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Categories
“Reading gbfm comments..” Lol..
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With all due respect to GBFM, I had to choose the top option…
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watching sex and the city while snuggling on the couch and drinking hot chocolate, and reading each other’s horoscopes. mmm….
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Watching “This Is Us” in matching Let’s Smash Patriarchy tee shirts…
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. . . with your legs pulled up underneath you and wearing oversized cable knit sweaters and hair in matching messy buns?
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Watching the full series DVD set of Charmed, snuggling together with Hagen Das while wearing matching pajama-boy PJs with feet, surrounded by the seventeen cats you’ve adopted?
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The look of satisfaction on her face after she’s been taken hard by the 2 black guys who hang out on the corner.
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Cuddling together while watching Lena Dunham eat cake naked on a toilet.
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Wearing matching plaid onesies and hipster glasses.
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I wish I knew how to insert the family guy vomiting gif on these comments
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Ah, a good dose of laughter — thank you.
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me too
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I have some catching up to do. I was in Italy for 2.5 weeks. So much beauty. Naples is the only city that has soooo many black migrants. The city is dirty and gross. Time to catch up on Chateau Heartiste’s posts. š
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you sure you weren’t touring the major cities of the U.S.S.A. (United Socialist States of America)
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Anal is just wrong in so many ways. Ghey.
Never do anything a ghey soyboy would do. EVER.
[CH: anal with a hot chick is qualitatively different than gay anal sex. anyhow the sexy part isn’t so much the anal sex as it is the girl coyly asking for it.]
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It’s also a dominance/submission and taboo issue with women. Taboo things are incredibly hot, and getting them to do taboo things increases the excitement with you.
The dominance is obvious.
Oh, and it’s wayyy tighter than the standard pussy.
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yep thanks to the cock carousel
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In the ’90s, Jew pozz started dropping references to Anal everywhere, implying men like it better than normal sex, etc. It just became vastly overrated.
Without jew influence the amount of anal sex happening would drop exponentially. People are suggestible. Its just not a normal desire.
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Eddie Murphy joked about dudes wanting anal in the 80s
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Howard Stern ,er,pushed the idea of anal constantly on his radio show.
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(((HowardStern)))
The nose knows…
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@Wrong…Yeah…”Boogie In Your Butt”…his FIRST ‘hit’!
Wotta damned, dirty N I G G E R!
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Anal sex just ain’t that great. Tried it, didn’t like it.
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CH, still disagree. Anal sex is sterile by definition, and should be condemned in the strongest possible terms.
We wring our hands incessantly around here about the demise of huwhytey birth rates and yet sanction this….
Makes no sense.
You do know that Lawrence v. State of Texas (overturning prohibition of sodomy) paved tbe way for legalization of “homosexual marriage”
nationwide.
Any girl that “coyly begs for anal” reads too much Cosmo and has too much Poz coursing in her bloodstream.
Anal is against a natural woman’s prime directive: REPRODUCE.
Homosexuals were DRAWN AND QUARTERED legally in the U.S. in the 1800s, when men were men.
Sodomy is abhorrent and merits death.
Just my modest $0.02 worth.
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Anal sex is all about asserting power. It’s also a prerogative reserved for alphas, and a telltale of your mastery over them. Once you saucely ravage her batty, you instill in her mind indisputable proof of your higher value relative to hers.
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“Anal is just wrong in so many ways. Ghey.”
Ya, totes grodes. But I’ve known a couple thots in meatspace who genuinely liked it.
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“But Iāve known a couple thots in meatspace who genuinely liked it.”
Sure, there are men like that too. They’re called fags.
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The sexy vignette with anal sex is when you do it without asking her and she thanks you.
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Related:
The most alluring words from an attractive woman’s mouth are, “I want your baby,” in any variation.
“Kinky” sadomasochistic master/slave fantasy roleplaying barely approaches the mental state required for a woman to seek out pregnancy, childbirth, and nursing, and to do so repeatedly over the course or years. The HBEE from the previous post who needs a slap in the face to get her juices flowing reflects the core psychology of women, not some ethnic aberration.
Also related: imagine human civilization w/o menopause.
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Most mammals die after the eggs dry up. Only humans and a few whales live past. Makes one think.
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anal isn’t my thing. fun to try with your girl once just so you can say you did it. or if you are really heated up but the timing is wrong and you don’t want period sex.
other than that, it’s not something i’d want to do more than once. something is seriously wrong if a man or a girl wants to do it regularly in lieu of the real thing
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I reserve anal for high-dominance bitches; it really gets them off.
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Are you the guy from Steve Sailer???
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I would let CH be my first šanal intruder. š©
[CH: it would be my pressure. ;)]
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[…] Sexiest Vagnette […]
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Looks like blowjobs are popular…
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BJs are nice but I get bored quick.
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Then you’re not getting it right.
OR
You don’t enjoy being worshipped by a woman, maybe you like maso stuff.
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The bj itself has no real draw for me. But looking down at a woman looking up at me, busily trying to keep me happy, avoiding teeth, and watching my face to gauge my satisfaction….
It doesn’t get me off so much as establish dominance, which itself is a nice warmup to what’s about to happen.
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Mind you, facials have lost their taboo factor over the years. Yet, it is still satisfactory to let my load over a pretty girl’s face. It’s like either my signature on her face or, to put it on religious terms, her being welcomed into the cult by getting baptized. With that being said, I wouldn’t mind baptizing this hottie, show her the true path to bliss.
[CH: quick facial story. I once surprised a girl with a facial (we were fucking in my bed missionary style and i pulled out and quickly positioned near her face for the coup de wad) and she reacted with what i would best describe as irritation. I know why. She was in the process of putting me into a beta provider boyfriend role (we had been dating about six months by then) and my facial jarred her growing mental image of me as a man she’d like to settle down with and show off to mom. facials are alpha cad maneuvers, and nothing bugs a girl like the man she assumed would make a good beta BF turning out some WWE raw uncut alpha mojo.]
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CH- what did you choose? I voted for the gushing pussy under the skirt.
[CH: same]
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that was a close second for me. went for the tall grass one. you can take a cossack out of the steppe but you can’t take the steppe out of the cossack.
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It’s something. I had one girl who, while sexily prim and proper, would when aroused, lift up her shirt to expose her glorious nippy. just one. The girl had been completely splooshed, she had to expose herself.
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That was the only one that, when I pictured it, gave me that little “heart skipped a beat” sensation. A girl wanting to initiate sex is magnitudes hotter than a girl merely willing to have sex.
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Nothing like the feeling of wet pussy…..
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Brings memories of my youth. Going to the movies, finding a girl I like, sitting next to her, striking a conversation, them as the lights dim and the movie rolls, make out with her nice and soft. Then, slipping my hand down her dress, feeling the sweet moist nectar of her innocent fragile self as she moans and breathes heavily, never felt anything in her life like that before. And that my friends, is what success and satisfaction is all about. Finding it when you least expect it.
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Tall grass. Must be the dash of Polish blood in there. Winged hussars and all that.
[CH: a polish girl i once dated showed me incredibly bucolic photos of her posing in polish meadows with the setting sun dipping below the horizon behind her.]
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Its great, but when you think about it, not even close when you perform the grab yourself. When she anticipates , but doesnt expect..and then you grab and zap the gina on megavolts of tingles. Priceless.
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So did I.
Her asking you to knock her up is still better in my opinion, but not listed š¦
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Pollock.
Jackson Pollock.
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To be fair, all of those are pretty good.
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You gotta complete everything on that list to get your Platinum Alpha card.
kekekekek
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Hey, closer to alpha than I thought then. Just missing the shower one (not a fan of shower sex) and I don’t know what gbfm means.
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gbfm is a legend ’round these parts. I cannot distill in a comment what he represents. Visit the Chateau archives to get an understanding.
gbfm = great books for men
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you’re a mentally deranged, sadistic, cisgender white male who gets off on oppressing women. you need to watch more television and get your head right.
having a 350lb fat slob landwhale sit on your face while she stuffs her fucking face with seven layer cheesecake is what turns REAL men on.
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No,of course,but having a beautiful sexy woman sitting on your face being pleasured by ya tongue,well,that’s pretty good.(it moved)
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… while simultaneouslywatching this show
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ok I seriously just barfed you sick bastid
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You, sir, are unkind.
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Doing all of the above with a hot chick (or chicks) over the course of a holiday 3 day weekend.
da GBFM though probably just needs one evening to complete the entire list.
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this whole eye contact while giving head. bitch needs to be hard at work not make googly eyes. Better vagnette, when she’s unzipping you. in a movie. or while driving.
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After the handjob you can pay for butthex with da bernanke fiat currency. Lolololololo
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That feeling you get when you don’t have a dick and you can’t answer because none of these apply to you…*cries*
[CH: but women have their own sex-specific “dicknettes”. it would be fun if you drew one up. i’ll add it under the poll in this post as a gift to my lady readers.]
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need a poll for different types of sandwiches. you know, for the ladies.
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Hold on, what’s not for you like about the shower, the skirt and the meadow, to name a few?
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or GBFM?
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Or the blow job, to be fair. I can’t recall a lack of enthusiasm from the ladies, at least.
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I picked the meadow *sigh* so romantic
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Well I can’t give you any ‘personal experience’ options for that poll since I’m waiting until marriage to slut it up… š After that I’m down with anything future-hubby wants from me (except adding another person, feces and pain). But just for kicks, I’d say “gazing upward” or “grabbing hand” are the hottest respective options.
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I take it there is supposed to be an image, or some sort of poll in this post?
All I see on the CH home page is the title followed by “leave comment”.
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It’s a poll.
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Try a different browser. It worked for me on Brave (phone browser) but not Firefox (PC browser)
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Number two, w/o the jizz rope. *Just* a deep, hard, pounding finish.
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Word. I pull out only to let off some steam when my engine is over-revving, gnomesayin.
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Wha? No “peeking through the hole in the sheet”?
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Anal sex…it’s a dominance thing. The sex itself is meh:. It’s like trying to squeeze into a tight parking spot, only to find the parking lot is empty.
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Seriously
Good luck actually getting it in
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yeah, if she’s a small girl it’s not going to be as easy or as clean as you imagine it’s going to be if you know what i mean. there’s only so much room in there. especially for a petite girl.
also as others mentioned, there is the concern that you can do some long term damage. it doesn’t take much for that to happen. not something most men should want to do to women they like or care about.
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Gbfm handjob, or YOU’RE GAY.
I don’t make the rules.
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[…] LikeLike […]
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I thought it would be the first one too but then gbfm…
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i picked the doggy carper, but on a second though… recently in the evening wif3 was doing laundry, i closed the door shut to keep the k1ds out and started making out… in 5 seconds she was wet like the amazon forest and ready to be savaged on the new electrolux… then kids called. such is life. so yea, the whole super soaker is up there close to #1.
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[…] Source: Heartiste […]
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Getting her pregnant, on purpose, is the sexiest thing, by far, hands down, no exceptions.
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Talk about f@cking dominance, that’s ownage. She’s still a girl until you change her body.
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she’s in love
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Anti-Anal Guys crack me up
Nothing says “I own you bitch” quite like Anal.
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What kind of pencil dick do you have to have to enjoy an*l without the fe*r of tearing her butt 0pen?
Maybe you need to read this:
Iām a 23 year 0ld g*y male and recently have noticed what I think might be a partial, muc0sal rectal pr0lapse. I read that receiving an*l sux from s0meone who is wider/larger in cirbumference than average and insufficient l*be may cause this.
My sympt0ms started a few months ago when I noticed some le*kage, bl00d on the t0ilet tissue, and itching. Later, I seemed to feel like I had to.. cl*nch in longer after BMs as it felt like everything wasnāt being pulled back in immediately. I went to the d0ct0r and she thought it might be internal hem0rrh0ids that were c0ming out during BMs, but after a r0und of supp0sitories (w/ an anti-inflammat0ry and a ster0id), I am still having the same sympt0ms. I do notice that there is less of a feeling of things slipping 0ut when I stick to taking Met*mucil a couple times a day so things are s0fter. When I donāt, I tend to have harder, smaller st00ls and more bleeding.
So, my questions:
1) Does rectal pr0lapse seem to be the next r0ute to expl0re? ā I had sex with this individual 0nce and never had any of these sort of pr0blems before him ā and they didnāt seem to devel0p completely until about a m0nth after.
2) If I g0 to the d0ct0r, and it is in fact rect*l pr0lapse, does anyone know if after surgary, an individual can 0nce again be on the receiving end of *n*l sux?
Any help or feedback (even via my destroyed butt) would be greatly appreci*ted. Th*nks!
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you’re right about the risk of damage. especially with a small girl. not something you want to do regularly with someone you like or care about.
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No, kike
Nothing says “I own you bitch” quite like her lovingly nursing your babies.
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(((Peak Finance)))
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Sorry gentleman, anal was stealthily introduced into the straight mindset to justify the moral equivalence of homos with heterosexuals. Basically, the argument boils down to: ” How can it be wrong disgusting, or unnatural, if straight people do it too ? ” . Once again we’ve been had by the ((( Them ))) .
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This, this, and THIS!
All part of the Queer Agenda.
Let alone the orders of magnitude disease vectors from feces and such.
It stinks for a reason, and DUH!
You fairies.
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I concur.
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Additionally, nature / reality always tells the truth. If anal is just another sexual act, the human body wouldn’t respond with pain, torn rectums, and leaking butt-holes. If you want your wife or girlfriend to wear depends for the rest of her life, then go ahead and indulge in this ” loving ” activity.
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Love of anal in hetero relations hints of snuff-fantasy. That hole is not supposed to be penetrated and stretching it out is mutilation.
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Her p*shing out healthy, white 9lb quadruplets and all of the red-f*ced, breath-gushing p*in that involves. Am I right, CO?
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Anal is absolutely an abomination. Fucking in front of floor to ceiling mirrors is fun!
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Genuinely thanking you after sex as if it you did her a collosal favor
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1. Plump, ruby red lips wrapped around your cock head, eyes gazing upward
btdt
2. ļæ¼Delivering an epic doggie style jizz rope across her back
btdt
ļæ¼3. Stand-up sex in a steamy shower, her hand pressed hard against the glass door
we use outdoor crappers around here
ļæ¼4. When she coquettishly asks “will you do me in the ass?”
btdt
5. ļæ¼Reading gbfm comments to you while giving you a handjob
lol, thanks
ļæ¼6. Grabbing your hand and placing it under her skirt so you can feel her gushing pussy
pussy doesn’t exist till i grab the pussy
ļæ¼7. Giving her a Jackson Pollack facial (“you’ve been pollacked!”)
meh
ļæ¼8. Making eye-to-eye love in a tall grass meadow, as sounds of nature murmur over the proceedings
bingo. crickets & pussy.
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Ah…the nature of women…doncha love ’em
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You’ve missed your true calling as a Mills & Boon novelist.
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