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Archive for the ‘Funny/Lolblogs’ Category

Besides a wispy thatch of blonde pubes cresting a slow wave of inflamed pink, this might be the most beautiful thing I’ve seen all week.

Early this morning, an anonymous person or persons put up posters around Columbia University—in the 116th Street subway station, outside of Tom’s Restaurant, on stoplights and construction walls—emblazoned with the image of student Emma Sulkowicz and her now-iconic mattress. Since September 2014, Sulkowicz has been dragging the mattress around campus as a protest against the school’s handling of her rape allegations against another student. (That student, Paul Nungesser, has since sued the university.) This morning’s posters accuse Sulkowicz of making it all up, dismissing her as “Pretty Little Liar” with the caption “Emma Sulkowitz” [sic] and “RapeHoax.”

A new Twitter account, @FakeRape, has been tweeting pictures of the posters for the last five hours. Another poster, picturing Lena Dunham sticking her tongue out, is clearly part of the series, emblazoned “Big Fat Liar,” with the same #RapeHoax hashtag.

A graduating army of Chateau Heartiste shock troops likes the feel of their heavy scrota, and the joy of placing their stones on the chins of malicious feminist cuntrags. For this reason, the Columbia University anonymous Realtalker™ earns this edition of Shiv of the Week.

Shame, mortify, and ostracize feminists until they slither away to their dank bedrooms in solidarity with their bruised egos, or they self-deliver in the gloom of their despair. Cantankerous and cancerous feminist attention whores fear nothing more than total social expulsion. When the tide finally turns, and it will, even their closest sistren will betray them for the mercy of the cool mean girls.

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Check out the WOWJUSTWOW face on this broad (at 4:02) after Gavin McInnes drops a steaming deuce on a Feminist First Principle.

He’s basically right. Most women (read: non-reptiles) are happier raising kids than they are raising profit margins. Most men are happier in the office than they are at home changing diapers. Men and women are different to their cores, and feminism is a project of lies with the goal of eradicating those core differences. And if they can’t succeed at erasing biological reality, they’ll take their consolation prize by mangling public policy and laws until all men and women are miserable.

We need more hardcore pushback against feminism, and more WOWJUSTWOW faces wrested from the wretched witches.

Related: Sheryl Sandberg’s “Lean In” book more likely to hurt women than to help them.

Ms. Sandberg goes clueless on science throughout her book…

Heh.

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Birthday Cat Game

Ah, Birthday Cat, what distaff hearts can’t you warm? A reader (his chat in blue bubbles) sends a screenshot of his phone, demonstrating the power of the cutesy non sequitur to drive women wild with curiosity and arousal.

Women ask questions when they are intrigued by a man. A completely uninterested woman would simply not reply to the cat pictogram, or would blow it off with her own non sequitur.

That phrase “…I guess” is also telling. Translating from the womanese, “…I guess” means “…I guess I don’t know what you think about me, and it’s driving me nuts.”

Some more Birthday Cat Game in action, here.

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A reader perspicaciously noted that not only does this GBFM-approved photo of a carousel feature a cock front and center, but there’s a white horse just to its side missing its white knight, and a hungry cougar right behind the cock ready to devour the soul of the girl riding it.

Sometimes eternal truths are revealed through sadistic serendipity.

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The UMB (Urban Millennial Bitterbitch) wants you to know she’s a tankgrrl rolling over your male privilege and patriarchal assumptions.

Don’t they know it’s different for men?

Best advice CH could give women like her: Get off this:

Related: Sexual consent is implicit in the marriage contract.

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Heh.

Any straight white man who votes for Grandma Hillary, aka the wife of Monica Lewinsky’s ex-boyfriend, in 2016 for any reasons other than as a principled objection to the current GOP de Meximerica ideological configuration or to hasten the end of Poz-Americana needs to have his balls extracted from their nesting spot against his ovaries.

In the meantime, smearing leftoid men with the “low-T” label is effective COPROP that could, at the margins, convince a few pansy-assed equalists to rethink their self-immolation and even more to slink away in embarrassed silence. The virtue of this low-T slander strategy is that it’s true, which means you don’t need a supplicant media machine to help elevate your charges to accepted wisdom. Your targets will autonomically wince with self-aware pain, because they’ve been living with their effeminacy for decades, and are all too familiar with their personal shortcomings in the testicular department.

Prediction: If Hillary Rodham is the nominee, she will receive the lowest percentage of white male votes in the history of the Democrat party. And it won’t matter. Election outcome will be the same. Madam President.

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Pleasureshivvers draw copious blood in an entertaining thread titled “Shitlib-faces.png“. Do shitlibs — aka leftoids (the CH nomenclature crafted to draw attention to the essential anti-human ideology of SJWs) — have a distinguishing “look”? Why, yes, they do.

It’s physiognomies all the way down.

I leave it as an exercise for the reader to find the shitlibbiest face of all time. Here’s my contribution:

I think I just lost five years worth of boners.

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