lostcausemonaut satirizes,
zuck: “you must turn your right hand 3 times to reinstall my battery, ching-chong. do it wrong & i will spray acid upon you from my mouth parts.”
#ZuccFanFic
I love the #ZuccFanFic series. But keeping to the post’s topic, that weird fingertip exploration that Cuckersperg’s waifu is doing to his back demands a term of art to describe it.
Asiangraze
Hovertap
ETphonehome
Tentacleswarm
The yellow feeler
The waifu probe
The chopstick grip!
If the hoverhand is the physical expression of a beta male feeling anxious and uncomfortable in the presence of a hot chick, worried she might reject him if his hand were to find purchase on her shirt sleeve, then the Chopstick Grip is the physical expression of a girl who is too repulsed by her husband to make full palm contact with his scaly back. Instead, she probes for points of weakness, such as the location of his wallet and the release point for his fear of her dragonlady mother.
Btw, is it possible for Zux to look like a human in any of the photos of him? He always looks like he’s about to molt or catch a fly mid-air.
Do you guys think they’ll have children?
She looks like she’s older than him, and dangerously closed to crossing the infertility threshold
[CH: i think she recently pooped him out a daughter.]
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Any idea who the father is?
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Sum Yung Gai
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Zuckingberg might be the father but it is very likely they used laboratory equipment to put his sperm in her.
not for medical reasons, because she is repulsed by his lack of testosterone.
and because…well… can anyone really imagine him banging a woman like a man should ? can you imagine him banging her so intensely the bed is banging into the wall and sweat is dripping down his chin?
Look at his feminine -non-muscular arms
she probably gets more action when she inserts a tampon than when he delicately non agressively respectfully gently politely slides his pecker inside her in a very feminist-equalist way.
No I don t like him
Any liberal who uses his power and fortune to silence non-liberals, to suppress dissent is below scum to me.
and he stole the idea for Facebook
so he is the fungus that grows on scum.
and I know his people or their accomplice ; the google people ( and their computers) are reading every freakin word we type.
fvck them anyway.
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Same guy who knocked up Kendall Jenner.
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I would venture to bet it’s any white male doctor that she works with.
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I’m aware that she’s supposed to be a doctor, but Wikipedia says she majored in Spanish at Harvard.
That seems a rather curious CV for a Cantonese-speaking refugee.
Some have speculated that S00n-Yi Previn is borderline retarded or else somehow congenitally fucked up, and Woody chose her for that and as a beard for more discreet extracurriculars. Now, that might just be vengeful Mia crazy-talk (she may be White, but she’s clearly psycho in her own right, so who knows fully what happened between those two).
But going to Harvard just to major in Spanish does seem like a pretty low-ambition MRS degree, all things considered. Maybe she’s an idiot.
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–well, fuck my powers of recollection: she took a BA in Biology, “and also studied Spanish”. Maybe she thought that’d help her with being a pediatrician in California.
Nonetheless I doubt she was really the “class genius”. Also about the miscarriages:
“On July 31, 2015, Zuckerberg announced that he and Chan were expecting a baby girl. He said he felt confident that the risk of miscarrying was low so far into the pregnancy, after Chan had already had three miscarriages.”
She was born Feb 24, 1985. The baby was born Dec 1, 2015. So she’d already had three miscarriages with him before the age of thirty.
Those wicked 19th century Scientific Waycisses(TM) always said race mixing tended to sterility.
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In particular, the old race-wise scientists claimed that Whites and Orientals had a difficult time producing viable offspring together. Looks like Jews and Orientals also fall into the category.
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Are you saying there’s Sum Ting Wong?
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miscarriage can also be looked at as “auto-abortion”.
if she’s using chopstick on her hubby, imagine what her body is doing to his fetuses?
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chopstick *hand, ffs
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They have two daughters, their names are Ching and Chong.
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I’ve never seen an Asian gorilla before.
Or is that a shaved panda?
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Ho Li Fuk and Sum Ting Wong
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He seems to have a tiny man boob.
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There are fish that spawn asexually when there are no males around…
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For an Asian, she hit the wall fast.
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Their real names are actually more disturbing. Maxima and August. Zuckerberg fancies himself a Caesar
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Not all gooks are bad:
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Hi, I’m Marky Asperberg. Me and my wall worshiping friends deny your right to exist. When TSHTF and any of you man up and go hunting for enemies, I’ll be laid in the shade as I have me a Chinee wife to go to Beijing. Would the Chinee deny me a place at their table just because I’m an evil bloodsucker that might ruin their whole society?
Me and Mao are close. We can count da money we stole from you and still be safe from drones and bounties. Everybody have fun tonight. Me and mine have put tiny wangs in chung tonight.
Letters from a Shoah in Tibet 2020 AD. The Cursed Earth of Judgement.
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His face says “I should be happy, but I’m not.”
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just read that she miscarried three times before carrying the daughter to term. looks like her womb is even repulsed by him and his spawn
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I think miscarriages are more common in mixed-race couples. But yeah, I wouldn’t be surprised if they’re also more common among women married to betaboys.
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I think miscarriages are more common among mixed-race couples. But yeah, I wouldn’t be surprised if they were also more common among women m4rried to betaboys.
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Soyboys give wombs the dry heaves.
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“Soyboys give wombs the dry heaves.”
heh.. exactly.
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Assuming that the child is actually his…
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[Ripp edit: she pooped out egg, hatched female reptilia jewasian illluminata]
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Minimal Mandatory Touching at work. She must touch him in public, but only the required minimum.
Btw, is it possible for Zux to look like a human in any of the photos of him?
No. Because he’s not. He’s an uber-Bugman.
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Possibly even the Ur-Bugman, the exemplar and prototype of all other bugmen.
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Possibly even the Ur-Bugman,
That would explain some things. But, nah. The Ur-Bugman can’t ever be seen by the world. More likely hidden in a private city under the Alps. Or something.
Zuck could be the Under-Ur-Bugman, training hard to be ready to step up.
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Dude. His. Legs. Bend. The. Wrong. Way.
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“a girl who is too repulsed by her husband to make full palm contact with his scaly back” – priceless.
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[…] Hoverhand, Meet The Chopstick Grip […]
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His closet full of nothing but gray t-shirts was quaint when he was a kid, but c’mon, man, now it’s just a middle finger to the rest of us.
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she so fucking hot for a chink
want
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no she’s not
there are plenty of Chinese or Japanese women who are way better looking than she is
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Rucy Riu she ain’t.
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W-w-what?????????? I may have to pull your man card,pal.
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He lost it long ago.
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Joke, right?
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He’s rich enough to marry someone attractive. Since she’s not attractive, something else is in play. It sure as shit ain’t love.
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“He’s rich enough to marry someone attractive”
He’d have to at least simulate alpha behavior like Harvey the Hutt did. Zuckersperg is nowhere close to even that.
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“He’s rich enough to m4rry someone attractive”
He’d have to at least simulate alpha behavior like Harvey the Hutt did. Zuckersperg is nowhere close to even that.
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Even with all his money, he can’t pull a hottie. Same with Gates. These guys are just so incredibly lame…
By contrast:
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Zuckerberg is going to sell Facebook to the chinks – who’ll rename it ‘Loss of Facebook’ – and use all the demographics data to decide which re-education camp to ship you off to. Hard labor for attention whores – not a bad idea, really.
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don’t have any picture examples handy but i’d say the same goes for girls who curl up their fingers into a fist/closed hand instead of fully open with all her fingers touching him
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yes definitely. That is not open body language!
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Yet another year of spending Valentine’s Day with no date. But then I look at this picture, and it elevates my self esteem. I may be a deplorable, but I’m a deplorable with an extra $200 in my wallet, I don’t have to worry about restaurants or flowers, and I definitely don’t have to look awkward in pictures like the Zuck up there.
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Send this and fill up your dating schedule:
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Also look how far away she’s leaning. She couldn’t lean very much further away without making it look obviously awkward.
I don’t get it though, did he not try ever speaking to a white woman or jewess? Or is his preference simply abo-looking asians?
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fake smile too. Come to think of it she looks vaguely reptilian as well, just like mr.zucc the cucc.
you know how your pupils dilate when you’re looking at something you like/love? yeah she got the opposite of that in this photo all squinty and beady and hsit
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Turning Japanese, she’s turning Japanese, I really think so.
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No, even nips have standards
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It’s especially sad considering how much Asian chicks hang on even the average white dude.
She’s Asian American so maybe that urge is weaker, but I’ve seen it even among Asian chicks born here.
It would be shameful even if he were just a normal dork at some community college somewhere. That he is a powerful billionaire, and is still rejected by his waifu, that’s sad.
I’m guessing she’d take it off for virtually every CH reader after living with him.
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yes but not many CH readers would bother touching her…
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I bet Asian men wouldn’t touch her either, especially considering that they would consider this woman as expired goods.
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proof positive that money can’t buy you love
being a billionaire doesn’t mean she’ll love you. you may get girl’s with money but not for the right reasons
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Cracker,
It may not buy you love, but it may still buy you a hot 19 year old coed. And quite frankly, it’s way cheaper than trying to get girls to love you for you.
And I’m not saying men shouldn’t be wealthy and try to get girls based on that. Just don’t develop oneitis for some woman who you think loves you because she can suck some mean dick. Learn game, buy them a Gucci Bag, preferably a counterfeit one, bang them, and get them an Uber pronto.
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true, i’m not discouraging anyone from making money and being successful but as we can see in this example and many others, money doesn’t guarantee love and devotion. gotta have the game, personality, attitude, etc to keep women as well. money will get you in the door but it won’t keep her unless you’ve the other stuff going for you too
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to add to that, you can also get girls without money if you have the personality for it. we’ve all seen plenty of examples of this.
a lot of men use money as a crutch and don’t develop themselves because they think that’s all they need. big mistake. most likely to get girls who will use and abuse when you do that too
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“for …every CH reader..” Even ExtraFag?
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lol even him.
I’m not really aware what the state rynis with, but I bet she’d let him hit.
Just long distance osmosis from CH probably elevates a man over Zuckerberg.
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I don’t get it though, did he not try ever speaking to a white woman or jewess?
For sure he did try that. With what results? He’s a spergy uber-Bugman.
Or is his preference simply abo-looking asians?
His preference is “any woman-like entity that doesn’t run away”. Or maybe he just doesn’t like Jewesses, a lot of Jewish men don’t. Can’t really blame them.
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he should have gotten an arranged marriage then smh (unless that failed too xD)
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I haven’t met that many Jewish women, but they got that annoying Fran Drescher high pitch voice and bad attitudes. Coming to think about, pretty much every other American girl.
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Maybe hes a fag?
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It’s to get the little chike spawn in position for takeover of the next victim. Sort of a forward scout.
(((listen to me, fellow Chinese, I’m your friend)))
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I printed this out in black and white, wrote ‘happy valentines day’ in a speech bubble coming from the God Emperor and stuck it through her letterbox.
Anybody raise me?
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Those asians and their tentacles amirite
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Come on. She might just be holding something in that hand, thumb to palm. What’s the context? On stage? A presentation? Maybe she’s palming a cell phone or PowerPoint controller or whatever —or the Zuckerborg contingency mini public over-ride re-boot controller.
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Dude (in the red shirt) in this photo is doing some sort of hybrid between the Hoverhand and the Chopstick grip. How about “the finger tip touch”? Palm is not making contact, just the finger tips. http://i1.cmail19.com/ei/r/3E/AAC/C2A/csimport/IMG_7487.074039.JPG
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Vulcan Herb Meld.
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well he looks happy and she ain’t left and asked for money with the two kids i’d say win
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What’s orbiting her jowls in the first pic?
Kehinde ever the rascal?
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I hope Trump calls on Facebook and other social sites to do a better job of reporting really dangerous people like the school shooter Cruz. Trump could have a field day calling out the Tech soy boys who are Media companies. Intsagram delibertly changed Cruz’s time line by deleting screen shots of ISIS shit the dreamer had on his Instagram account less than an hour after the shooting. That’s obstruction and that’s a serious felony. Trump can have a hungry deputy attorney general prosecute for obstruction and crimes against humanity.
One of Cruz’s accounts seemed to display a fascination with ISIS terrorists and Islamic extremism; the other one showcased Cruz wearing a MAGA hat and contained imagery such as him killing toads.
If you guessed that Instagram removed the ISIS one, you got it right. Why would they remove that one but keep the MAGA hat one up? To control the narrative as this story develops. Unfortunately for them, Gateway Pundit has screenshot the entirety of both accounts.
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As much as I despise him I think in this case it is just two people who are not very affectionate in general and can’t fake it in public. They might have good relationship though, in some way if you take his financial success out of the equation they are more or less matching in most aspects and at the time they met nobody knew facebook is going to be such a success.
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Facebook isnt a success. It was forced on the public. It is a shitty product that doesnt even work well and is in decline. Her body language says she has another man on the side.
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that’s some reptilian kinda shit
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[…] Source: Heartiste […]
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Zuckerberg is a Joosian reptile in a human skin-suit a la ‘V’.
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To be fair, she’s holding something under her thumb.
(Maybe it’s a taser for self protection?)
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Her vibrator?
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Interviewed at UCSF for medicine. They made us call his stupid hospital the zuck. I purposely kept saying cuck. No one had the balls to correct me. Needless to say, did not match at UCSF.
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talking miscegenation
I wonder if Jap-Euro pairings are biologically more successful than chink-euro ones.
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Come to think of it, I think it’s possible. From personal observation, half-Japanese sons appear less likely to suffer from Angry Hapa Syndrome.
I read somewhere that northern Chinese, Koreans, and Japanese are a lot more closely related to Europeans genetically than are the southern Chinese. (And the Chinese diaspora in southeast Asia and elsewhere is mainly southern Chinese.) So it would make sense. The fact that Russians not uncommonly look a little bit Japanese would also be a hint that this is the case.
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http://www.syfy.com/sites/syfy/files/styles/1200×680/public/wire/legacy/VULCANPINCH2.jpg
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Betcha dollars to donuts she’s an agent of the PRC.
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Like Rupert Murdoch’s ex:
http://uproxx.com/news/wendi-deng-murdoch-secret-agent/
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Right, skinny relatively attractive Asian or White land whales (whose use-by dates come much more quickly than Asians). Pffffttt. But he obviously hasn’t spent much time in China; his choices would be off the charts, even if they’re just faking it (and who gives a fuck about that).
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