The fastest way to tell if a man you don’t know is a beta or an alpha is by the quality of woman on his arm (if he has a woman).
The second fastest way is by how he greets other men, particularly high status or conspicuously confident men.
The beta male greeting is a slight bow or nod of the head accompanied by a full body lean-in toward the man receiving the beta’s handshake. Usually, the beta male averts his eyes downwardly at the moment the handshake commences. His face is shellacked with a wide, submissive smile.
The head bow/nod+lean-in combo is such a huge indicator of low value that it’s one of the first body language mistakes I teach men to avoid. Anyone, man or woman, who witnesses a man doing that will automatically assume that man is lsmv or, if he looks superficially hsmv, that he has low self-esteem issues and a loser personality.
Another IOB (indicator of betatude) greeting is the side approach plus long-distance handshake. This occurs when the beta can’t summon the will to approach and greet the other man straight-on, torso facing forward, and instead presents his side (as if he’s minimizing the surface area that could be targeted by a threat) and reaches out with his hand from across a significant divide, afraid that he might invade the other man’s personal space. This beta male greeting is abjectly a display of low value, and can border on lsmv absurdity if the side approach, head bow, averted gaze, and stretched handshake are combined with a full-body lean-in at an awkward side-facing angle.
Solution: stop dong this. Approach and greet other men with unwavering eye contact, fully exposed and front-forward torso (preferably donned with Crusader armor), and a firm handshake that isn’t delivered transpacifically. Keep your head up and your body unbowed, and the feeling generated from greeting men this way will imprint your psychology with strength, masculinity, and that glorious outcome independent alpha male attitude that is the fount of a million HB tingles.
I noticed that I look at the hand. Thoughts?
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That would indicate to me that you’re uncomfortable, or perhaps it is submissive as you are casting your eyes downward. Or I can chalk it up to you are simply thinking about something else, absent-mindedly. All are beta. If you are shaking hands you should be on guard anyway.
If I have to shake hands, I have always looked at the other person’s face. I’ve even been required to shake hands with enemies in a professional arena. If I sense that person is hostile to me, I have adopted a sort of grin that is unmistakable (if you’ve ever seen Batman ’89, it’s the grin that Batman flashes to Jack after he quips “Nice outfit.”)
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I hate bad hand shakes, I tend to look at the hand to make sure a good grip is gotten. Will concentrate on eye contact.
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CARING about any of this sh!znat is Beta.
Nothing good will cum about in your life until you go to That Dark Place and STOP CARING.
Worrying is Beta.
True honest-to-G0d Inner-Frame-derived ZFG is Alpha.
PRO-TIP: Dudes who are yuge into eye-contact are either Psychopaths or S0d0mites or [increasingly likely] both Psychopaths & S0d0mites.
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Two caveats:
1) You should work to improve your kino here if you really are a Beta but you are trying to fake it til you make it [although you won’t truly make it until you go That Dark Place and re-emerge with an entirely new Inner Frame], and
2) Similarly you should work on your Kino here if you’re trying to impress a bunch of milk-cow idiot HBs in the room whose IQs are so low that they can’t clue in on any of the tells of higher intellectual capacity emanating from your frontal lobe.
But, again, if you still care what idiot milk-cow HBs think of you, then you haven’t been to That Dark Place.
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PRO-TIP #2: Having played football [at least through high skrewl] really helps your kino [emanating from your natural masculine ease] in these “manly” situations.
Whereas having played gay-assed sh!t like soccer [or having played no team sports whatsoever] really phucks you up for life.
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PRO-TIP #3: Passive Aggressive Personality Disorder is now so utterly pandemic in the moderin bureaucracy that almost 100% of this public hand-shaking eye-contact crap is just a badly-choreographed very-uneasy prelude to that point in the future when the son-of-a-b!tch sneaks up behind you and [at least metaphorically, if not actually] slides a kn!fe into your liver.
PRO-TIP #4: Learn the signs of the Clusters, especially the signs of Non-Specified Psychopathy & Passive-Aggression.
You can deal with a little Cluster-B Narcissism & Histrionics in your acquaintances, but the Non-Specifieds will be your Ides of March.
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The part about shaking hands at a distance can be context-specific. In rural Texas, where I’m from, men tend to shake hands at a distance. The more rural, the farther the distance. In the urban cities, like Austin and Houston, the beta-space rule applies as written.
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That’s the “personal space” rule in general. Rural people require more personal space than urban dwellers. If you drop a Manhattanite in rural Texas, he’ll stand too close to people when he’s talking.
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Texans, both rural types and a subset of urban dwellers often c0ncealed carry. You don’t willingly put yourself off balance with bowing into a handshake if you’re serious about personal security.
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As a rural chap, I can confirm that city dwellers stand too damn close. Rude bastards. When I first went to EE, where people pack into trams like sardines and elbow each other constantly, I came within a hair of a number of fistfights until I learned to ignore the cockroach-swarm-like physical contact. Never got fully comfortable with it, but learned to block it out.
Well, except for fine-looking wenches. They can stand as close as they want, wherever they’re from. 😉
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Incidentally, I’d almost swear low EE birthrates are partly due to their public transport system. Though it’s quite efficient, the way they pack into buses, trolleys, and subway cars until there are literally people standing on each other’s feet must create a mental impression of hideous overcrowding even if their country also contains vast open spaces.
[CH: there might be something to this. despite lebensraum, a context-dependent feeling of claustrophobia can create the psychological grounds which manifest as reduced fertility. Or: SCALE matters.]
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same is true in the US
people all cram into the cities, have to fight traffic, going to stores, restaurants, etc and dealing with a shizload of people all the time. gives them the impression there are too many people
go a little ways out of the cities and suburbs though and you’ll find tons of empty land.
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Often when I cross paths with a black gentleman I look him right in the eyes and say “Good morning” or some other pleasantry as if our culture were not rife with racial tension.
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black gentleman? oxymoron
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That is weak. I don’t acknowledge black people when I pass them in public because I regard them as inferiors and resent their presence contaminating my view.
Pretending to be friends with your enemies is the mark of a soft man.
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Day Game.
Both for making friends with dudes and for slaying teh p00ntang.
The moar I think about, the very simplest kino of glancing at a person and the single word spoken, cheerfully, “Hello!”, is about 99.99999999% of what constitutes Game Theory.
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And- “CARING about any of this sh!znat is Beta.”
Somebody is starting to get it.
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As an older gentleman I do it a lot now to random strangers from all walks. They almost always appreciate it and respond in kind. Just “how you doing?” instead of the usual trying to muscle into their space.
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Steve McQueen met his first wife, dancer Neil (sp?) Adams that way- and before he was famous. She was on a date with a studio exec while he was lounging at the bar. Walked up in front of the guy and said, “Hello. You’re very pretty.” She said she was stunned and stammered, “So are you!”
Studio exec walked up to the bartender afterward and said, “Who is that rat face?” Bartender said, “That’s Steve McQueen.”
Studio exec later found him and signed him.
Adams of course later banged and married him.
Really the only game I endorse.
Glad you’re all my bros.
FE
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Opening any social interaction at a pleasant level allows escalation in any direction as needed. Good calibration is good game in all settings.
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It’s a pussy move.
You are afraid of the nigg so you smile and act subservient, hoping he won’t club you to death. Grow a pair and find out how men live.
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Its important to underscore the subconscious roots of this stuff. Most guys assess themselves and then behave accordingly to their (often self-imposed) pecking order. Most guys will naturally have alpha body language around a guy a 6 inches shorter than them, or a girl they don’t find attractive. It takes these exaggerated status disparities for the average man to accept he can act with self-possession. The key is squashing the insecurity that happens when the status gap is closer, or even reversed.
[CH: funny, i have a game post in the pipeline which your comment invokes. more to come]
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>>>>> “Most guys assess themselves and then behave accordingly to their (often self-imposed) pecking order.”
Gotta go to That Dark Place.
Gotta stop caring.
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PS
Since reading CH for some time I find myself judging women harshly concerning their appearance. My poor wife tells me that it isn’t nice.
[CH: hard times create not-nice men]
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I dunno… as a boy I picked up the German habit of doing a diener (slight bow o’ de haid) when greeting people, men or women.
Girls used to do a knicks (slight curtsey).
On a visit to Scandinavia awhile back, I noticed with charm that many of the older women still do the curtsey when greeting.
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Meant to add, the diener or knicks accompanies the handshake.
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In Japan the slight bow is standard and I notice myself feeling like a weak, second-class person when I do it, which causes a further loss of self-worth — a vicious circle, unlike the US where I start off feeling like the equal of the people around em, and behave acordingly.
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Such a demure act from a woman these days would have me smitten almost immediately. Her being of appropriate age of course.
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It was indeed charming to behold.
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You should try smacking your boot heels together at the same time as the nod, if they give off a whiff of soy or cats. Or bagels.
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Ja.
Very hard habit to shake.
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I never really wanted to shake it… it always felt like old school regality to me.
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Greg,those are the whores!
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Not funny.
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I hardly ever shake hands, unless I have to in business as it is de rigueur with equals.
Handshaking itself is a stupid custom and I have never trusted it. It doesn’t prove to me the other is not carrying a weapon, and I don’t like other men touching me for various reasons. I don’t shake hands with women at all. They are not my equals.
So if I don’t have to, I don’t do it. I’ll hold up my hand in the old-style medieval salute, sort of “Hooow” Chief type. It’s a perfectly natural signal that’s I’ve done for years.
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people who insist on shaking hands during cold season pizz me th F off
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Amen. Let’s try to make this the standard.
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On Steve Bannon’s new gig … An article in Politico reports on how Trump’s ‘election Svengali’ Steve Bannon, seeks to unite Europe’s right-wing and nationalist parties, in ‘The Movement’ under Israel-linked leadership.
This new vehicle of Steve Bannon, ‘The Movement’, headquartered in Brussels, was actually founded in 2017 and remains headed by, a prominent Belgian J. politician and lawyer, Mischaël Modrikamen.
Modrikamen is a central figure in Belgium’s J. community and in ties to Israel, and heads a small Belgian ‘People’s Party’ (‘Partipopulaire’) with one seat in Belgium’s national parliament – Modrikamen can be seen on the GoogleTube speaking at the 2016 ‘Jerusalem Leaders’ Summit’.
Also listed amidst the direction of ‘The Movement’, is French politician Ms Laure Ferrari, who has been living in Nigel Farage’s posh Chelsea home, and can be seen dancing intimately with him at a party, in a funny video on the Sun website … tho the married-but-living-apart Farage has said the Sun & Daily Mail suggestion she is his lover is “crackers”. Laure Ferrari had been a candidate for France’s right-wing ‘Arise France’ (Debout La France / Debout la République) party, and had been directing the IDDE euro-sceptic think tank.
One quote amidst the articles on Nigel Farage and his ‘houseguest’ Laure Ferrari is a comment the Brexit leader made on Brussels philandering:
“What happens in Brussels, stays in Brussels, and it needs to be that way.”
– Nigel Farage
The Politico article concludes that European nationalist leaders are rather ambiguous about Bannon, but would be open to picking up a few campaign pointers if he has some ideas.
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[…] The Beta Male Greeting […]
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Thoughts on hand squeezing? I notice a lot of small dudes squeeze my hand as if it’s supposed to be manly when I could just as easily squeeze theirs like pretzel sticks. I’m not saying that to be braggadocios, I’m just saying I’m not sure why they do it when I don’t go that far when it comes to shaking hands, just a nice firm handshake.
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When someone squeezes my hand unnecessarily hard, I like to match the grip, pull the hand slightly toward me and turn my hand so that it is slightly over their hand. Very slight, almost imperceptible. But without fail they loosen the the grip. It’s a power play for sure.
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I’ve noticed a maneuver where the guy tries to move your arm around a lot with overly vigorous shaking, not just squeezing. Like he is going to literally push you around. My arm becomes the rock of Gibraltar when they try that and they are caught off balance. Then they get a slight up and down shake and I let go. Women are surprised by that too, that your wrist isn’t limp. It isn’t about squeezing tight, it’s about controlling the arm movement of the other person. You can tell some people are not used to interacting with anyone who gets regular exercise.
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I’ve worked in bars for 15 years, and i prevent this by shaking left handed a lot of time. I’m kind of a guy a half drunk dude wants to see what he can get away with on. I.e. what passive/aggressive over familiarity they can can get over on you. And if I think some dildo is gonna wanna use his handshake to show me that he’s still a hoss even though he knows I plowed his now girlfriend in the soundbooth after hours, he gets a sideways left hand. Ok Bruce Lee ain’t quick enough to not get caught off by it.
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This.
Also it kind of naturally “blades” your body and keeps your right hand free for whatever develops.
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Reminds me of an old All In The Family show. Meathaid was to meet Archie for the first time and Gloria coached her future hubby:
“My dad likes a firm handshake.”
So when they meet, Meathaid is nervous and squeezes Archie’s hand in an exaggerated manner.
Archie looks at him like he’s got two haids and with a disgusted annoyance in his voice simply says: “Ow!”
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https://i.redditmedia.com/mcJmQ97iY65XeElvh_eCFGsc8zlrNqyYGUXiuW8mvBE.jpg?fit=crop&crop=faces%2Centropy&arh=2&w=960&s=0539a168795ecaab85f1cf4ec0032a2c
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https://www.agefotostock.com/age/en/Stock-Images/Rights-Managed/HEZ-1632572
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Basically any demostration of good manners, education and growing up in a high class family is beta to CH
Sign that he was such a person growing up and found himself bullied by the low iq blue collar masses who didnt put much trust into studying and career
If you think about that, people like Trump do the same trick: they grow up educated and with brains but the trick is into playing themselves down to appear mentally and socially challenged to create rapport with the masses
I’d say, the biggeat difference between alpha and beta is being able to adapt oneself to who he has in front, because if I’m the high status guy and some nobody comes up to me with an arrogant manner I automatically assume he’s one I don’t want to waste my time with, subconsciously shunning his presence.
[CH: very stupid comment that betrays your unfamiliarity with the higher classes. accomplished men and men with high social status greet other men with the alpha confidence i described above. they never bow and scrape; only an impotent dweebstrap like yourself would conflate a confident alpha greeting with an “arrogant manner”.]
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On blogs its hard to understand body language if you just write about it
Obviously you shouldnt give the impression of being a chinese rice farmer when meeting western men by bowing and smiling like a retard
Like always, just be a fucking normal person with adapted social experience and not a basement neckbeard theory is legit
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Bmull, you revealed this: “biggeat difference between alpha and beta is being able to adapt oneself to who he has in front, because if I’m the high status guy”…
That means you don’t ALWAYS think of yourself as the high status guy, which means you’re beta. Adapting yourself to the perceived various statuses of the people you meet sounds exhausting. Try some ZFG for your own peace of mind.
Besides, God isn’t a respector of persons. Jesus held his ground with a Roman governor, rebuked the Pharisees, threw out the bankers, and laid hands upon the lepers.
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The second recruiting poster (soldier shaking hand of civilian) looks about right:
https://knightsandsteel.wordpress.com/2011/04/17/waffen-ss-denmark/
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Heartiste, a question for those of us who are succumbing to the inevitable march of time— what do you recommend for men who need ocular correction. My vision isn’t terrible, but the 20/15 and 20/20 days have slid to 20/30 and 20/35, with an astigmatism that causes halos around point sources of light, especially at night.
Contact-lenses are a bit too much of a pain in the ass for daily use, and conservative and classic men’s eyewear frame styles have been hijacked by the hipsters and faggotry as a faux intellectualism signaling problem glasses.
I was in a dim pub in DC recently, and I found myself pulling out the eyeglasses to read the menu. Usually I put them away in my jacket pocket but found myself chatting colonization with a mid 50s-aged Aussie couple on holiday who were also rather tired of becoming the camp of the saints.
It didn’t dawn on me until I got home that I had left them on. What’s your take? Should men with a functioning set between their legs just wear them so long as our 46 jacket size and 33 waist size differentiate us from the soylents, or just avoid wearing them except only when needed?
[CH: sounds like you’re getting presbyopia, an aging of the eye muscles that control focus. people use magnifier glasses to overcome this, but i can’t give you more suggestions than that, it’s unfamiliar territory. any readers want to chime in and help this brother out? i doubt your glasses will turn off the younger babes; if you look good, and your glasses aren’t framed with soy, most girls will hardly notice them or if they do will think it looks distinguished, like a dapple of gray hair]
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It’s caused by a stiffening of the lens preventing it from changing shape as it used to and a greater diameter giving the ciliary muscles less distance to work. The lens is also more yellowish, so less light reaching the retina. The ciliary muscles themselves are generally fine. Adaptive lens replacements, corneal inlays and scleral implants don’t seem to to be quite up to the job yet for mild presbyopia and may make your vision worse in some ways. (Lumina AIOL seems to be the best of the lens replacements in a recent review for those with more severe problems, the corneal inlays are worth checking as well.) LASIK generally doesn’t help presbyopia unless you have other problems.
Anyway, best solution is wear no-line bifocals most of the time. Taking out your reading glasses is a giveaway that you’re old enough to need them, while glasses worn all the time aren’t. Contacts are going to work at the expense of far vision. Style-wise, up to you, but I wouldn’t let the hipsters scare you off from some classic-style frames, especially if you’re actually wearing that size 46 jacket. (Unless it’s a morning coat or evening wear, then you might want to see if you can carry off a monocle.)
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A monocle? Like a Naziiiiiiiiiii????
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I got some cheapo readers off (((an auction site))). Black plastic frames, round lens, and being Chinese, so narrow across the face they make me look like Hideki Tojo. Or Himmler. For some reason people tend to find them unsettling when I put them on to squint inscrutably at some smallprint item in a comfy bourgie feasting milieu. But it does make the staff polite and suitably reticent, I found.
Which is fine by me. Goes with the shaved/#1 back&sides and sideparting (I only tried the centreparting once, people did tend to stare somewhat, but I had resorted to cutting my own hair while stuck in a remote location, so that could be it, as it’s quite obvious I’m far too old to be any sort of hipster.)
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I will add that if you’re greeting a man who is taller than you, do not raise your chin to look at him. Raise your eyes to meet his, but keep your head level.
[CH: good advice]
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Putin does this move. It’s Russian Bot approved.
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As demonstrated here by Vladimir Putin:
https://goo.gl/images/ETw7pq
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That’s a big phucking dude too. Night Wolves Biker Gang.
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See also 2:47 here:
Lolz
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Totally OT but this analysis maybe appreciated here
http://voxday.blogspot.com/2018/09/no-blue-wave-in-november.html#comment-form
https://www.mysanantonio.com/news/local/article/Polls-close-at-7-p-m-in-Senate-District-19-13239398.php
the only worry that I have (actually almost nightmare like) is that people get complacent and stay home, effectively giving the demonrats the win.
[CH: it’s good news, but don’t extrapolate too much from it. apparently, that district is filled with tejanos who hate open borders as much as maga yankee whites do.]
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And for the love of God, there is no greater tell that you have zero confidence than the “handshake of death” where you attempt to “dominate” me with your handshake. FFS, wow, you lift, you are SO DOMINANT. I still think you are a dipshit and we laugh behind your back, Mr. Grip.
[CH: a firm handshake is not the same as a death grip. a guy who pulls this on me only invites a grip battle royale]
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“stop dong this.”
Heh, heh.
Have to say, in nearly ten years of following this blog, this is the very first unintended (I believe) typo I’ve ever seen committed here. That is a testament to the extremely fine writing and quality standards of our gracious host, that put other blogs to shame.
[CH: i’m gonna leave that pitch perfect typo in place.]
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I noticed it too when I read it–it would have been an early comment on it– but didn’t want to paint myself as a grammar naaaatzi; it is funny.
Also, in the vein of MPC: Username Available
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Dong more with lass? Dong right by dong good? Dong the right thing?
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I have had great difficulty training myself to do this.
I’m 5’8″ and 140lbs. I’m a tradesman(electrician) so I’m commonly introducing myself to men much larger than me. It took almost two years to figure out the chimp body language game.
One weird trick for fellow manlets: don’t lift your arm past the orthogonal. Keep your thumb akimbo so they can’t palm your entire hand if they’re an asshole. Two shakes, firm, let go. Make them look down/lean in.
You’ll go a long way in the construction industry if you can give a good handshake above your weight. The best guys I ever had on my crew could’ve killed me with their hands without breaking a sweat who respected my authority because I wasn’t a bitch.
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Do you hire niggers?
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I have had great difficulty training myself to do this.
I’m 5’8″ and 140lbs. I’m a tradesman(electrician) so I’m commonly introducing myself to men much larger than me. It took almost two years to figure out the chimp body language game.
One weird trick for fellow manlets: don’t lift your arm past the orthogonal. Keep your thumb akimbo so they can’t palm your entire hand if they’re an asshole. Two shakes, firm, let go. Make them look down/lean in.
You’ll go a long way in the construction industry if you can give a good handshake above your weight. The best guys I ever had on my crew could’ve killed me with their hands without breaking a sweat who respected my authority because I wasn’t a bitch.
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I hate even more this movement to the flanks, as if looking at someone and talking to them head on is too frightening. I’ve noticed guys slowly do it, moving slowly to one side or the other until we’re almost facing the same direction, even one on one. It’s totally lame and weak body language.
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BTW here’s a visual illustration of proper alpha greeting. From the Le Chateau archives:
https://heartiste.wordpress.com/2014/01/07/when-alpha-males-square-off/
https://heartiste.wordpress.com/2011/10/14/spot-the-alpha-4/
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Easy to accomplish if you go in for the handshake thinking, “If I have to I will murder you and eat your heart after.”
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[…] Source: Heartiste […]
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Take CH’s advice, but don’t overdo it. I can still tell that you are a beta if you hold the eye contact for too long (and too intensely) or grip the hand too tightly or for too long. It has to seem natural and relaxed. If it’s not, you come across as someone who reads body language self-help books. Be well.
[CH: it goes without saying (or should) that any mannerism or behavior done to excess will seem strange.]
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Is holding totally non-controversial posts for mod wordpress’ way of getting off?
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I always greet people with my body bladed so that my gun-side is away from them. Just habit from a law-enforcement career. Though, I carry two firearms, one on each side, so I guess I could modify my body position. Always good to learn something new.
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