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Archive for the ‘Funny/Lolblogs’ Category

Most of the Chateau readers are probably familiar with the latest Roosh controversy. If you don’t know about it, here’s a primer. Executive Summary: Roosh had to cancel a bunch of multi-city Return of Kings meet-ups with his readers because an assortment of life’s biggest losers and ghastly freaks — SJWs, feminists, neckbeards, fatties, uglies, cucks, and the governments of Britain, Canada and Australia — were offended by this exercise of free association and set about to rectify the situation with literal death threats and port of entry bans.

The degenerate freak mafia found an old, satirical (maybe we should call it satyrical) Roosh post about rape and the lost art of female personal responsibility, that they deliberately and disingenuously misinterpreted as a pro-rape statement of intent. The big lie then spread like wildfire through the leftoid Hivemind media, and the death threats flowed like John Boehner’s tears when he thinks about cradling his future mixed race grandchild. The fucking UK Parliament had a debate about the international threat known as Roosh. Clown world.

It’s clear what’s going on here. Antiracist shitlibs and feminists mentally frazzled from willfully ignoring and excusing actual rapefugees are using Roosh as an outlet to vent. It makes one recall that old axiom: Liberals love humanity (brown rapefugees) but hate humans (huwhyte Roosh). Conservatives love humans but hate humanity. Personally, I’m fond of the latter character trait. Humans are part of my daily life; humanity…. eh, not so much.

Which brings us to the title of this post. Roosh held a press conference to clear the air and his good name. Fat lot of good it did? Not so fast. Read the transcript. This was nothing less than a public raping of the corrupt shitlib media and everything they represent.

Reporter: Why do you think people think of you as a rapist?

Roosh: They need a target to get all the rage that the citizens have to put it on someone that doesn’t conflict with the agenda of your bosses and the ruling establishment. Roosh, go after him, it doesn’t matter if he gets hurt but we can’t go against our immigrant agenda. We can’t go against the feminist agenda. So we need to get the masses (the idiots who believe the stuff that you write) and put it on to something else. So you put it on me. I’m just a scapegoat. They are just using me. But, I’m going to harness this. I’m going to harness all this coverage that you guys are giving me and convert it to money and women. That’s what I’m going to do. That’s the job that I have to do. I’m getting emails from a lot of girls right now and I plan (once this drama dies down if I can survive it) I may have to get in touch with them. That’s what you given me. You have made me one of the most famous men in the world. Granted, it was a lie. It was a lie. But hey, this is where we are right now so I’m going to work with what you gave me.

Female Reporter: Do you acknowledge that any of your writing might be genuinely offensive or upsetting to some people?

Roosh: So what?

:lol: Trump smirked approvingly.

I get that Roosh is first and foremost a self-promoter. No doubt he invites a fair share of his clickbait controversy. But on the basic facts of this travail, he’s right. The SJWs lied (as per usual). The media lied (as per usual). And shitlibs are raging hypocrites for looking away when Muslim migrant real rapes occur while frothing at the mouth over a blog post satirizing modren feminist hysteria about a nonexistent, totally imaginary White male “rape culture”.

It was a small press conference, only a few reporters there, but the message delivered will have an impact beyond the confines of that room. The media is slowly, inexorably, being put on notice that The People know they’re a den of zero integrity liars and hired propagandists for the open borders, pro-feminist crank, anti-White ruling class.

I know many on the alt-right aren’t fans of Roosh. This post isn’t a defense of everything Roosh has written, nor is it meant to change their minds about him. All I’d say to them is, know your true enemies. The alt-right has a lot of great writers and thinkers, but how many are standing up to leftoid reporters at conference rooms and smacking them down to their smug faces?

We in the West live under an occupation force. Alt-right allies willing to speak publicly against the Poz, to take the fight directly to them, are hard to find. When you find them, embrace their efforts on your cause’s behalf. Purity is the enemy of the good.

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Marco Rubio is stupid. And maybe gay. He’s taking heat for his latest debate performance, where he repeated an obviously scripted line five times — “[president butt naked] knows exactly what he’s doing” — like a robot remotely controlled by GOPe puppet masters.

In honor of Marco Fruitio’s scratched record intellect, here is a remix of an old Styx song.

Domo Arigato, Marco Roboto
Domo Arigato, Marco Roboto
Mata ahoo Hima de
Domo Arigato, Marco Roboto
Himitsu wo foam party

You’re wondering who I am
(Secret, secret, I’ve got a secret)
Pool boy or neocon
(Secret, secret, I’ve got a secret)
No borders are my plan
(Secret, secret, I’ve got a secret)
I am the donors’ man

I’ve got a secret, I’ve been hiding under my skin
My heart is foreign, my blood is Cuban
My brain is for rent, so if you see me
Acting dumbly, don’t be surprised

I’m just a toady who takes his orders
From Norman Braman
To keep me alive, my campaign alive
Soundbites all night to keep me alive

I’m not a robot without emotions
I’m not what you see
I’ve come to help you
With your problems, so pass amnesty
I’m not a hetero, I’m not a señor
Forget what you know

I’m just a cipher whose campaign circus
Went beyond his control
Beyond my control, we all need control
I need control, big donor control

I am the Davos man
(Secret, secret I’ve got a secret)
Who had a simple task
(Secret, secret, I’ve got a secret)
Mouthpiece for globalists
(Secret, secret, I’ve got a secret)
To shun nationalists

Domo Arigato, Marco Roboto
Domo, Domo
Domo Arigato, Marco Roboto
Homo, Homo

Domo Arigato, Marco Roboto
Domo Arigato, Marco Roboto
Domo Arigato, Marco Roboto
Domo Arigato, Marco Roboto
Domo Arigato, Marco Roboto

Thank you very much, Marco Roboto
For handing over jobs to H-1B scammers
And thank you very much, Marco Roboto
For helping Mexicans
Crash in my backyard
Thank you, thank you, thank you
I want to thank you
Please, thank you, oh and Zuckerberg too

The problem’s plain to see
Too much corrupt elite
Pushing race blindness lies
Cuck lies, de-humanize

The time has come at last
(Secret, secret, I’ve got a secret)
To throw away this mask
(Secret, secret, I’ve got a secret)
Now everyone can see
(Secret, secret, I’ve got a secret)
My true identity

I’m Merkel, Facebook, Google, Soros

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One (hot) girl telling another (less hot) girl about her disappointment in a man she’s dating.

“He won’t do anal. Not like I asked or anything, but he kind of made a face and backed off when it started going there. He’s not adventurous with sex. Not at all. Like, so plain vanilla. White bread. *laugh* Do I want this? Am I crazy for wanting more? He’s got a big money job. But so what, that’s not gonna get me off.”

The best thing about overhearing this conversation was the other girl listening patiently. Her facial expression never changed from neutral. Not even a twitch. She sat and nodded her head solemnly, as if she was listening to a lecture on geopolitical trends.

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Who Bitch This Is?” stands as the battle cry of a resurgent patriarchy. Now we have another entrant to add to the glorious WBTI revolution.

The referring reader writes,

This story reminds me of the video of the black guy who was confronted by a fat feminist at a gaming tournament.  He ignored her and looked for the responsible man by asking “Who bitch this is?”

In this video some guy stands by while his she-whale of a girl friend gets in the face of some guy.  The guy beats the crap out of the boyfriend.

Control your women CH readers.

It’s an ugly video (in all ways), so prepare yourselves. A sheboon shoggoth starts the fight, and an all-too-typical Black Lives Shatter scene of chaos erupts. The large city worker answers the woman’s taunts by pummeling her weak husband into submission.

An infuriated straphanger restrained himself when a foul-mouthed woman showered him with obscenities and saliva aboard a subway train in the Bronx. Clearly reluctant to strike the woman, he took it out on her spouse.

“I won’t hit a b—h,” the enraged straphanger shouted as he stood with both fists raised in a boxing stance. “But I will f–k your (man) up.”

Is this Black White Knighting? I don’t think it qualifies. He’s not coming to the pigwoman’s defense. He’s acknowledging (in his high-browed way) that his strength could seriously smash a woman – even one as fat as this charming specimen – to death. And so he has deemed it necessary to attack her via proxy, (sort of like how Muslim tribes get revenge by attacking family members of foes — Muslims, like this black man, understand that enemies don’t act in a vacuum; they are supported and enabled by a network of relations).

Another angry passenger asks the woman to get off the train as they idle on the tracks.

“Someone’s gonna have to give me my $2.75,” the passenger finally snaps, referring to the cost of a single ride on the train.

:lol:

As the situation escalated, the woman’s husband tried helplessly to calm the situation.

“Yo, chill, man,” he said as no one paid any attention.

Black beta male. They exist. A man’s woman is so very revealing of his character. Take up with a disgusting blob of crass stupidity and people will assume you’re a beta loser. And most of the time, they’ll be right.

On balance, I think it’s an idea whose time has come for the weak, supplicating beta male partners of repulsive anti-social women to be held partly responsible for their women’s shit behavior. Maybe if these betas paid a price for their unmanly submission to gross, stampeding wildebeests we’d begin to see fewer of these self-entitled women despoiling the public space.

How many women will posture like enraged gorillas when they don’t have the security blanket, however tattered, of a beta boyfriend lurking alongside? I bet not too many.

Who bitch this is? No one’s? Ok, then. *SLAM THE CLAM*

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From what looks to be a late 19th Century pamphlet advising women to heed the approach of The Wall and to abstain from the life of a dissolute party girl, (h/t @KaliYugaSurf):

“bad literature” :lol: 50 Shades of Gray-style female porn has been around for a long time.

Our ancestors were wise. There was no “40 is the new 20” back then. A single woman at 40 has lost all her feminine charms; a sexual market outcast, for sure, but also a social outcast. The two designations tend to go hand-in-hand for women who remain unmarried and childless. (To a much lesser extent, this is true for men as well, but men have the option of several compensating social and sexual status-boosting pursuits that mitigate any marginal ostracism from remaining unmarried and childless.)

It was also assumed by our wise elders that women would have children by age 26, committing them to a life of home of hearth and removing them utterly from the field of courtship. Today? Eh…. not so much.

partysluts

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CH hasn’t had a Trumpening Game post in a while. Check out this video of O’Cuckly interviewing Trump yesterday about Trump’s wise decision to forego the FoxNews GOP debate moderated by the extremely biased and unprofessional shit stirrer Megyn Kelly, (skip to 14:25).

TRUMP: Don’t ask me that question because it’s an embarrassing question…… for you.

That quip was deadly. It’s what I call a micro-reframe. In a pickup situation, one would use this on a girl who asked a personal question (say, about how many girls you’ve been with) that you didn’t want to answer. The pause before unloading the “for you” coda builds a smug anticipation in the girl that her qualification attempt will soon be validated. But, like what Trump did to O’Cuckly, you unleash this explosive little reframe and she will be left speechless, wondering where you’ve been all her life.

It takes balls to pull off stuff like what Trump does on a regular basis, but if you want to date young, cute, thin girls who have lots of options, you’ll need to find your balls.

Don’t be Fox News, the betabitch who begs for love.

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Charles Darwin – yes, that guy – once drew up a pro and con list for getting married. His list is reprinted here, in readable format.

darwinmarrynot

The standard Chateau view of marriage is that it is a raw deal for individual American men, as currently constituted, (it wasn’t always thus). However, there are good reasons for monogamous, heterosexual marriage to continue as a cultural norm and societal buttress. Ol’ Charlie hit on a number of the pros. It’s really not a good idea to have children outside of marriage, particularly over the long term (single mommyhood erodes civilizational capital). Over the short term, it’s still a bad idea unless you belong to one of the few human races in the world (think: Swedes) who can handle having children within an unmarried, cohabitational context. (The verdict is out on how sustainable the Swedish method is, considering how quickly their evolved suite of mental characteristics compels them to hand their country over to the kebab crush.)

fr tho, Darwin’s other marriage pros could nearly as easily be gotten with a live-in long-term girlfriend, but to give him credit that was most certainly not the case back in his day. Also, :lol: at “Better than a dog, anyhow”.

A lot of Darwin’s marriage cons are inarguable; men must betray their masculine urge to wander and explore once they are hitched to home and wife. Most men aren’t keen about keeping themselves in good graces with relatives; women have much more affinity for nurturing family ties. It is absolutely true that wives, and to a lesser extent husbands, get fat and lazy after marriage. A wife and family are a responsibility that will cut into a man’s free time, (many men are ok with trading in their free time for the comforts of domestication). Less money? Sure. (Don’t be fooled by the lure of a double income. Wives – and long-time cohabitating girlfriends – will just spend twice as fast and twice as much what they spent when they were single.)

Darwin was very concerned about an increase in his “anxiety” from marriage, as he wrote it twice. Potential marital money problems vexed him, too. The provider beta was a real catch in Darwin’s day that isn’t as true today. Women didn’t HATE HATE HATE betas back then with the same bubbling spite. But the ability of a provider beta in the Darwin era to leverage his provisioning skill for prime poon meant that he couldn’t slack off and give his date a bag of Skittles for her birthday, and recline smugly knowing a blowjob was coming his way regardless. Jerkboy Game in Darwin’s time probably had more limited appeal to women than it does today.

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