If you’re a man over 30, you have something to look forward to as you prepare to navigate the post-nightclub scene sexual market: the gradual accretion of two powerful male attractiveness traits.
- Social status
- ZFG (zero fucks given, aka outcome independence)
Social status accumulates over decades for a man, because his social worth is tied less to his youthful looks than to his connections, social savvy, experiences, business acumen, and character. (A woman’s social status has two peaks: one, higher, peak when she is at her most attractive – early 20s – and a second peak when she becomes a mother and family caretaker.)
A man’s social status is loin of the realm in the mate bazaar, easily bartered for fresh poonmeat. Women are irresistibly attracted to men who are well-regarded by lots of admirers or who have lots of friends and supporters they can lean on for favors. This is an evolutionarily adapted trait that helps women FMAC (find meet attract commit to) men who are capable of MASS ACQUISITION of material resources to bring to the raising of their children. Social status is the man who walks into a party and everyone’s eyes light up with anticipation and joy. Women notice this about a man, and they react reflexively to the spectacle his presence incites.
Generally, older men will have more social status than younger men. It’s not a guarantee, but it is the way to bet.
ZFG (aka self-possession) also accumulates with a man’s age. While it’s theoretically possible to regress from zero fucks given (zfg) to numerous fucks given as one gets older, it’s very uncommon. There are two reasons for this: one, a man’s self-confidence tends to grow along with his wealth, accomplishments, bedroom experience, and social skills. Self-confidence relaxes the ego, granting it a flexibility that fortifies it against minor insults that then are easily brushed-off by the man who is secure in himself. Insecure, low self-esteem men don’t usually have the requisite ZFG to arouse women, and it shows in their quickness to anger at the slightest provocation or in their transparent, sour grapes butthurt when a woman slips them the sass.
Two, physiological age-related changes in the male brain sweep it clean of over-sensitivities. Remember when you were a teenager, how one throwaway affront could send you into a frenzy of self-examination and/or rageful retribution? You’d mull over that little calumny as if it were a final judgment handed up by Lucifer himself. You could call this inner frame, IFG: Infinity Fucks Given. It’s painful, but its hold over your psyche greatly loosens after high school, though it still continues through the 20s, typically in the form of anguished mental replays of first dates that went south or of ambiguous flirtations by cute girls playing hard to get.
Once a man passes 30, it’s almost magical how suddenly IFG will dissipate into a weak facsimile of its former emotional grip. Something about aging into a grown man with real responsibilities and a collected history of romantic failures and successes buffers him against myriad slights by other men and by opaque women. You could say it’s a dullness permeating the aging brain that fortuitously protects it from excruciating self-doubt, but I think instead it’s the opposite: a heightened awareness of the meaninglessness of most people’s opinions, especially opinions on the nature of one’s character or desirability.
So these two developments — the gain of social status and ZFG — are advantages that older men enjoy in the quest for pussy. And they are big advantages, maybe the biggest. It would be unwise to scoff at the notion of their pull over women. A socially prominent man who is amused by women’s shit tests and unfazed by men’s challenges is akin to a beautiful feminine woman in the fullness of youthful fertility. He is a commodity that women will fight each other to claim as their own.
You’ll notice I didn’t include “money” in the traits that specifically benefit older men in the sexual market. That’s for a good reason. In my observation of the players I’ve known, there’s really not a lot of difference between making 40K/yr and 100K/yr as an influencing factor on women’s attraction. About the only difference there could be is one of self-confidence; men who make more tend to project more swagger and that’s what women find attractive, not the money per se.
Money itself doesn’t really start to affect a man’s SMV until it brushes with the SES stratosphere. If you have a million in the bank and pull a solid six figure income, allowing you to tool around in exotic sports cars, then yes women will magically gravitate into your orbit. But few men under 60 reach that kind of wealth, so it’s largely a hypothetical SMV boost that isn’t necessary to attract and bed cute girls.