I Only Play Games With Girls Who Deserve It

I get this occasionally from some girls I date, usually after they have dumped a major shit test on me and I am forced to respond with advanced game:

“Why does everything have to be a test with you?”

I thought about this and reflected on my history with women. It was partly true. With certain girls I’ve dated, I was in game mode all the time. One girl even said that she knew when I would return her calls because I would always wait the requisite 20 minutes.

Dispiritingly, dogmatic game — press this button, pull that lever — will work as intended. You can never truly BE YOURSELF with women because almost all men being themselves will regress to lounging on the couch in their underwear as long as their basic needs are met. Literally, you could put a feeding tube in a guy’s mouth, a drainage tube up his anus, a playstation controller in his hand, and a girl’s mouth on his cock and he’ll lay there like that until he spontaneously self-combusts.

And women too. Look what happens to women who have totally given up on finding a man — they blow up like whales, wear flip flops all the time, and cut their hair short. When you see a frumpy, charmless, fat woman you know she is BEING HERSELF.

So why do I overgame with some girls and not others? It’s not a looks thing. Some of the prettiest girls I’ve been with were a breeze to handle once in a relationship, even though during the first crucial dates they were the toughest to game. Hot girls tend to frontload their gameplaying, so if you breach their beachhead it’s a clear march to center city.

I think it’s an ego issue, or maybe one of intelligence. Very smart girls are always on the lookout for Machiavellian maneuvers in their men because they do it themselves. The world is our mirror. Combined with a powerful but sensitive ego, a girl like this will be hyperaware of manipulation and deathly afraid of getting hurt. Stephane of Ideagasms calls these types of women (and men) Interrogators — a subspecies of Energy Vampires:

Interrogators are (initially) difficult to detect, because
they are perfectionists; These people see the life as a
competitive GAME and they are quite masterful when it comes
to manipulating others.  

Their philosophy?  “Life is just a game – You either play
by the rules, or you’re a loser.” They see the world as
Win/Lose instead of Win/Win.

That’s a great metaphor for explaining what Interrogators
do to people, because when you spot an Interrogator and try
to gently point out what he or she is doing, they too will
pretend that they are innocent and that this heavily
ingrained and entirely OBVIOUS pattern of behavior does not
exist.

Then they will turn around and casually remark that there is
something wrong with YOU. They’ll go, “Why would you say
that? Why are you so PARANOID, huh?” (Notice they are not
really asking a question, but rather, making a statement
about you.)

Or they will accuse you of being “too sensitive”… as if
*sensitivity* was a bad thing!

MANY of the top “seduction community gurus” are simply
INTERROGATORS. This is why they “play the game” and have
all sorts of complicated “chess moves” and strategies for
interacting with women. They have a HIDDEN AGENDA.

Interrogators ask a lot of rhetorical questions, and often play
“Devil’s advocate”. But, the questions they ask are not
questions at all! It is their attempt to break down your
reality in the form of negative presuppositions about you.

Overgaming can be caustic to forming a relationship with a girl you really like. The best relationships are built on a foundation of sincerity, not mutually asssured deconstruction. It’s a tragedy when the couple really like each other and the mutual gaming undermines the potential for a deeper connection. Game and ego-protection will always be a necessary component of any interaction you have with quality women, but it should be relegated to a supplement after a certain amount of bonding has occurred. At some point, you have to open your heart and let the chips fall where they may.

So when I game too much for too long, it’s with the girls who deserve it. If I’m getting shit tested all the time, or she’s in Aloof and Indifferent mode every other day, or I sense that she’s hiding something, I will respond in kind. We calibrate our actions and behavior to match the other person’s. Women, being the gatekeepers and mate choosers, are responsible for how men strategize to get in their pants and their hearts. If a girl makes it hard for a guy to be sincere by playing Miss Scheming Queen, he will react with more game. If she’s letting him know how much she loves him, he will be real with her.

You get what you give.

Make no mistake, this is not an anti-game screed. Game is absolutely essential in the beginning stages (See: Mystery Method’s A1 – S3) for every women you want to sex, unless your value is so much higher than hers that you can do nothing and she’ll throw herself on your junk. Relationship game is also important to keep the embers burning.

But in time the doubt has to ease and the soul has to breathe. Anything less would be… uncivilized.

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The Biggest Misogynists Are Other Women

Think about some of the worst insults you could call a woman:

Slut.
Whore.
Skank.

These words are powerful because they strike right at the thermal core of a woman’s self-conception — they are reputation-killing words, and in the shark-eat-shark waters of the sexual market a woman’s reputation can mean the difference between getting pumped and dumped by the man of her dreams and getting him to commit. The best way to get a man to propose marriage is to be a virgin.

Who deploys these words in vengeful anger and spiteful slander? Not men. For example, when men use the word “slut” it’s usually with their male buddies as an exercise in identifying the women most likely to put out on the first date. Men will almost never call a woman a slut to her face unless it’s a bitter, jilted ex-boyfriend looking to score points, nor will they tell the woman’s girlfriends that she is a slut. Why kill the loose goose that lays the golden lays?

Women use them against other women. It’s women whispering gossip and innuendo in the ears of whatever female node on their social network is willing to listen, subconsciously calculating that the souldiss will find its way to the intended target. Why do they do this? Because sluts, whores, and skanks make it harder for other girls to use sex as a bargaining chip to extract commitment from quality men and keep it once it is made. Sluts are traitors to the sisterhood, undermining the prime directive and making it more difficult for the commitment whores to get what they want.

It’s all supply and demand, and right now the supply is saturating the market (for qualified buyers).

Note that words like “cunt” and “bitch” don’t cut with the same eviscerating precision when used by women. A cunt or bitch can often be very sexy and still get what she wants from men. Calling a girl a cunt is most effective when wielded by men because disparaging a woman’s personality carries more weight when it comes from a man. For this reason, women (especially “tankgrrls” like the aging cougar brigade and sassy sister soldierettes you see infesting DC) co-opt cunt and bitch for themselves in a feeble and transparent attempt to neutralize the words of their explosive power.

The thermonuclear 1,000 megaton bomb of female-targeted insults is the word UGLY. It is so powerful you will rarely hear women use it against even their worst girl enemies, and most men are loathe to launch this verbal missile. It isn’t a misogynistic word since it is gender neutral, but given the double standards of human nature it doesn’t pack the same wallop when used against a man. Timing, context, and delivery are everything if you decide to detonate this MOAB.

The male equivalent is LOSER.

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Handicap Principle

A reader sent me this pic of Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes and wondered if it showed that Cruise is secretly a nancyboy beta:

signaling the mothership.

The average man could not get away with this obsequious lean-in. If the average man did this with his girlfriend in public men looking on would cringe and women would “AWW” with pity as their vaginas snapped shut. Later that night, the girlfriend of the average man who leaned in would find an excuse to not have sex with him.

Despite the lean-in and the jumping up and down on couches professing his love for Katie, Tom Cruise is a super alpha. He can afford to display the saccharine romantic lovey-dovey behavior of the daydreaming beta because he has extra alpha to spare. It’s why rock stars can sing about the most maudlin treacle, emoting to their hearts’ content about writing love letters for that one special girl who dances in the meadows, without incurring a hit to their sexual market value. In fact, beta signaling by an alpha will actually raise the alpha’s status, helping him avoid the pitfall of being tagged as “arrogant” by potential admirers.

Therefore, if you are a natural super alpha, some acceptable beta things you can do (or are likely already doing) to handicap yourself and paradoxically increase your value are:

• Self-deprecating humor

Natural betas who self-deprecate too much are seen as weak and self-loathing. Natural alphas who self-deprecate are viewed as charming.

• Buying girls drinks

A beta who is generous too soon will seem approval-seeking. An alpha who is generous will seem like an alpha who is generous.

• PDA

Betas should really try hard to curb this urge. Alphas don’t have to worry about slobbering over their girlfriends once in a while, though they rarely do.

• Poetry and mash notes

The closer you are to a natural super alpha, the more you can live your life like a Hollywood movie. This means writing poetry for your girl won’t cost you attractiveness points. If you are a beta, you should never pour your heart out in poems for your girl, unless she has gotten older or fatter. In those cases, she will receive your poem with more gratitude.

• Crying

Dangerous! To be on the safe side, neither alphas nor betas should ever cry in front of their girlfriends, and preferably not in private either (it builds the right habits). But if the circumstances are favorable, and the alpha vibe is particularly strong, and his crying technique is solid, a man may shed a single tear. If all goes well, this act of vulnerability can make a girl’s heart explode with love. NOTE: If your pregnant tear has succeeded in eliciting sexually aroused emotions in your girl, DO NOT get greedy and attempt a second tear. The spell can be broken as quickly as it was cast, and you will go from sensitive strongman to weepy wuss instantly. Wait at least one year before unloading the powerful man tears again.

• Complimenting other men

A beta should refrain from excessive flattery of his betters. In fact, the beta should try not to compliment other men at all, even when the compliment is deserved and the other man’s social cachet is obvious. It’s just too risky. People will presume the complimenting beta is a lickspittle as opposed to assuming the complimenting alpha is someone who is secure enough in himself to offer kind words to other men.

• Lovemaking

Betas – don’t. You should stick to aggressive fucking and kinky sex. An alpha can mix it up with slow lovemaking without risking his status as the one “in charge” in the bedroom.

• Porn

Betas should try and conceal their extensive porn collection from their women, because otherwise they will be pegged as loser pervs. Alphas don’t need to be so secretive about their porn. She’ll probably blame herself for not being enough for him and work twice as hard during sex.

Postscript: Where beta signaling works for alphas, alpha signaling works for betas. Alpha signaling is the heart of game.

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May 2008 Comment Winner

For the second time in a row* (there was no April comment winner because all the comments in April sucked) droll and deadpan blogfly Gannon takes home the prize with his comment on my post Overheard In DC:

The real culprit is that women’s extended adolescence increases each year. Age of first marriage delys itself more and more, specially among high and middle class (middle class girls aspire to be high class) women. A lot of women nowadays marry at around 30, an age where their fertility has decreased a lot. Sure, a lot of women in their thirties have children. But also, a lot of women in their thirties can’t have children anymore. The real age brackets which always have produced the most children are the women aged 16-30. That is the age when women can produce the next generation. Teen girls are as fertile as shit. Fuck a 16 year old girl three times, and voilá, she will be knocked up. You can fuck some 30something year old woman for months, use a table to determine her fertile days, raise her hips to allow your spunk to get to the matrix but even then that gal’s belly won´t grow.

Can’t argue with the facts, but what I really liked was his description of a woman’s reproductive organs as the “matrix”. When you plunge into a woman’s furrow it really is like entering an alternate universe of flytraps, clanking gears, flesh portals, and undulating catacombs.

Gannon’s comment reminded me of the movie Juno. She sits on a cock once for two seconds and gets pregnant, while some 33 year old somewhere is hopped up on witch doctor fertility drugs imported from India and dangling upside-down from a mechanical contraption at the exact moment the moon enters its third phase crescent and Jupiter aligns with Uranus, barking at her man to hurry up and finish the job as she grips the base of his shaft to squeeze out the last life-giving droplet and he drops dead from a heart attack from overexerting himself in an activity that has ceased to be enjoyable.

May 2008 Comment Winner Runner-Up is Shivani on my post From Kitten To Cougar:

GAWD!!! never have I ever been more disgusted by a post but at the same time couldn’t take my eyes off of it.

My work here is done.

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Stray Thoughts On The Nature Of The Game

Don’t answer all of a girl’s questions, especially when it feels like you are being interrogated. Refraining from giving her satisfactory answers helps move the seduction forward in two ways. One, it builds mystery. Two, if you answer all her questions she has more material with which to judge you when she gets home after the date and mulls everything over in her chaotic head. Don’t be surprised if you don’t get a call back after you have dutifully answered all her questions.

***

The best reason to learn game is that it is a shortcut to a woman’s pussy and heart. With game, you can stop wasting years as an empty vessel of society’s expectations scraping and clawing your way into a respectable bourgeois existence for your shot at one mediocre pussy and a gift registry at Williams & Sonoma. There is no need to become an “alpha among men” when you can skip the middleman and go straight to becoming an “alpha among women”. Of course, becoming an alpha among men is fun in its own right, but it’s no longer necessary to enjoy a life filled with the love of beautiful and sexy women. In fact, it never was necessary.

***

When the revelation that there is nothing after this life but the illimitable black void is grasped, hedonism is the only logical answer.

***

When a girl asks you “What are you thinking about right now?” know that this is code for “I’m really falling for you and want to know if you feel the same about me.” Don’t be an earnest beta and make the mistake of taking the bait! Avoid saying “I think I’m in love with you” or “I’m thinking about us” at all costs. Instead, say something like “I can’t think right now because you’ve paralyzed my thoughts.” Or, if you want to keep it simple, say “Um, nothing.”

Maxim #6: Never Make It Easy For A Girl

– Sometimes a girl will drop a stinky bait. Don’t bite! She wants to chase you around the lake forever.

***

Never tell a girl you are looking for a relationship. Many girls will ask, sometimes as early as the first date, what you are looking for from women. For the love of all that is holy and sacred do NOT say you are in the market for a relationship. Similarly, never say you wouldn’t mind “settling down”, or that you are discouraged by the dating scene, or you really wish you could stop dating around and find the right girl. It doesn’t matter if you truly feel this way; saying any of these out loud, especially to a girl you have just started dating, is poison to the seduction. Best to either ignore her probing question or answer vaguely along the lines of “I dunno, just dating until I find a girl I click with.” Also, saying “Whoa, not so fast tiger!” can be funny and stimulating to her vagina.

***

Slap your girl’s ass in public once in a while, hard. Territorial pissing is a turn-on in small spurts.

***

When you are with your girl and another alpha male is the center of attention (let’s say by being funny, or juggling balls) the best thing you can do is casually and briefly acknowledge his talents and otherwise ignore him. She will poke you for weakness whenever a bigger dog struts on the scene, so you’d be smart to be aware of this irrepressible female urge and not get defensive. NEVER imply that a bigger alpha is a threat to you, either in anger or in sarcastic putdown. You are who you are, which is the best she will ever have, so if some guy is a great karaoke singer and you’re offstage enjoying the show it’s no big deal — his skills cannot begin to compete with your total package, so you are free to compliment him without a hint of resentment.

Maxim #7: Your girl will thank you for your steadfast devotion to your belief in yourself.

***

When your girl buys you something or gets you a present, don’t immediately buy her something in return. No girl wants to feel like you got her a gift out of obligation. Tit for tat kills the sexy fun vibe. She appreciates your gifts when you are motivated by nothing else but your warm feelings for her. In this vein, it’s better to give her gifts at random times, rather than on birthdays, anniversaries, or holidays.

***

Speaking of gifts, the best players I know buy their girls NOTHING. And their girls love them with everything they have. Talk about trashing societal admonishments.

***

As a birthday gift for your girl, a grape seed oil massage beats a tennis bracelet EVERY TIME.

***

If you want to save money, doing things for a girl is always better than buying things for her. So, for example, learn photography and shoot sexy nude black and white photos of her. Or take her for a ride on a scooter through the countryside. She’ll appreciate that a lot more than a trendy item with a high price tag.

***

Fucking a girl right is worth more than a $20,000 engagement ring. I am not kidding.

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Ugly Outside = Ugly Inside

you can’t judge a book by its cover.

it’s what’s on the inside that counts.

beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

Toss another three cliches in the trash. This article talks about studies showing that ugly people commit more crime:

“We find that unattractive individuals commit more crime in comparison to average-looking ones, and very attractive individuals commit less crime in comparison to those who are average-looking,” claim Naci Mocan of the University of Colorado and Erdal Tekin of Georgia State University.

Mocan and Tekin analyzed data from a federally sponsored survey of 15,000 high-schoolers who were interviewed in 1994 and again in 1996 and 2002. One question asked interviewers to rate the physical appearance of the student on a five-point scale ranging from “very attractive” to “very unattractive.”

How rude of people to agree on what’s ugly and what isn’t!

These economists found that the long-term consequences of being young and ugly were small but consistent. Cute guys were uniformly less likely than averages would indicate to have committed seven crimes including burglary and selling drugs, while the unhandsome were consistently more likely to have broken the law.

Very attractive high school girls were less likely to commit six of the seven crimes, while those rated unattractive were more likely to have done six of seven, controlling for personal and family characteristics known to be associated with criminal behavior.

It’s practically a biblical injunction that thou shalt not make presumptions about the character of people based on their physical attributes. Yet here is proof that yes, we can make useful generalizations about people with the bad luck to be born with unappealing faces. Whether the ugly face itself causes criminal tendencies or the social disadvantages steer an ugly person into crime is irrelevant to the wisdom of judgment. If an ugly person is more likely to do A, people around him will respond by doing B.

Some other things you can assume about ugly people and be right more often than not:

Bitter. (wouldn’t you be if your condition was the last acceptable form of public contempt?)
Less intelligent. (smart guys and hot chicks mate assortatively)
Crappy social skills. (socially adept guys tend to have children with hot chicks)
Below the median income. (no promotions for you!)
Depressed. (imagine a life of constant, gnawing pain)
Lonely. (no one likes to be around suicidally depressed people)
Hard up. (girls and guys, though the ugly threshold for hard up-ness is lower for men)
Smells bad. (when a shower isn’t going to help your cause, why bother?)
Introverted. (naturally extroverted ugly people learn the hard way that no one wants to party with them. they eventually hide in their apartments all the time)
Belligerent. (an ugly person who doesn’t retreat to solitude and braves public scorn starts to expect the worst from people and defaults to hatemode)

There’s a reason we associate certain personality traits with physical ugliness. Grendel and Gollum ask you to understand.

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Relationships Kill Sex

The longer a woman is in a relationship, the less often she wants sex.

A woman’s sex drive begins to plummet once she is in a secure relationship, according to research.

Researchers from Germany found that four years into a relationship, less than half of 30-year-old women wanted regular sex.

Conversely, the team found a man’s libido remained the same regardless of how long he had been in a relationship.

This is great justification for men to either keep a harem with high turnover, or to be serially monogamous with a few unjaded mistresses on the side. If you include a woman’s sex drive as a variable, her shelf life in a relationship is even shorter than her remaining years of youth would indicate.

They found 60% of 30-year-old women wanted sex “often” at the beginning of a relationship, but within four years of the relationship this figure fell to under 50%, and after 20 years it dropped to about 20%.

In contrast, they found the proportion of men wanting regular sex remained at between 60-80%, regardless of how long they had been in a relationship.

This proves that men were designed by the forces of natural selection to seek out new willing partners every few years. I think the concubines would be OK with this arrangement as long as the harem keeper continued to financially, if not emotionally, provide for the aging mothers of his children. In polygamous societies, the discarded older wives get their emotional nourishment from gossiping with each other and collectively raising the children. People would be surprised how effortlessly most women could fall into a polygamist arrangement, given the right social environment. Their uncontrollable lust for alpha males would be unquenchable were it not for artificial cultural boundaries.

He said: “For men, a good reason their sexual motivation to remain constant would be to guard against being cuckolded by another male.”

But women, he said, have evolved to have a high sex drive when they are initially in a relationship in order to form a “pair bond” with their partner.

But, once this bond is sealed a woman’s sexual appetite declines, he added.

Goddamn the market for sexbots will be huge.

Lesson for men: Start prowling around the first time your girlfriend or wife says she has a headache. It’s only going to get worse.

“The rational for why a woman’s sex drive declines may be down to supply and demand. If something is in infinite supply, the perceived value would drop.”

Myth shattered: The bonds of long-lasting love in a committed relationship make for better (read: more frequent) sex.

I suppose couples could go the kinky route to reinvigorate their moribund sex lives, but that reeks of desperation. Nothing says “I want to fuck you” like prepping with a chest full of leather masks and mechanical gadgets. The woman’s naked body should be enough to get the man hard.

They could also not have children. I bet that would keep the flames burning a few extra years. Or they could follow the recommendation and give the man room to stray. A man getting fresh vagina on the side is a happier husband for his frigid wife.

This has been yet another after school special shattering popular myths brought to you by me, your envoy of strife, hate, and gleeful cruelty.

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