Fred Reed, honorary poolside guest, on marriage and kids:
Nobody goes into marriage expecting divorce, but it comes very frequently, and she really does get the house and the children. In divorces, men lose. […]
The sensible conclusion is that you are better off single, building a career or whatever you want in life, and dating such flowers as drift by. […]
Add five or ten years, ten or twenty pounds, and the lack of any reason to continue being charming—and you are going to spend the rest of your life with it. Too many men marry the package, and only discover the content when it is too late. […]
Live with her if you must, but don’t marry her. A woman cohabiting has at least some incentive to be agreeable. A married woman does not. […]
It is said that marriage rests on compromises, but in fact it rests on concessions, and you will make all of them. […]
Children, which she will persuade you that you want, on thought you probably don’t want. They are an ungodly burden until they reach adolescence, at which point they become ungodly monsters, before leaving for university and becoming ungodly expenses.
Marriage: The triumph of hope over reason. Maybe the Swedes have this one thing right: Don’t marry, just cohabit, if you like the monotonousogamous lifestyle of one woman, together under one roof, for years and years, as sprog nip at your heels and resignation slowly substitutes for happiness.
[…] Love And Ballast […]
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Lot’s of beta angst around marriage. The same kind of angst betas display around OLTR’s by the way… Betas hate the change in marriage laws because they never had a pimp hand and THEY needed the state to keep baby home… If you can’t control your woman, you shouldn’t be in any LTR.
Now is controlling an adult sized child a hassle? Yes. And it never ends. There is no adulthood, age of reason or responsibility reached by your bride. So if you want to avoid the fray on those grounds, fair enough. But let’s not whine when it is all up to you to begin with… that’s you Starbuck.
The main problem is that a beta is by nature defensive and lethargic. Timid. Blown into doing things they don’t want by people they don’t respect (marriage, family, law school, etc.). Life just happens to the beta. and then they look around and wonder why or worse, complain and do nothing about it. That is not going to defeat hypergamy, no matter how hard you grind your hamster wheel.
Now I believe the only reason a guy should get married is because he wants children and that is the best environment to raise them they way you want.
But the best way to enter and sustain a marriage is this – have hand and never lose hand. With that you get everything else – resolve, discipline, enforcing boundaries, punishing bad behaviors, rewarding good behaviors, taking what is yours and taking what you want. If you can do this – or live a dynamic, passionate and authentic life – you will be fine.
There will be bumps in the road, and you will still have bad days now and then, but you are in the drivers seat and YOU are driving. Stop blaming the women and their helpers…
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Yeah bro everyone who ends up divorced is a beta, where beta is whatever any single woman defines it to be at the particular time.
That’s some straight up F*GGOT talk right there bro. Real dudes haven’t got time for that shit, there is other stuff to achieve in life than merely not getting divorced or pleasing a woman,
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Yeah bro, like growing a beard or playing WoW. Men, GTOW, right down to the basement and X Box and porn. LOL.. MOM! More meatloaf!!!!
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I was married. Seemed like a thing I had to do and as soon as I was in it I wanted to get out—kind of like joining the army or going off on a mission I didn’t really believe in.
I wish I knew then what I know now, but then again I wouldn’t be where I am if i’d know it all back then.
As I now approach relationships with women through the lens of game I realize that applying these various logical constructs on an emotional interaction is as Stalin described applying communism to Poland: it was like putting a saddle on a cow…
The diversity and richness of my life NOW vs then through my knowledge of game is incredible…the highs have become higher but the lows may be lower but don’t last as long….
The Red Pill knowledge also seems to give me a confidence that is more attractive to women.
I just sent a text to a girl I was gaming online. She had pfaffed about saying she only wanted to meet up for a meal as a friend.
I sent this borrowed from Krauser and somewhat paraphrased:”Im a man and you’re a woman. I see you as a potential sexual or romantic partner not a friend. My time is too short to waste on meeting up girls who don’t share this idea.”
A few days later I got a long reply back from her thanking me for sending this and being honest and that she hoped to find this wisdom one day too.
Of course I suggested drinks with her buying the first round…and that I loved seeing a girl in hats…
Without that game knowledge I wouldn’t understand any of this and have probably gone out with her, paid for her meal and she would have had a real interesting time from a high-value guy and I would have gotten….nothing. Now if we meet up… it’s on.
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It isn’t all doom and gloom.
Most men are only in relationships because they are beta and that’s the only way they can get sex.
But I have a natural alpha friend with a happy marriage. All through school he was banging 8s and 9s, and had this girl for years as a plate who was obsessed with him, only a 6 or around there but with a great rack and very feminine. The most feminine western white woman I have ever met. This man had girls chasing him his entire life, was popular and good at sports and what not. He shocked everyone and married the plate saying he wanted to have a house full of kids. So now she is always pregnant. He is always fucking other girls and she looks the other way. No friends or extended family. No career. No cell phone. No internet. She is just at home every day taking care of his kids and cooking food for him. Whenever I go there she is smiling and happy, looks at him with love shining in her eyes in a way I’ve never seen a woman look at a man. Serving him and waiting on him like he is a king. And the man himself is mostly a fuckup, can’t keep a job, happens upon good jobs and money by chance and luck. He say the reason he got a woman to love him so much is because she doesn’t talk to any other women. Women poison each other and make each other discontent in their relationships. But other than when he is asked how he achieved such a marriage, he does not even know, and cannot explain why other than that.
He is happy being married. Sometimes we go there after being out at 2 or 3 AM in the morning and he will wake her up, she will get up out of bed with a smile on her face to cook for us. I would want to get married if I could have a marriage like that.
[CH: sounds like your friend has that gift that women love: supreme overconfidence. is his middle name ‘skittles’?]
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I wrote a long post that explains my take on this and I assume CH’s is similar, but the wordpress black whore swallowed it.
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I think thats the only love one could settle on if they choose to cash out and raise a family. Ive had that kind of admiration from a plate once, and it set the standard for me
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Your friend gets it.
I would add that the traditional marriage proposal – man down on one knee supplicating, sometimes in front of a huge crowd of strangers – is a major problem. It is not sweet or romantic. It’s pathetic. Women get very turned off when you put them up on the pedestal. The moment you declare your intention to commit is the moment the balance of power shifts to her. This is death for the tingles and in turn your life.
She should be the one proposing to you as you have the most to lose from the arrangement (outright sexual freedom as your smv increases with age) and she has the most to gain (access to your future earnings as her smv declines).
Your friend’s hb6 wife felt lucky to be with him because he clearly married down and she up. This is how it must be if a man is going to be happily married (with flings on the side).
Find the hottest feminine girl who worships you and make her feel like you’re doing her a favor marrying her and that you are willing to walk away for your other younger hotter options at any moment.
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Will – I will save this post. It gives me hope.
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It’s a good lesson to women too she got to marry the man that is likely the most popular man with women in our entire town and he loves her. Objectively she isn’t hot. But because her tits are so nice and she is so bubbly and bouncy everyone just sees her as attractive. She was a hooters girl before they got married. Another reason I think women who are kinda dumb make good wives. Because she is childish and kinda an airhead she really gets into playing with children and singing and dancing with them I dont see higher IQ moms doing that except in a half assed way. They think they have better things to do with their time.
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I married briefly and hated it, despite her being a pretty awesome woman.
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“Stalin described applying communism to Poland: it was like putting a saddle on a cow…”
Indeed! Why buy the cow when the saddle is given from each according to their abilities to each according to their needs?
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“Without that game knowledge I wouldn’t understand any of this and have probably gone out with her, paid for her meal and she would have had a real interesting time from a high-value guy and I would have gotten….nothing. Now if we meet up… it’s on.”
Da GBFM:”The first drink will be on me. The second drink–my gizz–will be on you. lzoozzlzoz”
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Well, maybe 25 days out of 28. The other three days, the little fellas need to make the big swim up the fallopian tubes to meet their sweetheart. MOAR WHYTE SPERM -> WHYTE OVA.
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This excellent blog seems to want the preservation of the white race, i.e. having children.
[CH: CH is a believer in beauty, which is truth. the white race is beautiful, has produced beautiful things, and thus deserves continuation.]
Yet if marriage is not advised in the manosphere – what does the manosphere recommend as the ideal way to have children? Parents cohabitating but not married? The manosphere encourages the natural male urge to spread the seed with young fresh poon but where do children and the preservation of race fall in? Thanks.
[if you’re gonna have children, marriage is the way to go. no one with a lick of personal integrity would ever choose to live in a single mom society over a nuclear family society.]
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Yes, women are stupid. They are large children. The Founders knew this, which is why under the proper U.S. Constitution, only propertied men can vote. In this way, women are protected from their own stupidity and civilization is protected from their solipsism, inability to care about the future or big-picture issues, and inability to use logic or avoid making all decisions based on emotion. You see, women had a vote IN THEIR BEST INTERESTS under the old system–their fathers and brothers loved them, and they voted for things that are best for society and the most amount of women, men, and children over the long term (conservative positions).
Women were given the vote and look what has happened since.
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We don’t have this option here in Brazil. If we llike together for a certain amount of time (2 years if i recall correctly) we’re automatically married warting or not.
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Roussef is a ballbusting femimarxist ykw shrew
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Apparently anyone who does anything you disagree with is automatically Jewish.
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She actually IS a Jew you fucking idiot.
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prove it.
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Well, not to get into the middle of another man’s argument, but…
She was definitely a red diaper baby (dad was a Bulgarian commie), followed that militant Marxist path in her young adulthood, and self-admittedly claimed she “could be” of Jewish descent on her grandmother’s side. Family portrait on Wiki also seems to point that way.
The next time you say “Prove it”, do your own legwork first.
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@Greg Eliot
I did do some research on this topic. I could find absolutely no evidence that proves she’s Jewish.
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Not even her own words? You don’t gainsay any of the information I’ve found with about two minutes of searching.
When they say “I MIGHT have some duck in my background” and all other signs show them looking, walking, and acting like one, well…
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Communism is nothing more than secular Judaism.
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This has nothing to do with Roussef. The law was approved in 2002,way before she was elected.
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Which is why you need the occasional, well documented breakup.
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How that would work. I’d have to live with my ltr for 23 months and 29 days then break up with her? I don’t know the details of the legislation (since i’ve never been married and never bothered to read) but i believe this is the kind of stuff that could be protested in court.
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[…] By CH […]
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You frequently lament the demographic decline and demise of the white race, yet here you support and promote the view that kids are ‘ballast’ and an ‘ungodly burden’. Your views don’t seem to reconcile.
[CH: eukaryote has always been at war with eusocial.]
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I’ve been a reader and fan for a long time but I really have a problem with what you’re doing here. You write very well and with excoriating wit about the unpalatable truths the MSM won’t touch but we all know to be true. You highlight the concrete and undeniable causes and effects between leftism (inc. socialism, equalism, feminism), its outcomes (enforced diversity, immigration white guilt, white flight, leftist control of media/education/entertainment) and the inexorable decline of whites as an ethnic group – and yet your promulgation of this MGTOW shit seems intended to have the exact same effect (discouraging readers from having children). You seem to be highly intelligent – what’s going on here? ‘Enjoy the Decline’ style fatalism, or I did I miss a memo and you’re promoting some other system over the nuclear family, for example the Jamaican model of fatherhood (inseminate and f*ck off)? You’re advocating demographic suicide?
[CH: i don’t espouse mgtow. no man should surrender the love of women before he’s even given himself a shot at it. children? how many men do you honestly think would opt for kids if they weren’t pushed into it by wives? 50%? what fred points out, and what CH has pointed out for a long time, is that there is a natural and unavoidable conflict between the individual man’s desires and the needs of society, and that to coax men to give up some of their needs for the “good of the society” requires tilting the playing field to favor the interests of men. or at bare minimum, not tilting the playing field against men’s interests.]
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You’re correct in what you say. If I may make bold to offer an explanation on behalf of CH I’d say that he’s referring to the corrupted and debased simulacrum of marriage that passes for that institution today. Not traditional marriage, as commonly understood.
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[CH: i don’t espouse mgtow] Hmm.. I’ll take your word for that. I agree on cohabitation over marriage in the societies we live in today (I’m in the UK where things probably aren’t quite as bad as the US in regard to divorce-rape). Neither do I believe monogamy is a normal or natural state, especially for men – but this post really seems to contain some anti-children rhetoric. My view is that the smart man avoids cashing his chips in too early, enjoys the fruits of his extended SMV, and then, with extensive experience of women and some life goals achieved, finally decides the time is right to create a human legacy and contribute to the longevity of his species with a wisely chosen girl (a nurturing, feminine giver). If you share this view, you left that part out. In any case, Fred’s approach certainly won’t help the state of America or the West, will it. It smacks of cutting off your nose to spite your face “I’ll not have any kids, my bloodline will die out and then you’ll be sorry!” If I want MGTOW, victimhood and fatalism I’ll go to Roosh.
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[CH: i don’t espouse mgtow]
At least not until she swallowzoozzl. Den I’m going my own wayszz!!
Heartiste is very much a realist.
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Dude, you think this shit culture is redeemable. It’s lost.
You gotta be a serious baller to have kids and stay in their lives in 2014. Not for betas and the frail/weak/twinkies.
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Ya think it isn’t that bad in the UK, then go ahead and do what you like. But don’t come here to complain later.
CH is absolutely right that the laws are pretty skewed against men these days anywhere in the west and this situ is not going to be sustainable, even with the massive ammount of pressure applied by society and politics.
Numbers from Germany indicate the following: 67% of single men do not wish to have children compared to 27% of women. This may be temporary due to current laws but it’s pretty obvious.
We’re nowhere as powerful to change the situation in favor of men and marrying and/or having children kamikaze style is just not a wise idea. That’s my individual view and IDGAF if that conflicts with society.
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I have a 140ish IQ, a graduate in economics, can tell the difference between art nouveau and art deco(this is easy, but you’d be surprised how many people can’t), read books and I did think of getting married when I was a teenager and building a career and family, but all those notions were rooted in a society that no longer exists. Some of it was also due to my romantic disposition.
During that time, I had the opportunity to make money online without doing anything useful, but I didn’t because I felt it would be a waste of my talent and potential. Now, I’m looking forward to it because this society deserves none of my talent and I think any useful thing I might do would help maintain a society I don’t identify with and that doesn’t care for me. I’m uninterested in being the cash cow of old farts on retirement benefits, of a silly broad that I’d end up marrying(believe it or not, even smart girls are stunted intellectually because women are by nature herd animals and will follow whatever fad exists; one such example is their lust for famous men: athletes are so lusted over by them because a thousand other men go gaga over said athletes, not because the women actually appreciate the athleticism, just like being cultured was valued by them a century ago because that’s what society valued).
So if you want men like me to marry, fix marriage and fix society. And by fix marriage, I don’t mean just fixing the laws, but make women marriageable. I won’t sacrifice my life and happiness for the white race, the majority of its members being noxious idiots I wouldn’t want to be around of(exclude stupid people, the obese, the ignorant, the leftists and the sanctimonious). To the smart people who are concerned about immigration, the left and so on, this white nationalism as socialism mentality isn’t interesting at all.
And culture wise, why should I bother preserving the West? It’s a socialist-feminist dystopia that can’t even produce semi-original movies. I like technological baubles as much as the other guy, but technology is amoral and it’s there to serve me. I’m not going to sacrifice my happiness so that technological progress can continue. I don’t give a fuck if it does.
I’m not going to lie and say I don’t want children because I actually think they’re fun and interesting. But if I will have children, I won’t marry their mother and it will happen when I will have simply gotten bored with dicking around.
I will put things into perspective for you: over the next five years I can either continue my education(mostly because doing research is interesting and secondly because being around college girls is fun), learn how to DJ and dance ballroom, travel around Europe and have fun with a lot of different people(including fuck different girls). Or marry and work some corporate job from 9 to 5 and come home at 6 and watch a movie with some girl I no longer feel passionate about because either I am or she is too tired to do anything else. There’s also the thing that I can cook, clean, iron etc and most women are worse at every single of these chores than I am. What exactly do they bring to the table? Boring sex, which will get boring even with blindfolds, handcuffs and ice cubes(mostly because they won’t be the ones coming up with the really neat ideas and their enthusiasm to do new things will gradually disappear no matter what you do*)?
Life is essentially meaningless from an objective standpoint and you can do whatever you want with it. The reality is that having fun for the next 20 years, raising a kid if I feel like it for the next 20 and blowing my brains out** when I’ll no longer feel useful and want to do anything is preferable to getting married now. The only way I’d get married now is if I somehow met some great girl whose parents are rich and whose fortune would allow me to build my empire and legacy outside the confines of this puke inducing society that the West is.
*you can make women regain this enthusiasm by going nuclear on them, but why bother?
**unlike everyone on retirement benefits now, I will at least do this favor to the next generations instead of making them fork hundreds of thousands of Euros in my ass so that I can live 4 months more.
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If given the opportunity to have strong, healthy, intelligent sons with a timelessly beautiful, feminine, loyal woman who remained faithful and dutiful but was completely ok with you sleeping with other women, you wouldn’t take it CH?
The goal is to make that reality the social reality, not bail out.
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there is no solution being offered, Anon, because there is no solution.
There is only crisis management.
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According to the Economist, Britain, Canada, New York and California are the worst places for a man to be divorced. Britain is the #1 divorce rape state because of it’s doctrine of including future potential earnings in the Settlement. New York state is the worst place in the US to divorce.
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Find a nurturing , f relatively feminine woman; have kids and get all the good stuff on the side; like the French do. Its called keeping a mistress (or two or three). Done right, everyone appreciates their roles and the revenue sharing is kept to a minimum. Wives are too tired for good sex, unless they want to get pregnant. Mistresses are too callous for rearing children. Go for older women on the side; married women even.
Married for 35+ years and enjoyed lots of side dishes. Have great relations with my kids and the spousal unit only hates and annoys me as much as any woman would, but as long as those paychecks roll in……..
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Everyone gives up their unmediated savage instincts “for the good of the society.” That’s what we call The Social Contract. That’s what protects everyone — yes, even the superhero cartoon alpha whose rule is by definition temporary and ends bloodily in “the war of all against all” (Hobbes). Your special pleading for men is what’s truly “MRA” or “MGTOW” about your assumption of greater sacrifice, a pity party and petition for victimhood status straight out of the enemy’s playbook, though your correspondent here couldn’t put his finger on it.
Men do not give up “their needs” so much as their most bloody-minded instincts so that the walled keep of civilization can exist apart from the State of Nature which
At the same time, civilized (or gentled) manliness requires an outlet along the lines of Mencken’s observation: “Every normal man must be tempted, at times, to spit on his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin slitting throats.”
The ease of mind provided by civilized society is underestimated by its inhabitants and tempts people like you to overestimate your worth in the State of Nature. Taunting wolves from the top of the garrison is not the basis for a theory of civilization. It is the lamest bravado.
True enough, the balance is off kilter, and the social contract quickly became a shit deal for men in the last fifty years, particularly since it is their very vocation to man the walls! But chipping at the foundations of our common defense out of a sense of personal indignation is what ni_gers do, albeit with not so grandly an intellectual rationalization.
Matt
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Matt, you explain that well. No matter what CH or many other commenters say there is an incongruence here. It’s as if you don’t WANT to pull yourselves or society out of this situation. It’s default nihilism. If you really believe the USA (for example) is irredeemably fucked, no good women can be found – then surely the intelligent man takes the only viable course of action to ensure a fulfilling life free from bitterness, a hostile environment and the thwarting of his natural desires – he expats, and finds an environment that suits him better.
Let’s just say you don’t believe European civilisation is worth saving, and deserves its decline. Like Clint Eastwood’s character in Gran Torino, you no longer feel a stake in society and so no longer contribute to it (I fully understand this, for the record, as it is how I feel about the UK). It’s a shitpit, weighted against men, not worth investing in, no place to bring up my future children.
Why then do you not take steps to improve your OWN situation and wellbeing – if not society’s – by seeking out and being part of a better society or civilisation? It’s hard to see how this ‘Enjoy the decline/Laugh as Rome burns/I’ll just take advantage of all the sluttery feminism has created’ is an approach that will give anyone true fulfilment. How can you be happy long-term n a society where you hate what’s going on around on you a daily basis? How can you, as an individual with healthy self-interest, stand to be constantly angry as you go around your daily business?
The logic seems to me to be, either take concrete action to improve your situation by expatting – or somehow try to carve out a decent life in the country you live in (earn more money, move to a better part, improve your setup). But there seems to be a sort of “I’m checking out of society, going MGTOW, never having any kids, THAT’LL show ’em” kind of flavour to all this. Does the society/civilisation in question give a shit? No. Will its economy collapse as a result of your reduced investment in it? If en masse action is taken, over time, sure, it will suffer. But in an immediate sense the only ‘victim’ is you and your own quality of life. And opting out of the reproduction game, as Matt says, does seem to be playing right into the enemy’s hands. We extinct ourselves so they may replace us quicker. As I said before, the espousing and promoting of this attitude seems to me equally harmful to white/european civilisation and its future as feminism, socialism, mass 3rd world immigration and all the rest of it. Now, granted, you might not care about the future of the white race as one or more commenters don’t. But this ‘I’ll just stay here and tantrum, bu do nothing to improve my own personal situation’ seems to me as nihilistic and futile as you can get.
I’m in agreement with Radagast also. Is living well not the best revenge? (‘fucking sluts/enjoying the decline/opting out of civilisation and parenthood’ does not, I think, count as living well – not in the long term, anyway, and in a hostile environment as I said. Short term fulfilment versus long term fulfilment).
Things in the West are not heading in a good direction. But these absolutist views and statements like ‘it’s all completely fucked’ and ‘there are no good women left, they’re all sluts and whores’ are positively childish. Nothing is so binary. As insidious and noxious as the forces of cultural Marxism are, they can never totally override human nature, or the feminine instinct.
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It’s important to note that “The Social Contract” is a rhetorical device. No group of lone savages ever held a Constitutional Convention at Stonehenge to invent this thing called government. Humans have always lived in groups–couldn’t survive otherwise–and government grew naturally and inevitably out of the soil of humanity, as with language and religion. In fact, the first known instances of government were when strongmen (alphas) bullied their ancient Mesopotamian peers into giving them a cut (taxes) of their crops in exchange for “protection” (national defense). It’s hierarchies all the way up.
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The truth is that marriage is a Japanese POW camp where your are tortured by a sadistic master 24×7. However, you can pull the inside straight of the dream marriage, but this is an incomprehensible challenge of 24x7x365 A-game. Marriage is “doable” when you approach it with all bases covered and clear protections from the sword of Damocles. Picking the right wife, tight game, protect your children. Marriage is *more* challenging than the dating market. To put in perspective, it is harder to have a dream marriage than date runway models.
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Who wants to date skinny, titless, buttless, human clothes hangers who have all the curves of a prepubescent boy?
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Yes, I’m sure you’d kick Angela Lindvall out of your bed because the frumpy average American fatty has curvzzz. I find it interesting that none of the men I know who have the opportunity to date runway models have this opinion of them.
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@pyjama I agree with marblow, who wants to fuck a 95 lb. wraith?
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Thin shaming is ugly to see. Go and have another Mcdonalds ‘Philip’
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Right… that’s what you think they look like. You clearly have never dated one! They look like sports illustrated models. They have perfect buts, long toned legs and firm perky breast. They are perfect. That is why they are models. Maybe the heroin addict looking ones get some high profile gigs, but most look like goddesses who you would be sweating and stuttering after talking to for 30 seconds.
My point is that getting those girls is easier than a “dream marriage” that men fantasize about. Marriage is very, very hard and requires 24/7 tight game and state of mind. Marriage is, as Wellington described, a near-run thing. It is a tight-wire act in today’s world and not the reading the paper and drinking coffee in a t-shirt like your dad. Marriage to a hot girl is like a perpetual high stakes date with shit tests 24/7 and in-laws terrorizing you. The presence of mind required is extraordinary and it is MUCH harder than the dating marketplace and the sex is worse. However, when well played and with luck, it is much more gratifying.
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Have you ever been married?
It’s more like a KZ, and you’re a tower guard… you can get drunk on the job occasionally, but try not to do so to the point at which you tumble from your post.
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Let me sum:
1) A “dream” marriage requires better game and mental state than dating models.
2) You have never known envy or sibling rivalry until you have dream marriage. People with houses in the ‘Bu with Ferraris in the garage will get less envy than you with your cute kids and hot wife. Daggers will be drawn.
3) Trust no one, especially family. People blame government policy for the collapse of marriage. This is incorrect. Envy from “friends” and family is the #1 problem. Envy and sadism are corollaries of a culture of narcissism.
4) Any confiscatable assets are a defacto bounty on your head for your lovely wife to leave you and go on a sadistic binge that will include jail time.
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This is the absolute truth of the matter. Being single in the west is just the most rational choice from every perspective. The opportunity costs are far lower, and the price per pussy is order of magnitudes lower. Higher pussy quality, lower investment, lower risk. It’s a no brainer.
To the guys defending marriage, you’re defending an idea. That idea does not exist in reality, outside of maybe Sharia law. Marriage today is basically indentured male servitude backed by the full force of the divorce industrial complex (cops/lawyers/judges/politicians) whose salaries are enriched by male suffering through divorce.
Give up on this notion, and understand that if you ever want that idea back, society will have to change RADICALLY. Again, the only concept of marriage that makes any sense at present is Sharia. In order for men in the west to start advocating for marriage, we’re going to need:
– Female franchise abolished
– Female witness/testimony treated as a minor
– Severe penalties for false accusations of any kind
– Complete abolishment of the legal state of marriage
Marriage can never be a legal institution in the west, because all of our laws are too fundamentally based on the individual. Once marriage as a legal institution is gone, then each individual is free to associate with whomever else as they see fit. No custody battles, no child support, no alimony, no family courts, no VAWA, nothing of the sort. Just individuals choosing to live together, and choosing to no longer live together as needed.
The state’s meddling in private institutions will be its downfall.
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Basically, this article is what we already have trampled to death re: “marriage 2.0 has made the institution a bad deal for men”
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Summary: marriage 2.0 = wealth transfer scheme. Everyone with any sense knows that by now…right?
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There’s always new readers who need to hear this stuff.
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I think in Finland if you live with a woman for 10 or more years, the relationship will be considered (in law) as marriage if you separate. So it does not really matter if you are married or not.
Fun times.
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So seperate at 9 years
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In lots of countries it’s two years.
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In Colorado, you’re in a Common Law Marriage if you live together and introduce each other as husband and wife. If you live together and do NOT regard each other as husband and wife, you are not married.
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Like feminists, anyone who takes this advice will go extinct.
Life often isn’t fair and there are risks, but the answer isn’t to advocate the elimination of your gene pool.
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I think the modern cultural dispensation will go extinct before white people do regardless. A tens of millions strong gaggle of unattached spinsters might help destabilize things nicely.
Plus white people have a healthy tradition of securing their existence against numerically superior zerg rushing foreign shits.
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how many white people does this planet need?
10% may be more than enough; we may need more of you white people to kill yourselves, or at least each other.
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T-h-w-a-c-k, I don’t presume to know how many white folks this ball of mud can use… but I think it’s be a tad lighter, and better off, with one less spook… here’s lookin’ at YOU, kid.
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“Plus white people have a healthy tradition of securing their existence against numerically superior zerg rushing foreign shits.”
No they really don’t. In fact it is whitey that outbred their enemies. Just ask the Injuns.
Not to mention, whitey was also pretty expansionist.
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What, in your worldview, makes marriage and procreation mutually dependent? Anyone explain Women’s alpha fux / beta bux mating strategy to you?
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I agree with the alpha fux / beta bux model…I have seen it but I also know alphas to take what they want – women, good jobs, money – so naturally alphas can be at the top of their field career wise so there are rich alphas out there i.e. alpha bux.
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how many white people does this planet need?
==========================================
Actually none says your sista’
==========================================================
“Ethnic Minorities Deserve Safe Spaces Without White People”
……………………………
Racialized people experience systemic discrimination on a daily basis, on many levels, and in ways that white people may never encounter. The whole point of these safe spaces is to remove that power dynamic. That’s partly what makes them spaces for healing.
==========================================================
“racialized” people lolllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllz
But I am confused know, if race is a social construct how people can be “racialized”
Then I find the explanation from the “Commission”
Quote:
“Recognizing that race is a social construct, the Commission describes people as “racialized person” or “racialized group” instead of the more outdated and inaccurate terms “racial minority”. “visible minority”, “person of colour” or “non-White”.”
So you see after all there is hope for you Racialized people says the
” Racialized Students’ Collective”
You just have to eliminate evil white raciss and correct spelling checker so the “racialized” is not underlined all the times in red oh pardon “redlized”
http://www.huffingtonpost.ca/aeman-ansari/ethnic-safe-spaces_b_6897176.html
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Vaginal fluids contain a neurotoxin – like that of the Fugu Fish – that asphyxiates certain centers of reasoning in the male brain. It bioaccumulates until the unwitting victim becomes a domestic animal life form – symptoms include: loss of self determination, shopping a Bed, Bath and Beyond and seminal congestion.
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That’s why you shouldn’t drink vaginal fluid
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The antidote is a cocktail of various vaginal fluids – much like a flu shot – it innoculates males from onset oneitis. Doctors at the ChDC recommend a recipe of HB8, 9 and 10 strains for building alphabodies.
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Studies show that married adults are happier, healthier, and wealthier than adults who are single or divorced. It’s a big risk but so is banging skanks. Just gotta be smart, find the right girl, and raise your kids right. It can be done.
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Which one of the married adults?
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The man.
Two things tend to kill old men.
Retirement.
Outliving a spouse.
The latter might be explained by age, but the former implies something about the latter.
As with all things, a spare wife or a spare job improves life substantially.
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@fins. Yes healthy, wealthy men are more likely to be married. No women are in a hurry to walk down the isle with paraplegic, schizophrenic down and outs. But who is that news to? we all know that women are looking to get hitched to healthy, wealthy men, and looking to leave them in the dust if they don’t stay that way. And yeah being divorced could cost you some money as well messing with your head. Groundbreaking.
You get and keep a good woman, if you are good. You don’t become good because you get and keep a good woman. Women go to the strong, not to the weak and make them strong.
Strong backwards logic there boyo. Think before you buy into that rubbish.
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Most of those studies just survey married people who have lasted through the attrition of 60+% divorce in this country. That’s like interviewing motorcyclists who continue to ride after 10 years, but ignoring all the paraplegics and dead bodies in the rear view mirror. Bad science = Feminist victory.
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No woman is happy to walk down the isle with a paraplegic, schizophrenic down and out. Or stay with them if they become that way. And yes a divorce can make you poorer and fuck with your head. You’re also more likely to get a divorce if you become poorer and your head becomes fucked. This isn’t ground breaking stuff, women gravitate to the strong and try to make them and sometimes do make them weak, not gravitate to the weak and try to make them strong.
A woman is here to feed on your strength, not build it for you. Where there is no strength, there is no woman.
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Not to mention that among college graduates the divorce rate is only like 10%.
Regarding “raising your kids right,” that’s a matter of insulating them from proles and NAMS.
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Bull. The 20 year divorce rate in the US for first marriages is 50% and that does not include data from states like CA, which are likely to have significant divorce rates.
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Maybe not among all university graduates, but among university graduates who married at age 25 or older, earn more than 50K a year, and both grew up in nuclear families, it might be 10%. Bonus points if both the husband and the wife are Asian.
[CH: yea but how do you get past that moonface?]
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Actually the divorce rate of first marriages is closer to 30%. 50% is more like the number for all marriages (a few people are repeat customers). For people aged 35-44 where both spouses are college graduates, the percent who ever were divorced is about 10%. I believe the overall average for 2 college couples is 25% divorce. (From Bureau of Labor Stats and the work of Charles Murray and others). So the big divorce rates are driven by those couples where at least one partner didn’t go to college.
There really are two Americas.
[CH: one big reason dual-degreed couples get divorced less frequently is because they marry later in life, when both of them, but especially the women, have fewer options on the sexual market.]
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If you are both college educated, Christians, and the woman has a low partner count (N<5) your chances of divorce are less than 5%, and a good chunk of those are the result of unforeseen trauma/disability to child.
You could probably avoid divorce completely if you find a woman that has no aspirations of being a writer.
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Bingo. heartiste is always singing the praises of 18-24 year old underclass and working class White girls, but in reality they have higher obesity rates, higher divorce rates, higher illegitimacy rates, higher crime rates, etc than their SWPL counterparts.
[CH: first, you’d better be comparing white to white, or your assertions are meaningless. second, your strawmanning is getting tiresome. i never said men had to dive into the deepest trailer trash. they only have to go to the secretary pool.]
In fact, their neighborhoods are almost as undesirable as Hispanic/Black neighborhoods.
[bullshit. i’ve lived for some time in poor white areas. it’s nothing like the nog or beaner ghettoes. for one, i never had to worry about getting my skull cracked from behind by a pack of ferals.]
If you want to get married, have kids, and stay married, find a 25 year old girl who grew up in a nuclear family, IQ 125+, bachelor’s degree (degree itself doesn’t matter, but it signifies IQ, social class, and conscientiousness), no or few previous partners, and no kids.
[you’re so full of shit it’s coming out of your goy-hating yamaka. very VERY few women have 125+ iqs. 100IQ will be plenty enough to avoid the worst behaviors and outcomes that characterize the ghetto and meth classes.]
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In my rural town of 13,000, which has about a 0.1% non-white population, a long-term drug bust culminated last week in the apprehensions of 72 individuals for heroin or cocaine dealing/possessing/whatever. 72: That means there are another 300 they didn’t get. Poverty, ignorance, and iniquity are colorblind. Scumbag whites have more in common with scumbags from other races than they do with other whites. Upstanding blacks have more in common with upstanding whites than with the majority of their brothas and sistas. That’s why the ones that make it out of the ghetto never look back.
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@ CH
125+ IQ girls are not too uncommon in the social circles of most high value guys, at least in faggy blue-state cities like my own (I live in NYC).
[CH: only 5% of women will have IQ >125. this is a small pool from which to hunt poon. and, i might add, a polluted pool. once you get over 120 IQ in women, they take on behaviors that are quite off-putting and unfeminine.]
~100 IQ girls, on the other hand, will likely have $100k in student loans from attending a shit-tier private school, and will have spent far, far more time on the carousel than their more intelligent counterparts. Ideal candidate for marriage/motherhood: non-slut (they do exist, believe it or not) from a middle-to-UMC background with an impressive educational pedigree (shows both conscientiousness and intelligence).
Also, female intelligence is extremely important when it comes to ensuring that your sons will be reasonably bright; it has an even greater impact than your own intelligence.
[i think this theory is bunk. it makes no evolutionary sense for one thing. it’s highly unlikely smart fathers don’t pass on their smart genes in a way that evolution wouldn’t favor.]
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@Renault
to be fair, any advice I give to anyone is based off the assumption that they are White, UMC, financially well off, and have an IQ of 115+. My advice also probably works well for Jews and Asians too. Obviously most men should not marry IQ 125 women, but my own father did and it turned out to be fine for him cause he’s even smarter than my mother.
I went to a prep school for intellectually gifted kids where the average IQ is 118. That school also practices streaming, so if you got into the honors stream, your classmates would average about IQ 128 or so.
[CH: for a SMRT guy, you sure say some dumb shit sometimes SC. btw, do you even mensaate?]
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There is that old saying:
“Marriage is like a besieged castle, those in want out, those out want in”
I guess fewer and fewer want in, understandably so, each time I encounter a bachelorette party or whatever the thing is called I pity the man who self inflected that horrible punishment on himself.
As for survival of the civilization this is what Fred says at the end of the post
———————————————————————————————————-Conservatives rumble about the declining white population, the need to keep up with the Chinese, and the economy’s dependence on housing starts. You might respond, “Bugger off.” It isn’t your problem. You owe nothing to a society that stacks the deck against you. Eat, drink, and be merry, for tomorrow we die
———————————————————————————————————-
Do you really owe something to the society or more accurately to “the system”
that works against you and which strength is based on your weakening if not destruction
Obvious answer is of course that you do not
The more important question is: Do you owe something to the civilization and there the answer is not so obvious.
It is in the nature of a noble and courageous being to live for something higher than himself.
Yet there is more and more of us each day who try to learn how to enjoy the smell of decay
[CH: conservatives fail to understand that to encourage men to invest in society the deck has to be stacked IN FAVOR of men. why? because men already sacrifice much when they agree to the most rudimentary concept of marriage: they sacrifice their natural sexual prerogative for variety and liberation.
unfortunately, society, in its zeal to deny basic immutable psychological differences between the sexes, has unlearned that lesson and replaced it with its bizarre feminist opposite.]
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you all sound like black guys; bitching and moaning bout how the system do you wrong…
Lol
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Big difference thwacky boy we do not ask anything from the system but to be left alone while your ilk has always hands in someone else’s pockets asking for more of free stuff
That is what you want from the system to steal from others and give it to you
be it an Oscar or a bucket of chicken wings
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Yes, we sound exactly like our hyphenated countrymen … minus the sub-literate vernacular, the default aggression, the sense of entitlement, the baseless preening, the celebration of failure, the absence of future orientation, the ignorance of history, the reliance on alleged victimhood, and the failure to connect cause with effect.
Brothas from anotha motha, yo.
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huh, bix nood?
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Fuckin A. When you’re right, you’re right.
One way we lose this war is through the complacency of catharsis. Bitching and moaning rather than sublimating frustration into a productive work. Hence the dire need for leaders to focus minds.
Protracted complaining produces The Lethargy after The False Sensation of Conquest. Like falling asleep after you masturbate.
Matt
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Swedes don’t marry? Oh you Americans and your assumptions about the world.
Fred Reed is married, by the way.
This “she takes half!” talk is only for the U.S. If the manosphere is about men as a whole, that’s rather limited. In other nations you get as much as you have brought into the marriage, with a small guaranteed minimum amount. Good news for those who want to get married and have a family. Bad news for those who need to rationalize why they couldn’t get there.
Even for the U:S., shouldn’t there be some notion about game giving a man better chances at choosing right and staying married?
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I just looked at an article citing a 54% illegitimacy rate in Sweden.
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Where are these marriage laws? Here you do get to keep what you brought into the marriage, but what was earned within it generally gets split 50-50.
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I want kids. A couple sons and a daughter. I want to die surrounded by kids and grandkids.
That’s the trade off: Die alone with the memories of many conquests from the glory days, or pass from this Earth in the company of your legacy.
I’ve thought about this long and hard and the latter trumps the former.
I saw a video of some old pornstar who banged more girls than YaReally has shitted on. It was sad because he wasn’t happy and longed for the “one that gotta way”.
He couldn’t hide the regret.
Marriage and family is a risk, and you have to step into it knowing detonation is a possibility. If the venture fails you only have yourself to blame.
[CH: if the venture fails, it might be your wife’s fault. in fact, if the divorce filing odds are accurate, it likely would be your wife’s fault.]
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My fault in that before committing to the thing I’d be aware of female nature and the misandrous bender our legal system suffers.
Proceed at your own risk and all of that.
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Mehhhh …. ultimately we all die alone and your assumptions about being surrounded by “loving” kids and grandkids is a wishful thinking fantasy.
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How many ass hairs do you split a day? And I’m fully aware nothing is guaranteed, but when I look to the future I prefer to see it in positive terms.
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thats right.
until your funeral, it will be cambodians or nigerians changing your bedpan and washing your white ass crack. your children will be nowhere to be found.
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My attny sounds like you…all romantic and shit.
I gotta remind him too that men gotta crush skulls before they can be remembered and loved by those around them. So lets do that eh?
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Since you’ve obviously never been married, how can you plausibly claim that “If the venture fails, you have only yourself to blame?”
Isn’t it more accurate for me to say that you don’t know what the hell you are talking about?
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I’m with you, Philomathean. I want children more than anything in the world. My two grandfathers draw their happiness from the immense brood of grandchildren they’ve seen come into the world, and that’s where I want to be 50 or 60 years from now. This will not fit in well on this site, but given the choice of having sex exactly three more times, but with all three leading to pregnancy and to a child that lives to adulthood, or having it hundreds more times, but never becoming a father, I know I’d take the former.
I’d even take guaranteed children if I knew I wouldn’t live to see them grow up. Just knowing I brought them into the world would be enough for me.
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You won’t have to make that choice. I wanted children all of my life too but didn’t have any until recently. It’s a wonderful experience. You’re not truly a man until you have children, you’re just someone else’s child.
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Perfect riposte.
Contrary to its own press, this quietly MGTOW-leaning site focuses more on bitching about the system rather than how to game-up men who might thereby transcend the system. The tendency to blame women gives the game away.
It’s never the wife’s fault. It’s your fault for allowing her the responsibility that creates the opportunity for her to be at fault. She is a child mind. Is it the child’s fault when she crashes the plane, or is it the fault of the dopey man who gave her the responsibility to fly it in the first place?
Matt
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Many Greek myths (“Daedalus and Icarus,” “Phaethon”) center on this question of: who is to blame? Is the disaster the fault of the adventurous child or is it the fault of the indulgent parent? Or, was it the will of the gods. There is a clear message in these myths:
1. children- listen to and respect your parents
2. parents- do not give your children everything; your own moral short-comings will be their downfall
3. everybody- never believe yourself invincible/godlike
I think you are wrong to say it is never the wife’s fault. I think it is wrong to say it is always the man’s fault. Men are not gods. Men and women are both fallible and imperfect. No relationship lasts in a satisfying way in which each person does not humble themselves before God.
Each person must carry their share of the blame. (Here is true equality. Want equal rights? Take equal blame for the fights.) It is unhealthy to take the blame for someone else’s actions. I might agree that, as the more rational partner, the man is responsible for taking charge of the relationship, but there is a limit to his ability to positively influence anyone who is determined to sin against God.
I hope you are able to respond to this. Its been a while since I had to break out the pillow. Diversity within our unanimity is our strength. For everything there is a season, and maybe right now its time for a little bit of levity. I found it highly amusing that the IRS deemed Mark earned $500 just for being married to me this year. Its a tough job, but somebody’s gotta do it! HAHAHAHAHAHA!!! #500closertofreedom
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‘A woman cohabiting has at least some incentive to be agreeable.’
Until she gets tenure.
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tell me about it. married to a feminist professor for 5 years. it sucked. she was a miserable woman to live with.
[CH: feminist. professor.
what were you thinking?]
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I wasnt..it was pre red pill.
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> “what were you thinking?” I think the interresting question is whether these gals can be led away from the Shadow of Evil Psychiatry Inc and into the Light of True Feminity. Granted, some of them are complete basket cases, but I’m betting that many of them can be gently and patiently [but firmly] coaxed out with Game and Game-Game and Meta-Game and general all-around Truth Speak.
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True…your influence can help. But it’s ultimately up to her whether she wants to be on the feminine tree or the feminist tree. I’d prefer to have a woman that already knows her true strength instead of having to invest in a broken woman who may still blow it up anyway. That’s because I’m into assets and not liabilities.
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> “I’d prefer to have a woman that already knows her true strength instead of having to invest in a broken woman who may still blow it up anyway.” Right. Nice girls from good families. But the INTERESTING question is whether we can pull some of the at-risk girls out from beneath the Shadow of Evil Psychiatry Inc. Just like we’re trying to help the at-risk Greater Betas in learning to grow a pair.
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Can we do it? Perhaps by our influence. We can lead them to the river but we can’t make them drink.
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But it’s at the point now where we have a DUTY to create an alternative culture for them to participate in. It’s time for the Dark Enlightenment to get out of theorizing mode and into proselytizing and entertaining and living mode. Life the Life. Rhapsodize the Life. Celebrate the Life. Teach your Brothers. Entice their Sisters.
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= LiVe the Life.
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Moderation check.
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There is nothing better in life than seeing your son triumph on a football field. Gays do not have children- I’ll leave it at that.
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Are you sure he’s yours?
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what color is he?
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Yay, bouncy ball! For you, this probably is the best thing in life. Yay, democracy! USA!
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Yay hating athletes!! Yay being a pussy boy!!
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Waterloo was won on the playing fields of Eton- The Duke of Wellington.
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Whatever happened to driving your enemies before you and hearing the lamentations of their vimmen?
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You won’t drive anything until you learn how to drive it. The Mongols held an enormous hunt every year in which tens of thousands of their warriors would encircle a piece of the steppes and herd the animals within the cauldron until they were massed into one place and easy to kill. This one event is where they perfected their techniques of signal, command, and control, and a hard life in the saddle that made them famous.
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Sigh… another jest fallen flat.
Nevertheless, Ah’ll be baack.
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? nah. Nothing better than finding out that your son banging the identity trapped QB’s girl cause he’s not paying attention.
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Yep stud qb’s girlfriends are always banging the sullen loner type. Put down the remote control faggot.
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you bought the frame, now you gotta pay the alimony sweet pea 🙂
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lol, do you have a wife named Peg and a job selling women’s shoes?
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No, do you yave a wife named Rachel and a son named Jonah?
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Good on ya Dan. What school does he play for?
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He has your palms
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[blockquote]There is nothing better in life than seeing your son triumph on a football field.[/blockquote]
Anybody who gets married today will be lucky to see that, instead of this…
Your honor, my husband does not read HuffPo and has no idea how pretty much any kid who plays football gets concussions. If you let this negligent man anywhere near my son, I will hold you personally responsible when he gets paralyzed by a sports injury.
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My inadequacy robbed my father of that joy. Forgive me father!, for I knew not what the fuck I was doing.
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Watching your daughter dance ballet or play in a piano recital is as good.
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For me it is on the ice in a hockey game. But of course I am Canadian and hate the states, blacksket ball and fat black football along with a Muslim president who kills a pipeline in favor of Jihadi and Venezuelan oil. Best moments of my life seeing my son score in the final game for the banner. Screw all this nihlist crap. Being married and creating a clan and legacy does not preclude a little or lot of something on the side. The only time my wife came close finding out through a few stray emails she went crazy for a month in bed.
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” Maybe the Swedes have this one thing right: Don’t marry, just cohabit”
Makes little or no difference. The man is raped (financially and by way of child access rights) in the event of a break-up.
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Speaking only for my particular situation, Reed is dead on except for the part about kids. My marriage is identical to most others – no appreciation, constant stupid shit tests even over important matters that only affect the kids, constant drama, and about the most boring sex on the planet. BUT….in my case…..I fought hard to be the master of raising my kids and after twice telling her “fuck it I’m outta here,” I have since been unopposed by her, and the results now show in my kid’s accomplishments. For a man there is no greater feeling of success than to see their kids succeed, with much of that success being due to the father’s guidance and fathering. I read the anecdotes from other married/divorced red pill fathers on here, Rollo’s and on Vox’s, and it’s so clear that feminism is THE problem. I don’t see much difference between me and those others except for one thing: I was able to raise my kids without interference. Feminism destroys everything in its path.
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I’d agree…any man or woman who has contempt or hatred of children has got some major problems in my book.
When children act out, you can understand…they don’t know any better. When adult women act out, that’s a bigger problem.
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When adult women act out, nobody’s taken a belt to her ass to teach her to act like a decent human being should.
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The fallacy is in this thinking “adult” women. women are adult sized children. All men err significantly whenever they think otherwise.
I leave this as an encouraging reminder of how to view EVERY woman you come across
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‘When adult women act out, nobody’s taken a belt to her ass to teach her to act like a decent human being should.’
Because that’s the definiton of domestic abuse. The lack of discipline for women and children has turned them into feral animals.
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I salute you, sir.
You have done a man’s work, and stood fast while encapsulating the current malaise.
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@hamster_wrestler
good job on getting ‘hand’ on raising the kids…now, get to work on the rest of it…it will make dealing with the kids even better bc she will actively support your decisions, rather than just passively accept them…(which is what it sounds like is happening…)
“My marriage is identical to most others – no appreciation, constant stupid shit tests even over important matters that only affect the kids, constant drama, and about the most boring sex on the planet.”
you can turn this around…just choke that red pill all the waaaaay down…lol…handle those shit tests and ramp up the sex life…AND if/when you do that, the rest of it should fall into place bc girls see you as a whole (alpha fux or beta bux)…not just one aspect…girls are not able to compartmentalize like men do…she might have given in on the kids, but if you are getting constantly tested in other areas, she doesn’t see you as ‘alpha’…so, you get shit tests from every corner…it’s in her dna to do that…so, ramp up your game and get some breathing space on the rest of your marriage…
good luck!
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@hamster_wrestler
got one stuck in the stack again…it was a short one, too…
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this. pro comment.
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@hamster_wrestler – can you say some more about what raising your kids involved? As in what did you do that she wouldn’t have done or that she disagreed with?
Not an immediate concern for me but I guess we all need to think about raising even potential children responsibly
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Hey Christianfags, suck on this one. Muslim judge fines manic street preacher and threatens him with prison for quoting the Bible and causing homo tears in England. Other than pondering the fantastical implausibility of an inversion (ie a Christian judge in the Middle East fining an Imam for quoting the Quran in public), one wonders where this leaves freedom of speech in Britain? I couldn’t care less for imaginary sky daddy, but it’s hard to know whether to parse this as either the first wave of Sharia law, or the latest exaggerated expression of gay tears for profit.
http://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/home-news/street-preacher-quoting-from-the-bible-fined-for-calling-homosexuality-an-abomination-10141768.html
[CH: just more race cucking on a nationwide scale. the West’s anus is gaping from overuse. the prostration will continue until complete prolapse is achieved.]
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Initially, the preacher refused to pay £250 in compensation to a gay man he offended and only relented when he was told he would face 45 days in prison if he did not pay the amount.
Barring any other details I’m not aware of, I would have gone with the 45 day prison sentence in his position.
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You’re going with option A, CH, and I largely agree. The irony here, though, is that the very homos currently crying (for profit) to Muslim judges about their hurt feelz will be the first ones defenestrated when the Caliphate is installed in Londonistan.
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To add more….
if you are harboring fantasies of wild bromance and affairs after tying the not, then forget it. Marriage is 100% all in. The problem is not just your wife, it is that her family, yours and most of society has no interest in protecting your family. Everyone will be made furious by your joy and conspire ceaselessly to mess it up. They will have an unquenchable sadistic desire to make mischief. No one will respect the sanctity of your marriage other than a few very loyal betas. Expect her sisters to go psycho and the in-laws to perpetually scheme. Narcissistic grandparents are more trouble than help. Marriage is just a very, very hard deal in today’s world.
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A big social circle is often a huge liability after a certain age. Petty jealousy, envy, and malice are always lurking just below the surface.
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If you are wealthy, pretty wife, cute kid who looks like the product of a Nazi breeding experiment, knives will be out for you. Lawful Good beta males MIGHT provide some quality correspondence, but most “friends” will try to bust a move on your wife or sabotage you.
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i like being maried under an actually equal system and made up my own rules like an adult should not so bad
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I wonder, CH, whether you have ever delved as deeply into the science of human happiness as you have evolutionary psychology. I wonder how the strategies you advocate would differ if you set a goal of maximizing personal lifetime happiness, versus maximizing the quantity and quality of sex partners.
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The experts say that happiness is 1/3 genetic, 1/3 quality of relationships, and 1/3 control over your destiny.
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The experts say all kinds of things, depending on what pays.
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“I wonder how the strategies you advocate would differ if you set a goal of maximizing personal lifetime happiness, versus maximizing the quantity and quality of sex partners.”
Aren’t they the same thing?
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Traveling Soldier that song gets me every time
the thing is that is the problem is some of us are supposed to die hero’s
we just don’t he he he
so we have to have our ideals shattered by real life that we were never supposed to see the other side of
yea the shit gets gritty and there is riding off into the sunset and everything is perfect
like if i would of died in bosniea stepping on a land mine or some shit i would of died thinking life was perfect pretty much had a woman i loved that came down to visit me on my two days off sent me lettters every day and packages of home baked goods every week
didn’t though so lived through things changing stopped fucking like rabbits and she didn’t like that thought supposed to always want the pussy the same
thought nothing would change and so did it really
but it does change you still love but it aint’s the honeymoon phase
and one day she disapears
and it still crushed my heart even though it had changed
even had the movie train scene wher the train slowly pulled away and i was holding her her hand out the window as we left on that antique russian train
to what lay beyond we did not know
but real life real life
i guess there are soul mates but can only be proven by fire and even then
shit changes otherwise we would all be doing the same thing all the time
who knows what the answer is some men gonna live their way and then most gona pay child support to a chick that hates em
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ehh i’m still gonna have my 40 kids and build an empire got time
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I’ve always thought the cohabiting without marrying thing was the right idea because it keeps both of you on your toes.
But I think now if you have kids and live with someone she can still steal them and the house if she claims you’re “common law” married. So maybe not a good idea.
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my second marriage till death though point blank so no leway
cant do any mental gymnastics around that one he he he
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Yeah, well in Australia we have “de facto” relationship laws so cohabitation can mean that one is still screwed over when the relationship does pear shaped.
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http://www.ag.gov.au/FamiliesAndMarriage/Families/Documents/Defactopropertyregimefrequentlyaskedquestions.pdf
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Children are the best thing in life… their toddlerhood and adolescence were a personal joy for me that I wouldn’t trade for another two decades of life.
Sure, often everyone goes their own way eventually… but for now, I can honestly say I wouldn’t have done anything different in that vein.
My only regret now is that I didn’t start earlier and that I don’t have even more grandchildren than I do… there’s something about the young ones that keeps us joyful in an increasingly joyless world.
And if it’s a material concern, well… whoever wants my money, f#ck it… I’ll just go out and make some more. 😉
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“there’s something about the young ones that keeps us joyful in an increasingly joyless world.”
I think a lot of that joy has to do with reconciling our own mortality. In our children and particularly grandchildren we see the extension of ourselves in the future.
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My children and what I inculcate in them is all I can leave behind. Beyond that, who cares?
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Have some children and get back to me.
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When I see my son (10) run from the basketball court to kiss his baby sister (9 months) in my arms I realize that is the moment. Life is worth all the pleasure and pain. (Son is from the ex-wife, now early 40’s, new baby is with g/f in her late 20’s, the cat fighting is amazing but that’s another story..). I always knew I was going to have kids since being a young boy, but only once I conquered my little world first (kids came in my 30’s)
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now thats a player…
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Amen. The smile my little baby daugher gives me when she sees me the first thing in the morning can never be imitated or replaced. You will kill for the sake of your children.
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its never too late Greg; if you adopt me i’ll give you some mo gran kee-uuds?
how many little “G”s you want?
i cant miss.
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Droll…
My criteria for adoption is genetic… you wouldn’t pass the physical.
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How did you deal with their teenage years? I worry about them most of all.
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We homeschooled all through K – 12 except for the youngest, who went to public school for his high school years.
I guess you could say it was a bit of luck, a solid foundation, and a decent neighborhood that contributed to fewer worries than most during those teen years…
Of course, there was constant vigilance on my part and a stay-at-home mom… but they were always decent kids and had no need nor desire to rebel.
The biggest hassle was actually cars and constant worry over them being out of the roads… luckily, all of the accidents they got in were only damaging to the vehicles, and they quickly learned the value of a dollar.
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Sounds like my plan. Thanks. I feel better about it now.
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The no #1 problem with marriage is the lack of sexual diversity and how trapped a married man feels.
Most deal with it by avoiding the problem – eating and becoming satisfied to an extent through food consumption is the most common route. Porn can also give a short term fantasy escape.
Getting access to sex away from a marriage is a very risky business. If any women find out (even if they have a history) they will judge you (even the lady you have sex with).
If you meet a lady who is also married a relationship of guilt can develop and usually the lady is not comfortable with it.
A single lady will get suspicious if you can only meet at certain times and do not show her your abode – or only want to meet at hotels.
Then we have the hooker outlet but in parts of the US, guys have been caught by LEA and can be named and shamed which can outrageously lead to losing your job not to mention being shamed into losing your marriage.
Thankfully certain countries (Germany is the best) have legalized prostitution which saves marriages – even lives.
Some straight married men (omegas I guess) go the gay route – they are not gay but just want their dicks sucked or some sort of sex and gay sex is more accessible than anything else.
So basically if you get married you are fucked. That is the miserable reality of married life. You see it all the time – married couples in restaurants not talking just eating and looking like they want to die.
If you are considering getting married you are giving up your sex life. Be warned and know what you are signing up for.
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Congrats. How many kids and Grandkids?
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Im currently deciding between marriage or staying single. Parents have chosen a traditional pretty girl, the thing I have doubts is the marriage laws. bs laws
[CH: the marriage laws are bad, no doubt, but the fact that parents have chosen the girl offers some protections against full-bore hypergamous treachery. it takes a shaming village to keep a woman in line.]
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Agreed. Don’t marry anyone whose family you are not intimately acquainted with. You are not marrying just one person, you are marrying all of them. Also, as commented above, keep your wife away from other women unless they are also very traditionally minded. If you can, keep her out of the work force.
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I also plan on arranging a marriage for my daughter. Good men are hard to find and young women seldom have the judgment necessary to pick a good man.
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Good for you! If my eight-year-old was a boy instead of a girl, we might be starting negotiations 🙂 Yesterday I woke up to find she had decorated her playroom for a surprise birthday party for her hamster even though he is only six months old. Right now, she is carrying around a towel and a tray playing waitress. (And now she is cleaning the countertops. lol)
We plan to marry her at eighteen. There might be one or two reasons for an exception, but she will most likely marry and live locally. As a teacher, I have the benefit of getting to know almost all the young men of the town. This is invaluable knowledge. My son-in-law will be carefully screened, for the dowry she will bring is considerable.
I am curious about your plan, Carlos. What is your strategy?
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In the US, cohabitation can become a common law marriage, after the fact. Common Law marriages (no public record) are fully recognized in 9 states (Colorado, Iowa, Kansas, Montana, NH, SC, TX, UT) and the DC, and somewhat recognized in others. From http://www.huffingtonpost.com/edra-j-pollin/when-does-cohabitation-be_b_1184994.html
“…Most often, common law marriage is asserted in a divorce case wherein one party is seeking alimony and a division of property which they could not otherwise obtain without the claim of a legal marriage. On occasion, common law marriage is asserted by an ex-husband who is seeking an end to his alimony payments on the basis that his ex-wife’s cohabitation is actually a common law remarriage to another man…”
“…even if you “win” in divorce court with a judicial determination that no marriage was created, you already lost by engaging in a course of conduct which allowed two attorneys to litigate this issue in the first place….”
Of course, if you want a marriage license… that costs $$. Worse than a dog license!
Cohabitation is different than Common Law marriage… it behooves the readership here to know the difference. Essentially, if you mix your assets and returns and otherwise act like a married couple, even without a declaration of being married, a judge [in a state that recognizes common law marriages] could find you as being a part of a common law marriage in the event that you “break up”.
So if your girlfriend starts acting cutesy and using your last name, using your credit card, cosigning on an abode or bank account, being a dependent on your tax return… watch out!
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My experience: Married 1st time to a miserable, unhappy, undomestic feminist. It ended. I was happy. Fucked lots of women.Remarried a 2nd time. Compared to what I see around me -she’s a great woman. Cooks all my meals, does all my laundry, does the dishes ( I might help on occasion). Puts out regularly, is fun to be around and smiles often. We genuinely enjoy each others company. She’s a rare one. That said. If we were to no longer be together – I would never under the current paradigm get involved in a State sanctioned marriage. There is no legitimate reason for any man who knows his worth to do this. Its literally playing a game of russian roulette
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“Cooks all my meals, does all my laundry, does the dishes ( I might help on occasion). Puts out regularly, is fun to be around and smiles often. We genuinely enjoy each others company. She’s a rare one.”
sad that it’s so rare. it’s seriously not that hard to keep a man happy and devoted. just be a girl with a cheery disposition, a healthy sex drive, and do the little domestic things that make a man happy. is that really too much to ask?
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[…] Source: Heartiste […]
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Does God exist?: no. What’s the point of life?: hedonism. Any questions? How did some of you guys not realize this around puberty like the rest of us.
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you will understand the point of life when you are strangled in front of a full length mirror; red faced, bug eyed and all…
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hahaha! We got a badass over here!
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Is hedonism the point of life, or is maximizing happiness the point of life, and hedonism is one theory of how to achieve that?
[CH: i’m coming around to the theory that happiness is achieved by a combination of hedonism and bouts of hormesis.]
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Marriage Hormesis: Too much of the same puss can have an adverse effect
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I can’t think of a better theory that doesn’t involve believing in something highly unlikely to actually exist, such as an afterlife (“I’ll be a hedonist for eternity as like as I’m a prude my entire life.”)–that or adhering to some lofty ideal such as altruism (karma is also made-up; sorry!) or the misguided notion that anything that happens after you’re dead (my beloved posterity–my mark on the world!) should matter to you considering you won’t be there.
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Happiness is overrated.
And we were put on this earth for more than merely driving around in BMWs and taking two vacations a year.
You Cathedral fop… you puerile pismire…
You fairy.
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“We were put on this earth”.
There’s your first mistake.
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What’s better than happiness?
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Dimestore epicureanism.
D’jever think that the pursuit of aimless pleasure as a consolation prize for meaning might, just might have something to do with the instinct to call yourself an “omega”?
Pain forges virtue. Your scaredy-cat avoidance of unpleasantness has fashioned you into a nihilist milksop. You require several punches in the face and perhaps a mallet to the balls, iffin you have any. Then let’s talk.
Matt
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“You require several punches in the face and perhaps a mallet to the balls.” Sounds virtuous.
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CH writes in a recent post: “Some people can handle radical individualism and social atomization in a sea of increasing materialist diversity. But most people can’t. Unmoored is the right word to describe it all.”
This is why childless hedonism is a non-starter for the vast majority of men. And yes, average Red Pill reader, that means you too.
My rough guess for the number of men who have the temperament and talent to sustain themselves psychologically on hedonism is about equal to the number of world-ranked tennis players — in other words, very few, and you are probably not one of them. Depression, growing weirdness, drinking, anger or alternately listlessness, and excessive time spent online self-styling as Game guru are just some of the few symptoms of the unmooring that comes with purposelessness.
And for all men it really is an either-or. Get a purpose or die in one form or another. Look in the mirror and ask yourself if you have what it takes to slay new poon for the rest of your life.
Fred Reed, going by his writing on and off for the past decade, loves his adult daughter from his first marriage and is positively giddy with affection for the other girl he made with his second and current wife. His excellent writing is his way of reckoning with his long and interesting life while buzzing on cheap Mexican wine. It’s how he relaxes.
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“Fred Reed, going by his writing on and off for the past decade, loves his adult daughter from his first marriage and is positively giddy with affection for the other girl he made with his second and current wife.”
Very interesting. Those without marriage and children take these kinds of complaints too seriously instead of seeing them as only one part of the picture. My husband may carp from time to time, but he still refers to Elle as “our daughter.”
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Agree with the above. I remember at the end of my hedonostic streak feeling very empty, sad and far from my Creator. I then met my current woman- soon to be wife- shortly thereafter. I’ve been gaming her since, but throughout have remain committed to fidelity. The inner peace that I feel has helped to strengthen my frame.
[CH: people tend to overplay this “hedonism well leave one empty” card. really? i dunno, hedonism has always left me feeling pretty darned good.]
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CH, I’m all for persons pursuing happiness in their own way, but my sense is that a) the “hedonism will leave you empty” card is used by all traditional, religious societies as a boogie man to maintain the army of drones necessary for the system’s survival, but, also, that b) some of those who grow up in this environment and then consciously reason their way out of it for a time, never free their subconscious from the heavy chains of said dogma, causing real cognitive dissonance that tears them apart and brings them back to the fold in the end. The above commenter feeling far from his capital-C Creator is case-in-point.
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NAMALT!
It is a non-starter for all men. The only variable is greater and lesser propensities to delude oneself.
Would you say Hugh Hefner turned out to be a well-adjusted fellow? He who now turns to gay porn to feel something, anything?
Those with the perverse impulse to snuff themselves out are deviant. What distinguishes the human from the animal is our consciousness of the future.
Overcoming the gnawing desire to extend oneself into the eternal future is a species of suicide. An Andreas Lubitz flight into the mountain of genetic extinction. The hilarious irony is how caught up some of them are with Darwinism at the same time!
Matt
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“What distinguishes the human from the animal is our consciousness of the future.” Exactly, bro. I use my awesome human intellect figure out 5 seconds of unprotected pleasure ain’t worth 18 years of living hell.
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Whatever you do, don’t read only the excerpt of Reed’s essay here at CH.
Go to the source and read/digest/process the whole thing.
I do not agree with his assessment of fatherhood but the rest is spot freakin’ on.
I sent the link to a bunch of dudes including my divorced buddies, my unhappily married friends, and my sons.
Remember:
“Marriage is like prison, except for all the sex.”
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“Marriage is like prison, except for all the sex.”
Well, thwack, what do you say about that?
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“Marriage is like prison, except for all the sex.”
You get plenty of sex in prison also….maybe not the type you would want..but sex nevertheless.
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They will find a way to take you to the cleaners without marrying. They manage to force men to pay for kids they didnt create.
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Go to Google News and search for “teacher + arrest + sex.” How many times a week are (mostly female) public school teachers in America charged with illegally having sex with their underage students? My guess is that it happens more commonly than college students getting raped by men. So why aren’t feminists marching into your local Board of Education meeting and demanding that something be done about the “rape epidemic” in public schools?
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nothing new under the sun, in the debauched yankeedom
as an aside, at 16 years old, no one gets “raped”, unless held down (against the will) and under direct threat of deadly force. Even then is not 100%.
Smart like motherfucking snakes, bitchez!
oink
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So much unintentional comedy here..
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She probably thought of his dick in her more than if he would have showed up there with flowers.
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I’d like to know why should men be decent or nice to her. She clearly told the guy she’s not going to fuck him, so shushing her and not giving a shit about what she likes was irrelevant. It was silly though that he kept contacting her though.
I wonder if she speaks about how men should stop rewarding women who bring no value but their pussies with marriage and the like too. I won’t bet on it though.
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he probably would have had her…until he texted her 48 hrs afterwards. chump move that exposes his cock aloofness as just an act.
she obviously a woman that can stand to be put in her place
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Check out the big saucer eyes and weird unnatural grin on Miss HPD/NPD Cluster-B nutjob. I see lots of cats in her future.
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I’m willing to bet that she already has a couple.
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A friend of mine at work told me of a divorce success sory for men. His sister was married to a Dentist or oral surgeon. The dentist planned his divorce thoroughly with legal advice, well in advance. This case is from Baltimore, Maryland too, where blue pill yankeedom begins to pollute the countryside. The wife got next to nothing and he even disinherited his daughter by this woman. She had to go back to work at 55 and put her daughter through college too. He apparently had a lot of pent up rage from feeling cheated by an obese and bitchy spouse. Her divorce lawyer said it was the most thoroughly planned and executed divorce she had ever seen. This dentist makes about $500k a year, so he was ripe for divorce rape. Divorce can still work in mens’ favor if they plan well and protect themselves. Most men get screwed in divorce because they didn’t see it coming and wifey already had been dealing with a lawyer for several weeks. Divorce is war and needs to be seen that way and prepared for that way. But the advantage usually goes to the one who plans well and files first. Women don’t need to plan as well because the state has their backs.
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Yer comment mod is killing us CH. Here’s how you fix it. Plz.
http://www.wpexplorer.com/wordpress-comment-moderation/
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Some men feel a strong desire to father children. I am one of those men. I defined myself as a father and felt meaning as a human being because of my children. But it became increasingly clear that the harpie that is their mother (my soon to be ex-wife) could not abide my role as father, nor anything that made me happy. She made it a point to disagree with me. On matters trivial and fundamental, it was almost a reflex for her to disagree with and undermine me. When it came to the children, her contrariness was pathological (but since taking the red pill I now realize she was merely fulfilling her female imperative). By the age of thirty, she had turned into her mother, truly the most vile exemplar of a contrary bitch that I have ever known. But by then it was too late and the kids were on the scene. I didn’t realize how hellbent on disagreeing with me, sometimes merely for the sake of it, she was, as if it were in her nature to be quarrelsome with me, even when the topic didn’t impact the balance of power in the relationship (I was without a shred of doubt the perfect beta husband.) When it came to decisions regarding children, the ante was pressed to the limit and even the slightest decision regarding the children prompted all out scorched earth warfare. So my children did not only not have the benefit of my paternal advice and guidance, they were witness to my humiliation as well. Rather than values such as hard work, a desire to succeed and being intellectually and physically competitive, they learned that mediocrity, excuse making and low expectations are desirable. No doubt what I asked of them required far greater effort, but as children and adolescents especially will take the course of least resistance, they accepted her values and rejected mine. And although I still see my children alternating weeks, there is a part of me that despises their values and the choices they make because they are a direct affront to everything I hold dear and are merely extensions of their mothers victory in forming the children’s character. My kids are now a constant reminder of my failure as a husband (in controlling my wife) and my failure as a father and of the futility of fighting the female imperative when the deck of cultural and economic cards are completely stacked against men. I see my genius son almost not finishing high school and I weep. I see my daughter posting hundreds of selfies on instagram whoring herself for a few likes and my blood boils. My authority and ergo my values were so convincingly trounced all for the sake of their mother’s fragile ego that my children are an embarrassment to me. They have indeed become the opposite of everything I hoped and dreamed–and yes worked–for them to become. I now deeply regret having children, not because they are inherently unworthy, but because their mother, as the vast majority of mothers do, has all the power and can fuck them up at will, just to spite the father.
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Dude – great blog – very funny and mostly true no doubt
but this diatribe against the family and marriage is off base
even alphas grow up and make decisions about what they want – even faux alphas like who read this blog
Marriage exists because it works – and it only works if both the man and woman want the same thing – each other and kids
it’s that simple
of course it means sacrifices but as Tom Hanks’s character said (ironically, in the context of this blog) in A League of Their Own re baseball – it’s great because it’s hard
from the point of view of a happy marriage with kids you love – this blog looks like bottom feeding
everyone else can, and do, please themselves – including you, no doubt
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I expatriated to Asia 9 years ago. Married a girl 15 years younger (I’m now 42, she’s 27).
We have 2 kids now, 3 months and 20 months.
I love it.
My wife is full on traditional. She takes care of the kids, I bring home the bacon. It works. If I asked her to bring me slippers and a martini when I get home she would do it. And here’s the kicker — she *likes* to do it. For you Christians out there — she happily submits to my headship. It’s profoundly satisfying.
Having kids is a TON of work and a real time crusher. But there’s nothing like it. When my little dude says “Daddy!” and runs to me when I come home it’s the best feeling in the world.
That said — for Pete’s sake marry a traditional girl.
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We can moan about how bad a deal marriage is for the man these days, but if you actually want children it is very much a prerequisite to that goal.
So the issue then becomes one of insurance – if you choose marriage then how do you protect your wealth in the event of divorce?
I have seen too many guys shaking their heads over a beer wondering what they ever did wrong, but the thing that hurts them from then on is the blow to their income and the wealth they accumulated. They are too old to ever get back to that level of wealth, and it is then they head out to Asia for the cheap housing, cheap beer and the more traditional wife that an Asian woman can be.
So, what can a man do, if he is considering marriage in his future, and he is aware of the catastrophe to his future a divorce can be responsible for? Set up a foreign corporation? Put his house in that and rent it to himself? Siphon off some of his income each month and put it in a foreign bank account?
Does anyone have any constructive input on ways a man can insure himself against divorce and make it a less catastrophic outcome financially?
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The goal of kids + marriage + game (thanx Monsieur Heartiste!)
=
pretty good living, even in the current shitty environment, even for a morbidly obese sperg.
oink
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[…] Fred Reed, honorary poolside guest, on marriage and kids: Nobody goes into marriage expecting divorce, but it comes very frequently, and she really does get the house and the children. In divorces, men lose. […]
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BRITISH PILOT WHO KILLED WIFE THEN PLANNED TO CRASH 747 SHOWS AIRLINES WEAK ON MENTAL HEALTH http://freerepublic.com/focus/f-chat/3273775/posts
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The case of a British Airways pilot who killed his estranged wife in a hammer attack then planned to crash his jumbo jet “to make a statement” shows airlines are not doing enough to monitor the mental conditions of their crews… Robert Brown, 47, hit his estranged wife Joanna at least 14 times with a claw hammer in 2010, following a bitter and costly divorce battle…
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“I didn’t want to be another husband who kills his wife and then himself and nobody cares. I thought if I got to work I could crash an aircraft, or fly to Lagos and crash it there. I wanted to make a statement.”
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what color is he?
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I guess he was all red after her blood spattered all over him. Hutus -v- Tutsis Game FTW.
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http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-3017653/Rowan-Atkinson-60-steps-casual-stroll-lunch-date-girlfriend-Louise-Ford-32-London.html
Mr Bean is on right track. Nice bod.
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I always wonder how a young girl can sleep with a wrinkly old guy. It can’t be that appealing so how do they get through it repeatedly?
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A woman’s primary sex organ is between her ears. And whatever she feels is the truth, thanks to a large furry critter… IOWs – cats are not dogs.
If her hamster tells her THIS guy is the hottest, sexiest guy in the world, her loins will follow…
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That’s why God created light switches.
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to be fair, Rowan Atkinson has always been a physically unattractive man. Lots of 60 year olds that are a lot more attractive than him.
The world is full of average and ugly looking people. You might as well ask, how do women sleep with those 80% of men who aren’t good looking at all,(regardless of age)?
The answer is they don’t, unless they have something else going for them, like they are rich, have some serious game etc or it’s carrot on a stick beta entrapment sex, once a year married beta grudge sex etc
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Just wanted to point out that that chinese cunt ellen pao is still going around claiming she didn’t get what she wanted because she is a woman. The facts used to disprove her claims in court are apparently irrelevant to the truth of the matter which is that she is clearly a woman, and KP is full of men, so something awful happened there. My take on it: prestige obsessed chinese woman wants most prestigious position at most prestigious firm and can’t get it because she was a mediocre to poor venture capitalist, resorts to dirty tactics in order to make excuses because it was easier than accepting reality.
http://recode.net/2015/03/30/after-pao-now-what/
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Despite losing the case the usual suspects are crowing as to how this is a victory for women everywhere and that it is a “wake-up call” to high tech industries that the good old boy’s culture will no longer be tolerated.
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Martin, this put a lot into perspective
http://fortune.com/2015/03/30/ellen-pao-kleiner-perkins-2/
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i hadn’t seen that, and i am just so utterly sick of people talking about diversity but this really lends credence to the idea that ellen pao is just an opportunist cunt. now we will be hearing about how vc firms are on the run because of their sexist ways. seems like her husband is an opportunist too. but the whole reason she even went in to that firm was for prestige, the article asked itself why she would choose that path. the reason is that chinese people care far more about prestige than westerners. and then it turns out she just wasnt talented enough and uses that sore old trope that she is actually just as good if not better than her partners but didn’t take the same opportunities because all of the others, ie americans, ie white people, are just self-promoters. no, the whole reason she chased her ivy league degrees and then went after a vc job, and then went for the top positions were because her culture just places huge emphasis on looting western things. but she couldn’t make it so resorted to this dirty trick to keep on looting.
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annnnndddd. We are back to Force 10 moderation….
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There’s a wordpress setting that allows commenters that have been previously approved to make comments without ever having them end up in mod. I left CH a comment telling him how to turn it on… and it ended up in mod. *facepalm*
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@Lumpy – what causes the “lost” posts, where you don’t get any indication it went into mod, the post just cycles and you return to the top of the page?
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As far as I understand it, there are two checkpoints comments go through. First is a spam processing pipeline. Popular blogs can get hundreds of spam comments per hour, so I’d guess there’s some backlog before comments end up in CH’s mod queue. That’s when you don’t see the comment at all. Second checkpoint is the CH mod queue, and the comment will show up with the “Your comment is in moderation” message. When CH says yes, it shows up to everyone.
I’m not sure what shunts it into those checkpoints—there’s probably a bunch of factors tossed into some machine learning algorithm just like gmail’s spam detector. External links and being really long are two reasons comments end up in either queue.
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I have several long posts from yesterday and today (on the LSMV thread and this one) sitting in mod now.
I just routinely check threads going back about a week now because of this. A big load came through
[CH: that’s what she said!]
moderation a couple days ago but now we’re back to it..
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Lol@CH. Clearly you’ve seen the longer comment (in mod) that I just made to this post..
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You’re overthinking it. This site puts stringent controls on keywords for censorship purposes.
An undesirable commenter’s ID or a verboten phrase often matches up, letter-by-letter, with everyday speech. The result is random spiking of posts in an effort to weed out a comparative few.
[CH: that’s not it. it’s mostly just a few broken record trolls and spammers who switch ips all the time. catching them picks up a lot of others in the dragnet. nature of the business.
speaking of annoying sockpuppets…. u want to be next? pick a handle/ip and stick with it.]
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lets try: women are smart.
oops, theory seems…..thin.
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Yes, Matt King’s repeated sockpuppeting needs to be called out…of course, simply banning this Jesuit freak would be a much better option.
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Ha. That’s basically what I just said.
I’d be happy to stick with a handle, in fact I did for a couple of years, but you just banned it.
No hard feelings, cool guy. It’s no insult to be more than an aging blogger can handle without recourse to the Scalzian “ban hammer.”
But in your kíkey impulse to control speech through a list of forbidden phrases/thoughts/persons, you’ve ruined the free flow of the commentary, even among your most ardent fanboys. You used to easily get twice as many people participating per post.
matt
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http://www.singularity2050.com/2010/01/the-misandry-bubble.html
http://www.wetv.com/bridezillas/videos/bridezillas-cruel-to-be-kind-first-look
lzolzozlozlozlzozlozlzozlozlzololz
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Men, this is the situation. It’s not funny. The female person in this video is allowed to vote, and her vote counts as much as yours does:
There is a reason why this was not the case under the original U.S. Constitution. The Founders had it right, obviously.
Fast forward to today: one can graduate from law school, which includes taking a Constitutional Law class, and never even be taught about the words of the Constitution. Now law students are taught only post-1960 “Warren Court” Jewish rulings in which the Jews imposed their anti-civilizational views on the country and the “law.” “Substantive due process” means women have a right to kill your baby–you have no say in the matter. Forced integration, etc.
If a man even suggests that perhaps women should not be allowed to vote–even though simply looking all around us proves that female suffrage has been a disaster for society–to a white women, even an intelligent, “educated” one, the man will be seen as a crazy “radical” misogynist evil asshole. Even though the view he is suggesting was seen as obviously correct just a few years ago. Even though hundreds of pages have been written by women anti-suffragists explaining why that view is correct.
The hamster and solipsism really is AMAZINGLY strong, and it explains it all. Look at all of the problems in this world today in 2015. All of us here can see it, easily, even if we might disagree on particulars of potential solutions. Turning on CNN and other MSM is a disgusting joke.
Yet you will not find one woman who would admit that *women* and their liberation have royally fucked up a civilization that was working. CH has explained this concept and it applies everywhere from one on one (you and your woman) to societywide macro big picture issues: women simply are not capable of ever admitting that they did anything wrong.
They literally cannot even perceive it. They believe themselves when they blame it all on “the man” or “men.”
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I thought the chateau might like this one, this case has rocked the whole of Ireland and guess what they are posting him their panties and turning up for the court proceedings. That’ll be all.
http://www.independent.ie/irish-news/courts/graham-dwyer-trial/dwyer-got-amorous-letters-and-lingerie-in-jail-31104110.html
http://www.thejournal.ie/graham-dwyer-unhealthy-relationship-2015578-Mar2015/
A million wept in unison
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@YaReally, Sentient, HABD, walawala, Kant, Lumpy and others
Blitz Week over and time to go back into my work cocoon.
Report: 4 first dates (all from online). Plus a couple of wasted days cos of flakes which annoy me. ALL 4 came right back to my place after 1 drink. 1 bang (the virgin), 1 handjob (I think I’ll count it as a notch for notch purposes), and two lost to logistical reasons (one was the strict father girl who was late, the other literally got a call from her boss as we walked into my apartment saying that the girl covering for her (waitress) had called in sick so she had to come in that very minute). Also had a couple of good nights out at the nightclubs with a wing – one night with terrible state and another night having a lot of fun.
Next time I have some work downtime I am going to focus back on nightclub game and approaching which has atrophied a lot while I have been focussing on escalation skills and sexualizing. I still have to work on those too, but for now I need to go back to opening/club game. Plus those girls will be hotter and should flake less after meeting me in person (even if I get fewer numbers they should be more solid).
Have learnt a lot during Blitz Week.
The focus on (a) logistics/being near my place and (b) laser eyes+slow speech+amping the sexual talk (and reducing the makeouts and taking the younger girls to cheap pubs) all had a measurable effect. Still need work on (b) but the results are great. Not much to say about the method – standard bar, same stories, similar kino (calibrated to girl/seating) and the questions game (the handjob woman didn’t even need the questions game to get talking sexual).
Took Kant’s advice and stopped focussing on makeouts or even major kino. The waitress girl actually sat quite far from me because we could only get chairs – I couldn’t do more than hold her hands..it was all the talk and EC. And still no problems in coming back to mine. She wasn’t turned on – I could tell – but she did feel comfortable enough to tell me during the questions game that she liked to be choked in bed..and she was really into kissing me when we had a bit of privacy on the street walking to mine. Interesting doing escalation/rapport building purely verbally. Although I didn’t escalate with the neck kissing, or even verbally it wasn’t as raw and sexual as with the next woman (see below) or even the virgin.
The last woman (not girl really) – the handjob woman – was interesting. All these girls are from sugar daddy websites but I tend to screen out the gold diggers. This one kept asking about money and I kept ignoring it – I even told her no cash was forthcoming. She still agreed to meet me but still kept mentioning money and I kept ignoring it on text (she didn’t mention money even once in person). I only ended up meeting her cos I had a flake and she was willing to meet. We got along fairly well although she talked a lot..I could tell she liked me, but she was still locked into hardcore beta provider hunting mode (unlike most sugar babes who prefer to maintain a veneer of respectability she actually said she was looking for “pay for play” in her first message online). But she liked me enough to come to my place. And she was very open about talking about how she’d been to swingers clubs and was bisexual etc. And we made out a fair bit in the bar (I only went in for a light kiss but she went for a heavy makeout – I still kept pulling away first)
At my place, she asked for the lights to be turned down (so the living room wasn’t visible from the street) and I knew it was on. We got pretty hot and heavy and I got her top off and then she wouldn’t let me go any further but I could do anything I wanted up to then. I didn’t actually push it because I could tell this wasn’t LMR – she was pretty obviously trying to give me a sample of the goods in the hope that I would want to pay for it – she had already invested her time so had nothing to lose (she was literally asking me if I wanted to see her again during the handjob). Eventually I managed to get her to give me a handjob and then she went home (after asking several times if she was going to see me again).
It was an interesting experience. Although I meet a lot of girls with sugar daddy game the girls I’ve banged have been “genuine” in the sense that I’ve disqualified the gold diggers. When they banged me they were totally into it – I can tell – and I’ve never paid anyone of course. This one..I’m not so sure. I don’t trust my instincts fully here..but my guess is that she enjoyed it up to a point but was still fully in provider-beta-hunting mode and very consciously gave me a sample of the goods and was in enough control to not go all the way, even if she’d have enjoyed it. This is basically a variant of shoring and when I’ve read about sugar daddy game, the way most guys do it is to basically convince the girls to give them a free sample (right up to the bang) and then blow them off gently. This is basically what happened with me although I didn’t go for the full-bang. As someone said – pussy is a renewable resource, so once she’s invested enough in you to *meet* you, she loses nothing by giving you a sample in the hope you’ll come back for more (particularly if she’s not one of the turbohotties on the site).
I didn’t particularly enjoy it though. I mean, it was fun and beat sitting alone reading CH comments and writing posts that get trapped in mod (lol), but a big part of the rush for me is the girl enjoying it. Even though I didn’t pay her, this wasn’t as much fun.
PS – I was careful to do aftercare. Sent her some texts while she was on her way home and keen to see me again and fished for compliments about her evening (which I wouldn’t normally do), and got back some stuff that virtually makes me FRA proof (stuff like “I really enjoyed the evening” and “I like you x”). I am going to try and let her down gently still – I don’t want to go the round of an FRA because she realizes I won’t pay her (so schedule a date, flake saying work, mess around a bit and then tell her I am in a relationship – something like that).
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All sounds good. Props on the progress. Normally I’d tell you to get off the sugar daddy sites but if you aren’t actually paying and the girls know they aren’t getting a payday out of it down the road etc. it’s not much different from trying to bang a stripper or hooker for free tho I would be concerned that if a girl is enjoying banging you but also expecting a payday down the road she might unleash some crazy on you when it’s been a few months and you haven’t spent a dime on her and try to extort/blackmail/false-accuse you to get your money, so keep being careful.
Just don’t ACTUALLY pay to play. If she wants money she can get an actual sugar daddy who funds her buying sexy outfits to wear over to your place lol
In fact I use that in my rapport with girls, I’ll tell her I’m not the boyfriend type and I’ll mention girls I’ve banged who have boyfriends or orbiters buying them things and how I think it’s funny and those guys are suckers but I’m glad they’re there because it saves me money etc. and mention that if a girl is looking for a real boyfriend she finds one and just uses me for sex on the side.
So in the end I’ve set up a frame where I’m the Alpha Fucks guy they use for sex not for money, and that I’m cool with them finding another dude they can use for Beta Bucks. Usually they’ll give that guy as little sex as they can get away with (and sadly it can often be NO sex at all and the guy will still hand money over in hopes of winning her over someday, poor guys) because I’m a better fuck and it’s win/win for everyone…except that dude.
Sometimes they’ll actually date a dude and vanish for a while but it’s rare that they don’t come back fully single or still in an LTR but looking for better sex secretly on the side within a couple months when the honeymoon phase wears off.
I would slow fade from that handjob chick like you’re planning to, she sounds like she could be a hassle if she decides you’ve wronged her. I can think of ways to get the free lay out of her but it would be a long slow process of setting frames and disqualifying and shit and just isn’t worth the effort unless she’s insanely smokin hot and totally blew your mind. Better to just toss her back in the sea like you’re planning.
Also I’ve never been with a hooker/p4p but how you described it is how I assume it feels and is a big part of why I don’t do it. I’m sure there are guys who don’t care if she’s into it or faking it or hounding you for money mid-handjob etc…like Pleasure of Sex guys who get laid but don’t care where sex comes from as long as they get laid so paid/fake is as good as seduction and ultimately less hassle to them (VS Thrill of the Hunt guys like myself who get off on the whole seduction process itself, neither category is better than the other it’s just the type of guy a dude is), or super chodes who’ve never been laid and don’t know how to read social cues and can convince themselves the girls are actually into them (witness all the beta “whales” in the stripclubs dropping cash every week convinced that Destiny loves them).
But that ain’t my thing, I like when the girl is into it and into me in general. Ahhh delicious validation…lol
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@YaReally – thank you. I’m not interested in banging handjob woman really. Not that hot and not that much fun. Rather do the virgin who is (literally) horny for me and has expressed a desire to investigate anal sex and maintain her virginity.
So will do the slow-fade.
I take your point on the online stuff. I do it mostly because of work/travel commitments I can’t really go out at all for months and then I do blitzes of a few weeks when I can, so online is the only game I can practice when in work-mode and I pipeline girls. But then as a non-white guy online, my results are shit online for all the reasons you’ve explained before.
So instead of traditional sites (I do a bit of that too), I do the sugar daddy sites where the ratio is in favour of males and the girls are hotter. The downside there is weeding out the gold diggers, but I have a very aggressive profile which filters out most of them and the last 20% get dropped when they start talking about money (leaving the girls who want a successful guy or an older man to show them a more sophisticated lifestyle – I’m fine with that – if I like hanging with them AFTER I bang them, I don’t mind doing activities with her).
But yeah, I’m focussing back on normal cold approaching from this summer after a long break of focussing on online stuff. My escalation and sex skills have improved a lot, but approach skills have become terrible, so you can expect a lot of FRs from me in a couple of months lol. All saying “I never got into state and approached” or “I approached and had a shitty nonsexual chat” or “Never isolated/friends dragged her away” and stuff like that.
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Culum
Reply in mod (because where else would useful posts go except straight to mod to never be seen by anyone lol)
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thx for approving, CH! ❤ ❤
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good lord, marriage is not hard
if you are a man who wants to raise a family the right way, or is just looking for a mate then
select a woman with:
thin arms
treats waitresses with kindness
sense of humor
19-22 with partner count 3 max
married parents
at least 2 points above you in attractiveness
close- knit family
minimal to non-drinker, non-smoker, no drugs, demonstrates the ability to delay gratification
little to no social media
at least of five years younger than you
first date should be something with maximal adrenaline.
when sex comes, the first time provide and thorough and comprehensive rogering with dominance
keep “obey” in your vows
settle in area either close to family or where the culture is supportive of marriage in this country or another. find a conservative church, christian, muslim, jewish, mormon, doesn’t matter, join it
Be the leader of your family, you don’t have to game just be the boss.
Push-pull is all the game you really need
These woman are out there, they are just not in bars nor do they use tinder, keep your eyes open.
You all are making this too hard
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This is intentional irony, right? your saying, “Marriage isn’t hard; just follow this 47-point checklist I made”?
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Cohabitation is the spirit of marriage. Celebrities and homosexuals ruined the concept of legal marriage. Who needs a government controlling your personal life anyway? All your kids need is a father.
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