnt/
LikeLike
Neecy,
what does; clap, clap, wave, thumbs up, fist up, fist front, flex bicep, flex bicep, index up means???
LikeLike
*awww you’re so adirable*
All it means *REALLY* is that I got a lil trigger happy on the emoticons. I love emoticons to the point of overkill.
Basically I was saying I agreed with some of what he was saying.
LikeLike
Hieroglyphic ebonics.
LikeLike
“Hieroglyphic ebonics.”
Had to stifle a loud laugh at the rat race from that one.
LikeLike
Ah, good to know that the jests don’t ALL fall flat. 😉
LikeLike
Off topic, but I just finished watching Eastwood’s “American Sniper”. The fact that we live in a society which teaches our kids to idolize rappers and drug dealers, and yet I’d never even heard of this guy until today, depresses the shit out of me. It’s guys like THAT that we should be holding up to our kids as the ideal.
If anyone wants to know what a true Alpha looks like, that dude was it. From what I could see, his only flaw was that he was willing to go overseas and risk his life for a country that would have happily thrown him under the bus if he would have come back and said something to offend a fat, spoiled, worthless SJW feminist.
LikeLike
Or if he would have come back and shaken off all that brainwashing about “they are evildoers ‘cuz they fight back against our invasion” and said that maybe Americans should protect their own nation instead of attacking the Israeli lobby’s targets, the few M.E. nations that have given support to the Palestinian resistance. He was a guy who loved to kill, who reveled in killing and never criticized the fact that thousands of American lives were thrown away, with now more than one and a half trillion dollars, for very obvious lies about the anti-Islamist President Hussein being in league with his enemies, al-Qaeda. Not to mention the more than one million lives killed directly or indirectly by the U.S. mercenaries.
He was despicable. How ironic that he was killed by another mercenary suffering from post-war stress or whatever. Those crazies are a plague brought home by the war, a gift that keeps on giving, becoming drunkards and junkies, beating their wives and children because of their minds being screwed up, killing spouses and killing themselves. That “American sniper” never criticized any of that. All for Israel, buddy! Paul Wolfowitz all the way! Sucks to be bitten himself by what he helped promote.
LikeLike
Fuck you, moron! “Despicable?” You fucking pussy! You are no less the enemy than any SJW with your tiresome ranting about “neocons.” (BTW – “neoconservatives” have nothing to do with the wars in Iraq or Afghanistan. Wolfowitz and co are “neoconservatives?” You must me joking. The term “neoconservative” has not been relevant since the 1970s. Do you even know what Commentary is?) Enough of your mindless crap, prole!
What exactly is your beef? That he was a “mercenary?” Ha ha! Why? Because he wasn’t a conscript? Goddamn, what a keyboard jockey! Because he “never criticized the fact that thousands of American lives were thrown away?” What are you talking about, hippie? You’re upset that he killed people? That’s what war is. That wars cost lives?
His wars were “unjust?” Really? As opposed to what? Which war was “just” in your opinion? America never went to war unless it was attacked? You fairy! You company man! Grow up! The last time the country fought a “defensive” war was the War of 1812. (We were in WWII well before Pearl Harbor and were not defending anything in that war.) This country has been fighting foreign wars since Jefferson sent an expeditionary force to show the Barbary pirates they couldn’t control commerce in the Med.
I don’t know what kind of fantasy world you live in, son, but make no mistake, you are not “red pill.” You are just another whiny creation of the internet, the kind of freak who prattles on about false flag operations, etc. He “loved to kill?” Does it offend your sensibilities, you pussy! Ha ha! Yeah, keep on being a tool for the New Left-Lbertard axis, son.
LikeLike
CH, this is a good blog but what’s with all the game posts? Could we please stick to politics!
LikeLike
In reverse 😛 or let’s just not whine
LikeLike
A flaccid jest, indeed.
LikeLike
Indeed, I finally got through my thick beta skull that fancy dinner “dinnerview” first date is a guarantee of NOT having sex and usually not even getting a second date. The girl sees it as a wimpy beta move. Girls hate dinner dates unless with an established lover.
LikeLike
“Girls hate dinner dates unless with an established lover.”
agreed. early on it should be about partying and sex. she doesn’t want anything in her digestive tract when you’re banging her out. this way she won’t let any farts slip and ruin it. she won’t want you to see her eat until you’ve had months of banging.
this goes double is she’s older and hot. older hot chicks tend to eat well including lots of cruciferous veggies and crap like tofu. broccoli and tofu farts stink!
if she wants to dine with you early on she’s not really into you and or she’s low SMV.
LikeLike
[…] Romance Isn’t Foreplay […]
LikeLike
Dr Hook new it back in the day
and the lyrics just in case you missed it
Girls have it made, girls have more fun
Girls have their way, to get lovers anytime they want
Anytime she needs some loving
Anytime she just gives the sign
It won’t take her long to find a man to oblige
Guy’s got to plot, guy’s got to plan
Guy’s got to lie, cheat, steal, do anything he can
Anything to get her loving, anything to make her agree
That’s the way it’s been since Adam and Eve
Girls can get it, anytime they want
Girls can get it, where a man often won’t
Everybody’s always after some loving now and then
A woman gets it faster than any man can
Girls can get it, anytime they like
Girls can get it, a fact of life
If she calls you for some loving in the middle of the night
She can get a man running at the speed of light
We all look for love, somewhere, sometime
Girls find it first, they find it morning, noon and night
And its a wonder of nature, eighth wonder of the world
That a man’s got to chase her if he’s gonna get the girl
When a woman wants love, a woman gets love
And its for sure she’s gonna find it before the sun comes up
Girls can get it, they pick and choose
Girls can get it, men are always in the mood
If she calls you for some loving in the middle of the night
She can get a man running at the speed of light
Girls can get it, anytime they like
Girls can get it, a fact of life
Oh you know she’ll find it easy, you know that she can
It’s like givin’ a little water to a thirsty man
Girls can get it, anytime they want
Girls can get it, where a man often won’t…
LikeLike
Romance is “plausible-deniability”. When a woman is into it she will do all manner of depraved things, think of the kinkiest porny shit ever. Woman don’t care, they’ll do it, when they’re cumming or if you made them cum hard some time in their recent memory.
But you know that in the back of their minds… oh god… what if some freak put a camera in the hotel room, what if (somehow) her dad/mom found out!?
So you gotta have the romance there as back up, “Oh he’s SOOOO romantic. Yeah it looks bad, but LOOK AT ALL THE FLOWERS AND CANDLES!” Whatever. All of that other shit is just window dressing so she can rationalize getting impaled by cock.
If you treat romance as, at best, a life preserver hanging off the railing of your “love boat”, you can bend her over the railing and fuck her silly, even as she topples over the edge and drowns in an ocean of lust.
But if you think romance is the object of the game, then you are just a dork with a gigantic pink and red inflatable innertube she can lounge about in on the lazy river of your “romance”.
LikeLike
What about romance the other way. Do men appreciate love poems? I had a idea that if I write one verse a month and then frame it and give it on New Years. But my friend said that is a terrible gift idea for a man.
.
And imagine how awkward it will be if you give someone your heart in such a gift, and they do not like it or laugh.
I remember when I was a child, my father liked a woman, and had not told her so we told him to buy her flowers – it was romantic. He did, and she rejected him. In hindsight, I suppose it was my and my sister’s fault.
LikeLike
Yes, he should definitely not buy flowers for a woman who he isn’t involved with.
If you are going to write poetry, make sure it’s well-written. That means rhyme, either AABB, ABBA, ABAB or other. Most people will only do the AABB if they make it rhyme at all, and don’t go through the extra effort of making it ABAB which looks better. And for Odin’s sake, make sure the number of syllables match. Either in each line or in every other line. Such as: 6666, or 6565, for example. Again, more advanced and therefore more impressive if you make it every other line. If you don’t think of the number of syllables it will sound ugly no matter what else you do. It’s such a simple matter to think of the number of syllables, and yet people don’t do it.
For variation, you could also make a poem based on alliteration. That is to say, where the first letter in each or most of the words match in each line. But in the case of vowels, the first letters can be different vowels, they don’t have to be the same. This doesn’t have to rhyme, so it is not like ordinary poetry. But this was the way the Vikings would often write. Example:
Swiftly Sigurd swung his sword
Quickly cut the craven king
Loudly he laughed,
Unright avenged by arm-strong deed
LikeLike
Stabreim ne’er the fair maid did win…
… ‘though alliteration, in certain positions, can be put to good use.
LikeLike
You are right Arbiter, but as children we just read about romance and how the men are giving the women bouquets of roses, so we think, ah that is so romantic. So imagine, when she rejected him, it was confusing even to us.
Thank you for your poetry help. Did you write the verse at the end yourself? It reads beautifully. My poetry is a little more clumsy. I will show you some verses of what I write, if you like and could give your opinion. It all rhymes, and it is in 4 line verses, but when I translate it it will not rhyme. I have some in english that rhyme. I do struggle with the number of syllables. I also have a tendency to say in 10 words what I could say in 2. lol.
I like Kipling’s style of poetry writing very much, also the erotokritos by Vikentios Kornaros. Its beautiful. To tell stories in poetry is really a talent.
LikeLike
And Pablo Neruda, a great poet, even though he was a communist, so not so great. His romantic style of poetry was beautiful, have you ever seen the movie, “Il Postino”? It is one of my favorites,
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Il_Postino:_The_Postman
It is about poetry, about a simple Italian postman who makes a woman fall in love through the use of metaphor. Unrealistic – but touching.
LikeLike
LikeLike
” Two, women have a queer ability to imagine themselves as the protagonist in rom-coms, even when the protagonist is a man (as they often are). This is a bit of inverse projection by women, as they identify with the lovelorn “beta man” who is desperate to capture the love of the emotionally distant “alpha woman”. The male character’s romantic exertions remind women of the efforts they undergo to win the commitment of the hard-to-get alpha man.”
How did you realize this?
Brilliant
LikeLike
i second that. very insightful.
LikeLike
Cyrano de Bergerac coaches modern day Brit on romance. Hilarious!
LikeLike
LOL. that is hilarious.
LikeLike
The Brit accents put it over the top.
I would have added something about a “French letter”/”English hood” barb.
/yeah, you young’uns are gonna hafta google that one.
LikeLike
Took a girl to Paris once, wined her, dined her, then went for a walk along the Seine. Looking over the Seine I went to take her hand, she on seeing the light reflecting in the Seine – leaned over and spat in it.
LikeLike
Ah Romance…. FYI: Romance is a tool used to lower a man’s status. Crazy huh? Not really. The tool is used to secure a relationship with a girl who will otherwise assume that her lowly , chambermaid status only means interest in her from the mighty halls of power involves sex toy entertainment and then out with the empty pizza box. Thus all she will surmise to get out of it is an unclaimed bastard child and low status among her peers despoiled and saddlebag since any peasant taking interest will also see his resources diverted to the bastard spawn of his wild Sir Otis. This of course means we are talking about a girl who has an ounce of brains that could overcome tinglization .(…assuming no plan exists lacking scruples and a plan involving a legal claim with baby).
Pretty useful for Polish 18 year old, smoking hot, cleaning ladies who mis-compute status with their means of employ.
To one teetering on the edge of status and respect , romance is like taking one step forward into an uncovered man hole into an abyss of social stink and desperate scrabbling, like one who will sire swineherd slaves.
LikeLike
Romance is a sign that the man is willing to invest time and resources in the woman, meaning he is more likely to stay with her and provide for her and her children when he has made her pregnant. This is women’s instinct. But this doesn’t mean a lowering of the man’s status.
LikeLike
Actually it does, but its complicated.
LikeLike
“Maxim #49: Romance isn’t foreplay. Romance is, at best, seasoning on an established sexual relationship.”
-GOLD.
Chrissakes, if every miseducated highschool kid could read the shit on this blog…
I wish to yeebus I had a time machine so I could hand a copy of the soon-to-be-published “Chateau Heartiste’s Malleus Poonificarum” to my younger self and peri-pubescent bros.
.
You kids these days with your internets and your red pills, you don’t know how hard it was back in the day. We had to sarge 5 miles to school, uphill, in the snow…
LikeLike
“Save your romantic wanderlust for girls accustomed to your lumberthrust.”
I’m stealing this.
LikeLike
I turning it into a song!
LikeLike
Yes, a tip o’ the ten gallon on that word smithing…
I also enjoyed “coin of the clam”.
LikeLike
grand romantic gestures never did do nothing for their vaginas that a jerkboy attitude and an impudent boner didn’t already do.
OhIdunnoboutdat. Was giving Mrs. Gamer a back massage from a front-to-front standing position while clothed. Very beta. Asked her if I was a nice guy. “Nope, a jerk”, she said. Then she gradually moved her hands lower and reached for my….
LOL
LikeLike
There are some personality types who can pull off romantic gestures right off the bat without looking needy, but as a general rule CH Is right.
LikeLike
Timing is everything…
LikeLike
Romance isn’t inherently bad and can make women melt if done right, it’s more the fact that men including alphas have no finesse when it comes to being romantic.
Player Rule #3:
Women will always be suckers for men who know how to love-them-and-leave them.
LikeLike
Woman friend is annoyed with me. First, we were isolated two different evenings and I didn’t make a pass at her either time. We only practiced a dance move. In that move, she made sure that her butt settled onto my groin. Doubltess hoping to feel wood. I rotated my hip to keep separation. Heh. In my defense, I had previously given her the No Funny Business Chat ™, so I assumed that dancing while isolated was on the up and up. Not the case. Then I told her a few days later that I had flirted with my wife when my friend and I were both present with our spouses at a dance. This did not make her happy. Heh. Crossed signals because she expected action despite my clear signal.
LikeLike
CH touches on some interesting ideas here.
With regard to movies, movie romances follow a formula, because that formula produces steady, cash-cow revenue:
1) boy and girl come together
2) something in the plot pushes them apart
3) the barrier is overcome and they end happily ever after
Betas, including my pre-Red Pill self, envision themselves in these alternate realities as the protagonists. “Yes, of course, that’s how you win her over!”. It is, of course, complete bollocks.
Food for thought…which comes first:
the beta-fication of the Western world creating an appetite for this content, or
do these pop-culture fictions form the ‘movies in our heads’, and tend to produce more and reinforce beta behavior?
LikeLike
Culture leads behavior. 18th century fem-centric gothic romances led the way.
LikeLike
OT but could we please get an article on comfort soon? My jerkboy swag is fine and my dread game is too strong, but comfort remains a weak spot. Also paging yareally on this topic…
LikeLike
@Bobby this is a game sticking point for me. I’ve been getting better at this as I 1) get more girls in the pipeline and don’t worry so much about losing them 2) try new stuff out (see below).
Also…there’s a difference here between “comfort” and “being needy”….
You can tell a girl what you feel if you don’t in your mind expect or supplicate.
It’s about mindset before execution. I was afraid of saying too much.
I just did a dread game on a girl I was gaming. She flips out claiming I’m just in it for sex.
I go quiet for a week, re-open with the standard opening: “How’s my baby?”
She immediately replies. The says “I wondered why you didn’t reply (to my angry rant”)
Me: I’m replying now.
on it goes. Comfort is making her feel good without pandering or supplicating.
LikeLike
My view of comfort is that it’s simply a question of listening and letting her open up to you, and guiding the conversation to “deeper” topics. Obv need to maintain the alpha frame, but the idea is to move on to deeper topics and let her invest in you by talking more..and letting bits of your personality come out more so she also feels like she’s getting to know you (you know, cute childhood stories about you etc – but don’t overdo it).
I do okay on comfort but I am planning on spending some time this month focussing on building fast connections with people (not just women/dating) – I am going to re-read Juggler’s ebook which has some good stuff. YaReally’s archives also have some good stuff on this, including his summary of Juggler’s method.
Like for example I had a first date with a 19 year old before Christmas and we made out but ended early for logistical reasons. At one point she mentioned in passing that she used to be married (young) but is now separated. There wasn’t time to get into it that evening but next time I will get her to open up about it.
LikeLike
Comfort is easy – just share a thought, or a gesture that make her feel special.
The timing of delivery…. that is where expertise comes to play. That is the game.
LikeLike
It’s like a dance…in my case, I engage with a little kino…she responds…I flirt a little–give her a little validation…she responds…etc.
With text, you’d give a little comfort/validation. “Was so much fun with you last Sat”….invite her into a new fantasy with you…”Let’s go dancing in the moonlight and make the world stop”
LikeLike
use the search box
LikeLike
[…] Source: Heartiste […]
LikeLike
ForeignBride responded viscerally to the original Tarzan starring Johnny Weismuller. The wild animals and nude frolicking certainly got her passions steaming. Quite ribald for its day and highly recommended viewing to get your female guest in a receptive mood. Oddly the Bo Derek remake left us flaccid, thanks to Tarzan’s brainless male-model stage persona.
LikeLike
You should read the book. fantastic. Game throughout. Jane pursued by a greater Beta but finds complete happiness in the rough grasp of the Alpha Tarzan. Written in 1912. Free on amazon.
The red pill has always always been around, it’s just that for the last 50 or so years the delusions of our parents have obscured it. In many ways we have the lack of great land wars to thank for this. Affluence makes everyone soft, and is fertile ground for idle minds to set idle hands to work.
LikeLike
A snippet:
When Terkoz saw that it was Tarzan who pursued him, he jumped to the conclusion that this was Tarzan’s woman, since they were of the same kind—white and hairless—and so he rejoiced at this opportunity for double revenge upon his hated enemy.
To Jane the strange apparition of this god-like man was as wine to sick nerves.
From the description which Clayton and her father and Mr. Philander had given her, she knew that it must be the same wonderful creature who had saved them, and she saw in him only a protector and a friend.
But as Terkoz pushed her roughly aside to meet Tarzan’s charge, and she saw the great proportions of the ape and the mighty muscles and the fierce fangs, her heart quailed. How could any vanquish such a mighty antagonist?
Like two charging bulls they came together, and like two wolves sought each other’s throat. Against the long canines of the ape was pitted the thin blade of the man’s knife.
Jane—her lithe, young form flattened against the trunk of a great tree, her hands tight pressed against her rising and falling bosom, and her eyes wide with mingled horror, fascination, fear, and admiration—watched the primordial ape battle with the primeval man for possession of a woman—for her.
As the great muscles of the man’s back and shoulders knotted beneath the tension of his efforts, and the huge biceps and forearm held at bay those mighty tusks, the veil of centuries of civilization and culture was swept from the blurred vision of the Baltimore girl.
When the long knife drank deep a dozen times of Terkoz’ heart’s blood, and the great carcass rolled lifeless upon the ground, it was a primeval woman who sprang forward with outstretched arms toward the primeval man who had fought for her and won her.
And Tarzan?
He did what no red-blooded man needs lessons in doing. He took his woman in his arms and smothered her upturned, panting lips with kisses.
For a moment Jane lay there with half-closed eyes. For a moment—the first in her young life—she knew the meaning of love.
But as suddenly as the veil had been withdrawn it dropped again, and an outraged conscience suffused her face with its scarlet mantle, and a mortified woman thrust Tarzan of the Apes from her and buried her face in her hands.
Tarzan had been surprised when he had found the girl he had learned to love after a vague and abstract manner a willing prisoner in his arms. Now he was surprised that she repulsed him.
He came close to her once more and took hold of her arm. She turned upon him like a tigress, striking his great breast with her tiny hands.
Tarzan could not understand it.
A moment ago and it had been his intention to hasten Jane back to her people, but that little moment was lost now in the dim and distant past of things which were but can never be again, and with it the good intentions had gone to join the impossible.
Since then Tarzan of the Apes had felt a warm, lithe form close pressed to his. Hot, sweet breath against his cheek and mouth had fanned a new flame to life within his breast, and perfect lips had clung to his in burning kisses that had seared a deep brand into his soul—a brand which marked a new Tarzan.
Again he laid his hand upon her arm. Again she repulsed him. And then Tarzan of the Apes did just what his first ancestor would have done.
He took his woman in his arms and carried her into the jungle.
LikeLike
Very interesting analysis, and I agree. When a woman is reading a romantic story, she is thinking of a man already worthy of that stage of the relationship. It’s like when women say “men should just be themselves, not play games” (games that we have to play because of women’s tastes) – she is imagining a man she is already attracted to.
But the romantic literature today actually isn’t that heavy on romance as we might think. The men are usually alpha.
A while back I was in a relationship with a girl who had a collection of Harlequin novels in her bookshelf. I read several of the stories; they are generally short and I’m a fast reader, and I was curious about what women read. As it turns out they were not what I expected. The chapters switch between the man’s and the woman’s perspective. The flowery descriptions disappeared from these stories before the 90s, when they took on a more realistic tone. The men do not woo the women with flowers and declarations of love – except that there will be a love declaration at the end, from both of them, when all the ground work is done. The men are men and the women are women, even as they work together to train horses at the man’s ranch or solve a murder mystery. Here are a couple of observations about the men in these novels:
-Above all they are competent in whatever they do.
-They are as fit as the women are slim. There are no glasses, piercings or tattoos.
-They have always chosen their line of work, it’s not just something they do for the money.
-Whether as a rogue or a leader they seem fundamentally similar.
-They never lose their temper. When they get angry it is a controlled anger.
-While they don’t go looking for fights they are no pushovers.
-They have a strong sense of duty, when they have decided to shoulder a duty.
-They are not afraid for their own sake, only for family and love interest.
-Only rarely will they get drunk. Then they’ll get real drunk and for a good reason.
-Occasionally they will be possessive and show a dark desire when drunk, if there have been glitches in the relationship.
-Many have had a lot of flings, which they neither draw attention to nor deny.
-They never talk about their worries, regrets or dislikes, except maybe one scene when they need to put the cards on the table.
-Most are not rich, but they have the amount of money they want to have.
-They never give up their job or any other interest for a woman.
-They don’t complain.
-They are as comfortable with the thought of family life as they are with their single life.
-Some are teasing, some are not.
-While they may admire a woman’s looks, they will only compliment her when she dresses up for a ballroom dance.
-They look as good in dusty jeans as they do in a tux.
-If they go running or do hard yard work they always wear a worn t-shirt.
-They have a good hand with animals.
-Most prefer small towns and the outdoors to big cities.
-They don’t go gaga over babies and puppies, though they don’t dislike them either.
-They don’t chase compliments.
-They don’t share their political opinions, taste in music, etc, on dates.
-First dates are never about sitting down by a table (and are never called dates).
-They don’t give a girl gifts. But if there is something she truly needs they will help her get it.
-They won’t talk about past relationships until after they have slept with the girl, and if they do it will be a neutral and brief explanation.
-They don’t lie, they don’t cheat, they don’t talk loud, they don’t ridicule, they are not annoying.
-Their biggest interest is their job.
-They don’t procrastinate.
-They don’t play computer games or watch TV shows.
-If they have an interest in their spare time it is always about building something lasting.
-Barring a past tragedy, their lives are what they want them to be.
If I would describe these male characters with two words they would be controlled and passionate. But most of all passionate about what they do. The woman is a complement to an already fully functioning life.
LikeLike
“He had been working out at the gym, and it showed!”
LikeLike
You must have been reading the comment section in my dating profile
LikeLike
In my late twenties (late 1990s) a girlfriend told me that Jewel’s song Foolish Games” describes me to a tee.
LikeLike
Looked it up.
http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/jewel/foolishgames.html
Ouch, man, that’s pretty harsh criticism.
LikeLike
Nah, she didn’t mind my smoking.
LikeLike
This is a little-known Alanis Morissette song which happens to have one of the best videos. Each of the men she describes fits a certain romantic archetype.
LikeLike
It’s interesting how when she describes a “beta comfort” boyfriend, the music is gentle and when describing an “alpha attraction” man it’s harder.
LikeLike
Interesting to read the comments to that song. The only guy mentioned is the cad, and he is mentioned three times.
“Dear Marcus, you rocked my world… : (”
“You can see how hurt she is when she realizes what Marcus is talking about.”
“I went out with Marcus. =/”
Not that the commenters wouldn’t go out with the other types, but the cad is certainly the most interesting to talk about.
LikeLike
Personally, I found Jonathan the most interesting character. He was one of the two alphas in the song. (He was the one smoking in a restaurant). The cad Marcus, as Morrissette sang, was too much attraction, too little comfort. In the video, she looked stiff — desiring him but unable to relax.
LikeLike
I read on of those romance novel which back then were the most sold books on the whole planet
I read it because I had to know what those hundreds of millions of women were reading
and then years later I found an article that had analyzed those Arlequin books and in each and everyone of them when the man and woman finally have a physical contact it is always something not that far from rape. The woman does not want to kiss him but he pushes her against a wall and because he is stronger he kisses her and she can not run away or do anything.
He forces himself on her. And she has no choice.
And that is what women secretly want, otherwise they would not buy and read those books by the hundreds of million.
But they want it from a man they find attractive, if a beta tried it she would scream rape.
LikeLike
and then years later I found an article that had analyzed those Arlequin books and in each and everyone of them when the man and woman finally have a physical contact it is always something not that far from rape. The woman does not want to kiss him but he pushes her against a wall and because he is stronger he kisses her and she can not run away or do anything.
He forces himself on her. And she has no choice.
Not the case at all, though the guy writing that analysis must have figured that’s the most interesting for readers to see – what mag or newspaper it was in probably has something to do with it. Most of the time when they have love scenes they both want it and it’s all desire from both. Only sometimes is the woman reluctant and it’s then mostly about believing they don’t have a future together, not that she doesn’t want the sex. (I did, of course, flip forward to the sex scenes even in the novels I didn’t read.)
LikeLike
Though there may have been more rough sex in older novels, before the publishing house made the decision that the flowery language would be toned down. They studied what readers rolled their eyes at.
After the 1970s they also skipped the requirement that all the women must be virgins, and at that time they had moved to publishing books about people living in the U.S. or Britain or Australia and having normal lives, not just novels by British authors (this from Wikipedia) writing about British women, no doubt having fairytale lives. Though it’s about raising horses on a ranch, opening up a hospital in a remote place, solving murder mysteries, doing business in skyscrapers, so it’s not that normal after all, just not flowery.
But that doesn’t mean the stories became feminist. The woman is not the owner of the ranch or the business, that’s always the man or his family. Only very rarely will the man or woman in the story be a single parent, and then it’s because the spouse has died, and it will be one kid, who will be very young (so therefore easy to mold and make your own). The stories end with marriage or with a road clearly leading to marriage, and only then will the two main characters have kids.
LikeLike
Couple of thoughts here…
I too have read that the romance novels seem to all contain a thread of domination surrender.
When I paid attention to these things I asked a long time girlfriend about what she liked in romance novels. She admitted that she had “rape” fantasies. Hmmm… ok so we acted out one and she was a wild woman in the sack. So much so that we later explored our BDSM limits. The more I pushed her the more wild submissive and accepting she got.
As a young man I thought this was simple play. And she was actually a modern woman (a feminist English major no less) just “playing along” with our game.
Now as an older gent that has had numerous ladies respond to similar Domination play… I wonder if there is something in the female psyche that just craves a dominant male.
I truly believe that while the mind of a woman may say “equality”. The heart of a woman says “dominate” me.
This same girl had a saying. “I’m looking for a man who will treat me like an Angel by day. And love me like a Devil at night.”
[CH: you’ve got it.]
LikeLike
You’re right Ang Aamer, a girl wants the guy to take the lead in bed, of course. But how much dominance varies. Certainly not all are into “rape play”. Yeesh, there are too many categorical statements here. Don’t people run into variation? If everything worked the same on all women, then running the exact same game would yield the exact same result on all that you date. While there are averages there are still variations, all the way to some that are far away from the average.
LikeLike
“The heart of a woman says “dominate” me.”
this is the edge – the stuff we can’t talk about anywhere but here.
“rape” is fascinating. interesting that the most falsely reported felony also tops the list of female sexual fantasies.
what i’ve found is that “rape” leads to the some of the best sexual encounters – but only in the context of an established relationship where the man is in control. this way she knows you won’t really hurt her.
no woman ever told me about any of this. i just did it. keep in mind the first time it happened i was not old enough to be charged as an adult so that may have contributed to my willlingness to push the envelope.
in my experience this is how it works. i want sex. she says no (and means it). i force her down for missionary (this is important – not doggy), holding her wrists down, fighting to take off the minimum amount of clothing to make it happen (her tits won’t be exposed). no kissing. her head is turned to the side eyes closed. she doesn’t say anything (for sure no screaming because at this point she is already passively participating), she pushes back but nothing like scratching or biting to get me off of her. a subtle case of no means yes when i know what i’m doing. this kind of play is not for the faint of heart.
she won’t be super wet at this point so penetration hurts initially. i have been told afterwards that she likes this feeling (it doesn’t feel good necessarily and she doesn’t want it to happen often but there is something hot about it she can’t describe). she will continue to push back, try to roll around. i keep pounding away and holding her wrists.
then something magical happens. if you’re ever done this you know what i’m talking about. there is a shift. she turns on a dime from resistance to active participation. still no kissing, no eye contact – this is not lovemaking. this is as close to her rape fantasy as she can safely get and i let her have her moment. i am rough. she is now soaking wet as if the flood gates opened.
in the final moments i’ll let her wrists go so she can wrap her arms around me and pull me in as close as possible. blast off. her climax is a monster. there have been times when i haven’t cum as only simultaneous orgasm will do. i jump off immediately and leave the room. we won’t talk about it until she brings it up the next day maybe. often she says thanks for knowing what she needed and mentions how she thought about how hot it was all day.
again, i’ve only experienced this in longer term relationships. there has to be investment, trust and lots of sexual history and chemistry so she gets her orgasm (either that time or the next as the “rape” can sometimes be a type of extended foreplay).
i know domination is a huge turn on for her (and not always about her orgasm) as i’ve also done it with oral. if i “force” a woman to perform oral against her will and cum in her mouth that’s absolute proof of the “dominate me” theory as all it takes is one bite to end it.
this is not true for just older “fifty shades” women. they all want to play like this. it’s in their dna.
is experiencing that magical shift from no to yes worth a rape charge? i don’t know. trust is the most important thing. she has to trust you’ll deliver the orgasm (or if oral you know how to stay dominant afterwards as this will affect the next encounter where she will cum) and you have to trust she won’t have you locked up.
dangerous games. the edge is where the best stuff happens.
LikeLike
@TightRope, women simply love being dominated. Even the ones who won’t be aroused by the physical aspects of it, if you learn how to tug at the strings of their hearts and play with their thoughts and emotions during sex, they will be in a cloud of honey. And she will do almost any unspeakable sex act if you know how to ‘mindfuck’ her. Women being like this and their small idiosyncrasies are the only reason this game thing is worth it to me and why hookers are a stupid way to blow your money.
LikeLike
You make a good point. I recommend to any man improving himself to avoid television and start hitting the books. Romance novels are rarely made into movies.
LikeLike
Been saying it over and over – dynamic, passionate and authentic is the trifecta…
excellent breakdown @arbiter
LikeLike
What fun it would be to make a “romcom” depicting a fiery romantic relationship as it actually plays out for the garden-variety CH apprentice…
Boy meets girl at a gathering of mutual friends.
Girl is objectively prettier than the guy, and clearly bored with her life and asteroid belts of hopeful orbiters, also present at the gathering.
Guy behaves outlandishly, or displays bold talent that sets him apart -no fucks given.
Guy negs girl, finishes her drink while she goes to the bathroom to gossip.
Numbers are exchanged. Guy writes hers on a napkin -loses napkin.
She calls after a few days of expectant waiting and overthink.
Guy “forgets” her name, but tells her that he remembers her hairstyle because it’s so common these days.
Girl asks guy on a date.
Sparks fly, fluids are exchanged.
Guy loudly poops immediately post-coitus, bathroom door open. Girl is fascinated.
Guy doesn’t call for a week. Smoke pours from girl’s ears due to hamster wheel tread stripping and transmission fire.
Guy texts “sup”. Girl swoons.
Casual sex ensues for six months. Guy avoids meeting her family.
Guy moves across country. Girl uproots entire life, quits job at Forever21, follows.
Girl arrives to find guy with new girlfriend…”babe I thought we had an understanding”
Credits roll to sounds of wailing/sobbing.
I’m drafting a script now, wonder which studio will jump on this “feel-good hit of the summer” first?
I’ll be setting up an indiegogo for those who feel compelled to donate.
LikeLike
False. For one thing, CH has explicitly said to keep the bathroom door closed. That was in reference to a story in a mainstream mag where the guy listed the many mistakes that had led to his relationship crashing.
The rest is distorted. What was the point, since CH doesn’t say any of that? Anything can be distorted to make it easier to attack. It’s called a strawman.
LikeLike
-Guy doesn’t call for a week. Smoke pours from girl’s ears due to hamster wheel tread stripping and transmission fire.
^I laughed til it hurt…
This could be great ‘romantic-comedy’ stuff, slyly worked into the plot…if it were billed as straight romance, feminists would go on a jihad and burn down theaters.
LikeLike
I’ve been trying a new type of game. Not sure how to call it, but it’s not “romance” game…it’s more “erotic image” game.
Context is everything here and I had to figure it out but the girl I’m gaming actually helped by saying things like “too blunt” and then I toned it down.
I’ll give you a sample. Again, context is everything so adapt at will.
It’s kind of a take off on 50 Shades.
Her: blah blah blah…you’re so tall, have nice yes whatever…
Me: I imagine the smell of your perfume on my pillow.
Me: want to use my belt on you. the smell of the leather reminds you of what is coming.
Her: you talk too much about sex blah blah blah
Me: it’s how I express myself to you as a man
You get the idea….lots of “I like the smell of your skin after my warm hand caresses it.”
Laugh if you will but this has gotten me the wildest bangs of the year.
The girl who kind of got this going in me is an artist and has an active imagination. She’s not even that great in the sack but because she loves building it up, she’s up for anything.
I knew I was going too far when I started talking about fucking her. I let her bring that up…I dance around it..
Not “I’m going to raw dog you….”
But this: “inside…no barrier”.
What is amazing for me is just how sexual these girls become when they get these texts…. It’s comfort, alpha and sexual without being cloying or needy.
Expressing a feeling is alpha.
Expressing a”need” is beta.
LikeLike
You meet me in the night. It’s dark, like night often is. Faintly in the distance, a light source illuminates your face. I pause for a minute, scanning and observing your visage. You check your iPhone, momentarily bored and impatient. We make small talk, eyes glistening with light reflected off of aqueous humor. I stop short of kissing you as I hear the familiar sounds of borborygmos, crystal clear in the evening. I then resume. As your eyes catch mine, I move in and kiss you passionately. Time stands still. There is nothing in the world except for you, and I, and the growing discomfort in my bowels. Your kissing becomes more forceful and deliberate as we stand in the neon glow of Taco Bell. Your lips and hands moving all over me as I stretch and strain to contain the inevitable. As you unzip my pants partially I shove you against the railing, which you fall over, and I run to the bathroom thanking you internally as I pull my pants down as fast as I can and a cornucopia of explosive nachos bel grande, volcano tacos and plasticine cinnamon twists hypergolically ejacudefecate from my relenting anus. Good night, sweet princess. Oh God, they’re out of toilet paper…
Am I doing it right?
LikeLike
Run with that…the nachos are nice twist.
LikeLike
@walawala I’ve been doing this too in the last couple of months. My writing style is different (it depends on the girl but I’m a bit less “literary”) but in essence it involves playing the question game and rapidly escalating sexually on Whatsapp – exactly as you said, it’s amazing how sexual and open most women are when you can tap into it (I had a woman I’d never met – I met her online and got her number – masturbating to the texts I was sending her describing a sexual experience I’d had). Then she sent me pictures and audio of her orgasm etc.
LikeLike
Yes, new technology plays a role. 50 Shades and the opening up of that genre also factor into women’s keen imaginations. But mostly I find it requires game. The girls that start this usually resist with “you’re confident aren’t you?” Me: Yes…that’s why you keep talking to me…
How you do it is less important than the fact that IF you do send these erotic texts girls respond.
In some cases the girl is quite crude…in other cases more playful…but rarely is the girl completely put off. If she is, then you haven’t worked up enough comfort.
LikeLike
@walawala – yup exactly.
I’ve tried the text questions game/sexualize thing with something like 15 girls now. None of them. ZERO. has been *offended*. The worst that has happened is that they stopped responding a couple of times (even then it was when I pitched the questions game, not at the point of sexualization).
If they’re not that into it, they just won’t play along as much..but when it clicks you can really get them horny enough to come over to your place and fuck right then (I could have done it with the girl who was masturbating but we were in diff cities).
LikeLike
having digested so much of the manosphere, i am still happy to read articles that put a new spin on themes ive long since understood. But that body swap analogy gave me some fresh new insight. not that i didnt know that pre sex romance is a pussy snapper shutter. BUt that projection of alpha male craving and swooning, onto the beta protagonist…and not being able to understand how horrible a stance this is for men to take in reality…because they cant relate to the endless pursuit and rejection men face. Brilliant. Ill file that one away. Thanks.
LikeLike
This looks like article material for CH:
“Testosterone does not induce aggression, study shows.” [Instead, it improves women.]
www[]sciencedaily[]com/releases/2009/12/091208132241[]htm
“… Before the game the test subjects were administered either a dose of 0.5 mg testosterone or a corresponding placebo. “If one were to believe the common opinion, we would expect subjects who received testosterone to adopt aggressive, egocentric, and risky strategies — regardless of the possibly negative consequences on the negotiation process,” Eisenegger elucidates.
The study’s results, however, contradict this view sharply. Test subjects with an artificially enhanced testosterone level generally made better, fairer offers than those who received placebos, thus reducing the risk of a rejection of their offer to a minimum. “The preconception that testosterone only causes aggressive or egoistic behavior in humans is thus clearly refuted,” sums up Eisenegger. …”
From the study:
“A total of 60 women participated in the role of a proposer in our
experiment in a double-blind, placebo-controlled study design
(Fig. 1). A single dose of 0.5 mg of testosterone or placebo was applied
sublingually 4 h before subjects played the ultimatum game. We only
recruited women because the parameters (quantity and time course)
for inducing neurophysiological effects after a single sublingual
administration of 0.5 mg of testosterone are known in women21,
whereas these parameters are unknown in men.”
LikeLike
The dose was only four hours before the test, though. That doesn’t correspond to a higher testosterone level your entire life. It had an effect on what offers they made, after only four hours, but that doesn’t necessarily mean that all the factors affected by testosterone are changed after only a one-time dose. Does testosterone change the way the brain works, its physical composition, over a period of many years? Who knows?
LikeLike
Who knows, indeed! What you said is true, but what the study does do is disprove the feminist claim that testosterone is some kind of an independent “violence drug”.
LikeLike
Romance works best on girls with lower SMV than yourself, by making you seem more accessible. If a girl is attracted to you but hesitant because she’s worried you’ll throw her over the moment you meet someone more suitable to your stature, a romantic display will help her feel that you’re invested enough to stay. Especially if she feels she did something unique to earn it.
And that’s the central dynamic of romance novels.
LikeLike
Trying to find a CH short-story about two guys shooting pool with two girls watching. The beta guy – Dave? – invited the girls because he has been hitting on the hot one for ages, but his alpha friend gets all the attention, teasing the girl in just the right way. He draws the piece of chalk over the unattractive girl’s shirt and says “Sorry, Dave dared me to,” and the hot girl says, “I don’t think Dave’s the one causing trouble here.” When Dave hits a ball right and the girls say it’s a good shot the alpha guy says, “That wasn’t a good shot.” Pause. “That was a great shot.” And so on. Ring a bell?
LikeLike
@Arbiter I thought it was a post in laid in new York which is no longer an active blog.
LikeLike
Maybe there too, then. But I know it was also in the Chateau!
Ah yes, LaidNYC, that was a good blog. He quit when he got a girlfriend, I believe. The archive was still there a few months ago but is gone now. That is often the case. There was another blog called A Dark Heart which went from early to late 2013, very insightful by a guy who easily got a new girl per month. He quit when he got a girlfriend and then closed down the whole blog – a great shame to lose that material!
And a third one, ThisIsTrouble. Also gone after he got a girlfriend. It seems the only one who keeps his blog up after he gets romantically involved is Rollo Tomassi.
LikeLike
> never did do nothing <
Oh dear!
The double negative of the lower orders and rappers.
LikeLike
First – CH posts one of his best pieces, on a highly relevant topic that most beta men get wrong, with unique insights, which is compounded by numerous other insightful and relevant posts and THIS ^^^ is the SUM total of what you are compelled to share from it all? FFS. Refrain from wasting our collective time with this nonsense.
Second – because you are a troll, I will point out to you how complete your idiocy is here, CH’s reference is in homage to the America song Tin Man…
LikeLike
Well said. How often you see the midgets complain about a better man who can actually think and write and is not too lazy to look up and organize facts, a man who takes the time to maintain a blog with relevant information, far more effort than they would spend on anything in their lives. And their complaints are always petty with no facts whatsoever, latching on to some detail that doesn’t disprove the main point in the least. Low-IQ midgets.
LikeLike
Dfys
LikeLike
– “Romance isn’t foreplay. Romance is, at best, seasoning on an established sexual relationship.”
No woman in her right mind would want to eat a plate full of salt & pepper.
LikeLike
Brushed through the link and got a marginal chuckle…then saw some of the articles below:
“what-to-do-when-your-friends-are-on-their-second-marriages-but-youre-only-on-your-first”
LOL
Fckn geezus…
If marriage was a stock I’d short it and after a couple of days become a billionaire.
Marriage, the supposed ultimate bond of a relationship (fags and trannies now included), is now mainstream to have at least 2…
Lol…soon WalMart will have drive through marriage and divorce windows.
LikeLike
“Save your romantic wanderlust for girls accustomed to your lumberthrust”
LOVE IT!
LikeLike
If men want to understand the specific kind of romance that women want, they should read romance novels. (Yes, I know that most of them are horribly written, but some of the classics, like Gone with the Wind or Jane Eyre, are more tolerable). In romance novels, the hero does engage in grand romantic gestures, but only after a long, suspenseful period in which he is arrogant, antagonistic, and mysterious. So women do want romance, but only as part of a push/pull dynamic, or, if you prefer, a Tootsie Pop dynamic, in which she has to put in lots of work to get past the hard exterior and uncover a taste of softness.
Interestingly, romantic *movies* (at least those made within the past 30 years) tend to depict beta heroes much more than romantic *novels*, which are almost always alpha male fantasies. My theory is that romantic movies are meant to be consumed by couples, not by the woman alone, so they try to be more palatable to the general public.
LikeLike
David X would disagree with you, one of his best lines..No matter who I fuck, I can only think of you.
[CH: but he’s fucking them first.]
LikeLike
as Cher Femme,
LikeLike
grand romantic gestures never did do nothing for their vaginas that a jerkboy attitude and an impudent boner didn’t already do.
Again, Idk about this. Fantasy game can shine quite brightly even without a jerkboy attitude. Last night I was dancing repeatedly for about an hour with a pretty stewardess with large tatas at my dance studio (no alcohol involved). She was staring at me fixedly the whole time (of course, I held her gaze from time to time, smiling amusedly); she kino’d me and I politely responded in kind; while we were dancing a Rumba (the Dance of Love), she gave me a great compliment:
“You make me do amazing things with my hips.”
[Cue applause.]
LikeLike
One of the great things about lead-follow dancing is that the women have cover for allowing sexually-arousing men to run their hands all over women’s bodies.
LikeLike