One Not-So-Weird Trick To Get Past Approach Anxiety

Chateau archives contain limitless wisdom, including the idea that hitting on girls while you’re battling a hangover can do wonders for your pickup success. There’s a related personal observation which I want to share with the assembled. Dressing like a slob and stinking of barn animals is an oddly effective means of hurdling chronic approach anxiety.

Very few men don’t feel at least a little anxiety in the moment between seeing a cute girl and thinking over how he’ll introduce himself. (We call those men lacking any approach anxiety, “psychopaths”. Or, “blacks”.) Obviously, some men will be more anxious than others. For these sufferers, a mental or behavioral short circuit that bypasses their anxiety modules can mean the difference between intractable incel and endless samplings from the poon poon platter.

The based brain trick works like this: Dress slovenly before going out. I’m talking white tube socks and sandals, jorts, and a ratty t-shirt with holes in the pits. Top with greasy hair. Talk to girls with flirtatious intent, making no sincere feint toward excusing your disheveled appearance. As on any day when you approach numerous girls, you’ll likely experience some female skepticism*. But unlike other times, you’ll have a scapegoat to blame for their caution*. The grist of the cognitive gimmick is your psychological instinct to pin the blame for any romantic thwarting on the most obvious culprit: your slovenliness. The benefit of this ego detour is that it grooms you away from listening to that inner voice that loves to blame your strike-outs with women on your personality or looks.

If you have a conspicuous and largely superficial fault to help explain to yourself this or that stillborn pickup attempt, then you won’t feel approach anxiety as strongly as you would if you looked sharp and thus had only the less malleable aspects of your character to blame. Do this enough times, and the quieting of your anxiety will start to stick, becoming something of a permanent fixture of your resting emotional state.

Affected slovenliness makes approaching girls more like a fun game, with little on the line that can’t be answered with a wry smirk and a raised eyebrow… “Oh, it’s my pit-stained t-shirt, isn’t it? I always forget it isn’t a hit with the ladies.”

* It’s good to reframe women’s natural leverage in the sexual market — their sexual prerogative — into a less loaded term. So stop saying a girl “rejected” you. Say instead she was skeptical or cautious or tentative. Word choice matters. You can add sting or remove sting with the words you choose to describe your seduction adventures.

FYI the greatest variable influencing any one man’s success with women is his BOLDNESS.

CH Maxim #21: In the quest for romance, boldness overcomes a lot of personal flaws. Timidity swamps a lot of personal virtues.