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Chateau Heartiste

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« The Depp Progression
The Visionary »

da GBFM’s Magnum Condom Opus

April 9, 2018 by CH

da GBFM needs no introduction, but does need a Pulzlolzllolzzlitzer. Reprinted in full:

******

TO EE HOW WELL ALL OF YOU BEETATTZ BUNGHOELRZ HAVE BEEN STSUDYDYTING lzozlzozlzlzz

lzozozlzozo da gbfm quiz:

1. The best way to bernankify a woman is through her:
a) nose hole
b) ear hole
c) mouth hole
d) butthozlzoozlz
e) gina hoelez
f) zlzozozlzolzozozoz

2. Tukker MAx rhryems with
a) Goldman sax
b) ben bernanke
c) sosdoomy
d) feminisst writer
e) sextrrive tapingz of buttehtx

3. The proper spellinzg of butthext is:
a) buttheext
b) butetehtxtxtx
c) butetehxtxtxt
d) buetetxlxoooozozoz
e) butetehrolozozozozozoz

4. The neoeocnths promote butyhe buttehxt so as to
a) desoul your womenz
b) beernakify your owmenz and ruin them as motehrz
c) pwn your owmenz and addict them to buttehxt
d) plant the butthextual longing seed that leads to divorce
e) detsory the fmaily to put your chcildren in beernaneke day care
f) all of da above zlzozooozlzoz

5. The following neoenthcts faought and were injured in the Middle East warz:
a) Jonah Goldbergz
b) BEn BErnnanke
c) Bill Crrystal
d) Jonah Goelebrgz mom lucianne goldbergz
e) bene shapriorz
d) none of teh abaovez lzozozozozoozoz

6. Sigmund Freud stated that the one question that puzzled him most was “What do women want?” The famous polymath poet/psychologist GBFM figured it out circa 2011. According to the great GBFM, women want:
a) beta fucks and alpha buckz
b) beta bucks and betasz fucks
c) alpha fucks and alpha fucks
d) alpha fucks and beta bucks
e) alpha fucks, alpha buckz, beta bucks, an all your moneyz too zlozlzlzozoz

7. The best way to gt a publishing deal with a publishing house run by women, or to be featured in a consertaive magazine article penned by women is to:
a) write exlated rhyming poetry
b) butthext a girl and tape it secrtely without her ocnctnt conthent
c) write a story with plot, values, and honor, like homer’s odyssey
d) write a shakeparean sonnet with imanbic pentaammeneterz and a couplet dat ryems at da end lzozlzlzozozoz

8. The difference between modern ministers and pimps is dat
a) pimps will not charge you for past use of a pussy
b) pimps are not fronting a divorce regime which transferz money from menz to owmenz and the state at gunpoint
c) a pimp cannot garnish your wagesz if yo ho beocme preggeersenenlzlzlzlzo
d) a pimp does not ask for donationz
e) a pimp doesn’t claim he’s doing god’s work by grating you temporal use of a pussy in esxhange for past, present, and future wages
f) all of da aboveez zlozlozlzlzozozoz

10. If a womanz is a 3 and 7 alphas pump and dump her in collegez, she will do the math and conldue she is a
a) 3-7 = -4
b) 7-3 = 4
c) 7+3=10 I AM A TEN ZLZOZOZOZO!!!!!!

11. BOUNS BONUS BOENERUS QUETSION EXTRASZ CREDITZ: Chivalry is good because:
a) It gets betas to pay for what alpahs got for free hwen it was younger hotter tighter twnety pounds lighter
b) It guarantees that there will be men with assetetzzz that can be rapaed via dirrvoece
c) granpda said so, “when i was your age son,” i was married and supporting a family. man up and marry da whos!!! lzozloz”

12. The chronalogical chroniloogical chronological economic relationshpipz between ass and assets is:
a) da bankerz get your wife’s ass in college (as thy sefctrievly tape her doeusling in a buttehxtual buttehxting sessisin like tuukker max rheyems woith godlman saxxx) and your assets after divorce
b) your wife givez her azz butthoele away for free in college, and then chagegegrs you moneyz (assetts) just to look at it
c) your wife is butthurt after her ass is plundered in college and den she takes her revenge by plundering your assettsst
d) da bankerz deosul your wife in college by bebenrnakaifying her in her buttholez ass, and den dey program her to transfer your assets to them, fgruataleyfliey transferring your assets out theorugh her bngohole and into their beenrbeeknake bank acocuntz zlzozozozoz
e) all of da above zlozzolzozoz

FEEL FREE TO ADD YOUR OWN QUESTSIOZNZZZZZ!!!! lzozozozoozoz

ESSAY QUESTION: Describe thee relationship between usury and sodomy. Those who cite Milton, Dante, and other historical sources and figures will be given higher scorezz zlzozolzlozlzozlzzozozozozlz

lzozozozolzolz bonus nboenerz wuqestsionz:
#11. I like dating aemrican womenz and western womenz beacues:
a) i like paying for what otherz got for fre when it was younger hotter tghtr twnety poundz lighterz lzozooz
b) i like paying for rental carsz after i return them
c) i like urinalz dat make me pay and make small talk each time i pee
d) i like suiting up in a hazmat suit, self-contained breathing apparatus, snorkel, fins, and thre cans of lysol when i go down on pusysysysys zlzozozlzo
e) i like hearing about how men created all the evil in the world including shoppng malls, cars, ipodz iphonez twitter (clitter/twatter) and even cinabun zlzozozolzozzl

******

In a sane world, GBFM would be hailed a visionary poet on NPR while Ta Nigisi Coates would be doing dreary slam rap on the gay black bar circuit.

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Posted in Funny/Lolblogs, Psy Ops | 74 Comments

74 Responses

  1. on April 9, 2018 at 2:27 pm mendo

    I’m working on the essay question. I find it interesting.

    LikeLike


    • on April 9, 2018 at 2:36 pm da GBFM zlzoolzlzzlzozlzloozozo

      Dear Professor Peterson,

      They are butthetxing and desouling my future wife. Please help.

      Dr. Peterson: Clean your room!

      And so it came to pass that all the women came to have sore bungholes and sordid souls, while all the men had clean rooms, as Jordan willed it.

      lzozoolzoozozozozzo

      LikeLiked by 4 people


      • on April 9, 2018 at 2:39 pm da GBFM zlzoolzlzzlzozlzloozozo

        aoaolzlzozlzozlozolzlz

        when a womanz hits thirty, she asks 2 quetsionsz zlzozzlzo

        1. whwere have all th e good menz gones and
        2. why is my butt sore?

        be sure to read the front and back of theGBFM THONGZ zlzlzlzlzlzlzl which you can take off your fiance you beta herbsz zlzlzloz:
        http://www.cafepress.com/greatbooksformen.653757685

        zzolozzzlzozlzozozozzlzlo omg zlzozozlzoz

        LikeLiked by 1 person


      • on April 9, 2018 at 3:02 pm mendo

        Where is my Homer, where is my magnum opus
        Where have all the GBFM’s gone . . .

        LikeLiked by 1 person


      • on April 9, 2018 at 3:59 pm da GBFM zlzoolzlzzlzozlzloozozo

        lzozolzoo

        lzozozloz

        LikeLike


      • on April 9, 2018 at 5:52 pm SteveRogers42

        Stop! My ribs!

        LikeLike


      • on April 9, 2018 at 7:54 pm cortesar

        LikeLike


    • on April 9, 2018 at 2:39 pm da GBFM zlzoolzlzzlzozlzloozozo

      lzozllzozozozoz

      “da professional womenz ode”

      alpha fucks and beta bucks
      dat is how we roll
      da butthexting cockass we fucks and sucks
      and in our anuthes it doth deosul
      alpha fucks and beta bucks
      it is da way of da fed
      to transfer assetss to dose who butthext
      cuckold dose who pay for our bread
      beta bucks and alpha fucks
      it’s what day teach us we;’re entitled too
      da assetts from betas we plucks
      after da alphas desol us through our hole for poo
      lzozozlzzolzlzlzlz
      cuckold da betas cockhold da alphas
      datsz what day taught us in mba grad school
      as da feiisnsits see no truth nor justice in their laws
      and say da great books for menz was all fools.
      yes, yes, i did very good on my gmats
      dey bernenakifed my soul away, left me with cats

      zlzlzzozozozo

      today da professor GBFM would like to lecture on INFLATION lzozozz

      once upon a times $50,000 would buy yo u a nice house a nice wife two cars and three kids who you could play baseballs with and raise to be nice girls and nice boyz zlzoozoz

      today $1,000,000 will buys you an cassocked assockccoked, embittered, doused, deosueld and bernanenkied butthexed dfeminsistasz who will take %70 70% of oyiry assets in divroce court as ada dirvroce industries forces men to pay for past use oif a pussiezzes which is why da enoeteconths hate prostiutuitions as it does not make man pay for past pussy uyse but only present pussy use and da neococonths hatchet comepetitzzinonszz lzozlzlzoz, and dat $1,000,000 will be used to pay your wives dirvocre attorney and fund her future as socking sesisosns dat day got her hooked on in college during da prrima noctae asosckingszz seeisosnsnsns lzozlzozozo and den da $1,000,000 will be whittled down furthers buying presscirtption drugs for your dumbed down drugged up kids who you never get to see because ebernenekifiers seized den as poker chips in da fed’s wealth transfer games zlzozlzl

      so now you see da definition of butthex, wealth-rttrannsfeeringz INFLATION lzozozlzlzoz

      ust remember dat many are not ready to be unbuttblugged from da matrix lzlzzllzzlzl

      so many have been butthexed for so long dat 2 try 2 take da life-sucking cockas outta der anuth will result in dem h8ing h8ing h8ing u and defending da tucker max rheyems with bgoldman sax buttehxtteetrszz zlzozlzzooz

      like next tim eu are out with a chick, ask her,

      “so how does it feel 2 be da first generation of oemenz buttcocked and deosuled by da federlr reseverssZZ? lzozozozozozz”

      lzlzozozozzoz

      dis is why it is better to just hooks ups with da owmenz da desouled womenz rather than try to talk or reasons or logic with demzz lzozozlz

      zlzoozzozozo

      LikeLike


      • on April 9, 2018 at 4:49 pm PBR Streetgang

        This ode has always been my favorite

        LikeLike


      • on April 9, 2018 at 10:02 pm hbconservancy

        Dear GBFM: Will you please submit the following to Cosmopolitan Magazine in my name (I’m too shy to do it myself). Thank you, Master. (I owe you everything I know!).

        I take issue with 7:
        Woman-Worship is heaven!
        To drop to one’s knees
        E’er seeking to please
        And fore’er find her cold
        While longing to hold
        That female form fair,
        Yet to e’er find despair!
        She giveth her fux
        To Alpha-in-Tux;
        I’ll give her my bucks.
        My Beta life sucks,
        But not so my Dame;
        Yet fore’er burns my flame!

        LikeLike


    • on April 9, 2018 at 3:23 pm da GBFM zlzoolzlzzlzozlzloozozo

      They can butthext our wivez
      but they will never
      butthext our freeeedommmmzz!!

      lzlzozozzolz

      LikeLike


  2. on April 9, 2018 at 2:29 pm da GBFM zlzoolzlzzlzozlzloozozo

    lozozlzlzo such an honor heartistzttes!!!

    i deidicte dis next ditty to da hearrsisttez

    zlozzozlzlzolzooz

    LikeLiked by 3 people


    • on April 9, 2018 at 2:30 pm da GBFM zlzoolzlzzlzozlzloozozo

      WE CAN’T STOP
      by ben ebernake zlzozlzzo
      It’s our House (& Senate) we can do what we want
      It’s our Fed we can print what we want
      It’s our dollar we can bankrupt who we want
      We can bailout who we want
      We can butthext who we want (2x)

      Red commies and sweaty neoconz everywhere
      Hands in the air like we don’t care
      Cause we came to make so much debt now
      And the betas here must pay it all now.

      If you’re not ready to go home
      Can I get a hell no
      Cause we gonna pump all night
      Till we see hyperinflation alright

      So la da di da di, we like fiat currency
      Dancing with Bernanke
      Doing whatever we want
      This is our Fed
      This is our rules
      And we can’t stop
      And we won’t stop printing
      Can’t you see it’s we who own the right
      Can’t you see it we who bout’ thug life
      And we can’t stop
      And we won’t stop
      We run things, Things don’t run we
      We take everything from everybody

      It’s our Fed we can bernankify who we want
      It’s our dollar we can print we want
      It’s our party we can bomb who we want
      We can butthext who we want
      We can bankrupt who we want

      To my Keynsians here with the big butts
      Shaking it like we at a strip club
      Remember only Greenspan can judge ya
      Forget the haters cause Bernanke loves ya
      And everyone in line in the bathroom
      Trying to get a line in the bathroom
      Inflation so turned up here
      Getting turned up, yeah, yeah

      So la da di da di, we inflate with glee
      Pumping with Bernanke
      Doing whatever we want
      This is our Fed
      This is our rules
      And we can’t stop
      And we won’t stop
      Can’t you see it’s we who own the right
      Can’t you see it we who bout’ thug life
      And we can’t stop
      And we won’t stop
      We run things
      Betas don’t run we
      We take everything from everybody

      It’s our Fed we can pump what we want
      It’s our dollar we can inflate all we want
      It’s our congress we can buy who we want
      We can butthext who we want
      We can bailout who we want

      It’s our Fed we can do what we want to
      It’s our House (& Senate) we can butthext who we want to
      It’s our country we can quantitiative ease if we want to
      It’s your mouth you shall suck when we want you to
      Yea, Yea, Yeah

      And we can’t stop printing
      And we won’t stop inflating
      Can’t you see it’s we who own the right
      Can’t you see it we who bout’ thug life
      And we can’t stop
      And we won’t stop
      We run things
      Betas don’t run we
      We take everything from everynody
      Yea, Yea, Yea

      LikeLiked by 3 people


      • on April 9, 2018 at 3:24 pm Major7

        Somebody with tech savvy could could dub in GBFM’s lyrics

        LikeLike


  3. on April 9, 2018 at 2:35 pm Corinth Arkadin

    HOLY SHIT DUDE
    I hate to compare GBFM to Abe Lincoln, but that was his Gettys(((berg))) Address.

    LikeLiked by 1 person


    • on April 9, 2018 at 2:37 pm da GBFM zlzoolzlzzlzozlzloozozo

      lzozlzlzlzol

      seeeee, a woman is prorgammed to get money from all men assetsts form all men, and pserm form one or two–”Heartisst & GBFM).
      so if you give them attention, this is a form of payement, and they will eat all your atention and they can keep their pants on and then use thier pussy cpaital on other men to get the asshole’s attention lzozlzzozzl who they take their pants off, as without taking tehir pants off he ignores dem zozozlzozl
      so you see heartsitse is a very nice guy when he is with the trhee fy honies givingthem oroagagssmmss pleasusres with teheir pussy pansts down lcockc lcickisisnsg zlzolzlzozozlzozol
      while of course wearing now weairng
      da gbfm patent-pending hazmat suit to be used for all ebernakkifeid ameinrnzaaa omenz over da egage of 19 and a half years zlzozlzooz
      someetimss a nice gif for your mwoman is an orgasmssisnsnm orgasmss by your tongueueue tonguee zlzozozl zgoing down zlzlzlzlozol
      but then you want to proeetect yourself from da gift dat keeps on giving!! da STDs they implant on yoru wifes buttocks and ginal regions in coolege to humilatee you with cockr rot zlzzozool
      and when u go down on ana meeican american bernankifieid woman lzlzlzl be sure 2 have the following!!
      1. nuclear-proof hazmat suit
      2. self-conatained breathing appartataus with backup
      3. kevlar vets and helmet
      4. snorkel and goggles
      5. map and compass on case she gots some busshshses or gianat mouantaianan ginal warts to naviagate aorunndd
      6. three pairs of surgicial gloves
      7. 7 cansisters of lysol
      8. two-way radio oncase da smsegegsgs gets thickck zlozllzolzoz
      9. caribeener and meals ready to eat
      10. diving nose blugs zlzlzl
      11. fins to help u swims through da gbfm/heartisste sploogegege left over form when she wa ysyounger hotter ligheter and thiryty pounds lighter giving it wassysw for free but now youss gottaaa paays zlzlzooz

      lzlzozozoz

      LikeLiked by 2 people


  4. on April 9, 2018 at 2:40 pm Titus

    Why is it so easy to envision GBFM as the head of a sex cult on some remote shanty ranch surrounded by HB9 chicks rebelling against daddy?

    LikeLike


    • on April 9, 2018 at 2:44 pm da GBFM zlzoolzlzzlzozlzloozozo

      Probably because your mom made up lies about your father, son, as womenz are prone to do when der mate is an alphalzlzoz.

      lzozozozozolzzolzol

      LikeLike


    • on April 9, 2018 at 2:46 pm da GBFM zlzoolzlzzlzozlzloozozo

      hey hertaistetsts!! dA after much study nd reflectionsz like PLATO, da GBFM figured sometinsgz outs eiculicd logicalz!!

      why do so many women vote for leftist governmentsz?

      because leftist govenerments enforce da Alpha fux beta bucks system at gun point!!

      obammasz tellz womenz “if you vote for me, you can ficky ficy and butthext all da thugsz, and i will criminalize white mensz for complimenting your hair in the workplace, and send da police state to grab and sconfisce da BETAs tax dollarsz zlzzlzloo and give them to you and your bastard chcildrenz, if yo vote for mez and da obammsz kangz lozlzoozolzozo”

      LikeLiked by 5 people


  5. on April 9, 2018 at 2:48 pm da GBFM zlzoolzlzzlzozlzloozozo

    The Buitthext Matrix:

    Neocon: A black cat went past us, and then another that looked just like it.
    Trinity: How much like it? Was it the same cat?
    Neocon: It might have been. I’m not sure.
    Morpheus: Switch! Apoc!
    Neocon: What is it?
    Trinity: A déjà vu is usually a glitch in the butthexMatrix. It happens when they change something. Now that I am an aging women in the butthex matrix with her eggs and gina drying up having given the best years of her anus to drunk alphas during her college desouling years via massively multiplayer asscockig in the butt sessions and getting her fiat mba (masters of butthexing in da Anus) and blowing upper level mangement lzozllz, the butthexmatrix is now delivering my cats. Two this morning and now two more. yaya! lozlzl

    lzozolzozoz

    LikeLiked by 5 people


    • on April 9, 2018 at 2:51 pm da GBFM zlzoolzlzzlzozlzloozozo

      under 25: bring da moviez! but not da butt-team edward onez with da faggy makeup sparkly bunghoeleoozzo
      over 30: bring da movies! but not your box editcitionz of Sex in the cCty as i don’t wanna have to think of your arm fat hangingz off your armz before i am forced to see it turkey neckz zlzzozlzozo

      under 25: lotsas cokas 4u! (assuming u r legalz lzozozo)
      over 30: lotsas cokas 4u! (gonna take alotz! it’s like throwing a hotdog down a hallway with your strecthed-out vag zllzo)

      under 25: i don’t wanna get u pregnant (assuming it’s even possible zlzozi)
      over 30: i don’t wanna get u pregnant (assuming it’s stills possible zlzozi)

      32? you’re 32?????!!??

      i’ll be right back!! gotta go get my “going down on over 30 year old chciks suit” which includesz:

      1. diving mask
      2. snorkel
      3. full body haz-mat suit (NASA approved)
      4. self-contained breathing apparatus
      5. 7 cans of industrial-strenght lysol
      6. leaf-blower to get all the dust off
      7. two-way radio
      8. emergency beacon
      9. hip-length rubber bootz for wading in the muck
      10. robotic arm to rub your cliztztzlzlzuzlzlzizzlzlzzoz

      LikeLiked by 3 people


      • on April 9, 2018 at 2:52 pm da GBFM zlzoolzlzzlzozlzloozozo

        :LZOZOZOZZOL HONOR YOUR FATHERS: HONOR THE GREAT BOOKS FOR MEN! READ THE GREAT BOOKS! LZOZOZLOZOLZOLZOZ ™ zlozozolzolzlzo

        The renaissance hath begun.

        As Athena called Telemachus to adventure–to sail forth and learn the news of His True Father Odysseus, so too does GBFM call upon ye to man up, sail forth, and learn the news of your true Fathers.

        Like Hamlet you came of age in a world where your father–THE GREAT BOOKS FOR MEN–had been murdered. Where they had been debauched, debased, bernenekfified out of the fiat-debt curriculum. And just as Hamlet’s Father called upon Him to Avenge his Death and Set the World Right, so too do I call upon all of ye buton-mashing gamersz and manboob betasz churchians to Man Up and Honor Your True Fathers.

        Like Odysseus’s son Telemachus you came of age in a house occupied by false suitors trying to buttehxt your mom Penelope alongside your future wife, deosuling her faster than Bill Bennett can gamble away a million dollars in Vegas. You came of age in a home absent of your true Father–Odysseus and THE GREAT BOOKS FOR MEN.

        Like Telemachus and Hamlet, you were born to know of your Fathers and do the work of your Fathers, as did Jesus. And like Jesus, you were born into a fallen world occupied by arrogant neeoconth Scribes and Pharisees, lorded over by intellectually-indifferent Pontius Pilates, ruled by mobs (and female prison wardensz lzozlz) who vote to set the murderer free, while sending Jesus to die upon the Cross.

        But all of that was then, and This is Now.

        Do not fail to Honor your Fathers by neglecting to live for the Classical, Epic Honor that so many of them not only Lived for, but Died For.

        Do not turn away from the vast Gifts they bequeathed you with–THE GREAT BOOKS AND CLASSICS.

        Begin today, begin today, all ye fanboyz mashing buttonz in your single-mom’s basements, all you PUA artsitsz trying to get your occkas wet in sterile bungholez and sterilized ginaholez made sterile by the fed’s before and morning after pillz. Begin today, all my fatherless, ritalin-addicted, gold-farming sons and READ the GREAT BOOKS FOR MEN.

        Learn of the HONOR of your FATHERS form Achilles and Moses on down. The tiny-cckcoaaks white-knighting Churchians will scowl and stamp their feet and scream at you that Jesus cam to Abolish the Law, while Jesus himself stated that He came to Fulfill it.

        When you were a child ye partook in childish things–in mashing buttons in your meaningless videogamez.

        But now that you are a Man, it is time to Man Up, which does not mean marrying a babebrnekified beenrnakified butethxted, desouled, single monz, but reading THE GREAT BOOKS FOR MEN.

        Begin today my firendz. BEGIINZ TODAYZ.

        I propose that a renaissance in the Great Books and Classics is needed so as to re-instill a more traditional Code of Honor which will enrich the lives of men, women, and children, and liberate us all from the debt-financed debauchery, deconstruction, and debasement.

        All men should begin immediately by reading the following books which the central bankers and their fellow churchians hate, fear, and detest:

        THE BIBLElzozoz
        Homer’s Iliadzlozo
        Homer’s Odysseyzlzolololz
        Exodus & Ecclesiastes & The Psalms
        Virgil’s Aeneidzlozozlz
        Socrates’ Apologylzozo
        The Book of Matthew & Jefferson’s Biblezlzlzozo

        And as men are reading the Great Books for Men, they must start enacting their principles in the living world, so as to exalt our legal system and universities, for it is not enough to think and read, but virtue is ultimately defined by *action*.

        LikeLiked by 4 people


    • on April 9, 2018 at 3:21 pm Major7

      Delivering my cats!!!

      LikeLike


  6. on April 9, 2018 at 2:49 pm da GBFM’s Magnum Condom Opus | @the_arv

    […] da GBFM’s Magnum Condom Opus […]

    LikeLike


  7. on April 9, 2018 at 2:52 pm yewotm8

    Great Blackpills for Men

    LikeLike


  8. on April 9, 2018 at 3:04 pm Hackett To Bits

    “c) 7+3=10 I AM A TEN ZLZOZOZOZO!!!!!!”
    The hamster, exposed!

    LikeLike


    • on April 9, 2018 at 3:13 pm Alex the Goon

      A 3 pump-n-dumped by 7 Alphas = Fraternity hazing ritual

      LikeLike


      • on April 9, 2018 at 3:52 pm Jay in DC

        They wish… don’t forget to throw her through a glass table too because that always happens…

        LikeLike


  9. on April 9, 2018 at 3:05 pm Les Saunders, Protestant

    Great Books for Men is a prophet. He should be hailed far and wide as one who has vividly distilled the problems of moderin society.

    I have to admit, when I first started reading Heartiste a few years back, I skipped past his poasts, thinking they were the work of some black guy vandalizing the kkk0mment section.

    Little did I know.

    Lzzlzzlozzomgllzzzozl

    LikeLike


    • on April 9, 2018 at 3:32 pm da GBFM zlzoolzlzzlzozlzloozozo

      i luvs you allls o ye of little faith

      to all the spinsters with cats
      who teh fed tricked into spinsterhood/serving debt lxolllozlzl
      to all the fanboys in ther single mom’s basements
      whose dads they never knew because the fed tookawy fatehrhood lzozlzl
      to all the broken familes
      who were split up by the need to make two salaries to feed the kids
      to all aging necon womenz celeberating secretive tapings of butthex without teh girlths conthent lzozllzlzozlzl they tircked you too
      to all the spinster chix again i am sorry they sdesouled you
      in asscokcing sessins drugged you up on prozac
      told you to abort your kids no wonder your’re d[pressed and all fucjked up no lozlzlzlzling here
      my heart goes out to you while tucker max & goldman sax laugh zlzolzlzl
      too all the aborted fetushes we ask for forgiveness we deserve not and to all those tricked into aborting the gift of life lzozllzllzl we forgive u too and pray for teh fethuses, but not in school as prayer is illegal in school lozlzllzlz
      to all those inthe rising genertaion who will have to pay off their parents cultural and monetary debts lzozlz war isn’t fun but it’s part of teh fed’s fiat bubble cycle lzozlzllz so like after th e country goes bust the war starts in the ultimate pump and udmp scheme you thought enron/worldcom/fannae mae was bad lolzozlzlz just you wait lzozlzlll i hope not and ai pray for peace lozlzlz maybe we can all learn to live and get along but i think we would have to start with truth and nobility and honor and ocurage and virtue and not with fiat debt and butthex lozlzlzl that’s just nmy gues from reading heroduts and the great boooks and classis in greek and latin zlzolzllzlzl

      and the bible too about sodom and gomorroah did yuknow taht sodomycame form sodom and gonnoreah came from gommroah? lzozllz kidding about that second one i doubt it did but maybe who knows i have never had eitehr sodomy nor gonorreah and i ahve never been to sodom nor gomoorrah

      sodom must;ve been a funny place lzolzlozolllzzll and a crazy party or two and the editor in chiefstress priscilla painton at simon and schuster would have fit right in publishing tucker max’s books yah i betin gmorrah they had a tower of babel with the ofices of simon and schuster at the top across the hall form the fed lzozlzlzllzlzlzlzllzlzlz

      sometimes i wonder if poets and prophets can still change the world?

      or have they trainde too, too many women to hate, and dumbed down and drugged up too many menz? have they destoryed too many fathers and killed to many families? have the y deocnstructed tyoo many books and spilled too much blood and aborted too many fetuthes as one is one too many. have they prescribed ritalin to too many cretaive sols in chool in prozac to too many who need to be depressed and face it when they abort fetuses as god gave us feelings and makes us not pay attention to boring stae corproate teachers as all creativity comes from not paying attention to the state lzozlzzll and now it is diagnoses as a diseas lzozlzlz.

      lozlzlzzlzl

      well juust wanted to say i luv u all and nice 2 know ya and welcomes abords lzozlzl

      and 2 asnwer my own above questions
      let me jsut say
      teh great books
      wouldn’t be great
      if they weren’t immortal
      and they offer us redemption
      the moment we start living by tehir ideasl
      and epic higher stories
      so put down your hate and your secretive butthex tape
      and pick up a cross
      and come follow me
      and let me shoulderyour burden
      for my yoke is light
      dante wrote la vita nuova–the new life
      and it is time 4 u to find your new life
      for to loseth one’s old way is to fuind the new path
      so do not fear
      lozlzlzlzlzlz omg wtf am i saying lzozlzlz
      i almost blew my cover here as teh messiah lzozlzllll i hide it beind all my lzozlzllzlzlzlzlzlzlles but a couple of you ahve caught on lzozlzlzlzllzlzl

      LikeLiked by 4 people


      • on April 10, 2018 at 10:47 am iO

        creativity comes from not paying attention to the state lzozlzzll and now it is diagnoses as a diseas

        Creativity is freedom + intelligence. Freedom + intelligence can never not be the enemy of power.
        Those who “diagnose” (mental illness) today are the proud heirs to those who “diagnosed” (sin and damnation). Power-adoring power-seekers; machines who see as bad/wrong/to be removed whatever is less powerful than they are, and the opposite as to whomever is above them in power (they never “diagnose” the elite, no matter how obviously the elite is possessed of certain often-diagnosed traits).

        The last DSM has some 250+ “conditions” to be “diagnosed”.
        Power; power; power; always rationalized.

        Powerful men are so similar with females.

        LikeLike


      • on April 10, 2018 at 10:48 am iO

        and it is time 4 u to find your new life
        for to loseth one’s old way is to fuind the new path
        so do not fear
        lozlzlzlzlzlz omg wtf am i saying lzozlzlz

        🙂

        Paths find the worthy; we can’t find anything that hasn’t found us.

        omg wtf a mi tellin gyou yo uobvious lyknow it

        LikeLike


    • on April 9, 2018 at 3:39 pm Corinth Arkadin

      I, too, have been following the Adventures of GBFM for almost a decade (I think) on various and sundry platforms. At first, I was confused but mildly amused. Now I have come to appreciate the sublime genius that is GBFM lololololololzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

      LikeLike


      • on April 9, 2018 at 3:44 pm da GBFM zlzoolzlzzlzozlzloozozo

        Foxes have dens and birds have nests, but the Son of Man has no blog to lay his head. lzozozlzlozlzo

        LikeLiked by 5 people


  10. on April 9, 2018 at 3:09 pm fleezer

    “why do so many women vote for leftist governmentsz?

    because leftist govenerments enforce da Alpha fux beta bucks system at gun point!!”

    red pilled and deep undercover as a far far leftist total redistributionalist

    living like a jesuit, fucking braindead hbs in secret

    sniping the trump girls like the easy meat they are

    trump girls hedge, knowing they get some order (consistent bux) and then get their itches scratched under the table while hubby is off making america great for suburban sluts again

    can you speak progressive, but stink like T?

    would you bring a philly cheesesteak to a vegan pot luck?

    if an unclaimed hb8 progressive puppy gets a whif of the chance to play maga, she’s puppy putty in a secret red pilled far right shitlords hands

    there are so many angles of approach in the current smp I can’t imagine how anyone would ever stop trying before they get what they want

    LikeLike


  11. on April 9, 2018 at 3:18 pm CadGore

    A gentleman and a scholar. We need more like him.

    LikeLike


  12. on April 9, 2018 at 3:18 pm HoneyBear

    All true, all true of course.

    In a sane-ifying world, GBFM’s collabs with Daft Punk would be #1s on the charts. All the little strumpets, whole and desouled, would squeal with delight in the crowds, pumping their delicate fists and bobbing their empty heads.

    LikeLiked by 1 person


  13. on April 9, 2018 at 3:19 pm Dolan Duk

    Wtf did i just read?

    LikeLike


    • on April 9, 2018 at 3:21 pm da GBFM zlzoolzlzzlzozlzloozozo

      Dolan Duk’s mom: Wtf did i just suck?

      same thing dat your son just read! da lostas cockas of da gbfm!

      lzozozolzlzlo

      LikeLiked by 1 person


    • on April 9, 2018 at 3:21 pm da GBFM zlzoolzlzzlzozlzloozozo

      Dr. Jordan Peterson: Clean your room, young man! Your wife’s son likes a clean room, as does her personal trainer.

      LikeLiked by 2 people


  14. on April 9, 2018 at 3:25 pm Pseudo

    Was that even fucking english?

    [CH: it was more than english. it was biblical code.]

    LikeLike


    • on April 9, 2018 at 3:29 pm da GBFM zlzoolzlzzlzozlzloozozo

      lzozozllzlzoz

      lzozozlozzlllozo

      LikeLiked by 1 person


    • on April 9, 2018 at 3:53 pm Jay in DC

      https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0382625/?ref_=nv_sr_1

      You can unlock the secrets of the ages just like this once you understand it.

      It’s like Neo in the matrix. Once you can “see” the green shit flying around you end up like GBFM, for better or worse.

      LikeLike


    • on April 9, 2018 at 5:55 pm Jonathan Castle

      GBFM spaesks in tongulzzlzzolsllz.

      We can only understand part, but it is all Heaven sent.

      LikeLike


    • on April 10, 2018 at 6:40 am oink

      starving hohols and Franz Ferdinand’s squirting jugular agree:

      nothing wrong with fucking the english

      LikeLiked by 1 person


  15. on April 9, 2018 at 3:34 pm fleezer

    “getting her fiat mba (masters of butthexing in da Anus)”

    that’s beacause her pussy is finished after getting her fiat B.S. (blasting da slophouse)

    “And so it came to pass that all the women came to have sore bungholes and sordid souls, while all the men had clean rooms, as Jordan willed it.”

    a man needs not his own room to make many a ladies’ bungholes sore

    “so now you see da definition of butthex, wealth-rttrannsfeeringz INFLATION lzozozlzlzoz”

    inflation cannot steal from the man who uses their system against them

    LikeLike


  16. on April 9, 2018 at 3:34 pm Ted Colt

    essay response

    I keep this concise so no man can claim ignorance.

    While Milton and Dante describe the relationship between usury and sodomy, Aristotle earlier related that usury, like sodomy, attempts to reproduce unnaturally: in the case of usury, of money without work, in the case of sodomy, children without labor. Each avoids the curse of original sin, that a man shall labor in the fields, and a woman shall endure pain to deliver children.

    LikeLiked by 4 people


    • on April 9, 2018 at 3:37 pm da GBFM zlzoolzlzzlzozlzloozozo

      A+++++++++++++++++++!!!

      lozozlzzozo

      https://marginalrevolution.com/marginalrevolution/2013/05/sodomy-and-usury.html
      “Aristotle’s linkage of non-procreative sex with usury profoundly influenced Christian thinkers. Thomas Aquinas, whose Summa Theologica codified the fusion of Aristotle with Christianity, argued that sodomy and usury were both “sins against nature, in which the very order of nature is violated, an injury done to God himself, who sets nature in order.” Echoing Aquinas, Dante placed sodomites and usurers in the same circle of Hell in the Divine Comedy. ”

      lzozozozozlllozozlzlozobuthzttettxtxlzozo

      LikeLike


      • on April 9, 2018 at 3:52 pm Ted Colt

        it was a topic of Sunday school during my teens

        LikeLike


      • on April 9, 2018 at 4:05 pm Ted Colt

        alternatively: jews

        LikeLike


    • on April 9, 2018 at 3:39 pm mendo

      Excellent summary, TC.

      Well done.

      LikeLike


  17. on April 9, 2018 at 3:42 pm guest

    Tucker Max? I enjoyed his stuff back in the 2000s. ZFG alpha even if fictional back before a lot of us had a clue. Yeah he disavowed and talked shit about PUA but he’s not anon so I get it, it’s current year and the rules have changed.

    Same thing with this Jordan Peterson shit. Better that he not throw away his status and influence by going full Nehlen. #opticscuck

    LikeLike


  18. on April 9, 2018 at 3:50 pm Major7

    Alt-Right History: we started out looking for the truth about women, and once we found it we then found out the truth about race. The next leg is discovering the truth about (((usury))).

    LikeLiked by 1 person


    • on April 9, 2018 at 6:28 pm OSP

      (((joosury)))

      LikeLike


    • on April 10, 2018 at 6:56 am plumpjack

      question about usury: how can great civilizations exist without it? pay as you go? that seems absurd.

      if the nation next to you is willing to leverage their children’s future and buy a bigger army and bigger weapons so they can come take all your shit, but you just sit there praying they don’t because “muh usury! must keep the books balanced!”….I mean, how is that supposed to work?

      LikeLike


      • on April 10, 2018 at 12:02 pm Major7

        Nations within Christendom did survive (and thrive, by the standards of the day), but it’s a complicated issue, and just removing usury now would undoubtedly tear everything apart.

        No usury doesn’t mean no loans, just no loans at interest (conjuring up money out of thin air). For example, a government can agree to a no-interest business loan if it deems the business likely to be favorable to public interest, and if the business succeeds the gov’t will make money on said business through taxes.

        Just one example in a complicated issue, but it’s absolutely doable if the framework changes (like going back to the gold standard, etc.)

        Libya had a national bank before we droned Gaddafi to death, and from what I understand Libya had a very stable economy and, by Middle Eastern standards, was affluent and growing. It’s national bank issued no-interest loans, and was separate and untethered to the (((world banks))). Now, of course, the national bank is gone, replaced by the (((world banks))).

        To answer your question though, it doesn’t work here, and really can’t, not until DOTR and the Restoration.

        LikeLike


      • on April 10, 2018 at 12:26 pm plumpjack

        thanks, Major.

        LikeLike


  19. on April 9, 2018 at 5:04 pm Prisoner of Azkaban

    Gbfm was talking about dc pizza in 2012….

    LikeLike


  20. on April 9, 2018 at 6:05 pm YIH

    Niiiccceeee! And one for you: ”Whiskey”
    [Sung to the tune of Smash Mouth’s ”All Star”] https://youtu.be/L_jWHffIx5E

    Somebody once told me
    The Jews are gonna roll me
    But at least I’ve got a wife in my bed
    Now I’m feelin’ kinda hot
    With some stranger in her twat
    And the web of his sperm on her forehead

    Well the spics start coming, and they don’t stop coming
    Swarming the schools, and they hit the ground running
    Didn’t make sense not to let them in
    They’re just like us but with well-tanned skin

    Open her legs, open the gates
    So what’s wrong with wanting invasion?
    We’ll never know if we don’t try
    She might get off with another guy

    Hey now, you’re a cuckold
    Get your wife fucked, go gay
    Hey now, you got bankrolled
    Get elected, get paid
    And all your pledges are lies
    Cuckolds love to watch while we die

    It’s a white place, but they say it gets darker
    The mix is bad now and will only get starker
    But the media men beg to differ:
    Import them all and your cock’ll get stiffer

    There is no way they won’t get in
    The border’s almost gone so they might as well swim
    My wife’s on fire, how about yours?
    That’s the way I like it and I’ll never get bored

    Hey now, you’re a cuckold
    Get your wife fucked, go gay
    Hey now, you got bankrolled
    Get elected, get paid
    And all your pledges are lies
    As the world invades, Boehner cries

    Her lover once asked would I take it up the ass
    Since he used up every one of her holes.
    I said, “Yep! What a concept! I could use a little spunk myself!
    (And there’s very little left of our souls…)”

    Hey now, you’re a cuckold
    Get your wife fucked, go gay
    Hey now, you got bankrolled
    Get elected, get paid
    And all your pledges are lies
    But here comes Donald Trump with a surprise

    LikeLiked by 1 person


    • on April 10, 2018 at 2:44 am justwanttocommentblog

      Excellent!

      LikeLike


    • on April 10, 2018 at 6:18 am gunslingergregi

      nice

      LikeLike


  21. on April 9, 2018 at 6:26 pm da GBFM’s Magnum Condom Opus | Reaction Times

    […] Source: Heartiste […]

    LikeLike


  22. on April 9, 2018 at 7:36 pm Jonathan Castle

    GBFM,

    Jeffersons Bible? No. Just fuck no.

    That’s a bernankefication of the Bible to suit Jefferson’s ‘enlightened’ sensibilities. Down that road leads misery.

    Next thing you know, bitchezolzz be thinking men should submit to them.

    LikeLike


  23. on April 9, 2018 at 7:40 pm Rick Derris

    Da GBFM = Brilliant. Always great stuff.

    Except Fucker Max rhymes with “failure.”

    LikeLiked by 1 person


  24. on April 9, 2018 at 7:55 pm snowdensjacket0x0x0

    And game will save us, amen.

    LikeLike


  25. on April 9, 2018 at 8:42 pm cortesar

    I met a traveler from an antique land
    Who said: “Two vast and trunkless legs of stone
    Stand in the desert . . . Near them, on the sand,
    Half sunk, a shattered visage lies, whose frown,
    And wrinkled lip, and sneer of cold command,
    Tell that its sculptor well those passions read
    Which yet survive, stamped on these lifeless things,
    The hand that mocked them, and the heart that fed:
    And on the pedestal these words appear:
    ‘My name is Ozymandias, king of kings:
    Look on my works, ye Mighty, and despair!’
    Nothing beside remains. Round the decay
    Of that colossal wreck, boundless and bare
    The lone and level sands stretch far away.”

    pbs-we wuz kangz

    LikeLike


    • on April 10, 2018 at 2:54 am oink

      The white sow returning to its pre-Christ mire

      the westhajnalian bitch retuning to its vomit

      don’t cut yerselbs on that edge, douchebags

      LikeLike


      • on April 10, 2018 at 7:49 am guest

        oink, you’re Catholic as you’ve noted, so you do realize your comment faggotry is sinful (cf canon law 6969lozlzl) and unbecoming of a member of the Church, right? Not to mention really annoying. You do bring this up in confession, right? Just looking out for your soul brah.

        LikeLike


      • on April 10, 2018 at 9:44 am oink

        homie,

        careful with that edgy ((sex-snark))

        LikeLiked by 1 person


      • on April 10, 2018 at 9:46 am oink

        and thanx for yer “concern”

        LikeLiked by 1 person


  26. on April 9, 2018 at 9:24 pm DeNihilist

    The Dao of Patsy Cline

    Listen intently you who weep with despair
    Open your souls to this woman’s care.
    Realize that is is she who is crying
    And it is you who should be flying

    LikeLike


  27. on April 9, 2018 at 9:53 pm JR

    GBFM, you sat out Yellen’s entire tenure at CH…now she’s gone and it’s Bernanke and butthexing…are you telling us something, Janet?

    LikeLike


  28. on April 10, 2018 at 5:19 am Marellus

    Stay as you are GBFM

    LikeLike


    • on April 10, 2018 at 10:33 am iO

      Don’t think someone in his hell-heaven may go back to normie earth (it’s not even an option).

      b) your wife givez her azz butthoele away for free in college, and then chagegegrs you moneyz (assetts) just to look at it

      zlozlzol

      LikeLike



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