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How To Know You Have The Tightest Game

September 18, 2018 by CH

You use fake photos* in your online dating profiles and still manage to gently persuade shocked and confused dates to relinquish the poosy.

Details available upon inquest.

*gotta keep the heat off your tail

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Posted in Game | 68 Comments

68 Responses

  1. on September 18, 2018 at 9:21 am gregorwayne

    And the inverse is also true: you know someone’s the absolute definition of beta if they get cat-fished by a girl… and still chooses to invest in her.

    LikeLiked by 6 people


    • on September 18, 2018 at 1:07 pm Thud

      Deets…

      LikeLike


      • on September 18, 2018 at 2:11 pm markgm28

        Haha thud, are you accusing gregorwayne of investing in a catfish himself?

        LikeLike


    • on September 18, 2018 at 5:01 pm pasquale

      Gotta sa, nice Faust avatar

      LikeLike


  2. on September 18, 2018 at 9:27 am The Spirit Within

    The best way to win a woman’s heart is by excising oneself completely of toxic masculinity. The modern woman appreciates and is naturally more attracted to men who support feminist values.

    LikeLiked by 2 people


    • on September 18, 2018 at 9:31 am Stifler

      Frankensnatch Within, the best way to win my heart is to make me a ham sandwich. Promptly.

      You’re not a eunuch are you?

      LikeLiked by 1 person


      • on September 18, 2018 at 12:53 pm Marc

        I believe the phrase is “eunuch jelly, thou.”

        LikeLike


    • on September 18, 2018 at 9:36 am UndertheDRADIS

      You get your bitch ass back in the kitchen, and make me some pie!

      LikeLike


    • on September 18, 2018 at 9:44 am The Spirit Within

      If any progressive men are reading here, just remember to reject the Nazi game tactics being espoused here. As a long term strategy, it is better to treat women with respect and as equals. If a woman doesn’t accept your gestures to date you, it’s better to be patient and be there for her and most importantly, be her friend. Eventually she will see and appreciate that you’re a great catch for you believe in feminist values.

      Only assholes and players use sexist tactics like “hard next” or “soft next”. Women aren’t sexual objects!

      LikeLiked by 2 people


      • on September 18, 2018 at 9:51 am Hackett To Bits

        Shame on you TSW. It’s offensive to use the word “men”. You aren’t progressive and xir-inclusive enough.

        You must also submit to your exalted she-goddess being impregnated by a Diverse male, preferably African-American, but Latino-oppressed-migrant is also sufficiently forward thinking.

        You must raise that future gender studies major / patriarchy smasher and pay for all costs including living in your basement until age 30.

        LikeLiked by 3 people


      • on September 18, 2018 at 9:56 am The Spirit Within

        Sarcasm isn’t funny, Hackett to Bits.

        LikeLiked by 1 person


      • on September 18, 2018 at 9:59 am Elmer T. Jones

        The Spirit Within,
        Nazi troll or authentic?
        Advice for betas.

        LikeLike


      • on September 18, 2018 at 10:03 am Elmer T. Jones

        PUA Game tips.
        Despite the Nazi outrage,
        Costanza was right.

        LikeLike


      • on September 18, 2018 at 10:51 am Boner

        Less than mediocre trolling. I do sense some potential there though. If you work hard over the next few months, you could probably achieve mediocre status.

        LikeLike


      • on September 18, 2018 at 11:17 am Stifler

        Reject anything here and they’ll be as miserable and mentally broken as you.

        I already like this game!

        LikeLike


      • on September 18, 2018 at 11:28 am Greg Eliot

        The Strapon Within
        Advises on toe-curling,
        Heed at your own risk.

        LikeLike


      • on September 18, 2018 at 12:39 pm Tam the Bam

        I knew Godfrey Elfwick, and you’re no Godfrey Elfwick (RIP). Not even a Wrightly or a Titiana.

        LikeLike


      • on September 18, 2018 at 1:45 pm Mick9

        Fuck you. You are a broad

        LikeLike


      • on September 18, 2018 at 3:31 pm Bucky

        You will never be my equal. You can’t think logically, lift heavy stuff, or do hard jobs. The only thing you’re good at, I probably do better myself.

        LikeLike


  3. on September 18, 2018 at 9:29 am How To Know You Have The Tightest Game | @the_arv

    […] How To Know You Have The Tightest Game […]

    LikeLike


  4. on September 18, 2018 at 9:52 am Vlad Tepes

    But CH, do they relinquish it in the correct way? Where is king to tell us how blowjobs from a woman are ghey? I must admit, I’ve been thinking about it for a long time and I’ve seen the error in my ways. I am converted by his wisdom.

    I am here to encourage him to write a book on it. He could call it:
    King’s Orders Securing Halal Erotic Relations

    But I know his Titanic intellect would realize such a lengthy book name would not be catchy, so he’d make a neat acronym from it:
    K.O.S.H.E.R.

    LikeLike


  5. on September 18, 2018 at 10:08 am Elmer T. Jones

    Chicks dig haiku game.
    Neg with alpha brevity!
    Vaginas moisten…

    LikeLike


    • on September 18, 2018 at 10:25 am LB

      The Spirit Within
      Gives advice to pussy cucks
      Ignore and chuckle

      LikeLike


      • on September 18, 2018 at 11:18 am Stifler

        Spirit Withins knees buckle

        Starts to suckle

        LikeLike


    • on September 18, 2018 at 10:38 am Les Saunders, Protestant

      Here’s a neg I tried recently:

      Girl had a tattoo of something like vines on her arm. I asked, “interesting tattoo. Was it on sale?”

      LikeLiked by 2 people


      • on September 18, 2018 at 10:41 am Sentient

        Other similar

        “that a free tattoo” (often yes!)

        “Soooo jailhouse! Your bestie do that?”

        “What is that supposed to be?”

        “That’s an odd looking duck?”

        “who was drunker – you are the artist?”

        LikeLiked by 1 person


      • on September 18, 2018 at 10:41 am Sentient

        or not are

        LikeLike


      • on September 18, 2018 at 10:53 am Greg Eliot

        One of the best one’s I ever pulled on a tatted check-out girl at the market was, upon seeing some sort of man with wavy hair on her upper arm (note she was a very light hispanic):

        “Is that Trump?” (big smile, like I’m pleased)

        “NO!!! It’s my father!” (she’s smiling, though)

        “Oh. Handsome man.” (said matter-of-factly… her smile grows even broader)

        LikeLiked by 2 people


      • on September 18, 2018 at 11:21 am Stifler

        Greg, were you hitting on Emma Gonzalez, you scallywag?

        LikeLiked by 1 person


      • on September 18, 2018 at 11:24 am Greg Eliot

        Heh, heh… I admit nothing beyond amusing myself with a few common gallantries.

        LikeLiked by 1 person


      • on September 18, 2018 at 12:25 pm pulsotic

        That’s not a neg. That is teasing, which is good. A neg is a back handed compliment with plausible deniability to make the girl question her social standing to you. A neg in this situation would be, “nice tattoo, my friend’s mom got one just like it.”

        LikeLike


      • on September 18, 2018 at 12:41 pm Tam the Bam

        “Old tracks are a right bastard to hide, aren’t they?” (/renton)

        LikeLiked by 1 person


      • on September 18, 2018 at 2:17 pm markgm28

        Tam, wasn’t Renton talking about track marks? Pretty much same thing as tattoos in some ways I guess

        LikeLike


      • on September 19, 2018 at 7:03 am Greg Eliot

        That’s not a neg. That is teasing…

        Well, a neg IS a form of teasing, in’nt it? And bringing up Trump to an hispanic, well…

        I’ll defer to your semantics, though, because like I said, I was merely having a bit of sport and not on the prowl. 😉

        LikeLike


  6. on September 18, 2018 at 10:09 am Dread Forman

    “Visitors were asked to leave the as police investigated the find, which was described by Ben-Shimon as a “homemade explosive device consisting of a non-military firework mortar taped to a container of commercial lubricant.”

    A firework! Oy vey! Call the bomb squad!!!

    LikeLike


    • on September 18, 2018 at 11:03 am Greg Eliot

      What;s this in reference to?

      LikeLike


      • on September 18, 2018 at 11:21 am Dread Forman

        From your neck of the woods:

        https://www.nj.com/essex/index.ssf/2018/09/explosive_device_removed_from_jewish_cemetery_duri.html

        LikeLike


      • on September 18, 2018 at 11:23 am Greg Eliot

        Don’t forget to call the bias/hate crime unit too!

        LikeLike


    • on September 18, 2018 at 12:42 pm Tam the Bam

      Holy shit they found Strapon’s favorite dildo. She’ll be pissed and squalling on here within the hour.

      LikeLike


      • on September 18, 2018 at 2:24 pm markgm28

        Nine time out of ten, it’s an electric razor. But, every once in a while … (whispers)… it’s a dildo. It’s airline policy not to imply ownership in the event of a dildo. We use the indefinite article: “A dildo.” Never “Your dildo.”

        LikeLike


      • on September 18, 2018 at 3:25 pm mendo

        Nice Fight Club callback

        LikeLike


      • on September 18, 2018 at 3:26 pm mendo

        Nice Fight Club reference

        LikeLike


    • on September 18, 2018 at 1:01 pm Stifler

      “Watcha doin’, rabbi?”

      LikeLike


  7. on September 18, 2018 at 10:18 am Keyser Soze

    Cap’n…oh Cap’n….where are you when we need you?? Roll out the Strappy gifs.

    To the non-shills: Does anyone know why the Strappy’s, et al. come back cyclically under the same name? Why don’t they use completely new monikers…

    Also: text exchange from last night…me 44 she 29

    Recent Bang: “Wow, Daddy”

    Daddy Thick Leg: “yes?”

    RB: “I had fun.”
    “Thank you”

    DTL: “#metoo”

    RB: “omg”
    “You’re awful”

    I wonder how many men strappy’s advice has harmed…6 gorillion plus, at least.

    LikeLiked by 1 person


    • on September 18, 2018 at 10:42 am Sentient

      That is a parody TSW account. The former one true TSW is “Rick”.

      LikeLiked by 1 person


    • on September 18, 2018 at 12:45 pm Captain Obvious

      I’m gonna hafta get a j00tube or twatter or instawh0re account.

      Plain old imgur’s don’t get past m0d anymoar.

      LikeLike


    • on September 18, 2018 at 1:58 pm Cracker

      yep

      Sentient is right. Rick is the new moniker for the original TSW
      and i actually enjoy the parody account. it’s pretty well done IMO

      LikeLike


      • on September 19, 2018 at 7:05 am Greg Eliot

        New monicker? She’s been using it ever since Trump won the election, and after all her muh polls dancing, was too ashamed to admit how wrong she was.

        And I still want a cookie for being the first to call her on the Rick subterfuge, as well as sussing her out as a female… and most probably a yenta.

        LikeLiked by 1 person


  8. on September 18, 2018 at 11:00 am Damn Crackers

    Guys have been sending women fake dick pics since the internet began.

    LikeLike


  9. on September 18, 2018 at 11:47 am Dread Forman

    LikeLike


    • on September 19, 2018 at 7:07 am Greg Eliot

      What’s the significance of this one?

      LikeLike


      • on September 19, 2018 at 11:08 am Dread Forman

        In Carolinas, A Question As The Rivers Rise: Stay Or Go?

        “Mary Ingram stood outside a convenience store, open only thanks to a generator. She lives with her mother and 1-year-old son two blocks outside of the mandatory evacuation area, so she thought they’d be safe. Then it hit her: “My mom can’t swim. So if it does flood, I can’t save both her and the baby.” She decided to stay, nonetheless.”

        LikeLike


  10. on September 18, 2018 at 12:07 pm Hawk

    Use preposterous images eg. Brad Pitt or Hasselhoff or if wanting to go edgier George Zimmerman….up to Pinochet etc.

    Subtitle with wit to get IOIs.

    Eg. Under Brad Pitt image: “Wanna wreck my life like Angelina did his?”

    The Hoff: “Unless you look like Pamela Anderson in her hey day, don’t swipe”

    George Zimmerman: “”won’t you be my neighbor?”

    If you get her anger or her laughter you are still getting her to respond. Leverage accordingly.

    LikeLike


    • on September 18, 2018 at 12:29 pm pulsotic

      I think you’re missing the point

      LikeLike


  11. on September 18, 2018 at 12:54 pm wall

    Jokes on everyone, I’ve been using fake photos since forever. I also lie about my height (6’0″ to 6’1″)

    From my experience, girl just don’t care

    To absolutely fair, I am fairly attractive

    It’s just on dating apps, it’s the top 10% guys that get 90% of matches, plus the ratio on Tinder is like 70% men

    I don’t know if a short ugly dude using a male model’s pictures would work as nearly as well. BUT it’s still better than swiping nonstop for zero matches

    Better a pissed off date, than nothing

    LikeLiked by 2 people


  12. on September 18, 2018 at 1:11 pm How To Know You Have The Tightest Game | Reaction Times

    […] Source: Heartiste […]

    LikeLike


  13. on September 18, 2018 at 1:26 pm Captain Obvious

    Wh0refinder? https://abc7ny.com/couple-accused-of-rape-preyed-on-upwards-of-1000-women/4277355/

    LikeLike


  14. on September 18, 2018 at 1:26 pm seldom seen

    just hit dictionary.com for a quick definition and this was featured on the main page: How Incels Created An Online Language

    Clicking on it to read the article, it starts with “Short for involuntary celibacy, incel refers to an internet subculture of men who blame women for the fact that they are not having sex.”

    shall i go further?

    LikeLike


  15. on September 18, 2018 at 2:11 pm Anonymous

    Oh, I did so. With a fake photo from a girl btw. And telling on the profile it was fake. We dated for quite a while, good times

    LikeLike


  16. on September 18, 2018 at 2:11 pm ⇜ ⇜ ⇜ ⇜ (@chemtrails_9_11)

    thought ch didn’t do online?

    [CH: so you’ve heard (for real, though, i mostly avoid it. online game heyday is over. face to face is the only acceptable route to root now)]

    LikeLike


    • on September 18, 2018 at 3:12 pm Captain Obvious

      “⇜ ⇜ ⇜ ⇜”

      Is that sh!znat within Unicode-16?

      Or is it Unicode-32?

      LikeLike


  17. on September 18, 2018 at 2:16 pm Josephine

    Speaking of tight, check out the photos of the hot young “thing” in this story.

    Reminds me of Madonna’s “daughter” and Anthony Bourdain’s ex “wife”, don’t you agree?

    Maybe time to start asking questions…

    https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-4743036/800-children-young-10-puberty-blockers.html

    LikeLike


  18. on September 18, 2018 at 3:14 pm seldom seen

    i thought muslim women were ugly:

    https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-5874003/Migrant-mother-reunited-seven-year-old-son.html

    LikeLike


  19. on September 18, 2018 at 3:59 pm Chris

    I did exactly this all throughout 2012-2015 when I was on POF.

    I used to hate being seen by locals on that sewer of a site, and so always used fake pics (that were, admittedly, a reasonably close resemblance to how I actually looked). I used to hunt for someone like me on Google Images.

    The thing is, 50% of chicks never remarked on anything untoward when they met me, and when the other 50% mentioned me not looking like my photos I shrugged my shoulders and said “photos can be funny like that”. I actually had a girl I had been seeing on the regular (for around 4 months) finally discover one afternoon I had used fake pics; she was really upset that she had been duped, but it didn’t stop me from continuing to plough her.

    One of the other reasons I used fake pics was that I could run no-holds-barred asshole game on these girls with the confidence of anonymity.

    Those were my best years in game.

    [CH: heh, yup i use two methods. the one you describe here (similar looking photo and nonchalant dismissal of the woman’s suspicions) and a supplementary method where i choose a fake photo looking nothing like me and then challenge the girl to see past the pic and ask herself what kind of sexy asshole would think he could get away with this *wink*.]

    LikeLiked by 2 people


  20. on September 18, 2018 at 5:14 pm wall

    Jokes on everyone, I’ve been using fake photos since forever. I also lie about my height (6’0″ to 6’1″)

    From my experience, girl just don’t care

    To absolutely fair, I am fairly attractive

    It’s just on dating apps, it’s the top 10% guys that get 90% of matches, plus the ratio on Tinder is like 70% men

    I don’t know if a short ugly dude using a male model’s pictures would work as nearly as well. BUT it’s still better than swiping nonstop for zero matches

    Better a pissed off date, than nothing

    LikeLike


  21. on September 18, 2018 at 7:52 pm Mr Meaner

    Don’t know if CH is talking about Tinder & Bumble (I wouldn’t really class them as “online” dating) but nevertheless here are my tips and observations for banging hot chicks on dating apps:

    -Going the full asshole won’t work consistently when you’re talking to a total stranger. Neither will any sort of dominance or kink routine. If that’s your thing, save all that for after you’ve banged.

    -On the flipside, being overly nice and accomodating, feigning interest in her life, job and asking boring questions like “how was your day” is a waste of time if getting laid is your goal.

    -Girls screen for funny and charismatic on apps the same way men screen for sex. They already know you’re gonna fuck them, what they wanna know is if you’re gonna murder them too. Girls will come straight to sex quarters if they’re satisfied you aren’t a serial killer – so be funny, be charismatic and be chilled. Girls love demanding men but not ones they haven’t met. Again, save all that for after you’ve banged.

    -Screening for sex on dating apps is a delicate balance. Too much and you’ll scare her off. Not enough and you won’t find out she’s a timewaster until it’s too late. Find the right balance. A girl who messages you first is *eons* more likely to be DTF, so play it smart.

    -Have a one-liner in your profile that arouses curiosity. It’ll give her an excuse to open you. When she asks, make the response playful. Tell her you don’t allow pants in your kitchen, or some shit like that. This will set the tone for the rest of the convo and make it easier to transition to a hook-up. Much easier to work from here than if she opens with “Hi.” Girls on dating apps love sexual innuendo as long as it’s playful, clever and ambiguous.

    -Don’t worry about getting off the app until you’ve made plans to meet. “Let’s move this off the app” is tired and old, chicks are wise to it. It also unnecessarily breaks momentum. Stay on the goddamn app until she needs directions to your house.

    Happy Tindering!

    [CH: i agree with everything in this comment]

    LikeLiked by 1 person


  22. on September 19, 2018 at 6:01 am Walderschmidt

    I once dated a German gal who was 5’11”. She was surprised that I was 5’6” instead of 5’9” like my profile said.

    She was a virgin when I met her.

    LikeLike


  23. on September 19, 2018 at 12:49 pm HEM

    I like to do this when I get bored. I actually prefer not even using a pic at all. But, sometimes I’ll use a scenic pic of some exotic place. Put something interesting in the profile bio (eg something that illustrates you’re intelligent and witty, as well as explicitly state that you’re alpha; the alpha can also be referenced in the screen name) and prob about 30% will respond. Of those, half will immediately ask for a pic. I usually trash them. The other half are receptive to what you have to say. Be straight-forward, brash and cocky. Never compliment their looks. Never apologize for something jerky that you say. You’ll be amazed at the results.

    [CH: great advice all around]

    LikeLike



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