You ever get stuck on a really awful date and wondered what to do about it? This jerklord decided the best defense is to be really offensive. With a little encouragement from his mates, he pulled out all the tricks in the Asshole’s Guide to Making Women Horny (Or Sorry They Ever Took You for a Beta Pushover). Follow the story from top to bottom, and keep an eye out in one of the videos for the exact second our ho-tagonist experiences a pleasant zap in her taco trap.
Were you paying attention? Right after the hair tussle, she smiled a bit and a momentary look of…intrigue… swept across her face. THAT was the turning point, when she changed from uninterested rude bitch with her face in her phone to curious rude bitch with her face out of her phone and looking at this man with the minerals to do what he just did.
When a girl is this cunty on a date — literally more interested in her 6 inch phone screen than in you — there are three options available to you that at least salvage your dignity if not help you savage her vagina.
- Call her out. This isn’t the most charming or ZFG option, but it is better than sitting there and suffering her rudeness like a chump. “Are you gonna be a rude bitch all night, or just during appetizers?” The meet-to-lay ratio on this tactic won’t be great, but the meet-to-self-respect ratio is through the roof. And some girls WILL react positively to being called the fuck out for extreme bitchitude.
- Leave. Similar to #1, but without the risk of sounding butthurt. You just get up and go, no words exchanged, no excuses offered. Little chance of a lay with this move, but you’ll have tremendous satisfaction as you walk out knowing you left her in a state of confusion and Hillary-voting bitterness.
- Amp the Asshole. What this guy did here. This is my preferred method, but be careful not to overdo it. Once you unleash your Inner Jerkboy, it’s hard to keep him from having the run of the place. This is because you’ll immediately notice the powerful effect it has on girls, and you’ll also notice how good it feels to let your Jerk Flag fly. It will raise your T levels and that’s a drug no man can resist mainlining.
The Beta Male option — the one 99% of men would choose in similar circumstances — is to sit there and force weak-ass supplicating banter hoping she’ll suddenly find you more interesting than her phone. Never happens, and her opinion of you (already in the basement) will dive even lower. Worse, some men will buy such a girl more drinks, figuring (wrongly) that if Resource Provider Toolbag Game isn’t working, that means she just needs more of it.
“But, CH…”, some readers will rebut, “…she left! His jerkboy game didn’t work!”
Ah, young pantywad, much to learn you have. After the fourth jerkboy prank (the feet on the table) it became clear to her that he was fucking around and not in the least considering her anymore as a romantic prospect. The key with Jerkboy Game is that a little goes a long way. The hair tussle and the fork grab were sufficient assholery to spark a nascent arousal in her. Had he then settled into a commanding frame, (instead of continuing with his asshole clown frame), and segued into a better rapport by saying something like, “now that I have your attention, we can get down to the serious business of making fun of you”, he stood a chance at making something of this date.
Not a big chance, but a better chance than what he had going in, which was nothing. A girl engrossed with her phone while on a date with you is already lost. May as well throw beta politesse to the wind and summon the Titans of Testicles to grant you the power of a thousand DGAF jerkboy warrior-poets.