Do you struggle to find the right words to say when you approach a woman with engorged love in your heart? Commenter plumpjack stumbled on a line that I think would work well as an opener (or post-opener segue) in all sorts of contexts — offline, online, and between the lines.
“I’m a cold-blooded killer who likes to spoon.”
The line is effective whether you smirk it off with a knowing twinkle in your eye, or you deadpan it and keep her guessing…and geysering. You can go in any direction no matter how she replies.
HER: really? so you’re a softie on the inside?
BEETLEJUICE’S BASED STICKMAN: for you.
Have fun with this. The true value of the line is how it will reorient your electric ham along a less beta, more alpha axis of insolence. The very act of saying this line, and owning it for fun and profit, will work wonders on your self-conception, imbuing you with the same feeling that professional womanizers enjoy every time they go out and talk to women. And that feeling’s name is COCKY JERKBOY ENTITLEMENT. (chicks dig it)
Good club opener when they ask you: “So…what do you DO?”
LikeLike
My go to reply is: whatever I want
Then walk away
LikeLike
Or the good lo’ Red Forman: “About what?”.
LikeLike
Reply.: ” I look for pussy that needs grabbing and yours is in need of it .”
Ain’t no shame to stake your claim rape !
LikeLike
Yeah, gay pronstar is so overused.
LikeLike
A good one is when you compliment her friend’s looks. She’s thinking “What about me?”
LikeLike
Last week I used:
You look like someone from Detroit I know.
Oh man I can’t seem to remember…
It’s not like you have a familiar face…
Oh yeah, that old man from Meals on Wheels I used to serve food to!!
It was a gut punch and a laugh.
Her words: I was waiting for you to tell me how cute I was.
My response: You are cute… If you like old men.
LikeLike
I like to give my dates lurid histroy lessons about the various barbarians. It steers the conversation towards the subjects of manly conquest and RAPE (tip of the homberg to Whorefinder).
LikeLike
Wear one of these and you don’t even need an opener…
https://www.aafnation.com/pages/search-results-page?q=trump
LikeLiked by 1 person
[…] A Jerkboy Opener […]
LikeLike
I can sort of see this working with more down to earth friendly girls, i can not on the other hand see someone going up to girl seated with her fellow hipster friends in a fashionable bar for example and that pick up line succeeding.
LikeLike
Je$us Chr!st, O.E., we’re gonna hafta drag your sorry a$$ back behind the woodshed for a nice hard wh00ping.
Sheesh you have got to get that Red Pill out of the back of your throat and actually swallow the d@mned thing.
LikeLike
I’m with the good Captain on this. Damn, Ollie, are all you fucks from ol ‘blighty of this mind ?
Makes me glad ( as if I already wasn’t ) my ancestor left Hutton Bushell for this country. God bless America !
Man the fuck up.
LikeLike
It doesn’t matter who we are. What matters is our plan
LikeLike
I never thought two simple words could have as great an impact as:
“for you”
On a separate note, you always know a film resonates when you can quote certain lines from it and others know almost exactly where it’s from.
Case in point: Nolan’s Batman trilogy is oft quoted. How often does or has anyone here quoted The Avengers, et al.?
LikeLike
Ha I don’t think Avengers has anything worth quoting. Also those new Star Wars movies were completely forgettable.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Never thought about it but yeah. Huh.
LikeLike
What’s a “movie”?
LikeLike
will try it.
LikeLike
Once, years ago, my buddies and I were conversing on the subject of what we noticed about women first. They mentioned legs with F@ck me pumps on her feet, others said breast. I mentioned I like hands on a woman.
The very next day one of the hottest ch!cks in our department, an easy 7/8, walks up to me, begins to unbutton her blouse and proceeds to ask:
“So what are you noticing first?” or something like that.
Guys in the department were like: “Holy Sh!t”
To bad I was having a really bad day that day, I might have stayed to watch how far she went.
Can anybody clue me in on what that was about?
LikeLike
Were these coworkers you were conversing with or friends outside of work?
There seems to be a disconnect in the story.
LikeLike
Oh, sorry.
It was at work and the woman in question was within earshot. She was one of those “just one of the guys” type women. Liked to use double entendre’s and such.
LikeLike
Proper response would have been, “Hey, I think you have a hangnail, there”.
LikeLike
There’s one woman in every office who flirts with every guy. It’s fake. They’re just manipulators and attention whores. The loser betas will all fall for it and surround her with attention/favors.
When she was around I turned so she was out of my peripheral vision. After a few weeks she got so insecure she actually cornered me and asked why I don’t like her. I said, let’s just keep it professional.
She caused a lot of trouble… but not for me. Wives threatened to sue. Careers were damaged.
LikeLike
Exactly. Attention whores are gonna attention whore themselves out there.
LikeLike
Man hands and adams apples are how you spot the trannies. Always remember, if in doubt, its a trap.
LikeLike
“I might have stayed to watch how far she went.”
Hey Missy, you’ve forgotten those three remaining buttons …
LikeLike
[…] Source: Heartiste […]
LikeLike
We love this because it sketches a stark contrast between character (who we are), and characterization (what we do). James Bond is a good example of the contrast, and why the Bond fiction persists to this day.
LikeLiked by 1 person
“I’m a cold-blooded killer who likes to spoon.”
along the theme of the other posts eh
LikeLike
nice psych testing he he he
LikeLike
I’m a pussy killa. got a a dick like Godzilla.
I like to spoon, and your bitch ass, it will swoon.
LikeLike
thanks, CH! keep em comin.
LikeLike
Man, it sometimes sucks so much ass that there’s no way of smoothly translating much of the CH gold into my native language.
Keep ’em comin’ though!
LikeLike
“You don’t sweat much for a fat girl”
Generally does it fo me. Either that or you get a slap. Worth a few slaps for the other reactions…
LikeLike
assuming both are acceptable, talk trash to her but keep looking at her friend.
LikeLike
Have 3 sections for more added strength:
“I’m a (what ever) with a heart of gold, who likes to spoon.”
Chicks at work DIED. I’m all of sudden popular. Who knew!?
[CH: a sufficiently advanced level of Game is indistinguishable from magic.]
LikeLike