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A hilarious field report from Ironsides, about his dad meeting his mom,

According to my mother, my dad’s entire conversation during most of their first date consisted of one word: “Hello.”

They did go out to eat, while she chattered away and he remained absolutely silent, after which he drove her back to her parents’ house. He didn’t open the car door for her.

This apparently intrigued her enough so that she thought ‘I’m not getting out of this car until he asks me out again.’ They sat there silently for several minutes until my dad said, “Let’s go out next week.” That completed his entire verbal effort for the evening.

Considering that they’re still married a number of decades later, the strong, silent approach apparently worked.

Postscript: they actually DIDN’T go out the next week. My dad’s uncle, who he hadn’t seen since before he joined the Army, came to the state and stayed for two weeks. Since he was about the only close-ish relative my dad liked, they spent the time chewing the fat, going out shooting, etc., and my dad didn’t call my mother back at all until his uncle left. She says by the time he did call up, she was in an absolute frenzy to hear from him.

I don’t even think this was particularly deliberate on his part, just the way his personality was at that point; I’ll have to ask him.

One part dread, one part jerkboy, one part challenge, one part scarcity (aka abundance mentality). And all of it subcommunicated with an economy of words. Ironsides’ dad followed the CH Poon Commandments before they were written down for the masses.

One thing you’ll notice if you date a lot of women is that while women are chattier than men on average, some women are chattier than other women. For the loquacious ladies, letting them blab while you laconically punctuate their verbosity with occasional pithy insights or sexy innuendo is just the balance that those women need. (Don’t try to out-gab a gabby woman, because she’ll never let you and she’ll get annoyed, draining the sexual tension from the date.) For less garrulous gals, you’ll want to speak more, to rev up the conversation before it stales out.

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It’s a good skill to know ASAP during a date if a girl’s interest in you is flagging, so that you can turn it around before her vaj has completely folded in on itself and disappeared into a Labiarity. The interim between inquisitive petaling vaj and inimical imploding vaj is shorter than inexperienced men realize. If you sense a perturbance in the whores, you have to move fast before their thermal intrusion ports seal up.

Most men (by definition betas) don’t lose the girl at the first meet. The stone cold approach rejection is more exception than rule in the annals of unclosed deals. Given that men don’t approach nearly as many women as they are capable of approaching, it falls on the first or second date with the few women he does manage to sufficiently pique to really test a man’s seductive prowess and ability to identify when a girl is fawning or fading.

The fact is that most men lose the woman sometime between getting her number and the second date, before sex has bound her fate to his and colored her judgment in his favor. The majority of scuttled attempts at sex occur when the man loses his veiny hold on a woman’s imagination while on a date, when he has to be on top of his game for a few hours. Many such cases! He’s flying high after swapping grimy late night texts for a meet up, goes on the date two days later, starts to get nervous as the hour wears on and the convo stalls and she still hasn’t signaled him to kiss her, and then the whole enterprise unceremoniously ends with a platonic “I should get going” and he’s alone at home wondering how and when he blew it.

The first step to solving this problem is knowing when you’re losing the girl. That furrow won’t stay unfurled for long. Once you can tell when a girl has JUST started emotionally sheathing, you can make powerful adjustments on the fly and prevent the dreaded Desiccating Date. It’s the Game equivalent of inserting a screw jack in her limbic node and keeping her dendrites moistly parted.

So here is my shiniest slickest pellet of wisdom. The first sign that your date is drifting into anhedonia is when she’s looking sideways. If her head has swiveled and her dead gaze has alighted on the surroundings (or worse, on another man), your star is falling fast. If she’s propped her chin in her hand while looking sideways and is heavily sighing, cut your losses, there’s nothing left you can do for the nookie.

You can see this phenomenon play out with other couples, if you happen to be in the vicinity as an impartial observer of Human Cringe. (I can identify first dates with a 99% accuracy rate.) The girl will be looking sideways while the beta will be straining hard, in body and verbosity, to recapture her devoted attention. Usually this means he’s leaning out way over the table they share and jabbering painfully desperate chit chat about nothing interesting, sensing in his bones her rapid retreat, and resorting to ever more unattractive supplicating, try-hard beta male ploys to reverse the trend. Worst is when her eyes momentarily dart back to look at him as he’s on the verge of an anguished appeal for her input, only to quickly look away again and locate a speck on the window as a convenient distraction from the horror.

The correct response to the sideways girlgaze is the opposite of what most men do: instead of trying harder to reach her, you put less effort into reconnecting. Her sideways gaze is your cue to flirt with other women, such as the waitress, or a passing rando. Miraculously, her wandering oculars will spring back to you, peripherally offended and yet enticed by the gauzy apprehension of your aloof and indifferent ZFGness. It’ll amaze and astound how quickly a girl’s interest reignites when presented with the possibility that the man she had begun writing off has legitimate competing objects for his affection.

If that fails, the next best solution to the sideways gaze is ending the date before she’s had a chance to end it on her timeline. Nothing screws with a girl’s overstuffed ego more than robbing her of her female prerogative to establish both the beginning and the end of a date.

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Millennials are having less sex than previous generations, according to research by the CDC and other outfits. This is likely bifurcated survey data (i.e., the number of sexually inactive soyboys and fatty bluehair Millennials has increased over previous generations but a sizable minority of bubbly babes and trumpening chads are going hog wild). Call it the 80-20 Piece-of-ass Principle of Female Hypergamy. Nevertheless, an explanation is out there, and it’s missed by lots of people because it seems so counterintuitive. Doktor Jeep comments,

So with all the dating apps and simpery at its peak, women get their validation with a swipe – post some cleavage on social(ist) media and get scores of likes by the thirsty hordes – this explains why (mainly white) teenagers are having less sex than previous generations.

The great paradox of social media and dating apps which were intended to facilitate hooking up and relationship formation is that the technology leads to LESS sex because, as the good Doktor noted, women get their egos stroked so thoroughly by thirsty swiping betas, they don’t need their kittens stroked.

How utterly ironic that the very tech that was supposed to usher Sexual Liberation 2 has instead flattened the romantic landscape into a dreary chafed handscape. The Whoring 60s, 70s, and 80s have given way to the DVZ: Devirilized Zone. Chicks get swamped with empty anhedonic come-ons and the mass of thirsty betas drains their energies into porn and their dignity into Tinder aka chick crack.

A stroked female ego is a dormant female libido.

A sapped male libido is a debased male ego.

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Recovering Beta has what I consider an important Game-related question about girlfriend management.

Need game advice guys!

If a girl you been seeing starts to lose respect for you.

Do you call her out and say: “- I feel that I don’t get the respect and admiration from you and its a big turn off for me”

jfc no. Pity ploys never work unless you’re a rape-y syrian refugee. That’ll only earn her growing contempt.

…or something like “- Cut that shit off right now. I need respect from you or its over”?

The first half of this response is good. But you should’ve stopped there. When you spell out the reason for your demand, it loses potency. Telling a girl you “need respect” is borderline mewling. If you have to ask for it, you don’t deserve it, and you’re not getting it.

Because I believe respect is something a guy earns, not demand and calling a girl out on this may even make her feel even less respectful for you.
Because I just admitted to her that she is losing respect for me, something she might even noticed herself.

What to do?

Exactly, you verbalized the reality of her disrespect, validating it in her mind. Instead of causing her to reconsider treating you shittily, she’ll double down in the reconfirmed belief that you’re not worth her feminine respect.

What you should do is call her out when she disrespects you, but without airing demands for more “respect” that you feel you “aren’t getting”, which will almost always sound like the butthurt pleas of a lower value man. Just tell her to cut the bullshit, and if she keeps it up, kick her out (or kick yourself out).

If she’s disrespecting you as a shit test of your character because you’ve acted too beta of late for her taste, then slapping her with the verbal pimp hand and walking out if she doesn’t comply will encourage her to reassess your alpha cred, and she’ll likely come back to you full of apology and begging for a reconciliation bang.

If, otoh, she’s disrespecting you because she has lost that loving feeling and is just fishing for a way out, then walking yourself out of her life will give her the denouement she wants while preserving your masculine dignity. Either way, you win.

This is the short-term solution. Long-term, you’ll want to apply some patented CH Dread Game to permanently reorient her behavior towards a more respectful tone. There are only so many times you can tell a girl to cut the shit before her excessive need to be dominated and told to shut up soils your spirit. You want to avoid girls who incessantly crave their disciplining; this is the kind of shrew who will cheat the moment you slip up and forget to administer her daily ration of taming.

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Besides the sagging tits and wrinkling skin, there’s a good reason men of taste and sophistication who are looking to settle down spurn older women for the pleasure of younger women. DoBA writes,

In short, if you’re thinking about getting married, really think about what you’re doing. As someone who is divorced, I would say that you have to get in on the GROUND LEVEL with women. Once they’re about 33-34, you don’t know where the hell they’ve been and their anger toward men or neurosis about them will likely be taken out on YOU. From what I see, the best marriages are when the couples meet in high school or college.

That last paragraph is gold plated good advice. Single women get bitter and spiteful with age in a way that men don’t, because every added cock scours a woman’s soul while every added pussy gilds a man’s soul. Bad relationship experiences accumulating over the years can potentially embitter both men and women, but men in my observation, when they bounce back, are more seamlessly able to reconstitute a loving relationship with a new woman minus the emotional baggage of past women who left them with foul memories. In contrast, women who have run through failed relationships tend to dump increasingly heavy loads of baggage on their new men.

The Ground Floor Girl is another term for the “marriage material girl”, or the “wife and mother of my future children girl”. (In the meme scene, she is called the tradwife.) She is many different women, but the defining characteristic all GFGs share is youth and romantic innocence. You can get lucky meeting an older woman who has managed to retain her whimsy and untainted love of men, but that’s not the way to bet.

tl;dr: younger women >>> older women.

***

If you need the recap, the present configuration of the Western sexual market is despoiling and shrinking the pool of available Ground Floor Girls. Marriage rate is down, age of first marriage is up, and though I couldn’t find the data I’d be surprised if marriage counseling hours and clients as a share of total marriages isn’t up as well.

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A comment by Greg Eliot (a longtime valued contributor to this fappy forum) spurred me to write a bit about tradcons and their discomfort with female sexuality. He wrote,

CH: And, yes, seducing and fucking a cute girl on the same night you meet her [is one of a man’s greatest pleasures in life].

Especially when she’s “never done this with anyone else”.

:DUCKFACE

Get real, gentlemen… any girl who bangs on the first date is more a petrie dish than LTR material.

And if you’re out looking for a quick bang… and not a woman who you’d trust as a mother to your children and a true helpmeet, then you’re just a muh-dik no-account who deserves whatever physical and/or emotional ailments you get from those types of women.

And this is why we lose.

This world ain’t no Ian Flemming novel, and you ain’t no James Bond.

I’m not saying Greg is a tradcon, but his comment is emblematic of so many tradcon howls of spite for men who have a way with women and for the women who let those men have their way. So his idburst gives me a springboard to write a rebuttal I’ve been meaning to for a while addressing the typical smears that tradcons keep in their rhetoric rucksack.

I’m not talking about marrying one night stands. Sure, a man should think twice about wifing up a girl he plowed the same night she twatted him a come hither eyeplay twitter. But there’s room in a man’s life for one night stands as well as for marriage, should he decide nuptial chains slip easily on his scrote. The one does not preclude the other. In fact, I’d argue a man is best positioned to choose a bride-to-be if he has some experience dealing with women’s emotional landscape both before and after sex. The best defense is a good offense.

To my points.

  1. Not every girl who has premarital sex is a slut. If that’s the standard for sluttery, you may as well give up finding a wife in the world we inhabit right now.
  2. Experienced men have a honed sense of which girls are slutty and which are chaste. It’s not that hard to know if a one night stand is a cock carousel veteran or an innocent naif caught up for the first or second time in her life in the heat of the moment (generated by your superb seductive prowess, of course). So just saying you’ve had a one night stand is not incontrovertible evidence that you banged a slut.
  3. The petrie dish metaphor is indicative of a favorite myth of tradcons that cutie patootie sluts sleep with any man who will have them. No, that would be fatties and Wall-imminent cougars. Prime nubility sluts are just as discriminating as damsels; that is, sluts prefer the company of the same alpha males who inspire a quaking of the mons in damsels. Beta males are still left out in the cold. Which means you are gonna need skillz to bang sluts, and perhaps even sharper skillz than you would need to bang damsels considering that sluts are masters of shit testing. The difference between sluts and damsels is one of impulsivity and to a lesser extent of quantity. Sluts jump into bed quicker and make more rounds sharing the tiny pool of acceptable alpha males.
  4. If you are dominant and sexy and charming as fuck, you can make any girl LTR material. It may be a more efficient use of your time and energy to screen for LTR material from the get-go if that’s your quest, but even the sluts will bend the knees to a man of incomparable HSMV.
  5. Whether mounting slut or damsel, one night stands will make a man feel like a king, as long as his conquest is a verifiable hottie. If he has a ONS with a grotesquerie, he will experience the Walk of Self-Abasement and avoid looking any women in the eyes for a month lest they sense the tunastank on him.
  6. Addendum to #5: Any man with a robust ledger of cuntquests to his name will know very early on in the evening if the girl he is seducing is a no muss no fuss slut or a hard-to-whet modest mouse. This means that really good players often deliberately seek out more challenging girls because they know that the afterglow of despoiling a low cock count coygirl shines so much brighter than it would emptied into the dark ravine of a slut’s war-torn womb. Be careful tradcons; that womanizer you accuse of banging bar skanks may be the one who cut his ONS chops on your tradwife before she lost her taste for fun and met you.

On a conciliatory note, Greg and his genre of female sexuality spiters aren’t totally off-base about the slut life. While not a guarantee of a girl’s sluttery, a predilection for one night stands is a leading indicator. And though it’s hard to find chaste women in 2017 (as measured against historical chasteness standards), it nevertheless remains true that even one additional partner over the bare minimum greatly increases a women’s risk of marital infidelity. Therefore, all things considered and all nuts busted, tradcons have their hearts in the right place when they advise men looking for wife and mother candidates to be wary of investing in a property that is trespassed without a preliminary scouting expedition.

Bottom line: If you fall in love with a ONS, and forever dangles on the edge of your dreamy thoughts, best give that gril a few extra months or years of up close premarital personal assessment. If she’s truly a natural born slut, you’ll see the signs long before she hears the wedding lines.

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A very powerful feeling for a man is walking out on a date because the girl dissatisfied him with her opinions or behavior.
Very few men do this.
More men should.
It’s exhilarating and builds masculine character, which has positive knock on effects for other girls he dates.

Male choosiness — and the associated behavior that naturally emerges from it — is a male SMV amplifier. Men who express a refined, discriminating taste in women, and an exquisite discernment of which women qualify for the pleasure of his company, are adored by women because choosy men have an aura of preselection. The choosy man becomes the chased, rather than the chaser.

It’s a lot easier to call the shots and direct the tempo when you’re the one being chased.

Adhering to exacting standards in women is a strong signal of attractiveness to women, given that women will assume, usually rightly, that a man willing to cavalierly reject potential mates is a man who has many other women in his queue. He is therefore “that guy* aka the alpha male of women’s dreams.

Then there is the rarity and unpredictability of male choosiness. When the average woman can go years, or even a lifetime, without suffering the indignity of a man walking out on her during a date for failing to meet his expectations in feminine demeanor, the rare man who pulls off the feat will seem a Golden God to her. She will invest so much dreamscape energy into wondering why he rejected her and what he has going on for himself that she’ll gasp with sudden and self-conscious arousal if she sees him crossing the street months later.

Finally, and perhaps most importantly, the choosy man enriches an inner reservoir of self-entitlement and self-confidence that is absolutely thrilling to women. Try it sometime. If you date enough women, you will inevitably come across an ur-cunt. You know the type; she stares at her phone during the date, hassles the wait staff, and talks about her exes, all the while demanding to know in so many words what you have to offer to her.

The mediocre masses of beta males would just grin and bear it, hoping their awful date has a last minute change of heart when her nasty woman turns into a sex goddess and ends the beta’s night on a thigh note. That never happens for the beta, but still…beta persisted.

The triumph of hope over experience is the beta male’s epitaph.

Instead of slip-streaming into the void of faceless nutless beta males that women treat with the same consideration they do houseplants, be one of those exciting jerkboys who prematurely deep sixes a date when the girl is cunting out. I promise, she’ll never forget you after that. I also promise that you’ll feel an incomparable rush of power. This is your mind-body axis telling you that what you did will ricochet to your reproductive fitness benefit in the future with other girls.

That glow of power is unmistakable to you, and it’s acutely perceptible to women, who have evolved a sensitive limbic radar for picking up cues of dominance and power and mastery in men.

PS Here’s Ryan Reynolds’ with the solid photoneg.

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