A reader needs game advice, stat. Time is of the essence, so think hard and think fast, like you would have to do if you were in the reader’s shoes right now.
At the coffee shop there’s a cute girl in line waiting for her drink. She’s wearing daisy dukes with red tights underneath; she has a yoga mat and a big black purse that would comfortably fit a bowling ball. Her back is turned but we’re standing close; she does two very subtle periphery glances – a short one and a longer one lasting about 5 seconds – I am unapologetically checking her out and she knows it. If there was any doubt, she sets her bag down on the floor in front of the bar and bends over in front of me. Then she sits down just to the left of the bar with her back still turned – there’s a chair to her right, but it has a sumi ink station and won’t be a good work space for my computer.
How do I open-to-close a girl in a coffee shop with her back turned that is deliberately trying to create sexual tension? If I clown I can open her, but I’ll kill the vibe. How do I keep the energy up without saying something so offensive that I get kicked out?
“sumi ink station”? fuck this fey earth.
Don’t worry about getting kicked out. If you worry about that, you’ve already failed. Worrying about bad consequences with tiny odds of occurring will stunt your inner game.
Forget any sexual stuff. This is, I assume, day game, in a coffee shop. If you immediately go sexual after she nonverbally flirted with you, she’ll perceive you as a desperate horndog, eager to chomp on her cockteaser beta bait.
You could implicitly call her out for glancing around, and then gently chastise her form. (This is a flip-the-mating-script category of opener.)
“It’s fun to check out the goods in a coffee shop. But the trick is to do it with some subtlety.”
This line of attack would require sitting near her, which would mean sitting at the sumi ink station (again, wtf). It would also encourage further conversation.
If sitting near her isn’t an option, then on your way walking past her, say,
“If you need some more time to check me out, I’ll be sitting over there.”
Likewise, this line is about assuming the sale and putting yourself in the “chasee” role. Chicknip.
Another option: Leverage your surroundings. Dawdle for a bit around the sumi ink chair as if you’re deciding to sit or not, and say,
“If I sit here I won’t get any work done. I’ll be distracted by… the ink.”
Anyhow, that’s all I got atm. Commenters, fire away.