Archive for the ‘Fashion’ Category

Another assembly-line lib tart crudely trying to impersonate a frat bro crossed with a flaming gay man wrote an article titled “Fashion mistakes women despise about men“. The definitiveness of the sartorial errors aside, “despise” strikes one as an unusually strong word to describe how women feel when they see a man with an undershirt poking out of the top of his button-down. Women despise supplicating beta males; they joke amongst their friends about poor fashion taste.

But in the spirit of the day — Be All The Cunt You Can Be — here’s the CH version:

Fashion Mistakes Men Despise About Women

it’s not a curtsy, it’s a girthsy


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Peacocking — the art of dressing ostentatiously to attract positive female attention — has been a staple of game theory for a long time, ever since Mystery proved in-field that gaudy outfits were like flames to moths.

But peacocking has been controversial from the start. Some players thought it looked try-hard, and whatever initial impression was made on women would dissipate soon after. Some thought it would invite antagonism from other men. Still others argued that too much peacocking made a man seem unattainable and this was ultimately self-defeating to his goal of getting loved.

All these were plausible objections. CH has long been on record for finding a peacocking “sweet spot” — unique, but not too outrageous, and accented with peacocky accoutrements. The goal should be to stand out without looking like a dork completely out of his element.

Thankfully, the ❤️science❤️ is rolling in to help clear the confusion on this perennial topic. One important result emerges from the latest slew of studies: Context, and self-confidence, matter.

Anyone who has felt like the odd duck of the group can take heart from new research from Harvard Business School that says sticking out in distinct ways can lend you an air of presence or influence. […]

Less work has focused on what others think of those who try to communicate that they are different or worthy of attention. Efforts to be different are interesting because humans are wired to conform and be part of a group.

In a series of studies published in the Journal of Consumer Research in February, Silvia Bellezza, a doctoral student, and two Harvard professors sought to examine what observers thought of individuals who deviated from the norm in the workplace and in a retail setting. Some of the work was conducted in the lab on students. Other studies took place in the community and involved passersby or attendees of a seminar. Most of the studies included about 150 participants. What they found was that being a little different can socially benefit people—in some situations.

The following parts of the experiment were heavily context-dependent:

In their first study, they asked shop assistants and pedestrians in Milan to rate what they thought of people who walked into luxury stores wearing gym clothes. The subjects also rated those who wore outfits typically considered more appropriate, like a dress and fur coat.

Pedestrians were more likely to think that a well-dressed individual was more likely to have the money to buy something in the store. Shop assistants thought the opposite. Those more familiar with the luxury retail environment were more likely to assume that a gym-clothes-wearing client was confident enough to not need to dress up more, and therefore more apt to be a celebrity making a purchase than someone wrapped in fur.

The same pattern emerged in subsequent studies conducted in other settings: Students afforded more respect to a fictitious bearded professor who wore a T-shirt than to a clean-shaven one who wore a tie. Candidates entering a business-plan competition who chose to use their own PowerPoint presentation background were tabbed more likely to win than those who used the standard background.

Lesson: You don’t want to look like every other button-down, jeans-wearing dude. The safe play won’t get you much negative attention, but neither will it earn you much positive attention. You have to dress with deliberate “social risk amplification” in mind. In the courtship arenas of bars et al, you should strive to look like a man who has nothing to prove and isn’t concerned with people’s expectations.

But, there are limits to the effectiveness of nonconformism:

There are boundaries to the benefits of looking different, the Harvard work showed. If an individual was viewed as accidentally out of sync with everyone else, such as mistakenly wearing a red bow tie rather than black at a formal event, that erased positive feelings about him among those surveyed. Those opinions only improved when the survey group believed their contrarian acted differently on purpose.

“In order to think that the person’s a big shot, you have to understand that the person is willingly engaging in this nonconforming conduct,” Ms. Bellezza says.

One reason Mystery’s peacocking worked so well was because his attitude and the context within which he operated (nightclubs) conveyed intention. No woman would assume he “accidentally” wore a feather boa. He wore his flagrant peacocks’ attire with purpose. That is, he owned it. Contrast is king, but only when overconfidence is co-king.

There’s one more important caveat:

In addition, the environment must give cues that suggest a person’s talent or wealth. Standing in the front of the classroom or walking confidently into a luxury store already imply some level of belonging. But when an observer didn’t know whether the person they view is part of the group, eccentric dress was seen as a negative, according to the researchers.

Peacocking has to be framed. If you’re a newbie to game dressed in Victorian coat, spats and Celtic pendant, but carrying yourself with the body language of an anxious and uncertain man in a roomful of strangers, you will signal too much outsiderness. You will be shit tested and ostracized as a dork. Your already weak frame will be smashed to smithereens.

The solution is 1. peacocking only in the company of people who are already familiar with you (social proof) or 2. tempering your flash in the company of strangers so that you don’t unduly alert any of them to your outsider status.

Body language, as usual, is key here. The stronger — i.e., more alpha — your presence, the easier it will be to stand outside the crowd dressed in odd or inappropriate clothing. The irony of successful peacocking is that you have to act like you belong to afford the social risk of dressing like you don’t belong.

Maxim #42: Contrast in how you dress is received better by the group when you are socially proofed.

Corollary to Maxim #42: If you peacock, don’t wait long to befriend the group. Peacocking should be framed as “This is totally normal. The problem is everyone else’s weirdness about it.”

There are times when communicating high rank and competence becomes more important, such as during a shake-up in management at work. Signaling one’s place in a group reduces uncertainty, but sometimes the goal may be to fit into the group, and sometimes to signal that one is a high-status person in the group, says David Dubois, a marketing professor at Insead in France and Singapore.

Given the strong female predilection for higher status men, signaling high rank within a social milieu is more crucial to seduction success than is signaling group membership. You can dress conservatively and fit in, and you’ll make lots of asexual friends that way, or you can dress a little crazy and attract women intrigued by your handicapping boldness.

Dr. Poole’s best practical advice: “Don’t talk a lot if you have high status. People will assume you’re competent and when you talk, they will listen to you.”

Poon Commandments V and VI.

Mystery’s peacocking was not a superficial ploy. He thrived on negative attention from women because he knew that it was simpler to attract an antagonistic woman than it was to attract an indifferent woman. He knew he had the game cattle to go with his furry hat. This latest series of studies examining peacocking may overlook that calculation: Eccentric dress to provoke negative social appraisal as a means of accelerating courtship.

The Bottom Line

Don’t peacock until you’ve improved your body language and have learned how to talk to women confidently and handle the inevitable shit tests you’ll get when you start dressing in a unique manner. The clothes alone won’t make you a player. If you peacock, don’t stand around waiting for women to notice your courageous sartorial ensemble; approach promptly, and act like there’s nothing unusual about how you’re dressed. Remember that a major goal of peacocking is to provoke negative attention which, in women, is a direct pipeline to their sexual interest. If you struggle with negative attention, don’t peacock. You don’t need to go full-body peacock to raise your relative in-group status; subtle cues of risk-taking alphatude — jewelry, tattoos, shoes — can work just as well if the social context is skewed toward a conformist, bland dress code.

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Peacocking — the art of wearing outrageous ensembles and eye-catching baubles — is much-maligned, both within and without the seduction community. Nowadays, when people hear the word “peacocking”, they scoff as their minds race to images of pickup artist Mystery and his gigantic furry hats, eye liner, jumbled bracelets, and Victorian long coats.

sure he looks ridiculous, but are you banging girls this hot?

sure he looks ridiculous, but are you banging girls this hot?

CH is on record as agnostic on the effectiveness of peacocking, at least as the term is conventionally understood. My impression is that there is a high risk that an improperly balanced effort to peacock will more harm than help a man’s pickup cause.

But in point of fact, I do peacock, if not nearly to the extent that pre-fatherhood Mystery did. My clothes won’t make me an automatic focal point at social events, but neither does my style ape the drabness of herbwear. I prefer styling myself with hints and suggestions of a free spirit residing within.

Into the cacophony of ridicule hurled by naysayers at men dressing like fops comes scientific evidence, albeit indirect, that peacocking will make a man more attractive to women.

Recent research has found that people with so-called “dark” personality traits are more physically attractive than others. […]

Nicholas Holtzman and Michael Strube of Washington University in St. Louis were interested in looking at the relationship between physical attractiveness and people’s tendencies towards narcissism, psychopathy, and Machiavellianism. They wanted to find out whether these three traits, referred to as the “dark triad,” are associated with a greater ability to successfully enhance one’s physical appearance.

To test this idea, they invited 111 college students (64 percent women) into their laboratory. Each student was photographed soon after they arrived.  Then, after taking this initial photograph, each student asked to change out of their own clothes and put on a pair of gray sweatpants and a t-shirt.  Women were instructed to remove any makeup, and anyone with long hair was asked to pull it back into a ponytail. The students were then photographed in this more natural state. Holtzman and Strube showed both sets of photographs to a group of strangers who rated them in terms of physical attractiveness. By comparing the attractiveness ratings of the dressed-down and dressed-up students, the researchers were able to determine how much each student was able to make themselves more appealing through flashy clothes, makeup, accessories, etc.

Next Holtzman and Strube assessed the students’ personalities and their tendencies towards narcissism, psychopathy, and Machiavellianism. They asked the students to rate themselves and to provide email addresses for a few of their friends so that the researchers could ask them to provide ratings as well. This combination of self and peer ratings was used to calculate a final set personality scores for each student. Furthermore, the students’ ratings on narcissism, psychopathy, and Machiavellianism were combined into create a composite “dark triad” score.

The dark triad score was positively correlated with their “dressed-up” attractiveness – a finding that mirrors previous findings. However, the dark triad score was not related to ratings of physical attractiveness in the dressed-down photos. In other words, people with dark personality traits are not seen as more physically attractive than others when you take away their freedom to wear their own clothes and makeup. People with dark personalities seem to be better at making themselves physically appealing.

The findings reinforce previous research showing that narcissists are more popular than others, literally at first sight.

People who are best at making the most of what they’ve got — a talent which can be accurately described as peacocking when applied to physical presentation — are very attractive to the opposite sex. Take away their ability to peacock, and suddenly they are not so attractive anymore, at least as measured by the pre-interactive appearance they radiate during first impressions. And those people who possess the “dark triad” personality suite are the most skilled peacockers and manipulators of others’ perceptions of them.

Keep a few points in mind about this study.

1. The researchers examined the physical aspect of people with and without dark triad personalities. This study says nothing about the charismatic pull that dark triads have over others beyond their physical appearance; what might otherwise be called dark triad game. Other studies have found that dark triads exert great attractive influence on others based on the strength of their charm and narcissistic self-regard as well.

2. The facial good looks or lack thereof of the study participants were irrelevant to its conclusions. Those dark triad students were the same, as far as facial bone structure is concerned, in both their self-constructed and “natural” photos. So it was not their facial shape that made the difference in people’s opinions of their attractiveness between their peacocked and natural photos. It was how they chose to dress and present themselves that made the difference in perceptions. The “only looks matter” trolls will have to search elsewhere to find a tool to massage their prostates.

3. This study is good news for average-looking men: you can bump up your raw physical attractiveness to women by adopting a more avant-garde style of dress and comporting yourself with the mannerisms of a sociopathic megalomaniac. And my personal observations confirms this: I know a few gnarly-looking men who are catnip to women because they dress like creations from a fantasy novel aimed at women. Even my perception of their objective looks is fooled.

Remember that a man’s “looks” encompasses far more variables than does a woman’s looks. Women get significant boosts to their beauty rating from wearing makeup, an augmentation which directly alters their facial countenance, but men get boosts from an assortment of lifestyle changes, including dress, body language and facial expression. This is because women rate a man’s “appearance” using a more holistic algorithm than that used by men when they are rating a woman’s appearance.

Before any of you haters, trolls, or robotic spergs comment here, I suggest you read this post. If it is clear to me you have not read that linked post, you will be summarily cast into the hellfire of Mount Dork. You’d probably enjoy that, wouldn’t you?

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Half Sigma has a post up profiling buyers of Apple and Android (concluding that most Android buyers are more frugal than Apple buyers.)

Android buyers may be more frugal, but it’s not because they have less money to spend than Apple buyers. The reason Apple is the elite/SWPL/hipster smartphone and tablet and laptop of choice has to do with the preferences of women. As a commenter over there wrote:

“Maybe iphones appeal to women shoppers, but the sophisticated users I know prefer the Galaxy S III or the Nexus 4.”

Apple vs Android is less about SWPL vs prole than it is about women vs men.

Firstly, proles aren’t Android customers. Most proles don’t have service plans and are still using dumb phones. Android customers are well-paid STEM men, typically younger, and often married with small kids. They are the type of men who are out of the dating market, either through marriage or nerdery. They love tinkering with gadgets and discovering multi-use purposes for them. They are numbers people, and have a natural aversion to spending more for something than what it is worth according to dry calculations they make in their heads. In other words, the core Android base are left brain thinkers who better appreciate value and function and are autistic to the appeal of pretty packaging, ergonomics and intuitive GUIs.

Devoted Apple customers are single women and the men who hang around a lot of women, like salesmen, players, scenesters, and marketers. Apple customers also include older buyers who are intimidated by rumors of non-Apple products being harder to navigate. In other words, the core Apple base are right brain thinkers who better appreciate form and are scared of advanced techie functionality (or more precisely, techie functionality that is not sufficiently concealed under a soothing layer of bubbly icons).

Apple enjoys lavish profitability because women are the primary purchasers in any modern, slowly decaying Western society. Since form has higher status than function in such late-stage societies, and since women are the drivers of trivial status whoring competitions, Apple — which, justifiably, represents the ultimate in high status tech aesthetic — owns women’s sympathies. And from this, Apple owns a significant chunk of men and their dollars.

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If you follow the conventional wisdom closely, (or just leave your apartment once in a while), you’ll come under the impression that a good sense of style is more beneficial to women than it is to men. Women are the ones who lacquer themselves in lotions potions liners and rouges, spend exhorbitant amounts of green on fashionable attire, and coif their hair to perfection down to the last flyaway strand.

Men, in contrast, are the ones who throw on a pair of jeans and an ill-fitting button-down.

Now, the CW makes some sense, at least in the big picture. Women, being the sex whose primary attractiveness derives from their looks, would want to focus on maximizing the display of those looks. Men, whose primary attractiveness derives from status and attitude, don’t get as much SMV bang for the buck from ken dolling themselves up. But I’m here to tell you that for some men, particularly ugly men, style can play a huge role in boosting their perceived attractiveness.

Maxim #77: The role of style in diverting attention from male ugliness is severely underplayed by most ugly men.

I was at a party and noticed down at the other end of a long hall a small congregation of girls swirling around one man. I stepped closer to check out the scene, and if any of the girls were ones I knew. I didn’t know anyone, but I did notice the guy, and he was one ugly-ass mofo. Bug eyes, big ears, blotchy skin, beak nose, and horrible teeth, some of which were snaggletooths jutting out at angles like broken glass.

Now I’ve been around long enough that the sight of an ugly man holding court with one or more hot babes is nothing surprising to me. I know a man’s can-bang attitude can compensate for poor facial structure genes. But I also know it can only compensate so much. There has to be something else that distracts girls from the ugliness. And in his case, it was his flashy style.

He was decked out in what looked like Italian shoes, a fitted metallic gray suit, red socks, vest, blood red tie with some sort of iridescent pattern, and big tortoise shell designer sunglasses. He sported a very minor fauxhawk, and was well-tanned. He was a skinny white guy, average height. He smiled like he knew he was the go-to guy at that party. I could have sworn he had a gold cap on one of his miserable teeth.

No homo here, but I have to tell you, the combined sight of the girls swarming around him like he was a maypole (manpole?) plus his impeccable dress played with my powers of observation. The ugliness that assaulted me at first began to dissipate, and suddenly I was looking at a guy who left me with little doubt he knew how to seduce women. Now imagine that perception-warping power quadrupled when used against women, who are after all the sex with the more easily manipulable acumen.

Great style — the kind of style that says you are confident enough to outshine other men and that you have exquisite taste for the finer things in life — is ugliness-reducing. If you are an ugly man, you WILL become less ugly to women if you dress like you’re a leading man. Coupled with game and a totally un-self-conscious attitude, girls will not even notice they are falling for a troll.

NOTE: Does not work for women. Ugly women can maybe… MAYBE… add a quarter point to their rank with good style, but unfortunately for them men are so piercingly attuned to women’s facial features and body that not even the best tailored fashion can alter the trajectory of their target designators. Ugly men have options that ugly women do not.

If you are an average-looking man, the right style will help, but you won’t see as much of a benefit from it as the ugly man. There are diminishing returns to dressing to excess. If you are a good-looking man, you are almost better off *downscaling* your style, so that you don’t intimidate girls into thinking you’re unattainable. Very good-looking men with game who also dress with flash should focus on 9s and 10s, because those will be the only types of girls who won’t give such a man undue grief for making them feel like he is out of their league.

I later learned the ugly guy worked for Prada, and he was wearing one of their suits. I also learned something which only one other person knew at that party: he was bi. Those girls smitten by his style and charm were in for disappointment, unless they like to share.

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Dress Like A Sexy Beast

This is the Chateau men’s fashion post. While normally guests of the Chateau idle about in hooded black robes accessorized with cat o’ nine tails, there are those times in the company of the outside world that genitals must be sheathed and attention paid to dress norms. Here, as with all things pleasurable in life, our proprietors excel in transcending the norms while still nodding to them to maximize our social advantage.

I was fortunate to have had a few friends in my life who were particularly stylish dressers from whom I could crib tips. They were naturals at the sartorial arts, in fact. Don’t underestimate how valuable an asset a male mentor can be, whether in school, work, fashion, or pickup. Remember, if a man — who is at heart your natural competitor — is giving you helpful advice as a friend, it is worth the well-meaning advice of one hundred women.

This post is intended for generally in-shape men. Lean men. If you are a fatass or you can’t run without pantomiming an infinity symbol with your jiggly manboobs, then you will not benefit from the advice herein. This post is also about fashion for the everyman who wants a leg up; it is not a peacocker’s how-to guide to looking like the world’s biggest dandy. I’ve nothing against huge velvet cowboy hats, LED belt buckles, or 18th century justacorps, but that level of expressiveness is best reserved for tall men stalking glam nightclubs in select cities such as LA. In everyday situations, peacocking to that extreme will leave an impression of try-hard, and while you’ll get attention, it’ll be the sort of attention lavished on the uncomprehending poindexter whose presence fuels a roomful’s worth of ridicule. Unless you have the balls-out confidence to comfortably carry a florid peacock’s tail without withering under public scrutiny, you should avoid radical extremism in style.

A couple of thoughts before continuing: why is refined peacocking, to a greater or lesser degree, attractive to women? The answer lies in the handicap principle. A man of means and free time can afford to dabble with superfluous dress affects. A man struggling to make his way in the world (or a man unconcerned with attracting women) will have no time or money to style himself in anything but the most practical uniform for trundling through his day (see: herb). So the well-dressed man, punctuated attentively with perfectly calibrated accessories, signals to women that he has made it, and has brainpower to spare for pursuing the finer things in life. Ostentatious and impractical display sends the message that a man can burden himself with inconsequential frippery and still succeed without breaking a sweat.

That said, fashion is UNNECESSARY for picking up women. If you walk with the swagger of a warlord and your game is unstoppable, you can pick up girls wearing torn jeans and a ratty t-shirt. However much it repulses our sense of cosmic harmony, we’ve all seen guys like this with cute chicks (note: he was not gay):

Feel free to work on your game while wearing mandals, but why make pickup harder than need be? A man with unstoppable confidence, tight game, AND good fashion sense is a force to be reckoned with. You may not need a sense of style, but you’ll want it when you see how it draws positive female attention before you’ve even opened your mouth.


Fit is everything.

A bad fit — oversized shirt or jacket, too long or too short sleeve length, pants with extra ass material to store an accidental shit — will make a $3,000 suit look like an off the rack rumple of textile. A good fit, on the other hand, can make discount rack stuff from Filene’s Basement look sharp. What’s funny is that as the number one rule of men’s fashion, it is violated by more men more often than any other rule. It’s as if men lack the neural wiring to perceive poor fit. Or they’ve gotten so fat that good fit has become synonymous with “encased like a sausage”.

I’ll give fashion tips starting from the top and working our way down.


Hats are an excellent accessory that add a dash of dash. There are few enough men wearing non-baseball cap hats that the hat can function as a legitimate peacock device. Tip: Don’t buy hats from chain stores or well-tread fashion houses. That cool fedora you spot in Urban Outfitters or Banana Republic was probably purchased by twenty other guys before you, and nothing screams tool louder than showing up at a bar wearing the same hat as another man. It’s almost as bad as wearing the same shirt, but at least with the hat you can take it off. I bought my last hat from a sidewalk vendor who looked like he was not running his business with the appropriate licenses, but I could buy confidently knowing that the odds were very low another man would own the same hat. Also, be careful of one size fits all hats. They are often undersized, so try them on before buying. Finally, don’t forget to pull the brim down low.


This is too personal a style decision for me to narrow down your choices, but in general the thinner framed, smaller lensed sunglasses are in right now. Dark lenses are better than light- or off-colored lenses. Sunglasses are a great way to measure the symmetry of your face, and thus amount of negative first impression you’ll have to overcome with robust game. If the glasses tilt to one side, you are facially asymmetrical. Lyle Lovett went “ha haaw!”.


Are you gay?


Are you a guido? As far as accessories go, I’d steer clear of necklaces. If you really want to dangle something from your neck, proceed with caution and stick with leather laced items. Huge, glinty metal talismans are probably too douchey for most guys.


Err on the side of tighter rather than looser. A good way to quickly measure whether a shirt is the wrong fit is to grab it at the middle buttons and pull outward from your torso. If there is more than a four inch gap between the shirt and your skin, then it is too billowy. You really want to avoid the billow. It’s unsexy. Sleeve length should extend about a half inch past the point where your wrist meets your hand. Don’t get too worked up if the sleeves are not the right length but the rest of the shirt fits great; I often roll up sleeves or hide them under blazers. T-shirts should follow the same four-inch anti-billow rule, though you can wear tees tighter than button-downs. Don’t wear skin tight shirts; save that stuff for the gym or the bathhouse. Don’t bother with exotic patterns; that swirly patterned shirt you bought at Ken Cole was also bought by ten other men. Stick with solid, bold colors. Stretch material is good, as is a bit of shine or iridescence when constrained under a blazer. Solid colored shirts that have a faint pattern stitched into the fabric are also good. If you like to wear button-downs untucked, it is imperative that the shirt is not loose-fitting, and that it isn’t too long. It should hug your pants just a couple inches past the belt.


Ties are cool. Ties are masculine. Ties don’t have to be relegated to wearing with suits. You can wear a tie with a t-shirt for crying out loud and look good. In fact, the tie is an excellent peacock accessory. When worn casually with short sleeves or t-shirts, you want to keep a healthy space between the knot and your neck. And don’t button the top button. A brightly colored tie, such as purple or pink, paired with a black button down or tee under a black blazer, is a sexy look.

Blazer/Sport Jacket

A sharp blazer can reinvigorate an entire closet of so-so shirts. Again, you want to avoid extra material. When you button the jacket, there shouldn’t be more than a few inches of space between your body and the fabric. You want to accentuate that V shape of the manly man torso. The lines of the shoulder (you can see where the shoulder stops and the sleeve starts by the line of stitching that connects those two parts) should sit right at the end of your shoulders, and not one millimeter past. Two buttons are in style now, though you won’t be committing a grave sin if you opt for three. One vent is preferable to two. For a more casual or club-oriented look, blazers with an accessorized look — such as extra zippers or pockets or off-color stitching — are an acceptable alternative to traditional sport coats. Stay away from beige; bold colors or unconventional colors will help your blazer stand out from the crowd of herbs in their sensible sport coats. I like lime colored or white jackets for the summer, and shiny black jackets in the winter.

Short sleeve shirt

It’s summer, so no need to sweat like a pig for style. Button down short sleeve shirts are good as long as you keep in mind a couple of rules: one, the sleeves must fit fairly tight to your bicep (not spandex tight). No dorky flare between the sleeve and your upper arm should be evident. Two, don’t get short sleeves with one pocket. Two pockets or no pockets are acceptable.


Tight fitting T-shirts paired with blazers are a good look. Don’t be afraid to sport a solid colored tee. A solid black or gray tee will look good under a stylish blazer. You don’t need to spice it up by wearing a tee with a crazy pattern, or hipster slogan, unless the slogan is so funny that it’s sure to get attention from girls. Example: I saw a t-shirt with a stick figure man who had three legs drawn in, over the word “Gifted”. That’s pretty funny.


Yeah, they’re out of style. Which is why I wear them now. Buy vests at consignment shops. You’ll find cool retro stuff there that assures your look won’t be copied. A vest thrown over a t-shirt can really jumpstart a look.


Wide, hulking leather bracelets look like you’re trying. Thin leather bracelets, perhaps adorned with metal studs, are better. A couple pieces of black string nestled with a thin bracelet is a good way for newbs to peacock.


Rings have been the PUA’s signature peacock accessory since before the term was coined. They’re still a solid addition to any man’s style, but you should try to get your rings from sources off the beaten path. I have one ring I bought from a ramshackle gift shop in the middle of desert country that I’m sure no one else has. Fewer is better with rings. More than two rings and you’ll look like a wiseguy.


I like simple, well-crafted belts with a stylish but not gaudy buckle. I’m not a fan of studded or hole-punched belts, but I’ve seen guys pull off that look without a problem. If you’re wearing jeans and untucked shirts, you don’t need a belt.


Same fit rule should follow with pants. When you try them on, pull at the leg material. If you can pull more than a couple inches form your leg, you are wearing pants too baggy for you. Jeans and pants, though, should be slightly more loose fitting relative to upper body clothing, which is why I prefer casual fit jeans to slim fit. Stay away from skinny jeans. I don’t care how many hipsters wear them and get laid, skinny jeans on men who aren’t on stage performing in a rock band look retarded. Anyhow, if you go to the gym and have any quad development at all, you won’t be able to fit in skinny jeans. Choose dark jeans; the darker the blue the better, generally. Elaborate back pocket designs are out for straight men. So are whiskers, studs, and fake holes. You don’t need to spend a fortune on jeans. I’ve gotten more compliments on my $70 Lucky Brand jeans than my $150 Diesel jeans. Obviously, pant pleats are a no-go, and will likely be so for a long while. Banana Republic sells some decent dress casual pants, though I’d skip their jeans.


Again, since it’s the summer, why suffer for style? Shorts should extend to the knee, or just past it. Bulky cargo shorts are out. Solid colors are the way to go. Shorts are not a highlight piece; they are a functional piece that should not distract from your other stylish pieces.


Don’t ignore socks. They can be an excellent source of peacockery. Generally, socks should be the same or similar hue as your pants. Pair dark socks with dress shoes and jeans. Sneakers should be paired with black socks. White socks only for the gym. Socks should be longer rather than shorter; nothing more annoying than socks that constantly slip down your calves. But occasionally you can add style by wearing a brightly colored sock meant to be seen when you sit down. I like to wear red socks with dark jeans that complement a red shirt or tie. If you are wearing shorts, it may be better to forego socks entirely.


Things to avoid: box-toed shoes, excessively pointy shoes, shoes with heavy soles that stick out from the sides, sandals. Things to look for: driver’s moccasins in place of flip-flops, traditionally styled shoes (not too pointy, not too square-toed), a solid manly heel. Shoes are noticed by women before anything else. It seems shoes are some kind of signaling agent that tells a woman how well you think of yourself. Since there are so many useful websites out there dedicated to the ins and outs of men’s shoe fashion, I’ll skip going into detail here.


This subject deserves a post of its own. Suffice to say, nothing more boldly or confidently projects solid manliness than a tailored suit. While the suit is not for every occasion, during those few times when you do wear one, you’ll feel the ghostly pulse of a thousand Don Drapers before you infuse your soul with pussy-wilting power. Charity events, art shows, exhibits, and happy hours that aren’t overrun by college-aged interns pounding Miller Lights are great places to showcase yourself in a suit.

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Cologne On Your Balls

I have found the perfect cologne: Armani Attitude


It’s got a manly earthy undertone with a powerful musk oxen finish. I like to spritz a little on my crotch. A man with genitals as regal as mine deserves the finest perfumes.

“Did you spray cologne down here?”



“I think you’ve answered that.”

“Well, it does smell pretty good.”

“A boner bouquet.”

I think I’m onto something. I’m going to market a crotch cologne called “Eau de Another Woman’s Vaj Juice On My Dick”. It’ll be like catnip to the ladies.

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