Padawan125 needs the assistance of the CH readership on no less a problem than salvation of his brother’s soul.
CH and readers, need your help here. I always find the BOTM [beta of the month] stories hilarious. However, it’s not hilarious when your own brother deserves his own BOTM story. I don’t know how to shake him out of his beta-ness and I need help.
My brother has been married for 5 years with kids. I have always questioned his decisions and wanting to marry her but have been “supportive”…as in keeping my opinions to myself. Although recently, his wife pushed me over the edge. It was recently revealed that she has been cheating on him for 2+ years. The texts that she sent her lover was revealed to my entire family. She has no respect for my brother and openly despises him. Even admitting in text that she couldn’t divorce him yet because she wanted to wait to get more money out the deal. Her cheating even brings into question the true paternity of his youngest child.
When this was all revealed my brother approached me for help in getting a divorce. Somehow, less than three months later, he changed his mind and is now back with his wife. Nothing that I do or say has swayed his decision. I have tried the following approaches:
–Shamed him for not being a man, lacking balls, and allowing his wife to have all power and how his wife has openly insulted him in front of everyone.
–Tried to bribe him by telling him to come live with me, quit work, and I would support him until his mind was back on track.
–Told him how accepting her back was him saying to her and everyone that it is ok for people to treat him with disrespect.
–It sets a bad example for his kids showing them that they have a weak father.
–etc, etc, etcI cannot even look at my brother anymore and want nothing to do with him or his wife. My parents are urging me to “support him and his decisions” because “life is too short.” I am sick to my stomach and want to repeatedly punch him in the face to wake him up.
What do I do here? I want to believe that he is not a lost cause and there is something that I can do to help him grow a pair. Do I continue to ignore him and focus on my own life? I don’t want to lose my brother, but at the same time I cannot bring myself to interact with him.
“Life is too short”, like its cousin aphorism “live and let live”, are the ritardando notes of the powerless feeb. Yes, life is too short…. to live under the heel of a bitchy cheating whore wife.
Unfortunately, Padawan125, there is no easy solution to your brother’s crisis of the id. He is in that sad masochistic zone that all men who feel like they have no options in the mate market occupy, nursing the dying embers of his self-worth. Impenetrable layers of misery rationalization bunkers protect his bruised ego, and there isn’t much psychology of persuasion magic that’ll bust through.
Except for one thing…
The love of another woman.
Or at least her welcoming vagina.
Spend some time on the town with your brother (minus the wife of course). Insinuate the teachings of Game into your conversation. Get him flirting with any woman at least as attractive as his wife. If you feel the urgency of your brother’s situation demands rule-bending, then invite (or pay off) a cute pivot to accompany both of you on a night out. Be sure to allay your brother’s beta-reflex concerns and inform him that your girl guest is your “friend”. What he doesn’t know is that you instructed your friend to shamelessly flirt with him.
The strategy is to get your brother believing in his sexual market worth again. If he senses that other women are a real possibility, then those ego bunkers will start to crumble, and he’ll slowly pull away from his shrike wife. If he can get a kiss close with a cutie on one of those “bros’ nights out”, his nuptial breakaway is practically assured.
Godspeed, because you are doing the Lord’s work. “which lord?” Come now, let’s not spoil the moment with nagging technicalities.