Chateau Heartiste

What To Say When A Girl Asks If You’re Seeing Anyone Else

Will asks for game advice,

If a girl asks if you’re consistently seeing anyone else right now…isn’t that showing interests that they want to be in an LTR and that they want you all to their self.

I’m trying to just be chill with this girl and have good inner game, but literally this same thing keeps happening with her and about 4 other girls in the past… The girl will ask “are you sleeping with other girls” or “how many girls” etc etc. and then usually they will fall off the map after a month or 2 or I’ll get the ultimatum.

Basically, When is it not a shit test?

This is a very common scenario, and it’s been covered extensively at Le Chateau. Check the archives.

Very briefly, reply, “I’m dating around until I find a girl that I click with.” If she presses for clarification, tell her to slow down and enjoy your moments together.

This serves two purposes. One, it sidesteps the trap of beta male defensiveness. Two, it burnishes your “preselected by other women” credentials. Don’t say you aren’t dating anyone else – that risks leaving an impression of incel haplessness – and don’t say you’re drowning in women, which sounds try-hard and off-putting if she’s interested in something serious with you (unless you say it with a disarming self-aware faux braggadocio). Keep it vague and ambiguous, and let her fill in the details of your love life (her rationalization hamster will gladly oblige).

If a girl asks you this type of question after dating for a few months, it’s not a shit test. It’s a sincere effort on her part to coax signs of commitment from you, and make the relationship exclusive. In that context, it’s better to tell her she’s the only girl you’re currently seeing, or that you’re ready for her to be the only girl you’re with, if you want a relationship as much as she does.