In yesterday’s “A Test of Your Game” post, many commenters offered suggestions to the reader who asked how to open a girl in a coffee shop who had already expressed her interest with lingering glances and thrust butt in his pointed vicinity.
My favorite and personal go-to is, “Take a picture, it’ll last longer”, spoken with humorous intent. Commenter Claude Martel had a similar opener, “You know… it’s rude to stare.” Commenter Ludwig’s suggestion was also good (but you’d better be able to handle the heat you’re gonna get): Next time just draw a big cock n’ balls on the sumi ink station. (Claude adds: If you made a production of it, and really sold it, chin scratching, slow and deliberate strokes, I bet she’d laugh her ass off.)
These are clever and marginally jerkboy-ish openers that work well on pretty girls used to hearing the same old from dull suitors.
But, as YaReally noted, the reader in this scenario already has attraction. The girl gave him the standard-issue nonverbal female approach invitation.
“And yet, all PUAs recommend building attraction before building rapport and you’d do the opposite”
He’s already in A2. A3 would be him opening her (however he does it), so he can just go right into C1 (normal conversation shit like PermanentGuest described).
A1 = showing value. If she’s checkin’ him out and sending him obvious Approach Invites like that then he’s shown enough value for her to move things into A2.
A2 = female to male interest. She’s showing interest in him with all her flirty shit and eye-contact etc. she’s doing. So before he says anything he’s already achieved this. This makes it a Warm Approach with an AI, not a real Cold Approach. A2 is where a lot of Naturals start, it’s why a lot of Naturals 1) won’t cold approach for real, they often wait till they get a hard AI like this scenario before they’ll approach so they have a green light VS legit cold approach where the girl hasn’t shown any interest in advance, and 2) have pretty “boring” game where they just “make conversation…bro just ask her questions and listen to what she says and stuff”…they can do that because they’re starting from A2.
A3 = male to female interest (note that you wait till you’ve hooked her and she’s shown interest before you reward her with showing interest first…female to male interest comes FIRST). This is where the OP is starting out. Literally ANYTHING he does that pro-actively opens her is achieving A3, whether it’s a clever witty line, a “hi, my name is YaReally”, throwing a pen at her, doesn’t matter.
C1 = basic conversation about yoga or whatever. This CAN be more fun and witty and exciting conversation, but it doesn’t HAVE to be. Long as it pushes things in a sexual direction and towards the lay.
If a guy is getting THIS warm an approach and NOT approaching the girl, I would question if he’s actually into dudes. This scenario is like swinging at a T-Ball.
YaReally as usual nails the fundamentals. Given blatant flirting the girl has shown, the reader could just say “hi”, with cool, self-controlled body language, and be off to the races.
However, there’s something to be said for adding a dash of wit, if you come preinstalled with the brain shaker. I’ve been hearing a growing chorus of game-haters/trolls/self-regarding stoics litter the comments section with “try-hard” taunts.
Mucho gracias, senoritas, but since when did proactive courtship become synonymous with “try-hard”? Men, as the bustamove sex, have to “try hard” to get women. Do these anti-“try-hard”ers stand inert, like mute statutes, waiting for girls to alight on them like pigeons? Or are they huge pussies who need the crutch of mommy or their social circles to set them up on dates?
“Try-hard” is not an excuse for inaction. Let me refresh the haters’ memories: The original use of the term “try-hard” was to describe game that appeared too obvious to the recipient of the game. A guy who begs a girl for her number despite her increasingly adamant refusal is “try-hard”. A guy who makes what he thinks is a funny joke, crashes and burns, and then earnestly attempts an even worse joke is “try-hard”. A guy who says “m’lady” non-ironically is “try-hard”. “Try-hard” means “unsmooth”, not “OMG he’s spending precious ampules of manly pride and dignity by walking up and talking to her!! A real man has girls go to him!”
Which is to say, there’s nothing wrong and everything right with clever openers if you have the chops for them.
Cleverness is a fitness trait of men that women find attractive. Yes, if you’re in A3, you could pick up the girl with a simple “hi”, and follow from there the C1-C3 game strategy. But maybe your brain whirrs with too much energy for such plebian openers. You like flashing your cortical curves. So you open with something a little more complex than “hi”. You won’t kill the interaction. In fact, you’ll have improved your odds of closing the deal, as long as anything you say isn’t tainted by needy body language.
Pickup is supposed to be fun, for her and for you. Those witty openers are as fun for you as for her, if you’re good at them, and she’ll “pick up” on the fun you’re feeling, and be infected by it. A fun feedback loop ensues.
I sometimes think cleverness works on girls because their instinct is to judge men by how well they balance BUSTAMOVE with sexual indifference. It’s a balancing act that can take years to master. The clever opener is certainly signaling romantic intent, but if the clever opener is paired with aloof body language — BOOM goes the Bartholin’s reservoir. Don’t lean in, speak low and slowly, stand contrapposto, make strong eye contact, and flaunt your wit proudly. She’ll know you can still take her or leave her, but she’ll also know you’re the first man to say something interesting to her all month long.