Commenter Karl Marx (fitting) wonders if sexual shame is the real reason why good-looking men with no Game fail with women.
Are you not conflating mental problems with no game? Most good looking guys who can’t get laid have some sort of mental hangup. If parents embed deep sexual shame into their sons no amount of PUA tactics can save a man.
Garden-variety introversion and dullness are common afflictions and not indicative of “mental hangups”. Sexual shame is a useless Freudian concept that has almost no basis in reality outside of weird religious communities and mentally ill autogynephilic trannies.
You go to great lengths about the effectiveness of shaming women, fat people but consider sexual shame “no basis in reality”?
Shaming “women”? No, shaming “fat women”. And the reason is obvious: fat kills romance dead. But I have never met a man who did poorly with women because he had some deep-seated “sexual shame”. That’s not how it goes for the vast majority of men who have trouble getting women. Just the opposite really; men have NO sexual shame and a great desire to FULFILL their sexual craving, but lack the courage and acumen to satisfy their lust. The tension between their sexual SHAMELESSNESS and their sexual FAILURE is what causes them to swallow black pills by the mouthful and grasp discredited Freudian gobbledygook to rationalize their incel torment.
How you are treated throughout your childhood affects you your whole life.
Hm, a loaded statement that, while containing nuggets of truth, has come under fire from geneticists who haven’t located any strong correlation between shared environment and life outcome. The evidence appears to be heading in the direction of genes piloting the ship of fate, with environment (parents and peers) playing a smaller role as co-pilot.
Anyhow, social shaming of boys will never be powerful enough to override their later sexual desires. Like I said, most men aren’t deviants acutely ashamed of their insolent boners. What they are is supplicating, fearful dullards who place pussy on the pedestal thinking that will help them get laid, and yes that should be shamed by better men who know it’s not what women want.
“How you are treated throughout your childhood affects you your whole life.”
that implies victimhood, passive receiving of treatment. it leads to rationalizations of failure later in life.
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Mutilating a baby’s genitals is quite a few steps beyond mistreatment.
At some point, the reduction of a person’s genitals, and their evolved capacity and function, will effect that person’s life.
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you have a point of course, but what I’m inferring from the cited sentence is bemoaning “emotional abuse”. like your dad calling you lazy in second grade or something.
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Extroverts really don’t understand introverts. If I talk to more than one stranger a week, that’s more than enough. Now, this obviously makes getting laid a bit difficult so I do have to talk to strangers but I don’t enjoy a minute of it. Fortunately I have cool hobbies and it doesn’t actually take much talking once I get a girl out but the ‘get a girl out’ is a painful grind that will never go away.
Slightly OT: I’ve had 2 girls fall off in the last month after sex. Not sure if I’m texting too much after but I don’t particularly text all that much. 2nd date sex and then basically nothing. One girl went on a third date and tried to put me back into the no sex bucket, so next, whatever. The other just went cold on me after I texted her for a meetup (didn’t respond at all). First one 34, second one 26. I’ve had this happen before sex before but never after and I’m trying figure it out so I don’t do it with the next one (or three, whatever). The sex was good. Multiple times with both of them.
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Second on introverted. It’s more about energy levels, I enjoy socializing and meeting new people to a point but feel like a cat who’s been petted too much very quickly. It’s exhausting.
Don’t know if it’s accurate but I suspect it’s a genetic adaptation. The tribe became safer when you have some guy who’s cool just standing watch by himself. If introversion is correlated with night owl, that may be the reason.
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Hanging around with family and a few friends is generally sufficient to this particular introvert. If you like that sort of thing, by all means, go mix with the rabble. But it sure doesn’t seem like an affliction to me to not be hyper-social. The vapid gabbling or annoying sh!tl!b p0litics of most people is enough for me to keep them at arm’s length.
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“Multiple times with both of them.”
Did they cum, or just you?
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one yes (26), one, not sure but don’t think so (34).
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Do you have your finger on the cl!t for the entire time you are going at it with them?
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EHS, I’m asking about their sexual/0rgasmic experience with you because in reading your field reports here, the two possibilities which immediately jumped out at me were either:
1) They aren’t getting what they want sexually. [Maybe they want to be brutalized?] Or else:
2) You could be dealing with some pretty serious iPhag-induced Anti-Social Personality Disorder in these s1uts.
Because what you’re describing – a young man & a young woman banging each others’ brains out, but then never talking to one another again – is some appallingly Anti-Human nihilism.
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i think you’re on to something here captain.
these girls are probably now so addicted to having constant stimulation from their devices that they can’t even be satisfied anymore with what used to be enough for the average girl.
they need everything so amped up and exciting all the time that something as great as sex with someone they like isn’t even enough to keep them entertained and sticking around.
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Because what you’re describing – a young man & a young woman banging each others’ brains out, but then never talking to one another again – is some appallingly Anti-Human nihilism.
34 year old I went on another date with and she tried to put me back in the no sex zone. Suggested one more date with her 3-4 days later and she ignored my suggestion. Girl 2, texted a few times, she replied, a little delayed but nothing insane, I’d delay my response. Basic stuff. Suggested a meetup a few days later and got no response. That was on Monday and I haven’t heard from her or re-initiateded contact. It’s just a new experience for me. They usually stick around.
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EHS need more info. You texting first too much, not making them chase? Niceguying them after sex instead of kicking them out? Too available? Not letting them know you have (or seem to have) options? You say you’re introverted, do you come off as shy/asocial at all?
Seems a bit weird for both to bail after one instance of sex. You drastically undersized? How are you fucking these girls, positions and stuff? Sex should typically seal the deal for at least a few more dates.
Where are you meeting these women? Are they out a nightclubs, types of chicks who might be railing a bunch of different dudes each week?
Again seems a bit unusual and my guess is that it’s a combination of you not blowing them away in bed (fixable) and perhaps being too available and not exciting/charming enough in your interactions (fixable). Without more info it’s tough to tell.
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Probably, but it’s not excessive. Still sending 1 to every one of their 2 but I probably initiated too much
Probably, I didn’t kick either one out.
I was going out with 2-3 different women at the same time and this usually takes care of itself
No, I’m very good at Kino. I’m just not very verbal. I’m socially awkward in large groups but fine one on one
Normal or slightly above. not hung, not small.
On the rougher side. They were into it. Missionary, doggy, Girl on top.
Agreed, this is a new one for me. Only ever had one not come back before so 2 in 3 weeks is odd.
Bumble. First girl seems like former slut. Second girl is very bubbly. Did not get a slut read from her
I think first girl had buyers remorse from putting out too soon when she’s clearly in trap a beta mode. I’m a CPA with a house and come off as trappable on paper. I’ve basically written her off but might throw a future text for shits and grins
Second girl, I have no idea. Hindsight, I’d probably have waited an extra day or two to send a suggestion for another meetup but it wasn’t a ‘blow out of the water’ level of neediness. Not sure if I should try and reinitiate with her next week or see if she ever reaches out. Last contact was monday when I didn’t get a response.
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Huh, seems like you know what you’re doing well enough and don’t appear to have any major flaws that would cause them to bail. I wouldn’t worry about it in that case, shit happens. Let us know if it happens more though, as that’d obviously mean there’s an issue.
As far as reinitiating with the second chick, I’d say next her unless she eventually contacts you. They always respond if they’re interested, and it always kills your attractiveness to reach out twice with no response.
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Shame can do some part of it; used to be a bit more feminist and had some christian leanings still going on.
Sites like this and interaction with women over the years did a lot to cut down on it and get me a better idea of how the women folk really are.
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Might be some kernel of sexual shame at play in specific cases. In mine, older sisters targeted me with the casual cruelty with which only hot young women can use against the healthy sexual urges of a younger male sibling. The oldest sister, interestingly, was kind and supportive.
Even in my adolescence, I was tall and athletic, but had bad skin and lingering fear of ridicule. Basically, I tripped and fell into a couple of pussies in my late teens, then endured five years of re-virginating (five long years). In those dark days, I seriously considered a life of incel, and wanted out. Then, I met the most beautiful woman I’d ever been around. Something tripped a switch, and I seduced her with a finesse I knew not possible.
After a few weeks of the most mind-blowing sex I’ve had, she started withdrawing. Looking back, it was of course because of cringe-worthy neediness. Wish I knew then what I know now, and all that …
The upside though, was that I no longer believed my sisters’ bullshit that I was undesirable. And so I went slayin’ with a fever. It took some time to develop pickup skills – still learning – and I may never again even meet such a beautiful woman as Lay No. 3. Never quite made the magic three-digit score, but the count was close enough that my waning years will be golden-hued because of the warm memories of beautiful women presenting their hindquarters to my proud member. The best parts of life are lived twice.
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Wise words — pay attention, young bucks. What changed for our protagonist here? His attitude.
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The best parts of life are lived twice.””””””’
cool statement
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in life its crazy that you can actually have prettier than the third one in the waning years
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I think you’d agree that women do feel sexual shame (“ASD”). A man who feels sexual shame might therefore be a low-T, feminine man.
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Any tips for not overthinking and micro analyzing every interaction with women?
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ZFG
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Remember that they run on feelz, not rational logic, so don’t try to make sense of every interaction because you can’t. But it’s a feature not a bug; keep doing your thing and don’t spend too much time thinking about any one girl (until she’s the mother of your children).
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Thanks. Buns must go into ovens.
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Stop thinking, just do.
Treat them like children.
Go for what you want.
What you say is of little importance compared to how you say it (awkward pauses only arise when you’re worried about everything you say being perfect).
Finally, have at least 5 girls on the go. With that many, you won’t have time to analyse and fret over why the two blue check marks haven’t showed up on your whatsapp messages to them.
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You have to recondition your mind not to do this. Whenever you start analyzing just let the thought “flow” right out of your mind. It’s a bit difficult to describe but you just sort of freeze your thought process until the thought passes. Like refreshing a screen. It’s gone.
I tell guys to knit the above mechanism with a sort of smirk or furrowing of the brow, the sort of amused, cocky reaction one has when he is being “lectured” by a child and not really paying attention to what’s being said. I think these physical reactions reinforce your mind to react properly (zfg).
Finally you add the theory: a woman’s mind doesn’t work like a man’s mind. She’s literally closer to a child motivated by simple emotions, everything fleeting. In that sense she is a lesser being than you. You’d never have this sort of hyper-analytical, vulnerable mentality when dealing with a 5-year-old. You’d never have it with a dog. A grown woman is in ways closer to these things than she is to a man. Treating her as such will eventually make it seem unnatural/wrong to be genuinely affected by or concerned with her actions.
It’s hard for me to imagine this combination of theory and proper response, reinforced over and over for years, leaving a man as anything but a zero fucks given shitlord in his dealings with women.
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Autism 101: We are rules followers.
I don’t get a hardon just looking at girls. (This is a standard test for autism.) I have to actually touch a woman’s pubic area (or think about touching/fucking her) for that to happen (unless she does some shit like touching my anus, lol).
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so you’re literally a naturally born pussy grabber
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Great post. I think this point is especially true for boys raised Catholic — a religion informally run by gay men and lesbian women who HATE heterosexuality and shame everyone with normal sexual urges. Since boys are the aggressors, they get the worst of it.
Between the ages of 14-17, I had several opportunities to lose my virginity but didn’t take them, largely because of the constant haranguing by parents and clergy. In retrospect, they did me a disservice for reasons that are too complicated to go into here.
Nuns and priests were the original blue-haired SJWs and Catholics were Muslims Lite. Nuns habits are a small step away from hijabs. I was raised Catholic, but relate more with Protestants. I’ll take the work ethic and the Beach Boys over bleeding hearts and Springsteen any day.
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Lol they’re not ashamed of sex, bitch. They’re ashamed of sex with YOU!
[CH: pro handle.]
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‘Good-looking men don’t succeed with women’ = Fake News 101
[CH: “good-looking men don’t fail with women” = Very Fake News 101
you aren’t going to win this battle, wolfie, so you may as well stop now before you really embarrass yourself.]
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Men believing that women want brutally handsome (credit: don Henley) men stems from mens’ own natural desire for beautiful women and the (incorrect) thought process that “well, um I want the hottest girl I can find so girls must want the hottest guy they can find.” Wrong. Men and women are DIFFERENT. we want beautiful. They don’t. Look at their instawhoré accounts. They want a LIFESTYLE. a fun, perfectly curated, exciting fun and romantic lifestyle. Therefore, they want the man who leads that lifestyle and can give it to them. All women want it. They CRAVE the lifestyle. Western women, to various extents, basically already have that lifestyle without a man, so therefore they are harder to pick up. Present a more fun/exciting lifestyle than what they already have to them and that’s how you pick them up. The hotter the girl, the more lifestyle you have to offer them. Game, or applied charisma, is a “hack” to this state of affairs. There are only so many oligarchs/sponsors around, so hotter,younger,tighter girls in Latin America or Eastern Europe are going to be easier to pick up because, as a western man, you already present a lifestyle demonstrably better than the one they have. Just look at all those Russian girls who go to Dubai. They want the lifestyle of glamour, shopping, and 5 star hotels and they will go to the man who can offer it.
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[…] Source: Heartiste […]
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I do think that sexual shame is a thing for attractive men. You’ll see it in a lot of doctors, for example. Yes, doctors, lawyers, etc. are, on average, better looking than the average men. There’s a certain level of self-denial that will get an attractive man through years of hard work and education, but deny himself sexual gratification.
Part of this has to do with low female resources available in their field. I’ve seen men like this settle-down with women who are plain and sometimes much older than themselves. However, there is no “fooling around”, because the possibility of a broken family would be seen as failure, and these men strive for perfection.
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Can’t speak to MDs, but I believe that on the whole, lawyers are some of the ugliest examples of homo sapiens sapiens walking this planet.
Present company excluded, of course.
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I have to disagree. Sexual shame for men is a real thing. I lived with it for most of my adult life before becoming red pill aware. I mean ashamed of one’s normal, male sexual desires. That is shame is something that our feminized society promotes.
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I know what you mean, but I think what CH is getting at, is that it’s not inherent in men, that is, through a variety of outside influences, it’s somehow pressed upon those who fall victim to such thinking.
I speak from my own experience about this and yadda yadda yadda, it was more manufactured shame, placebo shame, because those desires and urges I had were good. Had I channeled them in the right manner with some game and all that entails, much more fun would have been had with almost zero shame.
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How do I stop performance anxiety from creeping in after securing the pickup on a ONS?
[CH: if you have performance anxiety, i’d imagine being a little tipsy helps. but not too tipsy. and also, seal the deal on your turf.]
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At difficult as it sounds, don’t over think it. Control your breathing to ease your anxiety. There’s some good info online about this.
Take some l-arginine so blood is flowing to the right areas when the shows gets started. In fact, take l-arginine anyways. If you have access to either viagra or cialis, take a fourth of it. This will help open up all the necessary blood channels, because when you’re anxious, your heart will be racing a mile a minute–reason why breathing is so important–so you need to make sure that area gets it’s sufficient share of blood.
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literally wish i read this shit last weekend. took me like 4 hours of foreplay and dealing with LMR to get that shit stiff.
porn really fucks you up lol
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Take what you want from her and satisfy all your basest, most depraved desires. Don’t worry about sticking to a predictable sexual script. Do what makes you hard not what you think she wants. Worked for me like a charm. And those who weren’t into my sexual demands? Fück ’em. Lots more where that came from.
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if it’s that much of an issue just take a little cialis the day before. you can get the stuff online without a script. pornstars take it all the time for scenes.
be sure not to overdose. shit’s powerful as fuck.
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Experience and practice.
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Why the fuck have you never made a post about Phenibut?
http://www.returnofkings.com/69173/how-phenibut-can-help-you-game-hot-girls
https://www.goodlookingloser.com/get-enhanced/phenibut/phenibut-and-sex
I don’t know how many of your readers are into RCs, but let me tell you a leetle sumpin’: 2-FMA + Phenibut is the cat’s pajamas for enhancing savoir faire and inducing an awe-inspiring zen-like state. This combo will literally force you to get up your arse and go out and socialize. You can think of it as an extended version of the Coke + GHB combo. With regards to the aforementioned, there’s someone on BL who said that it made him a better seducer than Batman. Think about it.
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I also think sexual shame can be a thing. It’s a tool that women love to deploy when it suits their objective. Back in the days when I was not only blue pill, but ultraviolet pill, women would shame me for just asking them out or making a slightly randy joke. “I can’t believe you said that!” “That’s weird!” “That’s creepy!”, etc.
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Of course environment and upbringing makes a massive difference. We couldn’t degenerate otherwise and fascists and social conservatives do believe heavily in nurture only the examples they give are always of nurturing decline. If genetics were primary we could not see a shift in character as large as the one observed between the greatest generation and the baby boomers.
Autism and social darwinism go well together because it’s all about you uninfuenced by the social world. Autism, or some kind of autism-lite, would also explain why many men can’t get laid and arrive at sites like this.
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Now I don’t know whether autism is on the rise today or whether or not autism simply stands out more against the backdrop of a feels-based economy geared around social ability.
Miners, engineers, scientists are all things less affected, and maybe even aided, by autism where social care, salesmen and PR are not. Apart from finance not many jobs today reward aspergers.
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Because genetics is primary, we noticed the shift from The Greatest Generation to the declining Baby Boomers. Without a genetic ruler to measure this decline, we would have never had a standard to measure it against. Do we see a generational decline like this in any other race?
Yes we do. Look at how hard the Mexicans of one generation past worked. It is in their DNA to work hard. Now notice how spoiled the “anchor babies” act and how lazy they are at their jobs.
This all comes down to the good seed in a bad environment scenerio, but the good seed is still better off in a bad environment than a bad seed in a good one.
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The shame you felt was really embarrasment, because you felt entitled to that prime pussy, yet you were not. You saw on TV and in the movies how pussy assed disorganized liberal men got that prime pussy, and they were like you. You had feeeeelings of deserving it for free just because.
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That last one was meant for Alpha Vale above
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When I was a child and expressed interest in a girl, my parents and sister would snicker and say “haha you’ve got a girlfriend ehh lol?”
Except the young me didn’t realize this was sarcasm and I always felt a bit embarrassed for being seen with the girl or simply expressin interesrt, when these feelings were entirely natural.
This feeling of shame inhibited me from successfully approaching girls for years, until I discovered “game” blogs such as this one and gradually started improving my self esteem and game skills.
Thank you for everything you’ve done for us men needing a right kick up the arse.
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Normies get nervous arouns players. Jealous too. Fuck em man.
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I’ve been reading CH for probably 5 years, but this is my first time commenting. I just have to ask – why do you consider introversion an affliction? I’m 40 yo, redpilled, confident, successful, etc. I’m also introverted, and don’t consider it an affliction and don’t want to change it.
[CH: i don’t. it was a word i used to convey the message that introversion within the context of the modern unregulated sexual market is a handicap.]
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You’re introverted and haven’t – at least at times – thought it to be a curse? Good Gravy, man!
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most likely – fib
not as likely – if you really are introverted, you really don’t give a fuck
the rub: most introverts – we aren’t
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You have to be outgoing unless you really connect with a certain type of chick.
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I wish we could keep this discussion going but I think my comments are being moderated. I’m surprised that you’re surprised by what I said and the other guy thinks I’m lying. I guess I’ve always thought of it as something like I’m a baseball fan and you like football. No real reason to want to change. Are you an introvert and wish you weren’t? Are you also shy?
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***I wish we could keep this discussion going but I think my comments are being moderated***
They seem to be coming through.
***I guess I’ve always thought of it as something like I’m a baseball fan and you like football.***
Pretty healthy attitude, I’d say.
***Are you an introvert and wish you weren’t?Are you also shy?***
To the second part: no, I’m not shy at all. Through the ancient Magick of Game, I’ve actually developed a certain charisma which I have no problem using.
When I’m in the mood.
And so, to answer your first question, HELLS YES I’m introverted and wish I weren’t. It’s SUCH a curse, not only romantically but career-wise, etc., etc. JUST NOW I was forced to stop the flirty banter with an attractive co-worker because I couldn’t bear being social anymore.
I’m really quite stunned that you’re an introvert too and this is the first time you’ve considered the idea that it might be a curse.
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It’s a curse and a blessing. I’m single right now so the grind of dating is even worse because I have to be social when I don’t want to be just to get girls but once I have a few I can sit by myself and be happy. I don’t really get ‘lonely’ because sitting home by myself is awesome.
If I was an extrovert, I’d go into sales though.
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Because when you are an introvert, you are unable to verbally understand, connect and communicate with people on the same level. Work on that.
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Shame is based in pride. If you sexy af, why would you be ashamed of the sexy people you fuck? I take pride in my high quality lays, this is why I game women at work even without shame . No shame in my game!
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