How To Manage The Hysterically Jealous Girlfriend

A jealous girlfriend isn’t necessarily an obstacle to an award-winning relationship. In fact I’d argue that a woman’s jealousy is the solar energy of sustainable romance. When she’s jealous, you’re desired. And when you’re desired, she’s not MIA for twisted bedsheet time.

Ideally, you want to stoke a little jealousy in your woman, sporadically and with varying intensity and duration, so that it’s never predictable and she can dismiss it as another one of your effortgoads to secure her love. Too little jealousy is a recipe for cuntplacency. Too much jealousy risks a relationship blowout. Be baby bear’s porridge.

Inciting bouts of manageable jealousy is the heart of Dread Game. However, there will be times you overstep and drive your girl insane in the femmebrain with self-doubt and fear of loss. When this happens, I have a mitigation plan that won’t let you down. When she melts down accusing you of cheating or some other affront to her faithful womanhood, put on your best amused mastery face and, smiling broadly like a cat who just caught a mouse, reply,

“Wow you are REALLY jealous right now. This is so awesome!”

She’ll check herself before wrecking herself. Expect her to be confused or charmed (in women, these two states are often the same), and watch as the ire and anxiety drain right out of her. She might murmur something like “how is this awesome?” or “oooookaaaay…” which is her way of processing an unexpected information flow. (She was expecting your defensive denials.) You will continue in the same vein,

“You love me so much. It’s sweet.”

Her: blah blah don’t think so blah blah you’re so arrogant blah

“I better watch myself around other women! If I check out a cute girl you might buy me a Corvette.”

At this point, she’s either laughing or fuming, or both. Either reaction is good news. The fear has dissipated; thanks to your ASSUME THE SALE and AGREE & NOTIFY ministrations she’s realized how silly she sounded and is mad at you for making her feel that way. The madness will in short order give way to gladness and then to missionary tradness.

The above can be used by stone bold jerkboys who got caught cheating for real but don’t yet want to give up the dream of building a de facto harem of slightly obsessed loverladies.