Don’t Stop Thinking About The Next Girl

A big mistake guys make when they start dating a girl they really like — the “one” — is neglecting to continue going out and getting fresh leads.  I used to do this, so I know the mental processes that go through a guy’s head when he’s really into a girl he’s dating.  He channels all his pickup energy into this one girl, figuring that if he made it as far as a first or a second date he should focus like a laser beam on her pants zipper.  He spends the long days in between seeing her analyzing his progress, picking apart the meaning behind her actions (or inactions), and daydreaming about what a relationship would be like with her.  When he goes out, he gets lazy and tells himself there is no urgency to collect new numbers since he’s already dating a quality chick and most of the other girls can’t compare anyhow.

This is a sexually lethal frame of mind to put oneself in.  When a guy completely boxes himself in like this with no options to fall back on, all it takes is a change of heart by his golden girl to crush his soul and send him spiraling into morose self-examination.  It’s like investing your whole wad in a biotech startup with huge promise only to see it crash to a sub-penny stock after the CEO is convicted of fraud.  You’d have been a lot better off diversifying your portfolio in a range of pussy sectors.

As an example, once, during the course of a month, I had four second dates in a row fizzle out on me leading to no sex.  I made a critical error by jumping from one girl to the next — dating, failing, getting a new lead, dating again, failing again, etc.  My desperation and self-doubt grew with each new girl, practically ensuring failure.

The way to beat this crippling dating handicap is to follow the “two in the kitty” rule religiously.  You should date a minimum of two girls simultaneously until you have locked in your preferred girl by having sex with her at least three times.  I have found through trial and error that a girl will bond to you after the third bang.  Before that, it’s a crapshoot and depends on the girl’s innate femininity.  Because modern girls have taken on male characteristics (especially DC girls who are more masculine than girls from less ambitious or overeducated towns) and are sluttier than past generations, the first or second bang won’t guarantee emotional attachment.  By the third bang, however, you will notice a very perceptible shift in the balance of power.  Suddenly, she will call and text you first, ask about your weekend schedule, tell you to “give me a call soon”, start doing favors for you, cuddle longer, and generally betray signs of nervousness when you make yourself physically or emotionally scarce.

That is when you will have her in the palm of your hand and can steer the relationship in the direction you want it to go.

A guy can achieve this if he adheres to these fundamental principles:

1. Other girls CAN compare.  Girls are more interchangeable than you’d think.  Don’t get sucked into “oneitis”.
2. If you date one girl exclusively and she really turns you on, you WILL give off a needy vibe at some point during the pre-sex seduction no matter how much experience you have.  The best players who have ice running through their veins and cyborgian state control get that way because they date and fuck many girls concurrently.
3. A good date means nothing.  The only thing that matters is penis in vagina, and even then a feeling of security is not assured until the penis has penetrated the vagina on at least three different occasions.  (Three times in one night does not count.)
4. You will find it easier to close the deal with your number one girl if you are banging a number two and three girl.  A man getting regular sex has an aura that girls subconsciously register in their hindbrains.  Don’t ask me how this happens, but it does.  The Aura is very powerful, like the chemical hormones secreted by ants and bees to get them to cooperate as a social structure, and will be your Valkyrie in the battle for pussy.
5. Approach the game while dating as ardently as you do when you are dating no one.  If you have a date Tuesday, go out Monday and Wednesday and get more numbers.  Even if you fail at getting numbers, just taking the initiative of meeting new girls and chatting them up will reduce the neediness you feel with your date.
6. Never, EVER, feel guilty for dating and banging many girls simultaneously.  The mating marketplace is a battlefield and the Genitalia Convention rules of engagement clearly stipulate that it’s open season for fucking around until terms of exclusivity are tendered.  This is not your mother’s dating environment.
7. A hot chick is MORE likely, not less, to continue seeing you if you tell her you are “dating around”.  A guy who knows he has options and is in fact exercising those options is extremely attractive to a girl.

Don’t give a girl the chance to pull the rug out from under you.  Have another ten rugs underneath that one and you will glide through your interactions with women like a shark through a school of mackerel.

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She Showed Herself Out

The weekend morning after a questionable hook-up I often scramble to find a plausible excuse that will gently cajole the girl out the door without hurting her feelings.

“I’d love to hang with you today but I’ve got to take my car into the shop.  Big job… it’ll probably take a few hours.”  [my Japanese car has now been in the shop over 20 times this year thanks to this ploy]

“Getting brunch with you sounds great, but I promised my Mom I’d visit her today.  I’m guessing it’s too early for you to see my Mom.”

“I’ve got a painting class in… oh shit, I’m late!… 15 minutes!  Sorry to do this to you but my art is important to me.”

I suspect most girls see through this bullshit, especially the girls who are prone to sleep with a guy on the first night.  Their direct first-hand experience with guys trying to get rid of them after sex must be unparalleled.  The problem is that I really don’t want to spend a precious weekend day with a marginal girl strolling Wisteria Lane while bluebirds drape garlands of flowers over us.  But I’m not a heartless bastard (much) either, so I work hard on tossing her out with grace and civility, hopefully keeping the door open for future loving.

I remember what it’s like to kick a girl out badly.  One time, before I had the skills to handle morning after mistakes properly, the girl had looked at me forlornly with big, watery eyes as I walked her toward the door, and meekly asked if I wanted to get breakfast with her.  It was her last ditch effort for some symbolic gesture from me that she meant more than the previous night.

I answered “Um, I ate last night.  The best way for you to get home is to take the metro.”

She gathered her stuff, purse over one arm, jacket over the other, and sullenly walked past me as I stood next to the door.  Later, when I had shaken off the hangover and it had dawned on me that this girl was Swedish and a solid 8, I slapped my hand against my forehead and wondered aloud what the hell I was thinking.  The following day in an act of phone game contrition, I called her number.  It was futile.  Her roommate picked up her phone and said my girl didn’t want to talk to me.  No surprise… recapturing a girl’s interest after you have humiliated her by treating her like a disposable slut is akin to putting the toothpaste back in the tube.

So imagine my relief at sidestepping all the awkwardness when a girl does the dirty work for me, letting me entirely off the hook, by preemptively showing herself the door.

Her:  I’d love to cuddle some more but I’ve got work later and some chores to do today.
Me:  [barely suppressing grin]  Well, if this is what you have to do, then I guess I won’t stop you.  I mean, I’d love for you to hang out today but since you’ve got things to do…
Her:  Well, maybe for a couple hours, if you want.
Me:  Uhh, you know, you go ahead and do your stuff… we’ll catch up when we have more free time and can really enjoy each other’s company.

A girl who shows herself out is a keeper.

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Christmas Eve Lone Wolf

VK recently wrote about “bunning up” (“settling down” for you old skool types) before the long cold winter drives the cuties indoors with their Netflix and Jenga slumber parties.  And it’s true — guys have a window of opportunity beween August and Thanksgiving to land a steady girl.  For reasons science hasn’t yet figured out, most breakups happen in August, usually precipitated by the women, who then go on a fall shopping spree for a new beau.  This is your opportunity to strike.  There is a crackle and sizzle in the autumn air as the girls radiate that “please just don’t fuck this up and you can have me” vibe.  The last thing they want is to be alone during the holidays.

A good rule of thumb is to bring your A game before the temps drop into the 30s.  Once the deep chill hides everyone under layers of wool and couples start appearing with their hands in each others’ pockets you’ll find your pickings slim.  But there is one glaring exception.  Perhaps the greatest pickup night of the year, yes even better than Halloween or New Years Eve, is Christmas Eve.

There won’t be many girls out on Christmas Eve but that won’t matter because the one or two you meet (and they will usually be by themselves lamenting their singlehood with a captive bartender) are out for one reason — to get swept off their feet by a guy who will take their minds off their misery.  Meet a reasonably attractive girl on Christmas Eve and if your game is minimally competent you are virtually guaranteed to close the deal that night.

The key is to not make it seem like you are two lonely souls destined to cross paths in a grungy hole in the wall.  That shit only works in the movies.  The reality is that it ruins her fantasy to meet a guy who is just as much a loser in love as she is.  So play up the angle that you have so many family obligations this holiday season you just needed a break from it all and a strong drink in a warm bar sounded perfect.  Tell her you never expected to meet anyone as cool as her out on a night like this.

Running game on a lone wolf means you can segue into rapport building quicker than normal.  A minute to spark attraction is all you’ll need.  Once her eyes are sparkling, move her over to a couch in a dark corner, ask her if she’d like to learn something about herself, and run a few psychological quizzes on her.  Then, lower your lids and your tone of voice and summon the sexual animal in you.  Christmas pheromones.

The last time I did this we left the bar at 9 since they closed early.  We bought a six pack of Michelob Light at the local Chinese take-out which is open year-round.  Since all the bars were closed and I deemed it too soon to head back to my place, we found a streetlamp and cracked open a few beers in the cold night air.  Not a single car drove by.  The city was quiet.  The context and atmosphere did half my work for me.

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Signs Of Sluttiness

There are a few red flags that tip me off about a girl’s sexual history.  I’m a big fan of loose girls as they make my job easier, but there’s no doubt a girl who has spread for you, your friends, your father, mr. ed loses some luster in my eyes.

If I take a girl back to her place for the first time and her roommates act like my presence is no big deal, I lower my opinion of her.  I’m a guy these roommates have never met before, there to engage in explicit acts of defilement, and they’re coming up to me shaking my hand all smiles and telling me to make myself comfortable and would I like anything to drink?  This is how that gets processed in my brain:

Just another guy that XXX has brought back with her.  We’re so accustomed to this by now the shock and awe has worn off.  In fact, maybe I should tell him the house rules about disposing of used condoms.

Here’s a hint, ladies.  When I go back to your place and you have roommates, I want your roomies scurrying like rats looking for a dark place to hide.  I do not want it to be the View with special male guest.  Unless your roommates are cute females open to group sex, nothing kills the passion faster than a nonchalant hippie commune vibe.

***

I appreciate a girl who asks if I have a condom.  But when I don’t and she reaches into her nightstand to get one I don’t want to see six different varieties (especially Trojan Magnum) in half-empty econoboxes tumble out.  Again, this is what I’m thinking:

So you work as a condom quality control tester.  After much trial and error with repeated penetrations from an assortment of penis shapes and sizes you have zeroed in on your favorite brand.

“Happen” to have one lying around.  Ignorance is bliss.

***

Spontaneous dirty talk is hot.  Sex talk that sounds like either you watch a lot of porn and are trying to mimic a pornstar (which is kinda pathetic) or it was rehearsed over and over again with many different guys until you got it just right is not hot.  I don’t want our intimacy to sound scripted.

Yeah, right there, fuck me right there.  yeah you like it there don’t you?  Oh yeah, a little harder.  Harder.  HARDER!  you want some of this?  you like my tight pussy?  stick it in me deep.  all the way in.  fuck me fuck me fuck me oh yeah i’m a bad girl aren’t i? you like a bad girl dontcha?  oh yeah your cock is soo big it feels soo good a little more like that just like that.  you love jamming it into my hot wet tight pussy…

Sometimes silence is golden.  A soft moan goes a long way.

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