The “winner” of the 2015 Punchable Shitlib Face Tournament will be the peabody puffboy who emerges victorious from the Championship Bout between Dylan Matthews and Pajamaboy (née Ethan (((Krupp)))).
Matthews handily dispatched McKay Coppins in the preliminary finals bout, as voters felt he had the face more likely to inspire a fusillade of knuckle sandwiches. On to the match!
Ladies and gentlemen…. in the far left corner…. Dyyyyyyyyyyylan Maaaaaaaattheeeeeeeeeewwwws.
And in the far, far left corner…. Paaaaaaaaaaaaajamabooooooooooooooy!
Matthews “leans in” to take a hit from a blood and soil patriot….
Pajamaboy offers both cheeks for back-handed slaps from feminists who secretly despise his male genus….
Matthews taunts the crowd, asking them if they have the stones to wipe the smug off his face…
Pajamaboy raises the stakes, sticking a pinky out form his mug of cocoa and wagging it at the balled fists of a phalanx of shitlord spectators…
Matthews does that Morpheus “bring it” hand as he brags about his high verbal IQ and miserable math skills….
Pajamaboy announces he’s “strapped on” and ready to “Lamaze the poz”…
this is gonna go down to the wire, folks!