What men are subconsciously thinking when they litter their texts and chats to women with smilies:
this will show her how happy and upbeat i am! i’m so enthused to be talking to her. so enthused! she will like me more when she sees how enthused i am that an electronic blip on a screen is making me horny big time.
What women are subconsciously thinking when they receive texts and chats littered with smilies from men:
ugh gross. that’s his fourth smiley. why is he trying so hard? he must not get laid much. if no other women want him, why would i want him? next.
CH once admonished men against the self-defeating compulsion to send women tons of smilies in an effort to build a romantic connection.
1. Too many smilies and question marks. A good rule of thumb when texting or emailing a girl is simply to refrain from using emoticons or question marks at all. Following this rule will help rewire your brain into mimicking the brain of an alpha.
Some emojis are useful as a pickup tool. But smilies — lots of ingratiating smilies — are the kiss-off of death to any budding ASCII courtship. Women are contemptuous of ingratiating betas, and a surfeit of smilies is a leading indicator of an appeasing man with the character of a chew toy. The smilies are weak.
Now, as it so happens, ♂SCIENCE♂ affirms this CH dictum.
It turns out that men who insert this little guy “:)” in their dating profiles or messages don’t get a good response from the ladies (on a personal note, I’ve heard some women say that the only thing they look forward to less than a smiley or, God forbid, winky face is an unsolicited picture of a dude’s junk… but that’s another story).
After studying a sample of 4,000 members, Zoosk found that men with a “:)” in their profile get 6% less incoming messages and 12% fewer responses to outgoing messages. Using a “:)” in an actual message decreased response rates by a whopping 66%.
You can get your hard truths later, after the party’s over, by waiting for social science studies to percolate through the genderqueersphere, or you can get them now, before the plebes have roused from slumber, as an honored guest of Le Chateau.
Men, on the other hand, love a good emoticon. So much so that women with a “:)” in their profile get 60% more messages.
To a man’s brain, an emotionally open woman is a contender to be a sexually open woman.
But wait!
Zoosk found that using the slightly longer “:-)” emoticon in a message actually increases responses by 13%.
I bet the men using the full “:-)” used it less frequently than the men sending the desperate “:)” configuration used their smiley choice. “:)” lends itself to mass beta spamming.
Ya know, forget all this smiley crap. Just stick with the tried-and-true, matchmaking basics.
“8==========D”
[…] Women HATE HATE HATE Ingratiating Beta Males […]
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This phenomenon was explained best by a woman commenter, eofahapi, in the recent thread on emotional range:
https://heartiste.wordpress.com/2015/03/06/the-seductive-value-of-emotional-range/#comment-653450
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🙂
_,-%/%|
_,-‘ \//%\
_,-‘ \%/|%
/ / ) __,– /%\
\__/_,-‘%(% ; %)%
%\%, %\
‘–%’
🙂
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GBFM text:
cu oversz
🙂
……………………- *” \ – “::*’\
………………„-^*” : : „” : : : :: *„
…………..„-* : : :„„–/ : : : : : : : ‘\
…………./ : : „-* . .| : : : : : : : : ‘|
…………/ : „-* . . . | : : : : : : : : |
…………\„-* . . . . .| : : : : : : : :’|
…………/ . . . . . . ‘| : : : : : : : 😐
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……../ . . . . . . . . . .\ : : : : : : 😐
……./ . . . . . . . . . . . ‘\ : : : : : /
……/ . . . . . . . . . . . . . *-„„„„-*’
….’/ . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ‘|
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../ . . . . . . . .’/ . . . . . . .’|
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‘/ . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .’|
‘| . . . . . \ . . . . . . . . . .|
‘| . . . . . . \„_^- „ . . . . .’|
‘| . . . . . . . . .’\ .\ ./ ‘/ . |
| .\ . . . . . . . . . \ .” / . ‘|
| . . . . . . . . . . / .’/ . . .|
| . . . . . . .| . . / ./ ./ . .|
‘| . . . . . . . . .’\ .\ ./ ‘/ . |
| .\ . . . . . . . . . \ .” / . ‘|
| . . . . . . . . . . / .’/ . . .|
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‘| . . . . . . . . .’\ .\ ./ ‘/ . |
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‘| . . . . . . . . .’\ .\ ./ ‘/ . |
🙂
[CH: disturbingly detailed.]
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The forward/backward slashes embossing the veiny column of the ASCII penicular shaft brings an artfully textually exciting element to the CHosphere.
|||||||||||)
(__) )
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haha can you do this via text?
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Only 6.5 inches. Must be a troll. Not GBFM surely?
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[…] Women HATE HATE HATE Ingratiating Beta Males […]
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Eh, i wouldnt knock emoji game.
It really depends on where you stand with the girl or how attracted to you she is already. Mind you, i wouldnt use it in the beginning but if youve banged her, shit helps at rapport. However, this could be another classic case of where if youre of low value in relation to her, you cant afford to display and use certain things in your “game”. However, if youre of high value, she’ll reply back using your medium of choice (whether it is emojis or not). Most girls use them before me. Theres a saying on the young twitter that if a girl doesnt send you a 😍or 😘 after a certain point, she just isnt that into you brah.
I use them sparingly but younger girls in general use them a lot so they are an arsenal in my game. For instance, i like using: 😈🍆💦💦💦.
It’s funny and it gets the convo going without me saying a word. Thats the good thing about emojis. They can propel your “wordless game” to new heights.
👌👈💦💦💦
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Eh, i wouldnt knock emoji game.
It really depends on where you stand with the girl or how attracted to you she is already.
That’s like saying “I wouldn’t knock short hair on girls; it depends on how hot she is.” But just as any girl looks better with long hair, any dude looks better without the smilies.
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Hence the reason i said, “Mind you, i wouldnt use it in the beginning but if youve banged her, shit helps at rapport.”
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Actually that is a good opener/qualifier I used recently “If you had to tell your life story [pause] – only using emojis (kino) [pause] — what would you say?”
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Your “emoji game.”
I want you to go sit in a corner and think about just how unbelievably beta you sound.
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CH! I lurrrrv ur posts. 🙂 meet for drinks later ???? 😉
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I disagree that emoticons hurt game. I swear, if they are well-timed they can get the gina juice flowing and help build a level of rapport with the woman. Maybe this applies to men who lack other means of demonstrating masculinity. If you haven’t established desirability with a woman or the woman is on the fence about your appeal, then I can definitely see how a bunch of smileys makes you look like a schmuck and just sadly desperate.
The thought I would leave you with is that if you have other factors that make you appear alpha and desirable, a woman won’t hold it against you (or even think about it) if you’re dropping emojis on her. I can’t really back up my assertion outside that I think my pickup game is enhanced with emojis, but I often times think the woman has already defined me as desirable.
[CH: as mentioned in the post, hand-picked emojis have their place. the take-home point is that smilies are beta tells, and unironic overuse of smilies is the beta male kiss of death.]
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If you’ve ever been contacted by a girl who’s more into you than you are into her then you’ll partially know what it feels like to be a hot chick being chased by a beta. And because you know her mindset is that she thinks you’re the coolest thing ever you’ll be able to spot signs of desperation (Too many smilies, too many exclamation points, she won’t shut up, can’t stop asking you to do stuff, etc.).
I think emoji game can be useful to a male, though. I’m fond of the poop emoji, which I usually send to a girl after she sends me a smiley face. And if you chat on Facebook then there are some great stickers you can send – Pusheen is great for random non sequiturs. I’ve also began referring to the “thumbs up” emotion that’s standard on the keyboard of most smartphones as the “Cool story, bro” button. If a girl sends me a long essay about something and I zone out I know that sending a “thumbs up” is better than actually breaking it down and analyzing and pretending I care.
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If you didn’t have this privilege, sign up on tinder as a female. You will be horrified and in the same time you will feel more confident when you’ll realize how downright pathetic your competition is. I had a girl lust over me during my uni years without me doing anything to her and she did get on my nerves to the point I’d avoid her by not going to the same places she did.
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Correction:
Agree with several commenters here. Girls tend to like men of few words (which makes me wonder how some poster here ever get laid). Emoticons substitute for words.
[CH: as a substitute for words, emoticons could work. but as an addition to words, like the way most betas use smilies, they are awful.]
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“which makes me wonder how some poster here ever get laid”
Ah, you mistake this for a place for picking up women. It’s a common mistake to act online as if women or the thought police know who you are so you must act accordingly.
Men write long texts to pass on information. There is a lot of information. It sounds like you have taken some steps, e.g. by reading that “you must be brief”, but keep reading.
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Good point, briefly made…
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Point. Brief.
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tl:dr
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.
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I wouldn’t say women particularly love men of few words, they simply abhor men who suffer of logorrhea. Men of few words are simply an opposite of what they abhor, but insofar as you’re upbeat and funny, I don’t think it would work against you.
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Not only upbeat and funny, but also engaging and playful. Otherwise you come off as a try-hard clown.
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I think the fact that 🙂 worked better is that it looks more masculine, because the face is more elongated. Faces grow longer as we age, you know, so this is a sign of maturity, while the standard smiley looks like a kid for having a shorter face. Yes, even when it comes to smileys does this apply.
Agree with the general sentiment, that limiting smileys is a good thing, but that a well-timed smiley can work. I find that sometimes you simply need to include something to show that you are joking or at least that you are not bitter. This is rare, but it happens.
If you want to show an upbeat tone without smileys, you can use exclamation points! Not to be overdone either, but you can use them more than smileys. Using only a dot often makes a text look like you are annoyed and don’t want to write.
Ugh … the overuses of smileys I have seen. In forums and elsewhere. Like this:
BETA TRYING TO CREATE SOCIAL EVENTS FOR PICKING UP WOMEN: hi everyone time for a picknick. 😉 I invite everyone to my place and we can have picknick right outside. remember to bring your food and drinks but I have plates. 🙂
GIRL: where’s that?
BETA: The address is in the attachment. 😉
A smiley wasn’t necessary for any of that. To sound upbeat he could have put an exclamation point after “time for a picknick” instead.
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A smiley wasn’t necessary for any of that. To sound upbeat he could have put an exclamation point after “time for a picknick” instead.
My instincts tell me that exclamation points are ok because they come off as you giving her an order, but question marks aren’t. I’ve actually developed a habit of never using a question mark, even when asking a question. It’s easy to phrase questions so that they don’t need a question mark, especially by starting it with “do…”
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“Would you have time to meet at six?” “We can meet at six if you have time.” Yes, I see what you mean.
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corvinus
My instincts tell me that exclamation points are ok because they come off as you giving her an order, but question marks aren’t
———————————————————————————————-
And thats why so many people think you are gay.
Exclamation points are for people who lack the ability to present force using words.
It reeks of tryhardyness for attention.
The question is the tool of the judge.
Try being the judge for a change instead of running around shouting like a retard.
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Using exclamation point is “gay” now. Hah. James Blonde sounds like a severe case of shut-in keyboard jockey. They always have their categorical “Only this is manly!” rules with no connection to reality, as a way to “win” threads. No one with an actual social life talks like that, cutting everything down into thin slices of Allowed with mostly everything in normal human interaction falling into Not Allowed. Other people know that it’s a mix, it depends on the situation.
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Do you really need an exclamation point when you choose the name “Superfucker?”
I rest my case.
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@Arbiter: Why not just assume the sale?
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Naturally, I meant: “I think the fact that : – ) worked better….”
I didn’t think WordPress would turn that into a smiley too. You live and learn.
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Naturally, I meant: “I think the fact that : – ) worked better….”
Agreed. Smilies have developed subtle undercurrents of meaning over the years. ” : ) ” looks cutesy, like something a 10-year-old girl would use all the time, and this goes double for ” ( : “. OTOH, ” : – ) ” looks more like a smirk, and goes well if you say something sarcastic or humorous.
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I hate smiley faces. I think a lot of women do.
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Then you suck.
or
Then you suck 🙂
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In the early days of the web I remember people punctuating every sentence with emotion tags in angle brackets. wg for wry grin, etc.
In the corporate world smileys are typically used to convey a friendly tone for a sentence that might be misconstrued, especially with people you don’t know well. Of course with women that’s a mistake as they crave emotional ambiguity.
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@Lara What do you hate about them? I rarely use them. Sometimes I use the Sunglasses icon guy…but even then…rarely. As I mention below I use actual photos which I think are more intricate and interesting…vampires, ugly things, shocking things, animals…once in a while a bizarre looking cat, Ted that idiot Teddy Bear from the movie is a better punctuation point than a smiley icon.
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I was referring more to smiley faces on things such as t-shirts. I’ve never really liked them. I think they can be used well in texting, just sparingly as you said.
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Good advice from a Norwegian death metal musician: Burzum’s Guide to Women” (YouTube video).
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death metal musician, murderer and church arsonist, you forgot to add. So it’s a mixed bag. Shouldn’t go around murdering people.
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Clearly a well-rounded individual!
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Scandahoovians are probably the weirdest white people.
I’ve heard “German humor is freaking ghastly, it’s like black comedy without the comedy”, but that goes double for Scandinavian humor, what with all their death metal bands.
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Corvinus, you are listening to American distortions online again. With all respect, Americans: your country invented the light bulb and everything, and I know your IQ isn’t low, but you know almost jack shit about the rest of the world. For God’s sake, the vast majority of you couldn’t even place Ukraine on the map after four months of daily TV coverage – placing it in Africa, South America and Alaska even. You pick some scrap of knowledge you find online and blow it out of proportion, and if it fits what you WANT to think about a country you hold onto it. You never have any nuance, and a lot of what you think is complete nonsense.
Such as reading something by Roosh – and naturally he will praise the women in whatever country he can afford to be in (like the ugly criminals in Romania), and slander the rest, especially the Germanics who won’t touch him with a ten-foot pole. Or this, “German humor is freaking ghastly”, that’s nonsense. Germans and Scandinavians have the same humor as everyone else. You have just watched some SNL skit and think that’s how people are. And you combine it with what some hateful neocon wrote about the “socialist Scandinavians” (as if neocons wouldn’t be socialists), and with leftist propaganda about “the Scandinavians all agree with us, and they’re successful!” (successful despite Hollywood-induced leftism, not because of it), and you stop there. Then, just a few more scraps, or even just a few pictures, would change your mind a great deal, because there’s so little to base your view of these countries on in the first place.
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I think Scandinavians are misunderstood. Lots of people online say they’re rude, cold, emotionless or whatever, but out of the dozens of Scandinavians I talked to, I found them to be pretty cool people, albeit sometimes their lives can be pretty boring. The reality is that I think Scandinavians are naturally more introverted than other ethnic groups. Since I’m introverted too, I get what makes them tick somewhat and I even find some of their jokes funny, but I find satire and sarcasm amusing.
I think German humor is misunderstood because German grammar is fucked up and the verbs are at the end of the sentences. This means that delayed punchline jokes will be destroyed by translation. Germans also concatenate words. What I found interesting about Germans is that they’re a little drawn to filth while keeping outwards clean appearances. At least my ex was so.
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The media and leftist hivemind has more blood on its hands.
http://www.cnn.com/2015/03/12/us/ferguson-protests/index.html
CH, are you now blocking comments that mention YKW?
[CH: the moderator briefly left us.]
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Well she blocked three fucking kick-ass comments yesterday.
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She? A women has been blocking all the comments? lol!
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Fain be it for me to not want to discuss these things. But let’s keep political posts in political threads.
The blog owner has stated his opinion on this, too much politics is off-putting for newcomers. Don’t exploit his blog by ignoring his wishes. Don’t treat it as your own arena, not caring that it has a big audience only because of someone else’s hard work. Be respectful.
Write about politics in game threads only in response to someone else, when the post warrants a response. But there is no need to put a completely off-topic link there that you could save for a political thread. Of which there are plenty.
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8=========G
Note the piercing jewelry.
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Thanks for the tip!
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(o)(o)
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Refusing to traverse the digital landscape altogether, other than in messages that resemble Morse code in their simplicity, is the alpha way to go.
If you only deal with women in person, or on the phone you: a) have her undivided attention, b) can communicate more effectively and skip all the misinterpretations, and c) limit her ability to procrastinate (i.e. waste your manly time)
Chicks LOVE digital communication because it favors their coyness/flakiness. Don’t fall for it. AT ALL. Guys have gotten so soft about this and it’s really fn pathetic. Turn the tables on them and just say up front, “I don’t text.”
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Texting is just a method of communication and can be useful. I would say the main drawback with it, as far as game goes, is that it makes you too accessible.
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Machete don’t text.
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Exactly.
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That’s not how things are today, SuperFucker. Texts are part of ordinary communication now. I don’t have Facebook, but I accept that that’s part of what life is like for the teenager or young twenty-something.
However, you should still limit texts, of course. No long sharing with a girl you haven’t slept with.
As with many things, it’s a matter of nuance. Go to mainstream forums and they’ll go overboard in one direction. Too often in the manosphere people go overboard in the other direction, but that’s not how people act in real-life game. We should always include nuance or it won’t look credible.
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I actually learned this from a girl. A very hot girl. She was a 9-10 stripper. She never texted. She would only call or come to my house. It was very dominant behavior, and I found myself wondering why she always seemed to be running the show. Took me awhile to catch on. Eventually I started doing the same thing and never looked back.
Granted, most girls are not as confident as her, and concessions have to be made. But generally I’ve found that being a miser about digital communication with girls has served me very, very well.
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Being a miser about digital communication, yes. But that still allows for sending information through text or email. Just keep it short.
A rule that I still remember is: Only face time matters. Electronic communication should always be aimed toward meeting in person.
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Agreed. For some reason, things work better when discussed in person than via text.
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You are right (I can’t say your name without giggling though). I think men who text are wussy. I see it like they are fearful of chatting, scared=weakness.
In chimps those that smile are doing so out of submission. Humans do it too. Most women want a man to be dominant (not rude and aggressive) and therefore are attracted to those who brood or appear less than happy. It’s the opposite for women, you guys love us smiling.
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-1390319/Scientists-happy-men-significantly-attractive-ladies.html
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Men who text are wussy? It’s the way cellphones are used most of the time. People don’t leave the phone at home anymore, we carry it with us. So when you call someone, you never know what situation he is in. People generally consider it very rude to just call someone – you could be at work, in class, in a meeting. If you think texting is wussy you claim that practically everyone is a wuss. Thinking of some people I know, true alphas, and you saying they would be wusses – it does not compute.
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I can’t even comprehend this method of thinking. Its like we’re living on completely different planets. Texting allows me to game three girls at once with minimal investment, minimal effort and almost perfect accuracy (very difficult to accidentally make a false step via a text). Flakiness? If you’re not offering the best deal of her night that girl is going to flake on you regardless, and being that one weird guy who refuses to text certainly isn’t going to help this. You shouldn’t be trying to slap the toys out of the children’s hands in order to make a point that they won’t understand; you should be using their toys to control the paradigm.
Got a new lead that just I just picked up from daygame? I slow cook her until I can meet up with her. That night I’m escalating on top of an already-solid foundation, built exclusively through text, and she feels like she already knows me and provides no real obstacles going forward. Have an old girl that I want to keep spinning for a while longer? Ping her with a random cool/funny/gross pic to get her hamster running. Needy girl who needs reassurance? Forget the long droning phone call – just text her that you had a crazy dream about her last night (add colorful word painting as needed) and playfully deflect when she triumphantly claims that it means that you miss her.
There are simply too many benefits to throw the baby out with the bathwater on this. Serious question: how do you handle nights where you want to stir the pot and see which girls are going to show? How do you handle the limitations in calling windows (is she at work? On the toilet? Eating dinner?) and the inevitable voice mail cock block?
Do you know how I feel when someone calls me, nowadays? I feel like they’re wasting my damn time and that they’re not savvy enough to send me a text. It annoys me, and I’m a 38 year old man. This is 2015. The only people who call me are my parents and my older sister. I can’t even imagine what the 19 year old I’m gaming right now would think if I tried to chat her up over the phone, but I’m sure I couldn’t get away with it more than once without her finding reasons to get *super* unavailable. Phone calls take exponentially more time and more investment. Period. You may think its showing baddassery or old-school dominance, but all I’m seeing is a heaping dose of over-investment and lack of calibration, which I’m guessing is what some pretty young thing is going to be seeing as well.
tl;dr: I’m not concerned with looking ‘baddass’ or being ‘manly’ or maintaining patriarchal hegemony; I’m concerned with generating good feelings in the girl, getting her hot and ready and getting her out to point X to close the deal. Texting is a godsend for all of this. Ignore it at your peril. If you’re currently succeeding with this no-texting method, I’m willing to bet its in *spite* of your rule and not in any way because of it.
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When I was younger I was absolutely in love with a girl that was nonreciprocal. There were a lot of men after her, she would tell me about other guys doing annoying things. Once she told me she hated it when guys sent smiley faces in texts, and decided to stop talking with a guy who did that to her. So, I decided to be cheeky with her and started sending her excessive amounts of smiley faces and emojis in texts and she definitely didn’t think it was a joke or find it funny. She stopped talking to me altogether and is dating some idiot in a rock band of some sort. Lesson learned is that smiley faces are a very serious matter.
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Dude, that’s very funny.
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Doing something annoying to be funny is a delicate matter. I suppose you need to have already built some rapport, and even then it’s easy to do too much of it.
It’s like Eric Adams in Manowar singing a love song with his very strong voice on stage: he does that, but very rarely, and he can do it because the rest of the time he sings songs that are like hammer blows. He’s also a New York State instructor for bow hunting, has shrugged off all the media attacks on the band, and you would never think he’d ever be too soft. So he can sing that song. You have to firmly establish who you are first.
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She sounds like a humorless cunt. Send her this:
(_/o\_) <- lick it clean
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“some idiot in a rock band”
Martin, either this is a level of irony greater than I’d have guessed you could produce, in which case your whole presence here is imbued with an admirable degree of irony, or else you are utterly incapable of learning anything from this site.
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Ahh, I see what you mean, Sean. It’s like “now she’s dating that gym rat” or “some goddamn suit”.
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Exactly. He’s been here long enough that if he really means it, the case is hopeless.
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I dont think it was the smileys per se. I think it as because she found it silly humour or overly familiar if you didn’t have enough rapport (as previously mentioned).
I personally would have thought it was hilarious and probably would have flooded your inbox with pages and pages of smileys.
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Wait. Up-thread you say that men who send texts are wusses.
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@martin, that’s a good way to get rid of a girl: put too many smileys in your texts …
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It’s like conversation in real life.
Be brief and to the point.
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I’m actually pretty surprised that something non-looks related can get a woman 60% more messages. People on PUA and “gender realist” sites always state that physical appearance determines 95%-100% of a man’s attraction to a woman. Somebody is lying either way. If looks determine 95%+ of a man’s attraction to a woman, it should matter very little how a woman messages and/or texts a man.
[CH: i’m assuming the men saw the profile pic of the women chatting them, and filtered for that first. nice try tho]
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If looks determine 95%+ of a man’s attraction to a woman, he would message her back even if her message to him had no emoticons.
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Mr Chateau is right in what he is saying. There is science to back up his claims but he has used the facts and put it into online dating profiles which hardly makes that much of an impact (you’ll find his online photos indicate more about whether the guy is a smiler or not – he just happens to have a smiley in his text also). I think it’s correlation and not causation in this instance
Here’s some extra reading (I’m not sure if they mention the name of the study) but it’s been proven that smiling (in real life) isn’t in your best interest (if you’re a guy).
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-1390319/Scientists-happy-men-significantly-attractive-ladies.html
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“There is science to back up his claims but he has used the facts and put it into online dating profiles which hardly makes that much of an impact ”
Ehh, what?
Not sure I understand that right, but if you mean that people’s choices in dating sites don’t teach us anything, that is incorrect.
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This girl blew me off for a date two weeks ago. I haven’t talked to her since. A few of you said it was a shit test to see how eager I was to see her, but I’m thinking again that she’s just not interested.
Any thoughts?
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She’s probably just not interested. Even the PUAs with the tighest game don’t get 100% of attractive women who are interested in them. Very few things in this universe have a 100% or 0% probability. As far as I know, the only guarantee in life is death. Also, if it was a shit test, she’s not worth your time.
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“Also, if it was a shit test, she’s not worth your time.”
Why do you say that?
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if youre asking questions.. just do it, send yareally’s brando img a couple threads ago.
report back
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Either way don’t respond to her until she responds to you… see how that works :)? You can’t lose here by NOT responding. Now go find some other girls in the meantime.
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I see that, but it seems very likely that she just won’t respond at this point.
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Exactly – so why would you contact her AGAIN? either way you win, if it is a shit test (yes) you win by waiting her out. If it isn’t and you believe she isn’t interested, no text will change it.
Just go have a beer and go hit a place with women and talk with them.
BTW – how old are you Benson, what city?
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thats the dopamine mindfuck hit i take with the ex.
she will respond, she may hook up – but
she wants me to chase her..with her even saying that!
jesus murphy.
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“Exactly – so why would you contact her AGAIN? either way you win, if it is a shit test (yes) you win by waiting her out. If it isn’t and you believe she isn’t interested, no text will change it.”
The shit test explanation made sense to me when you guys proposed it, but what girl is going to make a guy she likes wait over two weeks for a text message? That doesn’t sound plausible to me, though correct me if I’m wrong.
Also, you don’t think it’s possible to turn around a bad situation?
“Just go have a beer and go hit a place with women and talk with them.”
The pickup really isn’t my problem, neither is getting dates. But I have a hard time getting the girls I like to stick around. Things usually fall apart within a few weeks or months.
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“BTW – how old are you Benson, what city?”
Mid 20s, Sacramento
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Glad to see that, while finer points will be debated endlessly, a lot of posters have the basics down pat. The PUA teachings hold.
but what girl is going to make a guy she likes wait over two weeks for a text message
No, she is probably not interested, and it is best to forget about her. HOWEVER, when you date a lot of women, you will be surprised when some of them come back months later. It doesn’t happen often, but it does happen. I wonder if there is some PUA term for that. Hmm, “delayed gratification”? Just this winter I had a very hot girl send me an email again after two years. Good times.
You say you have trouble keeping them, that it usually falls apart after a couple of weeks or months. Well, that is how things usually are. You date a while until you have learned how compatible you are. It’s a long search. But eventually you’ll find someone that you stay with longer.
Also, you’re in your mid-twenties. It’s not a worry that the dating ends after a couple of weeks or months in that age, especially not when you say you have no trouble finding a new girl.
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@Benson
Based on your age etc. And the fact that women are nexting you and not the other way around I conclude you are way too beta. Your line of reasoning and developing oneitis in this situation shows this as well. if pick up and dating are not a problem AND you are struggling with finding somone to stick around well this go firms too beta because an alpha who has no trouble picking up new women in his mid 20s doesn’t really care about much else.
None of this is a slight so don’t get butt hurt. It’s part of the red pill transition. You are giving off needy beta vibes that are turning off the girls once they get to know you. If I had to bet I’d say you are an above average looking guy. This is common the sheep in wolf’s clothing. This was me for a while as well.
Take the red pill. Take all of it. Because when you do you won’t be wondering about how to get girls to stick around or chasing them (gaming them yes but chasing no), you will be on to the next no fucks given. There is always another one waiting.
Think about this. Commit.
Don’t chase her. Don’t text her. Find another girl. And if this girl responds in 2 months you will have huge hand. If she doesn’t no matter you have others .
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That was me above btw.
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“None of this is a slight so don’t get butt hurt. It’s part of the red pill transition. You are giving off needy beta vibes that are turning off the girls once they get to know you.”
I’m not offended, I think you’re right. I’m relatively inexperienced, so I still miscalibrate my responses in certain situations, taking my ex’s beta bait for example. I appreciate the input, sentient.
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Did she not turn up to da date or did she let you down by stating she was busy? If so, did she make the mistake of not suggesting an alternate time (most girls don’t know to do this and it’s best that you ask this when asking her out to ascertain what’s really going on). Do you think she’s sitting by the phone praying you will call. I know that would be me and I’d be worried to call you because I’ve been taught through experience that this turns men off.
I dont know her (she may be a hard type of girl who’s testing you and this I know that sometimes women can really ruin a mans ego when she rejects him. Unless she shares the same social circle as you, nobody but you will know you were knocked back. If I was a man and really liked a girl who I suspected was testing my dominance, I’d turn up where she was so as not to give her the satisfaction she won and see how she acts towards me.
Here’s the good news, most of you are generally much more dominant than us so even if you did call and things didn’t work you, you’d just NEXT her, right? But if things did work out then you are naturally more likely to not give as many shits as us females do. It’s part of your biology not to get all emotional and bond like we do. You are naturally more dominant.
Sometimes there’s no malicious intent. You can usually tell by the type of girl she is, who she hangs out with and how many men want her. If she’s an attention seeker then I can pretty much guarantee you that it’s not worth any effort.
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If she really liked you she would drop everything to be with you. My guess is she isn’t terribly interested and something better came along, or she wasn’t up for going out. However, she must like you at least a little to agree to go out with you in the first place. Maybe ask her if she wants to reschedule. If she does, keep it cheap and casual, and see how she acts. She is not worth much effort or expense on your part at this time.
[CH: a woman in love will rearrange her life for her man. a woman on the fence will find a million excuses not to.]
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“However, she must like you at least a little to agree to go out with you in the first place. ”
That’s why I’m unsure. She went out with me twice, two days in a row, one of them was Valentine’s Day. She responded to all my texts and took my calls. Then she couldn’t get together for two weeks, so I talked to her a little everyday and then asked her out again the following week.
My only guess is that I chased a bit too much.
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benson..lol dude – this is exactly what i did with the ex when she initiated post breakup.. shit was fucking flawless- i didnt even chase that hard – but there’s the rub.
i still fucking chased, and sent text thst could come off as butthurt to her.
don’t do that.
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“a woman in love will rearrange her life for her man.”
YES to that and sometimes a women does not figure out she is in love for a while. I am telling you guys I have seen it in my life and have seen it in my daughters life. I can’t tell you how many times a women has come back to a man that did not flinch even after she went through another relationship. In fact a women who went through another relationship was even more likely to be in love because subconsciously she was always thinking about the guy who didn’t flinch while she was going out with her boyfriend.
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“benson..lol dude – this is exactly what i did with the ex when she initiated post breakup.. shit was fucking flawless- i didnt even chase that hard – but there’s the rub. i still fucking chased, and sent text thst could come off as butthurt to her. don’t do that.”
That’s funny. I didn’t get butthurt, but the daily text messages, few as they were, probably pushed me towards LJBFs land. Cutting off contact was the best way to put a stop to that. But I’m skeptical that it’ll motivate her to reach out, especially since we’re going on three weeks.
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Depends on how well you know her.
If you just met her and she blew you off, I’d do the same.
If you’ve been talking for a while and attempted this meet-up, then I’d shrug it off. However, I would put the ball in her court for initiating another meeting.
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I worked with her for a couple of years. I’d flirt with her to pass the time, maybe crumple up a piece of paper and hit her in the face with it, or stick a stamp to her forehead when we took the company mail to the post office.
When I got laid off, she was the one who gave me my final check. I was truly in no fucks given mode at the moment so I handed her my phone before I walked out and said, “Let’s stay in touch.” We started texting a week later and I set up our first date.
Point being, we have some rapport and it seems premature to write her off like an ex-gf or a girl who rejected me from the beginning.
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“This girl blew me off for a date two weeks ago. I haven’t talked to her since. A few of you said it was a shit test to see how eager I was to see her, but I’m thinking again that she’s just not interested.
Any thoughts?”
My first thought is this: Benson I caught you going beta.
My second thought is this: You still don’t understand how this works. This is part of the process of how a women develops that special attraction to you. When one of these girls finally breaks down and reaches out it is because she subconsciously thinks of you as a man now. A man who is not going to be swayed. A women, for some reason, wants a guy who could move on in life without her. If you contact it means you can’t emotionally let go. Now normally it is fine to contact but this was clearly a shit test which needs to be passed. What you need to do is get some more prospects and pass some more tests. In fact I pointed out one of the tests you passed when I said “what the hell is this!” on another post.
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“this was clearly a shit test which needs to be passed.”
I’m sticking with it for now; you didn’t catch me doing anything but asking a question. Still, they throw shit tests at you when they’re attracted to you, and girls who are attracted to you don’t ignore you for weeks at a time.
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hah – if you hold out benson, then i will as well.
we’ll see how shit goes down.
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@Benson…she flaked. She didn’t give a reason. I would reach out one more time with some light-hearted: “Hey smiley girl, time for drinks…”
If she blows you off again, she’s not interested.
Same thing happened to me, girl I’d made plans with and who seemed keen to meet said she was busy on the day of the date but didn’t reschedule.
I told her if we met up again, she’d be buying.
I reached out to her a few weeks later: “I think you owe me a drink…”
She replied yes she did and then never followed up. So I’ve left it.
If this is a busy girl, give her a second chance. If she blows you off…then leave it.
When you reach out, keep it light….
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“she flaked. She didn’t give a reason. I would reach out one more time with some light-hearted”
She gave a reason that sounded legitimate. But I invited her out several days in advance and she had already filled up her free time, which means she wasn’t all that eager to see me.
I may reach out. I’ll report back.
I wonder why you didn’t try to set a meet after she agreed that she owed you a drink.
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@walawala
what’s the difference between Benson’s situation, and my situation?
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@Stained glass…as I recall, your situation was an ex who was trying to get you to become a beta orbiter by texting, then not being around, then kind of being around…
In Benson’s case, from what he writes, things are going well, girl just suddenly isn’t around….usually has to do with a guy either new or an “ex” popping back into her life.
Either way, she hasn’t contacted him and thing were going well, he has nothing to lose by firing off a ping text to see how she responds.
You can gauge interest not by what a girl says..but by how quickly she replies to texts….If he’s replying within 5 minutes she’s keen…if she’s replying within a minute…her hamster is in over-drive…
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I agree with the other commenters, make one more attempt to take her out. Don’t call or text for any other reason than to make plans to go out.
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OH nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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@ RA
that’s a good way to get rid of a girl: put too many smileys in your texts …
But if she’s sharp, she’ll spot the manipulation and chase you harder…heh
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that’s what i was thinking. i totally saw the humor in it and a cool, SMART, funny girl would get it too. it’s the snarky defensive types that won’t play along. they want you to think they are too good for that kind of thing.
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Now the SJWs are after booth babes – wtf?
http://www.reaxxion.com/6150/booth-babes-and-sexy-cosplayers-are-in-danger-of-being-completely-banned-from-events
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Why are all you “alpha males” (and wannabes) so damned misogynistic? You don’t need to outright sexually humiliate women in public just to prove how much of a man you are. Patriarchy may be the natural order, but there’s a difference between leadership and tyranny.
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“misogynistic” to react when feminists attack other women. Nice try.
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Matthew, would you check me for pin-worms?
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Why do you hate women? Don’t you want them to have jobs and choices and self-determination? Maybe you’d prefer they all wear burkhas?
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So glad these SJW jackasses have no traction here in Asia. Booth girls have been a part of trade shows, auto shows, computer shows, you name it, for decades, and they’re not going anywhere.
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Is there an emoticon for a shit-eating grin?
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Good old X D
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😏
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[…] Source: Heartiste […]
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Something for you guys to incorporate… At a bar, two women come in and take the stools next to me. One dressed in a gray sweatshirt and sneakers, with shortish blond hair and the other a 7 with long curly hair, pretty eyes, good figure, long curly hair and dressed in leopard print spandex, knee high leather boots and a flimsey blouse. The 7 sits next to me.
Long story that’s pretty funny, can’t tell it all here for time, but i was using the Mystery logistical qualifier, so ask them if they were here with anyone and how long they knew each other. I misheard them, from their answer it sounded like they were lesbians, and how they were dressed, I’m like ok a butch and a lipstick lesbian, makes sense, especially in this city.
So I am teasing them all night about being lesbians and somehow we get on to dick size, So I am asking them about if they ever saw a dick and stuff like that… They are dying and eating it up. Still doesn’t dawn on me, though I am feeling some IOI’s, thinking maybe she is bi?.
I tell them about this recent penis size survey and ask them to guess the average size they have seen. The butch says 6 inches and the 7 says 7.5, and the butch rolls her eyes. I tell her that 7.5 was after the UNC Duke game right? So tease some more.
Then I bring up, “you know how women are very bad at guessing the size of things” and they are agreeing and nodding. I take 7’s hand and open up the palm flat “you see this – from palm to finger tops” and I am running my hand up and down her hand (kino), looking in her eyes but not LASERing, because I think they are lesbians LOL. This here is 12 inches” Very serious delivery. The guy bartender hears this and starts dying laughing. Then the girls get it and start cracking up…
At the end of the night, when I finally found out at almost closing time they weren’t lesbians I amped up the game a bit and made out some with the 7, but she knew I was married from my very frank talk and said she was “old enough to know better” (was her birthday) and they ran off…
Interesting example of dancing monkey. I had them captivated all night and qualifying, missed all the IOI’s thinking they were gay (LOL) and did not run my strong kino and laser… and that my friends was the difference. Good conversation and fun = nothing without sexual intent.
Good kino routine though, will use again.
Here is the study BTW http://rhrealitycheck.org/article/2015/03/05/new-study-gives-definitive-answer-average-penis-size/
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Hah, funny story! Talk about burning your chances. Well, it happens to all of us. Not exactly like that, though.
Yes, I read about that study. I can tell you all, girls don’t like a penis that is too large. Especially not if it is too wide. Especially not if she is a petite girl and you go for that type. You’ll end up only have sex in the missionary position because anything else hurts too much.
So all the “muhdik” talk is just crap.
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How bout emojis during menstruation?
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Real men do not “text” with silly electronic gadgets. They talk and make eye contact. Modern technology is making modern “men” weak.
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Relax, old man. It’s just a new form of communication that can be leveraged to your advantage.
If we’re talking serious conversations and real issues, ditch the phone and request a face to face. If you’re just getting a feel for her, a brief/sporadic text convo could do the trick. Just don’t turn into the guy who hunches over his phone all day, inadvertently giving all your attention away.
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MC here is like that, just go up-thread and see. Trying to score a few points by doing that old routine for keyboard jockeys: declare what is the most manly, and everything else is for pussies. You can easily tell when they have no connection to reality. Think Chiglinsky here is ever going to post a personal field report? The question is rhetorical, of course.
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If you’re asking a question use the words to ask it and leave the question mark off. “Do you have any…” “Are there any…” That kind of thing. Every time I send a question mark I can tell it weakens my position just a hair even if the girl already likes me. I think it has to do with voice tone. When you normally ask a question your voice mostly stays flat, when you’re clueless it goes up and sounds weak. A question mark signifies the latter, using the words to ask the question conveys the former.
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A big part of my game includes sending photos…they can be photos of funny things, cartoon characters, food, a cocktail i’m having. I avoid any kind of emoticons….but one I have sent when she asks : “Are you having dinner?” or “I’m cooking now…” or “What are you doing?” is something from this collection….
http://www.dreamstime.com/photos-images/lion-eating.html
I haven’t seen or gotten the sense it’s “beta”…most girls think it’s shocking or original because dudes either don’t sent stuff or send smiley’s…
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Emoticons are inherently feminine, as is emoting. Men can express themselves using words and logic. I don’t even see the old-fashioned smiley faces–they’re sideways. Those ugly little globs of punctuation litter the digital thoroughfare as piles of horseshit did the Main Streets of the Wild West.
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Calling all bros…quandary!
Tomorrow night: date planned now with one of the women I’m banging (#1 choice, #2 I don’t care about right now…). Her body is tight and the sex is thermonuclear.
However…
Earlier in the week I got a text out of the blue from a woman I haven’t banged yet; first 2 dates went OK, drinks only…Pros: tall, dark hair, milky skin, slender legs and narrow hips, built like a fuck machine with a nice looking set, plus she’s Turkish, so it’s an opportunity to add to the flag count. Cons: though good rapport and some IOIs, kino and leading didn’t really get me anywhere…it was very difficult to get make progress with this one…maybe the partial language barrier? Anyway, we agreed to go out again tomorrow BEFORE I had the date with #1 locked in. But I want #1…every instinct tells me the poon in hand is worth two in the bush.
I can easily lie to Ms. Turkey (“sudden issue with the kids I have to take care of”, etc). But I’m throwing it out there for suggestions, as this kind of falls under text game: how best to keep her interest until a time that’s better for me? Simple lie? Flake on her? Asshole game? Other (be bold and flake on #1)?
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@Hackett I’ve been in this situation. Two things: 1) the way you’ve written this, you’ve got oneitis for the Turk and that could make you overly eager to please leading to over-gaming given the perceived “urgency” of getting through the first date to then bang the second.
Why did you set up the date with hot Turk on same day as the sure thing? You’re way too eager.
The solution here is to go with the sure thing.
The Turk texted you so she’s clearly keen. You risk losing her if you blow her off…Hot chicks without proper comfort or rapport have way too many options.
Manager the Turk when you meet, then set up another date after that….shows you’re busy, not too eager and also interested enough. You’ll be able to gauge her interest when you show up….Don’t tell her you have another date obviously. Meet, see how it goes…build in enough time to game her properly, then say “I’ve got to meet up with some friends, let’s meet up on Sunday….duty calls…bye.”
Don’t flake on #1, that’s stupid. Meet, tell her you have other plans, false time constraint.
I always go with what I have rather than punting on the other one. What would happen is your inner game would be shot, you’ll have a nice time with the Turk, probably not bang her because you’re too eager and then have nothing.
Chill dude, you’re doing great, this is a “First world problem” and your game is solid so far. Keep your frame, you’re the prize, assume the sale…don’t double up like that it just creates inner turmoil and could harm your inner game.
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Simply change the day with the Turkette, it’s no big deal.
In fact, it can actually be positive. Shows that you are not too eager. Change it to the day after. People understand that other people can have forbidding schedules sometimes. And she knows she’s hot, so she knows you’re not going to blow her off.
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@walawala @ Arbiter,
Thank you for taking the time to offer your inputs. On Friday night, I considered up to the last minute what to do about ‘the Turkette’. Here’s what happened.
We did not have a meeting place or time set up, just the understanding from texts earlier in the week that we would figure out something to do together after she got off work. On my way to meet #1 (and later bang the living daylights out of; I will share the game-relevant details on that when the right post topic comes up), the Turkette texts:
Soooo? 🙂
My reply? Nothing. I haven’t bothered texting back at all. It’s not outer limits-asshole, but it is asshole game. I didn’t even feel like explaining, much less rearranging, my schedule. I had real ‘dad duty’ constraints on my time Saturday night, which is why I couldn’t do a simple shift anyway.
And you know what? I don’t think I should dance around with this one. I just don’t care. It could be that I wasn’t see this during our first two dates a few weeks ago. Maybe she’s not looking for the cool, aloof guy thing I have learned how to do…maybe she is craving the asshole she has never gotten in her life, or not enough of. If she is, I’ll give her a dose but good. If not, so what? I’ve got #1 wrapped around my finger.
Yeah, the Turkette was DTF. Might as well be on the marquee in Times Square. That’s not good enough for me any more. I’m in a position to pick and choose now, and I want more than a let’s-see-how-it-goes-for-us-screw. I want explosive passion (#1 makes the grade, #2 does not, btw).
Like Risky Business, sometimes you just gotta say: WTF…
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Just as there’s no wrong musical note, just wrong timing, there’s nothing wrong with emojis in and of themselves.
If you find yourself inserting :p to denote a joke or a 😉 to indicate desire, you’re doing it wrong. The tension you feel upon a quip that she can interpret a multitude of ways? That is good. Use it to your advantage. Her unaware of your true feelings to her? Also good tension. Why discard that?
Of course, if emojis and smiley faces are part of your usual communication, and you don’t communicate with her as though she’s the only female who can ever like you, then you’re in the clear.
I’m afraid people will get caught up in the superficial by going with hard and fast rules instead of mindsets. If you’re insecure, you will get sniffed out eventually, smileyface or not.
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some coworker chick was sending me texts while we sat in an all hands meeting. I just started replying with completely random emojis. At the next break I asked how long it took her to realize that i was just sending randoms….
she laughed because she’d been trying to figure out what I’d been meaning….
It’s fun running jerkboy game because you are outcome independent. She’s cute but married and I’m married and have no desire for her anyway, but the validation I get from her liking me helps with all the female staff around here.
Well, except my male boss is jealous of my entourage….
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The use or over-use of emoticons to denote a “joke” suggests insecurity in the delivery…just like smacking someone on the shoulder and saying “Just kidding” implies they didn’t get the joke…
There should always be some ambiguity in texts to girls.
One girl I’m banging asked me for drinks which I couldn’t make due to other commitments. I was in the middle of a few things and replied in a straight way…that I was packing and preparing for something…her response was: “That’s the most serious you’ve ever replied to me, usually you just reply with one word.”
It’s the mixing up of messages and delivery that creates anticipation and “Gina tingles”. I rarely use them now except the little animals and the sunglasses guy.
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…
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Same goes for using ‘Lol’
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“this will show her how happy and upbeat i am! i’m so enthused to be talking to her. so enthused! she will like me more when she sees how enthused i am that an electronic blip on a screen is making me horny big time.”
This is how any real human being ought to think. Why are women so perverse?
“God is love devoid of the ape-nature… If we preserve this love among our kind, then God will remain in us.”
— I John IV.8;12
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=====>
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Yeah; women pretty much hate ingratiating beta males.
Learned that lesson the hard way.
Asked a woman out; she said yes, we compared schedules the next day, picked a day.
I texted to set a specific time on that day the next day and she texted back might go to some other city that day so don’t set anything in stone.
So I was like sure, just go to that and we can get together some other time.
She replied back a few times just to make sure it was okay. I said yes more or less every time.
After that she basically stopped interacting with me.
Think I failed her shit test.
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…and not texting a fucking reply at all = repeat her previous text with some caps for emphasis – 100%.
…and not replying to that shit either = frustrated text in all caps (ie – WHY ARE YOU NOT ANSWERING ME??? or some other shit) – 100%
Fuck, man. I got shit to do. I don’t have all day to lob meaningless comments back and forth with her or anyone else. That’s what boyfriends are for.
Hot extended fuck at my place later. She brings the Sonic brownbag. Mayo no mustard or cheese on mine. And a jug of Ocean Spray cran-grape.
Best drink I’ve found to shorten refractory.
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Just got back from dinner with my dad and brother. I flirted with one of the waitresses before we ate and she smiled at me when she walked by later, so I decided to go for the number before leaving. My family headed out and I slowed down so I could catch her as she left one of her tables:
Her: So now you’re going to walk with me?
Me: Yes, what’s your name?
Her: Lisa.
Me. Hi. I’m Benson. Put your number in my phone.
Her: I have a boyfriend.
Me: So?
Her: He was your server.
Me: OK, bye.
I thought you guys might appreciate this. The story is worth more than her number, I think.
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[…] Apparently This is a thing: […]
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