What A Butthurt Feminist Sounds Like

A commenter going by the handle Desdinova Superstar (she bright long time) was a little piqued about the crass CH insinuation that makeup is a try-hard, penis-pedestaling beautification routine women religiously perform according to the precepts of an ancient genetic algorithm that subconsciously compels them to attract the highest quality men possible. Her ham-headed feminist gogrrl delusion is the sort of fresh meat I love to tear from the bone.

– “Women should, and will, continue to put the penis on a pedestal and try-hard to please men by using makeup to increase their attractiveness”

I personally do not believe that women use makeup to attract men.

You may not believe in sublimated sexual displays, but sexual displays believe in you.

I believe that women use makeup and clothing to compete with the attractiveness of other women.

Same difference. Women compete with other women to be the one woman men can’t help but notice.

The thought of attracting men hardly crosses their mind.

This is what all girls say. I recall a girlfriend once indignantly proclaiming, when I teased her on the matter, that she dolls herself up for no one but herself. It is to guffaw.

Girlwords carry about as much weight as John Scalzi’s jockstrap. It doesn’t matter that girls say they never think about attracting men when they slip into high heels and a slinky dress. That no-good, horrible, very bad thought doesn’t have to cross a woman’s mind for the underlying function to be the same: Namely, the enhancement of her beauty to attract men from among whom she can choose as her best option mate. Her gene puppeteer has made sure she does the right things to maximize her chances of scoring Mr. Right. Paradoxically, her genes have also made sure she is only dimly aware, if at all, of the procreatively devious machinations of her helical overlord. The transmission signal is strengthened when the electrochemical vessel doesn’t poke around too much in the circuitry.

They want to look better, more attractive, and get the attention of the women they’re competing against.

Look better… for men. Be more attractive… for men. Get the attention of women… to remind them not to poach their men.

Attracting men is just a side effect.

Dear adorably deluded Desdinova, you have it backwards. Attracting a suitable man is the prime directive. Makeup is the side effect.

The only time women think about attracting a man is when they’re competing against each other for a man who has high social value.

Or anytime a charming man enters the room, with or without other women present. Do you think women can only have feelings of lust or love for a man when other women are loitering nearby?

The only time women put on makeup for a man is when they’re self-conscious about their imperfections which usually occurs at the beginning of a relationship.

Or, you know, which occurs every other time a woman wants to feel attractive, including all that time as a single lady bemoaning her singleness.

After she gets “comfortable”, she’s no longer self-conscious and quits wearing makeup.

Clarification: After her boyfriend turns beta, she no longer worries about pleasing him. Which should be a lesson for men who choose the ball and chain. And, fyi, most women deep in relationships continue wearing makeup outside the home and on romantic nights out.

I swear, the argumentative style and peculiar mental contortions that feminists exhibit when reminded of their ultimate purpose here on earth share amazing similarities with the semantic effluvium of game-hating betas angrily whining against “putting the pussy on a pedestal”. Two peabrains in a pod. They belong together.