Arnold, Steroids And Mud Sharks

It’s an open secret that Arnold used steroids throughout his bodybuilding career, and probably uses them today (either as part of an anti-aging program, or to buff up for a film, like he did for T3.) If he was on a cycle when he banged that ugly housemaid of his, that would explain a lot.

I’ve talked with the really hyooge roided up guys in the gym about going on cycle, and they’ve told me that on steroids they’re indiscriminately horny all day long. “I’d stick my dick in a dog’s anus if pussy wasn’t around,” is how one dude colorfully put it.

Arnold is a high status alpha male. Why he would bang, and impregnate!, an ugly broad seemingly makes no sense. But a little analysis helps the picture become clearer. As I explained in a previous post addressing this specific subject, most alpha males are cheating with hot, younger mistresses. We remember the ones, like Hugh Grant, who hook up with fuglies because they are the exceptions to the common rule. But there are other reasons why a guy like Arnold might cheat with a woman so far below him in sexual market value it may as well be an interspecies mating.

One, convenience. A busy man might just grab the nearest pussy available. Alpha males can be lazy about chasing women for sex, particularly if they have a de facto harem already at their disposal to clean the princely penis. Two, and in my opinion the more parsimonious explanation — Arnold was roided up to the gills when his boner pointed in the direction of Mamacita Starch Bomb.

Testosterone is the infidelity and ambition hormone, but it comes with a dark side: too much can cloud a man’s perception and good judgement. A guy on roids might be so climb-the-walls horny that a dumpy, unattractive maid bending over to scrub the floors could look irresistible in the moment. This would also explain the pregnancy; a very horny man needs to get off NOW, and condoms just don’t enter the equation in the heat of passionate release.

Arnold also has a thing for Latinas (and asses and carrots), so maybe his gross maid represented the closest facsimile to his true desire that he could find within his WASPy, stiff-hipped social milieu.

This could help to answer the question why all men don’t continually evolve to have higher and higher testosterone levels. Perhaps because of its ability to impair judgement, testosterone could be subject to runaway selection, where the advantage of being incredibly motivated to fight and fuck everything in sight is nullified by the disadvantage of losing fights and banging low quality women.

And let’s face it, it’s not for nothing that the most advanced civilizations are filled with men who have more discriminating tastes in women.

Read Full Post »

Cheap Chalupas On Loser Men

The ol’ Open-borders-for-thee-but-gated-academia-for-me blogger-cum-economist has taken a stab at trying to explain why one-fifth of all prime working age men are unemployed. Other than the obvious market factors (helllooooo cheap, displacing, low human capital labor and negative externalities!), I’ve already outlined in this post why this recession is structurally different than past recessions, and the reasons for the decline in male labor market participation. Quote:

Prediction: As women’s financial status rises to levels at or above the available men in their social sphere, they will have great difficulty finding an acceptable long-term partner. The men, for their part, will turn away from emphasizing their ability to provide as they discover their mediocre-paying corporate jobs are no longer effective displays of mating value. They will instead emphasize the skills of “personality dominance”.

That post is now more than three years old. And its prediction has come true. All hail the Chateau, for here truth resideth, and the liars and dissemblers hang by their entrails from crosses made of fiat money.

Polite, liberal society seriously underestimates the impact the Pill, abortion and women’s financial independence has had on the labor market and employment levels. Incentives do matter, and in a world where women can pretty much support themselves and have sex free of the consequences of pregnancy, men as provider betas have become more expendable. A man cannot get the traction with women he once could get by simply going to an office from 9 to 5.

What I call the Four Sirens of the Sexual Apocalypse has changed the rules of the dating market since its advent in the early 1960s. Men have either had to adapt to continue getting young hot tight pussy, or they have had to drop out, and society has enabled their dropping out with the convenient narcotics of video games and wide screen TVs, (and soon to be sexbots). Invasion of tens of millions of peasant laborers has contributed to the labor market malaise by sapping the native men of their will to compete for stagnant or dropping wages.

Yet, a bright spot exists. For those who won’t settle for less than success (and success for men is predominantly a function of how well they do with women, either directly or indirectly through the acquisition of power), game — i.e. studied charisma — has rushed in to fill the void.

Any economist whose head is stuck in a cycle of mumbling about aggregate demand is simply not seeing the forest for the trees. Widen your scope to include the id monster that supercharges human nature and behavior and you will begin to fathom consilience. Until then…

enjoy your exotic restaurant guides.

Read Full Post »

Proximity + Diversity = War

Just another day in Diversityland.

I think I’ll make this a regular series, simply because I love shoving it in the faces of the equalist tards and cheap chalupas revolutionaries who have intellectualized their status whoring and moral preening by carefully constructing a mountain of lies over the past fifty years.

Moral of the story: Ignore human nature at your peril. No amount of snark in the world will shield you from that reality.

Read Full Post »

The Most Alpha Song Ever

There were a lot of quality suggestions for alpha songs from readers in the comments to this post. Too many choices from too many different genres to properly choose a number one alpha song of all time. But any list of top ten alpha songs should include “Hey Mister” by Custom, and “Homecoming” by The Teenagers. Read the lyrics and you’ll understand why these two songs are Chateau-approved for your listening pleasure.

“Hey Mister”

Hey Mister I really like your daughter,
I’d like to eat her like ice cream
maybe dip her in chocolate

Hey Mister on your way over
in your Volvo, suit, and tie
We’ll be crawling in your bed soon
messing around, maybe getting high

It’s not what ya did,
It’s not what ya didn’t
God gave her a perfect body
and now I’m all up in it.

It’s not she’s a tramp.
It’s not she’s not pure.
She just likes getting her fuck on,
and it’s a good one of that I’m sure

Hey Mister I really like your daughter.
When I’m horny like thirsty
She’s a bottle of water.

Hey Mister how’d it get so bad
You raised her so well
and now she’s calling me dad
in the back seat naked of
a new Volkswagen
the perfect little gift for
high school graduation.

It’s not what ya did,
It’s not what ya didn’t
God gave her a perfect body
and now I’m all up in it.

[chorus]

I eat all the food in your fridge
Call my friends around the world
Rack up your long distance do
Breakstands neutral drops
Wreck all your cars
Drink all the booze in your
cheezy ass wet bar
Order stuff on your credit cards
Leave boogers in the skippy jar
Smoke your cigars
Answer the phone tell your
boss you moved to mars
When you call in late from
work tell your wife
You’re at the titty bars

[chorus]

I can’t lie I have to tell the truth
My commandments says I’m a total spoof
Your daughter’s a freak
Your daughter’s a pro
When i’m done with her
She’ll do one of your bros

I hope I’ll never have a daughter
I hope I’ll never have a daughter
I hope I’ll never have a daughter
I hope I’ll never have a daughter

This song hits a couple of important Chateau themes:

1. Chicks are at their hottest between 15 and 25.

2. Every father’s worst fear is having his hot teen daughter hook up with a player.

What man can’t sympathize with the singer’s lament in the final stanza?

******

“Homecoming”

[male] “last week, I flew to san diego to see my auntie.
on day one, I met her hot step-daughter.
she’s a cheerleader, she’s a virgin, and she’s really tan.
as she stepped out of her massive car,
I could only notice she was more than fuckable.
I think she was coming back from the game or something,
’cause she was holding those silly pom-poms
on day two, I fucked her, and it was wild.
she’s such a slut.”

[chorus]
[male] I fucked my american cunt
[female] I loved my english romance
[male] I fucked my american cunt
[female] I loved my english romance
[male] it was dirty, a dream came true
just like I like it, she’s got nice tits
[female] it was perfect, a dream came true
just like a song by blink 182

[female] “ok, listen girls:
I met the hottest guy ever.
basically, as I was stepping out of my SUV,
I came face to face with my step-cousin or whatever, who cares?
anyway, he was wearing skinny jeans, had funky hair
and the cutest british accent ever.
straight away, I could tell he was rocker
from his sexy attitutde and the way he looked at me.
mmmmmm, he is totally awesome!
oh my god, I think i’m in love”

[chorus]
[male] I fucked my american cunt
[female] I loved my english romance
[male] I fucked my american cunt
[female] I loved my english romance
[male] it was dirty, a dream came true
just like I like it, she’s got nice tits
[female] it was perfect, a dream came true
just like a song by blink 182
[male] I fucked my american cunt
[female] I loved my english romance
[male] I fucked my american cunt
[female] I loved my english romance

[male] “it was so nice to meet you”
[female] “the pleasure was all mine, I do like you
come to cancun for spring break”
[male] “I’ll think about it, it could be great”
[female] “and don’t forget to send me a friend request!”
[male] “as if!”

Not only is this song funny (the alternating lines between the male and female singer satirizing the different ways men and women view hook ups is a highlight), but it even takes a few stabs at the consumption habits, entitlement complexes and general sluttiness of American princesses.

The readers who nominated Motorhead’s Lemmy and Kyuss/Queens of the Stone Age’s Josh Homme as alpha rock n rollers par excellence are correct. I would also add GG Allin to that illustrious list. Defecating on stage and self-mutilation were just the tip of the iceberg with that fucked up badass. Even his planned funeral was alpha:

There were two wakes for GG, one was a traditional Irish wake and the other was his rock and roll wake, according to GG’s mother Arleta. At his funeral, Allin’s bloated, discolored corpse was dressed in his black leather jacket and trademark jock strap. He had a bottle of Jim Beam beside him in his casket, per his wishes (openly stated in his self-penned acoustic country ballad, “When I Die”). As part of his brother’s request, the mortician was instructed not to wash the corpse (which smelled strongly of feces), or apply any makeup. The funeral became a wild party. Friends posed with the corpse, placing drugs and whiskey into its mouth. As the funeral ended, his brother put a pair of headphones on Allin. The headphones were plugged into a portable cassette player, in which was loaded a copy of The Suicide Sessions.

GG Allin — NOT a beta provider. Or a beta die-er.

Read Full Post »

The Most Beta Song Ever

“Calling You”, Blue October.

Here’s a sample of the lyrics:

Theres something that i cant quite explain
i’m so in love with you
you’ll never take that away

and if i said a hundred times before
expect a thousand more
you never take that away

well expect me to be
calling you to see
if you’re ok when i’m not around
asking if you love me
i love the way you make it sound
calling you to see
do i try too hard to make you smile
to make a smile

well i will keep calling you to see
if you’re sleepin are you dreamin and
if you’re dreamin are you dreamin of me
i cant believe
you actually picked…me

Truly puke-inducing. A non-rockstar taking the message of this song to heart would ensure himself years of involuntary celibacy. Shame, too, because it’s a catchy tune. And therein lies its nefarious power. The music lulls you into a false sense of comfortable masculinity while the lyrics fill your head with a message that would shrivel the testicles of a bull moose.

Runner-Up Beta Song:

“She’s So High”, Tal Bachman

Any nominees for most alpha song of all time? And no cheesy tunes like “Born in the USA” or anything by a 1980s hair band singing about banging chicks on car hoods or riding the road alone. Although I would accept “Hot for Teacher” as a legit contender. I got my pencil! Not sure if the early 90s grunge era qualifies. Nirvana and Pearl Jam sound superficially alpha but their messages are borderline limp-wrist. They were the emo prototypes, after all. Music in the 2000s took a decided turn for the beta, which should tell us something about the quality of “men” now populating America. Arcade Fire and MGMT make great music, but let’s face it, they’re kind of faggy. Muse might be the closest thing to an alpha band we have at the moment. (I consider rap and hip hop to be cartoon versions of alpha, which is not as bad as being beta, but not up to amused mastery levels. Rap is like the bellowing douchebag at a bar who assertively but sloppily hits on a girl, gets rejected, and then calls her a bitch.)

It’s looking more and more like the last of the great alpha songs ended sometime in the late 70s. This perfectly mirrors the general decline of America. Discuss amongst yourselves.

Read Full Post »

Emotional Pornography

Occasionally even a feminist manages a swiping glance at the truth. Naomi Wolf has a track record of immersing herself in a stinking pile of pretty lies, but her contention that widespread porn availability numbs men to the pleasures of “real women”* might have some merit.

(*Translating from the femcuntspeak, “real women” = aging, slovenly lardasses.)

A whole generation (or two) of men has grown up watching hot chicks have sex on the internet. Most of the girls in porn are better looking than the average fat American woman who couldn’t throw her cankles behind her ears if she tried. It’s not a stretch to think that such mass wanking to the top 10% in tight female bodies desensitizes men to sex with the rapidly dumpifying plain janes they meet in real life. Result: more pump and dumps as men feel less incentive to invest in these entitled shambling mounds.

So a reasonable argument could be made that hardcore porn has raised men’s expectations beyond practicality. Or that it has sated their desire to the point that men lack the motivation to aggressively pursue real life shit-testing women.

Ah, but as with so many theories propounded by feminists and family values conservatives, they utterly neglect to mention the role of female hypergamy and the effect that hypergamy has on women’s choices in the dating market. Remember the fundamental law of the sexual market: As the gatekeepers to sex, women get the men they deserve. If women are rewarding assholes and players with sex, then assholes and players are what men will emulate.

But thankfully the world is blessed with the wit and wisdom — and the sadism to tell it like it is — of the Chateau. So you come here for the full truth, because you think you can handle it. And the truth is that modern women have been gluttonously absorbing their own version of expectation-raising and niceguy-desensitizing porn…

Emotional pornography.

A commenter writes:

Women do have problems with false expectations of romance. Emotional pornography has really screwed with their heads.

Think Lifetime channel movies.

Bingo. Biologically, women don’t get off on visual porn the way men do. But that doesn’t mean they don’t have their own outlets for electrifying the beaver, or that they don’t avail themselves of these female-centric outlets with the same gusto that men do of theirs.

Let’s get right to it. Women masturbate to words. To stories. Stories as told in movies, books and TV. These stories share common themes, often featuring the hard-to-get, aloof alpha male preselected by tons of attractive women, and the maladroit beta male to play the foil. The alpha male in women’s fantasies is outsized. His kind exists in extraordinarily tiny numbers in the real world. Which makes his grudgingly surrendered love that much the sweeter.

Do not for a minute think men’s visual porn and women’s emotional porn aren’t comparable. They are exactly the same in purpose, and in function. Men jack off to YouPorn and women jack off to daydreams of Edward Cullen or Dr. McDreamy from Grey’s Anatomy. One inconsequential difference is that men’s jacking off is typically more physical in nature, with an unmistakeable denouement in ejaculation. Women, having a baseline hormonal horniness somewhat below that of men and being not quite as groin focused in their sexuality, express their jacking off in wistful, emotional mental journeys that occasionally culminate in vulval self-administration under the bedsheets late at night.

The end result of all this jacking off to ideal virtual lovers is the same for women and men: raised expectations and disappointment with the real life alternatives.

As most men are game-less herbs and provider betas, the explosion of emotional porn for women has indirectly caused the betas’ dating market value to drop, in the same way that YouPorn has caused the dating market value of average-looking, out of shape women to drop. The drop isn’t precipitous, because for most people bland but real sex still beats exciting but virtual sex. But the drop is enough to make a difference in the zeitgeist of the mating market, as well as within the quasi-confines of marriage.

Naomi Wolf and Kay Hymowitz think they get a free pass to shame men for watching porn to the detriment of relationships with real women. *cracks knuckles* Here’s a roll call of the leading outlets of emotional porn numbing our nation’s women to sex and relationships with real, normal, niceguys:

Grey’s Anatomy
Gossip Girl
The Bachelorette
Desperate Housewives
Sex and the City
Anything on Lifetime Channel or WeTV
Pretty much everything on the major networks in primetime
Any big studio rom-com
Twilight (books and movies)
Any and all pulp romance novels
Academy awards shows
Tabloids
The entirety of the insipid celebrity culture

American women, it’s time for you to woman up. Put down the celebrity rags and stop diddling the bean to the latest news about Jake Gyllenhaal’s love life. The future of your country rests on bringing your unrealistic ballooning expectations back down to earth, in line with what your flabby bodies, unfeminine personalities, galling sluttiness and crow’s feet actually offers men.

Read Full Post »

Chivalry And Feminism Are Incompatible

A Generation Hexed chick bemoans the loss of chivalry, and claims modern day chivalry and feminism can coexist:

Living in Manhattan during college and after college would make even the most chivalry-loving women have to get her hands dirty. Unless you’re wealthy and can afford to take cabs everywhere (or do FreshDirect all the time), you carry your groceries home and up your stairs. And you probably live in a sixth-floor walkup! You jump over your own puddles and hail your own cabs. When some weirdo on the subway whips out his penis in front of you, you have to be the one to raise a holy hell. Hulk Hogan is not going to lug your new couch up the stairs, nor is Superman going to show up and defend your honor. Sometimes I would make a joke to my friends that “New York City is where chivalry goes to die.” […]

I cherished the day-to-day feeling that [my boyfriend] cared about me and that he was putting an effort into treating me nicely, beyond just having the basic manners of not chewing with his mouth open or interrupting someone when they were speaking. Just like I have a hard time reconciling my feminist beliefs with my desire to be with a more dominant, alpha male, I also have a hard time reconciling my feminist beliefs with my enjoyment of chivalry. I am now figuring out that the two are not mutually exclusive.

Chivalry and feminism are in fact mutually exclusive. Chivalry involves a tacit quid pro quo; men are chivalrous to women they deem are worthy of the chivalrous sacrifice. Throughout Western history, (Western only, as chivalry was a knighthood concept invented by Europeans during the Middle Ages), men have considered worthy women to be those who are relatively chaste, pure of reputation, monogamously loyal and delicate of manners. Does that describe the typical modern American feminist? Of course not. To ask the question is to laugh at the absurdity of asking it.

When a man holds open a door for a woman, or carries her heavy bags, he is doing so under the guise of an implicit pact between himself and all of womenkind. He assumes her relative weakness, modesty and submissiveness, and she assumes his strength and leadership. There is an unspoken agreement that both sides will hold up their end of the bargain. Implicit, too, in chivalry is a subconscious awareness that women are reproductively more valuable than men. Without a man’s confidence in these assumptions, the rationale for chivalry, and the desire to grant it, dissipate like the memories of so many one night stands.

Feminism is, at its core, an ideology of will to power scaffolded by lies. It has little to do with equality. It’s goal is the power aggrandizement of women at the expense of men (as it has to be since power is zero sum), and by whatever means necessary. That’s it. As long as feminism remains a force in modern society, and sabotages the minds of significant numbers of yummies (Young urban minxes), chivalry is DOA. The two ideologies not only have nothing in common, they are conspicuously antagonistic.

The free flow of information has also helped to kill off chivalry. Thanks to subversive retreats like this blog, women’s true nature is revealed in all its grit and gristle. No man in his right mind would open doors for women he now knows will divorce a beta and strip him of his dignity for a fling with an asshole who gives her Skittles as a birthday gift. Nor would he carry bags for women he now suspects, justifiably, are regular riders of the quasi-anonymous cock carousel. He’ll think twice about holding a cab for a random girl who might be one of those chicks who divulges personal details about her love life on a website called The Frisky. The simple, galling fact that women are sexually enticed by negs is enough to convince normally kind and generous men that pulling out chairs for them is a fool’s errand.

That’s another thing men have learned — when chivalry isn’t buying you a rude lack of acknowledgement from some ravaged city slut, it’s actively making you seem more beta. Men are asking “What’s in it for me?”, and increasingly the answer is “Not much”. And if you think a dearth of chivalrous behavior will open the door for shit-lapping white knighters to swoop chicks like Sir Lancelot, you’ve got the wrong idea. Modern women don’t instinctually reward chivalrous men with their sex, let alone a phony expression of asexual gratitude. The last chivalrous man on earth is still going home alone to pull his pud. But he’ll pull it ever so politely.

Women, if you lament the loss of chivalry, look in the mirror. You have only yourselves to blame.

PS: The fembot of the article linked to above had a suspiciously drama-filled breakup with her supposedly chivalrous boyfriend. Scientists are baffled.

Read Full Post »