What men are subconsciously thinking when they litter their texts and chats to women with smilies:
this will show her how happy and upbeat i am! i’m so enthused to be talking to her. so enthused! she will like me more when she sees how enthused i am that an electronic blip on a screen is making me horny big time.
What women are subconsciously thinking when they receive texts and chats littered with smilies from men:
ugh gross. that’s his fourth smiley. why is he trying so hard? he must not get laid much. if no other women want him, why would i want him? next.
CH once admonished men against the self-defeating compulsion to send women tons of smilies in an effort to build a romantic connection.
1. Too many smilies and question marks. A good rule of thumb when texting or emailing a girl is simply to refrain from using emoticons or question marks at all. Following this rule will help rewire your brain into mimicking the brain of an alpha.
Some emojis are useful as a pickup tool. But smilies — lots of ingratiating smilies — are the kiss-off of death to any budding ASCII courtship. Women are contemptuous of ingratiating betas, and a surfeit of smilies is a leading indicator of an appeasing man with the character of a chew toy. The smilies are weak.
Now, as it so happens, ♂SCIENCE♂ affirms this CH dictum.
It turns out that men who insert this little guy “:)” in their dating profiles or messages don’t get a good response from the ladies (on a personal note, I’ve heard some women say that the only thing they look forward to less than a smiley or, God forbid, winky face is an unsolicited picture of a dude’s junk… but that’s another story).
After studying a sample of 4,000 members, Zoosk found that men with a “:)” in their profile get 6% less incoming messages and 12% fewer responses to outgoing messages. Using a “:)” in an actual message decreased response rates by a whopping 66%.
You can get your hard truths later, after the party’s over, by waiting for social science studies to percolate through the genderqueersphere, or you can get them now, before the plebes have roused from slumber, as an honored guest of Le Chateau.
Men, on the other hand, love a good emoticon. So much so that women with a “:)” in their profile get 60% more messages.
To a man’s brain, an emotionally open woman is a contender to be a sexually open woman.
Zoosk found that using the slightly longer “:-)” emoticon in a message actually increases responses by 13%.
I bet the men using the full “:-)” used it less frequently than the men sending the desperate “:)” configuration used their smiley choice. “:)” lends itself to mass beta spamming.
Ya know, forget all this smiley crap. Just stick with the tried-and-true, matchmaking basics.