I Joined Twitter

I think it’s retarded. But when the whole world is being retarded it pays to join them. It’ll make life easier and you’ll feel better.

I’m a Killer App Konformist.

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Male Birth Control Pill

Also known as the brozenge.*

Here it cums!** Well, almost. If it does happen, here are my predictions:

Market Penetration – deep and wide.

Condoms are everywhere. So will be the male pill. Except for the CVS in my hood where they will be locked behind bullet proof glass and only accessible via an embarrassing request to the pharmacist, an East Indian middle-aged woman who will glower at you with the stink-eye as cute shoppers stand nearby and suppress giggles while they scan you up and down wondering if your package really is as massive as the magnums you just bought and extrapolating the quality of girl you are banging based on the swagger with which you make your request. Be sure to throw them a sly smile as you grab the box. They’re curious. You know they’re curious. They know you know they’re curious. Game on.***

Firmness of Adoption – vertical prominance.

Not only will many men avail themselves of the brozenge, they will also be repeat customers to the exclusion of all other contraceptive methods. Fact: condoms suck. A latex sheath is a total pleasure killjoy. The female pill is far superior to condoms but no man should ever trust his health, freedom, and reproductive rights to a woman’s whims. The male pill solves this problem. I’m avidly pro-choice.

Cultural Eruption – premature idiocracy.

The male pill will accelerate already ominous demographic trends. Stupid men, just like stupid women, will be less than diligent taking the pill to prevent pregnancy. With two kinds of pills, irresponsibility on the left side of the bell curve is twice as likely because one partner will assume the other partner is taking the necessary precautions and thus find a reason to slack off. “I thought you were on it!” “But I thought YOU were on it!!” Condom sales plummet. End result: a massive dumbing down of America. Say goodbye to bridges that don’t collapse.

In a male pill future, three types of men will contribute to subsequent generations.

1. Feminine men. The kind of guy who WANTS children is more feminine than the average guy who’d rather be poolside. Even betas prefer sex to childrearing, so there will be a natural selection for children born to womanly uberbeta fathers. Their future boys will play house with Barbies and jerk off to soft-focus, plot-driven porn.
2. Wealthy super alphas. At the very top there will be those men who don’t mind impregnating their wives, the wives of the uberbetas, and their mistresses because they can afford to dump the responsibility of raising them on an army of imported nannies. Their ability to live for fun won’t be compromised. The super alphas’ daughters will go on to become ballcutting lawyers who sue for laws that emasculate the sons of the betas even more.
3. Dumbasses. Lots and lots of dumbasses. See above.

Expect a future of sex that feels good, societal disintegration, and cognitive stratification as the very smartest shield their 1.2 kids in gated communities and prep schools from the mass of semi-retarded kids born to the losers falling further behind.

*trademarked, bitches.

**Oxford English Dictionary approved spelling. Pip pip.

***condom game is highly underrated.

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Compassion Creates More Cads

I have a theory. Here it is:

The welfare state has created more pump and dumpers.

I only have casual observation, not hard data, to back up my theory. I base it on the exponential increase in the past ten years of businesses teaching pickup skills to men. These are real businesses with satisfied clientele who pay in the thousands for weekend seminars and “boot camps” to learn how to turn women on.

Bleeding heart compassion has cursed blessed the country with layers of safety nets that subvert the natural cleansing of losers from contributing to the next generation. The result of all this government largesse is the substitution of handouts for husbands. When provider males who are predisposed to marry and support a family are worth less on the market than they used to be they are slowly replaced by playboys taking advantage of the sexual climate. Women who have their security needs met by Big Government (in combination with their own economic empowerment) begin to favor their desire for sexy, noncommital alpha males at the expense of their attraction for men who will foot the bills.

Prediction: As women’s financial status rises to levels at or above the available men in their social sphere, they will have great difficulty finding an acceptable long-term partner. The men, for their part, will turn away from emphasizing their ability to provide as they discover their mediocre-paying corporate jobs are no longer effective displays of mating value. They will instead emphasize the skills of “personality dominance”.

The betas either learn to adapt or learn to love celibacy. The “seduction community” has grown organically out of the cultural soil to help these guys adapt. Now, instead of spending their money on diapers, these guys are spending it on in-field instruction in nightclubs.

Our genes only care about one thing: What is the winning reproductive strategy? Today, that winning strategy is seduction, sex, and splitting, leaving the kid to be raised by an unwitting chump.

The result of this sea change in relations between the sexes will be a future of more cads and fewer monogamously inclined men. The pendulum will eventually swing back as a world full of players and fatherless children cannot sustain itself, but there will be much wailing and gnashing of genitals before that day arrives.

Ultimately, compassionate policies to help protect us from ourselves will backfire. Losers need to suffer and be excluded from experiencing the happiness of financial security, love and sex for the health of society as a whole.

Culling the weak — it’s cruel, it’s cold-hearted, it’s uncompassionate… it’s necessary.

The executive summary: 

Women are the more compassionate sex.
Their compassion compels them to vote for welfare statism.
Welfare statism drives down the asking price of provider betas.
Hit and run players fill the void.
Therefore, women are responsible for the very types of men who hurt them most.

And that kid went HA HAWWW!

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Tragedy… Not!

Heath Ledger either offed himself or OD’ed and the merchants of maudlin are in full emote braying about what a “tragedy” and a “shock” it is.

Tragedy. This is one of those words that has been so bastardized by misuse and overuse that it has ceased to mean anything. What happened to Ledger was not a tragedy. It was either stupidity (drug overdose) or weakness (suicide). A tragedy would have been if he was happily strolling across the street and got flattened by a bus.

It’s not even much of a shock as his friends knew about his depression and drinking problem for a while.

I don’t feel anything when a celebrity dies. It doesn’t affect my state of mind one iota. I shed no tear. I couldn’t care less if some actor living the life of a king and boffing the hottest chicks dies. In fact, I’d like it if all these guys were shot into space. The more heterosexual men shot into space, the better; leaves more women for me.

Women get worked up over the death of some famous dude who they’ll never meet because they are designed by nature to want lots of quality guys around to give them the option of picking and choosing at their leisure. Fewer alphas means a higher chance of settling for a beta.

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Moving Day Vignette

I was woken up this morning by the sounds of movers hauling out my neighbor’s belongings. Lots of banging, scraping, and foot shuffling. I could tell the movers were black guys by their voices. Thanks to the miracle of walls that actually amplify outside sounds I was able to hear some of their conversation.

“White people’s furniture all look the same.”

A dog barked.

“And white people’s pets, too!”

I laughed because it’s true. Well, true of yuppie whites living in NW DC. I bet what they moved looked like this:

conspicuously displayed conde nast magazine sold separately.

answers to ‘Tinky Winky’.

Stereotypes… dey not pulled out kitteh’s ass.

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Faces Not Facebook

Facebook, and related internet social networking sites, don’t make you more friends:

Social networking sites like Facebook and MySpace do not help you make more genuine close friends, according to a survey by researchers who studied how the websites are changing the nature of friendship networks.
Although social networking on the internet helps people to collect hundreds or even thousands of acquaintances, the researchers believe that face to face contact is nearly always necessary to form truly close friendships.

“Although the numbers of friends people have on these sites can be massive, the actual number of close friends is approximately the same in the face to face real world,” said Will Reader at Sheffield Hallam University.

I’m not surprised by this. My close circle of friends are still the ones I met the natural genetically-optimized way: in meatspace. I occasionally bump into a fellow Myspacer who recognizes me through their computer monitor, but we hardly ever move the interaction past the obligatory hellos.

Facebook and Myspace are one part attention whore canvas, one part Creative Class Rolodex, and one part alter ego resume. They basically serve as outlets for people, especially younger women, to “express themselves” and climb the status ladder by demonstrating their social value through their meme-generating links, musical tastes, witticisms, “spontaneous” nightclub photos, and vapid hourly updates on the daily tedium of their lives. When they’re not stamping the internet world with their unoriginal brand of detached irony, they use these sites to herd their threadbare acquaintances into one easily managed electronic address book, keeping tabs on everyone, like ranchers herding steer. It’s a social butterfly’s dream come true! Wide… but shallow.

Ultimately, friendships live and die by trust. No one becomes your good friend until they, and you, have earned each other’s trust. And that is where sites like Facebook fail:

But to develop a real friendship we need to see that the other person is trustworthy. “We invest time and effort in them in the hope that sometime they will help us out. It is a kind of reciprocal relationship,” said Dr Reader, “What we need is to be absolutely sure that a person is really going to invest in us, is really going to be there for us when we need them…It’s very easy to be deceptive on the internet.”

That’s the key right there. With a few vaguely intriguing photos (action shots work best for guys, semi-porn snapshots for girls), a list of concert tour dates, and insidery jokes from people leaving comments on your profile, a person can present him or herself in a way that is at odds with reality. We are making friends with digital people whose first impressions have been micromanaged and painstakingly handcrafted for hours (sometimes weeks!) beforehand. You’ll never truly know someone’s character unless you engage them in realtime where a raised eyebrow or a sly smile can carry more vital information than pages of spoogy internet masturbation.

It reminds me of a girl I once dated whose Myspace page was a months-long project of webdesigner-looking social status achievement. I met her at a bar before I knew about her Myspace page. Later, when she showed me her profile, I couldn’t believe the disconnect between her sweet real self and the raging sassypants she presented online.

Because I have advanced ADD, I get bored on these sites after two minutes. I need to see the person I’m talking to at least once in a while or I won’t put in any effort to maintain the friendship. Give me real life over this pointless shit any day.

Btw, I’m on Facebook. You can find me under killa, killing your beta zombie.

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Liveblogging American Idol

9:12PM – is it me or does no one speak grammatical english anymore? sometimes i have to remind myself how overflowing with the bounty of stupidity most of humanity is. 

9:14PM – girl in pink dress looks 10 years older than her age. plunging neckline ineffective on such a small bosom. next!

9:16PM – interesting how the judges listen to the auditioners with their left ears turned towards them. i’ve read that the left ear picks up musical tones better than the right ear, which is better at spoken words.

9:18PM – old bald queen singing. at least, he better hope he’s a queen cause no woman will have him.

9:20PM – whoa. super smoking hot little minx. you’re going to my bedroom! decent voice. -5 points for the dopey extra long sleeves covering her hands. like beauty, a good singing voice is mostly a genetic blessing. this girl is a walking billboard for low mutational load.

9:28PM – retarded nerdboy dresses as sci-fi nerdgirl. over to you, triumph!

9:30PM – creepy love song for paula dude. it’s a put-on. i like it. “peter faulk her”. haha! what a goob.

9:33PM – another cute girl. looks like a slender scarlett johansson. nice rack. put her through.

9:39PM – commercial for ‘moment of truth’ tv show. i’d be unstoppable on that show. “do you think fat people are repuls…” “yes.”

9:40PM – when the background music changes to melodic acoustic guitar that means a good singer is coming up.

9:41PM – 9:40PM observation confirmed.

9:49PM – bitter star wars girl is up. proof that being 24 and thin is not a guaranteed golden ticket to hotness. of course at age 44 she’s gonna be a chieftain warpig. she’s from CT. figures. in general girls from new england are uglier than girls from other parts of the country.

9:54PM – hot blonde. you’re going to hollywood!

9:54:30PM – oh wait, two kids? hollywood rescinded.

9:56PM – “seacrest short!”

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