Commenter quixotic, in the middle of a field report about meeting a girl in a phone store, mentioned an interesting aspect of pickup that another reader, Putin, refers to as “the show”.
The weirdest part was feeling every man and women in the store watching me or trying to listen to us. They could see that smirk on me, the way she constantly giggled and flipped her hair, the way she got a little nervous at times, her female co-worker and her did that thing where girls look at each other for a second to say “are you seeing this?” “yes!” when they thought I wasn’t looking and it all went like fucking clockwork. Thank you for all you have taught me CH.
This is an under-appreciated facet of public flirting that a few men feed on, but most men find daunting. Approach anxiety isn’t just fear of how a woman will react to being hit on; it’s also fear of how onlookers will react. Will they laugh? Point and whisper among themselves? The thought of a public shaming can drive many a man to eject from potential love scenarios that he otherwise would have followed through on if the only participants were himself and the girl.
Quixotic sounds like the type of man who is energized by The Show. Many extroverts, naturals, politicians, and salesmen are like this. The approval of the crowd/coworkers motivates almost as much as the approval of the woman/customer who inspires the lustful/avaricious approach.
These men are in the minority. Most (White) men are introverts, who shudder thinking about all the ways The Show can go wrong for them. A select few truly relish the Klieg lights. Most would rather perform their seduction art in a secluded location, away from the heat of audience expectation.
My advice to introverts trying to hurdle the mental stumbling block of The Show on the way to a public romantic flirtation is to continually remind themselves that people are watching not out of judgment, but envy. Envy that they don’t have the balls to do what you’re doing. Think that, and you’ll feel your…heart… stiffen for battle. Even if the pickup goes south, you’ll have the pride of knowing you busted a move while The Show watched immobile from the sidelines.