How do you game a girl who has received twenty solicitations for sex and fifty compliments on her beauty all before 11AM? This is the problem that men face in the electronic ego validation age, when Tinder and Facebook and sundry dating websites serve as mediums for the uninterrupted fluffing, however superficial, of the tumescent self-perceptions of every halfway bangable girl with an internet connection or a mobile data plan.
This is no minor obstacle to love and romance. The ego is the enemy of intimacy, and female egos that have been inflated to the bursting point are a neural (and neurotic) bunker between you and a girl’s heart. Evidence of this mass female ego inflation comes directly from men’s testimonials and indirectly from data showing trends in how couples meet.
Every inception source of romance is down over the past 70 years except for bars and online. What happens in bars and online that doesn’t happen in the normal course of events when couples meet through the more traditional routes? That’s right: Intense, relentless, and usually charmless come-ons by drunk and socially clumsy men, that pump girls full of themselves. We’ve entered the age of the narcissistically-charged woman who houses in the well-marbled fat of her skull ham a steroid-injected, Facebook-fed hamster spinning its distaff vessel’s place in the world as the center of existence.
The catalyst for this post was a question by reader Culum Struan, regarding a girl affecting a pose of boredom who wasn’t “biting” on his attempts to connect with her.
I never got through to her emotionally. Even my best stories barely got a mild emotional response – these are GOOD stories and I have a lot of practice. It was just flat. What do you do with these girls?
YaReally, responding, suggests putting the girl in the defensive crouch, qualifying herself to Culum.
Stack disqualifiers lol make fun of her basically. If she isn’t interested in your stories about yoursef then turn the tables and put the spotlight on her instead and put her on the defensive because she likes that more than she likes yapping about her own stories. Drop the stories and go for her emotional jugular and get her qualifying herself and thinking you’re a bit of an asshole but then a nice guy but then an asshole etc etc giving her an emotional rollercoaster ride.
Think of it like you’re entertaining a 5yo with a book but they’re not paying attention or don’t seem that into it. Instead of sticking with the book and it might be a great book that most kids love, calibrate to this kid and throw on an exciting movie instead. Or play a game with them. Engage them on a different level.
What Culum describes — girls who seem impregnable to emotional engagement — is a problem that grows in proportion to the amount of ego validation girls are rewarded with online. The more a girl has her ego stroked by a phalanx of online dating desperadoes, the less she’ll feel the urge or the need to devote her full attention to any individual man unlucky enough to take her on a real world date. What results is a growing brotherhood of men finding they share experiences dealing with selfish, classless American women of mediocre appearance who act like the stereotype of haughty swimsuit models. It’s gotten so bad that actual swimsuit models are proving to be more pleasing dates for men with the balls to ask them out.
Since social media ego validation isn’t leaving us anytime soon, a man must learn the skills that will help him master the polluted dating market moonscape. YaReally continues in this vein, linking to a Mystery seminar video and explaining the concept of “conversational stacking” as a technique designed specifically to deal with egotistic, ADHD, mortally validated girls.
Try stacking it to increase her obsession, 3:57 in this vid.
For anyone who’s checked out the Julien PIMP vids I’ve linked about devalidation stacking, this is the multiple threading concept juliens shit is based on. It’s basically this concept but combined with negs/devalidation. Strongest chick-crack I’ve ever seen, makes the girl obsessed with qualifying herself and correcting your impression of her. Planning to do a write up about it in depth sometime. It’s the first legit evolution of classic MM to adopt it to the social media over-validation/over-entitlement era that I’ve seen.
The value of devalidation in the age of ego validated chicks cannot be overstated. To penetrate a girl’s Tinder-spackled ego fortress, you must first show an active disinterest in her world, and one powerful method to accomplish that attitudinal cue is the veering, shallow, self-amusing, multi-threaded conversation style. As Culum says,
So if I understand right – stacking and changing conversational threads (MM style) is good because it shows lower investment on your part plus creates conversational tension the girl will want to resolve. Julien’s devalidation basically puts the girl into a “box” and that creates tension that the girl will want to resolve by climbing out of the box (hence why we make statements about her and not ask questions). But if you combine the two, you multiply the effect of both strategies – is that it?
Recall the formulation “statement-statement-question“. This is the foundation you want to begin your career in active seduction. (Active seduction simply means you, as a man, aim to have choice in the women you date, rather than drearily accept the fate of the majority of beta males who take what they can get, which is usually an overweight hausfrau.)
Ultimately, the best weapon against internet-abetted female ego validation is LOWER MALE INVESTMENT. If a man must deal with a woman’s hypergonadal ego, (and consequently her revved-up hypergamous impulse), his first order of business must be neutralizing the influence and unclogging the romance-blockage of her ego. This, in practice, means FLIPPING THE SEDUCTION SCRIPT as soon as possible, and creating the perception that you are the chased and she is the chaser. Tactics that work include:
– refraining from asking a girl too many questions,
– skipping around topics of conversation (less investment in any one topic signals that you aren’t much interested in her input, and aren’t seeking her approval),
– disqualifying her as a romantic prospect, and
– treating her with amused mastery, as if she’s a precocious nuisance you could take or leave.
Once you have the girl hooked, you can switch gears and start to qualify her as a possible sex interest and drive for deeper rapport by asking her more open-ended leading questions with sexual undertones.
This isn’t your Greatest Generation’s dating market. Prairie farm ladies aren’t waiting at home for a battle-weary man to rescue them from spinsterhood. Women aren’t effusively grateful to men for giving them the opportunity to exit the singles market. The sexual market has, in sum, devolved from a K-selected one to an r-selected one, and all that goes with such a cataclysmic change. The era of High Male Investment and Low Male Sexiness courtship signaling — poems and flowers and punctuality and appeasing her parents and stressing your financial stability and lavishing her with promises of eternal devotion — is OVER. Or, at least, its effectiveness greatly attenuated. We are now in the era of Low Male Investment and High Male Sexiness, or altered perceptions thereof.
What economically self-sufficient and Pill-freed women want now is a man who can make them FEEL again, and that means, in essence, giving women back the opportunity to do what they used to do without prompting: Making an effort to please men.
A woman is lost, adrift on a murky ocean of her undifferentiated emotions, when she’s robbed of that special female duty to please men. Game — the art and science of learned charisma — can give back to women that which massive social changes and the sexual revolution have wrested from them. Game can save women’s souls.