Chateau Heartiste

Talking To Children Is Good Practice For Talking To Women

We lords of love at Le Chateau have explored and endorsed the theme of improving one’s seduction skills through the use of children’s games and phrases. Women, especially the prime nubility hotties, are more like children than they are like men. A despicably un-PC truth, but true nonetheless.

There’s another way the behavior of children holds the key to successfully flirting with grown women. The conversation style that elicits peals of joy from children is pretty similar to the conversation style that elicits squeals of arousal from women.

Allow me. When you talk to a kid, they will react in one of two ways: escalating excitement, or boredom. Kids don’t have a “neutral listening gear” like adult men do. When a kid is excited, he’ll show it. When he’s bored, ditto. And there’s no faster way to bore a kid than indulging in long-winded, detail-oriented replies to the myriad questions with which kids love to bombard adults. It’s not that kids don’t want answers to their burning questions; it’s that they don’t want dry answers that aren’t painted with the brute force rhetoric of the primary colors.

Kids expect short answers because kids have underdeveloped attention spans and a hunger for amusement. Just like women. Therefore, kids, (just like women), will zone out on long explanations. And they will positively engage with pithy, sarcastic jibes that merely brush with a sufficient answer to the questions.

For example, say a child asks you about something unique you’re wearing. The beta male reply would be to dive into a lengthy history behind the artifact which has momentarily caught the child’s eye, boring him to an exasperated facial expression with an answer that might surely be thorough and enlightening but not fun at all. The alpha male reply would be something shorter, sweeter, far more dramatic, and only superficially aligned with the real provenance of the artifact. So instead of the straight answer to the child’s question, the savvy man answer would be something like, “A bullfighter gave it to me as a gift.” Which is a delightfully heart-racing, child- and woman-amusing shorthand for “I found it in a Spanish alley next to a cafe purportedly owned by the mother of a famous bullfighter.”

The drive-by conversational style that wows children is equally effective on the limbic nodes of women’s hindbrains. If you can keep a child’s happily rapt attention, you can do the same to women. Practice, practice, practice.

Related: Owning a dog is training for owning a woman.