The Difference Between A Cheating Alpha And A Cheating Beta

When a beta cheats on a woman, NOTHING HE DOES WILL APPEASE HER.

When an alpha cheats on a woman, ALL IS FORGIVEN.

I’ve observed it many times. And you have, too. The good betaboy who slips up once and has an affair. The girlfriend or wife finds out (because, naturally, handwringing betas can’t live with a guilty conscience) and, if he’s lucky, he’s in the doghouse for months of celibate grindage. If he’s not so lucky, she uses his slip-up as a pretext to dump him so that she can shack up with the dude she’s been cheating with for years. Behold the beta who clumsily meddles with the forces of alpha: you’ve never seen such undignified contortionist remorse so ineffectually sway a woman to leniency.

But an alpha male who cheats, even repeatedly? If he’s really on top of his game, his jilted girlfriend will cry her eyes out in an orgy of self-blame wondering why she doesn’t please him, then bake him a cake. If she’s made of stronger stuff, she might chastise him for ten minutes, weep bitterly for an hour into her pillows, then bang his brains out in a monumental after-fight sesh.

To those whom much is given, little is expected. To those whom much is expected, little is given.

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The Modren Man

The only thing this picture is missing that would make it the absolute perfect representation of the de-balled and de-souled modern SWPL man-lite is a “vibrant” infant tucked into the fat bride’s meatloaf arm.

secret secret, i’ve got a secret!

You might call this the 21st century Western equivalent of the drawing and quartering.

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Niceguys Lose… Again

Proud-to-be-an-omega-male linked to two studies and wrote:

[These two studies are] a gift for Heartiste, both of which are just more science supporting what [is] stated countless times on this blog.

The first study, titled “Niceness and Dating Success: A Further Test of the Nice Guy Stereotype” provides evidence for the widely held observation that niceguys don’t get as much sex as badboys.

Proponents of the nice guy stereotype argue that women often say they wish to date kind, sensitive men, but, in reality, still choose to date macho men over nice guys, especially if the macho men are more physically attractive. We investigated the relationship between men’s agreeableness, physical attractiveness, and their dating success across different relationship contexts. One hundred and ninety-one male college students completed a computerized questionnaire to assess their levels of agreeableness and aspects of their dating history. Twenty college-aged women rated the men’s photographs for attractiveness. Results supported the nice guy stereotype. Lower levels of agreeableness predicted more less-committed, casual, sexual relationships.

The sexual appeal to women of disagreeableness in men comes up quite often in studies examining the topic of mating preferences, and the results are usually not feelgood pablum to warm the hearts of weepy romantics or righteous white knighters. The executive summary: chicks dig jerks. The god of the golden rule wept.

So you want to get laid? Try being less agreeable, less nice, and less accommodating. I bet your mom won’t teach you that, and I doubly bet you won’t hear that advice from any übercredentialed marriage counselor or couples therapist, shysters the lot of them.

The second study confirms more reality-based (aka anti-feminism) wisdom that niceguys are preferred by women for low-sex long-term relationships, but shunned for hot n’ sexy flings.

Many researchers have attempted to discover what types of men women consider most desirable for relationship partners. This study investigated university women’s (N = 165) perceptions of ”nice guys,” specifically whether women perceived nice guys to be more or less sexually successful than guys who are considered not nice. Both quantitative and qualitative analyses were used. The qualitative analysis was useful in understanding women’s differing interpretations of the nice guy label. More than one half of the women agreed that nice guys have fewer sexual partners. However, more than one half also reported a preference for a nice guy over a bad boy as a date. As hypothesized, women who placed a lesser emphasis on the importance of sex, who had fewer sexual partners, and who were less accepting of men who had many sexual partners were more likely to choose the nice guy as a dating partner. The findings indicate that nice guys are likely to have fewer sexual partners but are more desired for committed relationships.

You’ll note a couple of conclusions here. One, more than half of coed women (the hot ones in the age bracket we care about) agreed that niceguys have fewer sexual partners. This is bad news for niceguys, because female preselection is a powerful attractant that men can wield to entice women. If women think you don’t get any, you are more likely to not get any. It’s self-fulfilling.

Two, more than one half of women reported a preference for a niceguy over a badboy as a date. That means a little less than one half of women had no preference or PREFERRED A BADBOY for a date! That is an astounding number, if you think about it. The leverage the niceguys hold over women looking for LTRs is not as great as they like to think, nor is it equivalent in effectiveness to the leverage that badboys hold over women seeking sexytime.

It’s also important to keep in mind that the word “date”, as used by the women in this study, means “sexless date”. Women who placed less importance on sex — i.e., frigid ice queens — were more likely to asexually date a niceguy. So, yeah, niceguys are preferred for sexless dates that result in their wallets being considerably lighter and their dicks drier at the end of the night. If you are a niceguy, this news has GOT to make you feel like a sucker. A dupe. A fool. A chump. To paraphrase the memorable GBFM:

“Why would you pay more for less that guys before you got hotter, tighter, younger for free?”

Good question. Any takers?

The third study is a gift from me. You’ll have to get access to the full study to read some of the juicy tidbits within, which basically support the darker, more cynical CH hypothesis that badboys not only get more sex, but they get more chances to convert that sex into loving LTRs, should they so desire to go that route.

The more recent research of McDaniel (2005) and Urbaniak and Kilman (2006) suggest that women find “nice guys” to be socially undesirable and sexually unattractive, contradicting the previous findings of Jensen-Campbell et al. The researchers also found that “bad boys” (operationalized as “fun/sexy guys” by McDaniel and “cute, macho guys” by Urbaniak and Kilman) were highly desired for both short-term and long-term committed relationships, whereas “nice guys” were not desired as sex partners within either relationship context, contradicting the previous findings of Herold and Milhausen. McDaniel writes:

First, being suitable for high commitment dating alone is not enough (by a long shot) to increase a nice guy’s likelihood to progress into or beyond the experimentation stage of relationship escalation. Second, young women who are interested in frequent casual dating are not going to select a nice guy as a dating partner because he cannot meet her recreational dating needs. And, because the fun/sexy guy seems to be more suitable for low commitment dating, he is going to be chosen more often for it, which provides him with an increased opportunity to progress well into and beyond the experimentation stage.

Young women’s dating behavior: Why/Why not date a nice guy? by McDaniel, 2005

So this study, the most recent one, tells us that women prefer badboys for short term *and* long term relationships. Man, those niceguys can’t catch a break! The theory is simple: If badboys are rounding the bases to home plate a lot more often and a lot quicker than niceguys, despite women’s opinions that niceguys make for better high commitment dating partners, then badboys are also getting more opportunities to escalate relationships into the long-term category. The fact that a lot of badboys choose not to convert short term flings into LTRs does NOT mean that the opportunity for them to do so is not available.

In other words, you need to get your dick in the pussy door before you can even begin to think about any one chick as a potential girlfriend or wife.

Now maybe the dating scene was different in the past. But we don’t live in the past. We live in the here and now, and that means doing what you need to do to get what you want. Are you adaptable?

None of this is to say that niceguys don’t have their place in the universe. After all, some women at some time must have desired niceguys, or they wouldn’t be around today. In fact, there may have been a fairytale moment in human history when genuine niceguys scored the majority of bangs and impregnated the majority of wombs. But the Four Sirens of the Sexual Apocalypse (coming soon to theaters near you) shredded that (partially contrived) sexual compact, and the state of nature — aka the forager mentality — has reasserted itself, with consequences none can know, but based on prior results aren’t likely to be good if civilization is your thing.

The evidence in total is becoming clear. If it’s sex with cute, young chicks you want, then being a badboy, or learning to be a simulacra of a badboy, is your best avenue to success. If it’s LTRs you want, even then your best bet is to be a badboy, because fast sex opens doors to long term (and long germ, if you aren’t careful) possibilities.

But clearly women, and particularly women of more northerly latitudes, retain a vestige of love in their hearts for reliable, predictable niceguys as LTR fodder, and this is borne out in many studies; it’s scary to take a chance on a badboy who might leave you to the harsh winters to raise your kids alone. So ideally, as the master seducer you wish to become (or you wouldn’t be reading here), the pose to strike is one of charmingly aloof badboyness coupled with hints of undercurrents of loving, dependable niceguyness. Not too much more than a hint of an undercurrent, though. You don’t want to frighten the kitty; you want to entice the kitty with dangling strings.

With experience, you’ll be able to accurately gauge when you are pushing a woman away instead of drawing her closer. You’ll know when you are being too cocky and aloof, and you’ll adjust accordingly with a sappy story about your deceased labrador or your adorable niece whom you can’t stop doting upon. Similarly, you’ll know when you are being too cloying or treacly, and you’ll step back into laconic alphatude so that she may have the pleasure of resuming her chase of you.

An armored badboy attitude + a vulnerable niceguy underbelly = winning combination to unlock pussy for long term goals.

For short term goals, you don’t need to be much else besides a jerk.

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What Is Anti-Game?

Feh writes:

Anti-game is trivial:

– get misty-eyed at emotional shit
– bore her with details
– constantly let her re-frame
– buy her drinks [Ed: Outside of a date context.]
– compliment her gratuitously
– talk about your hobbies with oblivious enthusiasm
– never ask her a question
– never look away
– let her see your shit-eating smile
– accede to her manipulative horseshit
– never, ever say “horseshit” in conversation

The list could go on …

It could, and it shall. Here are some more anti-game behaviors and traits, from a pickup and LTR perspective:

Constantly remind her how happy you are to be with her.
Laugh at your own jokes.
Laugh uproariously at her “jokes”.
Feed her need for gossip.
Put up with her shit an order of magnitude more frequently than she puts up with your shit.
Ask yes or no or one-word answer type questions.
Act contrite when she catches you checking out her body.
Stare, look away, stare, look away, stare, look away.
Ask her if she has a condom.
Cuddle her so long that she is the one to first start wriggling free.
Hold in farts around her until your colon bursts. (LTR applicable only.)
Fidget, talk fast, mumble, lean in, babble tiresomely like a girl who has a heavy emotional burden to unload.
Talk incessantly about the state of the relationship.
Whine about how hard life is.
Betray too much enthusiasm when she tells you about something cool she did.
Act impressed with her educational credentials or career success.
Sympathize with her bitching about badboy exes.
Agree to her tacit sex timetable. (A woman is capable of making you wait for months absent any masculine push on your part. Ironically, this very acquiescence to her female sensibility will turn her off to sex with you.)
Get wrathfully jealous every time she checks out a dude or talks about another guy.
Spitefully berate her genuine accomplishments.
Say crap like “I don’t deserve you” with sincerity.
Be a kitchen bitch.
Drop everything you like to do to do everything she likes to do. (Man, I know a lot of guys like this. Sickening.)
Wanly smile when she denigrates you to her friends.
Make videos like this. (Suffice to say, this nauseating beta dweeb did not win his ex back, muscles and looks to the contrary notwithstanding.)
Resort to saying “I suppose you’re right” every time she accuses you of some character defect.
Constantly, and insipidly, ask her if she “likes it this way” during lovemaking.
Forget the art of plain old fucking.
Turn to face her fully as soon as you open a girl. Stay that way while she continues giving you her profile.
Buying girls drinks as a MEANS OF OPENING THEM.
Muck up cold reads until they sound like interrogations.
Show up more than five minutes early for dates. (She doesn’t have to know about this, but it will be written all over your body language.)
Go for the night-ending kiss, get denied, follow up by shouting at her as she’s leaving that you’ll call her. Make it a promise.
Skip on the way home after a “successful” date that did not end in sex.
Apologize for infractions she has not even accused you of.
Support feminism. Make a big show of it.
Ingratiate yourself to her. (Example: “Porn is disgusting. I’d never watch it.”)
Know a little too much about the TV wasteland, articles in the Style section of any major newspaper, or women’s fashion.
Make breakfast for her after the first night together. (She has not yet earned your LTR provisions. Buying her breakfast at the local deli is OK.)
Deprecate yourself for cheap laughs and conversation fuel. (As an example of the handicap principle in action, self-deprecation is acceptable in small — very small — doses.)
Follow her from bar to bar.
Join her plans instead of inviting her to join your plans.
Agree to meet her friends before you have sexed her. (Note: this can be pulled off if you have very high value or tight game, and you are certain sex is an eventual given.)
Wait in the exact same spot for her to return after she has told you she’ll be gone for ten minutes. Talk to no one while waiting.
Pine over, or disparage, your ex on a first date.
Listen to her intently when she talks about her exes.
Always follow her conversational lead. Never veer off the path she lays out, or start your own path.
Touch her hair too soon.
Sit with your legs crossed. (Acceptable only if you are an office executive.)
Sweat profusely from anything other than vigorous exercise, sex or fighting.
Eagerly say yes to every one of her requests. (“No” is a powerful male attractant. The mere utterance of it can electrify vulvae.)
Be hopelessly indecisive.
Fail every shit test in spectacular fashion. (Example: vehemently deny you are the thing she says you are.)
Pick your nose and wipe the booger on her forehead. (Save this for the six month mark, at which point she’ll be too invested to do anything more than feebly complain.)

There are many more anti-game tells, but I’ll stop for now. You should get the gist.

***

Anti-game is the suite of low-value male characteristics that actively repulses girls. It is a constellation of insecure, approval-seeking behavior that is a leading indicator the man behaving in such a way is a loser, and worse, believes he is a loser. Anti-game is distinguishable from no-game by the proactive and accelerated nature of its tendency to trigger disgust in women. A no-game-having beta can sometimes obliviously motor through a pickup if the girl he is hitting on is low value herself, or finds him peculiarly attractive, and thus more likely to forgive his lack of charm. But an anti-game-having beta will actually cause an incipient attraction a girl may have for him to quickly dissipate. Anti-game is the equivalent of a monkey throwing feces in the face of a prospective mate. Or Ahmadinejad bloviating about the 12th iman at the UN.

Anti-game, by the way, is a great method for manipulating a girl to break up with you so you don’t have to do the dirty work.

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Overselectivity And Anti-Game: Like Oil And Water

Recently, a nerdgirl who works for the nerd site Gizmodo and has a lazy nerd eye and crooked nerd face wrote about her disgust at having dated a nerdguy who, she found out during the course of the date, was a grand champion at some nerd card game called Magic the Nerdering. Dalrock has a good round-up of the nerdy non-affair.

In delicious comeuppance, it turns out our intrepid nerdgirl with her 463 bullet point checklist rejected not just a nerd with nerdy hobbies, but a wealthy hedge fund manager. And if you want to call this revenge (of the spastic sort), brigades of sympathetic nerdboys stormed the Blogstille to throw their venom-tipped Chinese nerd stars at nerdgirl’s soul. (I can’t be bothered to spell out nerdgirl’s real name, such a vapid nonentity she is.) In good nerdy form, she skulked away to lick her wounds.

You might think this is going to be a post piling on nerdgirl’s ridiculously trumped-up standards. After all, nerdgirl is a 4 in beneficially dim lighting, so the only standards she can plausibly hope to meet in men are mental stability and merely intermittent halitosis.

Nerdgirl is the classic entitled American feminist shill and princess wannabe (try squaring that circle — you’ll need a hamster) who suffers from a psychological disorder known as overselectivity (you heard it here first!). She demands for herself from men what she has no ability to give in female value. Result? Dateless, alone, prone to neurotic outbursts on blogs and/or self-mutilation, and a creepy maternal love for all things feline.

Truth, but that is not where your focus should be. Nerdgirl’s public rejection — a type of rejection women only do when they are so thoroughly turned off with a date that they feel a need to lash out in penance for their own lack of judgment — of a man who, on paper at least, is way out of her league, proves a core tenet of game:

Maxim #49: If you have no game, or worse, anti-game, little else will compensate for your unattractiveness.

Nerdiness in style, mannerism and behavior is anti-game. It is even worse than having no game. You can actively repulse a woman who would normally think you a possible match if you run anti-game on her. Men with no game at least get lucky sometimes by steering clear of major fuckups.

Despite his riches, sterling character and good manners, hedge fund nerdguy was a nerd to the bone, and his every verbal and nonverbal tic likely telegraphed that unpalatable fact to his date. The way to bet is that a grand champion of a nerdy hobby is a nerd in most facets of life, and it was his nerdy charmless demeanor — not his involvement with a nerdy pastime — that disgusted nerdgirl and motivated her to libel him, (and inadvertently out herself as an ugly bitch to be avoided).

Need clarity on this point? Sure. Take a guy with game and tell him he has to mention at some point during a date with a hottie that he won a championship playing a nerdy hobby. Do you really think this stipulation will deep six his chances? No, it won’t. If anything, a pickup artist will reframe this tidbit of normally unsexy information in his favor, getting to the girl qualify herself to him that she’s smart enough and adventurous enough to understand the thrill of winning competitions. And she’ll lap it up. Know why? Because everything else about him will be subcommunicating CHARMING BASTARD.

And that’s the moral of this nerd tale of woe. Nn matter how kind you are, how much character you possess, how easy on the eyes you are, or how much money you make, a nerdy personality and anti-game will render you unfit for mating by a pig-faced 4 with delusions of high sexual market value.

PS: Here is a picture of Good Dog Greg, for your amusement:

UPDATE

An astute commenter noted that sometimes these plainer and uglier girls have something to prove that hotter girls, with their more secure belief in their hotness, don’t. So, paradoxically, a high value man might find it tougher to game a 4 into bed than an 8. In this case, that could have happened. Nerdgirl wants the world to know — really, she just wants to convince herself — that she is hot shit, so rejecting nerdguy helped assuage her tattered and frayed ego, giving her an imaginary SMV boost that won’t last past the next pump and dump she endures at the hands of an even nerdier guy.

You can conclude from this theory that men who are beginning to shed their worst beta habits by adopting game would have more success trying to pick up hotter girls than they’re used to, instead of sticking with the nasty little frumps they have become accustomed to thinking that’s all they deserve.

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Beta Of The Month

This guy:

The only thing gayer than inking John Elway’s face inches from his nads would be tattooing a giant, erect prick up his leg. Preferably black.

The display of male superstars’ names in the form of tattoos or jerseys is something that has always perplexed me. As a man, it makes no sense to advertise a much higher status man on your body like a billboard. It screams beta, if not omega. And yet, go to any sports event and you’ll see lots of jock-y meatheads, tough guys and douchebags doing just that. Don’t they realize how lame it looks to women, to boost the competition? The only explanation is that the dudes who do this have no clue how women think.

I suppose there is some evolutionary-based reason for it. Perhaps in the EEA, associating yourself with an alpha male would increase the chance that he would drop some of his sloppy seconds in your lap. But that is not the case today. Sucking the titular cocks of sports stars or rock stars is nothing short of slavish worship, and worshipping another man is the hallmark of the beta mentality.

Wearing the jersey — let alone tattooing his mug on your leg — of some millionaire athlete with a harem of hotties you could only dream of banging is analogous to the cuckold fetishist who sits in a corner feebly stroking it with a pair of tweezers while some grossly overhung studhorse jackhammers his wife into multiple Os. Think about that the next time you’re tempted to feel pride wearing Jeter’s shirt over your manboobs. You may as well be tucking your junk and licking his balls to a polished shine.

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Girl Admits She Loathes Niceguy “Boyfriend”

This email, assuming it’s not fake, has been making the rounds (via Instapundit):

I have been seeing a guy for seven months now. He is a nice guy — probably the nicest guy I ever dated — very caring, respectful and treats me like a lady (brings me flowers unexpectedly, watches horror movies even though he doesn’t like them). Before him, I dated guys who were unavailable or just with me for all the wrong reasons. I started dating him four months [after] a break-up with a guy I was madly in love with and I still think of him.

My problem is that I am not sexually attracted to this nicest guy in the world and I feel super guilty about it. I don’t know what’s wrong with me; I feel like a horrible and shallow person by saying this but I am not attracted to his body type. We haven’t had sex, and we rarely kiss when he tries to make out with me (I usually have to force myself when we do). He has asked me on several occasions if I am not attracted to him and I have always lied and said that I am and that I am not ready to have sex, but the truth is I am not ready to have sex with him.

Recently he has introduced me to his family and has even mentioned the “love” and “marriage” words, and now I am confused and afraid that I am far to into it to just tell him that I am not into him. I don’t want to hurt his feelings as I believe in Karma and think that it will come back to bite me. I want to be sexually attracted to him because I think he will be a good provider and is definitely marriage material but I don’t know how to get myself there. I have read self-help books to try and seek the answer to this question but with no help. I can’t have a conversation with my girlfriends because I am afraid they will judge me. I don’t know what to do. I don’t want to end up alone or realize that he was the best thing in my life after he is gone. Please help. — Not Sexually Attracted

First, let’s get something straight. You haven’t been “seeing” a guy for seven months if you haven’t banged. At best, you’ve been hanging out with him and using him for seven months to meet your nonsexual needs. Like you might do with a friend. Or a puppy. Chicks these days need to stop redefining words that strip them of their implied meanings. That road leads to believing anal sex isn’t really sex. Or purple saguaros are actually back massagers.

Second, any man who tells a girl he loves her and wants to marry her AFTER SEVEN SEXLESS MONTHS is a leading candidate for beta of the year. Such a man wouldn’t know the first thing about how women work, and it’s no surprise that any girl stuck with a clingy loser like that would take advantage of him. We humans are programmed to prey on the weak, and this chick is no exception.

Third, never propose to a girl who writes “super guilty”.

Fourth, as a man with a pulse, you should be able to tell when a woman isn’t into kissing you. If she’s pulling backwards constantly, or making scrunchy faces like she just drank sour milk, you need to find that last ounce of dignity and walk away.

I don’t think there’s any news here that chicks love unavailable assholes and feel nothing in the vageen for genuinely nice guys. We’ve trod this territory plenty of times. Its truth is self-evident to anyone with the eyes to see. The more interesting angle, (again, assuming this email is legit), is the inside look at how easily, and without any apparent remorse, a girl will string along a beta schlub to extract emotional and material benefits from him.

Whenever the traditionalists and fembots pipe up about the innate purity of women’s sexual desire as opposed to men’s creepy and animalistic desire, it’s a good idea to helpfully remind them that the crass manipulation of a lovestruck suitor is an equal opportunity moral failing. I’d go so far as to say that using the opposite sex for favors while offering nothing in return that they want is largely the province of women who, after all, far outnumber the small wedge of alpha males who are able to successfully use women for sexual gratification. On the numbers alone, there have to be a lot more situations where a girl strings along a parade of sycophantic betas in a sexless purgatory than where a high status man strings a harem along in noncommittal sexual pleasure.

My advice to the girl who wrote the email:

Keep using your #1 herb. But don’t push it too far, or he might crack. Don’t be surprised if one day he has a Rainman freakout, his eyes wild with rage and spittle flying everywhere, the vein bulging in his neck, yelling at you for some trivial infraction that finally puts him over the edge.

My advice to the beta protagonist:

Grow a pair. Quit her.

My advice if this email was fake:

Thanks for the springboard.

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