Its provenance uncertain, an anonymous sage explains the Fishing Theory of Game:
It’s like fishing. You don’t just jerk your line out of the water as soon as you can. That’s how you get a broken line and lose an expensive lure. You jerk her in slowly letting the fish tire herself out. Once she’s sufficiently submissive then it’s time for the net. After that if you feel like catching another one then just cast your reel again.
You never let a girl control the line. That’s how you lose fish.
Mystery’s “cat string theory” describes a similar phenomenon of female psychology. A cat won’t lunge for the string if it’s just sitting there in front of her, but if the string [your penis and any proxies for your penis, like your brain or personality] is moving away or zig-zagging, she’ll pounce.
The shared idea behind all these pithy game theories is that women want a man who seems like he gets so much mad pussy that he can take or leave any one particular pussy. This is the man who “flips the script” and has women chasing him. Women love the man of plenty. Women are repulsed by the man of need.
I don’t make the biomechanic rules, folks, I just deliver the news, because a well-informed citizenry is an accountable sexual market.
[…] The Fishing Theory Of Game […]
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Except you keep the small ones and throw the big ones back in.
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Droll
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+1
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so in the “alpha fux, beta bux” report of the week, here’s the latest- got a chick who has a really nice BF. So I only knew her via txt and I am aloof and all that shit. She confesses she’s excited but at the same time feels bad for her bf who treats her and her girls so well while I will only be around for some fun.
Nevertheless, I said hey should I come over last night (Monday) and she agreed. I drove to her house and no time whatsoever was wasted, I barely got my shoes off.
Poor guy…destined to pay for stuff. She says, “but I don’t feel the chemistry i feel with u…”
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“but I don’t feel the chemistry i feel with u…”
If you’re good you get one version of this at some point in your life. I once met with a girl after I dumped her and I asked her how her how things are going with her new boyfriend. She says “he’s nice, but he’s not fun like you.”
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Related, from a dude. An acquaintance back in my twenties asks me, exasperated “PA, how is it that you’re such an asshole, and yet the girls like you.”
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On “Better Call Saul” last night, Jimmy and Marco picked up two chicks, and took them home for the night, by pretending to be [respectively] Kevin Costner and Costner’s manager. Afterwards, Marco told Jimmy that it [all the partying and the con-games and the poontang] had been the best week of his life.
[CH: he died more alive than when he was living.]
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> “[CH: he died more alive than when he was living.]” Yep. There are definitely some Dark Enlightenment Double-Plus-Ungood Thinkers writing for that series. It’s really growing on me. The saga of Marco was a Red Pill work of art. A masterpiece.
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I use roofies like a dynamite fisherman. Once the whole sorority is stunned I just carry the best one home.
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Wait, now it’s Alpha to be an actual rapist? Like, rape-rape?
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I have a fishing corollary – hard mouth vs. soft mouth.
Some fish have a “hard mouth.” Once the hook is set, you just reel them in as hard as your rig can stand. Some women are like that – once you plant the idea that you’re going to bonk them and they buy in, it becomes a matter of logistics.
Some fish have a “soft mouth,” Once you set the hook, you can reel them in but too hard a pull, and the hook slips out and they are lost.
MILFs tend to have hard mouths. Once the appeal is there, it’s a matter of finding a room.
Young girls tend to have soft mouths. You have to be gentle in tugging them into your clutches.
Soft mouth women tend to have the more succulent flesh but it can be more difficult to catch your fill.
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Couldnt agree more. Ive turned into a trotline kind of guy. Put out a bunch of bait, and get a cooler full of babes.
“Follow me, and I will make you fishers of women”
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Great metaphor! Agreed on MILFs, hard-mouths. I find it strange that you and BigAll (2 of 2) say young girls have soft mouths. I think it is the opposite, and the age of consent laws indicate as much. I think if you move away from old school chattiness (a la Mystery) to new school animal magnetism (maybe just my theory, don’t know), you will see that experienced single women 25+ are soft mouthed, have hoops, a type, a checklist, a narrative that must be followed, and less frequently as they fail and fail and fail at ltr.
I have an easier time with younger in terms of natural law, i.e. getting attraction (the hook point). They have more casual bonding left. For most of the very young guys, you just won’t have a knowing manly vibe for lack of living experience and cougars could make it seem like the reverse. If you have ever worked on vibe in public, you know the younger females respond better than older, even females to young (really inexperienced) to know what sexual excitement is. As said, biomechanics is gawd.
As women increasingly take advantage of being liberated (in generational direction of youth), comfort will be soft because it is traditional culture without enforcement. Women are animals that can act that way. Look like wild alpha not cultural alpha. Stimulate the lizard brain.
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young girls jump in the boat when they get close…no pullin teeth
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“Women are repulsed by the man of need.”
So in a case where a man is being introduced to women by friends/acquaintances, does this work against him, since it could come across as him being needy?
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[…] The Fishing Theory Of Game […]
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That’s another use for the comparison with fishing, then. The one you normally hear is to encourage men to try over and over again, and learn that most of the time you will come up empty. Just like when you are throwing out a line. This is also what is taught in sales, with which game has so much in common. Also reminds me of job hunting or looking for an apartment.
Women love the man of plenty. Women are repulsed by the man of need.
I don’t make the biomechanic rules, folks,
Indeed, and don’t women prefer it if men learn to not act needy, not call too often, etc? Making those common mistakes doesn’t necessarily mean that a man is lower quality – it just means that he expects increased input to increase output, the way he is used to in other walks of life, like studies or work. Or chopping wood or whatever. Many have to learn the hard way that it doesn’t work that way in dating. Better that they learn it sooner rather than later, isn’t it?
And think of working out, being active and healthy, not turning dates into interviews, not dressing like a slob, being in control of your emotions, not being bitter, not beating a dead horse, various pointers about behavior that men may need to varying degrees. There are, in fact, a lot of PUA/game concepts that benefit the women just like they benefit the men that learn them.
Yet journalists constantly return to the image of manospherians as cads acting toward women like the worst of niggas. I expect that 95 percent of those who visit PUA/manosphere sites just want to, as Tyler put it, “learn enough to find a girlfriend and then get out”. If in that process you date a lot of women and both parties enjoy the experience, it’s only beneficial.
Game, for lack of a better word, is good. Game is right, game works. Game clarifies, cuts through, and captures the essence of the evolutionary spirit.
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Good point. Solid ending. Game is good.
Gekko, a liberator of labias?
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I was wondering how many would get that reference!
That speech is famous because it’s essentially true. Even though it’s added to a character who is a “capitalist” jackal. Same as the “You can’t handle the truth” speech – essentially true, added to a character who is a bastard.
Now imagine how much a movie, or a TV show, would sell with a realtalking main character. Seriously realtalking, not simply a “chauvinist” Bundy slob who is called “politically incorrect” to bring in the audience. Actual realtalk would be a box office hit.
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Nicholson’s “you need me on that wall” is so on point, it’s timeless!
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This is the comparison that first came to mind when I saw the title of this article i.e. that fishing and PUA are both fundamentally numbers games.
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Fundamentally … I don’t know. Fishing and PUA are both numbers games and skill games. After all, how else could there be such different results in fishing competitions?
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Game is like fishing but not in the way most intend the comparison to be, i.e. a numbers game.
Fish are “attracted” to “lures” but you have to match the conditions and the species sought to the right lure and technique.
You can’t just paddle out in a farm pond and start tossing an offshore lure around… No matter how many “numbers” you put up in that scenario, you will never “hook” a fish… kind of like opening a HB9 in a bar at 11PM and discussing in detail your career as a mid-level actuary or the excellent gas mileage in your Honda Accord…
Successful fishermen know all about the species they are seeking (mating, migration, hibernation, etc.), know the right lures for the conditions and time of year (what they are eating, what attracts them, type of environment/bottom) and know the right techniques (depth, rate of retrieve, where in water column etc.)… It’s a science and a skill – just like pick up. It’s GAME game. It’s not a numbers game.
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Is it that they want a man who is capable of getting tons of pussy, or is it that they want to give themselves to a man who’s the master of himself and his desires?
Or are they the same thing?
Something I’ve been turning over in my head recently…
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I think being the master of your being and desires will lead to “mad pussy.” When I spin plates and put myself first, the girls just keep piling on. A vicious circle of vag if you will
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virtuous vaginal vortex
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hmm interesting. obviously the bit about “mad pussy” is hyperbole but this gives me an excellent idea i should test. a lot of how we act is actually habitual.
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btw i found this article and highlighted relevant section. I told you these people were trying to appropriate the west for themselves.
https://archive.today/y6PJD#selection-1567.0-1567.551
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This is good. A key part of avoiding coming across as a needy man is to adopt an abundance mentality. If you can, create a harem and spin the plates. There’s more than one fish in the sea.
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When I was in college I practiced “gardening”. Open every woman I’d consider taking to bed, then don’t-close. Everywhere on campus. (This is all pre-redpill. I had no idea what I was doing and didn’t really understand why this worked so well). I’d “plant the seed of her interest in me”, then I’d walk away and let that interest germinate. One nice side benefit of this was that I had pretty women starting conversations with me everywhere I went (post-open). Eventually, one-at-a-time, these girls would let me know they were ready and bloom for me.
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Check out the hamster on this thread https://www.reddit.com/r/relationships/comments/31r8xp/me_26f_with_my_cheating_husband_28_m_married_for/
Bishes will put up with any treatment at the hands of an alpha
” I could never leave him because I love him so much and he is so hot”
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women want a man who seems like he gets so much mad pussy that he can take or leave any one particular pussy.
True … Casually projecting such abundance while a million spermazoa are screaming for release has always been the difficult part.
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Anyone looking for a perspective on Beta repulsiveness, go over to a cute girl image post at TheChive. Then scroll down to the comments and wait till one of the female regulars posts a pic.
The ensuing 400 comment tsunami of groveling and exaggerated compliments for thoroughly average chicks is freaking pathetic. Ever want to know what a cute girl feels for brown-nosers, you’ll get an idea right there. Freaking sad. Yeesh.
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OT
Dana Perino complains about undateable men in DC.
http://www.washingtonpost.com/news/book-party/wp/2015/04/07/dana-perino-explains-why-guys-in-washington-are-undateable/?tid=pm_opinions_pop_b
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You can’t expect Fedgov to attract desirable men as employees.
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I live here…women like HER are undateable. DC is a fuckin wasteland. I still do pretty well but I don’t keep any one of them. No fkin chance.
They are toxic to the CORE here. Perino never found a man who could measure up to her 50 million line long list of “entitlements.”
The men here are hipster shit and half of them are gay too. It’s not a great scene. But the women, despite outnumbering the men and being generally better looking than average, are utterly INSUFFERABLE. Complete princess mentality…on a dating site, almost all rate themselves as “very ambitious,” they brag about their careers and how much they work and they post pics doing male shit like jumping out of planes or kissing the same poor dolphin. The games they play here are nuts too….you cannot get a fair shake being a decent guy, you HAVE to be a player just to survive. Girls here will run game on you all day long.
the standard MO here is to make plans with multiple people then just flake on some or all and just do whatever the fuck you feel like right now. People here will flip you off for honking to warn them they are about to hit you with their car while they txt and drive.
When I use DC mode on girls not from here they recoil in terms of how aggressive and impolite the interactions are. You learn to behave indecently to get by.
Here’s an example- I went out with a chick a few years ago. Saw her the other day on Tinder, still have her number, hit her up. She wouldn’t squeeze ME in….I also had to go skiing this past weekend in Utah, so I was not available. I say Sunday or Tuesday, which is about what she was offering, she says “Either. Both.” So I say ok both if it goes well.
She tries to get me to come to a bar next to where she lives, I say no, let’s meet in the middle, she agrees. So came to find out she had already made other plans for Tuesday…a PRE-flake lol. She reckons she didn’t remember the date a few yrs ago went well. I ended up fucking her in my car.
Her pupils were as wide as cake saucers the whole night…talk about turned on lol. Games here are a reflex and they are played to win.
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Anyone looking for a perspective on Beta repulsiveness, go over to a comment thread at TheChive. Wait till one of the female regs posts a pic.
The ensuing tsunami of groveling and hyperbole for completely average chicks is freaking pathetic.
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Yup. You do see an occasional comment on the gals fishing for compliments. Then the onslaught of white knights attacking that commentator.
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Want to see those guys in the flesh?
Next time you see a “Keep calm and chive on” sticker on a car (usually a prius), check out the driver.
Nine out of ten times it’s a beta looking dude (?) driving.
But that one out of ten, that one time…
…it’s a dyke.
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Indeed, it’s all over the net. Any forum a woman posts a picture in, no matter how ugly, it’s Forbidden to be honest about it.
Sometimes I look at a forum called GirlsAskGuys to see the mainstream talk about dating, relationships and sex. Gotta see all sides, it gives you perspective. And yeah, same there.
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> “The shared idea behind all these pithy game theories is that women want a man who seems like he gets so much mad pussy that he can take or leave any one particular pussy. This is the man who “flips the script” and has women chasing him. Women love the man of plenty. Women are repulsed by the man of need.” MAKE HER CHASE YOU. You are the Prize. She always wants what she can’t have. Instead of her teasing your d!ck, you tease her cl!t. Send her hamster spinning off into low-earth orbit.
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BTW, this doesn’t always work with all chicks – there are chicks who WANT the hard sell – who want to be cornered and coralled and smothered and man-handled before they’ll finally relent and give in. And, quite frankly, there are a lot of guys who just don’t have the level of sophistication or patience or nuance necessary to pull off a proper Cl!t Tease.
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You think? I’m not convinced these are common. What would you say are the signs/identifiers of this is the type of chick?
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Women with borderline personality disorder.
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> “the signs/identifiers” I don’t know that I can predict it deductively – I just notice it empirically. It can vary wildly by ethnicity, and by class/caste [SES/IQ] within ethnicity. And remember that many chicks are running their own version of “Game”, where they are dead-set on luring you in and wrapping you around their little fingers and turning you into their own personal collared chained house-bound neutered broken-souled chihuahuas.
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“they are dead-set on luring you in and wrapping you around their little fingers and turning you into their own personal collared chained house-bound neutered broken-souled chihuahuas.”
Or, to plagiarize myself, “Women with borderline personality disorder.” Any woman who upends the courtship dance the way you’re describing is cray cray, to use a clinical term.
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B, I need to think about this. We might be talking about two different things. Or not. Again, I need to think about it.
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It is a common mammalian behavor for the female to require the male to get rough with the female before mating. For example, the female mink has to be bitten and bleed from the wound before she ovulates.
Lots of women at least appreciate rough treatment, from just being picked up and thrown on the bed to being battered women, loving their abusive mate.
Today, men need to be careful on how rough they are with a new female, especially after you pump-and-dump.
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@ Captain Obvious:
” B, I need to think about this. We might be talking about two different things. Or not. Again, I need to think about it.”
I could be misreading your comment, but women who “are dead-set on luring you in and wrapping you around their little fingers” usually have personality disorders. They’re incredibly sweet when you first get together, and they’ll do very un-Christian things in bed. But they’ll also viciously mind fuck you for the duration of the relationship.
Which usually turns “you into their own personal collared chained house-bound neutered broken-souled chihuahuas,” as you put it.
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there are chicks who WANT the hard sell – who want to be cornered and coralled and smothered and man-handled before they’ll finally relent and give in.
This, and dominance in bed, has to do with finding a man who is stronger than she is, as that means he can protect and provide. This can of course go overboard, like the women who write to murderers in prison. But it should be there in some form.
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It’s the same analogy for finding work. Furthermore you must enjoy fishing for the act of fishing, because often you come back empty-handed.
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Any tips for relationship game? I might inject some dread here and there but only when she behaves badly. She’s been behaving very well lately- though, things are getting a little stale. She’s not really chasing me the way she used to (I still think she’s in the role of chaser and me the chasee in the relationship)
I may actually be a boring boyfriend and want to spice things up. Most recently I went off on her friend for encouraging my girl to instagram ( to which GBFM wrote an inspiring ballad) but nothing like that since.
Since I’m not naturally a spontaneous person who has strong game, I’d appreciate advice.
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GFTOG
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Are you exclusive/monogamous?
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Yes. My ‘n’ count is low and I took her virginity. She has one-itis and looks like a puppy whose master has just come home every time I see her. Her pupils dilate. She is very sweet – a nicegirl.
On the other hand she’s been making casual remarks that indicate that her passion is waning like: “I love those pictures of us! Back when everything was so new and exciting.”
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It’s like a little neg.
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Either knock her up and start raising a family with her, or move on. SERIOUSLY. If she isn’t mother-of-your-children material, then do not deprive her of the best years of her fertility. Let her go free to find a man who wants to father children by her. Childless LTRs are just about the most evil thing you can possibly do to a chick.
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Fuck her hard, collect your breath (and second batch of semen) then fuck her again before either of you has gotten out of bed. Repeat this for a few days. A fuck fest, if you will. Say nasty shit to her while you’ve got her bent over and her ponytail wrapped around one of your hands. “Who’s pussy is this?!” is a fave of mine. I make her repeat “Yours!” until I’m fucking her so hard that she’s literally breathless and can no longer speak.
If you own her pussy, you own her heart.
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Congratulations, you own her heart. Now what? Are you going to reward her with children and a family and progeny of her own? Or are you going to dump her in six months, thereby breaking her heart, and pushing her one step closer to becoming a hate-filled carousel-riding thousand-c0ck-stare w!tch who is doomed to spend the second half of her life on this earth living all alone in an apartment filled with cats?
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THIS IS MY GIFT, MY CURSE
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Congratulations, you own her heart. Now what? Are you going to reward her with children and a family and progeny of her own? Or are you going to dump her in six months
I know your political awareness is in the right direction. But with all respect, once again: lay off the MOAR BABIES talk every time someone talks about having a girlfriend. People don’t need you to tell them to have a kid, that’s their own decision when they can have it. You know nothing about their situation with whatever girl they meet. Being met with that holier-than-thou talk when they just want to ask about some game specifics only pisses them off.
You do not look better for bringing up political philosophy whenever people discuss their game success. It only shows them you are not out there dating on your own. If you want to spread the political, you should understand the importance of letting the game talk be game talk. Or the audience will disappear, or just be pissed off, and then you don’t get what you want anyway. Unless what you want is only for yourself to be seen on the soapbox.
And posting meaningless YouTube videos to make people read your posts is annoying and slows down the page. The videos contribute nothing and the post is not THAT important. Don’t be this self-centered. I’m not saying this to get at you, I’m saying it because I mean it.
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yeah, WTFever, Arbiter…what’s the END GAME?
What the fuck is the POINT of all you spergs? To get laid? That big a deal to you?
Try being a real fuckin man and have some kids or this miracle our people created goes to shit because YOU AREN’T A REAL MAN.
You can ape a real man real well, ape an alpha…but I’ve said this before, you’re NOT an alpha. A real alpha would knock her up and raise his offspring. Those happy guys in those old pics…pump and dumping chicks? OF COURSE NOT.
They would look down on you just as surely as women did; that sort of behavior was considered disrespectable for both parties.
People who are actually impressive don’t have to pretend to be with mind games on chicks. And women want to have their babies.
You wanna be a man, be a gd man then. In the old days men didn’t need game to get women; they just were MEN and the women came. They had duty, honor, obligation, courage…all shit LACKING in spergs trying to get pussy like Mystery or who the fuck ever. I would knock him the fuck out in front of any bitch he thinks he can pick up…fuckin mascara wearing faggot in a hat. WTF is that? This is your role model? I’d rather emulate a real man who isn’t a coward too chickenshit to uphold his obligation to society and his race and clan. Bunch of selfish children in adult bodies. Women want leadership from real men, not game players.
Men lost control of women precisely because they became DOUCHEY faggots and now they need fuckin “game” to get laid…doomed society.
[CH: impressive proto-feminist rant.]
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Dear Trav, trying hard as usual… say aren’t you divorced BTW? How is your patriarchy coming along little fella?
and remember…
Just let it go man… it was a long time ago…
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OK – well you see how this happened now right? For maximum effect, avoid monogamy. But that ship’s sailed here.
Confront reality:
Do you want to keep this going?
If no, have the talk and move on. And avoid monogamy going forward, it is like half the battle.
If yes, well Starbuck you got your work cut out for you. Her comment is a red flashing sign – low Alpha, low tingles… Hamster not haaaapppppy.
You got enough residual in the tank it sounds like to execute a slow roll out. And you are likely spot on in your assessment – you ARE a boring guy. No biggie. Most guys are really boring – just give them beer, pizza and Xbox. and some sports on TV… I’m friggen bored by these guys…
Where are you on executing a dynamic, passionate and authentic LIFE? This is the shiznat that breeds the ride or die girls, and keeps would be ride or diers in your orbit (IOI’s for the win). Women want to be led, and want to go along for the ride. The ride is where YOU are going. You need to figure that shit out and ACT on it, without supplicating at all to her. Where are YOU going?
Step 1 get MMSL Primer 2011, Step 2 read all the LTR Game and Game threads here, Step 3 start doing…
Dread is very, very useful, but dread can be overdone in the short term, and poorly executed, with lots of unintended consequences. The biggest reason is because it is not authentic. It’s an act, put on. And she can tell.
However if you are executing on a dynamic, passionate and authentic life, dread is a natural byproduct, as lots of women will be turned on by this and show it to you.
So start now, do your homework. This Saturday, plan an adventure doing something (dynamic) you like or have an interest it (passion), and enjoy it for yourself, then enjoy it with her. That means she is going along with you, you are not asking her how she feels, if she is having fun etc. embrace what you are doing with verve, get invested, show her the other side of you. and when it is over, have some spontaneous sex, in a different place, different positions, slap that ass… let go and have some fun!
And then make nothing of it. Rinse and repeat.
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“Her comment is a red flashing sign – low Alpha, low tingles… Hamster not haaaapppppy.
this is so true. when girls start talking about how it used to be when you first met, they are starting to talk themselves into leaving you. maybe she’s the boring one and it’s her fault you’re not the dynamic, interesting guy she fell for in the beginning. or maybe you’re not giving her enough comfort and she’s testing to see if you’re worth her continued loyalty and commitment. who knows. doesn’t really matter though because in her mind, you’ve lost your edge and that spark that kept her excited and breathless.
i know plenty of guys will say you need to add more dread when this happens so she’ll start chasing you again but i don’t think that’s the solution. you add more dread to a situation where the girl is already seeing you as less of catch or long term prospect, you’re just reinforcing her idea that you’re not worth her continued investment. why would she bother chasing after a guy who is punishing her (dread) and who is also boring as hell?
“You got enough residual in the tank it sounds like to execute a slow roll out. And you are likely spot on in your assessment – you ARE a boring guy. No biggie. Most guys are really boring – just give them beer, pizza and Xbox. and some sports on TV… I’m friggen bored by these guys…”
exactly this. got to stir things up. girls get bored easily and they truly do follow your lead. when you’re not as fun and easy going as you used to be and her hamster starts spinning. wondering what’s wrong. why don’t you like her anymore? is he losing interest in her? etc. etc.
it’s not that hard to get things back in sync again though.
just surprise her once in awhile. if you’re always cool and aloof, let down your guard and be funny or affectionate more than you normally would. do the reverse if you’re always funny and affectionate. catch her off guard and make an effort to be fun when she least expects it. these are probably things you were doing naturally when you first hooked up but you’ve either gotten too comfortable and lazy or you’re worried that you’ll lose the upper hand and turn beta on her so you’re always going back to the default aloof indifferent mode to prevent that. can’t do that in an LTR. you gotta loosen up once in awhile and have fun or you’re never going to be able to keep a girl around for long.
and think of this way. it’s not about doing these things just to keep her. you’ll probably have more fun with her too. it’s a win/win.
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Great posts, K and Sentient. This blog proves more useful everyday.
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Thanks for the advice – I mean my life is not THAT boring, we’re both young doctors so it’s an attractive career based on the SMV market value test for guys, but most doctor guys are notorious for using beta provider game. I work so much at this point so it’s hard for me to want to do something other than sleep on my days off. I do love her and want to stay with her, but I’m wary of oneitis.
From the CH archives: I will try to mix it up, and casually flirt with women when we’re out and about. Start doing some things without her, and throw some mystery into it.
Relationship game on.
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Well good luck Fowler. It sounds to me from the very limited info that you could very well be boring. Work and sleep and stress. I know plenty of doctors young and old and one thing they are all very confident of, often highly misplaced, is the very make view of their status as a long term relationship balm. Beware.
On the dread, it is far better to have dread PLUS high attraction than just manufacture some dread. If you start getting abundant shit tests you have the latter.
Ask yourself this though, who would get more tingles from your girl today, you or some mysterious tan stranger who is cocky and funny, keeps his own schedule, maybe plays music a night a week and has a lot of cool friends and parties to go to and random interesting travel? Is that not more attractive than a title and the hope of a big bank statement one day?
Good luck.
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“On the dread, it is far better to have dread PLUS high attraction than just manufacture some dread. If you start getting abundant shit tests you have the latter.”
Exactly
you can’t let yourself think that dread is all you need. you need to maintain attraction as well. without that, you’ve got nothing.
like i said before, why would she bother chasing after a guy who is punishing her (dread) and who is also boring as hell? the answer is…she won’t.
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Very Male view…
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sorry Fowler that Anon was from me.
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“you can’t let yourself think that dread is all you need. you need to maintain attraction as well. without that, you’ve got nothing.
like i said before, why would she bother chasing after a guy who is punishing her (dread) and who is also boring as hell? the answer is…she won’t.”
Excellent
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“worried that you’ll lose the upper hand and turn beta on her so you’re always going back to the default aloof indifferent mode to prevent that. can’t do that in an LTR. you gotta loosen up once in awhile and have fun or you’re never going to be able to keep a girl around for long.
and think of this way. it’s not about doing these things just to keep her. you’ll probably have more fun with her too. it’s a win/win.”
pro comment.
this was me when i first started approaching relationships from a red pill perspective. so afraid of going back to my beta ways and getting my heart broken because of oneitis that i couldn’t even relax and have fun with a girl i really liked.
thinking that instilling dread is the solution to every situation is just really bad game. aloof asshole all day every day for no reason at all is just as bad as being a weak beta chump.
gotta play somewhere in the middle and re-calibrate, re-calibrate, re-calibrate.
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“I do love her and want to stay with her, but I’m wary of oneitis” JE$U$ H CHRI$T, either knock her up or move on with your life. If you’re both still in residency, then you should have waited another 3 to 5 years before starting a relationship like this – chances are she wouldn’t be able to carry the pregnancy to term due to all the stress, and lotsa luck asking for 6 weeks of family leave if you’re a resident in a major hospital.
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> ‘“I love those pictures of us! Back when everything was so new and exciting.” It’s like a little neg.” G0D D@MN IT, THIS IS A FUBAR SITUATION. You allowed yourself to develop feelings for her, and now she’s already going into nag-hag mode on you? This is bad, man. You’ve got some really serious decisions to make, the most important of which would be determining the answer to the question: “IS SHE MOTHER-OF-MY-CHILDREN MATERIAL?” Ask yourself that question about 100 times a day. And come to a firm clear agreement involving your intuition and your instincts and your experience and your rational capacity as to the correct answer. And tell all these stupid emotions [which are clouding your judgement] to take a hike while you’re considering the question.
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And if after exceedingly careful consideration, you decide that you do indeed want her to be the mother of your children, then ask yourself “WHAT KIND OF FATHER DO I WANT MY CHILDREN TO HAVE?” And hopefully the answer won’t be some d@mned pu$$y-whipped broken-souled Beta who has been nagged so horribly by the children’s Mother that he’s scared of his own shadow. Hopefully your kids will have a Dad who understands that he needs to wear the pants in the family on account of the massive gargantuan grapefruit-sized b@lls between his legs.
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@Sentient…./!Fowler In my case, I had the 27 year old I’m banging tell me: “I’m not feeling that much desire”…one day after sexting me…
She prompted me into an argument… In this case I took the bait, reframed her sarcasm about some petty remark…she was so horny to see me after that she showed up at the airport when I landed and fucked me senseless.
So…without knowing the details of this relationship, it could be lack of ‘tingles” or just overall lack of “drama”….
Either way it’s a red flag. Who wants to be constantly upping the drama just for the benefit of turning a girl on?
It gets tiring and it gets old pretty quick.
The “monogamy” thing is something I avoid now. I have a few girls I’m banging so when one sort of goes off…then I can eject temporarily or permanently. These girls are all interchangeable anyway.
What I sense from Fowler is what happened to me…the girl says something provocative like: “I miss how it used to be” and you (me) immediately start panicking and then trying to figure out where I went “Wrong”…
I’m now wondering if reframing it for the girl to say….”You’re right, you’re boring lately” would suddenly prompt her to start qualifying herself or getting into a fight which would ultimately create the drama she craves while putting you in the driver’s seat…
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> “You’re right, you’re boring lately” WW, that’s an excellent re-frame. For a highly-educated chick like F is dealing with, you could make it a little more subtle. TOTAL CLUELESS DEADPAN: “Well honey, it does seem to take you a lot longer to paint your face these days than it used to.” “Well honey, I bet if you worked really hard at it, then you could fit back in that sexy little Size 4 dress you used to wear.” “Well honey, we could get you one of those push-up bras with lots of support.” “Well honey, if you wore stockings underneath [*to hide the varicose veins*], then you could still go out in your mini-skirt.”
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@wala – those are good reframes but I suspect from Fowler’s description – “nice”, “sweet” “was a virgin”, she’s a doctor, etc. that what he is facing is not a girl with a high need for drama, but a LTR that she is starting to lose attraction in.
I take her comment not as snark, or a neg, but the kind of little truth that spills out from time to time. I bet she didn’t mean anything at all by it, just a real statement by her and she is probably not aware of any significance over it. And also from the description, if she is a Dr and was a virgin, either she was a virgin for loooooong time, or they have been together a long time.
Fowler – how long have you been with this girl?
It sounds to me like the classic blue pill story arc, find each other, stay together, move forward – and the classic blue pill problems of reversion to the mean, slow loss of dopamine, loss of attraction and people not understanding really why this is, but snug in the comfort of the blue pill “well this is what happens over time” pablum. Hell throw in marriage and a kid, this is par for the course to join the “once a month” club most of the other married doctors will be in.
So while he can gain lots of short term benefit by using dread, A&A, reframes etc. it’s all just tap dancing… He needs a structural solution, long term if he is going to stay in a monogamous LTR. Dread, cocky funny, A&A all have there place, shit testing won’t ever end after all, but he needs to make sure he really is the prize, for real, to keep her in chaser mode.
The only rule for LTRs – Have hand and never lose hand.
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“@wala – those are good reframes but I suspect from Fowler’s description – “nice”, “sweet” “was a virgin”, she’s a doctor, etc. that what he is facing is not a girl with a high need for drama, but a LTR that she is starting to lose attraction in.
I take her comment not as snark, or a neg, but the kind of little truth that spills out from time to time. I bet she didn’t mean anything at all by it, just a real statement by her and she is probably not aware of any significance over it”
spot on. i read it the same way. she’s just pining away for the good old days. doesn’t sound like she was being bitchy or throwing anything in his face or anything.
he should be grateful that he’s getting a clue to how she’s feeling now so he has a chance to turn it around before she actually does start shit testing.
if he just tries to reframe and treat everything like a shit test right now, before he even needs to, he’s gonna end up with an issue that never gets resolved and a girl who ends up leaving.
LTR is a different animal and any guy who has been in one knows that dread and agree & amplify aren’t the answers to everything. if it were that cut and dry, everyone would be in LTRs and happy as clams.
i think we seriously need more posts on relationship game here at the chateau.
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paging proto Doctor Will… take notes laddie.
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I’d like to punch you in the face. I should have your problems. Doctor, virgin wife mooning over the wedding picture, things getting a little stale around the manor. Here’s a suggestion – count your stars. Because if you can’t see them – then a knock upside the head might just remind you of what they look like.
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a knock upside the head or a guy swooping in and showing that girl of his some stars.
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http://media.independent.com/img/croppedphotos/2014/05/24/elliot_rodger_t479.jpg?ad14627618f647f3902aa65ed5ac8237c798b1ef
Wanna sarge playa?
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“I’d like to punch you in the face. I should have your problems. Doctor, virgin wife mooning over the wedding picture, things getting a little stale around the manor. Here’s a suggestion – count your stars. Because if you can’t see them – then a knock upside the head might just remind you of what they look like.”
You’re speaking as if my career and my woman fell into my lap.
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For relationships, one good tip is to work out with weights, both of you. If you’re not doing it, look at the Bodybuilding forum to find programs for beginners. Bench press, shoulder press, biceps curls, dumbbell rows (can be done in a machine sitting up with support against your chest to not hurt your back), squats, deadlifts (only once a week), lunges. Eat 32-35 calories per kilo bodyweight, or more, every day when you are working out regularly. And slightly more than one gram protein per kilo bodyweight.
Why? It gives you something to do together, and you’ll feel superior to other couples who don’t get in shape. And she’ll be constantly reminded of how much stronger you are.
And no, she won’t get visible muscles no matter how hard she trains, unless she goes on a specific program for that, eats 3,000 calories and works out every single day. But she will get “toned” like a fitness model, and she’ll get a great ass. Just look up “sexy squats” in Google Images and show her. This is dread game in a way. You show what you like and what you expect. A good woman will appreciate it – it is easier to work out when your partner expects it. And it’s for a healthy life, now and in later years – you’re doing her a favor. And yourself.
Even if she doesn’t do all these exercises, she should do squats and lunges. Sometimes deadlifts, which is also good for the thighs and buttocks.
Introducing a girl to the gym – to real exercises, not standing on the treadmill and losing muscle mass along with the fat – is a great addition to a relationship.
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For the win
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@Fowler, Sentient, Blart I’ve been in this situation. The minute a girl start bitching about the relationship it’s a kind of shit-test to say “Dance monkey”…
Do NOT suddenly start trying hard to please her.
Do NOT suddenly lose your nerve and cave in and start panicking. (I did this)
Do NOT suddenly start second-guessing yourself.
Girls say stupid shit. Look at what she does. Is she mentally drifting? It’s time to start drifting. Relationships are counter-intuitive. The more you push, the more she’ll pull away.
Dread is the only answer here. She’s got to fear losing you. If she doesn’t, then it’s over.
You’ve got to slowly start to amp up your game, more of a jerk, surprises, fuck her hard…disappear….surprise her with an interesting activity
Also, be seen or with other girls but not too obvious. She’s got to see you’re still desirable.
This is one of the main reasons I haven’t gotten into a “serious” relationship since my crazy ex. I put everything I could into that but now standing Wayyyyyyyyy back…my game was good…until I started caring too much.
This is a very delicate balance. I’ve got 2 girls now I bang regularly…one has a bf. I also game girls and have other interests. I’m seen by other girls as interesting.
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BETA OF THE YEAR:
http://drunkvanity.tumblr.com/post/94495855330/i-win#notes
[CH: *SHUDDER*]
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nsfw or your sanity. gag inducing.
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Beta of the Decade…I’m feeling nauseous…
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Maybe he’s part Eskimo and likes whale blubber. Judging’s bad, m’kay?
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IMO Sierra Nevada tastes yeasty. Guess you get used to the flavor.
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So they’re both tasting something yeasty then…
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Used to drink Sierra Nevada on the regular, but have switched up to Arrogant Bastard. Just upset they named a beer after me, but given how sublime it is–eases the pain.
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I drink Raging Bitch IPA for taste and Stella Artois for chillout. No shame in slumming with Natty Bo on occasion, so as not to lose my common touch.
[CH: the best beer I’ve ever drank was a sour beer by a microbrew which name I can’t recall atm. sour beers are fantastic but pricey. as for slumming it summertime style, all those interchangeable euro/latinamerica/asian pilsner style brews are refreshing.]
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It looks to me like he was overcome by the fumes.
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Repulsive.
Cig Stache: HB 0.
Drunk Vanity HB .001
Drunk Vanity for the win.
****
It looks like that dude is taking a snatch nap.
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Get the f#ck away from me… all of you.
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Join our ‘beer summit’ – Sierra Nevada on tap.
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Touche’
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gotdamn man
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There is literal truth to the saying “women are like cats and men are like dogs”
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> Women are repulsed by the man of need.
“Anxiety is love’s greatest killer. It makes others feel as you might when a drowning man holds on to you. You want to save him, but you know he will strangle you with his panic.”
― Anaïs Nin
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How do you tell if a guy is strategically fishing vs. Just not that interested? If a guy doesn’t hunt me down in assume he’s not that into me.
[CH: it’s like obscenity. you know it when you see it.
more practically, a fishing man will still drop his bait in the water. if he were totally uninterested he wouldn’t be out on the lake.]
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Alpha male of the year?
http://www.scmp.com/news/china/article/1756144/chinese-romeo-gets-his-comeuppance-after-wooing-least-17-juliets-all-same
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I wonder how Madamina, il catalogo è questo goes in Chinese.
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I wonder what he called them in bed to not confuse.
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They’re Chinese. It’s not that difficult.
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He’s doing well – not just 17 women but many of them also paid him..
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Reblogged this on XWorkx.
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Check out the cliches :
A Dutch Victoria Secrets model mudsharked and married a black man less famous than her, and then conducts breastfeeding exhibitionism (another weird SWPL hobby) with her two kids.
That is a lot of wrong to pack into just a brief photoessay.
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http://www.buzzfeed.com/juliegerstein/supermodel-doutzen-kroes-shared-breastfeeding-photos-on-inst#.orZ7J17qZa
Victoria Secrets model mudsharked and has two kids. Continues to attention-whore through breastfeeding exhibitionism.
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Milk chocolate or chocolate milk?
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Much circumcised dikk!
Oink
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she’s a fish that kept jumping back in his boat after he caught it, took a picture of it, showed his friends…
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“In fact, Instagaram breast-feeding selfies have their own hashtag: #brelfie.”
Mommy blogs, or mommy instagramming, is a very common form of attention whoring it seems. They know you can’t criticize them for it, because they have a BABY so they’re unassailable. Criticizing the blog is to criticize the baby, which is innocent. They use it as a shield.
Perhaps the internet should be restricted after all, by a paternalistic state. Watch as many sites as you like, but post? Only where we allow you. Wider posting privileges for Party members, but only after they have proven they are well-informed. Let the rest read instead of write. They might even learn something.
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“Mommy blogs, or mommy instagramming, is a very common form of attention whoring it seems. They know you can’t criticize them for it, because they have a BABY so they’re unassailable. Criticizing the blog is to criticize the baby, which is innocent. They use it as a shield.”
same thing with all the pics of moms with older kids. they aren’t showing off the kid even if they try to portray it that way. if it was about the kid, they wouldn’t be sticking their ugly mugs into every shot trying to steal the limelight. they’d just take a pic of the kid like normal parents. it’s all just an excuse to get attention for herself.
and they aren’t even just snapshots anymore. they are all doing formal pics of everything too. photo shoot of the mom when she’s pregnant. shots of her with the new baby. photo shoot on every holiday, birthday, whatever. and it’s almost always just a ton of shots of the mom with or without the kids. hardly any of the dad. even if he’s in the picture.
used to be that parents would maybe have a handful of formal pictures of their families over a lifetime and the rest would be casual snapshots. not anymore.
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“women want a man who seems like he gets so much mad pussy that he can take or leave any one particular pussy. This is the man who “flips the script” and has women chasing him. Women love the man of plenty. Women are repulsed by the man of need.”
Absolutely true and let’s give credit to CH.
With that said there is a difference between game and empire. You use game to build an empire. What is described above is empire. I have been there before when I was single and it is a totally different level. When I talk about sea urchins it was because of the empire. There is no feeling like it. In fact I would say that the feeling of empire is greater than sex itself. I am working on rebuilding my empire and know it takes time but once it gets going it almost self perpetuates itself. Here is to the empire we are all trying to build and to those that are already there. Enjoy. When I left my empire to get married it was something I was not ready for. I longed for my empire as it collapsed under the weight of my marriage.
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I dig this analogy! Yes, all men need to develop, build and maintain their empire. Spot on
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A word To The Wise
I know a lot of guys on here are taking the red pill and embracing the Alpha mindset but don’t think that there are not a lot of beta’s out there in the wild. Some of these beta’s come to this site looking for help so be cognizant of that.
I swear I have friends so beta that it would make your weenis fall off if I told some of the stories. It is real guys.
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Putin,
Have you ever been accused of “corrupting” another man by his pedestalized woman?
This happened a few days ago when a wife accused me of being a bad influence on her man as I was putting “dangerous thoughts” in his head.
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I’ve walked away from several (what should have been) good friends, because their wives were graceless cunts.
I lose all respect for an otherwise good man when he won’t stand up to his woman when she’s totally out of line with the bare minimum of social graces… especially when he talks such big stuff about her being a pain in the ass and not needing her… when she isn’t around.
As if merely having another person in hubby’s life is a threat of some sort. (((shakin’ mah haid))).
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Of all the good friends I’ve lost, 90% have been because of women. Women love love love severing male bonds to increase the power they have over their BF/Husband.
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Frank, great question. Short answer is yes. But how the wife knows is because the beta ends up breaking down and turning the blame on you.
I just told a friend of mine to not bother contacting me again until he is serious about his marriage. He told me he was going with his wife to have a meeting with their pastor. This guy is a beta to the core and was probably my best friend at one time. His wife would stare him down until he turned away. He asked me why she would do that. She publicly stated that she should not of married him. His wife absolutely despises him. I used to blame the wife but after some time realized that he is to blame because of his beta responses.
I am going through a replacement period with relationships and some of the ones I am bringing in are women. Just lost another friend yesterday when he finally broke down and went white knight on me. I think age along with marriage has a beta effect.
Again there are beta’s that sense something is wrong and are looking for answers so just be aware that does happen.
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I lost a friend of 25 years, who cut off contact with me because his wife, under whose rule he chafes, convinced him that I tool him and make him feel bad. Third parties are unanimous in calling bullshit on that interpretation of facts. I respected him tremendously prior to the falling out. What a spineless wimp he turned out to be.
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Greg,
What makes it worse is that several of the couples whose wives dislike me are religious and the wives use religion to further bully their husbands. I was asked to leave a bible study because I was the only unmarried one in the group.
I can do without these people, but it hurts. It especially hurts knowing that in ten years these wives will have lost the looks which makes them half-way bearable to be around.
Does the guilt eventually go away?
Tell it to me straight, Greg.
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“I lose all respect for an otherwise good man when he won’t stand up to his woman when she’s totally out of line with the bare minimum of social graces… especially when he talks such big stuff about her being a pain in the ass and not needing her… when she isn’t around.”
same here.
a lot of guys want to believe that the type of women they choose to have in their lives doesn’t matter or they say they don’t care what anyone else thinks of the woman they’re with. but it does matter. you have to care because the woman you’re with, how she represents herself, the way she treats you and other people makes a big difference in how others perceive you. right or wrong that’s how it is.
makes me think of this boss i had. really respected the guy. he was great at his job. a real powerhouse. he brought his wife to a company picnic once and we all got to see who really wore the pants in the family. she was annoying and bitchy. she was teasing him and disrespecting him the whole time. everything she said was tacky, rude, and sarcastic. i think she actually thought she was being cute and charming. that might work in other social situations with other people who are low class like that but it didn’t play well in that situation. and he just kept his mouth shut and let her do it.
no matter how big an alpha he was in his work or with his buddies, i never could see him quite the same way after that.
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I’m currently in my last year of college, and I used to think I had three very good friends until I saw them interacting with women.
One has a girlfriend, the second has been cheated on twice and the other has been rejected so many times I lost the count. I got tired of trying to get them into their senses. The one with the girlfriend was chewing the red pill, tasting it and then his gf asks him not to talk to me anymore. He did.
The other guy lives in a world of fairy tales where all women are good and #beautfiul no matter what. I can’t cope with that. The last one is the ultimate handsome beta, still dumb.
You just get tired of trying I guess, it hurts to see them be so stupid. Sigh.
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I lost my best childhood friend to his current wife – I don’t even recognize him anymore – almost like a Bruce Jenner $ex change thing. About 20 miles away, his parents are both dying, and have round the clock nursing care, but his current wife has his b@lls in such a vise-like grip that she won’t even allow him to drive the 20 minutes to visit them. Oh, and did I mention that she’s an alcoholic?
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> “What a spineless wimp he turned out to be.” That’s my childhood friend in a nutshell. Massive weight gain, grovelling, speaks in a bizarre goo-goo ga-ga voice around their daughter, no hint of the old attitude of pu$$y-slaying which I had tried to inculcate in him, even his emails now reek of Beta supplication before the owner of his company. Sigh.
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Greg, Putin, Captain O, Marko, Blart, PA, mark, Anon,
Here’s another variable to the silliness of it all: several of the couples whose wives dislike me are very religious and the wives use religion to further bully their husbands. I was asked to leave a bible study because I was the only unmarried male in the group. One wife politely explained to me that her husband did not need relive his glory days with me. What’s funny is that I have only known some of these people for less than 3 years. Plus, I’m older than all of them by 6 years, so if there were glory days they were well before my time.
I can do without these people, but it hurts. It especially hurts knowing that in ten years, maybe less, these wives will have lost the looks that makes some of them half-way bearable to be around.
I don’t like to give up on people, but there’s no victory to be had.
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Married women see their husband’s single friends as a threat to the marriage. I think they are afraid the husband will compare single freedom to married chains and decide to stray. I haven’t kept one friend who got married.
Anyway, singles and marrieds don’t mix. Their concerns are so different they have little in common to talk about.
[CH: one of my friends is a married philanderer. that’s one way unmarried and married men can have things to talk about.]
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Have you ever been accused of “corrupting” another man by his pedestalized woman? This happened a few days ago when a wife accused me of being a bad influence on her man as I was putting “dangerous thoughts” in his head.
I’ve walked away from several (what should have been) good friends, because their wives were graceless cunts.
Of all the good friends I’ve lost, 90% have been because of women.
I lost a friend of 25 years, who cut off contact with me because his wife, under whose rule he chafes, convinced him that I tool him and make him feel bad.
The one with the girlfriend was chewing the red pill, tasting it and then his gf asks him not to talk to me anymore.
I lost my best childhood friend to his current wife – I don’t even recognize him anymore – almost like a Bruce Jenner $ex change thing.
several of the couples whose wives dislike me are very religious and the wives use religion to further bully their husbands. I was asked to leave a bible study because I was the only unmarried male in the group. One wife politely explained to me that her husband did not need relive his glory days with me.
These are very depressing stories. It hasn’t happened to me, but that’s because my friends are as hardcore politically as I am. They choose girlfriends who are in the right direction. I have lost friends though, and a girlfriend, and girls I dated. Because of feminism and anti-Whiteism, the poisons spread in our society.
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“the wives use religion to further bully their husbands.” Yep, it does happen. American Christianity can be very different from Biblical Christianity.
“I don’t like to give up on people,” Agree with sentiments.
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I do not want my weenis to fall off. I have to protect my virility. An attribute that many betas either never developed, abandoned or sold cheaply.
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“Did you know…it was all going to go so wrong for you
And did you see it was all going to be so right for me
Why did we tell you then
You were always the golden boy then
And that you’d never lose that light in your eyes”
– Pink Floyd “Poles Apart”
Some men collapse into beta with age, and that’s what happened to the ex-friend I called a spineless wimp in an above comment. I respected him for his verve and generosity of spirit going back to our early teens. He was the more extraverted one, I was more serious.
But as life rolled on I took risks, nutted up, and won. But he was always the passive long-suffering martyr when life gave him his own trials. Don’t wanna go into specifics on both of our counts.
In the end, the kid we always called the golden boy became a miserable wimp. Because I always saw him through the filter of his school-years charisma and subsequent demonstrations of being a stand-up guy, I respected him sometimes as the better man of the two of us — until the utterly unexpected bombshell of his wife telling him to cut me off because I “tool” him.
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@Putin
“I know a lot of guys on here are taking the red pill and embracing the Alpha mindset but don’t think that there are not a lot of beta’s out there in the wild. Some of these beta’s come to this site looking for help so be cognizant of that.”
yep, we do what we can to help, but ultimately it’s up to them to do the work…they can read and learn…post questions, field reports, ask for advice, etc., but they still have to walk the path…and that red pill is bitter…
@Frank
“Have you ever been accused of “corrupting” another man by his pedestalized woman?
This happened a few days ago when a wife accused me of being a bad influence on her man as I was putting “dangerous thoughts” in his head.”
good job!…lol…
@Greg
“I lose all respect for an otherwise good man when he won’t stand up to his woman when she’s totally out of line with the bare minimum of social graces… especially when he talks such big stuff about her being a pain in the ass and not needing her… when she isn’t around.”
that feminine imperative is the 90 bazillion pound elephant in the room…and it’s not easy to fight against by yourself (especially given the divorce rape power/threat women have)…is there any way you could help your friend get some minimal skills to deal with this situ?…there may not be, but don’t just write off your friends who may not have any skills to deal with her…
“As if merely having another person in hubby’s life is a threat of some sort. ”
you are a BIG threat…don’t forget that…
@PA
“I lost a friend of 25 years, who cut off contact with me because his wife, under whose rule he chafes, convinced him that I tool him and make him feel bad. Third parties are unanimous in calling bullshit on that interpretation of facts. I respected him tremendously prior to the falling out. What a spineless wimp he turned out to be.”
same advice as Greg…feminine imperative is a weighty foe…is there anything you could do to support your friends?…there may not be, but at least think about it…
“In the end, the kid we always called the golden boy became a miserable wimp. Because I always saw him through the filter of his school-years charisma and subsequent demonstrations of being a stand-up guy, I respected him sometimes as the better man of the two of us — until the utterly unexpected bombshell of his wife telling him to cut me off because I “tool” him.”
this is likely the last of a string of shit tests his wife has given him, which he is failing miserably…it’s also likely to be the next step on the way to his future divorce rape…
maybe you guys don’t remember the cost/benefit analysis, since you’ve been red pill long enough, but it’s still pretty fresh in my mind…wife shit tests you…one one side = give in to some minor complaint/criticism (which doesn’t seem like such a big deal)…on the other = lose EVERYTHING (house, kids, ‘pussy’ (lol)…)…if you don’t know the real situ (red pill) what choice are you going to make?…especially if you don’t have ANY support the other way…
good luck!
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I admire the milk of human kindness flowing in your veins…
But helping or supporting “friends” with marital advice who are already long-married men with children of their own isn’t the same kettle of fish as when one’s posse is a bunch of late teens/early twenties type fellows just beginning to make their way in the world.
In fact, the two cases I had in mind when mentioning this phenomenon happen to be fellows who were actually a couple of years older than me.
And if you think giving such advice blows up in one’s face on an anonymous forum, you should see the effect it has on erstwhile “bros” in the real world.
And in that vein:
You sound a bit naive and more than a bit presumptuous to be giving such pre-packaged Dear Abby advice to your elders. Exactly how old are you? I’m guessing twenties, maybe early thirties… not married, no kids.
In which case, heh, heh… STFU.
If my assumption is wrong, well… I stand corrected.
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Greg,
In the dissolution of friendships, has religion or religious beliefs ever played a role?
I ask this because some of the wives who dislike me are very religious and have told their husbands that I need to be kicked out of a male group bible study because I am the only unmarried male in the group.
Women using religion to bully their husbands angers me a great deal.
What say you, Mr. Eliot?
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@Greg
that milk of human kindness flowing in my veins isn’t ALL altruistic…more men on our team = better chance to survive…in spite of our host’s ‘poolside’ attitude, i do think western civ is worth saving…it’s long-shot at this point, but what the hell…lol…
naive?…not me…lol…mid-50s, wife, kids…blah, blah…my story’s not really that unique…or secret…you can search it out here if you really care…lol…i saw the handwriting on the wall re future divorce rape and took some action …google FTW!…lol…
thankfully i found CH and Rational Male (and early MMSL) so i had a chance to turn it around, but it was close…and i was MOTIVATED…lol…a couple more months and it would have been too late…which is about the point your friends are at…complete isolation before the wife gets completely turned off and ‘eat prays’ his ass into a bad place…
i’ve been in your friends’ shoes, and it sucked…but to be honest, i wouldn’t have listened to you either…i had to come to it when i was ready…but you could still put a bug in their ear about the red pill…that’s what the wife is worried about…and yes, i’ve seen my meat world advice blow up, too…try talking your churchian buddy out of getting married to that ‘great, once in a life time special snowflake’…lol…anon inter webs is much easier…lol…i think the biggest reason is that men coming here are ready to take some action, so are ready to listen…but that doesn’t mean i shouldn’t at least try IRL…spread that red pill around so everybody can enjoy some bitterness…lol…
good luck!
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Greg,
stack ate another one…
Frank,
not Greg, but…
“In the dissolution of friendships, has religion or religious beliefs ever played a role?”
friendships need to have both sides engaged and trying…anything else doesn’t really matter what reasons there are, it’s still a fail…
“I ask this because some of the wives who dislike me are very religious and have told their husbands that I need to be kicked out of a male group bible study because I am the only unmarried male in the group.”
that doesn’t sound very ‘christian’…lol…this is a shit test toward their husbands individually and as a group, if the men don’t stand up to the wives = fail = beta…and one step closer to the husbands being divorced or cuck’d…
“Women using religion to bully their husbands angers me a great deal.”
you have every right to be pissed off…Dalrock covers this stuff, too…my only advice would be to not ‘voluntarily’ leave the group, just bc women are ‘mad’…and ‘agree and amplify’ works here too…’yes, i should leave the bible group, so i have more time for atheism/satan worship/feminism…’ [change subject]…
good luck!
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PSA: YaReally’s post on comfort from a few threads back finally made it past the mods, I’m reposting it here, took out the at symbols:
Since this article is like a week I dropped a response/recommendation list of study material in:
https://heartiste.wordpress.com/2015/04/01/essenbetenficken/
But it’s of course in mod lol But reload there for whenever it comes out of mod.
“it seems like while Rapport is good, and kino is usually good as well btw, Comfort is still lacking. Do you concur?”
Ya. This is the situation I described where you can have amazing Rapport, but they need Comfort/trust to bang you.
Think about it like this: Why do they want you to have their number? What’s a number going to lead to? A date, possibly multiple dates. What do they get on dates? They get more experience with you, trusting you, in different environments, which results in more Comfort. Why do online girls want to meet up instead of just come over to bang you if you have good rapport? They need some Comfort and that’s hard to build over OKCupid. Why do girls who break up tend to bang guys in their social circle instead of randoms when they’re on the rebound or cheat? They have Comfort/trust with those guys from being around them. Why do girls bang guys based off social proof? The other girls being comfortable with the guy gives them Comfort because they think “those girls must know something I don’t, if they have Comfort/trust with him then it’s probably okay for me to feel that way too” even though they may not have even talked to the guy themselves and have no Rapport at all with him yet.
So you can get Comfort without Rapport, and get laid just off Comfort…but having Rapport without Comfort means no lay. She may still be into you, but she’ll want to do “other stuff” (like go on a date) to try to give herself time to get that Comfort she needs. And Rapport is just a really easy way to get Comfort compared to trying to organize social proof and shit.
“If so, what are some effective techniques to increase Comfort in a SNL paradigm?”
The idea is that she has to trust that opening up to you won’t harm her, basically. So how can we do that?
1) Venue changing her is big. Every time you venue change a girl, ya there’s the time distortion effect but also you’re entering a new environment/area with her and not murdering her and no one kills her AND in fact, she has a GOOD TIME. So she gains a reference experience that “if I go somewhere with this guy, I can trust that it will be a fun experience for me”. If you’re chatting with the hot bartender and she’s stuck behind that bar all night, ya you might be cool and you have great rapport, but her brain has no reference experience that if she follows you down a dark street when her shift is over at 3am you aren’t going to rape and kill her. But if you were talking to a girl in like a nightclub, you could tell her “come with me let’s go dance” and when she leaves her friends to follow you to the dance floor and has fun, she gains a ref exp of that…then you say “whew I’m hot let’s get a drink” and she follows you through the crowd to the bar area and has fun as you chat, so she gains another ref exp of that. Then you say “hey I need some air it’s so hot in here” and take her to the patio, so she gains ANOTHER ref exp of that. Then when you leave the club together arm in arm, she gains another ref exp there. So when you say “hey let’s get some pizza I’m starving there’s a place right over there” she has all these ref experiences that following you doesn’t result in bad outcomes so her brain says “ya! go with this guy, every time we follow him we have good feels!!” So now you have Comfort/trust.
If you’re going on a Day2 you should be dropping into convenience stores to grab gum and shit, like anything where you can change areas. Even inside the bar, take her over to the pool table, take her to a booth, take her up to the bar to do a shot, etc. Get her brain full of reference experiences that when she follows you she can trust you to give her good feels. Comfort.
2) Social proof, like I mentioned earlier. If other girls are comfortable with you then her brain says “ok we can trust him”, or at the worst will MINIMALLY test you on it just to be totally reassured. But like, if you have a good rep or girls up on you, you can end up with Comfort before you even talk to eachother. This is why if you walk around opening sets with a pivot on your arm, sets blow open, because for that hot girl to be on your arm everyone assumes they can trust you because she does. This is also why a lot of Naturals get laid like crazy in their social circles or at their favorite bar etc…they’re riding Social Proof. So as we discussed earlier they already have A2 when they approach, PLUS because of their reputation they have Comfort, so literally before they even say Hello they have two huge aspects of seduction nailed…so how much work do they really have to do from there? Make some idle chit chat, isolate, and escalate. This is also why a lot of them choke when you try to make them do an actual cold approach in a bar they’ve never been in and don’t know anyone in…’cause now they don’t have A2 or Comfort and they’re not used to having to build those things from scratch and panic.
3) Calibrated Kino. I’ll explain down below where I reply to walawala.
4) Since I’m lazy about venue changing and these days I try to avoid using social proof (already did a lot of that the previous few years, and I’ll have to do it when I’m in my 40s so right now I’m trying to avoid getting too known ’cause I like the challenge) and don’t really do kino, I do most of my Comfort building through my Rapport. As we’ve established, those questions about her hopes and dreams and scariest fears and shit aren’t Comfort those are Rapport…so I don’t bother with them because I’m not real interested in what she wanted to be when she grows up and that doesn’t get me any closer to Comfort lol If I’m going to use Rapport, I like to be talking about deep sexual topics ’cause that’s more interesting to me and the sexual topics I talk about build Comfort.
So like my Rapport might be something like “ya, I’m not good at the boyfriend shit at all lol I tried a couple serious relationships but I’m way too selfish. I like my free time and I don’t want to get into fights because I was too busy to reply to her txt about what her mom said to her, or have to explain that yes I slept on my buddy’s couch because I was drunk off my ass after the strippers and no I didn’t cheat etc. Too much hassle, you know? After that shit I hooked up with a girl who had a boyfriend who was a shitty lay and it was great, we just txted eachother when we were horny then we’d meet up and have our fun then go our separate ways. No drama, no relationship talks. I think I’m just destined to be the creepy old single guy in the bar lol”
Now that’s a casual Rapport conversation I can have with some hot bartender chick where I have no social proof and can’t venue change her or kino her…but what exactly have I done with that blurb in terms of building Comfort for her to bang me that night? Well, I’ve shown that I CAN do LTRs, I’ve had a couple serious LTRs so clearly a couple girls trusted me enough to date me. The girls liked me so much that they demanded all my attention. I’m letting her know that I go get drunk at the rippers and crash on buddies’ couches irresponsibly which means that my buddies trust me, I’m a bit of a fun unpredictable bad boy, and the “no I didn’t cheat” means even under the scumbag I’m probably a pretty good guy a girl can trust. Then I show that a girl with a boyfriend trusted me SO MUCH that she hooked up with me regularly clearly having enough Comfort with me to trust me not to fuck her LTR up. Also I’m implying I’m a good lay with the bit about her boyfriend being a shitty lay lol And I’m laying the framework for what OUR relationship will be, just txting eachother when we’re horny etc. Sure I’m kind of a bum, but I’m a predictable bum and everything I do (the strippers, drunk on a buddy’s couch, banging a taken girl, etc.) is congruent to being the dude who’s plopped on a bar stool by himself flirting with the hot bartender on a slow Tuesday night…and because it’s all congruent “better the devil you know than the one you don’t”. She knows what to expect from me. I’m not sitting there promising her the world where she’ll be suspicious it’s some kind of trap or there’s another shoe to drop, I’m saying look I’m not perfect but I’m cool with that and you can trust me to NOT be perfect lol
Look at all that shit I did with just a quick little minute long Rapport snippet, she knows banging me is something that’ll probably be a good experience with no negative consequences. She’ll need more than just this of course, but I have a bunch of this kind of stuff that I stack in there (I share sex stories with them a lot, like I’ll just go into “there was this ONE girl who…” and tell some fun DHV sexual story that again shows that sex with me is fun and consequence free and builds Comfort).
Even a line like “I think people are too judgemental about sex…it’s a natural thing, it’s fun, most people who are monogamous are all cheating on eachother anyway. I say if it feels good, do it.” is saying “if you fuck me, you can trust me not to judge you, you won’t be branded a slut, I won’t ruin your reputation, I’ll keep things on the down-low, etc.” So she feels Comfort/trust. Toss in some laser eye-contact and general charm and why WOULDN’T she fuck me? There’s no downside in it for her as far as her brain can tell.
Meanwhile what are other guys doing in Rapport? “So what did you want to be when you grow up? Oh a ballerina…that’s cool, have you seen Les Mis? Ya that’s a great ballet. Who’s your favorite ballet dancer?” zzzzzz…..or maybe “So when did you move here? Oh that’s cool, ya this is a great city. There’s this art gallery, have you been to it? You have to see this painting it’s beautiful bla bla” zzzzzzz….
Like ya, that’s all good RAPPORT…but none of that is building Comfort/trust that she should come fuck you tonight lol If anything the art gallery one would just make her expect to go on a date with you (where you would end up getting Comfort naturally as you meet up and grab coffee and go to the gallery and go for a drink etc., this is why normal dudes still get laid through the traditional dating process, they just happen to be stumbling into Comfort a little slower than a seasoned PUA).
Am I doing any super magic fuckin wizardry? No. I’m just running very efficient game…I know what switches I need to flip and I’m making sure the things I say and do are flipping those switches in as short a window as possible.
There are probably other ways to get Comfort but I’ll leave that as an exercise for the reader lol
having a bad day
“so, just to check…”
I wouldn’t summarize it in terms of alpha/beta. Too limiting to view it through those terms.
walawala
“So is building comfort the reason I’ve been able to bang girls who in effect no very little about me?”
Ya. In your social circle stuff you’re getting Comfort that way, and in your normal dates you are building Comfort through whatever it is you do on those dates.
“Can you use kino to build comfort?”
Actually ya, but to get nuanced: calibrated Kino would build Comfort. Because what is Comfort? It’s the trust that nothing bad will happen to her if she goes home with you to fuck. How would Kino demonstrate that? Well if you touch her, and she stiffens up because she’s a bit nervous, and you BACK OFF as you’re supposed to, to warm her up before you try it again, you’re showing solid calibration to her comfort level. That’s telling her “look, I’m into you, but I can sense when you’re not comfortable and you don’t even have to tell me when I’ve crossed a line because not only will I sense that I’ve crossed a line but I have the self-restraint and abundance mentality with sex to back off and not make a big scene about it and just joke around with you and make sure you’re comfortable before I try again.” So her brain extrapolates “ok if I go home with this guy and I change my mind or I’m not into it or for we’re going at it but he’s trying to stick it in my bum and I don’t want to do that, he’s demonstrated that he’ll sense that and back off and make sure I’m comfortable” and you build Comfort.
And if your Kino is super slick and never makes her uncomfortable because it’s perfectly calibrated that tells her that you know what you’re doing and won’t make her feel discomfort.
Compare that to the guy who’s Kino’ing aggressively or awkardly and doesn’t register her discomfort and leaves his hand in places she isn’t comfortable with for longer than she’d like and causes a scene about “why are you such a prude, whatever, don’t be so frigid jeeze” etc. and she has to squirm away and feels icky etc. She’s going to not just not have Comfort but have FEAR about hooking up with that guy because he clearly can’t be trusted to have any kind of self control or restraint or sense of what she’s feeling or is comfortable with.
Junior, kant
“Awesome breakdown, thanks for putting that up.”
Quit frankly I’m amazed anyone understood that mess lol I was expecting a bunch of “wtf are you talkin about YaReally??” replies. Glad it makes sense…it’s really a nuanced concept that like, isn’t going to make much of a difference for most guys just running spam approach high energy game, but for the guys looking to tighten every screw on their race car, this is the nuanced shit that does it.
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Yareally, etc
Here’s a field report from a few days ago that highlights some of the comfort issues we were discussing in the earlier thread. The difference between this and my typical dates is that we skipped the bar and went straight to my place for a drink (sometimes I have them meet me right at my place but that’s a different situation altogether). I got the lay by (like YaReally suggested in the post that came out today) doing some sex talk based rapport to gain the comfort that was missing.. Here it is:
Met her late on a Friday night at 1:30am. I figured this would be a lay up considering the meeting time, but it was actually quite tough and I almost didn’t get the lay.
We got to the bar but there was a cover and a DJ and it was too loud, so I suggested going somewhere else. We stopped by my place to get my cigs but ended up staying, we smoked and I got us a couple of beers. She seemed very nervous and wouldn’t stop talking, and I just played my typical relaxed game.
After I finished my beer I started escalating, but her kissing was very held back and she was hesitant to do anything sexual. She stopped me to ‘talk about what’s going on’, said ‘I don’t have sex with a stranger I just met’ etc etc. I didn’t feel like dealing with her LMR, so I just said it’s cool and whatever she doesn’t feel like doing we don’t have to. She felt more comfortable after that and we started fooling around again, but once I started rubbing her pussy she again stopped me to talk.
She said she should go, I told her to go if she wants to. She said she’d be down to meet again but I said she seems cool and everything but honestly no offense but I’m just into more sexually open women. She took offense that she’s not sexually open, and said she just doesn’t fuck strangers so quickly unless she’s really drunk. I said that’s sad that she has to be drunk to feel comfortable with sex, and that I’m only interested in fucking her sober. I told her I don’t do relationships or monogamy and talked about my experience with group sex and so on. We talked about society slut shaming women and she started to open up more, talking about how she’s a really sexual person and doesn’t want to be inhibited by a man. She wasn’t leaving so I had the feeling that she was secretly hoping we’d find a way to get around her ASD so we could fuck.
It was getting late now, past 3am, and she asked if she could sleep over and borrow a tshirt. At this point I could sense a shift in her mood. I got a tshirt and had her turn around and slowly and sexily I took her dress and bra off, and had her put on the shirt. I could see her horniness growing. I told her I know it’s not fair for her to only be naked, and she readily agreed, so I took my shirt and pants off. She looked at my crotch with DDB eyes and said ‘wow it looks like you have a really nice cock under there’ and started touching it lightly. She said ‘feel free to take it out..’ and I took it out, she said ‘that’s a really beautiful cock’ and started sucking it lightly.
At this point it was a done deal, I let her blow me for a while then fucked her with no LMR. She orgasmed hard during sex and said the sex was amazing. Afterward we debriefed and the floodgates opened, she told me about all the sex she’s had and some one night stands lately (completely contradicting what she had said earlier). We talked about dating and she said the sex should definitely happen on the first date, and if it doesn’t by the third she would dump the guy–again contradicting everything she said an hour before. Women are so strange, they literally don’t even notice when they do this. Whatever ‘feels’ like the truth IS the truth to them.
I think the problem here was that I didn’t build enough comfort early on, I should have taken her to a bar for a drink or two, then back to my place for a third drink to have her fully comfortable and ready for sex.
She left early in the morning.
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lol. you beaner. keep the bs comin.
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Pretty much. He is copying from online short-stories, maybe changing the text around a little to make it harder to find through Google. Anyone who didn’t get that, welcome to the internet.
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Srsly.
All that nonsense just to write “that’s a really beautiful cock”.
What a fag.
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I have a sneaking suspicion there’s a bit sock-puppeting going on in some of these “Hey Ya!” field reports.
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For the virgins here who missed the point–I don’t think I have a particularly nice one, her buying temperature was just spiked through the roof at that moment. These things happen when you learn to interact with real-life girls (gasp).
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She’s a whore.
Probably would’ve let you take a shit on her chest if you’re scat game was tight.
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They all are, even (especially) your mom.
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hey buddy – YOUR MOM
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kant,
You using YaShittybootey’s joke book too?
Dude, you’re better off enrolling in one of his Scat Boot Camps.
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Great FR and great stuff by Ya as well.
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@Kant – what I find interesting about this is how you reframed and qualified her by saying you were into more sexually open women. That sounds like the turning point because then she started qualifying to you and opening up as well, building rapport/comfort.
It wouldn’t have occurred to me to say that – I’d probably just have ignored the statement and changed the subject or something..
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Culum,
This will come with experience. I hit 100 notches recently, at this point I couldn’t care less about getting one more lay or not. If the lay doesn’t happen she’s the one who missed out on a guy who actually knows how to fuck her right (you have to truly believe that).
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Great stuff hanging back and rolling with it. Was this another online girl?
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“Women are so strange, they literally don’t even notice when they do this. Whatever ‘feels’ like the truth IS the truth to them.”
Exactly. The only TRUTH to a women is emotion (at the moment). It makes sense though, this is the arc between solipsism and hypergamy, and powers their sexual strategies.
This is what guys need to understand, game is more than a set of parlor tricks to spread legs, it is built upon a sound framework of psychology and biology. You can’t accept all of the science and deny game. You can’t accept game and deny the science. You are either all in or not in at all.
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@Kant This is a great report. The fact the girl came over, the her hamster started spinning and she finally submitted is classic.
But what stands out is how once you’ve isolated her and say: “I’m frankly into more sexually open women”—she gets defensive and wants to prove she is.
I’ve used this concept before: “I thought you were more open-minded…” “I figured you’d be more open to meeting more mature guys”… ever single time they start qualifying themselves.
Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t.
But clearly girls respect guys who know where they stand.
All girls are sexual…I get this: “Oh she’s not into banging guys…” from dudes who tried and failed with a girl I banged.
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The responses to this from the usual crybaby crew are fucking hilarious lol
You built a bunch of Comfort of the “there will not just be no bad consequences to fucking him, but there’ll be good rewards for it” variety with the sex talk. Giving her a bunch of opportunities to leave is another way to build Comfort, because you’re saying like, “you can choose to stay, but if you change your mind that’s cool I have enough sexual abundance to not care and have to rape you or anything, it would be cool if you stay cause I’m into you but I know we’ll bang next time we hang out if we don’t bang tonight so it’s not a big deal to me if you don’t want to hook up tonight”.
Then add on the qualifier of losing interest in her because she’s not sexual enough and there you go. I use that type of one a lot. I do a lot of talking about how people are judgemental about sex and prudes and I like adventurous girls and adventurous sex etc. so the girl can tell that if she doesn’t step it up and let that sexual side out, she’s going to lose me. So while you (and walawala it sounds) are doing this with HER as the subject, like “I thought YOU were more adventurous” or “I prefer girls who are more sexually open (than YOU)”, I do it in a more roundabout way where I talk about other girls who were prudish and how it was a turn-off to me, and other girls who were really sexual and comfortable with sex and how that was a turn-ON to me, and the girl’s hamster reads between the lines and picks up what I’m saying and figures out that she should qualify herself to me…I find this way is a little more subtle with slightly less chance of coming off confrontational. Just my personal style, but some guys vibe works really well with the way you’re doing it…like I’ve known guys who will take it to the extreme and like if the girl won’t let him escalate he’ll flat out tell the girl “Ok, I’m calling you a cab.” “What? Why??” “I don’t like to waste my time. I thought we had a connection but you clearly don’t want to be here.” and the girl will scramble like crazy to qualify herself. I prefer the laid back hippy-esque “it’s all good” style myself lol
Meanwhile for one of the judgemental “WIMMIN SHOUDLNT HAVE SEX TAT GIRLS A SLUT ANY GIR L WHO HAS SEX IS A WORTHLESS SLUT WHORE MY GIRLFRIEND IS A UNICORN” chodes, that girl will keep up the “oh I never have sex on the first date” act because the girl knows that’s what they want to hear and is used to being disqualified if she’s honest about sex.
Then the guy discovers the video of her getting gangbanged in Cuba when she was in college after 10 years of wedded bliss where she reluctantly gives him sad handjobs once a month because she “just isn’t a slut” and his mind is blown lol
And a good read on her not actively trying to leave meaning she hopes you’ll find a way around her ASD. My fav analogy for it is that her ASD is like a prison guard patrolling the prison halls and you’re the guy sneaking in to break her out of prison. She WANTS to escape with you but she can’t control that ASD guard, and when he walks by if he catches you two she’ll get LMR you have to deal with, but she’s hoping as much as you do that you’ll figure out a way to sneak past that guard and escape to sexual freedom. Like you’re in it together, both up against her ASD because she doesn’t WANT to get ASD. But a lot of guys will act like she’s controlling her ASD and telling the guard to come over and get huffy or give up ’cause they don’t just “get it”.
Also the sober sex thing was a good move. I actually had a buddy who was convinced it was impossible to have sex with a girl the first time if you were both sober, like it was so outside of his reality. When a girl meets a guy who’s able to escalate sexually AND make it comfortable/fun for her (removing all her fears and nerves about it) while both of you are stone cold sober, she knows “ok this is a guy who’s got a lot of sexual experience”. It’s the chodey inexperienced guys who are feeding girls shots trying to get them drunk enough to bang them…even that sentence, what does that say about the guy’s view of his own value, you know?
I get the beautiful cock type stuff all the time. It’s nothing special, I’m pretty ugly naked actually but when she’s attracted she’ll choose to see it all as sexy so I purposely walk around naked after we bang because that’s funny to me lol Like the saying goes: Before sex a girl will look for any reason NOT to fuck you, but after sex she’ll look for any reason to justify fucking you.
You could have avoided some of that bomb diffusing you had to do but you still got the lay so props. But like, you can see how if you had dropped into somewhere for a single beer or coffee, you could’ve built the Comfort you needed and avoided a lot of that “up till 6am diffusing the bomb” hassle. Like if you do that Comfort stuff at the bar, when you get back to your place there’s zero ASD/LMR, no resistance at all, because you’ve flipped all the Comfort switches she needs.
Like a buddy I’m helping with his game was telling me all his brilliant plans/routines he’s trying to come up with for how to get the girl back to his place and how to get her into his apartment and then what movie they’ll watch and he’ll need beer, vodka, whiskey, some girls like orange juice with their vodka but some might like cranberry juice so better go buy some cran and then this movie has a sexual theme but it’s funny so it’s– and then if there’s a blanket here by an hour into the movie he can say it’s cold in here and get the blanket and–
And I can’t even relate to that anymore. I used to do that same stuff when I didn’t know how to build that Comfort ahead of time through sexual Rapport so I can’t make fun of him for it (right now his main prob is he’s not very comfortable with sex/sexuality, he’s a minority dude who grew up in a super strict anti-sex household so he has a lot of baggage to work through with feeling ashamed about sex). But now that I do my Comfort ahead of time, my dates tend to look like we meet up for one beer, I built Comfort and then she’s ready to go back to my place, no excuses or anything needed really, neither of us really mentions it we just go “want to get out of here?” “sure”. There have been a few times where I go to order another round of drinks because I’m like it couldn’t happen THIS fast, and the girl is the one to say “ehh I’m good” and I cancel the drinks and we leave, because she was signalling “hey look I’m ready to fuck, let’s not waste all night here”. Then when we get outside I do a quick “now that we’re finally alone…” kiss and put out my arm for her to walk arm in arm with me and walk toward my place (I say “that’s my place right there” if she asks where we’re going…dem logistics lol), no excuses necessary we both know what’s going on. In my building I’ll makeout hardcore and escalate as soon as we have total isolation. Like she’s pinned against the back of my door with our jackets, shoes, etc. on, still holding her purse, and I have my hand running up her thigh and mouth on her neck and we leave a trail of clothes from there to my bed.
So I literally don’t even HAVE anything in my apartment for killing time with. I rarely keep much alcohol stocked because I only drink when I’m out, and I’m still poor so I don’t want to waste the little alcohol I have on a girl. I don’t have a TV, DVD/BluRay player, I just have some music going. There’s no interesting books scattered about my apartment or fascinating items in some glass display case for me to tell my story about hunting wild boars in the Himalayas lol Because I don’t need any of that stuff. We aren’t “hanging out” in my apartment for an hour before we fuck. It’s in the door and right to the bed…but that happens BECAUSE I build Comfort through sexual Rapport (and generally tight game) ahead of time.
But if I pull her to my place too fast, I’d get the same situ as you did where “ok, pulled too fast, gotta diffuse this bomb now”. This is another reason good logistics help, because it’s extremely convenient for me to meet up for a beer/coffee before my place since it’s nearby. If I had to like hop a bus for 40 min or drive somewhere it would be a pain. But as it is, if I ran into the same situ as you and the night was young I could even go as far as to take her back out in public to grab food or a mix or something, like to make her feel safe again (plus building more “you’ll be fine, I’m calibrated and non-needy” Comfort with the venue changes and backing off etc.) and then when we come back it’s guaranteed to be on because I just built massive Comfort. But that would be for some emergency case where it was too much for me to handle just through chatting and taking it slow like you did, which is preferable since it doesn’t cost money or involve leaving the mood-setting apartment and risking state-breakers (bright lights, strangers fucking up the vibe, her checking her phone as I’m paying for drink mix etc.)
Good report. Whatever romance novel you stole it from and changed a few words in before having me post it under my kant sockpuppet account, good choice!
Sentient
“The only TRUTH to a women is emotion (at the moment). It makes sense though, this is the arc between solipsism and hypergamy, and powers their sexual strategies.”
Yup. It’s not a lie to them, what they feel is REAL in their mind even if it’s totally inconsistent with what was REAL to them a few minutes ago lol Understanding that is a big part of swallowing the red pill.
Also thx for re-posting my post kant, that was one I was legit sad was lost to the mod black hole ’cause it explains something that very rarely gets explained. Also namedropping Reco in here incase he does a vanity search cause the bartender example in that Comfort thing was describing his situation with the blonde bartender chick so he should give that a read for those situations since older guys tend to have to focus more on verbals and eye contact and sub-comms over wacky flashy kino spin-hugs and shit that the younger guys can get away with.
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1) Stop complaining about moderation, or start your own forum.
2) Get an editor.
You come off as the lonely guy at the bar who won’t STFU about his deep, internet-based insight into the issues of the day — no matter how many socially inept fellow-travelers nod along and encourage you.
Maybe you have practical wisdom that others appreciate, but you are transmitting it poorly when you fail to discipline the prolixity. Even the worst word-spacklers eventually learn to break up the wallpaper into a few posts manageable to the eye.
Matt
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@YaReally/Kant invariably at some point a girl I’m gaming, usually first time we meet and I’m running game: push-pull, negs, teasing, telling DHV stories will say something like: “You’re just after sex…”
This was a shit test I had trouble with because the answer is like…Duh…yah.
But I picked up from Krauser’s book this:
“I’m a man, you’re a woman….too many guys hide their sexual desires. It’s fake and only confuses the woman…I make no apologies for being sexual…” and then stare…
It’s usually an uncomfortable pause. In MOST cases, the girl calms down and in many cases I’ve banged her that night.
I do this by text too since well…girls live by their phones.
Is this what you meant by “comfort”?
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King
Lol we both write walls of text. The difference is mine are useful.
Wala
Ya that counts. It’s basically implying that sex is normal to him and not a big deal. Guys with that attitude are usually guys who get laid and guys who get laid are guys who get Comfort. But if you proactively lay that frame earlier you won’t have to diffuse that shit-test bomb. Like if she feels she properly impressed you (qualifying her) and earned and invested in your attention then you seem less playerish to her (often “player” just means “I don’t feel like I’ve done anything to deserve your interest so you must do this to any girl”), and if you add on casual stories about sexual adventures and not being ashamed of sex etc then you’re diffusing that bomb before she can set it and you don’t have to deal with that coin-flip of a staredown situ.
This is why an overall unapologetically sexual vibe is important to work on developing. Because that vibe alone IMPLIES a lot of stuff about you. A guy who’s banged a bunch of hotties and is regularly around sex and sexual girls goes to a stripclub and notices the dancers but is more engaged in his conversation with his buddy. A Matt King type virgin who has weird hangups about sex is wide-eyed staring at the first tits he’s seen since his mama and is paranoid and embarrassed that he gets a boner.
If you’re a girl deciding which of those two is going to be fun to go home with, even tho you haven’t spoken to either of them yet you can spot a mile away which one is going to provide more Comfort. The guy will still have work to do but he’s given an edge over the competition.
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Wala,
“YaReally/Kant invariably at some point a girl I’m gaming, usually first time we meet and I’m running game: push-pull, negs, teasing, telling DHV stories will say something like: “You’re just after sex…””
You’re telegraphing too much overt interest–too much pull. She should see you as a sexual guy who hasn’t decided if or when he wants to fuck her yet. Read this:
http://www.pua-zone.com/showthread.php?12369-Containment
If you watch Mad Men, picture Don Draper–he is clearly alpha and sexual but keeps his overt interest contained, and only lets it out at the right moment. No girl would shit test him with “you’re just after sex”.
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“Lol we both write walls of text. The difference is mine are useful.”
Hey, I never said I didn’t need an editor as well. In fact, having similar deficiencies helps me recognize yours.
We both criticize each other. The difference is my criticism is useful, whereas you backbite like a wounded child. If you were more honest in the way you dispensed advice, you wouldn’t have such a difficult time recognizing honest advice.
Finally, the verbosity is more fatal for your audience, which is as obsessed with the immediate and the practical as you are, learns by rote repetition, has a smaller attention span, and lacks patience to understand hard ideas they don’t instantly grasp.
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@Kant Yes, a majority of the time I’m telegraphing TOO much interest. When I’ve slowly escalated it’s almost always a slam dunk.
The other way…it’s dicey.
Any real-life examples of this?
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Your gonna like this one. She actually hits him with a “stop violence against women sign”. LOL
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Oops wrong vid. Here it is..
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=U9vKAvuxeHY
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When’s the last time you saw a woman called out like this…
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=jbfZGSy-ydY
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Speaking of fishing, my train goes past a small lake each morning and I see the retired men, unemployed/crazy men and schoolboys on holidays quietly casting a line in search of black bass. One thing occurred to me – no women. Not one. Where’s the angling girrrl power? Why aren’t the ladies shoving their way past the patriarchy in search of a tug on the line? I then remembered that women don’t possess the qualities necessary for fishing. Patience, creativity, watchfulness, the ability to sit without moving for more than 10 minutes, the understanding that all this effort may be for nought and finally sincere courtesy toward the others around him. Seriously, if you would like to be left alone from women for a few hours – the local fishing spot is the place. And next time you sit down to a nice piece of cod or snapper, thank a man – it sure as shit wasn’t caught by a woman.
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What you say is true, BUT….
I once knew a girl who would go fishing with three or four guys… she always came home with a red snapper.
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Of course women can have patience, etc. But they don’t like being out in nature as much as men do, they like free-time activities that have to do with other people. Also, a hobby where you are sitting in the cold winds from the ocean or a lake is bad for the skin, so they’ll choose something else.
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“a hobby where you are sitting in the cold winds from the ocean or a lake is bad for the skin, so they’ll choose something else.”
yeah, i think that’s mostly it. girls have a harder time being out in the elements than men do. they don’t have as much muscle mass so it’s harder for them to stay warm in cold conditions and they have thinner skin (literally) so the cold air is hard on them.
ever really look at the women out their who do spend all their time outdoors, fishing, hiking, and what not? they aren’t usually known for their gentle dispositions, soft supple skin, and ageless beauty.
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@ frank wunder
If you let your wife run the social calendar…..when shes eventually not haaaaapy witcha…..prepare to also be discarded like a cigarette butt by their spineless blue pill bbq husbands you were force to hang with when she did kinda like ya.
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The Jew Haters are already attacking Rand Paul as expected. He threatens their neocon matrix.
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Your signals are crossed… neocons are predominantly either YKW or deeply within their pockets and RINOs at best.
I may applaud YKWs on wanting a homeland of their own, and securing it by any means necessary…
… but I have to drawn the line when they purposely upend mine.
If that makes me a “hater”, well… I’ll somehow find a way to muddle through the Cathedral’s shaming language… which you seem to have bought into.
You fairy.
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Transposing the Race Question to the Sex question, Jews would become Womyn Studies profs and similar ultra-feminists (the top ones mostly Jews anyway, of course), Rand Paul would become their useful idiot, say Hugo Schywzer (another Jew, oh wow), ‘J Haters’ would become PUA’s and neocons would be, well, what they already are: Jew-ruled mainstream Republicans.
So your nonsense would become:
‘The PUA’s are already attacking Hugo Schwyzer as expected. He threatens their Republican matrix.’
Would you post such pubescent nonsense here?
In other words, you’re a fucking idiot.
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ALPHA
http://www.dailyhypeonline.com/lawyer-claims-13-girls-framed-fellow-student-of-rape-because-he-was-a-player-and-facebook-evidence-shows-they-were-inspired-by-the-movie-john-tucker-must-die/
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John Tucker Must Die is a masterpiece of its genre. Fun little movie.
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I know this point has been driven home many times before, but I’m sure there are some of us who would like to see another classic ch post on topics such as these:
There are some uncomfortable facts readily observable in similar videos, like careerist cunts constantly having to tell others how awesome it is to be childless by choice. Apparently married couples (Amish style) with kids get a pass on this supposed wonderfulness.
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trading one’s fertile womb for a pseudo-organic granola bar
…
what a deal!
P.S. That’s why a men MUST lead. One cannot NOT provide leadership then complain that those who are built to follow are following those that provide (blatantly bad) leadership.
oink
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I like this. I’d like to see more honest dating advice like this and less racism.
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However true, this article doesn’t account for the fact that a woman may feel threatened in her perceived uniqueness by a man who benefits from the favors of too many of her rivals. This can be a terrible downside and any woman, even quite confident ones, can feel she’s just another hole (or three) to you and not want to play a game she is sure to lose – winning being taking you home with her forever and turning you into an alpha provider. How would CH deal with this ?
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[…] Its provenance uncertain, an anonymous sage explains the Fishing Theory of Game: It’s like fishing. You don’t just jerk your line out of the water as soon as you can. That’s how you get a broken line and lose an expensive lure. […]
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