One reason why helicopter parenting is on the rise may have to do with the general post-industrial trend toward smaller families (fewer children, and fewer parents in each home). If you only have one kid, you’ll be more careful about shielding your kid from uncertainties and dangers. If there’s only one parent to guide that kid through the thickets of life, it’ll be easier to simply keep the kid away from unscheduled adventures that could mean more stress for the single mom.
Agnostic writes a lot about helicopter parenting, so I wonder if he’s already touched on the role of small families in driving the obsessive-compulsive parenting trend. Big families used to mean you could let one or two buggers slip through the cracks without freaking out about the possibility of total loss of your genetic heritage.
Probably has a lot to do with a lack of men who act as role models. I see kids growing up every fucking day without a father to guide them and train them about how to act. Girls get fucking before they turn 15, and guys either become thugs, or become betaboys with either noodle arms, or bitchtits, or both.
These same helicopter parents have no problem sending off their ripe daughters into slut conversion systems (colleges) 500 miles away from home into another state.
If the men lose balls, women try to emulate having them. And when the man jawed women take charge, you end up with helicopter parents in early childhood, and eventually thugs, sluts and beta boys when they grow up.
These sluts then fuck the thugs and pop out mulattoes and then marry the betas in their late 30’s and force the betas to foot the bill, and the cycle repeats itself.
What a sorry state of affairs. What a sad world!
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Good comment. I’d add that this is a societywide thing that has been done to us on purpose by a certain tribe, for the purpose of killing the goy family and imposing socialism. Many men are not there with their kids not by choice. The state literally mandates single motherhood, and we see the results.
As I have said, women are not even very good parents, contrary to every MSM stereotype.
https://twitter.com/heartiste (see pic of mother dumping her baby on the ground with cell phone in hand).
Kids need their father, not the other way around. Traditionally it is the father, who possesses logic, experience, and calmness, who is the teacher of the children. The modern feminist idea is completely backwards.
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how tall are they?
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Newest insult to Millenials: STFU, noodle arm bitch tits!
LUV it!
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> “Newest insult to Millenials”
To a certain extent, it’s not their fault. If a boy grows up to have “noodle arm bitch tits”, then that’s on his FATHER. Those boys need us – in the Dark Enlightenment – the true fathers they never had.
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[…] Helicopter Parents […]
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To see what happens to a society when families, as a norm, have only one child, one only needs to google “Little Emperor.” China’s one-child policy has resulted in a heckuvalotta helicopter parents.
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At least their kids aren’t turning into crips/bloods members who kill, rape, sell drugs, and other illegal activities.
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No, their excess male population will be burned off in a future large industrial scale war.
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but if they were, you would still have a job.
wake up white man.
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Smaller families could be the reason. I’m not sure it is. It’s one of those “nobody knows” things (as is often the case with secular trends).
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If you want your children to do anything even remotely technical these days, then you absolutely have to start ’em young. There is no more low hanging fruit [at least not for the foreseeable future]. If a boy hasn’t finished up his two semesters of single-variable Calculus by about the age of 16 [and arguably by the age of 14], then he can kiss a high-powered career in Mathematics or Physics the he11 goodbye.
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Perhaps the best analogy is the story of the animal rights group that broke into a research facility and “liberated” domesticated rabbits into the wild.
These kids do not and will not fare well in the world outside of the oversight and resources of their parents. I have known a few single children and my life and inevitably there is usually something a bit off about their mental makeup.
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Or the chick who went to Haiti and tried to dissuade her rapist by informing him she was a Malcolm X scholar.
Liberal indoctrination simply does not replace real education. It’s like walking across a minefield with a map prepared for you by your enemies.
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She probably didn’t speak fluent French. Nobody would rape a Malcom X scholar.
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[…] Helicopter Parents […]
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Probably more a result of idle hands. 3+ kids you don’t have time to be a helicopter parent
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Most parents love to pro-offer advice to expecting parents. I always say “I could give you all sorts of advice but you won’t believe me until you have your second kid”
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“I could give you all sorts of advice but” …my set of experiences in parenting are exclusive to dealing with DNA very similar to my own, whereas you have DNA in your family which might be wildly different from ours, ergo you are likely to experience shiznat in parenting which is way outside the bounds of anything that I would have expected based upon my own experiences.
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The feminization of men must be an important factor in this.
Traditionally it was mothers who were over protecting the kids and fathers who would “throw them in the swimming pool” ( to give an example ) to toughen them up.
It was also fathers who were the authority figure, the one who disciplined the kids.
Now fathers are taking a back seat, there is paranoia about spanking kids and a paranoia about anything that could remotely be called “violence” etc etc… and men are acting more like women, and are letting women overprotect the kids, if not join them in over protecting the kids.
That is what happens when men take a back seat and let women run things, and when a society is feminising its men.
Simply look at how elementary schools are run these days; in many schools young boys are not allowed to run or “roughhouse” or play any game which ” violent” because about 90% of the staff from teachers to school directors are women.
If we let them, women ( well not all of them but most ) would wrap kids in bubble wrap and have boys play with dolls.
[CH: pro diagnosis.]
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Exactly what I was going to say… or to simplify it..
Fathers provide confidence… mothers provide comfort.
when the father is being too harsh… I.E. “what’s wrong with you?! can’t you do anything right??” the mother was there to assure the child “there there, you know he loves you.. he just had a had day at work.. he doesn’t mean it”
OTOH.. when the mother was being too comforting (to use the pool example): “okay sweetie, if you’re scared and don’t want to swim, no one will make you<3" until dear ol dad balances it out by throwing the kid in…. and what do you know, the kid realizes "hey, water wont kill me after all!" and enjoys learning to swim.
Without the confidence, you get a push over that wont take risks…. without the comfort, you get a bitter beta shouting "you're not the boss of me!"
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Spanking has gone underground. Its the dirty secret. And I strongly suspect the psychopaths that protest it the loudest are the ones that take it to abusive levels when they do use it as punishment.
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> “The feminization of men” You know who are the ultimate helicopter parents? FOOTBALL DADS! It takes more than a decade of hard work [roughly age 6 to age 18] in order to prep a white boy to earn an NCAA Div I scholarship at quarterback. And to get him to the point that he can actually start at quarterback in NCAA Div I , much less be drafted by the NFL? Say hello to Archie Manning begetting Peyton & Eli Manning. Raising boys like that is a FULL TIME JOB!!!
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MORE HELICOPTER DADS: Johann Sebastian Bach [=> Wilhelm Friedmann, Carl Philipp Emanuel, Johann Christian]. Leopold Mozart [=> Wolfgang Amadeus]. Johann Beethoven [=> Ludwig]. Richard Wagner [=> Siegried].
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Let me throw in an addendum, though: Mostly I do NOT see the kinds of parents which I’m describing above – the parents who are homeschooling in advanced mathematics, or Goldberg Variations grand piano technique, or how to throw a football spiral six or seven standard deviations better than the average little-leaguer.
MOSTLY what I see are parents who are “raising” [lowering?] their little boys to be broken-souled head-bowed effeminate Beta and Gamma victims of the War Against Boys, and their little girls to be hypergamous carousel-riding Cluster-B Tinder-Sluts. It takes a whole lot of work [24×7] to be the former kind of parent. Whereas it’s a whole lot easier to be the latter kind of parent – turn on the TV to the Disney channel YKW propaganda, hand the boys a PlayStation with all the latest games, hand the girls an iPhag with unlimited minutes, feed them ready-to-serve processed food rather than true home-cooked meals, never bother to get them any true cardiovascular exercise, etc etc etc…
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About the “make your kid a 1/4 back” comment. If it is so hard to do and the odds of success are so long, why would you destroy your son’s enjoyment of his young life by putting him through all of those “achievement” hoops? And the same with the “high-powered” nerd careers being some kind of glorified cubicle mouse. Fuck them. These are all ideas of achievement that are defined by other people as ways to make your kid work hard to become their slave or clown.
Help your kid become who he is, not what you want him to be. Help him to be social, friendly and easy going, respecting others but with a clear idea of his own firm boundaries. Most of us have that capacity just by virtue of being humans.
Maintain his health. Keep him away from the food pyramid. Take him surfing if he likes. Get him music lessons if he has an interest. And if he has a true genius talent, sure, give him an opportunity to develop and apply it.
But fuck “success” unless it is in him already. Life can be eminently enjoyable without “success”.
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> “But fuck “success” unless it is in him already.”
For the foreseeable future, the days of Wilbur & Orville Wright inventing the discipline of aeronautics in the backroom of their bicycle shop are gone. Getting your PhD in a worthwhile discipline, and working your way into a quality laboratory – much less starting your own laboratory and then earning tenure – takes DECADES of study. Parents who kick the can down the road on the academics are raising kids who will NEVER reach their full potential.
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Of course the other question is whether it’s time to encourage the kids to turn their backs on all that insanity of technology and go full Luddite-Amish and skip the torture of the decades of study and just start making babies while they’re still a teenagers. The meek shall inherit the earth…
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I substitute teach as a side gig, and there is usually 1-2 “trouble” kids in each class, always boys, per the advice of the female teacher. These boys ALWAYS respond well when I demand respect from them, and I return it when they do well. These kids mellow out over the day, and I usually get followed around toward the end of the day, kids wanting to be close and show off. It has occurred to me numerous times that these kids, boys especially, would do better if they were treated like men, expectation-wise, and given due credit when they do. But only male teachers, in my experience, can do this. Women teachers at their best are coddling, at their worst tyrants. Directionless, high energy boys respond to neither.
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My comment has vanished???
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It’s just Canadian. It tends to disappear in a crowd.
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I think working moms feel guilty they’re not home and overcompensate in other ways.
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> “working moms… overcompensate in other ways”
With the WMs, it’s the useless and purposeless toys and clothing and trips to exotic destinations and computer game terminals and iPhags with unlimited minutes family plans. Plus the pharmaceuticals – Ritalin, Adderall, and the SSRIs. Bribe them with the trinkets, and dope ’em up with the pills.
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likewise, do you think feminism gets a lot of its power from men who are go-grrling their only child, who happens to be not the boy they wished they had?
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Sailer pointed this out years ago, probably when his own kids were at the age where he would see this stuff in parents of their team-mates: especially athletic dads (though they might be somewhat more alpha than average) were, if they only had daughters, the very ones to push their little girls hard in sports, and later, buy into go-girls sports politics (eg 50-50 college sports funding for the sexes, despite the 95-5 relevancy split).
Sailer likes to say sports scholarships are affirmative action for lesbians, but it’s not just them.
It’s man-jawed 4-6 range Amazonian daughters of reasonably masculine men too.
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I despise helicopter parents. It seems like more of an American thing than a European thing and definitely more of a Chinese thing than an American thing. My first encounter with it was as a young boy when I discovered that there were people who were forced to play instruments by their parents because it would “build character” but it was funny how the instruments that “build character” were the ones considered most prestigious to play. I believe helicopter parents are failures inside who just want to live vicariously through their children and have chosen to conform to the current system of belief wherein one chases prestige through intellectual pursuits. I absolutely hate it. I don’t know whether feminism has anything to do with it, but it certainly does seem mothers are more likely to be helicopter parents. For me, if you are going to try to be a violinist or a physicist or whatever, it had better be because you like it not because your parents thought it would make them look good. ffs.
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There is lot to be said for making your kid find one thing they enjoy and making them stick with it. It builds self esteem and discipline and the hard work shows them what is required to actually get good at something. That being said, forcing them to learn lots of shit just for prestige is ridiuclous. A Chinese couple across the street had two boys (4 and 7) that each practiced piano at least an hour a day, practice some math tricks so they could multiply and divide large numbers in their head and also practiced violin in addition to learning Chinese. There was no effort to make sure they know how to socialize and or quickly make friends. This is the biggest mistake they make. I tell my kids to make as many friends as they can and if they can find one thing that each person is good at try to pick it up and/or learn it from them.
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If helicopter parents were truly the failures of society, you’d see more Black and Hispanic helicopter parents. Helicopter parents tend to be high class White married folks who are doing everything they can to ensure that their kids turn out to be just as successful as they were. In short,
I’d rather my parents push me into being a physicist than have them push me into being a welfare queen crack addict.
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I am not a helicopter parent. My idea of a good Saturday is to kick them outside and tell the 5 & 7 year old to stay within 4 blocks of the house which includes a 6 acre park and prevents them from crossing a major road.
That being said they all have the following mandated structured activities:
1) Learn to swim
2) Play a team sport from 6 to 10 (though the girl gets away with tennis)
3) Take 2 years of piano, w/30 minutes a day practice.
I suppose I could find all kinds of studies as to why this helps teach a kids this or that, but its what my sister and I went through and we turned out alright.
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I lived in hong kong for a dozen years. Had an apartment in mid-levels (for those who know the place). As is commonly the case, from my 22nd floor flat I could see into many flats across the way and as a result I was able to watch throughout that time a boy being raised from kinder-age to teenage in a Chinese family.
He had a desk at the window in his small room (a wealthy area but still, all bedrooms are small there) and every day for as long as I was there he would sit at that desk after school studying,or he would pratice the violin, and he would do so even on weekends and holidays while either the maid or mother was stationed at the door to wake the young lad up if ever he should nod off at his desk or pause in his practice. It was simply disgraceful, but then, the Chinese family system is a system of lifetime indentured servitude.
I believe they are called “tiger mothers” because they enjoy the taste of young humans.
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I think that the vast majority of helicopter parents are married. Single parents simply don’t have the time/energy to be helicopter parents. Also, most single parents are either Black, Hispanic, or underclass White, and these groups are typically not known for caring too much about their kids’ future outcomes.
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CH,
This is where your not being a parent has left you blind to the real truth. The “helicopter parent” phenomena isn’t being driven by “the feminization of men.”
The “helicopter parent” phenomena is very much driven by the rise of tyrannical Child Protection Services departments.
These depraved institutions do not save kids from the disintegrated families in the low class white trash/minority prole or illegal immigrant families. In fact it is dangerous for CPS to get involved with such cases due to the violence of prole parents and they increasingly avoid them.
The CPS across the country have turned into organizations where middle/upper class women and very upper class male parents with political connections harass other middle class families (and divorced wives of powerful men) with Child Protection Services “SWAT-ing” type complaints, often related to divorce and intra-family child custody disputes between divorced single moms and more politically powerful relatives.
“Helicopter parenting” is less and less about women indulging themselves in overtaking the father’s role than it is a case of legal due diligence against a CPS “Swat-ing”.
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Great points. I have a cousin who is an only child, and his mom was especially overprotective with him. Since he was their only kid they couldn’t fuck him up…..Except over-parenting can be just as detrimental as neglecting him. I’m talking about bringing him to the doctor if he scraped his knee, and he wasn’t allowed to get dirty when he played outside. In short, he wasn’t allowed to be a boy.
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I only have one child. We focus on encouraging him to both take risks, and to think about managing the risks. He’s 11 – climbs trees, plays contact sports, crashes his bike riding off stairs and such periodically, shoots a .22 rifle, can sail a small boat and catch, gut and cook a fish, and occasionally gets in a fistfight with the neighborhood criminal kids. Walks his own ass to school, cooks his own breakfast usually and when something goes wrong he generally accepts responsibility. He’s still a drip of an 11 year old boy – you have to know some of them to understand that “thought” is an evanescent thing that isn’t full time resident in their heads – but it’s been going good so far, despite school trying to turn him in his buddies into little girls and despite not having sisters & brothers to kick his ass. My goal for this year is to pay less attention to him when he plays sports, and to get drunk at the fields more often with the other dads who have a similar parenting style. Fingers crossed.
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Traditional families are disappearing – so Parenting is becoming a lost art. There’s no generational overlap – no support – or coaching. Which amps up the pressure on otherwise well meaning parents and makes them nuts. Or at least more nutty than the 200 mg of caffeine a day most have as baselines.
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I’d still rather have overbearing parents than totally neglectful parents. I’d rather have married SWPL/Jewish/Tiger parents than 1 obese, welfare-mooching ghetto single mother.
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You have got a point here, for sure. There’s a whole movement to try and get parents to let kids “play” again. Unsupervised play, like when we were kids, roaming the neighborhood, exploring the fields, riding your bike alone or with friends to the park or store, walking along the railroad tracks, playing doctor or spin the bottle (can you imagine today? “Consent forms, consent forms kids!”), or just getting outside in the afternoon even — kids today don’t get to do this because parents are so helicopter, stranger danger, hovering, you can’t go out there alone. And the result is kids aren’t getting that peer or peer time so key to normal development. The result? Spineless, whiny, pampered kids who are afraid of the world, are overweight because all they do is watch tv or play video games, no imagination, not chance to burn off energy, who don’t have any experience building confidence and skills through these kid adventures and look to authority to guide and protect them instead of taking individual responsibility, good little members of the nanny state. It’s a real loss, not good for kids, parents, or society. It’s not good for America either, because we need those free thinkers and explorers and renegades to come to keep this whole thing going, not to mention their taxes to fund our retirement plans! More kids, and let them be kids again, well said!
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[…] Source: Heartiste […]
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Helicopter parenting is a response to the anarcho tyranny that is CPS and other anti-family/community laws being passed by state legislatures (ie. in IL you technically need a license to be a babysitter). No doubt the reason for these laws are feminist war on families. Nearly every CPS employee is some lard ass that hates herself and thus is hell-bent on destroying the lives of anybody more successful than her. To that end
1) You can’t make sound medical decisions for your child without incurring the wrath of CPS
http://www.thehealthyhomeeconomist.com/cps-takes-baby-after-parents-seek-second-medical-opinion/
2) There is an ill defined leash between parent and child that you can run afoul of without any warning.
http://www.cnn.com/2015/01/20/living/feat-md-free-range-parents-under-attack/
3) The simple fact that your child is injured is enough to suspect abuse. (this happened to a coworker of my wife, who ended up spending $3,000 on an attorney after CPS came for her kid after a playground injury because it could have been inflicted by somebody in the kids home).
Meanwhile, drug addled cum buckets and their current source of tingles are allowed as many chances as it takes to kill innocent children, and if they can’t do it one of those fine foster families will get their shot or two in as well.
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If you have a large family now, and let a few slip through, you have to worry about the government taking the rest away and putting you in jail, while your wife creates more kids with the neighbor. You used to let the kids that looked the least like you to be more dangerous in their fun and games, with the sneaking suspicion that it might not actually be yours. My dad was that way with me, because from birth to adulthood, I looked nothing like him. When middle age hit, the resemblance was undeniable.
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CH posted: “One reason why helicopter parenting is on the rise may have to do with the general post-industrial trend toward smaller families (fewer children, and fewer parents in each home). If you only have one kid, you’ll be more careful about shielding your kid fr” f you
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I dated a girl in college who was one of nine (beautiful red hair, alabaster complexion with faint freckles, green eyes, prettiest pink nipples, so sweet) and had a college roommate who was one of thirteen if you’ve ever met people in that circumstance the impression that you get is of the character of people from old time movies – they’re actually very easy going and have less desire for material things – but the few things that are theirs are theirs. Very interesting, and I have always wondered if the former frugal, industrial, optimistic, humble and resilient character of Americans of old wasn’t formed in the home with large families.
Another aspect of big families – at least in big cities – was to push the older boys out into the world at a young age to make room for the younger siblings. Take a look at rowhomes in older American cities (e.g. the Northeast) and imagine eight or ten kids and two parents all at the same time. In Catholic grade school as a kid I was in a class with an aunt and her niece, and the niece was older than her aunt. Grandmom/Mom was my crossing guard.
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Don’t know if there’s a causation between the two, but I think helicopter parenting gave me a higher proclivity toward criminal behavior…
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Look at the economic environment change in this country. What built this country was men doing things without permission, without social contacts, without degrees, without much of anything. Certainly without safety nannies. But that’s a masculine world by and large and it’s largely gone away. So have most solely merit based routes to success. Outside of sports there isn’t much of the merit system left.
Where merit still works is now incredibly competitive. The other kids’ parents are doing all sorts of things for their kids so if your kid is going to have a shot… well got to do it too.
But what’s the alternative to what’s left of the merit system? Using mom and dad’s network. So what do we end up with there? kids who are like the infamous owner’s worthless nephew. Mom and/or Dad get the kid a job somewhere, get the kid in the right school, get the kid where he has to be to get a leg up.
The less merit there is and the more politics the greater the value of helicopter parenting. The more merit based it is the greater opportunity there is for a kid to actually make a life doing what he is naturally good at. Helicopter parenting has always been there, but today it’s more important than it used to be.
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word
oink
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I am willing to bet that Helicopter Parenting correlates strongly with kids that eventually suffer from emotional suppression and an inability to innovate.
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>>Helicopter Parenting correlates strongly with kids that
>>eventually suffer from emotional suppression and an
>>inability to innovate.
You have never met the real results of a strong Child Protective Services bureaucracy, have you?
A lot of “Helicopter parenting” is legal due diligence in the fact of a soulless hive-mind run bureaucracy that can take your kid.
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CH,
My comment here is in moderation…what’s up?
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Ah, the quest for absolute (but of course unattainable) safety goes on.
It has several roots, among which
1) Very small families (except in the underclass), which means that the loss of a child – realisticly – is a much bigger trauma than the loss of number 7 of 9, Even if the parents profess that they like each child just as much etc.
2) The press and the talk shows and the news – that make a big issue of individual deaths – or even misfortunes – that are bound to happen albeit
rarely in a population of 320-odd million (or about 7 billion, actually). And most people have a very degraded sense of what is risky, while crossing a street worrying about their granite sink (yes, it’s radioactive, but so are you!).
Thus kids are wrapped in cotton.
3) Endless law suites.
Now, the kids, especially in the middle class, are wrapped in cotton.
You win every safety battle. But then, the only exciting thing left to the kids and the youths in their low teens is video games. And then they get fat.
So the parents win the battles but lose the war – obesity is on the whole more dangerous than climbing trees.
Thor
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The “helicopter parent” phenomena is very much driven by the rise of tyrannical Child Protection Services departments.
These depraved institutions do not save kids from the disintegrated families in the low class white trash/minority prole or illegal immigrant families. In fact it is dangerous for CPS to get involved with such cases due to the violence of prole parents and they increasingly avoid them.
The CPS across the country have turned into organizations where middle/upper class women and very upper class male parents with political connections harass other middle class families (and divorced wives of powerful men) with Child Protection Services “SWAT-ing” type complaints, often related to divorce and intra-family child custody disputes between divorced single moms and more politically powerful relatives.
“Helicopter parenting” is less and less about women indulging themselves in overtaking the father’s role than it is a case of legal due diligence against a CPS “Swat-ing”.
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[…] One reason why helicopter parenting is on the rise may have to do with the general post-industrial trend toward smaller families (fewer children, and fewer parents in each home). […]
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