A Proper Introduction

A reader whose handle I forgot asks,

I thought you might have a post about this or would have some good suggestions: you know when you’re in a big group of new people and they have a “introduce yourself” for everyone–and to say “one thing that is interesting about you”. What’s some good ideas that are appropriate but somewhat interesting for the ladies in the group? Something serious, something funny, joking etc

Your question appears to imply a formal setting, like a work retreat or a school function or an AA meeting. Am I right? Because if it’s a casual venue, like a bar, where one girl, the social butterfly, is rushing around trying to get everyone to meet each other, then the range of your workable responses would be much wider.

If it’s a casual context, may the charismatic jerkboy force be with you:

“My name is Santa Claus. Stop asking lame questions or you’re getting a lump of coal this year.”

If it’s more formal:

“Hi, I’m [Neptune’s Uni-Pronged Trident]. Something interesting about me…. I sleep eight hours a night.”

This is a form of self-disqualification, and in the right circumstances (such as this one), it can be a DHV — demonstration of higher value — to 1) answer a serious question with a glib reply and 2) self-deprecate when it is obvious that you don’t really mean it.

This is far from the only way to parlay a contrived social situation to your personal SMV advantage. For example,

“Hi, I’m [Loki’s Hammer Envy]. Something interesting about me… I tend to get into a little more trouble than it’s worth.”

The implication that you’re a badboy should be plenty to get the after-hours conversational ball rolling with any women in attendance.