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How To Coax The Inner Confidence That Ladies Crave

August 4, 2016 by CH

A few readers have asked, if male confidence is so crucial to sub-cortically triggering arousal in women, how does a habitually low-confidence man go about locating a hidden reservoir of confidence and ushering it to the surface for exhibition, where it may be appreciated by women?

This is a great question, and the answer is less automatically glib than you may think. Sure, getting good at some objective pursuit will boost your confidence major, and that will positively affect how women rank your capacity to deliver them id-shaped pleasure. But what do you do if you don’t get sufficiently good at your chosen pursuit to stand above other men doing the same? What if achievement in your pursuit isn’t particularly valued by women? What if circumstances conspire in the wrong way to diminish the impact of your achievements on distaff vajflap?

That’s where proactive self-confidence stimulation helps to improve your seek-to-meet and meet-to-meat ratio.

Feeling self-confident from nothing but an inner emanation of willed empowerment is accomplished via lots of mind-body feedback loops. Reader buildthewall16 visualizes one such positive feedback loop.

alpha body language and behavior summed up in one sentence:

act like you are the star of the #1 reality show of all time: cameras following you around and millions watching it because you are so damn interesting.

So many men stumble before they even give themselves a fighting chance because they flood their brains with negativity to the point where they’re more comfortable wallowing in self-pity than strutting in self-confidence. Mentally focusing to resist the comfort zone of inaction and instead lodging, piecemeal or wholesale, irrationally exuberant thoughts of prowess and domination WILL, over time, manifest in your demeanor around women. If you think highly of yourself, the women will come.

It’s a cognitive trick that pays dividends, and in the zero sum mating market even small dividends allocated on a temporary schedule can mean the difference between incel and in-belles.

This in mind (heh), here’s a brain hack I use to boost my self-perception into the strutosphere: I imagine I’ve committed horrible crimes. It’s not true (mostly) and the imagining could be used as evidence of a nascent psychopathy (mostly), but if I think it enough and think it during those times I’m out in public (as if hiding something from the world) it really does infuse me with a devilish invincibility and the sense that my temper could flare suddenly, and I often will discover well after the fact that a shit-eating grin had found its way across my thugmug.

Chicks somehow pick up on my glowing sinner state and react, as is the wont of the jerkboy-loving sex, agreeably to my sly guy eye jive. Try picturing yourself in the role of the (lady)killer on the run and see if it doesn’t work for you as well.

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Posted in Game, Psy Ops, Rules of Manhood | 68 Comments

68 Responses

  1. on August 4, 2016 at 2:13 pm Canadian Friend

    One time on a date the lady was a bit intimidating ( yes it happens, I never said I was a pick up artist nor 100% alpha ) but hours before I met her, another lady from a dating site had sent me half a dozen pics of her in sexy lingerie and one of her exposed boobs ( they were nice).

    I suddenly began thinking about that, the naked pics, the fact I had another lady waiting if it “failed ” with this date… I suddenly felt like a “bad boy” that I had this secret, this ” double life” – as it had happened only hours before – and then I began to feel more confident.

    LikeLiked by 1 person


    • on August 4, 2016 at 4:28 pm Captain Obvious

      > ‘I suddenly felt like a “bad boy”’ ——— That’s kinda the whole point of all this. If you FEEL it, then you ARE it.

      LikeLike


  2. on August 4, 2016 at 2:15 pm Matthew Smith

    Fake it till you make it really works. Game-h8rs, and people like that will scream, “ur not being urself, fake!!!@!@”, but emulating a guy who’s getting pussy daily will forge you into a guy who’ll be getting pussy daily.

    LikeLiked by 2 people


    • on August 4, 2016 at 2:39 pm Captain Obvious

      For Fathers Who Care, a background in Music or the Dramatic Arts can go a long way towards inculcating in a child the Cluster B shizzazle which is needed for succeeding at e.g. public speaking. “Peacocking” & “Opening/Engaging/Closing” is PRESENTATION and PERFORMANCE, and young kids can start to get a feel for that sort of thing by performing on a musical instrument or acting a part in a play.

      LikeLike


      • on August 4, 2016 at 2:46 pm Captain Obvious

        In mod, a lengthy laundry list of famous people who actually WORK at perfecting their Presentation & Performance in public affairs, and who start training their kids at it from a very young age.

        LikeLike


      • on August 4, 2016 at 4:32 pm Captain Obvious

        “But no one was more serious in following them than Washington. It is this purposefulness that gave his behavior such a copybook character. He was obsessed with having things in fashion and was fastidious about his appearance to the world. It was as if HE WERE ALWAYS ON STAGE, ACTING A PART.” https://books.google.com/books?id=L0qGWo_NGlAC&pg=PA315#v=onepage&f=false

        LikeLike


    • on August 6, 2016 at 7:39 am GCM

      “How does a habitually low-confidence man go about locating a hidden reservoir of confidence and ushering it to the surface for exhibition, where it may be appreciated by women?”

      They don’t. It’s false advertising. Low confidence men generally are born that way. Put on the lab coat…

      http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/science/science-news/5712472/Unshakeable-self-confidence-is-in-the-genes-claim-scientists.html

      LikeLike


  3. on August 4, 2016 at 2:18 pm Batman

    “meet to meat ratio”…lol. All kidding aside, always have pussy on the side. When you do, everything you say or do to any other chick is effortless, inducing a ZFG attitude that will be sniffed 3 states away.

    LikeLiked by 1 person


    • on August 4, 2016 at 5:56 pm Uh

      100%. Anyone who hasn’t done this, suspend disbelief and do it. Infidelity, alas, is a sure way to get rolling in more and more pussy.

      LikeLiked by 1 person


    • on August 4, 2016 at 8:03 pm OMG RACISM CALL THA POLICE!

      Two is one and one is none. According to Iceberg Slim.

      LikeLike


  4. on August 4, 2016 at 2:27 pm Chase

    I’d say just get on Tinder or whatever and like everyone. Start conversations with even the ugly ones, then go meet up with them. You don’t have to fuck them, just go for drinks.

    Pretty soon you’ll get to the point where it’s annoying that the uglier ones keep messaging you and wanting to get together (incidentally good incite into what it’s like for the cuties dealing with try-hard betas). This can’t help but breed the confidence of knowing that there are girls out there interested in you and that, no, you’re not desperate.

    Use that confidence to move from 3-5 to 5-7 and on up.

    Also, get off your ass and into the gym. Getting your t-count up in conjunction works wonders and your body will thank you too.

    LikeLiked by 1 person


    • on August 4, 2016 at 3:40 pm mendo

      Do you still need a Faceborg account to use Tinder?

      LikeLike


      • on August 8, 2016 at 5:26 pm Eric

        The Faceborg zuckborg

        LikeLike


    • on August 4, 2016 at 8:02 pm OMG RACISM CALL THA POLICE!

      Probably decent advice. When I’m out with a shy friend at a bar, I’ll try to get him to talk to the fat chicks before trying the hot chicks. It’s easier because the outcome doesn’t matter.

      LikeLike


  5. on August 4, 2016 at 2:31 pm wolfie65

    It really isn’t THAT difficult to learn some guitar chords.
    Which should make you stand out from most other men in most situations.

    LikeLike


    • on August 4, 2016 at 2:49 pm Captain Obvious

      w, I’m making that same point above, as far as Fathers who would like to raise their sons to be proper Sh!tlords – it sure does help if the child gets a background in something like music or drama so as to help curb the natural sense of hesitation & shyness & anxiety at the thought of public performance.

      LikeLiked by 1 person


  6. on August 4, 2016 at 2:31 pm Libertardian

    Another day, another shitlib demographic/electorate replacement plot.

    http://www.breitbart.com/2016-presidential-race/2016/08/04/hillary-plots-import-puerto-ricans-win-florida/

    LikeLiked by 1 person


    • on August 4, 2016 at 2:38 pm Libertardian

      Before it’s over, I’m guessing Hillary will shoot the works and scream promises of free McMansions, Teslas, yachts, Gulfstreams, what the fuck ever it takes, paid for by white male slave labor in KZs.

      LikeLiked by 1 person


    • on August 4, 2016 at 6:33 pm Johnny Redux

      Come November, how many here will seriously be making a decision on whether to GTFO of America, and head to Eastern Europe or South America (Argentina)? I am tired of fighting not just the Leftists (which are a 10-15%minority) but also the other 30-40% that obey the directives sent to them via the boob-tube, as well as the 25% of the cucktards in the GOP who are selfish, traitorous pricks. Maybe the hinterlands of the USA, to hunker down. Shits gonna get real come 2017.

      LikeLiked by 1 person


      • on August 4, 2016 at 6:54 pm Uh

        I just moved from Tampa Bay to “the hinterlands” … boring but I have to remind myself that I’m not around groids and so on. Things work, people are friendly.

        Argentina … anyplace outside of BA is liveable, but don’t expect efficiency unless you’re rich. Corrupt narcissistic Italians.

        LikeLiked by 1 person


      • on August 4, 2016 at 7:40 pm Lichthof

        Russia, Hungary, Poland etc

        LikeLike


      • on August 5, 2016 at 7:52 am wolfie65

        I REALLY miss the backpacker lifestyle and have been contemplating and working on getting back to it for quite some time.
        For me, the ‘hinterlands’ aren’t very far away, I can be in a mountain wilderness in about 1/2 hour on foot.
        Testing my tent for rain tightness as we speak, got a good used ALICE pack, since my internal frame Jansport pack is better suited to trains, planes and buses, but rather too sloppy for hiking.
        You don’t want to live in Russia, trust me.
        An extended South America and/or Pacific rim trip is worth considering…..

        OT: Strange occurrence at the grocery store – got flirty eyes & sweet smile from a little tiny headscarf lady (not even 5′, 20’s, maybe a 6, far as I could tell with all those clothes) – there are a couple here now when there used to be none – despite Trump 2016 hat.
        Maybe she’s shortsighted.

        LikeLike


      • on August 5, 2016 at 9:53 am Some Guy

        Strange occurrence at the grocery store – got flirty eyes & sweet smile from a little tiny headscarf lady (not even 5′, 20’s, maybe a 6, far as I could tell with all those clothes) – there are a couple here now when there used to be none – despite Trump 2016 hat.
        Maybe she’s shortsighted.

        The other day at school, I got a mad IOI from some (presumably) Persian chick in a hijab: Narrow eyes, slight smile,and gazing at me intently. I know that look and it means one thing: “I’d love to rip your clothes off, throw you to the ground and fuck your brains out right here and now in front of God and everyone.” I was wearing a black t-shirt that said in big white letters “humanity is overrated.” Chicks eat this antisocial shit up like catnip.

        Any suggestions from anyone on how to cold open in a sitch like this? What about using the hackneyed line “didn’t I see you in here with your boyfriend the other day?” Maybe I should say “does your boyfriend ever tell you you’re beautiful?” Or is that too pedastalizing?

        Comments? Questions?

        LikeLike


      • on August 5, 2016 at 10:30 am Corvo

        “Any suggestions from anyone on how to cold open in a sitch like this?”

        aloha snackbar hey lets grab some coffee after class and then how about I open fire on some infidels and while they’re distracted you activate your suicide vest, baby?

        LikeLike


      • on August 5, 2016 at 1:08 pm CarpeOro

        Forget Argentina. Cyclical insanity in the capital. Better off in Chile. Pinochet left them far better off than anywhere else in Latin America.

        LikeLiked by 1 person


  7. on August 4, 2016 at 2:38 pm Ang Aamer

    I go through a similar routine when I am out.

    If you are a student of people you can see that men higher up on the social, monetary ladder usually don’t say much. They are careful with their words and the fewer the words the more weight seems behind them.

    I am often in settings where I can’t speak about the majority of what I do professionally, where I travel, and what hobbies I have. When you take those blab baits out of the equation it’s hard to keep conversations going unless you use rich men talk.

    Her – What do you do?
    Response – I analyze international market trends for large companies.

    this response is not wordy and it’s not single word specific either. Just right amount of ambiguity of information to usually get default follow ups like –

    Her – Do you enjoy it?
    Response – Oh yes I love traveling in Europe. Have you been to any major cities in Europe?

    At this point she usually has been to a city or knows a friend who has and we can have a decent conversion about London or whatever. But outside of my apparent well traveled story I have not provided much data to the female at all. In fact steering conversations away from details about a man’s life while providing DHV queues like world travel seems to perk up the curiosity of most females to high levels. It’s like a game of providing conversational entertainment for her while providing little data in which the female can pin you down on.

    Another thing I have noticed is that if I am careful and of few words. My voice and cadence become deep and mellow in timbre. I also believe this helps in eliciting female nether regions to tingle.

    LikeLike


  8. on August 4, 2016 at 3:47 pm plumpjack

    if you’ve ever trained someone in acting, sports, or martial arts, you can tell immediately when they’re trying to “think” their way through something. aka try-hard. the remedy is always the same: get outta your head and into your body. people who refuse to indulge in self doubt learn quickly. people who constantly question their worth are hopelessly slow to learn.

    confidence resides in the body. you can always come back to that. there’s absolutely nothing wrong with where you’re at. you came into this world complete, and talking to a beautiful woman doesn’t change that one molecule. the only thing that can make you feel incomplete is yourself. so you might as well just decide you’re always complete, even as you’re developing proficiency in something.

    that’s not the same as being OVER confident. it’s taking your self worth as a constant. it’s not up for negotiation. ever.

    LikeLiked by 1 person


    • on August 4, 2016 at 5:40 pm Ripp

      +1

      LikeLike


    • on August 4, 2016 at 6:01 pm Uh

      “Behind thy thoughts and feelings, my brother, there is a mighty lord, an unknown sage—it is called Self; it dwelleth in thy body, it is thy body.

      There is more sagacity in thy body than in thy best wisdom.”

      Nistzsche

      LikeLike


      • on August 5, 2016 at 7:10 am oink

        “Watch and pray so that you will not fall into temptation. The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak.”

        …

        you cuck!

        LikeLike


    • on August 4, 2016 at 6:02 pm Uh

      That was good btw.

      LikeLike


    • on August 4, 2016 at 6:15 pm mendo

      Good stuff, pj!

      LikeLike


  9. on August 4, 2016 at 4:13 pm PA

    It’s a cognitive trick that pays dividends,

    Mind-body tricks like that work. Do this experiment: jog or run at a comfortable pace and then visualise a hand pushing you back. Then imagine a ripe pulling you forward. Alternate rapidly between the two fantasies and your body will react accordingly. You will actually feel resistance when you imagine being pushed back and lighter when you imagine being pulled.

    Thanks for the shoutout in the previous post.

    LikeLiked by 1 person


  10. on August 4, 2016 at 4:56 pm elmertjones

    When a fella has had a dry spell and no contact with women it can be intimidating when no real fear is warranted. Participating in regular partner dance regimen can help overcome this. Strip-clubs do not as they put you in passive loser mode. Prostitutes can leave you with infectious diseases or maybe getting featured in your local paper as hapless victim of a sting operation. Therefor ballroom dancing is the clear winner for practical methods of developing crucial confidence with women.

    LikeLike


    • on August 4, 2016 at 4:58 pm elmertjones

      And who among has not suffered neck injury from getting pommeled by a pair of fake breasts at the titty-bar?

      LikeLike


    • on August 4, 2016 at 6:09 pm Uh

      This is true. My mom is a ballroom dance instructor. Being too punk rock for my own good, I usually spurned instruction growing up. But the one week I didn’t, I ended up having one of my first sexual experiences with another instructor in her 20s at my mom’s studio.

      LikeLike


    • on August 4, 2016 at 6:11 pm Uh

      I’m also a lifelong felon, so what OP suggests as a thought experiment is my daily mindset. Lol

      LikeLike


  11. on August 4, 2016 at 4:59 pm RambleAround

    Think of her sucking your dick

    LikeLike


  12. on August 4, 2016 at 5:05 pm Ponce du Lion

    I use this one weird trick: I think I’m a overpowered monarch

    LikeLike


    • on August 5, 2016 at 8:18 am Big-Al

      Barack Obama game lol

      LikeLike


  13. on August 4, 2016 at 5:16 pm HowlingManTodd

    In other words: https://youtu.be/vn_PSJsl0LQ

    LikeLike


    • on August 5, 2016 at 7:06 am oink

      oh, so that’s how ((y’all)) deal with the cognitive dissonance

      LikeLike


  14. on August 4, 2016 at 5:56 pm Anonymous

    .

    LikeLike


  15. on August 4, 2016 at 5:58 pm How To Coax The Inner Confidence That Ladies Crave | Reaction Times

    […] Source: Heartiste […]

    LikeLike


  16. on August 4, 2016 at 6:38 pm Johnny Redux

    Treat them all like semi-attractive (i.e., do-able after a few shots) fat chicks until you seal the deal and start dating (if a LTR is what you want to do, that is). The “I can take it leave it” attitude is like nectar to a bee.

    LikeLike


  17. on August 4, 2016 at 7:56 pm OMG RACISM CALL THA POLICE!

    I just imagine I’m Donald Trump.

    LikeLike


  18. on August 4, 2016 at 9:10 pm cortesar

    This one is from “A picture is worth thousands of words” edition

    https://pbs.twimg.com/media/Coo9v3IWEAAE8yg.jpg:large

    LikeLike


  19. on August 4, 2016 at 9:40 pm Reb

    Fuck mind tricks. Become somebody, hurt people, be a dick, make people afraid of crossing you amd have fun doing it. Watch that pussy beg to squeeze your dick.

    LikeLiked by 1 person


    • on August 5, 2016 at 6:19 am Lichthof

      Yep. I’m in this frame now. When I approach women now inside my head I say things like ‘you are a dirty slut…I’d love to hurt you’ …it spikes my manliness…gives me an edge ND chicks respond. Grit your teeth, talk low and slow like a contract killer. Be moody. It arouses them in a primal way.

      LikeLike


      • on August 5, 2016 at 12:31 pm Reb

        Shit like..You want to rob a bank with me? …Your daddy didn’t love you….How tight can your little pussy squeeze a dick?…Tell me how long it’s been since a man talked dirty to you …etc.

        LikeLike


  20. on August 4, 2016 at 10:39 pm Organist

    Re the comment about famous people perfecting their personas; the man that bought one of sinatra’s old houses found a huge stash of home movies- they were all selfies of Frank.

    Singing, talking, laughing etc.

    He wanted to fine tune how he appeared.

    It worked.

    LikeLike


  21. on August 4, 2016 at 11:23 pm Vice

    lmao. Saw this on 4chan:

    >Notice new girl on my jog route that looks really cute/innocent who walks her dog the same time every morning
    >Come up with the ice-breaker line “I don’t know who’s cuter, you or your dog”
    >This morning get the courage (using alcohol) to come up and talk to her because I always wave to her
    >”I don’t know who’s hotter, you or your dog”
    >Cringe as soon as I say it
    >”I-I…I m-mean”
    >Run off at full speed
    Fuck. Can she call the cops on me?

    –

    >I don’t know who’s cuter, you or your dog

    Potential?

    LikeLike


    • on August 5, 2016 at 9:34 am TZ

      Divide the timings and it could be decent.

      U’r so cute!
      Thx, says the girl
      I meant the dog

      LikeLike


    • on August 5, 2016 at 10:24 am Carlos Danger

      LMAO I am hyperventilating!

      LikeLike


  22. on August 5, 2016 at 2:31 am rjna1

    I use your method, with the exception that I actually am what is cheesily described as a “psychopath” (such an embarrassingly shallow and obtuse term) and sexual sadist. I madturbate to things that was traumatise most people or make them vomit in shock.

    When I’m dealing with girls and remind myself of this, it makes me feel much more in control of the situation, similar to how you describe.

    LikeLike


  23. on August 5, 2016 at 2:53 am Rajesh

    Here’s a man’s Man. Bon Scott.

    On the day I was born the rain fell down
    There was trouble brewing in my home town
    It was the seventh day, I was the seventh son
    And it scared the hell out of everyone

    They said stop, I said go
    They said fast, I said slow
    They said yes, I said no
    I do the bad boy boogie

    Being a bad boy ain’t that bad
    I’ve had me more dirty women than most men ever had
    All you women come along with me
    And I’ll show you how good a bad boy can be

    I said right and they said left
    I said east and they said west
    I said up and they said down
    I do the bad boy boogie all over town

    I want to tell you no story, tell you no lie
    I was born to love till the day I die
    I just line them up and I knock them down
    And they all came running when the word got round.

    LikeLike


  24. on August 5, 2016 at 2:54 am Rajesh

    LikeLike


  25. on August 5, 2016 at 3:00 am Rajesh

    Click my name for the video.

    LikeLike


  26. on August 5, 2016 at 6:34 am Laguna Beach Fogey

    I imagine I’ve committed horrible crimes. It’s not true (mostly) and the imagining could be used as evidence of a nascent psychopathy (mostly), but if I think it enough and think it during those times I’m out in public (as if hiding something from the world)

    Yes, it helps if you’ve actually committed some crimes and have an actual criminal record. Also, thought crimes.

    LikeLike


    • on August 5, 2016 at 6:38 am Laguna Beach Fogey

      LikeLike


  27. on August 5, 2016 at 7:49 am whorefinder

    Who needs confidence when you have Rolhypnol?

    Can I buy you a drink rape?!

    LikeLike


  28. on August 5, 2016 at 8:08 am Waffles

    Today in Fat Science

    “Brains of overweight people ‘ten years older’ than lean counterparts at middle-age”

    http://www.cam.ac.uk/research/news/brains-of-overweight-people-ten-years-older-than-lean-counterparts-at-middle-age

    LikeLike


    • on August 5, 2016 at 8:13 am whorefinder

      So you’re telling me the girls in my basement are really mentally immature?

      Figure it out rape!

      LikeLike


    • on August 5, 2016 at 8:22 am wolfie65

      Proves once again that age does NOT equal wisdom.

      LikeLike


    • on August 5, 2016 at 9:02 am mendo

      Hence the term for someone who’s dense: fathead!

      LikeLike


  29. on August 5, 2016 at 9:50 am Space Viking

    A little late to the party, but my addition:

    Lift weights, as has been said many times.
    Join a boxing gym, and actually box.

    The second one is important. If you know you can fight without getting turned into a stain on the sidewalk, then you carry yourself differently. People can see this and read it subconsciously. Men will respect you more and women will find you “interesting”.

    Plus, added bonus, you’ll be beating the tar out of brown people, who you are most likely to be facing if you ever have to use your skills outside the ring.

    LikeLike


    • on August 5, 2016 at 12:19 pm ConantheContrarian

      Try Systema, the Russian martial art, really bad ass stuff.

      LikeLike


  30. on August 5, 2016 at 9:58 am farmlegend

    What works for me is simply reminding myself of a great phrase which originated on this site:

    Be irrationally self-confident.

    LikeLike



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